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helenazbmrskai · 3 years

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It’s all timing - pjm

– If you’re searching for a light and fluffy read well, this won’t be your cup of tea so continue with caution darlings! –

Title – It’s all timing

Pairing – cold husband! Jimin x clocksmith! OC

Genre – fantasy, romance, extreme amount of angst, time travel, smut, marriage, established relationship, Ceo, exes to lovers

Summary – I learnt the hard way that marriage can change a person. I would have never thought that an old watch will let me have a glimpse of my ex-husband’s world but don’t be mistaken I’m not here to fix things. I’m here to change it.

Warning(s) – Jimin is not a loveable character here (until way way later), cheating, mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation, falling in and out of love, the past and present clash a lot, different timelines that may be confusing, this is going to be a wild ride girls and boys, themes of depression and sadness, feeling of worthlessness, and self-image distortion, numbness, discussion of not wanting to have children. Unedited.

Word Count – (5.2k)

[21st March 2021]

Things between us were not always complicated. Our friendship was always exceptional even when friends fought and sought different ways after freshman year at the local Community College, Jimin and I were glued to each other’s side and maybe that’s why no one was surprised as we announced our plans to get married after we graduated.

The new world that greeted us after we finished high school only seemed meaningful because I had Jimin by my side. At that time I had no idea I’ll fall for him this hard, he literally became the extension of myself, my arms and limbs and the lungs that kept me alive. He was my first serious boyfriend even though I dated a few guys here and there before him but none of those relationships seemed to work out either because of me or the guy. Jimin is someone who could easily have his ways with words so when he decided to show interest in me as in more than friends, it was inevitable that I would give in. He was a wonderful lover in the beginning. Passionate and loving, we had many movie nights that ended up with his hands down my pants as his thick fingers rubbed my clit. He bought me flowers and comforted me when I had a bad day.

His cunning smile could get him out of a lot of trouble. Maybe that’s why I never saw the other side of him that sometimes peeked through his carefully crafted mask. I decided to ignore all the red flags until I found myself in a loveless marriage with a man that I couldn’t recognise anymore. Once I realised what had happened it was already too late.

[12nd November 2018]

Jimin hated the fact that I was a heavy sleeper. He even threatened me once that he’ll sleep in the guest room if he had to wake up one more time to my alarm relentlessly ringing while I showed no signs of waking up any time soon.

My workspace was on the other side of town. The rent was cheap so it was worth the extra miles and the full tank of gas in my car but because of it I had to wake up extra early so I could finish showering then I would go to the kitchen to make lunch for Jimin to take with him to work and still have enough time to get ready with a freshly brewed coffee in one hand and toast in the other. Even after our first year in marriage passed by like a flash, Jimin continued to be his affectionate self, he showered me with kisses and felt needy for my touch.

It was one of our best years together. Jimin started to get more involved with his father’s company and my workshop began to gain more popularity to my greatest surprise. While I was working on an old clock that was brought into my shop by an old married couple a few hours ago my focus kept wandering back to this morning. Smiling under my nose as I thought back to why I was late to open up my little workshop this particular morning.

Jimin likes to be spontaneous he always calls me a bore when I hesitate to try out new things but this time he did not have to do much convincing before I agreed. It was weirdly satisfying to wake up to Jimin’s head buried between the juncture of my thighs, shaking and aroused even though I couldn’t feel or hear him do all those sinful things to me while I was asleep. I didn’t feel him take off my panties or lift the covers to expose my bare centre to his hungry eyes and when our gazes met he proudly told me how well I took his fingers even while I was unconscious.

Experimenting was not something I was willing to do before Jimin showed me the appeal of trying out new things. With him by my side, I felt invincible like I could conquer the world if he stays next to me holding my hand tight.

We outlived all expectations. They said high school sweethearts don’t last, well, we did. Even though both of our parents were against the idea of us marrying each other so young we ended up doing just that. Jimin proposed after we got our diploma and I said yes. We lived together as roommates throughout all those years we spent together studying and we moved in together after both of us got our first jobs as postgrads.

I was happy it felt like we were at the top of the world but if I had known that after that year everything will go downhill I would have tried to be happier.

[24th December 2019]

Do you know what are the telltales of cheaters? Well, it starts with subtle changes in his behaviour, you begin to see him less he makes up excuses of having too much work to do or stress so that he could avoid your advances.

He tries to make it up to you with expensive gifts but they mean nothing after the tenth impersonal present because all you would ever want is his attention and love instead of those pathetic attempts of showing their devotion with empty words. The last and most important one on the list is the new anonymous contact on his phone that shows several phone calls and text messages back and forth for hours.

Jimin did all of those.

He stopped experimenting with me. He would fuck me from behind even when I told him I want to see his face. No foreplay, no more cute nose kisses and breathless laughs between the acts of lust and playful wandering fingers.

He no longer cared if I finished first or not at all because after he was done it meant it was over. Jimin took a shower and crawled into bed facing away from me now that this task was taken care of. After the fifth time that he left me hanging, I gathered all the courage that’s left in me to stop his hands from dipping under my pants. I felt disgusted and used he made me think I’m a mere fucktoy that he can discard once it lost its appeal.

I had one of the worst days at work. The clock I was working on was missing a crucial part that I could only import from abroad and the man who wanted it fixed told me to don’t bother because he can’t afford such an expensive repair. It was not something that I could control, the clock was antique for fucks sake. He left without paying for my services even though I told him it was not the only part that I needed to change.

On my way home, a drunk man almost crashed into me with his Sedan and it left me a little shaken up, it was justified to feel the way I was and when Jimin tried to make a move on me by groping my breasts without asking permission first I just snapped.

Not one to back up he snapped right back and it led to one of our ugliest fights. I couldn’t believe the words he so carelessly let out from between those poisonous lips. We had quarrels before every couple has that, it’s normal to disagree to some extents but he went too far this time around. It’s not just the words that left me a crying mess on our bedroom floor with snot stuffing my nostrils, sniffing and rubbing the tears from my swollen eyes. I broke down once I heard the front door shut with a force that made the windows shake. It was past midnight when I heard shuffling and muffled voices, I knew Jimin was back so I cracked the door open just enough to peek into the dark living room.

It was not just Jimin, the smell of alcohol penetrated my nostrils as I watched my husband with disgust, making out with a girl in our shared apartment. I couldn’t believe the audacity he had to bring this chick back where we’re supposed to live together, it was just too much. Hearing him ram into her from the guest bedroom while I cried in our shared bedroom with just one wall separating us. I bet he didn’t even hear the front door closing while I dialled my friend’s number to pick me up. He couldn’t have heard that over that girl’s loud moaning.

I don’t remember when I finally stopped crying in my friend’s arms. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened. It was enough humiliation to witness my once loving husband come home with a quick fuck after a fight, it doesn’t matter that he was reeking of expensive shots of alcohol. It didn’t make his actions any less painful.

My heart broke into a million more pieces when I saw him calling me the next day. I didn’t have the guts to pick up, all I could see was him kissing another girl. I bet he was so drunk that he couldn’t remember anything, I wonder if he yelled at the girl in the morning to get the fuck out once he realised it’s not me who lays beside him. Wishful thinking on my part, he probably fucked her in the morning too just before he called me.

Somi finds my body doubled over her toilet throwing up water since it’s been a while I last ate. She helps me through it and gently gathers my hair into a loose ponytail so I won’t get any in my hair as beads of sweat and tears are rolling down my face. My body works on autopilot going through the cleaning motions as I take a burning hot shower and then lay down to get some rest. My body aches and the fatigue is evident in every lazy flutter of my lashes.

I hear his voice, pleading to my friend to let him see me. Now it’s dark outside, it must be hours that I slept through. Somi denies that I’m here and I’m thankful for her quick understanding, the last thing I want right now is to face him. Even though I never told her what happened between us she could sense that it’s more than just a little lovers quarrel.

Our second anniversary would have been next month but instead of roses and kisses next to a dimly lit dinner table, there’s only a big envelope with papers. Divorce papers. The first time he sees me after a month of silence is to have his signature that would end this relationship for good. Today should have been a nice memory filled with laughter and passionate lovemaking. Maybe we were never meant to find each other. Better off as friends, these simple yet powerful words might have saved our future back then if one of us were brave enough to say it.

Jimin looks worn out, it’s obvious he rushed here from his office once you called, he wears his formal attire. He didn’t think you would show up even though it’s supposed to be the day that you should celebrate another year of marriage.

The papers lay heavy on his side of the table as he skims through the content he sees that you already signed your part. He picks up the pen that I prepared in advance, his hands are shaking almost crushing the poor stationery in half with the strength that he holds it.

”I don’t want to d-divorce.” It’s the first sentence that he says to me. His lips are quivering and fat tears are rolling down his cheeks by the time he dares to look into my eyes. I’m however are past the point of shedding crocodile tears. I cried over him enough times to make my face feel numb and puffy with the amount of sadness that poured out of my body in pathetic waves. I can’t keep eye contact for long as his face keeps reminding me of that night I tried so hard to erase from my memory this past month. A part of me is furious seeing him cry, he was the one who sealed out fate. He has no right to feel sad or plead with me to give him another chance.

”If you ever loved me, you will sign it. I give you a week to do the right thing.” With those last words, our anniversary ended.

[13rd October 2020]

”It’s been a whole year after your divorce, don’t you think it’s time to get yourself out there again?” So this is why she wanted to see me I realise.

I know Somi means well, but I dread those words coming out of her mouth every once in a while. If I think about it she was always good at choosing the worst timing to bring the subject up. She’s not aware that this particular day holds a lot of those sour memories that I once cherished. This day was once one of the most important days to me, to us.

Today is Jimin’s Birthday, it’s the first time since we became friends and then later lovers that we don’t spend this day together anymore. I don’t know how to feel about it yet. I used this new year to heal from my wounds that the love of my life left behind. Getting used to living alone after living with someone for so long was tough. I caught myself making more food than I needed or when I was shopping I got those yoghurts that Jimin loves so much even though I’ve always hated the taste of those. I end up throwing them out at home. I blocked his number and any kind of social media that I could think of from the top of my head. The silence between us was crushing at first, I thought that there are no more tears left to shed but when I got our divorce papers from my attorney I couldn’t stop the new waves of tears from escaping.

Yet all my efforts seem to be in vain as my mind keeps going back to him. I catch myself wondering how he’s doing. If he feels as shitty as me even after a full year apart. If he ever wished things would have been different between us. I just wanted to know if he ever regretted destroying our marriage because of another girl. I don’t know if they are together or not or if he dates her now that I’m out of the picture but it’s better left this way. I’m already heartbroken, seeing him again would just open up my barely healed wounds.

”Can we not talk about this today? I’m feeling kinda low right now.” I sigh, shaking my head habitually if only it would make me stop thinking about him. There’s an old fashioned watch with a silver-coated socket in front of me, it’s pretty. A middle-aged woman brought it to me today telling me that it was a gift from his grandfather but it was never in working condition. She went to several locksmiths over the years but no one could fix it so she asked at last that I would be willing to pay for it. I found it interesting so I agreed to buy it from her. I started working on the old watch and at the beginning, it didn’t want to tick even when I made the necessary changes. I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it when seemingly it didn’t have anything that needed to be fixed.

On my way home after a rough day at work, I bought some soju from the corner convenience store so I could at least get drunk enough to sleep through the whole night. The pills my therapist prescribed for me doesn’t seem to work at all nowadays.

I placed the watch down onto my bedside table and pulled the comforter over my drunk head. I heard the loud ticking of a clock but I don’t remember having one on the wall. I thought that my drunk mind probably was still hung up on the fact that I couldn’t even fix a simple watch so I shrugged the noises off and closed my eyes until red dots filled my vision.

I just need some sleep.

[13rd November 2018]

”Wake up, baby. You’ll be late again.” There’s a kiss on my shoulder then on my temple as warm hands turn me around in bed. It feels oddly familiar to have two hands around my waist that pulls me into a hard chest, blond fluffy hair fills my vision once my eyelashes flutter open.

I’m back in our shared bedroom at his lavish apartment that’s a lot better than the shitty apartment that I was able to afford after our messy divorce. Divorce? Wait. A. Fucking. Minute. What is Jimin doing here holding me? It’s been too long that I saw him but he looks oddly young here, the Jimin I last saw started to get wrinkles and lost a bit of weight but this man reminds me of the boy I fell in love with. I remember getting drunk last night but I’m sure even at the state I was in I couldn’t get here on my own and I don’t remember getting a taxi or even getting up from my bed last night. I frantically search for my phone that I conveniently find on the nightstand, speechless as I watch Jimin stretch like we just didn’t share a bed together after one year of not seeing each other. He shouldn’t look so relaxed while I panic internally.

Then I see the date as my phone screen activates with my touch. I don’t use this phone anymore, I got another one after I blocked Jimin’s number because this device was a birthday present from him that kept reminding me of, well, him so I decided to change it even though I couldn’t afford a similar model like this with my single salary. I remember this day like it only happened yesterday it was around the time that he got a good position at his father’s company and we were both invited to a found raiser event. I bought this beautiful red dress that he eagerly ripped off of me once we were back at home slightly buzzed on the champagne.

It doesn’t make sense though. The only explanation that I can come up with is that I might be still drunk and I’m hallucinating of some sort after all it was just yesterday that Jimin’s birthday made me think about us again.

I lock myself into the bathroom. Sighing in relief once I am able to get away from Jimin’s inquiring eyes. He looked so confused when I refused to kiss him on the lips. I always kissed him goodbye before I went to work when things were still good between us. I just don’t know what to make of things right now, I’m so confused. It doesn’t feel like a dream at all and Jimin acts like he’s my husband rather than my ex-husband who cheated on me.

I splash some water on my face to calm down my nerves and I gasp when I look at my reflection in the mirror. My hair, it’s long. I got rid of those long locks after our divorce was done, Jimin liked my hair like this, long and curly, so I decided to cut it short.

”Baby, did you bring your work home? I don’t remember seeing this old thing on our nightstand when we went to sleep.” Eyes widening I rip open the bathroom door startling Jimin as I grab the old watch out of his hands. The digits are frozen one at eight and the other at one. 18. 2018? Jimin catches my hand mid-air as I try to slap myself so I could make sure this is not a dream.

”Baby say something. You’re scaring me. Are you alright?” Jimin holds my hand gently thumbs rubbing my skin as his eyes express his worry. It’s been a while since he was so affectionate. He stopped caring for me after he found that girl. I let him pull me into a hug, I missed this. I missed him but this moment doesn’t change the fact that the Jimin I loved so much cheated on me.

I left to go to work earlier than I used to around this time and I know Jimin noticed. I told him to get some takeout for lunch too.

I worked on the clocks hoping that it will distract me but it just made me think of what happened this morning more. Doing it the second time around made the process easier, I knew what was wrong with the clocks before I get them into pieces. I even remembered the young couple who brought an expensive watch to get it more fitted to his arms and he accidentally left his bracelet on my working bench after trying on the watch to see it fits after the adjustments.

Jimin sulked a little after I denied his kisses but he didn’t force me and for that I was thankful. He nagged me even when we were surrounded by his father’s workers at the found raising event to tell him what made me ’mad’ at him because he wants to apologize properly if he did something wrong. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t just tell him he should apologize for something he will do in the future, it will just make me the weird one.

I was nervous to go home after the event because I remember how this night was supposed to end. My hand tightens around his arm when I see her approach us. I feel my stomach sink when she smiles at the both of us, introducing herself as Jimin’s coworker. I didn’t remember meeting her here but at that time I had no idea she’ll be the one who my husband cheats on me with. It was dark that day but I remember her blonde hair and her voice. I remember her moaning Jimin’s name.

”Y/N?” I snap my head towards the sound of his voice. He looks concerned it’s not the first time tonight that he had to repeat what he said. I feel sick, my body subconsciously leans on him to get a grip of reality.

I realised this is when it began. Her smile is anything but genuine as she fakes her concern, I can see the jealousy in her dark orbs as she watches my hand around my husband’s arm. She wanted him for herself all this time. She just doesn’t know yet that she succeeded a year after. A tear slid down my cheeks but I aggressively got rid of it before it could reach my chin. Jimin caged me between his strong arms drawing soothing circles onto my back but it doesn’t affect my body positively how it used to I cried harder inside his arms.

Jimin excused us and she relented even though it was clear as day that she wanted to send me daggers through her stare rather than her wishes for me to get better. The car ride was silent, he didn’t let go of my hand and I let him. I let this version of Jimin comfort me because he didn’t do anything wrong, not yet. He had no idea that this was our last happy years spent together before everything went downhill after that.

He held me in his arms.

[5th March 2019]

After my revisit of 2018, I realised a few things. Firstly, I can travel between time with that old watch that only seem to works for a short period of time until it stops at the year I want to visit. The second thing I learnt is that Jimin can be manipulated with the right words. I decided after that night I saw her face raging with malice and jealousy that I’ll find out what really had happened between them. I know Jimin loved me even though I had doubts about it after our divorce. I knew him well we spend so much time together as friends even before we started dating. However, I never thought he would go so low as to cheat on his wife.

He was always gentle and understanding with me. Accepting the fact that I didn’t want to have children. He loved them but accepted me for who I was and never questioned why I felt this way. He was a good man, a good husband.

So I decided to watch him from afar and when she thought no one was looking, she showed her teeth like a venomous snake planting ideas into Jimin’s head talking shit about me, twisting my actions and words; going as far as telling him she thinks I am cheating on him! I know those pictures were fake as I did no such thing. I was so in love with him I would never betray him like that.

Then I remembered his odd change in behaviour, how he treated our once lovemaking sessions as fucking. How he couldn’t look into my eyes while he buried his dick inside my cunt made sense in a way now.

He thought I was the one who played him. He let himself believe that I was late from our dinners because I was fucking someone behind his back and when I told him I’m not in the mood to have sex. He got even angrier he thought that if I lied to his face he will show me what pain feels like by fucking that snake in our guest bedroom. My head was swimming overwhelmed with this information.

The truth hurt like hell.

I thought I will feel somewhat better once I discovered the truth but I feel even shitter. Jimin believed her, he didn’t bother to ask me if I was indeed cheating on him but can I really blame him? I didn’t ask either when I suspected it. We let our insecurities and that jealous bitch stand in between our marriage making it crumble down to pieces. I was angry, raging as my hand shook with it and it led me back to that day it happened. It felt too late to fix things so I closed my eyes and turned the clock. Leaving everything behind. Once and for all.

There’s nothing left for me to change in our past, I can’t fix our past mistakes but maybe I could change things in the future. Starting with exposing that snake. I wasn’t even surprised to see her as the head of the newly developed department.

[11st April 2021]

Jimin took over the firm after his father fell ill as I got to know from her assistant. I could tell she was surprised to see my face but even more surprised to realise it’s not Jimin’s whereabouts that I want to know but rather hers.

I shouldn’t be this smug about the fact that he cut all ties with her after our divorce. Deep down he was still a good man who couldn’t believe the fact that he fucked someone else while his wife cried next door with just one thin wall separating them.

I pictured this moment in my head a lot after I came back from the past. I’m way past the hurt and anger that settled in my bones for a full year and even before that. Instead, I felt eerily calm for someone who’s here to put up a show for the employees. I don’t even care if they think I’m crazy because once I locate her in her cubicles and dig my hair into her scalp pulling her hair hard with my iron grip all I could feel is utter satisfaction.

”I hope you enjoyed your good fuck. Was it satisfying to make my husband a cheater? I bet it was. Did you think I will never find out that you fed him lies and spread rumours about me sleeping around with men?”

Even the security watched as I pulled her by the hair the commotion around us almost drowned out the crying noises she made because of the pain. I didn’t pull that hard though, I hate her with every fibre of my being but I’m not a malicious person like her. She would deserve worse than what I’m doing but I never want to go down to her level ever again so I let her go.

”How did you found out?” She looked pale as a ghost. I know she was scared she had every right to be because I’m sure I have that crazy look in my eyes.

”It doesn’t matter. What does matter, however, is that now I know what you did to him. All for what? Just to have him all to yourself? Look how that turned out for you.” The people around us fell silent that’s how I knew Jimin is here. So I took a step closer to her and smiled.

”I never cheated on him but you know this well. This is not even why I feel so angry. The reason why I want to rip your hair out right this instant is not because you spread lies and badmouthed me but because you made him a cheater.”

It’s his first time seeing me after our divorce but I’ve been seeing him these past weeks thanks to the old watch. This time around I was able to look into his eyes and see that boy I fell in love with. We went through so much together, maybe.

Maybe we can overcome this too.

©️ helenazbmrskai (Like and Reblog don’t repost!)

