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#it's because that boy was a whole mess
hcdragonwrites · 9 months
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Tangled Love
(A @semisolidmind Drabble)
Ok! I ran this by Semi before I posted just because I know absolutely nothing about LMK (except the animation can be so pretty!) just so I could get their characters down. I hope you all like it !
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She just wanted to escape- both from this place and from her own mind tonight.
The ghosts of memories were walking and she had no distractions to chase them away.
Peaches walked the cool cavern halls of Water- Curtain Cave, her feet echoing in the depths. The sandals she wore and the ornamental clothing she had been thrown into made her scalp prickle and her skin itch. It was too much- but the attendants wouldn’t hear a thing about it.
She had to look the part of Queen.
Peaches, in the absence of the Lord of the mountain and his right hand and sword, was the remaining voice of authority.
To a point.
Finishing with courtly duties and listening in on behalf of her husbands wasn't a huge chore. The two of them rarely left at the same time however. If one was called away the other would remain. Or Peaches herself would be brought along.
This time however she hadn’t been.
It was the first time in ten years.
She had just this night- just this moment of reprieve and she would make the most of it. Or so she thought. Instead, she was fighting something that reared its head and struck her nerves like a asp.
However she wasn’t alone quite yet. As she rounded the corner and came to golden lacquered doors of her bedchamber - their bedchamber- she paused.
“Will that be all my queen?” One of the attending retinue of her guard asked. It was a guard her husbands insisted upon whenever both were away from home- a set of seven of the most battle scarred simians Peaches had ever seen.
They were tasked and sworn with following her everywhere - to the dining hall, to the throne room. If she wished to go and sit among the apple trees and listen to the wind play over the mountain grasses her guard would double in size. Peaches tried to not cause the denizens of Flower fruit mountain any more problems or stressors by going outside when both the King and his Brother in arms were away on a war path.
Her husbands.
It’s what they titled themselves now, after a decade of the terrible start they had on their relationship with her. When she had met the two, they had been just tiny monkeys. A sly looking ginger and gold monkey who had loved to cling to her arms and a dark black furred monkey that brought her fruits and almonds from the wild.
My sweet boys.
They had been her monkeys back then- the little prankster angels she had thought were just simple beasts, trying to survive out in the world.
She had been wrong.
The decision to upend her life, she guessed, had been floated around for months between the two disguised demons as they ate her fruit and enjoyed her touches. It was a mutual one that both had decided was the best option for her.
She took a steadying breath, coming back to the present. Peaches wanted a chance to be alone. Something so rare she craved it like a man in a desert craved water.
“Yes, general. I think I’ll retire early for the day.” She smiled at the monkey who dipped his body into a bow. The gleam of his armor set the flickers of a memory brewing. Fire in the trees, the smell of iron on the wind and a figure among the debris. She shook her head to dislodge it. The rest of them weren’t awful to her. Her husbands weren’t awful to her. They had just ….
Taken away her decisions.
“Very well Queen.” Peaches flinched, unable to quite stomach the title and what that truly meant. If I am queen then why am I without choices? “If you need us call us.”
She turned the handle in the door and slipped in side with as much grace as she could muster.
Peaches closed the ornamental doors to the bedroom, resting her head against the door. Steady. Deep breaths. In through her nose out through her mouth.
The illusion of a paradise that Wukong had built and Macaque helped facilitate always lost its color and believability when they were away. They couldn’t feed her the sugared lies and candied perceptions to tamp back the memories of that night.
It had been just another night on the small farm - a June night of heat and singing cicadas- of windows wide open and Peaches trying to escape that heat. There wasn’t much she could do to escape it. The moisture clung to her and made her bedding stick and clog her nose. So on these nights she stayed up, usually with a candle or the moon to illuminate her night, and read.
The knock on the door was not something typical.
The memory was rising and she couldn’t hold it back. I have to ride it out. Survive it.
Like she had survived that night. Getting visitors in the dead of the night had been unconventional- and she remembered the feeling of being perturbed. Don’t answer it, she told the memory. But this was the past and ghosts of the past didn’t change their course.
She had closed her book, had stepped down the hall to the door and had opened it.
I should have called through- told him to stay away! I should have never left my bed or my book.
It was a drunk man. A fellow farm hand called in for one of the families to help bring in a harvest that had proved too bountiful for the immediate family to handle. Peaches could see the man before her eyes, smell the reek of him.
