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bloody-wonder · 4 months

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2023 reading wrap up

sort sort sort i love to arbitrarily sort😌📚

*i decided to get even more creative this time and named the tiers after different things from the books featured on this list. see explanation below🙃 **the following series i read in full are represented only by the first book: the aurelian cycle, the radiant emperor, the winnowing flame, sorcery of thorns, monk & robot, lilywhite boys

so in 2023 my reading was heavily curated: i challenged myself to finish at least 5 series i started a long time ago, to start at least 5 new ones, to read at least 10 classics, at least 5 dark academia books, at least 10 books not in english and to re-read at least 5 books i've been meaning to re-read for some time - and i did well at all of these challenges except for the last two (missed the goal by one book in each case). it's still difficult for me to find books in languages i can read other than english which i actually want to read as well as prioritizing re-reads over new exciting books😒🤷‍♀️

but overall i would say this was a good way to organize my reading year. i like planning, i like structure, i like crossing things off different lists so completing these challenges gave me a great sense of accomplishment. but more importantly, i feel like they achieved their respective purpose: i returned to stories i fell in love with years ago and finally followed some of those journeys to their end. i discovered new fun journeys - some of them so exciting i had to finish the series immediately and some that will last me for a few more years to come. i finally feel like i trained my classics brain muscle back to its glory days and i can't express how pleasantly surprised i am to see one of those dusty tomes i read by the dozen as a teen on my top 5 again. i rediscovered my love for dark academia. i did read books in different languages and some of them ended up quite high on my tier list as well.

at the same time i had plenty of opportunities left to mood-read. boy parts, my favorite book of the year, for example wasn't a part of any challenge. the same goes for semantic error which i picked up at random during the bl manhwa revival i experienced at the end of 2023. so my top tiers ended up being a mix of different genres, the new and the old series and books, the expected and the unexpected faves.

i wasn't trying to read a certain amount of books this year but surprisingly i managed to read even more than last year (when it comes to the page count). and as for the quality, i do have a better feeling than i had in 2022 too. while i didn't manage to regain the heights of literary enjoyment from the golden era of 2019-2021, i think i'm on my way there :)

here's another curious wrap up thingy @magpiefngrl tagged me in! very representative of my reading tastes, though i must say i have only 6 unread kj charles books left and i'm starting to get concerned about what i'm going to do when i inevitably gobble them up in 2024😬

what about you guys? please tell me about your reading year! you can do a tier list (if you're a virgo) or the my year in books overview (if you regularly update your goodreads) or just write a post, if you want to. or you can also ignore me and go have a fantastic year😉🍾🎉🎆🎄

@figuringthengsout @fugitoidkry @pinkasrenzo @fandomreferencepending @counterwiddershins @magpiefngrl @sugarbabywenkexing @weirdsociology @theodoradove @doh-rae-me @venndaai @sixappleseeds @oliviermiraarmstrongs @bookish-moony

goodreads │ old yearly wrap ups 2020 2021 2022

explanation of the tier titles under the cut (if you even care)

spermaceti is a precious substance derived from the head of the sperm whale that may or may not be the whale's sperm. these are the books i absolutely loved. the vibe is that scene from moby dick where they are all on deck slicking each other with spermaceti and chanting "sperm!🙌" (that's how i remember it anyways)

toy excavator is the source of his strongest positive feelings for the main character of semantic error chu sangwoo. these are the books that i loved too but not on the spermaceti level, you know. the vibe is that scene where sangwoo realizes he's in love with jaeyoung and is like,, damn. this feels exactly like that time they gifted me a toy excavator🤔😒 (he's autistic)

skyfish is the least cool type of dragon in the aurelian cycle. the hufflepuff dragon, if you will. but it's still a dragon so these were some good books i still enjoyed😌

defekta are sentient furniture in nino cipri's sci fi novella defekt. now, in this book the concept of defekta very much serves the purpose of questioning what things we see as defective and the ethics of of how we treat them. for the purposes of this tier list however defekta are the books which range from good to great but which at the same time have some big issue that made me want to throw them at a wall. that's why the radiant emperor is ranked twice lol it has to be on my top 5 bc i'm obsessed but also ragsghhjdsgjhjbbdsd

kerinne is a made up drink the characters of mca hogarth's cozy sci fi series the dreamhealers like to drink. in 2023 i found out that i am not immune to cozy sff but one genre-specific thing i will forever remain indifferent towards is foods & beverages - i don't care about them too much irl so when they're fictional i care even less. these are the books that were just whatever🤷‍♀️

holism is art's annoying coworker we're introduced to in system collapse. a totally overrated guy, just like these books🙄

green varnish is a resin-like substance a certain type of creature in the winnowing flame excretes after consuming everything it finds in its path so that entire towns together with their residents get entombed under it forever. it's also transparent so the areas attacked by these creatures basically turn into see-through graveyards brrrr. these were The Worst books i read in 2023😬

#book tag #putting boy parts into the spermaceti tier over moby dick & cackling maniacally #ugh both goodreads and tiermaker kept crashing on me but i persevered #also if you're one of my reader followers and you want to tell me about your reading year please consider yourself tagged!

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the-hinky-panda · 1 year

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Vanishing Act (Kevin "KJ" Jimenez Fic)

Title: Vanishing Act (Part I of II)

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Kevin "KJ" Jimenez x Fem! Reader

Summary: You've lost everything: family members, your job with the US Marshals, your life, all because of one man: Lincoln Potter. When you get word that he's put a hit out on one DEA Agent Kevin Jimenez, you decide maybe you might get an ally in your quest for revenge. You just have to keep both of you and KJ alive until you can get your revenge on Potter.

***

Kevin Jimenez was never a lucky man.

He was intelligent, detail oriented, dedicated to his work but luck had nothing to do with it. It certainly had nothing to do with the current state of his life, that was for certain. Two years of borderline obsession with the Galindo cartel that resulted in divorce papers from his wife, custody arguments about the kids, and for what? If luck had played a part in his life at all, then at least he would still have his job after all that.

But Kevin Jimenez was never a lucky man.

That is, until today.

He has no idea how he managed to stand in the middle of his living room, bullets ricocheting off the walls, pictures, and decorations, and not so much as get nicked.

Larry Bowen, on the other hand, is not so lucky.

KJ is still standing in the middle of the room, no place to go for cover. Bowen is dead, two gunshots to his chest. EZ Reyes is to his right, Angel Reyes directly in front of him, and a third figure, a woman, dressed in black to his left. All three have guns pointed at each other. All he can do is hope his luck holds while the three armed assailants work this macabre interaction to its conclusion.