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leejeongz · 3 years

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cravity reaction to you giving them the silent treatment

🔅thank you for reading my work and following! and than you for requesting! i wrote this like giving them the silent treatment, as you can tell, because i’m not sure what other context you would ignore them in🥺 i hope you don’t mind! and not all of them are serious hehe🔅

serim:

reason for the silent treatment: you were jealous when you saw him talking to the stylists and sitting real close to them

he tried his damned hardest to not give in to you. this lasted for quite a while this time actually, an hour maybe? then he started feeling empty. he hadn’t hugged you or bugged you for a whole hour, even you were getting concerned at this point. he came over to you while you were washing your bowl and pan from lunch, standing behind you for a few seconds before deciding to poke your cheek. you tried to ignore him at first, then you tried swatting his hand away.

“i’m not moving it until you talk to me!” he exclaimed. you knew the annoying smile he’d have on his face right now that you couldn’t resist so you chose not to look at him, instead you concentrated on putting the wet dishes on the drying rack. “i can do this all day”

he really wasn’t lying, you wouldn’t put that past him, so you just chose to give up, it was easier than having a clingy serim around you all day. (you get that anyway but what can u do?)

“you should eat” you said quietly. serim smiled at you in response and removed his finger.

“you’re right, maybe i will go grab something with the stylists” he joked, risking another hour of the silent treatment. he was so lucky that you could take a joke.

allen:

reason for the silent treatment: he forgot your 1 year anniversary (this got a lil deep for some reason, kinda angsty, just a warning)

he started by giving you as much attention as possible. usually you’d be loving the skinship and cuddles, but right now you didn’t want to even see his face. you swatted his hands away and stormed off to your room. he sat back on the sofa, eyes and mouth both wide. he’d never seen you like this before. his head soon fell into his hands, which rested on his knees. once the first tear fell, it was soon followed by dozens more. it made him even weaker knowing you were probably crying too. he didn’t know whether to come to you or not but he decided to stay put for a little longer. after a few minutes, he saw your feet across the carpet and lifted his head, apologising profusely as he did so. you sat beside him, and looked at him, which he reciprocated almost immediately. he grabbed your hands instinctively but not before wiping a tear from your right cheek.

“do you care?” you asked.

“of course i care. i care about you, about us, i care a lot.” he pleaded, tears starting to burn at his cheeks.

“okay” you said, licking a tear from lips and nestling into his side.

he wrapped his arm around you and sniffled some more before asking if there was any way he could make it up to you.

jungmo:

reason for the silent treatment: you failed an exam and you think it’s because he kept distracting you while revising

he couldn’t help himself, he just HAD to follow you around like a lost puppy. he tried his best to apologise, knowing it was the easiest thing to do even if he wasn’t guilty, but it just made you ignore him even more, not even giving him the advantage of reading your face. honestly, his incessant following was cute, but he could never know that.

“y/n please” he begged from behind you as you made your way to the bathroom. “don’t make me come in there too” he tried to make light of the situation.

you turned and stood against the closed bathroom door, now looking at him from across the hallway. you raised your eyebrow and he started to talk once again.

“i didn’t realise what i was doing, i just wanted to spend time with you, i will never do it again, if i do you can shout at me, i’m kidding please don’t do that ,i would cry, i know you wouldn’t ever-“ you stopped him with a kiss. you hated how he had you WHIPPED for him, but you wouldn’t really have it any other way.

“i won’t you idiot, although i may accidentally purposely back my chair into you, gently of course” you joked “now can i please go in here… alone?”

woobin:

reason for the silent treatment: he used your toothbrush

“you changed yours to the exact same colour as mine, it was going to happen on day anyway” he announced, rolling his eyes while walking to the cupboard to get himself a different toothbrush. “where are they?” he shouted to you.

you chose not to respond and that’s when he knew he was currently experiencing the dreaded silent treatment. normally he’d be quite thankful for some peace and quiet but the circumstances weren’t great so...

“oh brilliant, how mature of you” he slammed the door to the cupboard shut, still being careful not to damage it though. “you know it’s not going to get you anywhere” he once again rolled his eyes. “i’m going to my room, see you at dinner, sweetheart”. and that’s exactly when you saw him next. he was so stubborn sometimes, you had to give in else you’d never talk to him again.

“here” you tossed him a new toothbrush while he was close to the sink.

“this is still the same colour th-“

“ITS ROMANTIC WOOBIN” you shouted.

“from one extreme to another, clearly” he laughed, throwing you the toothbrush back. “now how about we be romantic in that restaurant down the street?”

wonjin:

reason for the silent treatment: he ate without you

“i swear i won’t do it again” he pleaded in his final words before giving up and slumping his way to his room, leaving you cooking your meal for one.

you wouldn’t normally be this mad about him eating without you, you didn’t even live together, it was just that today you’d planned to have dinner together but you were an hour late due to traffic. surely he could have waited an extra 60 minutes, right?

wonjin threw himself on the bed, sulking for 5 seconds then convincing himself he was in the right all along and acting like nothing was wrong. he pulled out his phone and started playing a game, one that he knew he would spend hours on if he started playing it. half way through the first round, something clicked in his brain. why was he sitting here neglecting you when he owes an apology? he composed himself and made his way back out to the kitchen, ready to start his begging for forgiveness.

“okay so sometimes... sometimes you can be unreasonable” great start, you thought, rolling your eyes “but on this occasion, i think your reaction is justified. take as long as you want, i’ll be standing right here” he said, mimicking a “rooting in place” action by twisting his feet on the laminate flooring.

minhee:

reason for the silent treatment: he accidentally recycled a piece of your homework

“how was i supposed to know you needed this stupid map?” he questioned. but you didn’t respond. instead you just went to his room and sulked, in silence. he followed and stood in the doorway, firing questions at you for the next 5 minutes before huffing and leaving you to sulk alone. he knew he was the mature one here, but he still felt guilty for what he did so 10 minutes later he came back to you and tried again, this time calmer and more willing to listen.

“i can help you do it again” he insisted “but i’m not that great at drawing maps” he admitted. you turned away from him. he probably thought you were just continuing the silent treatment but really, you were trying your hardest not to laugh.

“you know i just printed that out right? i didn’t draw that” you whispered, giving in.

“are you saying i just endured the silent treatment for a map that took seconds to print out? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” he shouted jokingly, sitting at his computer and bringing up an identical map. “here, print.” he grabbed it off the printer and realised yet another issue “you also used MY printer ink. i should have give myself the silent treatment for wasting ink like that.”

hyeongjun:

reason for the silent treatment: he killed you first in among us

hyeongjun thought it was a joke at first, it was just a game after all it's not that serious.

“you can still do your ghost tasks” he mimicked.

you did NOT find this funny. he made you look like a fool in front of your friends, surely your boyfriend isn’t supposed to kill you first, you thought. you pressed the home button on your phone, automatically leaving the game, and turned your phone back to portrait. you scrolled through your home screens for a while, looking like you were doing something important in hopes it would make hyeongjun jealous but he was too engrossed in the game. it wasn’t until you threw your phone on the bed and got up that he realised you’d left.

“you left the game? why? oh you’re gonna get snacks? can you get me those chocolate jazzle things you bought for us please?” he asked, still engrossed in the game.

you rolled your eyes and let out a very loud “ugh” which he didn’t even bat an eyelid at. you returned with the chocolates in your hand which got his attention, but instead of handing them to him, you ate them and looked like you were enjoying them.

“i’m SO sorry i killed you y/n” he rolled his eyes as you did earlier, but you pretended to not hear him, just as he did.

this went on until he, as the imposter, lost the game, and you couldn’t help but laugh in his face.

taeyoung:

reason for the silent treatment: he laughed at you for getting scared during a horror movie

you hit his chest and got up in a huff. how dare he laugh at you when you were genuinely scared?! the sound of his laugh was always nice, always except now, it just annoyed you. you went to the fridge to grab some of his snacks, the first time you did this without politely asking for permission. he never minded that you wanted food, he wished you’d just get them yourself, you didn’t have to ask, what was his was yours, so you took advantage of that but it really didn’t feel right.

“hey the movie hasn’t finished yet!” he shouted, turning over and seeing you scan his fridge. “there’s nothing in there, i’m the only snack in this place” he said, flipping back over. “oh and you, of course”. you narrowed your eyes and bobbed your head sarcastically behind him, as if you were mimicking what he said. you sat back down again empty handed, this time sitting on the single chair that was far from him.

“oh what’s wrong? you think you’re strong enough to sit alone? you don’t need me anymore?” he laughed once again. you just concentrated on the screen, your heart beating faster than ever before, hoping no scares were coming up.

“okay okay i’ll stop. now please come over here and cuddle me because i think he’s gonna do something again and i don’t want you to be scared on your own.”

you contemplated his preposition for a little, the tv making your decision for you when the music started getting louder and you felt the need for someone’s arms around you.

seongmin:

reason for the silent treatment: he spent the whole of your day off napping

“what’s for dinner?” he asked sleepily. his eyes opened to your figure, stood over him, your arms were folded and lips were sealed shut in a sort of angry pout. “what?” he questioned.

you yanked you duvet from him and threw it on the floor now giving you the perfect opportunity to grab your teddy that he’d slept with and leave. but that boy was gripping on to your teddy for dear life it seemed, he wasn’t letting go. “what are you doing? i can’t explain if you won’t tell me what’s wrong. and i’m not giving up lolly llama until you tell me”.

“just give me the llama seongmin” you broke your silence.

“is it because i slept all day?” when the words left his mouth, you stopped fighting for the teddy, you stopped leaning over him, you stopped trying to hide what had been getting to you all day. “because if it is i’m sorry, i woke up today with a really bad headache and i didn’t want to worry you.” he pointed to the tablets and headache strips on the side.

“is it-” you paused to look at him “is it better now?” you asked, knowing the best treatment for a headache was sleep.

“a lot better” he smiled in your direction ��i am prepared to pull an all nighter with my favourite person now”

gifs aren’t mine

#cravity #cravity imagines #cravity reactions #serim #allen #jungmo #woobin #wonjin #minhee #hyeongjun #taeyoung #seongmin

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rvmmm21 · 3 years

Text

. you’re gonna spaghet it .

summary : a home-cooked meal and a baking show is too much to ask for. but only when the person asking is seungwan.

small note : i'm tentatively back. and here's the worse news. you get this pile of 'what-the-fic-is-this?!' before i start clonking you over the head with my leg of yandere ham.

think of it as your pre-christmas coal in your stocking.

(this sat in my drafts for so long its not even funny. if i had a cent for every second i spent thinking about whether i wanted this out here, i'd have accumulated enough for the plane ticket, the lawyers and the hospital fees to fly over to SM to clonk them myself.)

just for tumblr. if you want to read this but in pretty, it’s here.

tw : tickling, probably many grammar errors because i do not know how to write anymore, and my cretinous knowledge of how tv recordings work.

[irene x white-winged dove!wendy]

. . .

[6:15pm] A mischievous smile tugs at her lips when she sees how Seungwan struggles.

. . .

Bae Joohyun blithely watches her girlfriend titter around the kitchen preparing vegetables for the chopping board. When the sound of water beginning to boil reaches attentive ears, she secretly smiles at the melodious hum of a happy tune.

Everything is going as planned!

However.

Pangs of guilt are beginning to tweak at Joohyun’s conscience. Because what she really wants to do is not to be a good girlfriend and offer a hand at stirring the pot. She doesn’t even want to sit patiently and wait to hear Seungwan sing out for her when dinner’s ready.

No. Joohyun wants to play. And she knows who she wants to play with. Even though it’s going to be a complete setback to the lovely night she’s sure her Wannie has planned out for them.

It was Seungwan’s idea to cook tonight, then eat together while they watch their favourite TV program. Pfft, ‘their favourite’. What Joohyun really means is she’ll happily watch the season finale of the unorthodox cooking show her girlfriend is currently obsessed with.

. . .

“It gives me ideas, unnie,” Seungwan had explained when, about a week ago, Joohyun had walked in on a very experimental game of muffin-making.

The latest episode of “Baking for the Seoul” flashed through Joohyun’s memory.

“Don’t the ingredients have to be… in the bowl, though?” she asked incredulously, eyes searching for any part of their countertop that was actually visible.

“Hm?” Seungwan looked up, wiping the frosting off her nose… with the wrong hand.

Joohyun raised an eyebrow. “And which one are we putting in the oven, your sludge mix or you?” She inquired, now searching for any part of her girlfriend’s face – that was actually visible.

When the girl in question stayed concentrated, apprehension bubbled in her gut at the state of that exceptionally thick bowl of frosting. She surreptitiously strained to peer behind a thoroughly battered Seungwan, trying her hardest to not actually step foot into the kitchen.

Her girlfriend has this… ‘thing’ about work space. Especially the kitchen.

“Wan-ah,” Joohyun’s tone was equal parts warning and concern. “You didn’t get any on your wings, did you… that frosting looks too thick and last time you got yourself all mucky, remember we had to – ”

“It’s fine it’s fine, look! I’m being careful!” Seungwan quipped cheerfully, pirouetting round to give a worried Joohyun a glimpse of her wings which were nicely folded through each designated slit in the back of her sky-blue jumper.

The latter breathed a sigh of relief when she saw them; all white, fluffy and – most importantly – clean. She inwardly shuddered at how much of a nightmare that bath was. Thank god she’s behaving this time, she thought.

Although momentary relief didn’t stop her from contemplating an alternative method of keeping her mind at ease.

But the thought of having Seungwan wear her wing guards in their own home tugged at her unpleasantly. It was bad enough she had to have them on when they were out in potentially stressful situations. So she wouldn’t accidentally hurt herself or anyone around her… which had unfortunately happened once or twice before. It was clearly a burden to go about so obviously restricted, and despite Seungwan’s insistence on having grown used to them, Joohyun could always feel how upset she’d get whenever she was helping to do the clasps up behind her.

Definitely no wing guards then. And if that meant Joohyun would be bruising her knees for hours on end trying to keep dense baking mix and her messy baby bird two separate entities, then she’d happily do it.

Whatever kept Seungwan chirping.

Plus, her little chef looked damned determined, so she thought it appropriate to slip in one last passing remark before plucking a banana from the rack. “Yah, Wannie! Let me know if I’m gonna have to pick out birdie feathers from my cupcakes, okay?”

Seungwan grumbled something along the lines of a ‘hm, yeah whatever unnie’ in response.

Joohyun just laughed, heading back to their room and leaving the mastermind to her latest trial.

> > > > >

[7:00 p.m] Seungwan doesn't know which she finds more horrifying: what Joohyun intends to do to her or the fact that they're going to have to have take-away two nights in a row.

. . .

It should’ve been a simple mission.

Retrieve a fresh packet of spaghetti from the topmost shelf.

Her attempts are… laughable. She’s clearly doing her best.

Though she doesn't realise it yet, she’s still being watched. From the living room, Joohyun is watching. And she isn’t laughing. Hands ball into unconscious fists as a tight wave of numbness washes over her at how adorable Seungwan looks.

Just… like that: both wings tucked against her back, beautiful and neat as their owner. Strained muscles from reaching for something Joohyun already knows she’s going to have to help out with. And the tiny grunts when fingertips barely graze the edges of the packet.

Seungwan looks so soft, so frustrated. So vulnerable.

A small spike of inexplicable adrenaline leads Joohyun to head over to the huffing, moon-hopping girl.

She really needs to teach her little dove that being this cute comes with a price.

. . .

When a lithe body slides up behind her and presses against her back, Seungwan’s wings give a gentle flutter to mimic the stutter in her heart. She sighs affectionately at the pair of hands resting low on her hips.

The task is almost forgotten. Almost.

Unnie’s here to help, Seungwan thinks… ever so mistakenly.

“Hyun – ahh,” she’s interrupted by a slight shiver when the tip of her right wing is stroked between a finger and a thumb, delicately running across pure, downy feathers. A tried and tested (Bae Joohyun-certified) method of getting the girl absolutely weak.

Judging by the sound of strained breaths filling the space between them, it’s working.

Alas, dinner hasn’t been cooked, the sun’s setting and Seungwan’s time-management brain is screaming at her to get a move on. She points to the shelf, trying her hardest to block out the dangerously wonderful feeling. “Could you – could you please get that for me?”

Instead of complying, Joohyun chuckles, moving her hands from her back to glide them lightly up and down her sides. She isn’t surprised that Seungwan is already shivering, terribly overwhelmed from that alone.

Her smirk twitches when she feels the smaller girl squirm.

Seungwan has always been like this… so responsive, so susceptible to touch. Her touch. She’s jelly in her clutches, and even Joohyun has to admit that sometimes she really doesn’t deserve to be.

Sneaky hands grow bolder, finding their way under the hem of Seungwan’s fleecy jumper to continue tracing teasing lines against soft, sensitive skin.

“But it’s so cute to watch you struggle, baby,” Joohyun coos, beginning to rest more of her weight into Seungwan’s hips, keeping her trapped against the kitchen counter.

“U-unnie,” Seungwan tries, half-heartedly writhing against Joohyun’s hold, torn between wanting to cook dinner and wanting to be dinner. “Not – ah… not right now… it’s already late, we have to – ”

“And you smell so nice. Is this new shampoo?” Joohyun presses her nose into her nape, cutting her short, nuzzling into that pleasant fruity shampoo scent. She then pauses to nudge Seungwan’s legs suggestively ajar with her knee before leaning in to whisper into a ruby-tipped ear. “ Should I give you a reason to shower again later, hm?”

The younger’s eyes widen at the sinful implication.

Gosh, really? Right now? In the kitchen?

The kitchen. The place she cooks and handles food? (Sure, Joohyun will – once in a blue moon – dice the odd carrot or something, but that certainly does not give her the right to be making any unauthorised, hormonal messes for her to clean up). She must be off her rocker if she thinks Seungwan’s going to allow her precious workstation to be tainted by what she can already foresee to be copious amounts of bodily fluid just because someone can’t keep it in their pants.

It snaps something inside her. And – with all the strength neither of them knew she possessed – Seungwan wrenches out from under Joohyun’s weight with a firm “YAH! Stop fooling around!”, sending the older woman stumbling a few steps back.

For a second, they’re just as stunned and disbelieving as each other; Seungwan at her own apprently dormant Herculean strength –

– and Joohyun at the sheer audacity.

Then again, could this be any more timely?

God, Joohyun could kiss herself.

She straightens her blouse, putting on her best ‘I-can’t-believe-you’ve-done-this’ expression, and turning to lock the now slightly (and rightfully so) terrified-looking Seungwan with a stare. This is the best part. The part where she just glares, secretly gleeful as the other girl absolutely crumbles with apprehension.

The part where Seungwan thinks it’s her fault.

“Uh oh,” she tuts, sporting a grin to match that mischievous glint in her eyes, “someone’s in trouble, aren’t they?”

Seungwan is, of course, at a total loss for words, but she fumbles around anyway, desperate to justify whatever the hell she’s just done. It’s almost too much for Joohyun to handle, watching her dig her own grave like this.

Finally, Seungwan tries to back up, only to let out a sharp gasp when she trips over her own feet in her haste. She’s on the floor in seconds with Joohyun immediately following. There’s hardly a chance for her to get her bearings before she’s stuck on her back with a weight straddling her hips.

Seungwan goes wide-eyed. She might as well kiss the prospect of a candlelit dinner bye-bye… for tonight, at least.

“My clumsy, clumsy Wannie,” Joohyun mocks, holding herself above the smaller girl on her hands and purposely tangling their legs together. “Tonight was very thoughtful of you, baby, but I’m postponing our dinner plans to tomorrow night. I think we should order in, don’t you?”

“Ah unnie...” Seungwan groans, failing to ignore the way Joohyun’s predatory expression crayons her cheeks a soft pink, “we had take-away last night! I don’t wanna eat chicken aga – ”

“Then let’s get pizza,” Joohyun offers unhelpfully. She’s clearly got her own agenda that she’s determined to follow through with. “Okay? Hm, let’s see… you have to the count of five to agree with me or…”

She pauses to savour the panic in those deep brown eyes. “I’m going to have a very tired little birdie to take care of.”

That satisfied smirk leaves nothing to the imagination. Seungwan can practically read her fate on her girlfriend's rosy lips before they delve into hers, causing her eyes to roll back as they melt hotly into each other.

Seungwan hardly notices Joohyun lacing their fingers together until her eyes flutter open and she finds herself held down, arms stretched securely above her head. Joohyun adjusts her grip so she has both wrists pinned under one hand and the other free.

Ah, fuck, not again. Seungwan laughs emptily, fidgeting with high-strung premonition. When her one final struggle proves useless, she resorts to asserting herself with her voice. “Yah, unnie, I’m cooking tonight. Stop being annoying or you’re not getting fed.”

Ah, too easy.

Joohyun contemplates elaborating further. But she’s said enough. Besides, Seungwan doesn’t even deserve a response to that. That was a threat, wasn’t it? The prospect of starvation is a serious threat that should be promptly dealt with. And what do you do when you’re faced with a threat? Be that a burglar, a murderer or a very flustered Son Seungwan.

Tickle them. Obviously.

Joohyun leers over her, wiggling her fingers in anticipation. “Five…”

Seungwan’s eyes blow wide, and – with miserable luck – she renews her efforts at breaking free once again. “Hyun! Seriously?! You – I can’t believe you’re d – ”

“Four.”