A drunk.
“Well ain’t it the village spinster! Whaaa da pretty thing you are!” He was a cloud of bitter rice wine, of too much sake on his breath. The intensity of it had a physical effect on her memory and in the present, Peaches wrinkled her nose.
“You should go home Sir.” She had told him- tried to close the door.
His foot moved faster and his hands had caught the door.
A wild set of emotions swept through her. She had to sit her body down, thankful she had been able to get away from the other monkeys before the memory seized her like a vice. They would have been in a panic over her and she couldn’t let their little hearts worry so. There was nothing they could do to stop the remembering.
It was his fault this all happened. It was His. He didn’t have to be drunk and show up at my home- he didn’t have to shove his way into my house and try and grab me.
But he was just a single man. Did his actions warrant the destruction that happened next ?
“Get out!” Her memory self cried. The wooden table she danced behind as the drunk stumbled and moved towards her, was her only shield.
“The Boys Said you prefer the company of wild animals …” his speech was hard to hear. The wine had made him bold, stupid, and aroused it seemed. “I thought I would give you mtaste of what a real man was, since the villagers are al’ ‘fraid of your Witchery with monkeys.”
She had run- she had thrown her things at him. It was probably the commotion of her breaking a pitcher over his head that had alerted her monkeys. The loud clatter of the pottery across the floor had sounded so sharp and final. It had only made the man more determined.
The drunk when he did get his hands on her was furious. He swung a fist and sent stars into her eyes. Peaches had clung like a wildcat to her conscious, kicking out with legs and swinging with fists. Her nose was full of the sour smell of him- had felt his hands and fought them. A kick to his groin had sent him wheezing. Another fist to her head had Peaches crying. She had stared that drunk in his mean little eyes as he whispered the terrible things he wanted to do to her.
She had been staring in those eyes when he died.
He never got to touch more than her arms that night.
Peaches heard something step through the door that had been left open to the night. She had heard the creak of her house as something walked within it. And the sound of something- like a water skin being popped and a splash of warm liquid against her belly had shocked her.
The Drunks eyes went wide with confusion, rolling horselike in his head. His bruising grip on her wrist had let go. In the present, She rubbed those wrists, the phantom pains hard.
“..mah… belly.” The drunk had mumbled then belched a bucket of blood onto the floor. Peaches could see something protruding from his middle- something long and thin like a stick. Or a staff.
Clawed hands pulled the head back and twisted with a fury. The sound of bones breaking was loud, as if a fire was consuming dry wood. The drunk crumbled in those hands like a puppet cut free of its strings.
A new stranger stood in her home, his frame large and broad and most assuredly not human. He tossed the body like someone would toss a rag across the floor. The glowing eyes in the sudden dark were all she could see. Her mind, even in its heightened adrenaline drenched state, recognized the face pattern, saw a familiarity in the fur. There was, in fact, still a little flower tucked against this demonic creatures ear. The same flower she had interwoven in her forest friend's fur that afternoon.
“Your… your my…”
Nerves and the come down from the adrenaline high we’re making speech hard. The monkey demon before her, who’s eyes seemed to spit fire, softened. Just a bit.
“You are my Peaches.” Wukong said, touching her hair, her face, her hands. Taking stock. Then he had taken those limp hands and threaded them through his fur, trying to get them to grip. It would help his own rage and calm her fear. It was thick in the air, ruining the natural sweet smell she had. That and the slab of flesh on the floors own fetid death scent.
Wukong was not the best at this - this comfort thing. But he would rise to the occasion. He would try for her.
Fury and rage made his tail lash and the fur along his neck to stand on end.
At first she had just been a simple human that would leave little offerings to him and his brother in arms. An oddity here in the shadow of his mountain. Most humans around here feared the monkeys and kept away from all of them, having a legend that if one was harmed a great calamity would befall them.
Wukong didn’t mind being that calamity. These were his people, his subjects. So hearing the chatter from some of his kind that a women had begun to leave out gifts had of course spiked the Kings curiosity. The humans beneath Flower Fruit Mountain were his lesser subjects. So he had come down from the mountain, disguising himself as a smaller and more approachable sized monkey, to see the fuss his subjects had started gossiping about at groomings. Only to see his brother, Macaque, already being petted and tended and kissed on each of his six ears.