“Put the fucking guns down!” the woman shouts.

“You put your fucking gun down!” Angel yells back.

EZ takes a shot at her, clipping her shoulder and she returns the favor, plaster from the wall next to his face exploding with the impact of her bullet. Angel raises his gun in KJ’s direction but the woman fires again, this time hitting Angel’s gun and knocking it from his hand.

“Fuck!” Angel shakes his hand from the shock of his weapon being hit. “Who the fuck are you?”

Your eyes are zeroed in now on EZ, who’s crouched low by the wall in the kitchen. Slowly, he takes his finger off the trigger of his gun and holds it up. You do the same and every one takes a breath. The three of you don’t move any closer to each other but you all do holster your pieces. Now that the immediate danger is over, the adrenaline surge that KJ felt with the instinct of fight or flight and he could do neither finally explodes.

“What the actual fuck is happening?!”

Both EZ and Angel are suspiciously quiet. It’s you, to everyone’s surprise, that answers.

“Potter put a hit on you.” You motion to the two brothers. “My guess would be he hired these two bargain basement thugs to do it.”

Angel shakes his head. “‘Bargain basement?’”

EZ’s jaw ticks. “I was more offended by thugs.”

KJ feels the sharpness of the betrayal of the hitmen being family in his chest.

“Either way,” you continue, “Potter wants you dead for some reason, which means it’s in my best interest to keep you alive.”

KJ swallows. “You want Galindo? The Cartel?”

“I want Potter.”

It doesn’t surprise him that the odd ADA has made enemies along the way in his career. There’s a story behind the venom you use when you say Potter’s name. This isn’t about saving him at all. It’s about using him as leverage. And as much as that would have infuriated him in the past, staring down the barrels of three guns and a dead boss have altered his perception somewhat.

“Look,” EZ says, “whatever deal you have with Potter-”

You hold up a hand. “Let me stop you there. Because I can tell you all about the deals that Potter makes. I guarantee that one or both of you are looking at a lifetime sentence in jail which will magically go away if you put a bullet in this man’s head. And if you don’t, you’re going to suffer, your family is going to suffer, and no one is going to have a happily ever after.”

“What are you proposing?” Angel asks.

You take out a set of car keys and toss them at Angel. “I have a car sitting three blocks over at the back of a dead end street. It’s set up with a pipe bomb underneath it with a remote control, the garage door opener clipped to the visor. There’s already a body in the front seat, same height and weight as your target. And I’ve already planted his ID and some other belongings in the car.”

Angel looks at the keys. “Why didn’t you just blow it before you came here?”

You raise an eyebrow. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to need to add a couple more bodies to the car before I blew it.” Your eyes land on Bowen. “Glad I waited. If you’re worried about an investigation from the coroner blowing the cover, don’t. I’ve already paid him off to say it was Agent Jimenez.”

“You’re CIA.” The realization leaves his mouth before KJ can stop it. Your efficiency, your thoroughness, your resources all point to Black Ops level type shit. But you’re here by yourself, that much is obvious. If you had a partner, they would have been involved in the firefight. They would help with the body. You’re rogue.

“Something like that.” You state it with finality before turning to Angel and EZ. “Potter’s going to show up here to look over your handiwork in about twenty minutes. I suggest you get this poor son of a bitch out to the car and blow it before he arrives. Whatever deal you all had will still be honored.”

EZ looks over KJ. “And what about him?”

“You’re going to forget all about him. He’s my problem now.”

***

Apparently, two hours into the drive up the coast, KJ realizes he’s not the only problem you have. That “clip” of the bullet from back at the house is still bleeding. He’s been watching the red stain grow, soaking the fabric of your black shirt and even spread to the upholstery of the driver’s seat of the Jeep Cherokee that may or may not be yours. If that wasn’t concerning enough, the thin sheen of sweat and pale coloring of your skin definitely is.

“You should let me drive.”

You scoff. “You don’t even know where we’re going.”

“I would if you tell me.”

“Not going to happen.”

He sits back in the passenger seat. “Of course not. You’re just going to pass out from blood loss in another hour and run us off the road. So glad I survived the hit to die in a fiery crash somewhere near San fucking Bernardino.”

“Are you done?” You shift in the driver’s seat trying to position your injured arm on the center console so it has some support. “Thought you would be a bit more appreciative of me saving your ass back there.”

“Only to kill us both out here.”

“Fine.” You jerk the steering wheel and pull the car over to the shoulder of the highway and slam it into park. “You want to drive, have at it.”

You climb out of the driver’s seat, cradling your injured arm against your chest as you stalk your way around the car and stop at the passenger side. Before you can change your mind, he climbs across the console and slides into the driver’s seat. He sits back and feels your blood start to soak into his shirt but there’s no way for him to stop that from happening. He supposes this is the price he has to pay to survive the car ride. You clamber into his vacated passenger seat with an angry, yet tired, huff.

“So?”

You roll your eyes. “So, what?”

“Where are we going?”

“North.”

“How far-”

“North,” you repeat before leaning your head back and closing your eyes.

North it is. He pulls back on the road and drives for the next two hours in silence. Whenever there was a cross road or interchange, he took whatever direction that was north. The gas light turns on somewhere around Bakersfield and he pulls off the highway to a gas station right by the exit. He pays for the gas, pumps it, uses the restroom and you still haven’t moved from your slumped over position in the passenger seat. When he returns to the driver’s seat, he pokes your leg, gives your elbow a slight shake and you come to, mostly.

“Where…”

“Bakersfield,” he answers.

You look around the gas station that he has yet to pull away from. It’s the middle of the night, hard to see any details past the bright service lights of the station. Your tired eyes squint, trying to see into the darkness, trying to see whatever threat may be lurking out there. “We have to keep going.”

“Why?”

“Away,” you slump back against the seat. You’re weak from the blood loss, and still very pale. Your eyes are having difficulty focusing. “From Potter.”

“I thought you wanted to take him down.”

“Take him down, we need to go up.” You laugh weakly at the statement.

You’re not making much sense and with his life completely topsy turvy at the moment, KJ needs you and all your faculties. He reaches over and lays his hand on your forehead, like he used to do for his kids. You swat it away haphazardly but thankfully you don’t feel feverish. “Alright, we’re stopping for the night.”

“No!” You sound like a petulant child.

“Yes,” he states firmly. “You need medical attention and rest.”

“No hospitals.”

On that, he had to agree with you. “No hospitals. You have a first aid kit in here?”

“Yeah.”

“Cheap hotel it is then.”

Your head falls against the glass of the passenger side door with a thunk. “Sure know how to show a girl a nice time, Agent Jimenez.”