“HYUN!”

“Three.”

“Okay! Okay! Let’s get pizza tonight! There, happy?! You can even choose the flav – ”

Seungwan hears a scoff above her. “Nope. Sorry Wannie. I made that decision. You’ve changed nothing.”

“YAH, YOU TRICKED ME YOU BIRDBRAIN! LET ME UP. YOU’RE SO DEAD!!”

One click of a tongue and Seungwan has never retracted any statement faster in her life.

“Okayokayokay! Sorry that was super mean! Please I – ”

“Two…”

Too late. She’s dead. She’s one hundred percent about to be on the list of the unfairly deceased.

Seungwan whines hopelessly. “Unnieeeee, you’re not being fair!”

It’s a ditch attempt, but one Seungwan doesn’t intend to miss. “OKAY SERIOUSLY I MEAN IT, GET OFF!”

Joohyun snickers. “One.”

With five fingers and wicked intent, she dives in.

. . .

A pair of pretty wings and an even prettier face make for an impossible choosing.

Even now, as she has Seungwan flat on her back with her eyes screwed shut and tears streaming down her face, she wants to flip her over so she can be blinded by white insulation. So those feathers can brush against her as she drives their owner to the brink of sanity.

She wants to feel her dove respond to what she does to her.

“Hyu – Hyun, p-please!”

Joohyun smirks down at her victim, who’s weakly pawing at the front of her blouse in what she can only assume is an attempt to get her to stop.

Pathetic.

Seungwan never fails to struggle. But then again, she never fails to forget that Joohyun, too, is much, much stronger than she looks.

All that tiresome squirming is easily dealt with. Only a fraction more pressure from Joohyun’s fingertips, and Seungwan’s arms fall to either side, limp and useless just like the rest of her. The only indication she’s even conscious is the violent trembling and – when she’s able to muster up the lung space – the occasional plea for mercy.

Even the laughter is silent.

Joohyun loves it this way. She loves having Seungwan all sweaty and flustered beyond belief; whenever and wherever she pleases, the younger girl is reduced to a quivering mess, trapped beneath her cruel dexterity.

So instead of getting the pasta boiling for a romantic dinner, Seungwan is graciously letting Joohyun have her one-sided fun while she’s forced to cough, splutter and laugh so hard her insides hurt. The reflex to try to buck Joohyun off or twist out of her clutches nips at her incessantly.

Although she really shouldn’t worm around like that, because it’s only making Joohyun’s job easier with how her jumper rides further and further up with every inch she wriggles away.

It almost makes Joohyun think her little songbird wants to be tickled.

“Aw,” she coos, playfully tweaking unintentionally exposed ribs. “So cute, Wannie. You want it here, too?”

Seungwan is breathless from the tickles before she’s even processed what Joohyun’s said. Those tantalising touches never linger on any part of her long enough for her to develop a resistance to them. Not that she could even if she tried. She’s as sensitive as Joohyun is skilled. And Joohyun strikes with dreadful precision, switching between light skittering and then deftly kneading her fingers into every spot that wrings Seungwan’s lungs for all they’re worth.

The smooth tile is cooling against her feathers, even if her wings are twitching beyond her control, trying their hardest to flip her over to give her some shot at escaping. She barely manages to crawl a few inches away before there’s a firm grip on her ankle, all but dragging her back because Joohyun sure as hell isn’t done with her that quickly.

Trying to get away? She cocks an eyebrow, scooting up to sit on Seungwan’s butt, pinning her hips to the floor.

“Oh no, my poor birdie’s flipped herself over,” she feigns concern, gently resting her palms on Seungwan’s wings, stilling their fluttering and holding them steady. The sight of them unfolded, outstretched from the struggle and completely exposed has Joohyun catching her bottom lip between her teeth. “Did you hurt yourself here, Wannie? You need unnie to kiss it better?”

Seungwan shrieks at a pitch that’d have every dog in the neighbourhood cowering when she feels a pair of pillowy lips settle on that excruciating spot right where the arch of her wings meet her back, where she absolutely cannot stand to be touched.

Even under normal circumstances, Seungwan had made her swear to never spring upon her like that. And of course, by virtue of that alone, it quickly became one of Joohyun’s favourite places to touch her.

Luckily she’s too distracted now to protest.

The ‘kisses’ aren’t any less torturous than ten fingers going all at once.

Poor, tired Seungwan hardly has the energy to writhe as Joohyun continues to press her hellish butterfly kisses all along the length of those oversensitive appendages, nosing into her feathers and ruffling them gently with her breath. The younger’s expression contorts into silent agony when she feels the fingers return, this time digging into her armpits.

Fresh tears well up in the corners of her eyes as she lays there, flailing like a fish out of water, face down with zero leverage to combat her girlfriend’s merciless onslaught.

She’s as defenceless as a turtle on its back (or rather, a dove on its tummy). Her squirms are getting weaker, the laughter more strained, but it’s all so rewarding to her loving tormentor.

Seungwan is kept laughing till the hollow ring of the doorbell sounds through their apartment.

. . .

[An hour post stuffed crust pepperoni pizza with extra cheese]

Joohyun enters their room just as her girlfriend is getting dressed for bed, freshly showered… again. She lets out a low chuckle when Seungwan catches sight of her in her peripheral vision and hastily pulls the loose necked pajama t-shirt over her head.

“How was dinner?” she asks, arms folded and leaning against the door.

Seungwan rolls her eyes and releases her hair from its bun. “Too much cheese. We need to drink lots of water tonight or we’ll be pufferfish in the morning.”

“Aw, is someone grumpy?” Joohyun gives an uncharacteristically exaggerated pout and the latter hides a shiver.

Good god, please someone save her.

“Unnie, of course I am. We’re going to eat reheated carbonara sauce tomorrow no thanks to you,” Seungwan bluntly retaliates. “You’ve had your fun, now can you stop talking to me like I’m five, please?”

Naturally, her request falls on selectively deafened ears.

“Yah, seriously,” she punctuates the severity by manually unfolding her trembling left wing and pointing at it. “Look. I’m still shaking because of you. Now you're done, I really – ”

That’s all the grumpy talk she’s allowed before Joohyun jump-tackles her onto their bed, pinning her to it and watching sheer panic etch into deep cinnamon irises.

“When did I say I was done?” she asks, suggestiveness tracing the edges of her tone. She hovers above her, bringing a hand up to cup her face.

Seungwan hisses a laugh. “Unnie, I have a limit too, you know. You can’t just keep finding excuses to tickle the crap out of – ”

She chokes on a gasp when she feels a hand – the one she’d been as good as tortured under not two hours ago – trailing down her stomach… slipping past the elastic of her panties and –

– it just reminds her why she’ll always let Joohyun have her fun.

Because no matter how much she laughs, screams, cries or begs, there’s always a reward. Much sweeter than anything Seungwan thinks she could ever bake. Their sex life is anything but stagnant, however this is, more often than not, Joohyun’s way of making it up to her afterwards (much to her approval).

Or maybe she just wants to drive Seungwan to the brink of losing her voice so she won't have to hear the nagging about the next episode of Baking For the Seoul.

Which, by the way, came out tonight. And Joohyun made them miss it. She had better be praying they’d be able to find a copy online somewhere.

Either way, it’s so much more gratifying after an eternity spent howling your lungs out on the floor. Seungwan’s full attention is lasered down to where Joohyun is now softly caressing her under the thin cotton barrier. The warm ache beginning to settle in between her thighs prompts her to try to squeeze them together, but Joohyun catches on and wedges her knees in between them, spreading her even further.

“Ah,” she raises a smug brow as she leans in to press her lips to the base of her ear. Her own eyes darken with lust in response to her little dove writhing helplessly below her. “Be a good girl for me, okay, baby?”

It’s late. Seungwan can barely keep her eyes open. Oh, but she aches so badly.

“Still grumpy, hm?” Joohyun murmurs questioningly, hot breath fanning over Seungwan’s neck and echoing goosebumps over her skin. She glances down at the bulge of her hand stretching the fabric, fingers already coated in slick. Her index finger rubs against Seungwan’s clit. “Feel good, Wannie?”

Hopelessly turned on, it’s all the other girl can do to whimper in agreement.

The pleasing sound of those soft whines escaping right into her ear turns Joohyun’s grin into something downright wolfish. She gives the swollen bud a few more leisurely strokes before retracting her hand completely, leaving Seungwan squirming in anticipation with whatever energy she has left.

Joohyun tastes the arousal on her fingertips. “Mm, I love how small you look right now, in my hands. So small and needy.”

Seungwan pants out a quiet “please, unnie”, clasping a shuddering hand over Joohyun’s and guiding it back down to the heat in her panties. She rolls her hips up into her palm, silently begging for her reward for being such a ‘willing’ participant in the one-sided games they played today.

After letting her gaze linger for a second, Joohyun shifts so she’s lying next to Seungwan. She slips her hand back in and squeezes firmly, revelling in the hoarseness of the girl’s voice. Velvety lips delicately map out her shoulder, and Seungwan has to fight to keep her eyes open to drink in the image of Joohyun pressed up against her, right hand cradled under her neck, propping her head up so they can both see the other one teasing her down her underwear.

It’s when Seungwan turns away to frustratedly pout at the suspense that Joohyun smiles and gives her a quick peck on the nose.

“I’ll continue if you promise not to pass out this time, okay baby bird?”

She bites back a snort watching Seungwan nod like she’s ever been able to stay awake after.

Then she has to bite back another because since when has she ever not continued even after being fed these empty promises, time and time again.

Anything to keep her precious Seungwan happy.

#red velvet #wenrene #wendy #irene #wing kinks are only valid if you exploit the crap out of them #so irene's got the right idea

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himbo-buckley · 4 years

Text

Intimacy, Sex and Buddie (better known as I have a lot of feelings about this show, some of which are related to the before mentioned topics)

I should preface this by saying this meta was supposed to be a lot shorter and only talk about how both Buck and Eddie use sex to distract their respective partners from whatever topic they actually wanted to talk about but since I decided to rewatch the show to make sure I don’t miss any such scenes, it has exploded a bit and taken on more topics

I should also preface this by saying that the whole of the 118 has some obvious intimacy / commitment issues except Bobby (which is sort of surprising) but *John Mulaney voice* we don’t have time to unpack all of that!

On another note I cuss a little in this Meta because my parents let me listen to TicTacToe as a small child and after that it never stuck that cussing is wrong so, uhm, parental supervision is advised or something?

This Meta will so far have three parts, one for each season and is organised by episode so you could technically follow along

Without further ado I present: Intimacy, Sex and the Buddie of it all, Season 1: (Better known as “Not a Sex Addict”)

Episode 1.01:

Buck, we meet first in the pilot and one of the first things we learn about him? That boy fucks! Like literally his second scene is him having sex in the firetruck, which in the episode is presented to us as his way of dealing with the stress of firefighting (it cuts from Bobby’s confession scene saying some firefighters are sex addicts to Buck racing the Brunette). Then later in this episode, between saving a baby, getting in a fight with Athena and not knowing who Rambo is, he fucks the snake horder and get’s himself fired for his trouble. He also tells Bobby he is a sex addict here.

Now you could easily read both those scenes as proving Buck’s statement or you can read it as him justifying his actions, which I think is what Bobby did, or you can fall in love with the cocky bastard and think there is more to it, which is obviously what I did. And also what I think this show wants you to do? Because in the same scene Buck gives the first of his many heartbreaking speeches about having nothing else besides being a firefighter and how that is the best part of him (or whatever, I’m combining the speeches, I didn’t rewatch that scene because it gives me too much second hand embaressment)

And let’s look at this statement and what we know about Buck by fast forwarding a bit, okay? Because we know virtually nothing about who Buck was prior to the Pilot. We know he spent a summer in South America as a bartender, we know he tried out for the Seals about a year ago and we know he’s been a firefighter for 3 months (meaning the first season is his probationary time the same way Season 2 is Eddie’s), so depending on how long firefighter training takes he probably has lived in LA for less than a year, meaning he probably hasn’t made too many meaningful connections yet and the 118 are really the closest thing to family he has there (a fact that if you fast forward again is sort of proven in canon if - if we take every word as being word of god - by Maddie saying „If our parents call“ in 2.01, implying Buck is probably not close to them) (he also tells Maddie „It was getting pretty lonely here“ in 2.01, so you know, point proven?)

Now I don’t think Buck is a sex addict after all. Yes, he is using sex to unwind (and good for him, at least he isn’t drinking or taking drugs, Bobby), but he is also using it to substitute actual intimacy, because that boy is fucking lonely.

Just look at the scene with the brunette, alright? After the act he asks her: „So can I have your actual number?“ and she says no, and he does this whole macho spiel about „the golden times“ or whatever, but come on, we know this is bull, right? Look at how earnest he looks when he asks! (and here I have to applaud 911 again, because the show only has one young conventionally attractive character at this point and instead of his character just being badass ladies man, but he is held accountable for his actions and the show went out of its way to point out how problematic his behaviour was, so kudos! I love you!)

Episode 1.02:

In this episode Buck loses two people and is understandably distraught. And Bobby comes to him in the locker room, to, as Buck thinks, express his disappointment, which is what Buck thinks he deserves, except Bobby is in full Dad-mode and just wants Buck to talk about it. Which Buck does almost imediately leading to us learning about the Seals and that our Buck has so many emotions and knows it and likes it (again, shoutout to the writers for having their young attractive Macho-dude cry in episode two! Ya’ll the real ones).

Now Bobby clearly didn’t see this coming and is like „Uhm, how about we talk to a professional about all that, I have my own shit, kiddo“ and then we get our first therapist scenes and look, while I do see where people are coming from, I do not consider this rape. I do however think it was a badly thought through scene and also an abuse of power and Autumn Reeser should not be allowed to work as a therapist again. The way this scene is shot and cut however makes it seem like Buck came onto her and did not regret what happened, so you know as the german saying goes: where there is no complaint there is no judge. (which does not mean I condone what happened, but, tbh, this is one of those scene where I feel the writers just did not think the implications through. Someone with a twitter go ask Tim Minear about it)

Anyways, let’s talk about everything before the sex because I think this is what’s relevant:

The scene begins with the therapist asking Buck if he is uncomfortable, he seems that way (and kudos to Oliver Stark for the way he acts this scene because we can truly feel everything Buck feels) and Buck saying his „I’m not really into feelings. I mean yeah feeling them, just not talking about them.“ after which the therapist throws some things at Buck to see what sticks (which is something therapists sometimes do in early sessions, just try to gauge a reaction, see where the no no - zones are, especially with people like Buck who are quote „not scared“. Like, he is so walled up already.)

And now comes the part that I’ll give you word for word, because this is what matters in this scene, okay?

T: „You lost somebody, that’s hard“

B: „Yeah but we lose people. At least that’s what everybody keeps telling me.“

T: „Was this your first time?“

B: „Well, I’ve had calls where it’s been to late but I’ve only been doing this not even 6 months. Now I just can’t shake the feeling that this one didn’t need to go down the way it did.“ (up until the second part Buck sits tall, then he leans forward, his voice becomes urgent, THIS is the important message)

T: “So do you think there is something you could have done differently?“

(close up to Bucks face looking distraught, ding ding, we have a winner!)

After this they cut away to Athena and when we come back Buck is crying and the therapist tries to explain why the guy might have died and then walks toward Buck and tells him how they’re actually here to talk about him and then Buck deflects, he tells her to call him Buck, they talk about facebook, scene change, they come back after Sex, Buck is all better.

(Slightly unrelated sidenote at this point we have seen Buck have sex 3 times and every single time it’s sitting on some chair with the girl on top, uhm, what’s up with that? (He’s a bottom))

But I truly think the important part is what I’ve highlighted, this is where she hit a nerve and sure, he let her finish and listened and cried, but Buck’s a multitasker, he was just waiting for his opening - which the therapist gave to him by sitting down across from him and touching him, so now Buck turns the tables on her and makes her uncomfortable - or: she struck a nerve and he deflects, so instead of the emotional vulnerability she wants from him, he gives her physical intimacy, probably aware that this way he will not have to come see her again (because isn’t that what all women do? Hi, Brunette from Episode 1).

And then the episode ends on the very relevant conversation were Abby asks him out and Buck says no because HE REALISED HE HAS SOME ISSUES WITH WOMEN AND INTIMACY!!! I love this show so much, you guys! Buck tells Abby he can’t go out with her because they’ll definitly have sex and he tells her about the therapist and Abby is all you wish and he tells her how much he likes her and how he has no one else in his life that make him feel good and it’s all cute and dorky and yes, sometimes I do find myself shipping them. A little.

Episode 1.03 has nothing of relevance as far as I recall so we ignore it.

Episode 1.04:

... also not that relevant except that little scene at the end that I thought was in Episode 5 titled: The moment I fell in love with this show! When Bobby says „help“ it gets me every time! I keep expecting him to not answer but he asks for help and I gasp. Every. Damn. Time.

Episode 1.05

... is when it get’s really interesting because this is when the Sex addict meets the women he has been emotionally intimate, which is, you know, the thing he’s sensitive about!

I really like how Buck is all in Protector-Mode and seems so competent up until when they’re in the car together and Abby starts to talk about them (him) not having wanted to meet and it hit’s him that uuups, this is the actual woman he has been talking to! A human being (and not just some voice on the phone he talks to) and an attractive one as it is (and boy do I love how dressed down Connie Brighton is most of the time? Look, she’s pretty and she’s not 25 and she looks it and that’s okay!) so again Buck deflects by making the whole exchange about Sex - you know, physical intimacy because he is scared of emotional intimacy. Which is what I have been trying to prove here.

Then they save that little girl and have the very sweet moment in the car were Buck is very vulnerable, though I think it’s mostly for Abby’s benefit? Because Buck is in protector mode and there is nothing Buck wouldn’t do to help someone else, even flay himself open. He’s just selfless like that.

And then they find Patricia and bring her home and he is very uncomfortable and then he says goodbye all sweet and Patricia tells him to be kind to Abby and Buck is already in so deep, so really someone should have taken the time to tell Abby to be kind and nice to this boy (if Buck gets another love interest I want someone to give them the shovel talk, mainly Hen or Eddie, possibly together, because this boy gives away too much of himself and it hurts me), but alas no one did, so Buck tries to protect himself by, you guessed it, talking about sex!

It really is a defense mechanism for him, which might prove that he came from a conservative background or might just not mean anything, besides that he is very comfortable with Sex and other people are not which is why he uses it to deflect. People generally don’t try to look to deep if you make them uncomfortable, which is generally Buck’s way of dealing with problems: he either pushes back and steamrolls over it or is it too loud and open about something, which keeps people from looking to deep (Season 3 is proof of that, the only person who sees through his act, I think, is Hen because she also uses false bravedo to deal with things. Eddie sees it too, but only after Buck explains it to him, because Eddie operates completely different - but that’s something I’ll talk more about later)

And then all of Bucks fears of people not liking him after seeing what’s underneath are proven right when, after spending a whole day with him, Abby tells him they shouldn’t see each other again because she too likes him and if they continue mistakes will be made (which is just her respecting Bucks wishes from 1.02 but also proves to Buck that no one can like him on a deeper level). She gives this very sweet speech about how good he makes her feel but if you look at Buck’s face it’s just sooo closed off. And then she does this very mean thing with the „do not fuck some tinder-girl“, which i find very hypocrit of her, because she basically told Buck she won’t give him more than what they currently have but also he’s not allowed to look somewhere else for it (although she is very right, Buck needs to learn to find validation in himself and not through other people, which is something he sorta did in Season 3? More on this later)

Which is why we get the phone sex scene at the end. Because at this point Buck has been emotionally intimate with this women and then he met her and he kept being emotionally intimate with him and she basically rejected him so Buck made it about physical intimacy. He rejected her back. Found a loophole. Pushed back.

And I know I’m ignoring the scene in between when he is all proud about not having sex with Abby, but yeah, he would have had if Abby let him so it doesn’t really count.

Side note: this whole Episode proves that Buck is not a sex addict - if he were we would have seen him maybe try and convince Abby or seen a scene of him struggeling with whether he should pick up another girl or something, but they didn’t. Nope, they gave up „Buck with Hen and Bobby - bonding time“.

Episode 1.06:

I dislike this one a lot because it calls the episode before a liar by having Abby go on a date with Buck, after saying they shouldn’t meet each other again. I actually checked IMDB to see if there was a christmas break between those episodes, but nope, they aired a week apart! (Also how everyone pushes Buck into doing Valentine’s day even though he doesn’t like it? Yeah, not on board.)

But you know what’s relevant af about this Episode? The scene between Bobby and Buck where Dad helps his son get ready. I truly think this scene, combined with his firing in 1.01 is what caused the shift into Buck 2.0.

Also canon yet again tells us that Buck is not in fact a sex addict but rather using sex to avoid real intimacy and then they have this bantery conversation about not being a dick by having sex on the first date and being a gentleman and I love how Peter and Oliver play off of each other here. This scene is so much fun to watch because they clearly had so much fun acting it.