Of course first impressions had been terrible and Wukong, used to getting the first pick of everything, had come screeching into the clearing and demanding his own pets. It had set off a very small and very mock little battle between the two brothers in arms. One that had Peaches separating them and scolding them as she patched up the little scratches they had taken from eachother. They could have each resisted her pull but both decided that play acting a fight, even if it had started as a bit of one, was the best way to get attention divided between the both of them.
Wukong hadn’t expected to become infatuated. Her name didn’t matter to him- he had rebranded her almost the instant she came to him and offered a smile and held out a handful of sugar and dates. Peaches. After the Kings own favorite fruit, the sweetest thing the mountain produced.
His Peaches.
Of course also Macaques. He shared everything with his brother, the dark furred and six eared demon who had faced battles and won wars besides Wukong. While Wukong had been more leery, Peaches won him over faster than Flower Wine loosened his rigid posture. They had both fallen for this mortal women. And, in the traditional way she belonged to them. She just didn’t know it yet. They had touched and groomed and cuddled and tangled limbs and tails. They were practically married without the marriage bit.
Wukong rubbed small circles into Peaches back, trying to keep himself from bearing his teeth in rage.
I should have taken her home the moment she kissed me.
They had been kisses of the kind one gives to a friend or pet. It had left the warlord craving more burning with more.
Of wanting to feel her give him more than just a chaste kiss on the side of his face.
She wouldn’t have been hurt if he had just taken her home.
Wukong and Macaque had taken to one or both spending the night in Peaches trees, to keep an eye on her. Wukongs obsession had grown into a fascination and warm buttery love. A love that was becoming a wild inferno as he fought to stay still and not leap upon the corpse he had made and turn it into nothing but bits of flesh and gore the crows could carry away.
His Peaches fingers finally grasped his fur and shook. It brought Wukong back from his montage of rage to the present. If only Mac was here — but he wasn’t. He was back at home on Flower Fruit mountain , giving his brother the night to enjoy and keep lookout at Peaches den.
“That’s my girl.” The demon tried to soothe. He really wished he could set Peaches down and finish off what he had started. This place had been bad. This village terrible. He hated every thing and one here that had dared to let a drunken fool up to his Peaches doorstep and allowed this to happen. In reality Wukong was mad it had been Mac’s own sense of importance on taking it slow and letting a little thing like a life outside of Flower Fruit Mountain stop him from from revealing who he was and taking her home.
I am done trying to woo her over slowly. They could have lost her this night if Wukong hadn’t been in earshot, hadn’t heard the crash of something breaking. His clawed hands wrapped around her back and beneath her legs. Before he could realize it, Wukong had her up and in his arms, already stepping on and across the corpse and out into the June air. Mine.
“Let’s get you home, lovely.” Wukongs voice was thick with emotion. Relief to finally, finally, finally have an excuse to take his wife home, to see her sleep in a real bed and eat real food made his heart swell. No more pretending. No more longing. It was happening now. Simmering beneath that emotion was the sweet bubble, the red misting rage, of violence. Once he got her home, got her safe, got her tangled within some of his and Macaques blankets to where the sour smell of fear would be lost within the scent of them- he could come back. He would come back.
He would destroy the village for being the obstacle it was in his conquest for this mortal girls heart. It was in itself, a relief to know he was justified in its destruction.
Look what this place did to bruise my sweet fruit.
Peaches was shaking. Clinging to him. I would have her cling to me always. He pressed his nose into her neck, breathing in as he walked off. She smelled so good. He rubbed his face to hers, affectionately smothering her fear scent. Wukong felt a smile curl his face. Finally. We can go home and put the charade to bed. Finally you are mine.
Peaches' memory of that night was mostly of clinging to Wukong as they flew through the air, of his voice a rumble of soft words and comforts. He was holding her close, pressing her in. Smothering her in a sense. But she needed it. She clung to it in a way to stop herself from being sick from fright. It was strange but familiar to hold this fur, to cling. Then she briefly remembered another voice, another set of hands. When she looked up and saw that her sweet dark monkey was also here, had also been a demon in disguise, something broke in her. Maybe hysteria. Maybe disbelief. Or maybe she knew, somewhere in her mind, that no matter what she said now wouldn’t save the people- the innocents- in her village.
Peaches had been transferred into the dark arms and THATS where she finally began to cry. The shock was fading and leaving behind ragged holes of emotion.
“Safe, you're safe now.” She was reassured. Hands had lifted her chin, her sweet little monkey- now a demonic one- was gently beginning to sponge away the blood from the cuts on her face. Her cheek swelled, her eye with it.