He pulls back out on the highway, wanting to get past Bakersfield proper, and find something out of the way on the outskirts. “Guess I’m not an agent anymore.”

“Guess not.”

He presses his lips together, grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white. He supposes he’s not a lot of things anymore: agent, husband, father. All those things are in the past, dead and blown up on some dead end street in his neighborhood. There’s only one thing that he still has, that’s still his. “You can call me KJ.”

He waits for you to give him your name but you’ve already passed out again.

***

You’re quite pretty. The early morning light paints your skin in a soft, hazy glow. Your hair is still mostly pulled back into a ponytail but strands have escaped and curled around your face. But KJ is certain the most attractive aspect at the moment is that you’re still asleep in the front seat of the car. You’re quiet, not angry, snapping at him with sharp sarcasm with a nihilistic edge.

You’re at peace and you’re lovely.

He sighs as he opens the passenger side door and rests his hand on your shoulder. Your brow furrows in your sleep but you keep sleeping so he squeezes your shoulder until your eyes flutter open. Immediately you’re on alert, sitting up straight and trying to take in your surroundings.

“Where-”

“North end of Bakersfield somewhere. Come on, I got a room for a couple hours so we could get that gunshot wound under control. Get some rest.”

“I’m fine. Bleeding’s stopped by now.”

“Yeah, well, it still needs to be bandaged.”

“We need to keep moving. We need to keep going north.”

He’s tired, bone tired, weary of dealing with one clusterfuck after another. He needs a break, a block of time to reassess the situation and come up with a plan. “Well, I need a fucking moment to breath. You said you need me because Potter wanted me dead. If that’s true, you’re going to fucking follow me into the hotel room. Let me patch up that wound and get some real sleep before moving forward.”

“Look, I know the DEA-”

“You don’t know shit!” he snaps. “You don’t know shit about me, about what I’ve had to fucking sacrifice for this fucking case! You probably don’t even know that those two ‘thugs’ that showed up to kill me were family.” He feels tears stinging his eyes. “Mi familia. Mi sangre.”

You don’t back down, but you do soften a bit. When you do speak, there’s no harshness to your tone. “You’re right. I didn’t know that. I’m sorry.”

It’s a hollow victory but he’ll take it at the moment. He goes to the back of the Jeep and takes out the two duffle bags, slinging his bag over his shoulder and carrying yours. When he comes back to the passenger side, you’re standing next to the car but have a death grip on the door. He can see your muscles shaking from the effort to keep you upright. He slips his free arm around your torso and is surprised that you don’t protest. Perhaps you know just how bad a shape you’re in at the moment.

You lean on him for the short walk across the parking lot and then follow him into the room under your own power. It only lasts until you make it to the small wooden chair. The hotel room is basic, bare bones, but it looks relatively clean. He still pulls the comforter off the bed before putting the bags down on it.

“Where’s the first aid kit?”

“It’s in my bag, towards the top.”

He unzips the worn, leather bag and finds a smaller bag, equally as worn, sitting on top of clothes. He carries it into the bathroom and opens it up. There’s a good sized bottle of rubbing alcohol and he uses that to sterilize the counter and sink. He sees you in the mirror, leaning on the doorframe and unbuttoning your shirt. Well, trying to at least, as your hands are shaking from the injury and its side effects.

He steps over to you and immediately starts undoing the buttons himself, concentrating on the task and the reasoning behind it. The sooner he can patch you up, the sooner he can sleep. He expects you to swat him away, determined to do this intimate act yourself, but you don’t. You just lean back and let him do it, helping only when he starts to peel the semi dried fabric from your injured arm. He also expected your fire to come back, that ice cold determination to see your mission through but it hasn’t. You’re still leaning against the door jam, right shoulder and arm bloodied, clad in your jeans and simple black sports bra.

You look tired, weak…soft.

He turns and reaches for a clean washcloth, soaking it in the alcohol, before starting to clean the blood from your arm. “So you’re not CIA.”

You hiss and jerk your arm when the alcohol runs into the wound but still your movements. “What makes you think that?”

What makes him think that? He certainly can’t say the truth, that you lack the hard dissociative edge that he’s seen before in CIA agents. You’re staring at him through the haze of pain but you’re very much reading his expression. So he throws out the question that’s been plaguing him since he left Santo Padre.

“Why didn’t you just kill Angel and EZ?”

You take in a deep breath through your nose and release it slowly. “Because I know how Potter works. The people he sends to tie up loose ends are just as much the victims as the people they kill.”

He couldn’t argue with that statement.

“You’re right,” you say. “I didn’t realize they were related to you. How?”

“Second cousins.” He scoffs. “Not like they were my brothers.”

Something akin to pain, but deeper, passes through your eyes. It happens so quickly, he thinks he may have imagined it.

“And I’m not CIA. I’m a US Marshal,” you confess quietly. “Well, was one at least.”

He’s cleaned away most of the blood so he can see the wound. It certainly isn’t a clip, the bullet went completely through the muscle of the underside of your bicep. It went clean through though, but the bullet wound is still oozing blood and will continue to do so until it’s packed and bandaged. “Let me guess, witness protection?”

“Right again.” You glance down at the wound. “Guess it was more than just a clip.”

He pulls out cotton, gauze pads, and bandages, laying them out on the sterilized sink counter. “Spoken like someone who’s never been shot before.”

“My line of work we tried to prevent situations from getting to that point.”

“Sounds like you were successful.”

“Until I wasn’t.”

He wonders if he’ll reach a point when he’s able to talk about this clusterfuck with the succinctness and resignation that you just did. But you’re talking and that’s something he wants to encourage. The more he knows the better. “So how did Potter fit into that situation?”

You’re quiet for a moment. “You almost done?”

And just like that, the conversation is over. He wraps the bandage over the cotton and gauze and fixes it in place with a metal clip. “Done.”

“Thank you.” You pick up your bloodied shirt and toss it in the trash. “Are you hungry? There’s a Burger King across the street.”

“No,” he starts cleaning up the bandages. “I’m good. You?”

You shake your head. “Maybe after some sleep.”

Which brings up another issue. There is only one bed out there. By the time he repacks the first aid kit, you’re already under the sheets and balanced on the right edge of the bed. He debates taking a shower, getting into a clean set of clothes, and then laying down but it all seems to be too much of an effort. Instead, he lays down on top of the sheets and stares at the cheap, popcorn ceiling. He listens to your breathing, wondering if you’re just going to stop mid-inhale from the blood loss. IF he’s going to have to take you to the hospital for an infusion and proper stitches. But you don’t. And soon, he finds himself being drawn under the blanket of sleep listening to the steady exhalations of you next to him.