We can basically jump over the rest of the episode, but I do want you to look at the scene between Bobby and Abby in the hospital for a moment because I 100% thought they were setting up a love triangle here? (Again, someone with Twitter ask Tim Minear)

Episode 1.07:

The actual time jump according to IMDB happens between those episodes (someone who watched Season 1 live please confirm) although in the story there isn’t - they just decided to air the Valentine’s episode in November and then come back in February to talk about the full moon - apparently.

Aside from that Buck is such an adorable dork in this episode which i truly think is why half this fandom is in love with him and some more scenes with Peter and Oliver that are just plain fun happen (and I love season 3 but I miss how much fun they got to have in Season 1). Also our first real bi!Buck sighting and the implication that Buck went from delivering Babys to delivering a tapeworm, only to go: I’m gonna have sex with my girlfriend now! And I honestly love him for that.

Other than that, not much to prove or disprove this meta except Buck being hesitant to go on another date and trying to explain away why he came to see Abby but her just cutting right through his bullshit.

Episode 1.08: not relevant

Episode 1.09:

Our second instance of Buck nearly dying. Buck’s „I don’t suppose you do a lot of pull ups“ kills me every time and Hen freaks out about it a little and he just loves it off. He is a true badass.

Also there is the Ballon scene which makes me mad, because Buck has every right to be upset about everything, even if none of it is Abby’s fault. I’m really up in the air about how I feel about the Bobby and Buck talk in the locker room because on the one hand side I do agree with everything Captain Dad says and I think this scene also is part of creating Buck 2.0 but on the other hand side he is kind of invalidating Buck’s feelings?

Anyways, Bobby tells him, that if Buck really likes Abby he needs to stop trying to feel like she needs saving and let her set the pace. I’m not saying it’s why Buck waited around so long for her in Season 2 but I do think Bobby basically telling him this is what a real man would do - the thing Buck wants so badly to be - plays a role. It’s too bad that while Buck is all in, Abby is not.

I’m also gonna put my clown shoes on real quick and say we get a nearly identical scene in 2.10, when Buck talks to Chimney about Eddie and Shannon. Make of that what you want.

Episode 1.10:

Buck identifies with the guy using him to cat fish girls because he understands his need for connection and intimacy. After all he did the same thing, just a different method.

Also Abby leaves.

There’s not more to say

So this is where Season 1 ends, with Buck aware that he was trying to substitute physical for emotional intimacy and trying to correct it and build a life with Abby - which did not work because Abby left.

But I just wanna mention real quick how much character development Buck has in such a short amount of time! It floors me every time. And while we all know he attributes this to Abby, it’s really just about Buck being Buck and he was already on his way to becoming this guy, simply because through his job and the firefam suddenly he got validation? I feel so proud. I really only wish Buck would finally come to this realisation himself or maybe someone would tell him this. He deserves it.

#evan buckley #buck meta #buddie meta #buck #911 meta #911 #911 fox #textpost #mine #season 1 #meta #my meta

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floodinginthegarden · 3 years

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INCEST'S WEIRD MAINSTAY IN OPERAS - RARE OPERA CLUB, VOL. 14 - FRANK MARTIN'S LE VIN HERBE

I’m not going to talk too much about this piece specifically. It was hard to really discern it’s function and meaning from the version I watched. This version staged the piece like an opera, even though it’s an oratorio, with instructions from Frank Martin for it not to be staged. The english translation also gave it a very stagnant and obvious feeling about it. The chorus spent the whole time describing the action, which in an oratorio is fine but in this staged context was not successful.

Okay, I said I wasn’t going to write about the performance so NOW I WILL NOT.

The piece is a telling of the Tristan and Isolde myth. Made famous by the Wagner opera (funnily enough, this weeks video essay is about the legacy and work of Wagner) this tale of star-crossed, accidental incestual love is one that has been kind of creepily obsessed over by composers over the years. Wagner not only portrays it in Tristan and Isolde but this unsuspecting sibling love also forms the relationship of Siglinde and Sigmund in Act I of Die Walkure in the Ring Cycle. Olivier Messiaen talked about the myth being influential on his early large scale work Turangalila Symphony, along with other early large works forming an interconnected trilogy. Hans Werner Henze wrote in the 1970s a large work for piano and orchestra called Tristan. And of course Debussy’s opera Pellease and Melisande is a retelling of the French version of the myth. Now that I list these composers and works, some of my favourites, I realise this myth has also creeped into many pop and art pop songs too, including a song by Patrick Wolf called Tristan, an artist I wrote my honours thesis on. It has been popularised and pretty much fetishised by Game of Thrones and other medieval knock-offs. It’s an easy taboo to tap into - it generates extreme reactions, yet still step-parent and step-brother/sister porn is often rated as the most searched on the internet.

What is the appeal of this myth (and incest in general)? In this myth the couple meet and have an immediate connection and sexual tension. These feelings are strangely familiar and welcoming. They twist and turn throughout each version, usually resulting in an eruption of physical love. It’s then usually revealed, or discovered they are brother and sister and madness ensues. This depiction of physical love isn’t something that is unusual in music, and the added mystery of the unknown origins of these familiar feelings paint the differing interpretations with intriguing feelings of lust, longing and guilt. Many of these works capture this feeling and essence, and I think that is what the composers are probably most drawn to - trying to describe in music the mysterious attraction between these two.

However, a major taboo is still explored by major composers in major works, often on stage and often produced in times more conservative to our own. Perhaps there is a weird, twisted, almost Freudian working out of these sorts of sexual feelings by composers, especially with many of these works coming in before or on the cusp of women’s suffrage and the eventual sexual revolution. I explore sex a lot in my work, it’s one of the main motivators of my work. I am especially interested in finding humane and genuine depictions of homosexual and non-binary love and sex in my music, to try and broaden and diversify the depictions of sex in media. However, these school-boyish obsessions of incest and confused, guilt laden medieval bonking have always felt unauthentic to me. Pelleas and Melsande for instance - I adore this opera. I find the music intoxicating, and when done properly Melisande has this mystery and grace about her that’s really intriguing. However the sort of feminine ambivalence of her, the way she’s depicted by Debussy as a sort of forlorn, distant, mysterious femme fatale has more often than not got me wanting to yell at the singers on stage in frustration. “JUST MAKE A DECISION” or “JUST ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS” or “JUST ASK WHO SHE IS. AND WHERE HAS SHE COME FROM” Often the women in these works are passive, and are usually won over by swash-buckling male bravado - he pulls a sword from a stone or a tree, or he kills his brothers, or finds a ring, or slays a bear and other such masculine, middle ages fare princes would get up to.

The inherent awkwardness of the love interest between these character always has me unconvinced. They always seem to be in love because of physical attraction and this “sense” of destiny. I think it would actually be more interesting to explore the political nature of men’s power over women in these times, rather then the old love at first site gag. One could argue it’s just an older style of story telling, and that this might be too revisionist and could end badly, but surely when Wagner or Debussy or Messiaen thought of reaching for these myths they would have in the back of their mind the fact these stories are kind of gross. Even for their time, they’re kind of yucky. Lindsay Ellis has some similar thought and discussions around the remake of Disney’s Beauty and Beast in this video, where she explores this idea of letting the myth be the myth, rather then to update the myth for our times.

Another example is Siglinde in Die Walkure - the tension of the first act is excellently done, but it’s always struct me as kind of awkward that she is literally living as a prisoner in this weird love triangle that somehow results in the phallic release of the sword from the tree and her running off with her brother. I can understand this sort of incest adoration in the 16th and 17th centuries, such as under the reign of Charles II, last Habsburg King of Spain. If you don’t know his story look it up now. One of my favourite party tricks is explaining that his mother is also his first cousin, his maternal grandmother is also his paternal aunty, his paternal grandmother is also his maternal great-aunt etc (see his family tree below). But these works are written in more modern times, and so for me, the incest side of things feels a little suss. They’re also often written in countries that were really conservative with laws, morals and religious beliefs that would have gone against depictions of incest. Clara Schumann said that Tristan was repulsive. Is old mate Dicky Wagner just vying for cheap reactions and scandal?

“Indeed some of the quotations from writers such as critic and later first Yale Professor of Music Gustave Stoeckel (who finds himself intoxicated by the Siegmund-Sieglinde duet while the music plays, only to feel guilty for that enjoyment of incest when the music ends). ”

What I’m getting at is that I can see why big artistic projects would want to depict and enshrine the political nature of incest in the middle ages and the renaissance - to show these highly inbred regents it is okay to be so genetically deformed - but in the works we’re talking about are far more modern. These characters are often depicted it in a way that is superhuman (in these depictions a Übermensch, chosen one type is born from the union of bro and sis), mystical and that there is some destiny at play with these two meeting and bonking. Sometimes it is something that is against the laws of natural, but often the lines are either blurred and it isn’t explicitly called out or it’s fantasised. There is always heavy helpings of destiny and magic to justify these relationships, and they’re always kings and queens, or hero’s or princes and have political influence.

But, how many dark ages royals do you know who accidentally lost a daughter and a son and they ended up being brought up by other factions, only one day to marry? I’m sorry I know these are myths, but they’re just implausible for me. I think it would make sense if these works came from an earlier time, where the political system enshrined incest more often, but many of these pieces are from the late 19th and early 20th centuries, very much in the modern time. Perhaps this resurgence of incest came from Queen Victoria and her system of marrying off her many children to various crown heads, causing a resurgence of incest among monarchs in the late 19th and early 20th centuries? And perhaps these works are an attempt to appease these political forces and give them reassurance that it’s okay, its right for the political stability and perhaps will give the Kaiser some super human powers? However Wagner’s opera pre-dates German unification and so this reappearance of wide spread incest at the highest levels of the political class.. Though, it was obviously more prevalent in society, presumably in conversation and had a very important geo-political ramifications on the growing Nation States, and so maybe were in the minds of people more then in the past?

Who thought incest could be so interesting?

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captainkippen · 4 years

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Can you do an uhhhhhhhhh..... Ambi+Milkshakes fic Thanks!

Milkshakes

The first time it happened, Andi thought she must be imagining things. She was working on a project for her fashion design class in a corner booth at The Spoon, having gotten fed up with Bex blasting ‘80s music too loud for her to concentrate at home. The milkshake appeared in front of her sometime between the first stitch of her embroidery for a new badge design and the moment she snapped back to reality an hour and half later because she needed to go to the bathroom. It sat there, in all its strawberry glory, while she stared at it for a moment wondering when on earth she’d ordered it. Had she been that focused that she didn’t remember having an entire conversation? Surely not.

When she looked over at the bar, Amber was wiping down the top and pointedly not looking at her. Interesting.

“I didn’t order this.”

The second time, Andi noticed. She was alone in the booth again, taking up a whole table with her for Life-Drawing spread out across its surface. Had it not been so empty in the diner she might have felt bad about it, but it was late and a Thursday so the place wasn’t exactly overwhelmed with customers. Besides, she reasoned with herself, she’d ordered enough fries over the past few hours to justify her being here. She’d probably stress-eaten her own weight in them by now.

“Must be a gift from your fairy godmother then,” Amber said airily, brushing past as if Andi hadn’t watched her put it down on the table as she’d sat up from retrieving a lost pencil from the floor only thirty seconds ago.

“Right,” she agreed, unsure of what else to say.

If she left a small sketch of Amber with wings and a little crown on a napkin for her to find after she left, well… it was only polite to say thank you somehow, wasn’t it?

The third time it was chocolate.

“We’re out of strawberry,” Amber said, giving no further explanation as she stalked back to the counter to grab a broom.

Andi watched her go, trying to ignore the way her mouth wanted to stretch into a pleased smile. It was another late evening, the diner practically empty again, with low sunlight creeping in at the edges of the windows. The jukebox was chugging out a quiet slew of Elvis songs from the corner and it was difficult not to notice the way Amber moved in time to the beat as she swept. Her hair bounced behind her, catching in the light, and before Andi even realised what she was doing she had another doodle in front of her. She sighed and tore the offending corner away from the rest of her work, leaving it behind as she packed up her things. She wondered if Amber would throw it away, if she’d thrown away the napkin, but the empty milkshake glass stared at her accusingly as if to say, “You know she won’t.”

She just wanted to know why.

This time the milkshake was waiting for her before she arrived. She’d headed for her usual booth, but seeing a glass on the table she assumed it was already taken and turned to sit elsewhere. Before she could, though, Amber appeared with an annoyed look.

“What are you doing?” She demanded.

“Um, sitting?” Andi supplied, awkwardly.

She pointed at the booth. “Your table is over there.”

“Isn’t it taken?”

“Nope,” Amber popped the P. “Hurry up and sit down, you're blocking the doorway.”

There was a little cherry on the top of this milkshake. And sprinkles. Andi left two sketches and with none of the work she had meant to do finished, daydreaming about blonde hair and hard blue eyes.

“Are we going to talk about this at some point?” Andi asked, giving the milkshake a pointed look. She was making bracelets today.

“Talk about what?” Amber replied, wiping the last edge of the table and walking away. Andi sighed.

There was a bracelet on Amber’s wrist today. It was blue and gold and had taken Andi two hours to get right. A little pendant with the letter ‘A’ engraved into the surface hung from the string. Andi hid her smile behind a menu as Amber put the milkshake down.

“What can I get you?”

“Fries? Please,” Andi asked. “And Baby Taters. Cyrus is meeting me.”

Amber flounced away without another word. Two minutes later, Cyrus slipped into the seat across from her and kicked at her ankle.

“You ordered without me?” He asked in mock outrage, nodding at the milkshake.

Andi shook her head. “No… well, yes. You’ve got Baby Taters coming. I didn’t order the drink.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, a clear question. She spilled everything, going quiet when Amber returned to dump their food on the table and waiting until she’d wandered back out of earshot to resume. When she was done Cyrus just stared at her, biting his lip like he was trying to hold back laughter.

“What?” She huffed.

“You’re being wooed,” he said. “Amber is wooing you.”

“Shut up,” Andi said, throwing a fry at him and pretending not to notice the way her stomach fluttered nervously at the idea. Cyrus just laughed.

The milkshake didn’t make it to the table’s surface before Andi spoke.

“Can I get an extra straw?”

“Why?”

“So we can share.”

Amber stared at her blankly. Andi shifted uncomfortably. Had she misstepped? She knew she shouldn’t have listened to Cyrus, God. He was too much of a romantic for his own good, and for hers apparently. Amber turned away without saying anything. Andi wanted to bang her head against the table. She was such an idiot, oh lord.

But then Amber was back. And there was a straw in her hand. She sat down across from Andi and plunged it into the milkshake, taking a long drink. Andi just grinned at her.

“Took you long enough,” Amber said.

She didn’t get any work done that night, but it was worth it for the half an hour of footsie and the date they’d arranged for next Saturday. Thank God for milkshakes.

#ambi #andi mack #my writing #sibling-of-t

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neganandblake · 5 years

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I think I liked you better when you didn’t have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 203 - Just one time

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she’s certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit….

Chapter 203 - Just one time

[With Blake just about conscious, a visit to Carson changes everything...]

----------------------------------------

To Blake the world was dark.

It felt now like she was floating in a world, half in consciousness, half in a distant dream-world.

Around her, she could hear movement...footsteps..and voices...all of them familiar, and yet for some reason she could not remember who they belonged to.

"I swear, she just collapsed-"

"BULLSHIT, when I find out what you've done to her, you spineless motherfu-"

"I swear to you, please, I didn't do anything, I wouldn't-"

Blake gave a frown, the voices far too loud, right at this moment.

The voices hushed suddenly, the shadow of a figure leaning in close shifting over her closed eyelids.

"Peaches?" came a low and gruff voice in her ear. "You hear me, Darlin'?"

Blake scrunched her brows further at the intrusion of her personal space.

"Keep the noise down…" she murmured, a small huff escaping her her lips, as a large hand brushed its way over her cheek.

"Blake," came the voice again, sounding like it was trying to coax her awake.

But, wait, why was she asleep? Wasn't it the middle of the day? Just a moment ago she had been out in the garden talking to Brandon.

Frowning deeply again, Blake pulled her thoughts back to the present, wincing a little as she blearily opened her eyes.

It took her a moment to focus, seeing the familiar face of Negan hovering over her.

"Negan?" the blonde woman croaked out.

A look of utter relief seemed to wash over the Saviour's face at her words, as Blake confused by what had happened pushed herself up onto her elbows looking around.

To her surprise she found herself in the rec room on the ground floor, lying across one of the squashy leather sofas.

Negan was standing before her, and just a little way behind him was Brandon who currently had both his arms twisted up behind his back by Dwight, who looked to be in the process of leading him off somewhere.

"What happened? What's going on?" Blake asked feeling herself panicking a little as her green eyes searched the room again. "Is Mia ok?"

Negan's brow at once furrowed as he cupped Blake's cheek.

"He kid's fine, Peaches. But you ain't," he muttered in a growling voice. "Brandon here says you just collapsed."

Negan's dark eyes searched hers.

"That what happened, Darlin'?" he continued flashing a deadly look back over his shoulder at the detained Brandon.. "'Cause if it ain't-"

But Blake shook her head.

"Brandon didn't do anything," she said honestly. "I-I don't know what happened, one minute we were talking, and the next minute.."

Blake trailed off, pulling herself up into a sitting position and shooing Negan's hand away.

"I'm fine," said reassured him. "I must have just not eaten enough today.

In all honesty Blake hadn't had much of an appetite of late, blanching at the mere sight of what Mia had on her plate most days.

She had probably just worked herself too hard in the garden on an empty stomach.

Negan opened his mouth to reply, but before he could say anything, the door was flung open and Dr Carson appeared carrying a black medical case, looking slightly harassed.

"You should all be giving her some space," Carson scolded, shoving past Negan and coming to stand beside Blake.

"I'm fine," Blake said, with a bemused smile.

But the doctor ignored her, feeling her forehead first then grasping up her wrist to feel her pulse.

"Don' listen to the goddamn martyr here, Doc," uttered Negan in a sarcastic voice. "She's too damn stubborn-"

Again Negan flashed a look at Brandon who was stood behind, watching the entire thing unfold with a worried sort of look upon his face.

"-an' too trustin' too."

Blake rolled her eyes, just as Carson spoke again, ignoring Negan's comment.

"You felt feverish at all? Nauseous maybe?" the doctor tried, but Blake merely shrugged.

"Not really," she mused. "I guess I've been off my food a little…"

From behind Carson, she saw Negan shift his weight between his feet and angle an eye at her looking mightily unimpressed by her statement.

"An' you don' think shit like that is important enough to tell me, Darlin'?!"

As much as Blake appreciated Negan's constant concern, she didn't think she had to tell him every little innocuous thing that happened to her. Right?

But deep down Blake knew that Negan's fretting over her health was likely justified.

He had told her very little about the death of his wife, but Blake knew that he was frightened that something like that would befall Blake too. And with little to no healthcare in this world, the outcome of a disease like that would most certainly be the same.

With a soft sigh, Blake's eyes met with Negan's, offering him a silent look of comfort.

She was fine. This was definitely nothing serious.

"You can let Brandon go, Negan," the blonde said gently. "He didn't do anything."

Blake looked to Brandon, her gaze meeting with his. She hadn't forgotten their conversation right before she had passed out.

Everything was out in the open now. The truth about David and what he had done.

She wondered now whether Brandon would still leave. Go to the outposts perhaps.

After a moment the blonde woman, still full of guilt, dropped her gaze back to Carson, as the doctor scrutinised her further, shining a light into each of her eyes in turn.

"Not until I'm fuckin' certain this asshole ain't responsible for any of this, Peaches," Negan bit. "If he's anythin' like his damn brother you know he's capable of that shit."

Blake pursed her lips, not giving a reply, as Carson sat back once more.

"Blake, can I see you in private for a sec, there's just a quick test I want to run," the doctor said in a serious voice, reaching into the black bag beside him.

Blake was still for a moment before nodding.

"Whatever test you need her to do, Doc," Negan said in a low voice. "I'm gonna be there too, we clear."

Blake huffed at the Saviour's persistence. He really wasn't going to let up was he?

Negan right now had his chest puffed out and his lips fixed into a firm line like some sort of alpha lion protecting his pride.

"Well if you want to watch Blake here, pee into a cup, by all means come along," uttered Carson in a curt tone, pulling a plastic cup from his bag and handling it to the blonde woman, before getting to his feet, heading out of the room.

And with a smirk twitching its way onto her lips, Blake followed, getting to her feet too and heading off toward the door after Carson.

She heard Negan give a grumble, but thankfully he didn't follow.

-----------------------------------

Not even five minutes later and Blake was sat on a gurney in the medical room down the hall with a pot of warm, pale yellow liquid clasped between both hands, swinging her legs impatiently.

She watched a silent Carson, glide over to her on his swivel chair and take the cup from her grasp before sliding back over to his desk, searching in his desktop drawers for something.

"I actually feel fine," she said with a smile and a half laugh.