“Please don’t kill them.” She begged. “He already took care of the one who hurt me don’t kill my village.”
“Hush love…”
“Please!”
Silence. Something cold pressed to her face- a bit of snow from far up the mountain wrapped in cloth. Macaques ears twitched like flower petals in the night air.
“It’s already done. The village is already gone.”
The memory rode itself out in the present and faded slowly.
Guilt washed over her and she cried all for a new reason. She had been the catalyst for Sun Wukongs fury. She had been the decider to his want of destruction. Peaches may not have killed them, may have had a decade to realize that what had happened wasn’t her fault, but Wukong had done it in her name. He had erased that village and all its people like a cartographer reshapes a map. To all the rest of the world, their had never been a village in the shadow of Flower fruit mountain. Not a foundation, not a brick, not even a spare hair, was left of humanity there. Instead it had been cleared as if a fire had swept through. Peaches had seen it on one occasion when Wukong had been persuaded to show her. She had needed closure. Needed the peace.
Once she had healed she had been told her village was gone. She had been given a sweet lie- that Wukong had gone back and the villagers related to the drunk had been ransacking her house to see where she kept the money or any spare wine.
When Wukong had shown up demanding they answer to the crime committed in her home, they had attacked. Wukong had enacted a king's justice as was his right. He had told the remaining villagers to leave- to never set foot upon his domain again for the lawlessness that had been enacted upon their neighbor.
It had taken two years for her to be able to relax whenever he came in smelling of fire and iron. It had taken a few years more for her to remember what Macaque had said when he had pressed snow to her face.
They were the same little monkeys they had been before. But now they had less innocence when they pressed into her face for kisses, when they asked to tangle and cuddle limbs. They insisted she stay in the bedchamber and not move to her own separate room.
It had taken getting used to movement beside her as a hand tugged her hair, or a tale twined her waist. Or a leg curled with hers or hands holding her face. Sometimes in the dark Mac would press his head to her back, using her as a pillow. Wukong would yank her in when he thought her too sleepy to remember and whisper all the things he loved about her.
It would have been sweet. It was touching in a way. If not for the way they revealed themselves. If not for that memory and what she knew now had come after.
It had not taken too long after that for her to start realizing that, though Wukong had saved her, neither of them had any regret of what happened. Neither of them was going to let her go.
When she asked about it or started talking of missing her home- the simple living, the ability to really on herself and choose for herself- Wukong would laugh and launch into one of his tales. He would brush her hair with his claws, run his face against hers and try and deflect her attention to new things.
Macaque, if Wukong was absent, would let her talk. Usually it happened when he asked her to brush his fur or he in turn asked to brush her hair. Peaches thought, just a bit, that the reason Mac was better at listening was for all the ears he had. Each time however, when she got to the part about how this had been her fault, he would stop mid way through a braid or pin and pull her in. Macaque would kiss the tears from her eyes, would press himself close to her chest.
“It was Never your fault Peaches.”
“I remember. I remember he went back- you said he—“
“Hush love you’ll grow hysterical. What Wukong did was justified- he defended you.”
“He killed.”
“I have killed.” He kissed her temple, gentle in his reprimands. He wouldn’t try and brush her words beneath a rug like Wukong. Instead he gave her a smile as wide as the crescent moon. “Let’s finish your hair and get you dressed. We can go see the baby’s, I know how you love the baby’s.” Baby monkeys were her weakness. They had been what led to her loving Mac before she had known he was a demonic warlord.
Peaches rubbed at her eyes and stood, the sorrow in her heart heavy still but the tears at least had stopped. Now she was just tired. Tired and cold and wanting to escape the feeling of it all. So she shed her courtly attire. All the clips and jewels and baubles and bits felt heavy. She placed them within the box at her armoire, then loosened her hair from its bindings. Jade pins, pearl necklaces, golden bracelets with bells of silver (Wukong loved this the best of all) all glimmered back in the firelight.
A pretty price.
She snapped the box closed.
On nights like this, she wanted to wear nothing but her smock, her simple clothing, and bury herself as far as she could go into the bed she shared with her husbands.
It was more of a pit set into the ground, circular in nature. Silken pillows, red sheets and a hoard of anything plush and furred had been thrown into the pit. It was also a snug place to bury herself within and one of the few things she didn’t feel resentment too right away. When the outside felt too bright and she couldn’t go about the mountain to her usual quiet places, she would retire here. To burrow, to bury, to hide.