***

When KJ wakes up, it’s completely dark in the room. He listens for your breathing but doesn’t hear anything. There’s nothing. No sound, no movement, no warmth.

“Fuck.”

He turns on the light next to him and braces to find your dead body. But you’re not there and somehow that’s worse. You’ve left him stranded in northern Bakersfield with no car, no new ID, and fifty dollars in cash. What exactly did he expect though? He has nothing on Potter, less than nothing in fact. His entire career in the DEA has been completely erased. The sight of his office being stripped and torn apart still makes his stomach churn.

There’s nothing for him to do until he figures out where he’s going to go and how he’s going to get there. He gets up, grabs his bag, and heads into the bathroom to get cleaned up. He tries to come up with a way to make some money while he showers. Without being able to use credit cards or withdraw from his bank accounts, if he even has them anymore, he’s going to need to make some fast cash. Maybe the hotel needs some extra help and he can get enough together to get somewhere further away from Santo Padre.

He’s pulling his t-shirt over his head when he hears a noise come from the other room. He had left his gun on the back of the toilet and he picks it up as he peers through the steam left over from his shower. The door is partially open, light flickers in from the faulty streetlight outside the room. The smell of fresh food: charbroiled and smoked meat, cheese, and grease hits his nose and causes his stomach to growl. There you are, struggling with bags of food, a hurt arm and a stubborn, dented door to a cheap motel room.

You didn’t abandon him. You didn’t leave him in the middle of nowhere.

“Jimenez, some help here?”

He tucks the gun in the waistband of his jeans as he moves to help you through the door. “Sorry. I, uh, I thought you left.”

You give him a slightly concerned look. “I did leave. To pay for a few more hours for the room and grab some food. You okay there?”

The relief he feels at your return shouldn’t be as strong as it is, but here he is. Heart slowing from its rapid pace, a slight burning to the back of his eyes. You didn’t leave. You didn’t abandon him. This too means more than it should. He puts the bags of food down on the small desk and re-locks the door. You drop into a chair, exhausted and pale.

“You shouldn’t have gone out there by yourself.” He tries to sound chiding but it lacks conviction. He’s still too relieved that you didn’t leave him behind. “You’re still recovering from the blood loss.”

You pull a hamburger out of the Burger King bag and unwrap it. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

He gives you a disbelieving look and you slowly cave.

“Okay, okay, I haven’t actually been shot and had significant blood loss before.”

He starts pulling food out of the other bags. “What did you get?”

“I didn’t know what you like to eat so I got a bunch of stuff.” You point to a plain white plastic bag with styrofoam containers. “That’s supposed to be some award winning BBQ, coleslaw, and potato salad. There’s also some more Burger King, lo mein and egg rolls, and a meatball sub.”

“What, no Indian food?”

You take a large bite out of the burger. “I owe you some chicken tikka masala then.”

He takes half the BBQ and sides, sitting down on the other chair at the small desk. It only takes a couple bites before he realizes just how ravenous he is. He can’t remember the last time he ate. He can’t really remember how much time has actually passed since the events in the living room. It seems like a lifetime ago already. You’ve finished the burger and are reaching for the meatball sub.

“I don’t normally eat like this.”

He motions to your shoulder with his fork. “It’s the blood loss. Your body is trying to make up for what it’s lost. Protein is the best thing to eat.”

“You’re not just saying that to keep the potato salad all to yourself, are you?”

He looks over at you and sees a small smirk at the corner of your mouth, a slight brightness of mirth in your eyes.

You didn’t leave him.

Not yet, anyway.

***

You finally tell him where you’re heading: Olema. It’s a small, touristy town along the coast about thirty miles north of San Francisco. You have a friend who runs a bed and breakfast there and who is willing to give you both some space to regroup. Right now though, the plan is less focused on revenge and more on healing. You try to drive but have to pull over two hours in because you’re still too weak to keep your head up and your eyes open.

“You can get some sleep. I can use Google Maps-” he stops himself short. That’s right. You made him toss his cell phone into the car before Angel and EZ blew it up. No phone along with everything else. All his pictures of his family, his soon to be ex-wife, his two kids. The loss of something so simple like a picture hits him like a tidal wave and he has to forcibly swallow down the lump in his throat.

You open the glove compartment and pull out a slip of paper, writing the directions down. “Here, just keep taking the 5 up to the 580 West. When we get to San Rafeal, you’re going to get on the 101 North. Then we hit the 1 which will take us straight into Olema. If I’m asleep by the time we make it into town, you can stop at the Due West Tavern. It’ll be on the left side of main street about a mile into town. We should get there towards the end of dinner.”

He takes the slip of paper and tucks it in the visor, hoping you don’t see the sheen of tears in his eyes. But he knows you probably do. You’re incredibly astute and detail oriented. He figures you wouldn’t be successful in your job if you weren’t. “Thanks.”

You’re quiet for a moment. “Eighteen months.”

“What?”

“That’s how long I tell people that it takes to adjust to their new lives. Eighteen months.”

He feels another wave of grief hit him. “That sounds like forever.”

“The first year is hard. You remember all the anniversaries, routines, holidays and traditions. Once you get past that first year, that’s when you stop existing and start adjusting. It takes another four to six months to settle into the new life then.”

He remembers what it was like when his mother died. The first year had been terrible, all the memories and holidays exacerbating the loss of the quiet, kindhearted woman who endured hell on earth so he wouldn’t have to face it alone. “It’s like the grieving process.”

“That’s exactly what it’s like.” You turn your head and study his profile for a moment. “It’s okay to grieve, to feel the loss. It’ll help shorten the adjustment period if you acknowledge the emotions for what they are.”

“Grief.”

You hum as you fold your legs close to your chest and put your feet on the dashboard. “Survivor’s guilt is a big one too.”

Bowen. He can still see the dark red stain of blood soaking into the jute rug and spilling out onto the hardwood floor of the living room. He chances a quick glance over to you, your relaxed posture, half closed eyes. He’s detail oriented too and wonders if you’re in a sharing mood now.

“Who did Potter take away from you?”

You pick at a rip in your jeans. “Everyone. Everything.”

He waits to see if you’ll elaborate but by the time he looks over, you’re already turned towards the door and asleep. He glances up at the directions you gave him and estimates there’s only about another two and half hours of driving ahead. So he does what you suggest and he sits with his grief for that time.

***

You’re still asleep, curled into a ball in the passenger seat when he pulls into the gravel parking lot of the tavern. He wonders if the place is open given there’s only two cars in the lot despite it being seven forty at night. He turns the car off and releases a long sigh. He’s drained. Emotionally, mentally, physically. Now all he wants to do is sleep for about a week. He reaches over and gently squeezes your arm.