And she did. In fact, Blake felt great. No longer dizzy or light headed, she felt bright and bubbly, raring to go and get out of here as soon as she could.

But Carson just ignored her, not turning around from whatever he was doing in the far corner of the room, much to Blake's irritation.

"I don't think there's any point in fussing-" she said again with a forced laugh, craning her neck to see what Carson was doing.

But the doctor cut over her before she could say another word, cutting her laughter short, allowing it to die rather abruptly.

"How often are you and Negan having sex?"

Blake blinked, her smile falling from her face and she frowned, looking a little confused at his question.

"I...errr…quite often...I...uh...I don't know...every other night maybe...sometimes more I suppose…" she said, swallowing. "Why?"

Her and Negan's sex life had always been good. Of course things were of course far more difficult with Mia around these days, but they still managed, still both very obviously infatuated with one another.

"And you're taking precautions?"

Blake immediately felt her cheeks turn scarlet, feeling like a schoolgirl being lectured about safe sex by a teacher.

"I...yeah…" she managed to mumble out, feeling all of a sudden very worried about the reasoning behind Carson's questioning.

After what had happened, after the loss of their baby, Blake had ensured, over the last few months, that she and Negan were always careful. But with no birth control pills available, the pair had taken to using condoms. And although Negan had huffed and complained, he had of course obliged Blake's wishes. So yes, they had been taking precautions. Blake ensuring they did this time.

"W-Why?" she pressed once more. "Is there something the matter?"

Carson, who still had his back to her, spoke again.

"No slip-ups?"

Blake frowned at this, a little affronted that Carson would accuse them of being so irresponsible, before she suddenly remembered a night just a few weeks ago, neither of their faults of course, where their condom had split.

But that had just been one time.

One little time.

Blake shook her head, wishing so desperately for Carson to turn around, her heart beginning to thud in her chest.

"Why?" she said, speaking slowly, her voice sounding a little hoarse now in the quiet of the room.

And the blonde woman could only watch as the doctor swung around in his chair to face Blake finally, offering her a sympathetic look.

"Look I know you might not want to hear this..." he said, giving a small apologetic sigh, looking down at the thin and coloured paper strip in his hand. "...but you're pregnant, Blake."

------------------------------------------

So uh...yeah... :)

If you’d like to be tagged or untagged let me know.

#negan #twd #The Walking Dead #negan twd #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan fic #negan the walking dead #jdm #negan oc #negan story #negan fluff #daddy negan #twd fic #negan and blake

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lemonietrinket · 4 years

Text

i have a friend he is called Leg i was feeling down and he wanted to cheer me up and so, bexo was born

i sent him a photo of exo and he got to work with ‘guessing’ what they’re like it took off, with some.... surprisingly deep lore (with some fanfiction tones too which is... really weird.... he is the equivalent of a local ..?), and i think its hilarious so im going to make you read it all too

he knows literally nothing, especially about exo, and so he is completely making these ‘guesses’ insert: ‘characters’ from the photo alone (hence this is all done in lighthearted tone with no offence intended)

alas here is the deep lore that is the first part (?) of BootLeg (?)

~~~

BEXO

Lineup (from left to right): Paul, Ryan, Jayson, Daniel, Terrance, Brayden, Hamish, Lazarus/Gunther

Paul (Chanyeol)

hates that hes called paul

always trying to act like hes not a paul

if he were a spice he would be flour

summary comment: “it says ‘dude’ on his jacket like c’mon. hes trying so hard to not be a paul and its just not working out for him, lets me honest. but yeah idk what else to say about paul really. because he is fairly plain deep down”

Ryan (Kyungsoo)

hes the only one that thinks hes cool

everyone else just keeps him around to laugh at how short he is

only ever finds out about 50% of the parties

summary comment: “hes the guy where like everyone will be just chilling out and then he’ll like throw something in a bin from across the room and go mad about it. and people are kind of sick of it but not enough to tell him to stop”

Jayson (Kai)

"this fucker is the kid whose parents bought him a ps4 and let him play 18s while everyone else was still on pokemon and wii sports”

never stopped flexing on everyone in school

“nobody liked him but some people decided to hang out with him for the clout and its still true”

“like the ringleader but people really just like the vibes he gives them”

summary comment: “im trying to think of a name but all i know for sure is that its not spelled the normal way” later “JAYSON”

Daniel (Suho)

his mum always said he was cool so he just went with it

his dad is a painter “idk why thats relevant but its just a fact”

wanted to be a baker

pleasant if you catch him by himself but more cold and a dick when with “the crew”

bffs with paul since childhood and kept pushing each other until they were in way over their heads

in an alternate au they would be florists

and leg says he knows nothing of fanfiction

daniel is deep with the kpop now, and despite his true nature, manages to keep up appearances much better than say paul

summary comment: “sometimes they sneak away for a picnic”

Terrance (Baekhyun)

always was the smartest but few actually knew because hes really quiet

despite seating plans in school he was somehow always in the back corner

“someone is pretty sure they saw him in a field surrounded by miscellaneous vegetables and dead rats once but it seems to strange for even them to believe”

nobody in the group knows his last name and no one is going to ask

they pretend theyre not scared of him but tbh he can probably smell fear

can also teleport probably so theres no point running. root vegetables only slow him down.

summary content: “all i know is that if i wasn’t fated to die at the paws of your cat then terrance would get me for sure”

Brayden (Xiumin)

has a side gig as a drag queen

“he loves it, but kpop makes him more money. but that money lets him improve his drag. so he sees it as a really good cycle”

he was the one that chose the “black & white checkerboard thing going on [in the photo]”

Paul went with it because he thought it would make him cool

nobody knows why terrance went along with it and it will remain a mystery

“brayden actually auditioned for a girl group while in drag

and was accepted

...but then he realised the time commitment and so bailed after their debut

people have speculated about That MV™ but nothing has been confirmed”

summary comment: “besides he does like the kpop too. he just honestly loves being worshipped”

Hamish (Chen)

was going to be a builder because his dad is in construction

he often worked with daniels dad weirdly

“small world”

the two dont know it yet but they will find out and it will be a “sweet bonding moment”

he is mostly bald

“everyone really likes him so they keep around and go through the trouble of using photoshop and cgi hair in mvs”

they once did an anonymous vote for who their favourite person in the group was

paul & daniel voted for each other

i cant believe hes actually got a ship going in a fake ‘parody’ kpop group i cant

ryan voted for jayson because he thought everyone else would

and everyone else voted for hamish

well there was one vote that was blank everyone knows whose it was but like... you think they were going to bring it up?

hamish voted for paul bc he felt bad for him

the main problem is the fact hes allergic to wigs

this means that he has been “sick” for every live show ever, bar once

as in his first one

the one where he realised hes allergic to wigs

didnt go well

summary comment: “his hair looks photoshopped which means it obviously is”

Lazarus/Gunther (Sehun)

he called himself lazarus bc he thought it sounded cool

nobody knows his real name—meaning: nobody as told him that everyone knows his real name

he joined bexo late and really wants to be considered just like everyone else

kind of the errand boy, nobody has made a coffee since he joined the group

he is genuinely cooler than some of the others but no one takes him seriously

partly because of ‘gunther’

also because no one has seen him in a tshirt that doesnt say lazarus on it

super confident, not at all justified

summary comment: “the reason he is positioned like that [in the photo] is because hamish’s fly was undone and it got stuck when he tried to zip it up, so they covered it up with gunther. he was told to do it because it would make him look cool. so he didnt have a clue”

~~~

please spare my soul and lmk if leg is cancelled

(i realised too late that there was no lay :(( but tbh its probably better off that way lmao he doesnt have to suffer)

#exo #exo crack #getting locals to name exo members #dumb kpop #leg #bootleg #bexo #bootleg exo #exo meme #locals and kpop #friend naming kpop idols #friend naming exo #tw cussing #tw reference to dead animals #tw dark humour #parody kpop #kpop parody

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dongyucks · 5 years

Text

Cut like knives - Park Jisung

It’s officially angst hours for me seeing as it’s rainy and fricKIN COLD. it’s legit supposed to be spring and it’s colder right now than it was in winter, im seething. Anyways, I hope you enjoy loves!

You didn’t realise when he’d first talked to you, with that shy smile and heavy blush, that he’d end up meaning so much to you. That gentle purple hair you didn’t realise you’d come to love, the deep voice that made you smile every time you heard it. He’d come into your life so suddenly, yet he quickly became everything you wanted in it. Park Jisung and his god damn smile.

It was at the end of year bomb fire that he’d first talked to you. You didn’t actually know why you went, seeing as you didn’t like the atmosphere of the event nor did you have any friends begging you to come, you just felt socially obligated with everyone talking it up so much as it neared. You were doing exactly what you thought you’d be doing, sitting off to the side with the bottle of water you’d bought yourself as you watched everyone interact and make new memories. It was quite nice really, but the things they were up to just weren’t your idea of fun.

He had come up slowly, edging closer from where he stood off to the side watching the same people you were, except he knew the personally. Jaemin had Renjun over his shoulder, threatening to throw him into the ocean if he didn’t stop talking about aliens or something. By the time Jisung actually took a seat next to you he had been edging closer for about 5 minutes, all of which you were painstakingly aware of. He had a heavy blush on his cheeks and you still weren’t entirely if you were the cause or if it was the liquid that swirled in his cup. A shy smile was playing on his lips as he fiddled with his hands, brain seemingly in full swing despite his lack of words.

“You looked lonely” His tone was harsh, and you couldn’t help but smile at what he had eventually managed to spit out, Jisung however was quick to start rapidly apologising after realising he had accidentally been a little too up front for a first introduction. You still teased him about that, his failed attempt at small talk.

“I’m not, but thanks” Jisung seemed to let out what might’ve been the heaviest sigh you’d ever heard at your humorous response, eyes crinkling slightly as he smiled at you.

“Not a people person?” He raised his eyebrow while waiting for your response, taking a sip from his cup once more.

“Not in the slightest” He laughed at that, taking another small sip before lowering his cup and casting his gaze back to where Renjun was now trying to beat up Jaemin with no avail.

“Not my thing either” You barely managed to pry your eyes from the chaos in the white water, but you were glad you did. The fire seemed to light up Jisung’s face in a way that made him look angelic, and it was the first time you felt that little spark he always seemed to give you.

You wouldn’t have called him a friend the day after the bomb fire, but definitely a close acquaintance. You had spent the night by each other’s sides, talking as only the stars listened in.

He started waving to you in the halls and you started smiling at him in physics class, but you never really seemed to run into each other too often. It was a house party you’d next met up. Jisung had invited you actually, his excuse being that it was at Jeno’s and he had an odd number off friends that were all too extroverted for him. You knew it was a lie, Chenle would never leave Jisung alone, but for some reason you went anyway, despite hating parties and people.

You had spent a little while just standing off against a wall when you’d arrived, unsure of where to even find Jisung. Eventually you got sick off the noise and headed to the kitchen, seeing none other than Chenle pouring himself a drink. He smiled at you, pouring you one too without asking. It tasted horrible but you weren’t going to tell the poor boy that.

“If you’re looking for Jisung he’s on the balcony upstairs” Chenle winked at you as he walked past, seemingly misunderstanding why his best friend had been looking for you all evening.

So, you took your drink from hell and went upstairs, finding the balcony after finding a rather disturbing activity in one of the bedrooms. You stopped at the door to the balcony for just a second, taking note of way the wind was blowing through Jisung’s light purple locks, tousling them as it lifted from his forehead. You had to say, he looked even more angelic under the moonlight than by he had by the fire.

You had eventually opened the door after spending a small moment admiring the boy. He turned to you, smiling once he recognised you. He smelt lightly off alcohol, but you just assumed he had probably had one or two of Chenle’s concoctions himself.

“I was worried you weren’t gonna show” Jisung patted the ground next to him watching as you took a seat and placed your cup next to his. A spark of recognition fluttered across his eyes as he looked at the drink, probably knowing exactly who’d poured it for you.

“I came a while ago, just didn’t know where to find you” Jisung let out a little laugh at that, the one he does where it’s almost inaudible and breathy. It was your favourite, because he only did that when you were having your late-night chats that meant so much to the both of you.

“Did miss anti-social actually enjoy the party then?” He exaggerated his surprise, knowing full well you most certainly did not.

“Oh yeah, me and the wall in the living room were all over each other” You let out a stifled giggle as Jisung shot you an overly surprised expression, mouth wide as he laughed a little. He scanned you for a second before taking your phone from your jacket pocket and giving it to you to unlock. You shot him questioning glance as you did so, watching as he fiddled before typing something in and handing it back to you.

“So you can text me next time instead of going steady with the wall” You laughed when you looked at his name, hitting his arm as you did. He’d saved his number under ‘only friend <3’.

“You’re actually a rat Jisung” Your shared laughter was loud as he pulled out his own phone this time.

“Okay but at least call me so I have your number too,” You did, watching as he smiled while adding you as a contact. “I’m setting your name as Bingo boy”

You couldn’t help the little scoff that cam out when he said that, his smile evil. “Why?”

“You seem like you’d go play bingo at a retirement village in your free time”

“I’m literally never coming to a party with you again Jisung.”

You had lied, because the weekend after you found yourself walking through the door of yet another party looking for Jisung. You weren’t sure why you kept going to these parties just for Jisung, but for some reason you didn’t mind that you couldn’t justify it. It was an adventure, and god knows you needed one in your boring life.

You hadn’t stayed long at that one though. They had started playing spin the bottle and you’d shot Jisung the ‘I’m leaving look’ to which he laughed and walked across the circle to you, following you out the door.

“You don’t have to leave to Ji” You didn’t turn to look at him, just kept walking as he laughed.

“I’ll drive you home. I purposely didn’t drink tonight”

For some reason seeing Jisung get behind the wheel of a car was terrifying, despite the fact he was indeed legally allowed to. Of course, being the person you were you had jokingly made him prove he was sober, which he did with laughter and no complaints. By the time you were actually driving in Jisung’s beat up little car, his hand on the gear stick as you chatted away, you found yourself not wanting to ask him if he knew where had was going. You knew he didn’t, he knew he didn’t, you both just wanted to keep talking. So, you just kept driving. Eventually you stopped at a park, lying now on the bonnet of his car.

The conversation flowed as it always did, but when silence feel this time you were left with the genuine silence instead of the background noise of party goers. That’s when Jisung sprung an interesting question.

“Don’t you feel lonely living in your own little world?”

“Don’t you feel powerless living in other people’s?”

“Touché,” Jisung mused, his voice slowing and lowering in pitch as he mumbled one more. “Touché”

You let out a sigh, deciding that maybe, despite the fact you didn’t really know this boy all too well besides the odd party conversation and all the dumb texts, he was a good enough person to actually open up to. “Sometimes. Sometimes it really does get lonely and I just look around and wonder why I never tried harder to make more friends, genuine friends. But mostly its fine, actually. I prefer the life of solitude, because the less people know you the less they can hurt you”

“You’re braver than you think you are you know, y/n” You turned to the boy, catching his gaze and holding it. Neither of you spoke then, just letting the silence say everything you needed to. It only broke when Jisung took in a little breath and moved closer, his face nearing yours. It continued to do so until you were milometers apart, both unsure and nervous. Maybe it was a spur of the moment thing you’d regret later, but with the feelings you got with every little text he sent, you doubted it.

“Can I kiss you?” His voice was quiet, gentle as his breathe feathered across your face. With a small nod the distance between you closed, his lips on yours in a moment neither of you had yet processed. It felt different, but it felt right. It really felt right.

It no longer took a party for the two of you to meet up after that. A simple text and you’d be in his passenger seat again, chatting as you drove. Sometimes you went to get food and sometimes you ended just kissing one another as Jisung’s dumb playlist played in the background. It was good, it was everything you had ever imagined.

He’d introduced you to his friends one day after you’d run into them while getting food. They were nicer than you thought they’d be, just as crazy as you’d predicted though. By the end of the hour Mark had Donghyuck in a headlock and Jeno looked about ready to straight up murder Jisung. You’d really enjoyed it though, it made you feel like you were a part of their friendship, a part of something larger than yourself for once.

You were changing, and it seemed to be for the better. People became easier to deal with, friends became easier to make. You weren’t as scared when you went out to social events and you found yourself more involved and having far more fun than you ever thought possible.

Jisung was changing too. He seemed a little less shy, a little more confident. But with the good changes came the bad. The little good morning texts stopped coming, the 3am food runs stopped, all the nice innocent factors seemed to slowly leave, leaving you only getting texts when Jisung was replying to you or wanted to go for a drive. But a drive no longer meant lying on the hood of his car and talking, it no longer meant belting out high school musical songs, it was only making out with that dumb music.

It didn’t feel right anymore. So, you texted Jisung, and he responded as he always did. It was about 20 minutes later that he pulled up outside your house and you took your regular spot in his passenger side. It didn’t feel the same though, there was an atmosphere you didn’t like that seemed to choke the both of you.

It was already dark outside, the stars beginning to start their beautiful display of colour, your favourite sight by far. When Jisung pulled into a parking space at the edge of the park you’d first gone to, it felt like you’d done a full loop. It felt horrible, because you knew you still loved that dumb boy and his stupid shy smile and heavy blush. You loved him with everything you had, and you had opened up to him, your first real friend and your first lover.

“You haven’t been yourself recently” Your voice wasn’t confident or happy like it usually was, it was cold and quiet, barely audible. Jisung heard it though, and his lips seemed to pull into a tight frown almost immediately.

“Haven’t I?” He wasn’t asking you, nor was he asking himself. You both already knew the answer, it’s just that neither of you wanted an answer as to why.

You took in a deep breath, the heavy atmosphere becoming more and more choking as you gathered your words.

“Jisung,” It sounded foreign to both of you, seeing as you always called him Ji now, but he still hummed in acknowledgement, “If you’ve fallen out of love please just tell me, don’t make me keep loving you if this is going nowhere”

Jisung sighed, his breathing unsteady and light. “I haven’t fallen out of love, Y/n” He turned in his seat so he could look at you, hand on your knee as he spoke. “I still love you, I just,”

Jisung stopped, unsure of how to say what was on his mind. “I just love her too”

Five little words, just five little words that sent your heart plummeting. Who was she? Why was she so much more than you that he could lose his affections so quickly?

“Take me home” Your tone was uncharacteristically cold, sending goose bumps along the boy’s arms as he moved to start the car. He didn’t have a right to refuse your request, not after what he had said.

The ride was sickeningly quiet, the sound of the engine spluttering along the empty road as you neared your house. You had never been so glad to see the familiar neighbourhood. It was then Jisung tried to speak up, but nothing he could say would change your mind. You weren’t okay with being loved by someone who loved another, nor could you love someone who loved another. The second he spoke those words into existence it was over, you both knew that.

“Just, just hear me out” Jisung’s tone was desperate but it fell on deaf ears.

“Give me one single fucking reason I should” Jisung opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. Nothing seemed like a reasonable reason, so when he pulled up next to your house he desperately flicked the locks, wanting just a second more.

“Just please don’t lock yourself in your room” You scoffed, unlocking your door and swinging it open as you spoke.

“Don’t act like you care. You don’t care, nobody cares” You stood up, not look back at Jisung as you muttered your last few words for him to hear. “Just leave”

You walked back inside, the hot tears trailing down your freezing cheeks as you curled up in your bed, still clothed and hopeless. Jisung’s car was still outside. It took about ten minutes for you to hear the engine roar to life and him drive off, but you didn’t want to think why.

Monday rolled around way too quickly, and you were not the least bit excited to see the boy that simultaneously held your heart in one hand and another girls in his other. Sure enough, there she was. You knew her, and you suddenly knew why he chose her over you. They were a far better match, but never the less the pain only multiplied no matter how much you tried to avoid it.

In the end all you could do was forget. Forget the late night talks and the sparks of joy he gave you. Forget the newfound friendships and the progress you had made in yourself. You were right in the beginning after all, opening up to people will only get you hurt in the end.

All you could do was forget Park Jisung, because the memories cut like knives.

#Park Jisung #Jisung #NCT #NCT Dream #NCT imagines #NCT Dream imagines #nct dream scenario #na jaemin #lee jeno #huang renjun #lee haechan #zhong chenle #nct dream angst #angst #nct dream fluff #sorry if this is trash lol

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beeblackburn · 4 years

Text

Pretender Reads A Little Hatred, Part I, Chapter Five

If anyone would like to publicly hang me for posting more frequently after months since the first read-through, feel free! Goes without saying spoilers ahead for the entirety of The First Law works beyond the keep reading. Read at your own risk.

Chapter Title: A Little Public Hanging Point-of-View: Crown Prince Orso

As a forewarning, I just want to say this: I hate privileged royal characters. I do, I really do! They always end up as some form of ineffectual, despite being in high positions, spoiled whiners who complain about how hard their lives are, despite having vastly more than the mud-and-shit-worked peasants they rule over, and refusing to actually change things for the better.