Peach fell back into the pit of blankets and pillows and pulled herself beneath a fur of some striped monster Macaque had skinned and gifted to her. Tonight the bitter truth was hard to swallow and did circles in her head.
You did this. You caused this. You killed them. This is your fault.
She closed her eyes and hoped … hoped for what might be the worst thing yet. Her husband's return.
A time later she stirred. Something was in her room- was walking to the bed. Peaches felt a flutter of fear before hands reached into her hiding place and simply slid her out.
“Hello darling.” The silken voice belonged to none other than Macaque. His clawed hands entwined around her waist, his teeth nipping at her ear. “You are up late.”
“Does that mean it will be a late morning?” Wukongs voice came from the other side of the room. Peaches could see the ginger monkey removing armor from his shoulders and stretching. As the darker brother kept making a snack of her shoulder, Peaches noticed that the shine of Wukongs paldrom was dimmed. Something black coated the golden imprint of sunbursts across its armored surface. “I love late mornings! Means more time together.”
Blood?
“Peaches?” She turned her head, trying to see Mac. He had left off nipping her skin. A hand came away from her wrist and tipped her chin, forcing her to stare directly into his violet eyes. “What has upset you?”
Everything. Myself. Wukong. You. It was that simple question that set her sorrow to flowing again. She was confused, upset, and she wanted comfort. The only ones who could give her comfort were the very ones who caused her distress.
A vicious cycle.
The pillows behind her sagged. Wukongs hands were more aggressive in their touches, turning her about to stare into her face. He noted the tears, the bruising beneath her eyes. His lip curled in anger.
“Has someone upset you?” Wukong asked. He seemed ready to stand again, to grab his armor and step out into the night. “I will drag them here to give an apology. You name them and I will fetch them.”
Peaches shook her head.
“Just ….” You killing the villagers, Macaque telling me plainly that it was for the best, and my own head making me relive that night of events. Over and over and over.
“…. Myself.”
His face softened as he chirped a reassurance, pressing his nose to hers. Macaque peppered her in gentle and butterfly soft kisses to the back of her neck. The three fell back into the nest, limbs entwined and hands holding. Macaque had Peaches face buried in his chest as she sobbed silently. He cooed. He whispered how everything would be right as rain in the morning. His hands ran through her hair and messaged her scalp. Wukong held his Peaches, pressing her back to his chest in a solid wall against the world outside. He lavished her in praises and compliments, sometimes getting carried away and talking about himself until his brother would remind him with a flick to his forehead that it was their Peaches he should be reassuring.
And through it all, through this twisted and tangled weave of limbs and fur and warmth and sorrow, Peaches felt love. It grew in this dark place still, wanting to thrive. But how could it?
Still she fell asleep, lashes sparkled with tears and her heart lighter. One could only be sad so long in the wake of such waves of attention. Wukongs and Macaques love was the only solution to this ailment they had inflicted upon her, and she, the addict, swallowing the medicine that would give her release.
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getvalentined · 22 days
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I understand people giving Lucrecia the benefit of the doubt with regard to what she did to Vincent, just like I understand people not realizing how undeniably fucked up Gast was, but the important thing to keep in mind about these characters is that the majority of them are written as being in the throes of some pretty extreme cognitive dissonance.
It's not bad writing, it's that they're hypocrites. They reached a moral event horizon at some point, and they did what they felt they had to do when crossing it.
Gast abandoned a child because he wasn't what he wanted—even having raised Sephiroth up until that point and knowing that he was a pretty normal kid overall, as we can see from his behavior as a young teen in Ever Crisis, Gast still couldn't bear to continue to be responsible for a monster. He knew what Hojo was capable of, because he knew about what happened to Vincent, because it happened in his lab, and he left a literal child in his care anyway. Sephiroth's only crime was not being what Gast thought he was, and Gast damned him to a lifetime of torture under a "father" whose only goal was to use him to prove his own genius. Why? Because Gast had a goal, and the goal was what mattered, the ends justified any means he could devise. He was a man obsessed, driven to the verge of madness in his lust for the Promised Land. A religious zealot with the most powerful scientific team in the world at his disposal, ready to prove him right—and then he wasn't right, and the whole world fell apart underneath him. Ifalna gave him back that stability, because she was a real Ancient, and she gave him a new, better child to care for. A child that wasn't a monster, a child that was his, a child that might one day lead him to the Promised Land, if her mother didn't do so first. When Aerith was born, Gast got to be right again, and therefore all was right with the world. Sephiroth (like Genesis before him) may as well have never existed at all.