You sit up immediately and take in your surroundings, letting out a slightly disgusted noise. “Can’t believe I slept all the way here.”

“Six to eight weeks.”

You open the passenger side door and slide out of the car. “What?”

“That’s how long it takes for someone to get their strength back from significant blood loss.”

You nod as you start to make your way towards the front door of the restaurant. He takes a moment to take in the area. The sky is not completely darkened by night yet. The smell of the tavern food, fish and steak, drifts through the air and mixes with a sharper, cleaner scent. He knows he should know what it is but he can’t put his finger on it at the moment.

“Hey,” you shout and he sees you’re holding the door open for him. He hustles his way over to you and follows you into the building. You’re familiar with the place given the ease in which you navigate the formal dining room and lead him into the dark bar area of the tavern. Everything is dark wood, the floor, ceiling beams, bar, tables, chairs even.

“Sorry, kitchen’s closed-” a man appears from behind the bar but stops mid sentence when his eyes land on you. A large smile breaks across his face. “Hey, you made it!”

“Hey, Tony!” You give him a one-armed hug. “I know it’s late but-”

“I got you.” He motions to a corner booth, away from windows and a guttering candle in the center of the table. “Have a seat and I’ll scrounge up something for you guys. I’ll call Mom too, let her know you’re here.”

“Please tell me you have some clam chowder left over,” you ask, easing yourself down into the booth.

“For you, I will find some.” He turns to KJ. “What about you?”

He has to admit, he’s hungry again and anything sounds good to him. “I’m not picky.”

Tony claps him on the arm. “My kind of customer. What do you guys want to drink?”

“Whatever’s on tap is fine for me.” You’re already propped up in the corner, your injured arm resting on the table. KJ can see some slight bleed through your shirt. Tony notices it too.

“I’ll bring some whiskey too. Make a couple boilermakers out of it.”

KJ slides into the booth across from you. He can’t tell if it’s the poor light but your skin tone is still ashy and you look exhausted. “So, Tony and his mom are going to help us?”

You nod. “Tony’s mom, Amelia, used to be my boss. She was my mentor, taught me everything I know. She’s retired now but helps me out when I need a safe place to crash or stash people for a short time until witness protection can iron out paperwork.”

“She’s the one who runs the Bed and Breakfast?”

“Yeah. It’s a good front for moving people quietly. A good blend of tourists and fugitives. It helps that Olema is out of the way for most people.”

“Why do people come here?”

“Mostly for the hiking trails in Point Reyes National Seashore. There’s lots of hikers and backpackers that come through here. There are some horse stables and you can do trail riding too. But in a state where you also have National Forests like Redwoods, Sequoia, Lassen, and Yosemite National Park, this little place gets passed over quite a bit.”

Tony comes back with two bowls of rich looking clam chowder, a container of oyster crackers, two beer glasses, a bottle of whiskey and two shot glasses. “Alright you two, eat up because mom is on her way and says she’s a lot to discuss. You know what that means.”

You roll your eyes but immediately reach for a spoon. KJ looks at you expectantly. “What?”

“What does that mean?”

A small frown crosses your face. “It means we don’t have a lot of information to work with. I don’t know why she’s surprised though. Potter is as slippery as an eel in an oil spill.”

“How long have you been chasing him?”

“About five years now.” You close your eyes when the first spoonful of food goes in your mouth. “No more talking about Potter. This food is too good to be ruined by conversation about that asshole.”

KJ actually finds a small laugh inside of himself before picking up his own spoon.

#kevin jimenez x reader #kevin jimenez x you #kevin jimenez #maurice compte #Vanishing Acts series #mayans mc fic

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kyoto-division · 3 months

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“All things truly wicked start from innocence.”

Ernest Hemingway

Third member- Kanade Alarie

Kanade is the third and final member of Starlight specters. A rising star in the acting world she’s known as everyone’s favorite little sister among the residents of Kyoto.

General information

Name: Kanade Alarie

MC name: Spooky

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Blue & Purple

Height: 5’0

Scars: several on her stomach, five scars on each wrist, one on the back of her neck

Tattoos: None yet

Likes: Ghosts, her girlfriend, exploring abandoned buildings, her job

Dislikes:Thinking about the past too much, hospitals, the sight of her own blood

Personality

Kanade is an innocent seeming individual, often she’s seemed as childish by some people who haven’t known her for very long. Those who do know her seem to know a little better.

She’s a tad bit naive and unaware of how certain things work. She didn’t have the best of childhoods and thinks acting the way she does would make people happy. After all…she can be happy if other people are happy right?

Background

Kanade is the youngest child in her family. Her life wasn’t the best from the very beginning- her mother’s behavior hadn’t even hit its peak yet. She spent most of her life in the care of her older sibling who she lovingly referred to as her hero.

If you ask her about the trauma she suffered at the hands of her mother she’ll look at you funny. What trauma? She hardly remembers a thing! That’s a bold faced lie- she just doesn’t want to make you sad. She doesn’t want to admit that the memories of that hospital room keep her awake at night. She doesn’t want to admit that she knows she meant nothing to the woman who she was forced to call her mother.

Let’s not think of the sad. Let’s talk about her biggest passion in life- acting. She loved movies and stage plays from a young age- often being captivated by a certain actress from Gion division. She’s always been a member of any drama club her school offers.

The absolute joy from the crowd is what she loves the most.

For awhile she would hang around a small family owned shrine in Kyoto- her best friend was a shrine maiden named Mina. Eventually the two grew apart during the Darling Divaz era. Around this time she was also scouted by Mitsuru Kagome- a talent scout working for a company named KJ Entertainment.

Joining the starlight specters seemed to skyrocket Kanades career even further. Offers to act in movies and tv shows came in left and right. She also met her now girlfriend Criss Hiromi at the time.

Mic + Speakers

Kanades mic takes the form of a mic one would wear on your collar.

Her speakers take the form of a large coffin on the ground. The lid is open and three ghosts that bear an odd resemblance to the ghost in the groups logo.