And, after a lifetime of reading about privileged royal twats as protagonists who complained about how hard their lives were, only to end up getting a heart for the peasantry later, but not actually rocking the boat too hard, in terms of changing their monarchies to something directly more beneficial, I’m just kind of done with them?

That being said, Abercrombie wrote Jezal dan Luthar and I actually liked how he progressed, but at the same time, he wasn’t royalty at the start. Just a noble prick who had to take some hard blows before he could grow the hell up. So, we’ll see how this goes...

“I hate bloody hangings,” said Orso.

One of the whores tittered as if he’d cracked quite the joke. It was the falsest laugh he had ever heard, and when it came to false laughter, he was quite the connoisseur. Everyone was false in his presence, and he the worst actor of all.

“I guess you could stop it,” said Hildi. “If you wanted.”

Orso frowned up at her, perched on the wall with her legs crossed and her chin propped on one palm.

“Well… I suppose…” Strange how the idea had never occurred to him before. He pictured himself springing onto the scaffold, insisting these poor people be pardoned, ushering them back to their miserable lives to tearful thanks and rapturous applause. Then he sighed. “But… one really shouldn’t interfere with the workings of the judiciary.”

Lies, like everything that left his mouth, engineered to make him appear just a touch less detestable. He wondered who he was trying to fool. Hildi undoubtedly saw straight through it. The truth was, when it came to stopping this, as with so much else, he simply couldn’t be arsed. He took another pinch of pearl dust, his heavy snorts ringing out as the Inquisitor in charge stepped to the front of the scaffold and the crowd fell breathlessly silent.

My, my, Orso’s quite the charmer, isn’t he. Just this apathetic mess who can’t be bothered to act in any way real, even stop a hanging he doesn’t like. There’s a pitiful quality to him, but not in a way that arouses sympathy or love to me, given how much privilege and power his position has, especially with how much he knows he’s a shit and can afford to get away with it as crown prince.

That being said, what strikes me about this opening is just how painfully self-depreciating Orso’s voice is. To the noting of false laughter, to the knowledge that he knows he’s using his words to paint himself less awful to Hildi, to this feeling that she can see through how despicable he is (and he kind of is here!), one thing that contrasts him with a high screech against early Jezal and, more accurately, Crown Prince Ladisla, is that... Orso really doesn’t buy into any hype of his. He knows he’s a shit person, everyone knows it, so why bother denying it to himself?

Hmmm. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about this, self-awareness can cut both ways in terms of reader sympathy, but he’s no Ladisla so far. He’s certainly an interesting contrast to Savine, the other Union voice, and Leo, the other male voice, so far. He’s not particular fixated on public appearances, given the ease of doing drugs out in the open, and he’s not exactly a man of action either. He’s just... kind of an inactive shit stuck in his privilege.

“These three…people,” and the Inquisitor swept an arm towards the chained convicts, each held under the armpit by a hooded executioner, “are members of the outlawed group known as the Breakers, convicted of High Treason against the Crown!”

“Treason!” someone screeched, then dissolved into coughing. It was a still day, so a bad one for the vapours. Not that there were many good days for the vapours lately, what with the new chimneys sprouting up all over Adua. People at the very back must have been struggling to see the scaffold through the murk.

“They have been found guilty of setting fires and breaking machinery, of incitement to riot and sheltering fugitives from the king’s justice! Have you anything to say?”

The first prisoner, a heavyset fellow with a beard, evidently did. “We’re faithful subjects of His Majesty!” he bellowed in a hero’s voice, all manly bass and quivering passion. “All we want is an honest wage for honest work!”

Huh, so the Breakers are effectively revolutionaries? Honestly, I can’t really blame them for railing against their conditions. As we’ve seen in Savine’s chapter, they live in some truly wretched environments. And all these passages prove is that is the new age of progress that Savine’s taking advantage is here to stay, and Orso’s eyes are a necessary lens to see all the curses of it, whereas Savine would only see the Breakers and the vapours as the inevitable collateral damage of this new world where money is power.

“I’d sooner take a dishonest wage for no work at all,” grunted Tunny.

Yolk burst out laughing while swigging from his bottle and sprayed a reeking mist of spirits, which settled over the wig of a well-dressed old lady just in front.

Hey, Tunny and Yolk! Hi, you two surviving bastards! Playing to the hits, I see.

“Yes.” Tunny showed his yellow grin and Orso winced. He hated it when Tunny used him to bully people. Almost as much as he hated hangings. But somehow he could never bring himself to stop either one.

(arches an eyebrow) Now, how did Tunny manage to get in close enough to the Crown Prince ever since serving in the war against Styria? And why get close to a Crown Prince to begin with? Is Tunny not afraid of the shitting falling on him once Orso’s enemies angling to take him and his friends out?

And, by god, Tunny’s turned into more of a shit than he originally was. I mean, given his appearance in Sharp Ends, I’m not surprised, but never let it be said that Abercrombie lets up on the negative character development he’s famous for among his characters.

The side-whisker enthusiast had turned pale as a freshly laundered sheet, something Orso had not seen in some time. “Your Highness, I had no idea. Please accept my—”

“No need.” Orso waved a lazy hand, wine-stained lace cuff flapping, and took another pinch of pearl dust. “I am a damn disgrace. Notoriously so.” He gave the man a reassuring pat on the shoulder, realised he had smeared dust all over his coat and tried ineffectually to brush it off. If Orso excelled at anything, after all, it was being ineffectual. “Please don’t concern yourself over my feelings. I don’t have any.” Or so he often said. The truth was he sometimes felt he had too many. He was dragged so violently in a dozen different directions that he could not move at all.

Honestly, as much as I don’t come out of this respecting Orso, I can relate to that last sentiment. Being so dragged apart by different responsibilities and obligations that you feel paralyzed by it. You can’t move, you can’t do anything.

That being said, Orso, you’re doing drugs while watching a hanging you can, theoretically, try to stop. I’m not seeing where you’re being dragged apart here.

And there is so much apathy and self-depreciation in these passages, so much of Orso not getting angry or petty, not even for a power high considering Side-whiskers would be fine with however he reacted, which is so telling compared to the usual reactions of nobles. There’s no knee-jerk anger at being told off like Jezal or Ladisla or Vallimir or most others here. Orso’s so inactive, he can’t even summon up the typical petty retribution that nobles do.

He’s a shit, but he’s a very different shit compared to the others, I feel.

“Majir?”

“Y’owe Majir a hundred and fifty-one marks. Said she can’t give you more credit.”

“Spizeria, then?”

“Y’owe him three hundred and six. Same story.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

Hildi gave Tunny, Yolk and the whores a significant glance. “You want me to answer that?”

Orso racked his brains to think of someone else, then gave up. If he excelled at anything, after all, it was giving up. “For pity’s sake, Hildi, everyone knows I’m good for it. I’ll be coming into a considerable legacy one of these days.” No less than the Union, and everything in it, and all its unliftable weight of care, and impossible responsibility, and crushing expectation. He grimaced and tossed her the box.

Huh! The same Majir in Savine’s chapter? A neat note, but dang, Orso, who haven’t you indebted yourself to at this point? So much privilege of never needing to mind one’s personal purse. Though, you’d think Jezal would’ve covered him or Terez, at least, told him to knock it off the frivolous spending, up to a point.

And there’s that awareness again, knowing how much weight he’s going to be under once he stops being Crown Prince and starts being King of the Union, and, to put a pause on haranguing Orso for his inactivity and open apathy, the Circle of the World might be the only series where there’s greater context to more justify a lack of feeling any agency among the royalty, given how Bayaz’s set it up and how much Jezal is ultimately a prisoner to his status, though Orso doesn’t know how bad it’ll get.

Kind of hard to do anything when stepping out of line means an “accident.”

“You owe me nine marks,” she muttered.

“Shoo!” Orso tried to wave her away, got his little finger painfully tangled in his cuff and had to rip it free. “Just get it done!”

She gave a long-suffering sigh, jammed that ancient soldier’s cap down over her blonde curls and stepped off into the crowd.

“She’s a funny little thing, your errand girl,” warbled one of the whores, dragging too heavily on his arm.

“She’s my valet,” said Orso, frowning, “and she’s a fucking treasure.”

Awww, is it wrong this made me like Orso more? If he drags himself, he elevates others as well. And he’s right, Hildi’s a damn treasure and it’s still kind of amazing a prince allows his inner circle to be contrary to him, mouthing off to him and using him in their petty power plays like with Tunny and Side-whiskers earlier.

It’s like he has so little regard for himself, that there’s room for him to think so much better of others.

On the scaffold, meanwhile, the bearded man was bellowing out the Breakers’ manifesto with ever more emotion. The noise from the crowd was growing but, much to the upset of the Inquisitor, he was starting to strike a chord. Calls of support were breaking through the mockery.

“No more machines!” the bearded man roared, veins bulging in his thick neck. “No more seizure of common land!”

He seemed a useful fellow. More useful than Orso, certainly. “What a bloody waste,” he muttered.

This is reminding me of when Last Argument of Kings had the Tanner plotline and how much the peasantry rebelled then. Except thematically... this feels different. That rebellion was an orchestrated farce at the head of it in the end, but this feels more... real.

Orso, especially stuck in his self-depreciation, can see the validity of the people involved with the movement, and see the waste of killing a good man. Yet, he’ll still let him die because his station is built upon on culling the dissidents of royalty, hence why the Inquisition are doing this.

He might believe it a waste, hell, I think he genuinely does, but ultimately, without acting, all those thoughts? Empty gestures and sighs, full of pity, Orso.

It was a riddle. This man, born with no advantages, believed in something so much he was willing to die for it. Orso, born with everything, could scarcely make himself get out of bed of a morning. Or, indeed, an afternoon.

“Bed is warm, though,” he murmured.

Well, that’s just the thing. The privileged, with their inherited wealth, don’t have to work to preserve it and their privileges. They’ve known no other life beyond it and have grown accustomed to their degree of luxury. Their wealth and privilege allows them to live as comfortably as possible, and the human lives exploited and squeezed out of their use? They’re less a consideration to the immediate pleasures of the privileges of those in high places.

Comfort and pleasure can blind you, because too much of them can close you off to the pain and anguish of others, if your luxurious life is dependent on the suffering of others. It’s only when you have skin in the game that you learn to fight for something until the bitter end, because you don’t have any luxury to fall back on when you’re knee-deep in the shit. A world’s difference between that Breaker and Orso, between those with losing and winning hands.

Rather than needing strong men or horses to haul up the condemned, some enterprising fellow had devised a system whereby prisoners could be dropped through the scaffold floor at a touch upon a lever. There was an invention to make everything more efficient these days, after all. Why would killing people be an exception?

(snorts) Done in a new way, indeed.

“Damn it,” muttered Orso, working a finger into his collar. There was nothing even faintly satisfying in this. Even if these people really were enemies of the state, they hardly looked like very dangerous ones.

In some ways, this is a shockingly naive thought in the Circle of the World. Plenty of otherwise harmless-looking or quiet people can turn out your most dangerous and ruthless enemies in this world, as Logen would point out. But, at the same time... this is still an acknowledgment of all this being wrong. Orso’s problem isn’t that he doesn’t know right or wrong, it’s that he can’t be bothered to do anything about it, and that damns him, given he, out of everyone there, could stop it. Could, at least, try! And doesn’t!

The next in line to receive the king’s justice was a girl who might not yet have been sixteen. Her eyes, wide in bruised sockets, flickered from the open trapdoor to the Inquisitor as he stepped towards her. “Have you anything to say?”

She appeared hardly to comprehend. Orso found himself wishing the vapours were thicker, and that he could not see her face at all.

“Please,” said the man beside her. There were tears streaking his dirty cheeks. “Take me but, please—”

Oof. I can’t say I’m surprised, considering West’s chapter at the Angland camp noting the Inquisition takes children in, but seeing it still punches me in the heart. And that man, just begging for leniency to that girl, for himself...

And Orso, wishing he didn’t have to see her face, in order not to feel the guilt burning in him. At staying his hand. Because looking at someone’s eyes beforehand makes it all the harder to say they deserved to die.

Orso gritted his as he looked to the scaffold. Hildi had been right, he could stop this. If not him, who? If not now, when?

There was some problem with the girl’s noose, the Inquisitor hissing furiously at one of the executioners as he dragged his hood up over his sweaty face to peer at the knots.

Orso was just about to step forward. Was just about to roar, Stop!

On a purely realistic note, I kind of wonder what would have happened, had Orso acted? Glokta’s not there, nor is Bayaz, and it can be agreed-upon the public masses that the royalty of the Union still holds the power over there. So, ultimately, it depends on whether Orso would buckle to the Inquisitors there, them telling him that the Breakers are traitors and deserve no quarter with him conceding in the end, or if he could argue that children have done no crime worth execution? In truth, the Inquisition are the real power, given Arch Lector Glokta, but at the same time, publicly undercutting the royalty might be more trouble than Orso undercutting the Inquisition, who nominally serve under him.

In short, it’s entirely possible he could’ve, at least, saved the girl, just like Jezal protected Brock’s children against his Closed Council once:

“There will be no hangings.” The king was frowning levelly at Bayaz.

Hoff blinked. “But your Majesty, you cannot allow—”

“There has been enough bloodshed. Far more than enough. Release Lord Brock’s children.”

Last Argument of Kings, Patriotic Duties

(Sobs at father/son connections)

In all honesty, if we’re talking echoes of the first trilogy, there’s a lot of later-Jezal in Orso, the self-depreciating man who was more painfully aware of how out-of-depth he was as king, except the self-depreciation is far more pointed in Orso’s case, Orso’s voice is choked full of it, so much so that it’s a miasma of disregard to himself. Not undeserved, considering how little he’s doing now, but it’s definitely a notable quality. On a structural level, I can’t help, but read a certain Crown Prince Ladisla in Orso, except, instead of just a punchline, there’s an actual character in this useless prince, and enough self-aware and want to do the right thing...

... Yet, Orso doesn’t.

But circumstances always conspired to stop him doing the right thing. He heard a soft, high voice in his ear. “Your Highness.”

Orso turned to see the broad, flat and decidedly unwelcome face of Bremer dan Gorst at his shoulder.

HEY, GORST THE WORST! How’re ya doing? :D Still the King's First Guard? Of course you are! Also still being a depressed, self-pitying murderous incel? That too, most like!

Gods, I wonder if he’s still fixated on Finree, after all these years...

“The queen has sent for you,” piped Gorst.

Orso blew out through his pursed lips to make a long farting sound. “Hasn’t she better things to do?”

Oh, SNAP! We’re getting Terez this early? My, my, I’m certainly interested in seeing her again, after how Abercrombie dropped the ball with her the first trilogy.

Orso turned away without much reluctance. He hated bloody hangings, but the girls had wanted to go and he hated disappointing people, too. As a result of which, it seemed, he disappointed everyone. At his back, there was that strange sound between gasp and cheer as the next trapdoor dropped open.

Disappointing me as well. Damn it, Orso. Nothing was stopping you from stopping the girl’s execution, at least, and then going to your mother right after. But no, you took the easy excuse of needing to be with your mother, instead of the hard choice of standing for what’s right.

Another thing Abercrombie relies on? The anti-climax, the thwarting of expectations on a chapter and series scale, I knew it as one of his writing tools going in, and I still fell for it, hoping Orso would do something useful, anything useful and stop the excessive execution of a child. I suppose I have no one to blame but myself, given even Orso’s expressed what a useless shit he is, but...

Oh, Orso, Orso, Orso. What am I to do with you?

Orso tossed his hat onto the bald head of a bust of Bayaz, congratulating himself that it came to rest on the legendary wizard at a pleasingly rakish angle.

Huh, I do wonder how a meeting between Orso and Bayaz would go down. Bayaz’s inevitable to come visit the Union at some point in this trilogy, especially if Jezal croaks in the middle of it (the Breakers would serve as an abject reason for murdering the king, given the allusions to the French Revolution). Orso hardly seem to be made of sterner stuff, even more than his father, who wasn’t exactly a lion deep down... but at the same time, that’s expected, isn’t it?

Who are you, Orso, beyond a self-aware fool I can’t respect, and pity without sympathy?

The tapping of his boot heels echoed in the vast spaces of the salon as he crossed a sea of gleaming tiles to the tiny island of furniture in its centre. The High Queen of the Union sat fearsomely erect there, dripping with diamonds, growing out of the chaise like a spectacular orchid from a gilded pot. It hardly needed to be said that he’d known her his whole life, but the sheer regality of the woman still took him aback every time.

You know, I was expecting this, but wow. We’re really getting Terez, huh! Looking the picture-perfect example of royalty.

Also, I got to love that fearsomely. Lovely detail to capture how Orso feels about his mother.

“Mother,” he said, in Styrian. Using the tongue of the country they actually ruled only aggravated her, and he knew from long experience that aggravating Queen Terez was never, ever worth it. “I was just on my way to visit when Gorst found me.”

“You must take me for a rare kind of fool,” she said, angling her face towards him.

“No, no.” He bent to brush one heavily powdered cheek with his lips. “Just the usual kind.”

“Really, Orso, your accent has become appalling.”

“Well, now that Styria is almost entirely controlled by our enemies, I get so little chance to practice.”

As an immigrant child, someone born away from my current home, I can’t entirely relate to this... but I know my parents suffered a great deal of cultural diaspora when they came to where we currently live. And, when my brother and I could, we would speak Chinese because it was part of our parents’ culture. I’m not particularly good at it, but I know enough to make my parents’ lives more convenient instead of speaking a language they’re less comfortable with.

I say all this to say? I completely get where Terez’s coming from. She was effectively sold off from her father to a foreign country to accumulate more of his power and she’s adrift from her original culture and home and just wants to keep as much as possible. And it’s honestly such a neat detail from a character who was given the short shrift in the first trilogy, writing-wise. I can already tell there’s a greater sense of detail attended to her this time.

The royal bosom, constrained by corsetry that was a feat of engineering to rival any wonder of the new age, inflated majestically as the queen sighed. “People expect a certain amount of indolence in a Crown Prince. It was quite winning when you were seventeen. At twenty-two, it began to become tiresome. At twenty-seven, it looks positively desperate.”

(looks at Crown Prince Ladisla) Different sort of man, yet, the same disappointment. I come back to the Prince Ladisla comparison because the way they’re written feels so different, despite occupying a similar useless royal twat archetype. Prince Ladisla completely bought into himself being the best thing since sliced bread, full of illusions of himself as a great general in his head. Crown Prince Orso, though? If anything, he suffers from the opposite problem: so thoroughly disillusioned of himself that he feels he can’t do anything. They’re both privileged, useless, royal twat archetypes, but how their uselessness is expressed is the difference between day and night.

“You have no idea, Mother.” Orso dropped into a chair so savagely uncomfortable it was like being punched in the arse. “I have long been thoroughly ashamed of myself.”

“You could try doing something to be proud of. Have you considered that?”

“I’ve spent whole days considering it.” He frowned discerningly through the wine as he held it up to the light from the giant windows. “But doing it really feels like such a lot of effort.”

This feels similar to the Finree/Leo dynamic, except where that mother was exasperated at her son’s inability to do anything but act, Terez takes issue with how much Orso will do anything but act. A true man of inaction against Leo’s man of action.

Also, “long been thoroughly ashamed”? How long as this been happening for Orso, then? Terez did mention that he was like this since seventeen, but... why? I mean, as Terez says, you could try doing something. Like, um, stopping an execution? Orso? Hello?

“Frankly, your father could use your support. He is a weak man, Orso.”

“So you never tire of telling him.”

“And these are difficult times. The last war did… not end well.”

“It ended pretty well if you’re King Jappo of Styria.”

His mother pronounced each word with icy precision. “Which you… are…not.”

“Sadly, for all concerned.”

“You are King Jappo’s mortal enemy and the rightful heir to all he and the thrice-damned Snake of Talins have stolen, and it is high time you took your position seriously! We have enemies everywhere. Inside our borders, too.”

Well. That answers one question about Jezal and Terez. Though, honestly, I expected as much, given those grisly circumstances. (grimaces)

Also, snrrrk. Terez, Orso barely has the energy to do the right thing for a girl, what makes you think he has the energy to take up a mortal enemy he never asked for?

Also, calling it now: Orso and Jappo are totally going to meet eventually in this trilogy and get along because they can share in their mutual burdens of dominating mothers.

“Then I trust you come to me in a receptive mood.” Orso’s mother gave two sharp claps and Lord Chamberlain Hoff strutted in. With waistcoat bulging around his belly and legs stick-like in tight breeches, he looked like nothing so much as a prize rooster jealously patrolling the farmyard.

“Your Majesty.” He bowed so low to the queen, he virtually buffed the tiles with his nose. “Your Highness.” He bowed just as low to Orso but in a manner that somehow expressed boundless contempt. Or perhaps Orso only saw his own contempt for himself reflected in that obsequious smile. “I have positively scoured the entire Circle of the World for the most eligible candidates. Dare one suggest that the future High Queen of the Union waits among them?”

HEY, Hoff! You piece of utter shit! How’ve you been?