Lucrecia openly experimented on a man who loved her enough to die for her, going so far as to apparently use data from those experiments to improve her own academic standing, because she couldn't bear the guilt of being responsible for his death. It wasn't about whether it was the right thing to do, it wasn't about whether she loved him back, it wasn't even about her thesis at that point—she just couldn't continue to live having lost everything as a result of her own impatience, her own lack of regard for everyone around her. She killed her mentor through her own impatience, she gave up her son for experimentation, she didn't stop her husband from experimenting on her ex-lover, and she had nothing to show for it but crippling Jenova toxicosis and an equally crippling cowl of regret.
I could even go into Hojo here, how what he did to Sephiroth was a result of struggling to escape Gast's shadow, how what he did to Vincent was a result of him struggling to prove that he deserved his wife, how everything he did was born from the all-consuming need to do just one thing for which no one else could take credit. Hojo got the director position not because he earned it, but because Gast ran away. Hojo got Lucrecia not because he wooed her, but because he didn't have eyes like the unrequited first love that she killed. Hell, Project S only happened because Project G failed! Nothing Hojo has ever had that was worth anything was because of his work, only because the work of others failed. Why do you think he talks about "failures" the way he does? The failure of others is the only reason he's gotten so far, and he knows that any failure of his own will knock him right off that pedestal—and he's terrified.
None of these people are good people. I don't know that any of them ever were. But in their eyes, everything they did was justified, they took the right course of action, because they took the only course of action that their personal understanding of reality would allow them to take.
Were any of them actually right? Probably not. Certainly not, in some cases. But there's no going back on it now. The arrow has left the bow of the goddess, and there's no calling it back.
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vilelittlecritter · 8 months
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"YoU cAnT liKe ThAt ChArAcTeR tHeY [bad action which is integral to the story and why the story is so good in the first place]"
My brother in Christ,
They are not real.
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crispywizardtale · 5 months
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First of all Willi is gorgeous.
And now to my little ramble... it's the eye contact for me and the parted lips and the small eyebrow raise which you can barely see but I see it all too well! The way he dropped his gaze to his lips... He looks hazed and and lost in Focuses eyes or actually his presence, he is so I love with Focus and you can really see even if they have like 2 minutes of screen time all together
Focus not breaking the eye contact while having the biggest smile on his face. Tell me you are whipped without telling me you are whipped... and that small and slow blink... I can't do this
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I know that Willi can kiss but I still had to pause when he kissed Focus because damn boy... I never kissed anyone so I won't talk about kisses much but that FELT deep! If I'm being honest Willi probably has one of the best kisses in Thao bl industry I said what I said
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Between that hand that was on Focuses neck that moved to his leg and that other hand on his back I don't know which one is driving me more insane... Or perhaps it's the the fact that Focus is actually sitting on his lap??? Or or the fact that Focus had to groud himself by putting his hand on the wall???????
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This one is just a gif I have nothing to say about it I have so much to say but I can't put it to words
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Just gonna say holy shit Focus... But also his abs.. he looks amazing which isn't a surprise if his partner is Willi who love gym. I also wish we got more of this cut because Willi was about to put his head on his tiny waist and I just love seeing that
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My God Willi that hand of your... that had is... from touching the lower belly to climbing up to his shoulder and back... there is something just so attractive about it and it's making me go insane. I am also not sure why they made Willi so wet they just started the activity he shouldn't be sweaty already but who am I to complain Willi looks even better
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THE BITING?!?!?!?! THE BITING?!?!?! He was insane for that and I love it even more but not only the tiddies but the collarbone later...
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I wasn't gonna include this gif but I had to when I rewatched it. The fuck me eyes Focus is giving and the parted breathless lips but also the moment he felt that Willi will pull him in he was ready.. Parting his lips even more and closing his eyes even before their lips touched. And the strong pull that Willi did on the back of his head which took him by surprise by what I see... I am not sure if that hand flying to Willis upper hand was scripted or not but to me it's more like Focus was trying to find balance after the neck pull...