Trivia

She’s confirmed to be a lesbian. She’s dating Criss Hiromi of Akihabara

Kanade is left handed

They use She/They pronouns

Kanade doesn’t have a very good sense of self worth

She sometimes gets nose bleeds at random

Kanade gets cuts and bruises with ease

Her bio mom is dead- she loves her adoptive mom more

Their best friend is Kanra Akemi from Edogawa division- the two often torment Jyuto Iruma together

#hypmic #hypmic oc #hypmic ocs #hypnosis mic oc #hypnosis microphone #kyoto division #starlight specters #kanade alarie

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random-ykw-facts · 1 year

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Fact #45

Yo-kai Watch 2 introduced four rhythm games that can randomly activate during certain in-game times of day and certain weather conditions; these are as follows:

The Groovalicious Hustle starts in Breezy Hills from 4 PM to 6 PM in-game time; near Gourd Pond Park, you can occasionally find a man in a suit walking around. If you get close to him, he'll walk over to you and reveal he's Groovalicious' manager, forcing you to participate in Groovalicious' new music video. This can be started again by Groovalicious' stage after playing it once. It additionally starts and is required during part of the Trying Tangle Tango quest in Psychic Specters.

Septuple Step, which starts in Shopper's Row on clear nights, namely on the sidewalk at the top of its map. While walking around, a cutscene may play where you hear weird music; approaching it reveals six other versions of your player character (whether that be Nate, Katie or Hailey), who think you're part of the dance and make you join. Beating it reveals that they're actually Mimikins, and they're surprised that you managed to join in so well.

The Kaos March, which starts in Downtown Springdale on clear nights. While walking around, you may encounter the march, consisting of many Yo-kai parading around the town, with Ake inviting you to join. Upon beating it, the time changes to day and Ake says you did a good job in the march. This can later be played again by talking to Ake in a lot on the left side of Downtown Springdale.

The Wedding Fox Trot, which starts in Uptown Springdale during light rain. This specifically starts in a parking lot near both the elementary school and the preschool. The Wedding Fox Trot is an event where people wearing fox masks go down the street before a wedding ceremony, and you end up joining in while trying to not seem suspicious, and end up watching the wedding at the Mount Wildwood Shrine.

Yo-kai Watch 3 additionally introduced four other rhythm games which activate through various methods, alongside the return of the rhythm games introduced in Yo-kai Watch 2:

Next HarMEOWny Concert, which is first started during Chapter 3 of Hailey's story, and later in Chapter 10. In Chapter 3, it is played as Hailey in Illusionary Sparkopolis, being one of Hailey's desires, and in Chapter 10, it is played as Nate on one of the Gold Dream Floor, Floor 48, in Bada-Bing Tower.

DON-CHAN's Taiko Tumult, which is first started during the You're Invited to DON-CHAN's Bash! quest on Hailey's side. After getting brought to the festival by randomly encountering DON-CHAN while going up Mount Wildwood, and after fighting him, playing this rhythm game is required to finish this quest.

Poltz, which is first started during Chapter 7. Alongside Next HarMEOWny Concert, it is plot required, being played as Nate in the haunted house after Hailey, Buck, Whisper, Jibanyan and Usapyon leave.

KJ Concert, which is first started during the DJ KJ's on the Scene! quest on Nate's side. After helping the club get popular again, it is played during the quest, and must be beaten to finish the quest.

#yo-kai watch facts #yo-kai watch #yokai watch #youkai watch #ykw #yw #yo-kai watch 2 #yo-kai watch 3

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patchesjam · 5 days

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you've probably answered this before, but do you have tips for valorant beginners? does watching pro matches help at all? do you recommend any good YouTube tutorials or good starter agents? I've tried playing casually before and wasn't that hood but now my roommates into it and want me to play and I don't want totally suck 😭

anonie you are talking to a bronze 3 player i am by no means good in the slightest but i will try!

watching pros - no not at all really, unless for very specific agents for lineups (kj, viper, brimstone) i would say very little use. for agents with smokes or lineups, maybe slight help to see where you can put your abilities for good use, but still not needed and if you are really keen then just look up agent lineups on certain maps. but even that id reccomend only when youve played for a little bit

starter agents - sage is a great one everyone always reccomends for a reason. easy abilities, easily helpful, everyone will like you as long as you heal them when you can and its just a bonus if you get kills. i played sova a lot to start with, which id say is pretty easy too. brimstone also pretty simple, just smoke off anywhere the other team might camp, when entrying or protecting the bomb

more than anything i would just reccomend playing and having fun, no better practise than playing the game to start with. play some unranked if you're nervous, less pressure! i play team deathmatch to get an idea and muck about with abilities while in a game with zero stakes, might be an idea if you want to try out some agents and find some you like!

#valo

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trickarrows-bishop · 5 months

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got any autistic kaje thoughts

hmmmmmmm not many tbh but she def has sensory issues with certain materials. her mom will get her a shirt that looks absolutely lovely but kj can barely wear it once because of the material its made of. whenever her mom brings up her wearing that dress or shirt for a specific occasion she always will find a replacement.

#thats all my mind can come up w ngl #but in my defense my brain is going whirrrr

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xslytherclawx-writes · 7 months

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hey i’m reading your ravenclaw au (love it so much so far!) and i was wondering if you had a list of older queer literature? because i’d like to start reading more of it!

thank you so much!!!

well, with the caveat of "what defines 'older'?"

first, there's the literature I've titled Ravenclaw AU after:

the poetry of Arthur Rimbaud (less overtly queer works-wise and a lot is meant to be as shockingly disturbing as possible but he did very much run away with Verlaine lol)

the works of Thomas Mann in general - Death in Venice is considered a classic (though I'd look up content warnings if you're sensitive to certain things), but I quoted Tonio Kröger which is a short story

Maurice by E.M. Forster

(Philippe Besson is a contemporary writer, but I'd recommend his works regardless)

Walt Whitman has a few poems on the subject of male beauty etc. that are flowery enough to be quoted outside

Ronald M. Schernikau!!! He died in the 90s at a young age, but regardless, I would consider him of a previous generation of queer literature - born in East Germany, emigrated to the West with his family, moved back to East Germany of his own free will (and studied in Leipzig like truly). I quoted kleinstadtnovelle, but die tage in l. is also highly recommended - though with the caveat that idk if his work has ever been translated and it's not stylistically an easy read for non-native speakers

(Aciman is also a contemporary writer, but again: highly recommended)

Klaus Mann! Yes, related to Thomas Mann (he's his son). I haven't actually read Mephisto though I've owned it for like a decade lol

the poetry of Wilfred Owen

Works / authors that I haven't referenced but would also recommend:

The Charioteer by Mary Renault

Gertrude Stein's works

the poetry of Allen Ginsberg. was the dude shit? yes. but his poetry is amazing.

Gore Vidal!

Larry Kramer!!!

Tony Kushner!