(stares before wincing) Well, that feels familiar... though, I imagine there’s just some genuine contempt, considering that you’re not exactly the model of princely behavior.

Well, not good princely behavior.

“Oh, good grief.” Orso let his head drop back, staring up towards the beautifully painted ceiling of the peoples of the world kneeling before a golden sun. “The parade again?”

“Ensuring the succession is not a joke,” pronounced his mother.

“Not a funny one, anyway.”

“Don’t be facetious, Orso. Your sisters both did their dynastic duty. Do you suppose Cathil wanted to move to Starikland?”

“She’s an inspiration.”

“Do you think Carlot wanted to marry the Chancellor of Sipani?”

Actually, she had been delighted by the idea, but Orso’s mother loved to imagine everyone sacrificing all on the altar of duty, the way she was always telling them she had. “Of course not, Mother.”

Cathil? Carlot? What the... who named them? Orso makes me think Terez got to name the sons (oh geez, I just realized Crown Prince Orso was still a child when Duke Orso got killed, what a bad omen) and Cathil and Carlot... did Jezal name them? Where did he get those names? Now I’m wondering Jezal asking Glokta for advice on names, and Glokta asking Pike for another name for the daughter after the first one.

Either that or Cathil and Carlot are common Union names, maybe, but just imagine the awkwardness of that naming discussion between Jezal and Glokta.

Also, STARIKLAND? Where Conthus and Carlot are? Oh dear...

What strikes me about this is the idea that Orso and Carlot were close enough that he knew that she was delighted at the arrangement between her and the Chancellor of Sipani. It’s just a nugget, but it helps make Orso a little more palatable.

Also, as much as I really dislike the guilt-tripping from Terez here... there’s a sad reality that she was sacrificed for her father’s power. Whether he knew she was a lesbian or not is immaterial, he could’ve arranged her a match she actually liked and straight-up didn’t care enough to, only thinking that she would’ve whined, had he offered Euz, instead of simply a king.

“Lady Sithrin dan Harnveld,” announced the lord chamberlain.

Orso sank lower into his chair. “Do I really want a wife who measures the distance from her chin to her tits in miles?”

“Artistic licence, Your Highness,” explained Hoff.

“Call it art, you can get away with anything.”

HA! I have a few artistic friends, and have seen enough artists justify wonky perspective or anatomy, that this is endlessly amusing to me.

Honestly, Orso’s got a few good zingers here. That’s another good part about this chapter here: he’s funny in a way Rikke and Leo, or even Savine, aren’t, despite the darkness of the initial half. A lot of his quips undercut a good chunk of the darkness there. Not enough that the reality doesn’t sink in, but enough that it doesn’t choke us with the misery of child execution.

“The Countess Istarine of Affoia is a proven politician, and would bring us valuable allies in Styria.”

“From the looks of her, she’s more likely to bring me a dose of the cock-rot.”

“I had imagined you would be immune from constant exposure,” observed the queen, waving the portrait away with an exquisite flourish of her fingers.

Snrrrrk. Dang, even Terez’s got some good zingers here. This back-and-forth is delightfully fun.

And so it went, as Orso marked the turning of morning into afternoon by the steadily decreasing level of wine in the decanter, and dismissed the flower of womanhood, one by one.

“How could I abide a wife taller than me?”

“She’s a worse drunk than I am.”

“At least we know she’s fertile, she’s borne two bastards that I know about.”

“Is that a nose on her face or a prick?”

He almost wished he was back at the hanging. That, he could theoretically have stopped. Over his mother, he was utterly powerless. His only chance was to wait her out. There were a finite number of women in the Circle of the World, after all.

Yeaaaaaaaah, Orso might be a shit person, but dang, this part of him is oodles of fun, a delightful wry awareness. Though, dang, some of these are pretty damn petty complaints, all things considering.

“Finished?” asked Orso. “No portrait of Savine dan Glokta lurking in the hallway?”

(feels a chill in his spine) Oh god, no, Orso.

No, just no. Please don’t. I’m serious. Don’t fuck your half-sister!

On a less horrified note, is that why he gave those petty complaints and denials to those women? Because he has his heart set on Savine? Which, I mean, all the power to you, Orso, but it’s Savine. Putting aside the incest angle that you don’t know about, it’s Savine.

Even at this distance, he felt the chill of the queen’s displeasure. “For pity’s sake, her mother is a low-born boor, and a drunk to boot.”

“But an absolute scream at parties, and whatever you say for Lady Ardee, Arch Lector Glokta has the people’s respect. Or at any rate their abject terror.”

“A crippled worm,” spat the queen. “A torturer!”

“But our torturer, eh, Mother? Our torturer. And I understand his daughter has made herself quite spectacularly rich.”

I 100% do not blame Terez for being so visceral against Glokta. What he did to her the first trilogy is some abjectly ghastly shit. I will never hold that against her. Though, you really have to be a classist shit to Ardee, Terez?

That being said, whatever happened to Shalere? She’s not attending to Terez and she was particularly joined at the hip with Terez back in Last Argument of Kings, so... was she killed? I noticed Orso didn’t mention a brother, or did Glokta take mercy on Terez and Shalere after the former sired Orso, Cathil, and Carlot, and Terez told her lover to get out of dodge to protect her? That’s... just even more sad and lonely for Terez.

Also, huh, Ardee goes out to parties and living the high life? Good for her, I guess she doesn’t just stay home all the time, like Savine’s chapter implies. At least that’s some levity from the misery of loneliness.

“Money made through trade, and dealings, and investments.” The queen spat the words as though they were criminal enterprises. For all Orso knew, Savine’s dealings were criminal enterprises. He wouldn’t at all have put it past her.

“Oh, come now, money shamefully made from trade fills the same holes in the treasury as the kind nobly wrung from the misery of the peasantry.”

“She is too old! You are too old, and she is even older than you are.”

“But she has impeccable manners and is still quite the celebrated beauty.” He waved a loose hand towards the doorway. “She’d make a prettier portrait than any of those piglets, and the painter wouldn’t even have to lie. Queen Savine sounds rather well.” He gave a chuckle. “It even rhymes.”

I’ve said plenty about Orso’s inactivity and his shittiness for that, but he’s certainly got a brain to him, and enough understanding and no class illusions to realize that money’s money, no matter where it comes from.

Honestly, it’s a little refreshing, how much Orso isn’t the usual privileged royal twat, characterization-wise.

Also, huh! Good to know how to pronounce Savine’s name! Now, I sort of wish I knew how to pronounce your name, Orso, ya fop.

“Promise me you will have nothing to do with that ambitious worm of a woman.”

“With Savine dan Glokta?” Orso sat back with a bemused expression. “Her mother’s a commoner, her father’s a torturer and she made her money from business.” He shook the last drops from the decanter into his glass. “Quite apart from which, really, she’s far too bloody old.”

“Oh,” he gasped. “Oh! Oh fuck!”

He arched his back, clutched desperately at the edge of the desk, kicked a pot of pens onto the floor, smacked his head against the wall and sent a little shower of plaster across his shoulders. He tried desperately to squirm away, but she had him by the balls. Quite literally.

He crushed his face up, nearly swallowed his tongue, coughed and hissed one more desperate, “Fuck!” through gritted teeth, then sagged back with a whimper, kicked and sagged again, legs shuddering weakly with aching after-spasms.

“Fuck,” he breathed.

(bursts into laughter) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT! (continues howling in laughter) Oh my god, Orso!!! (descends into a strangled sort of laughter now) Wow, Orso, just wow... hahahahaha (putters in tiny, almost choked snickers) ... hahahaha...

... Shit, this is kind of bad, isn’t it. Guys, what the fuck.

Orso watched his seed float around in the wine. “That… is somewhat disgusting.”

“Please.” Savine rinsed her mouth out from the other glass. “You only have to look at it.”

“Such cavalier disrespect. One day, madam, I shall be your king!”

“And your queen will no doubt spit your come into a golden box to be shared out on holidays for the public good. My congratulations to you both, Your Highness.”

He gave vent to a silly giggle. “Why does someone as altogether perfect as you waste her energy on a dolt like me?”

Snrrrk, gods, this chapter really be a ton of fun, given how much Orso’s matching up against people his fencing level. Brings out the best in everyone, dialogue-wise.

And it doesn’t pass my notice that when Orso says the usual entitled and typical “I shall be your king” remark, just like Ladisla towards Cathil in Before They Are Hanged, Orso is clearly saying it in jest and lets the retorting quip pass with a giggle. There’s so much of Orso that feels like an intentional course-correction of that particular fantasy archetype, a forceful zag where Ladisla zigged.

She pushed out her lips discerningly, as though considering the mystery, and for a strange, stupid moment he almost asked her. The words tickled at his lips. There was no one better suited to him. She had all the qualities he wished he had. So sharp. So disciplined. So decisive. Besides, it would have been worth it just for the look on his mother’s face. He almost asked her.

But circumstances always conspired to stop him doing the right thing.

“I can only think of one reason,” she said, hitching her skirts up and wriggling onto the desk beside him.

Oh, Orso. You’re a bit of a coward and even more of a fool than I thought if you don’t see the reality that she’s only after you for your impending kingship. The writing’s on the wall here, and you’re refusing to see it because you think Savine’s just the best (I suppose not incorrect in most aspect aside from morality).

“Get to it, then.”

“You really are in no mood for romance today, are you?”

She slid her fingers into his hair, then twisted his head somewhat painfully down between her legs. “My time is valuable.”

“The naked gall.” Orso gave a sigh as he hooked her leg over his shoulder, sliding his hand down the bare skin, hearing her gasp, feeling her shudder. He kissed gently at her shin, at her knee, at her thigh. “Is there no end to the demands of one’s subjects?”

This ending and this entire sex scene really does illuminate a lot of things, like the actual Savine/Orso dynamic (sub male and dom woman), how gentle and passive-compared-to-Savine Orso is as a lover, how clever he can be with words during intimacy, and... how much Orso feels so worthless, he feels he need the best to complete him, no matter how much she might be using him for her own gains. I shake my head at this, not even taking into account the incest quality, but... there’s a sadder register to it.

As a chapter, this does set up quite a few details, like the ills of the new age, and the Breakers that’ll resist this to the point of death, the Savine/Orso affair, and Orso’s (really) apathetic and self-depreciating character. Orso’s asides manage to undercut quite a bit of the darkness of the chapter’s first half, where Orso’s inaction is condemned by even himself, and the second half is where it crackles with dialogue and fencing between more equal opponents, unlike Savine’s punching down against random putzes. It’s not quite as self-contained as Where the Fight’s Hottest, but it’s more fun than all the prior chapters so far.

As a character... honestly, Orso fascinates me in a way only Rikke also does for me. I won’t exactly say he’s more interesting than Savine at this point, but he makes for an interesting contrast to Leo as a man of inaction. Self-aware, yet useless, Orso’s kind of a huge mess and a privileged shit in a way that I should hate, and, yeah, I don’t particularly think it says great things that he still let the executions happen (at the very least, he could’ve tried to save the girl!), but... he’s a shit in a way that’s so different from most other privileged royal twats. A man who knows himself for the useless prince and just internalizes it as deep as the pearl dust he snorts. In some ways, the self-awareness damns him, because he knows he’s useless and doesn’t try for better or not being useless, but, at the same time, he’s not unintelligent, has no illusions about himself, and is certainly a sort of fun character, if blatantly aware of how trashy he is.

I kind of wonder where Abercrombie’s going to take Orso, because he’s really fascinating as a character construct, a fantasy archetype given this modernized wry self-awareness, the privileged royal twat who has no illusions of his station and what a shit he is.

PART I

Chapter One: Blessings and Curses Chapter Two: Where the Fight’s Hottest Chapter Three: Guilt Is a Luxury Chapter Four: Keeping Score Chapter Five: A Little Public Hanging Chapter Six: The Breakers Chapter Seven: The Answer to Your Tears Chapter Eight: Young Heroes Chapter Nine: The Moment

#a little hatred #a little hatred spoilers #the age of madness #the first law #joe abercrombie #crown prince orso #a little hatred part I

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homespork-review · 5 years

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Spork Introduction

CHEL: Hi! I go by Chel, they or she pronouns, and I’m the one spearheading this project. I still like at least a fair percentage of Homestuck, but after the ending disappointed me a great deal, I got bitter, and when Hussie pissed me off further by Godwinning himself, I decided to do something about it. I’m no longer angry about it, but I felt I’d benefit from picking out what I hate from what I love so I can focus on the latter without annoyance getting in the way, and also to benefit my own writing efforts.

BRIGHT: Howdy! I’m Bright, and I got into Homestuck fairly recently. After ploughing through the archive and digesting for a while, I realised that I was thoroughly annoyed by how something enjoyable had fallen apart so comprehensively. I am looking forward to the time-honoured practice of ripping the story apart to identify its weak points and shout at them.

FAILURE ARTIST: Hello, I’m Failure Artist (call me FA for short), she/her/herself pronouns, and I’m so old-school they burned the school down. I was introduced to Homestuck via Something Awful’s Webcomic thread. I checked the old mspadventures.com site and the latest update was [S] John: Bite Apple. After watching that bizarre piece of animation, I had to know what the hell happened before then. I found I enjoyed the wit of the comic though I didn’t really care much about the plot. It was only when Act 5 came around that I became a serious fan. I currently have 122 Homestuck works on Archive of Our Own. I have a lot of free time, you see. I am very disappointed in how Homestuck ended. Possibly there was no completely satisfactory way it could end but it still could have been better. I feel like Hussie was a juggler who threw a lot of balls into the air and ignored them as they fell to the ground and some fans think not catching them was a master move since you’d expect he’d try to catch at least one. Sadly, lots of the problems with the ending are embedded deep within the canon.

TIER: Hi hi. I am Tier, a very late newcomer to the wonderful world of Homestuck (2018 reader!) and average fan overall. I love this webcomic to bits, but the low points are deep and I enjoy seeking out what the heck went wrong. Not particularly analytical myself, hope that's cool!

CHEL: Cool by us! We’ve already done plenty of analysing before we started, as you may realise from my Tumblr’s “homestuck ending hate” tag (at @chelonianmobile).

FAILURE ARTIST: But let’s put that aside for a moment and talk about the good stuff.

Homestuck is incredibly innovative. It is the first true webcomic. It’s not just a print comic posted online. It uses not just still images and words but also animation, music, and interactive games.

Homestuck is the latest adventure in the series MS Paint Adventures. MS Paint Adventures started as a forum adventure. In forum adventures, the OP acts as a sort of Dungeon Master and other forum members give them prompts. Andrew Hussie’s previous works under MS Paint Adventures were Jailbreak (which is little more than Hussie dicking with the prompters in scatological ways), Bard’s Quest (Choose-your-own-adventure), and the actually-completed Problem Sleuth. Problem Sleuth lacks the music and animation and despite the weird physics shenanigans is a simpler story than Homestuck. The characters aren’t even two dimensional.

Homestuck (and the previous MS Paint Adventures minus Bard’s Quest) are set up like adventure games. Adventure games are where the player is a protagonist in a story and are usually focused on puzzle-solving though sometimes there’s combat. In the beginning, these games were purely text. The player would type what they wanted to do and the game would spout back text describing it - assuming the computer parser understood you.

CHEL: Oh god, I HATED that. I wasn’t around for the heyday but I’ve played a couple and

Pale Luna

was barely an exaggeration (horror warning).

FAILURE ARTIST: As graphics improved, adventure games started using them, but the commands were still in text. Only later was the point-and-click interface created and players didn’t have to guess what exact sentence the computer wanted them to type. Homestuck and the other MS Paint Adventures play with that frustration while paying tribute to the genre. The game within the comic uses RPG elements but the comic itself is set up like those good ol’ adventure games. In the beginning, Homestuck was guided by commands from forum members. Even after he closed the suggestion box, he used memes and fanon created by readers.

CHEL: How good an idea this was varies, as we’ll be showing.

We probably don’t need to describe Homestuck much more. Everyone here who hasn’t read it will doubtless have heard of it. Almost everyone with a Tumblr will have seen fanart, almost anyone at a convention will have seen cosplay. Shoutouts have been made to it in professional works such as the cartoon Steven Universe, and the Avengers fandom latched onto “caw caw motherfuckers” as a catchphrase for Hawkeye to the point that it’s now often forgotten it didn’t originate from there.

FAILURE ARTIST: The Homestuck fandom term “sadstuck” for depressing stories/headcanons somehow leaked into other fandoms. Using second-person is actually cool now and not just for awkward reader fics. Astrology will never be the same again.

CHEL: Now, in the interests of fairness, we will say that when Homestuck is good, it’s amazing, and it’s good often. The characters at least start out appealing and are all immediately distinguishable; even with the typing quirks stripped, it’s easy to tell who said what. The magic system is one of the coolest I’ve ever seen, who doesn’t love classpecting themselves and their faves? Hussie also shows a lot of talent for the complex meta and time travel weirdness, and it is fascinating to watch a timeline thread unfurl. And whatever else one says, it’s a fascinating story that’s captivated millions. I think it is deserving of its title as a modern classic.

However, as the years have passed, we have ended up noticing problems, big and small, and they nagged at us until we decided it had to be dissected. Our intention here isn’t to tear apart something we loathe entirely. It’s to take a complex work and pick out what works from what doesn’t. As I said, when Homestuck is good, it’s very very good. But when it’s bad, we get problems of every scale from various offensive comments to dragging pace to characters ignoring problems and solutions right under their noses to an absolute collapse of every theme and statement the comic stood for before.

The comic is ludicrously long; eight thousand pages, or thereabouts, to be specific. Officially one of the longest works of fiction in the English language, in fact. Naturally, we can’t riff that word by word in any timeframe short of decades, and we can’t include every picture, even if that was permitted under copyright law. Instead, as comics have been done here before, we’ll recap most of the time, and include sections of dialogue and pictures when particularly relevant to a point.

Here are the counts we’ll be using, possibly to be added to later if we find we forgot anything. Most of these counts will only start to climb post-Act 5, but we’ll be keeping track of them from the beginning. Most of them could have been fixed with a decent editor, which is sadly a hazard of webcomics, but still frustrating to read.

TIER: Note: we started this endeavor months before the thought of a "technically not but still we'll count it" set of canon epilogues were a twinkle in the eyes of the fandom. That is, by the way, a whole 'nother can of worms that will be dealt with at a later date if that ever comes around. We're judging Homestuck the Webcomic as a whole, so no after the credits stuff is to be noted for whatever reason.

ALL THE LUCK - Vriska Serket constantly gets a pass or gets favored over every other character. This count is added to every time she pulls some shenanigans with which others wouldn’t get away. ARE YOU TRYING TO BE FUNNY? - Sometimes it’s not entirely clear whether a thing is supposed to be taken seriously or not. We don’t require hand-holding through every joke, but when, for example, we’re supposed to take one instance of violence seriously while a similar case is supposed to be funny, this count goes up. CALL CPA PLEASE - Instances of creepy sexual behaviour (and perhaps particularly gratuitous acts of violence) from the thirteen-year-old cast. Now, mileage may vary on this one. We won’t pretend that thirteen-year-olds are perfect pure angels, especially thirteen-year-olds growing up in what is openly supposed to be a nightmarish dystopia. However, when full pages focus on said behaviour, there comes a point of it being very uncomfortable to read. Clarification: does not refer to cases where the adults do something heinous, this is strictly when the kids do. CLOCKWORK PROBLEMATYKKS - When an offensive joke or comment is made, particularly when not justified by the personality of the character involved, or presented in the narration as being okay. GET ON WITH IT! - When the pace drags. ‘Nuff said. Hazard of the format, but it makes archive bingeing very annoying. GORE GALORE - For unnecessary and/or excessive torture porn which is treated less seriously because it features troll characters, and therefore less “realistic” blood colours. HOW NOT TO WRITE A WEBCOMIC - When the comic does something mentioned in How Not To Write A Novel, and it isn’t justified by the webcomic format. HURRY UP AND DO NOTHING - Characters repeatedly neglect to do something about or even react to terrible happenings, either because they don’t care even if they should or they forget they have the capacity. Not necessarily anything to do with their magical powers, either - characters ignore personal problems that are right under their noses, too. IN HATE WITH MY CREATION - For reasons that are unclear, Hussie chose to create characters he apparently hated writing, or at least ignored in favour of others. Every time he’s clearly disrespecting one of his own characters, this goes up, whether it’s by nerfing their powers or changing their personalities. RELATIONSHIP GOALS? - Romantic relationships in particular get fumbled quite often. Ship Teasing is used with skill, but that skill tends to be lost when the characters actually hook up. Fumbled friendships and family relations can also come under this heading. SEND THEM TO THE SLAMMER - When characters other than Vriska get away with something morally questionable. Covers everything from sexual harassment to not trying to save people from the apocalypse. SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS - Later on in Homestuck’s run, Hussie tried to make up for the offensive humour and casual -isms counted by Clockwork Problematykks above. How successful he was at this varied. This count goes up whenever an attempt at progressivism is waved in front of the reader but doesn’t stand up under scrutiny. WHAT IS HAPPENING?? - When the already confusing plot kicks it up a notch. Admittedly this is as much a selling point of the comic as it is an issue, but either way, we’re going to keep track. Points will be added to when it gets confusing, and taken away when a previous confusing thing is explained adequately. WHITE SBURB POSTMODERNISM - What is shown about Alternia repeatedly contradicts what we’re told about how different it is from Earth. For example, trolls still use heteronormative terms even after it’s established they reproduce bisexually, and the demonstration of the class structure doesn’t always add up. This count goes up every time that happens. It also goes up every time something happens which strongly implies Hussie was envisioning the human kids as white, despite his later claims that they were always supposed to be “aracial”, and every time their economic statuses don’t add up either.