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Now this part was actually amazing, Focus being breathless and throwing his head back as Willi is kissing his way down?! And Focus flexing and moving away from Willi's lips????? That is some amazing acting! It's so realistic
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And finally the collarbone biting while Focus has his hand pulling on Willi's hair and then Willi getting ready for another kiss... damn I was so not prepared but I enjoyed it. Willi can deliver amazing NC scenes hopefully this post won't get reported I spent over am hour on making this post
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hayaku14 · 1 year
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my fave hc about hakuba is that he thinks he's all prim and proper. he certainly tries to present himself as one, but the moment he's with hattori he gets sucked into their petty competitiveness where they end up throwing playground insults and basically devolving into grade schoolers; he lets himself be dragged into whatever mess kaito is cooking up, even though he should know better, because he thinks he should act as the voice of reason when in reality he's just really curious and would deny ever joining in the said act if he ever did (he does); and when he's with shinichi you'd think they'd be all fine and dandy because they both love mysteries and sherlock holmes but they quickly realize that their type of mystery books besides sherlock holmes are completely different. they also discover that they love sherlock holmes for vastly different reasons and so every Sherlock Talk turns into a heated Sherlock Debate and according to kaito and hattori, it is seriously one of the nerdiest exchanges they've ever witnessed in their entire lives.
at one point someone finally points it out to him, "hey hakuba i thought you were a really calm and unapproachable dude but you actually have no fucking chill lol"
he brings this up to shinichi and shinichi's like, "yeah you don't, why do you think hattori and kaito still likes hanging out with you even when they claim that, and i quote, "your existence is insufferable and that you have a stick up your ass."
"gee thanks, kudou."
"you're welcome."
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bones-n-bookles · 11 months
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Torch 🕯️🌙
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thesilverlady · 7 months
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in my humble opinion I think Aegon III and Viserys II are the ones who suffered the most out of all D&R's kids
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gobstoppr · 2 months
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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stromer · 1 year
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What are you feeling about connor going to chicago?🥲
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venomgaia · 3 months
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i also have been testing pngtuber+ vs veadotubemini and heres rhe fruit of a 49 layer model
#not all the emotes are shown in this lil demo theres one i keep forgetting where it is lmao#return of the coke heartthrob#i like that i made a pngtuber despite the fact that i am extremelt averse to being percieved in video formats. i used to stream more#n would do drawing streams specifically while working on projects but. ive been outta the game so long im not. too sure how i feel about#like. going back#i also did yt for like. 2 videos during lockdown to try and chronicle that whole art school mess and ended up exploding#this boy is not made for audio/video formats 💔#this is actually to test run how efficient i could be if i were to make pngtuber a commission option when i open those#this took 5 hours and all his psrts including clothing are separate and he has skin under there (i dont save the images like thst tho)#so i can swap out outfits n stuff n not have over 49 moving parts#the ONE issue with this lineless style though. is recoloring parts#i tried to do recolored mouths for s paragon model and it was a pain so i didnt rlly finish or save it.#i think i still prefer veadotubemini tbh. the blinks feel more natural in it than in pngtuber+#but i rlly like the bounce that pngtuber+ provides for just Talking#so. hit or miss#and before anyone asks no i will not be learning live2d vtubing and will not make a 3d vtuber#all of that is just too scary for me i respect everyone i see who does it WAY more now that ive like. LOOKED it over#scary shit. leaving that to the professionals#my 3d model is strictly for fun and because i like vr and vrchat. but i do not think ill ever make a vtuber in 3d.
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water-gaw · 2 years
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About Neil’s supposed obliviousness in canon: I think it’s absolutely right that Neil’s observational skills don’t equip him to recognise affection. Beyond that, though, Neil is actively invested in not recognising Andrew’s feelings. There’s a parallel in his attitude to Exy here. Look at how good he is at convincing himself that playing in Millport and Palmetto is a justifiable risk, rather than a total liability. He can only do it by not quite letting himself look at what he’s doing, and he does it because he needs it so desperately. 
It’s the same with Andrew. By TKM, Neil’s all in, but his feelings don’t manifest as sexual attraction until Andrew clues him in that that’s a possibility (this feels like quite painfully accurate demi rep. Just at me next time). But the possibility of pursuing anything with Andrew absolutely hinges on Andrew not caring. So Neil has a very real investment in believing Andrew when he says he hates Neil. Neil’s feelings don’t matter (can’t be heartbroken if you’re dead *taps two fingers to forehead*). It’s hard to resist that kind of investment, especially if questioning what you’re told would cost you something you’re desperate to have. 