Patricia Highsmith

Edmund White's A Boy's Own Story (and subsequent books) is like... extremely fucked and very much a product of its time, but I think it's very good

and you didn't ask but contemporary works i'd recommend include:

literally anything Cat Sebastian has ever written, especially if you like Ravenclaw AU, because she specializes in coziness (my favorites are Two Rogues Make A Right and Peter Cabot Gets Lost)

How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee

Olivia Waite's works are very good as well - she specializes in F/F romance

KJ Charles if you like plottier romance (but they are romance)

Again reiterating: André Aciman and Philippe Besson!

I have not read Sarah Waters but people who I trust highly recommend her works.

But if you're looking for books that have similar vibes to Ravenclaw AU, definitely look at Cat Sebastian, even though she's a contemporary writer; most of the older works I've listed are not as, um, cozy.

#and if you want queer books i fucking hate: cemetery boys is at the top of that list #caveat that i am casually acquainted with at least one author on this list lol #ask box

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usafphantom2 · 1 year

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China plans to build more aircraft carriers

Fernando Valduga By Fernando Valduga 04/24/2023 - 08:56 in Military

The Chinese People's Liberation Army (PLA) revealed plans to build additional aircraft carriers for its Navy, while the third Fujian warship began propulsion tests.

On April 23, China celebrated the 74th anniversary of the founding of the Navy of the Chinese People's Liberation Army (PLAN). From April 22 to 24, the service opened many naval bases along its coastal regions to the public, during which it also exhibited some of its powerful warships, including the Type 052D Kaifeng destroyer and the Type 054A Daqing frigate.

Since the launch of Fujian on June 17, 2022, the aircraft carrier has successfully carried out propulsion and anchoring tests before its next maiden voyage, reported the state-owned China Central Television (CCTV).

China's aircraft carrier, Liaoning, reaches the waters of Hong Kong. (Photo: ANTHONY WALLACE/AFP/Getty Images)

“To complete the propulsion test, Fujian will leave the pier and conduct a sea navigation test,” Song Zhongping, a Chinese military expert and TV commentator, told the Global Times on Sunday.

Judging by the current progress, the navigation test will probably take place later this year, Song said.

The 80,000-ton Fujian is China's first aircraft carrier equipped with an electromagnetic aircraft launch system, making it more advanced than the country's first two aircraft carriers, Liaoning and Shandong, which are smaller and use ski jump ramps to help aircraft take off with lower efficiency.

youtube

China's vast maritime areas mean that three aircraft carriers alone cannot meet their demand, so it is certain that the country will build new aircraft carriers, CCTV said in the report.

Chinese naval expert Li Jie told the Global Times that "if a country wants to deploy aircraft carriers effectively, it needs a certain number of them, because as a type of large warship, an aircraft carrier spends a lot of time on maintenance and training outside combat readiness missions."

Tap Title bar to view.

The U.S. Navy maintains eleven 100,000-ton nuclear-powered aircraft carriers in active service. China's future aircraft carriers may also be powered by nuclear power, analysts said.

The new Fujian aircraft carrier.

China is developing a carrier-based stealth fighter supposedly called the J-35; an improved version of the J-15 multimission combat jet supposedly called the J-15B; an electronic warfare variant of the J-15 supposedly called the J-15D; and an aircraft carrier-based early warning aircraft supposedly called the KJ-600.

They will form a combination comparable to the U.S., which consists of the F-35C poaching fighter, the F/A-18E/F multirole combat jet, the EA-18G electronic war aircraft and the E-2D early warning aircraft, observers said.

J-35 jet developed for the new Chinese aircraft carrier.

From April 8 to 10, the aircraft carrier group carried out intensive exercises beyond the "first chain of islands", approaching the vicinity of Guam in the "second chain of islands" after completing the siege exercises of the island of Taiwan from April 8 to 10.

This is the first time that the aircraft carrier Shandong has carried out an exercise at sea since its commissioning in December 2019.

Tags: Military AviationPLAN - People's Liberation Army Navy / People's Liberation Army Navyaircraft carrier

Fernando Valduga

Aviation photographer and pilot since 1992, he has participated in several events and air operations, such as Cruzex, AirVenture, Dayton Airshow and FIDAE. He has works published in specialized aviation magazines in Brazil and abroad. Uses Canon equipment during his photographic work throughout the world of aviation.

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offbranddrpepsi · 2 years

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Hmm I love kay/o but sometimes I wonder how the toaster does the dirty... so may I request a hc of kay/o nsfw headcanons? Feel free to ignore if you don't feel like doing it, have a great day! - kay/o anon

I was waiting for someone to ask me this about Kay/o or Omen because i have THOUGHTS

Firstly: he was not made with the equipment to fuck but DOES have some basic human anatomy and behavior understanding in his code. He knows what sex is, what its main purpose is, as well as what certain body parts are and how they function

He himself probably doesn't really have a sex drive nor an interest in it but doesn't view it as icky/bad

When it eventually comes to him having sex he just asks Killjoy if she can make him an attachment that allows him to, she of course does so so long as she can record data from him about his experiences with it.

Killjoy suited him well so he does actually receive relative pleasure from the device although it takes some time before he really understands what he feels, he's used to feeling competitive or protective not sexual pleasure

At first he kinda has to learn the ropes of it, learning the limits of his partners human body as well as learning what works and what doesn't. May accidentally injure his partner in the beginning but will go to KJ for more mods/attachments to stop that such as covers for any blunt metal bits or limiters

If a fast learner and makes sure everything hes learned gets stored in his memory bank, is really determined to figure out all the little things

as time goes on he becomes a massive pleaser, determined to make each session the best his partner has had

bit cocky about how good he is in bed, gloats about how unlike humans he can learn exactly what makes them unfold and do it perfectly every time

Doesn't really look for his own pleasure and deeply enjoy pleasing his partner and making them cum as much as possible

also really good at after care and learns what they like fast, starting the second sex is finished

is a bit self conscious he wont ever be the same as a human lover, he could have all the mods to do anything but at the end of the day he is still a hunk of metal made for war not love

because of his self consciousness would develop a thing for really intimate vanilla sex as well as praise and bottoming

Given enough time would feel a bit better and on more of a level playing field with the others, still has his moments tho

despite enjoying sex more he still finds the human body weird and absurdly fleshy

secretly wishes he had a more human body at least head wise so he could engage in more face related activities

likes sexual openness aka enjoys his partner being open to him about sex stuff as well as not stressing about bumps in the road so to speak

ends up being a really good partner both because of ability and attitude towards everything aka good at fucking you but also good at loving you

not a baby when it comes to sex but goes about it how he does most things with the mind of a very determined soldier

#valorant kay/o #kay/o headcanons #kay/o anon #valorant headcanons #naughty

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olderthannetfic · 2 years

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This is a lot of why I prefer YA- the pretentiousness that a lot of people carry about adult genre fiction is a massive turn off for me. Often when I do try and read it I wind up with books written with such a sense of self importance and wank I can't get through it.