#homespork #homestuck #review #literary critique #sporking #let's read #reread #homestuck meta

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writingsofadream · 5 years

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Chapter Five | It’s Getting Hotter

Pairing : Jungkook x Reader

Story : You knew being an intern at BigHit wouldn’t be easy, but you’d never imagined Jungkook would make it even harder.

You are a new intern at Big Hit, and you get to meet the boys. Set in the real world (as opposed to an AU), and just before the Love Yourself: Tear comeback. 2.1k words in this chapter.

|||||||||| 5 ||||||||||

Sitting in the plush of her excessively fluffy carpet, you help Suwoo finish off the last screw of her damn Ikea table. Between the two of you, it had taken almost a whole hour. Snacking and laughing in between, it was no wonder you’d been able to finish it at all.

“I just can’t believe you heard him TALK. You breathed the same air as MY Jimin! That’s so crazy to me…” Suwoo shakes her head in disbelief as she says this, a little jealous but mainly just amazed. “You’re sure there’s no way you could sneak me in?” She cocks her head naughtily.

“Fuck no. I actually wanna keep this internship to its end. And it was hard enough for me to get in, let alone sneak a whole other person in.” Your smile is tightlipped as you think about what you’re risking tonight.

“Urgh, that is super no fun. Can you at least mention me to him? Her eyes are sparkling with ambition.

“I told you, I haven’t seen any of them since that first day. They’re very elusive.” Well, that wasn’t quite true. But you sure as hell couldn’t tell Suwoo otherwise. Suddenly, your phone gives a slight buzz from the newly constructed, slightly ugly Ikea table.

12:03pm What are you up to? Are you still coming tonight?

You pull your phone closer to you as Suwoo inspects some of the questionable screws, tightening them once more just in case.

12:04pm I’m helping my friend build an Ikea table. Well, we just finished. What are you doing?

Pressing send, you then added another message as an afterthought.

12:04pm Yea, I think I’m still coming tonight. Not if you bug me about it though!

“Who are you messaging?” Suwoo’s question brings your head up from your phone, and you turn the screen off hastily.

“No one. Just my brother.” The lie is clumsy and rushed, but she seems to accept it anyway.

“Ohhhhh,” she replies as she nods her head knowingly. “How is he? Has he finally proposed to that dutiful girlfriend of his?”

You respond with a smile, since this is a long debated topic between you two. At 28, he should definitely be proposing sometime soon, especially since they’d been together for ten long years. And yet, for some reason that completely eluded you both, he just hadn’t popped the question yet.

“Not yet. But hopefully any day now. She’ll definitely be relieved when it happens!”

Ding. Your phone.

12:06pm Okay, okay. I’m in dance practice right now. I’d show you some moves, but they’re actually top secret kekekekeke

You considered replying, but the nagging voice at the back of your head told you not to. What if Jungkook’s messages were seen by someone else? One or two might be semi-explainable, but 50 or so? No way. The more you talked, the more dangerous it was. And besides, you were risking enough by agreeing to go and see him tonight. So no, you weren’t going to reply. At least, not yet.

You and Suwoo set the kitchen back up, now with the Ikea table taking centre stage. You both agreed that it wasn’t actually THAT bad, and it was good enough for the moment. You moved around around a few different pieces, including some pretty heavy pieces. Collapsing onto the couch, Suwoo pulled out a block of chocolate for you both to share and some lemonade. After scrolling through Netflix for a minute or so, your suggestion of the anime movie Your Name won, and the opening credits started up.

Cracking open her can of lemonade, Suwoo turns to you. “So, have you thought about going on that date yet or no?��

Suwoo has been trying desperately to have you go on a date with her little brother. He was also 19, and nice enough, but you really didn’t have any kind of spark. He seemed to feel the same way, but Suwoo was intent on having you both try out at least one date.

“No! I told you, we don’t match. He’s nice, but he’s nice as a friend and nothing more. Stop pushing it!” You say the last line loudly, giving her a joking death stare.

Grabbing the pillow next to her, Suwoo gives you a gentle thump with it. “Oh come on! You two would totally be cute together if you actually went somewhere and had fun! Just once, that’s all I’m asking!”

At your refusal, she simply thumps you again with her weaponised pillow, this time harder than the first. “You’re so annoying! Say yes, or I’ll keep thumping you!”

Realising your supposed best friend will cause you bruising if you continue your resistance, you decided the path of least resistance is probably for the best. Sighing, you give your resignation.

“Fine. We’ll go out to a club together.”

Her squeal is audible, and she happily jumps back now, pillow now sitting harmlessly back at her side. “Perfect. I knew you’d cave eventually!” A cheeky wink follows this, and she sips her lemonade victoriously.

Rolling your eyes, you feel yourself smile despite the arrangement. Suwoo was unlike anyone else you knew; she was funny and silly, and didn’t take anything seriously. Being around her was never boring, and no matter what the outcomes, you never felt hard done by any of her ‘evil genius’ plans.

The soft buzz of your phone from your lap takes your attention from your thoughts down to the screen, where the message stares back up at you.

1:10pm What do you want to eat tonight?

You typed out the words ‘just ramen will be good with me’, but then had more second thoughts. Fuck. You should spend as little time there as possible.

1:11pm I’ll eat before I come.

You sounded so mean. It wasn’t your intention, and guilt bubbles up in your stomach. Suppressing it, you remind yourself of all the reasons you couldn’t be yourself around him or when talking to him. For starters, the whole situation shouldn’t even be real. The familiar ‘fuck’ floats across your thought process, the word summarising your feelings about it all. What a potential mess. But god, he was so..everything.

The ding of your phone signifies his reply, and for some reason your heart tightens at the blunt, two letter response.

1:13pm Ok.

Was he upset? You started thinking of what you could possibly respond, wanting to make things better even though you shouldn’t. Suwoo’s slap to your leg jolts you back, pulling you out of your confusing emotions.

“Are you gonna watch this fucking thing or not? It was your choice babe, and I’m sure your brother can wait!” Her look is justifiably annoyed, so you instantly turn the screen off and slip the phone into your purse, where it can’t disturb you any further.

“Okay, I’m back.” You visibly roll your eyes at her again, and she mockingly does it back to you. The two of you explode with laughter, and after some more joking around you both settle back, snacking away and enjoying the rest of the movie.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Finally, you arrived back at your apartment. Checking your watch after closing the door behind you, it showed you 4:13. You hadn’t realised you’d stayed so late, but at least the two of you had finished what you’d gone for and had a much-needed catch up. Pulling your phone out, you checked it for any waiting messages.

1:47pm I’ll buy some snacks in case you’re still hungry.

2:51pm If you’re ignoring me that’s pretty mean.

4:03pm Are you still coming? Let me know.

Fuck, you’d totally forgotten about replying. However, tonight’s plans had been constantly popping into your mind. Throughout the movie, every semi-romantic moment made you think of him, and during the train ride home going to Jungkook’s tonight had been all you’d thought about.

Your reply was short, but decidedly sweeter than the others.

4:15pm Yes, I’m still coming. Sorry for taking so long.

His reply was almost instantaneous, buzzing on your marble tabletop.

4:15pm Were you busy, Y/N?

You decided to reply honestly. It wouldn’t hurt to tell him about your day, surely.

4:16pm Yea, I was. We sat down and watched a movie, so I totally forgot to message you back. I only just got home, actually.

You waited for a few minutes, expecting to see typing bubbles pop up or a new message flash onto the screen. After nothing came up, you put the phone down somewhat reluctantly. You liked talking to Jungkook, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. There was undeniably something between you two, and you weren’t sure you liked it. It was…emotional, but also overly sensual. Sexual even. It was like two magnets being drawn to one another.

You plugged your phone into the kitchen charger, and headed for your bedroom. Jungkook had said you could take a taxi there at 5, since the boys were heading out early. You had agreed, since this meant you would most likely be able to leave earlier as opposed to later. Looking over your wardrobe, you found yourself reaching for a little black dress you owned, but rarely wore. It was tight, and showed off your cleavage. It’s thin straps and plunging neckline were attractive, and the length came to you mid-thigh. You were tempted, but shook yourself. What were you doing? This wasn’t a date.

You instead grabbed a light grey overall dress, which complimented your hips rather than your breasts. It looked much more acceptable, and you brushed out your hair to a shine before tugging on some white converse with light pink ankle socks, which frilled at the top. You looked cute, sure, but definitely not sexy. Which was a good think, you supposed. Heading back out to the kitchen, you checked your phone for the time, but the text caught your eye first.

4:30pm I just got home too, and I’m showering first. The boys are all leaving in 10, so you can definitely be here by 5. I’ve told the front desk to let you up, but you’ll have to show ID. And don’t worry Y/N, they’re really professional, no one will find out.

4:31pm I’m really looking forward to seeing you.

Your reply is too flirty for your own good, and you only regret it once it’s sent.

4:32pm Ditto.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

The taxi dropped you off out the front of Hannam the Hill, one of the most luxurious and expensive apartments in Seoul. In order to even get to the front of the reception, you’d already had to show ID to three different people. After thoroughly checking it and calling multiple different people, they’d finally let your taxi pass through. The whole time you’d been messaging Jungkook, but he hadn’t replied, which had made the whole ordeal harder and more stressful. You had no clue who they’d called or told, but you felt somewhat relieved to have even been let through.

Paying the taxi, they turned and sped back out. You headed into the reception building, which was modern and undeniably expensive. Living somewhere like this would be almost out of a dream, you thought as you approached the woman. You told her you were there for the boys’ apartment, mentioning it by number only. Asking for your ID, you willingly passed it across to her. Smiling, she nodded and buzzed you through, giving you an elevator key.

The elevator was gold and red, exuding money. In your plain dress you felt out of place, and after everything that had happened to get in you felt almost embarrassed. Checking your phone, it buzzed in your hand just as the screen lit up.

4:56pm Shit, I’m sorry! I was showering. Did you make it up okay? Is everything good? Where are you?

The elevator ping sounded, and the doors opened out to a small corridor leading to a front door. Taking a deep breath, you walked up and ran the bell.

The door opened within a few anxious seconds, and a wet-haired and shirtless Jungkook answered the door. A towel tied around his waist, his abs were within your reach, glistening and defined. His muscles are…unbelievable. Jerking your eyes up to his equally handsome face, his eyes are amused and his smile cocked to the side.

“Like what you see?” His voice is teasing, and hot blush spreads across your cheeks. Indignant, you snap back a reply.

“It’s okay, I guess. Are you going to let me in, or just stand there?” Smiling, he opens the door wider and you get a glimpse at the modern, expensive interior.

Fuck.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hi! So, the next chapter is going to be...super smut! After this the story really picks up, don’t worry - I have big plans for it! If I’ve made any mistakes (like typos or anything) please message me so I can fix them! Thanks :)

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callumturncr · 6 years

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A Different Path [Sirius Black AU] - Part 1

Summary: Post-graduation AU in which the reader, Lily and The Marauders have just joined the Order of the Phoenix. As tensions are at its highest in the First Wizarding War, the reader, who likes Sirius Black more than she would like to admit, is framed for the murder of Marlene McKinnon.

Parts: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 – 8

Gif is not mine. Words: 2k.

A soft whoosh signaled that she’d arrived. Stepping out of the bright green flames that had transported her to the Ministry of Magic, Y/N gazed around in wonder at the Atrium. Many wizards and witches poured into the hall through the many ornate fireplaces lining the corridor and in the center, a few feet away stood a towering fountain. As much as she wanted to go over to inspect it further, one look at her watch told her she was later than she would’ve liked to be on her first day. Heels clicking on the polished floor, she set off for Level 2 which was home to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.

As she walked, Y/N tugged subconsciously at her new, midnight blue robes. It had been a few months since she’d graduated from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she missed her friends desperately (despite having seen her closest friend, Lily Evans, only last week). Her pace quickened with the prospect of meeting them all again and in no time, she was standing in front of the particular chamber Dumbledore had instructed her to come to. Straightening her robes once more, she pushed open the door.

The chamber itself was quite small for the Ministry’s standards and the paintings of previous ministers hanging on the walls dwarfed it even more. Y/N shuddered with the realization she could probably name most of them – thanks to her incredibly tedious History of Magic lessons back at Hogwarts. At the far end stood a table piled with food and hovering next to it stood a redhead she knew all too well, along with James Potter. A voice called out for her as she started towards them.

“Y/N!”

Turning around, she saw none other than a beaming Sirius Black striding towards her.

“Hello Sirius,” she said as she returned his smile. “You look well.”

Once he was close enough to see her properly, he stopped in his tracks. His dark grey eyes gave her a once over before an even larger grin came over his face.

“Your hair.”

Y/N rolled her eyes before nodding at him. It had taken Lily the better part of an hour to convince her to do something different – and permanent – with it when they had stopped at a Muggle salon so Lily could get a haircut. Y/N had insisted that there was no need to go in the first place, she could cut Lily’s hair herself but the latter had insisted using magic was dangerous, let alone wandless magic (which Y/N was quite accomplished at). Besides, Lily had said, you’ll be able to see the Muggle world, you’re always saying you want to!

One of Sirius’ fingers curled around the ends; now carmine red and bleeding up into black. Playfully tugging he said, “Pretty. It suits you.”

Y/N turned her head before he could see her flush and instead tugged his arm so they could make their way to where Lily and James were still standing. James smiled as he caught sight of them.

“Hey you two. Dumbledore is about to start speaking soon. Y/N here, have a muffin,” he handed one to her and batted away Sirius’ hand as he reached out to take one. “Piss off Sirius. You’ve had five already.”

“Have not! You wouldn’t know anyways you’ve been here the entire time talking to Evans–”

“Let’s find our seats guys,” interjected Lily and she steered James away, Sirius and Y/N following suit. They sat down near the front, joined by Remus and Peter. The latter seemed a little jittery which was quite different compared to how confident he acted at Hogwarts, she thought. As much as she tried to hide it, Y/N didn’t like Peter Pettigrew and she could never pinpoint for what exact reason this was. Always hiding in Sirius and James’ shadow, Pettigrew had vigorously cheered on their treatment of Severus Snape (the former two however had grown well out of their ways). As incredibly unpleasant as Snape was, no one deserved to be bullied, although taking Remus’ lane and staying out of it herself hadn’t been much better either.

“Welcome,” boomed the voice of Albus Dumbledore, cutting short her train of thought.

“I thank you all for joining me here today and for agreeing to be a part of the Order of the Phoenix. What we are trying to achieve here will be extremely trying not to mention dangerous; you will all be given as much responsibility as the Ministry places on its Aurors.” In her peripheral vision she thought she saw Sirius perk up because Marlene McKinnon had just walked in. Slightly late and looking sheepish, she slid into the chair next to Y/N, who shot her a smile before returning her attention to Dumbledore.

“As all of you know, dark times lie ahead. Lord Voldemort gains more and more supporters every day and has the backing of most ancient pure-blood families in the wizarding world. I advise constant vigilance to all of you and once again, thank you for your contribution to the Order.”

Lily was muttering something about Dumbledore’s speech but before Y/N could turn to hear properly, another voice called out.

“All the Hogwarts students come to me!”

It was Alastor Moody. Glancing around at her group of friends, Y/N was relieved to see all of them looking just as baffled. Slowly, they shuffled over to where he was standing.

“Dumbledore has placed you all directly under me,” he began gruffly. As he spoke, he looked around the circle as if sizing them all up. “These first few weeks I will send you to sort out minor inconveniences to the Ministry. I want no fooling around.” He eyed James and Sirius specifically. “I may send you on these tasks alone or with a partner. You will report back to me on whatever you find at the scene.”

“He’s brilliant you know,” Sirius leaned over to whisper, “Caught almost all of the Death Eaters they’ve put in Azkaban so far. Best Auror the Ministry has right now.”

“Black!”

Sirius’ eyes snapped back to Moody. Y/N froze, terrified. With his stark black robes and stiff posture, he reminded her largely of Professor McGonagall but even stricter (which Y/N didn’t think was even possible). While her old teacher had put up with Sirius, this was the Ministry and she expected Moody to be furious at him for interrupting. Even James looked at his friend with wide eyes.

“Sorry Sir, I was just–”

“Since you’re so eager, you can go to the first house Crouch wants checked. And take your friend with you,” he barked. His hasty look made Y/N snap out of her state.

“O-of course Sir. We’ll go right away,” Y/N gave a quick nod before pulling Sirius away. They walked at brisk pace, out of the chamber and back down to Level Eight where the Atrium was. Y/N gave him a light shove as he stepped into the green flames.

“I can’t believe you got us into trouble on the first day!”

As the familiar feeling of being forced through a sinkhole engulfed them both, she thought she heard him laughing.

“How was your holiday?” she asked as they walked.

“Very good actually. Better now that we don’t have school anymore and I didn’t have to go back to see my family,” answered Sirius, smiling bitterly.

Y/N nodded and then to diffuse some tension, poked Sirius in the side and added, “And because of Marlene. Lily tells me you guys were barely out of each other’s company for more than a few days.”

A blush came over his cheeks and he gave her a good natured shove.

“That too, yes,” he paused. “How come you didn’t come over to James’ that day? Lily said you weren’t feeling well but you wrote to me only two days before saying everything was fine.”

Y/N hadn’t gone because she had been unsure whether to join the Order in the first place. The shame had risen in her throat like bile with the realisation and there was no way of avoiding the topic if she’d gone to James’. More than that, she wasn’t sure she could’ve faced seeing Sirius and Marlene together. Of course, Lily knew all this and had simply made an excuse but Y/N couldn’t reveal this now.

“I… I just wanted sometime to myself to really think if… if this is what I want to do.” She fiddled with her fingers as she avoided looking at him. “At Hogwarts I threw myself into my studies because I was convinced the Auror career path was the one I wanted to take. When Dumbledore told me about the Order, I was hesitant to agree.”

It wasn’t a complete lie, what she told him. Sirius didn’t say anything and only stared at her intently, prompting her to continue.

“You guys knew immediately that you wanted to join, no matter how dangerous. I– I don’t know if it has anything to do with you all being in Gryffindor or anything but I just wanted to think it through before I agreed and...”

Sirius had reached out to squeeze her hand. The action startled Y/N for a second but she recovered quickly enough so he wouldn’t notice. “Seeing all of you guys again before I agreed to come would’ve made me choose this just for my friends you know? To be together with all of you and I didn’t want that to be the only reason.”

“I understand.” She had never heard his voice this soft. “And you don’t have to justify it Y/N, I just wanted to know if you were okay.”

Y/N opened her mouth to carry on but Sirius beat her to it.

“It’s got nothing to do with houses either. I know you’ve felt out of place being the only Hufflepuff among us but your reaction was normal. I… I also reconsidered after agreeing.”

Sirius was glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, like he feared her judgment. Y/N tried not to let her surprise show on her face.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. This Order stuff is like Dumbledore said, Auror work without all the training and I didn’t know if I was good enough to do it. My mother’s voice in my head certainly reminded me.”

“Sirius that’s– that’s rubbish. You were one of the best students in our year – top grades as well as mastering non-verbal magic, you were the one who taught me remember? And you became an Animagi, albeit illegally. Even McGonagall said you were at the top which is very high praise,” he rolled his eyes playfully as she continued.

“You will be good at this, I know you will. And if you ever have doubts again just imagine the look on your mother’s face when she finds out you’ve gone and joined an organization that wants to protect Muggle-borns.”

It was at this stage she realized that Sirius still had not let go of her hand. Looking up at him, Y/N saw that he was grinning.

“That is a very impressive list. Do you often think of my accomplishments to know them off by heart like that?”

Y/N snatched her hand back and poked him in the ribs hard. Sirius’ loud laugh echoed around the neighborhood.

“Only teasing Y/N, you know how much–”

She cut him off with a huff.

“I think this is the house.”

Sirius spoke again before she could knock.

“Thank you Y/N. You how much it means to me. This is year is going to be fun.”

“Of course,” she replied curtly. “Living in mortal peril is always fun. I should know, I was a first-hand witness of your pranks.”

“Always the responsible one. Maybe it is a house thing–”

“Sirius!”

Chuckling, he raised a hand to knock and Y/N shook her head as he greeted the woman that opened the door.

It was going to be a long year.

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