Added to that, you have Andrew’s mirrored investment in refusing to accept that he cares about Neil. If he recognises that, he’s breaking his deal with Aaron, and since keeping his promises is the core of his sense of self? Yeah, he’s not looking too closely at that either. He wants Neil to believe him. He wants to believe himself. This is a whole delicately balanced ecosystem of people lying to themselves and I love it so much. 
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padfootastic · 10 months
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Your tags on that “we know nothing about the marauders so we can make it all up post”… YES wow especially the part about tagging OOC content??? What a world that would be… as it stands now there is absolutely no way to filter between canon and non-canon/canon versions of the characters.
And the overtagging! Why is Jegulus tagged on Sirius fanart? Why are all the marauders-era characters tagged on a portrait of Lupin? Why is wolfstar tagged on literally everything?? It’s straight up impossible to find specific character related content via the tags, or any content at all if you’re trying to filter out one or more of the above. How do you manage to find the content you’re looking for?
exactly!! and it’s really a bit of a doubled edged thing for me, bc i am NOT someone who enjoys canon characterisations usually (my current tirades notwithstanding and that’s really mainly bc i hate the fanon versions even more) and honestly, i’d like shit to be tagged bc i want to look for it lmao
it’s like—imagine if all fics, regardless of how they were plotted, were just ‘golden era’ or ‘marauders era’ with NO concept of canon compliant or divergence or AU or anything. u can argue ‘meh what does it matter’ but then really, that’s a question for the entire institution of tagging then, isn’t it?
as it stands, as our ~fandom social contract~ dictates, tagging is a way for us to find what we want and avoid what we don’t. having a baseline helps operationalise that. u can say ‘okay, yeah, this is a thing and i’m CHANGING it’. it’s a scientific experiment 😌 but to straight up say?? nothing is real?? like bro take ur nihilism elsewhere pls thx
and gosh. don’t even get me start on the overtagging. literally every time one of my posts gets rb’d with wolfstar, it makes me wanna scream. i can’t see my own posts. and that’s not to mention all the others that get mistagged and i keep playing roulette w them. i honestly mostly blame tumblr’s system for this bc,,,why u including everyone’s additional tags bruh. obv someone will tag what they see. that’s what we all do. why do i have to suffer for it 😭
i also think it’s bc of like,,,those auto generated text thingys? and reader insert accs who want reach? that are fully clogging the tags. atp i just go by recs and a few trusted mutuals pages lol that’s what i’d recommend to anyone similarly frustrated 💀
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Lucid’s Love Traits
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gloomythedance · 16 days
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God doesn't look at what's on the outside anyway
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apollo-zero-one · 21 days
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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designernishiki · 9 months
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today on tumblr user designernishiki’s autistic-with-a-special-interest-in-psychology deep dives: dissecting the hell out of kiryu/nishiki’s childhoods and kazama’s parenting (or lack thereof) and how it all relates to their emotional development (or lack thereof). they will never be safe from my psychoanalyses
#childhood development isn’t actually an area I have a ton of experience researching which is part of what makes this intriguing tbh#because I was basically thinking a lot about how it makes alot of sense that kazama being a semi-absent father figure would result in kiryu#idolizing and idealizing him to the (objectively unhealthy) extent that he does. because he wasn’t around super consistently kiryu would#hardly get to see/experience his flaws and have healthy disagreements and blatant differences with him and etc all-in-all making it so he’d#never really gain emotional autonomy and come to see him as a full-on person rather than an anti-hero character he wants to emulate as much#as possible. and by the time kiryu does come more face to face with kazama’s flaws and moral greyness he’s already well past the age range#where you’re supposed to develop emotional autonomy and have the most neuroplasticity to do so and thus it’s much more difficult for him#to deconstruct the idolized figure of kazama in his head. not to mention kazama died basically just as kiryu started to be confronted with#kazama’s less-than-perfect actions and traits and etc so he can’t humanize him through in-person experiences#it’s. a whole mess#I should save it for the big analysis post and not these tags fhshdjsnd#nishiki may have to be his own post completely because I feel like I’d end up having to talk about why he absolutely reads as borderline to#me and why it makes a lot of sense that certain symptoms/maladaptive thoughts/behaviors grow to be so out of control eventually#I have many thoughts about that boy and I already have many many notes on his potential bpd and image issues in general#hoo boy.#rambling
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