I know there's plenty of good genre fiction out there that isn't like that, but wading through the sea of writers who just drip pretentious bullshit is not worth it. I don't like stories that take themselves super seriously, I don't like stories where the characters are basically paper dolls in service of plot and your Very Cool And Important World Building.

YA has its own problems, but I'd rather read trivial same-y stories that are fun than spend hours and money feeling like I should be grateful for the honor of being allowed to read such precious works~

I have not found many people who share this view, so I'm pretty sure I'm on a tiny island here, but that's my personal beef with adult fiction books. I'll stick to fanfic and whatever YA novel happens to land in my lap, I'd rather be perceived as vapid and childish than join the better than everyone else club.

It's just an era thing.

Prior to the YA boom, the types of books you like were published as general fantasy or science fiction, yes, including Mercedes Lackey's bajillions of Special Teenager Is Tragic books and a lot of other things later repackaged as YA.

I too hate that worldbuilding-centric type of sff, and I tend to avoid certain oldschool corners of sff publishing because of it. Phrases like "epic scope" are a red flag as is anyone excitedly telling me a book covers ten thousand years of history. No fucking thank you! It's part of why I always read far more mystery than SF and then, later, more romance and urban fantasy too.

Back when I was buying more commercial fiction from big publishers, I knew how to spot the vibe I wanted based on the cover art of the day, the marketing, etc. Everyone knows that for whatever media they normally consume.

Sadly, switching to mostly selfpub m/m means I cannot judge based on covers. They're nearly all awful! (And the ones that are better are people like KJ Charles whose careers are busily jumping the shark.) But still, one learns whatever niche one is consuming pretty quickly.

I typically don't go for YA because present tense is common, the YA boom came at a time I wasn't reading that much fiction, and I just never got into it. But I have definitely noticed a generation of fans who basically only explore YA and have no clue how to approach any other marketing sector. This group tends to cover up its incuriosity by thinking everything else is pretentious.

We all tend to go for things that have a good return on the time invested and avoid genres or sources of recs that have burned us too often. Taken to an extreme, however, it just makes you look like a dumbass.

This whole attitude is vapid and childish, but not because you only read in one marketing category.

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mediaevalmusereads · 11 months

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The Ruin of Gabriel Ashleigh. By KJ Charles. Loveswept, 2014.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: historical romance, short story, lgbtqia+ romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Society of Gentlemen #0.5

Summary: The youngest son and the blackest sheep in his family, Lord Gabriel Ashleigh never imagined he could sink so low. Though he’s a notoriously bad gambler, he takes on the formidable but strangely alluring Francis Webster, only to lose everything: all his money, the lovely estate he inherited from his aunt, and any hope of future happiness. So it’s a shock when Webster summons him to a private game for a chance to win back his possessions. The stake? If he fails, Ash must surrender his body.

Francis has been waiting years for this moment. At Eton, Ash’s elder brother harassed him relentlessly. Now, consumed by lust and rage, Francis is only too happy to exploit Ash’s foolish indiscretions. But as Francis strips the magnificently built youth—first of his family assets, then his clothes—he begins to wonder whether he’s been plotting revenge . . . or exquisite seduction.

***Full review below.***

Content Warnings: graphic sexual content

Overview: I'm quite in the mood for a full length novel, so for the past few days, I've been reading novellas, graphic narratives, and short stories. I picked this one up because I don't think I've ever read a short story that was also a queer historical romance, and I was curious as to how it would unfold. Fortunately, it worked out; Charles is very careful to keep the scope reasonable and does a good job laying groundwork before the romance begins. The only reason this story gets 4 stars from me, however, is because I think Charles could have injected more sensuality into the build up to the intimate scene and held back a little more on the info dumping after. But other than those things, this is a nice, quick read that will surely delight lovers of queer (especially mlm) romance.

Writing: Charles's prose is very quick, clear, and well-balanced, without rhetorical flourishes that take up space or make the pace drag. However, it doesn't feel sparse either; especially towards the beginning, I never felt as if Charles was breezing through things, but took care to devote time and attention to the context and backstory that would inform the character dynamics moving forward. I also really liked that Charles moved back and forth between past and present, using flashbacks to show the reader where certain feelings come from rather than telling us that Ash and Frances had history. It made the story feel more "literary" and therefore more engrossing.

Plot: The plot of this short story follows Gabriel "Ash" Ashleigh, the youngest son of a prominent family who bets his entire inheritance on a game of cards. To his horror, Ash loses, and the short story begins in medias res the day after, when Ash realizes what he's done. After turning to his brother for help (which is denied), Ash receives a note from Francis Webster, the man who now holds all of Ash's gambling debt. Francis invites Ash to his house and offers to allow him to win it all back, but because Ash no longer has anything to wager, Francis proposes a solution: Ash's body.

I personally found the plot to be appropriate in scope, which meant that the story didn't feel as though Charles was trying to stuff a novel-length plot into a scant 44 pages. Because Charles also inserts some flashbacks, the plot felt richer than if background information has merely been told to us and we were left to absorb its significance on our own.

The only thing I didn't like about this plot is the falling action, after Ash and Francis are physically intimate. After they sleep together, Francis explains how long he's wanted Ash, how he knew he was queer, etc. and it felt like such a departure from the literary way Charles related backstory in the beginning. I think I would have liked it better if some of this info was relayed earlier, such as more sensuality in the card games that built up to their encounter, or more revelations in the throes of passion. As it stands, there seems to be a lot of telling at the end, and the tone shifts from dark and potentially dangerous to bright and hopeful. If more seeds had been sown earlier, the shift might have been more gradual and, at least for me, more enjoyable.

Characters: Ash, our main protagonist, is something of a Rake in that he is characterized by his pursuit of pleasure. He is frequently drunk and plays all sorts of impulsive card games, which makes him the black sheep of his family. However, Ash is more complicated than a straight forward stock libertine because he seems to have a sense of honor, yet is always afraid to show it. For example, he remembers seeing his older brother bully Francis at Eton, and though he took his brother's side, he secretly hated all the things that they were doing. Giving Ash such conflicting feelings made him interesting because as a reader, I didn't quite know for sure how he would respond to certain things, and I appreciated the character growth that happened when Ash decided to do the right thing and apologize.

Francis, the love interest, is less complex, but that didn't bother me because this short story is told in third person from Ash's POV. Most of what we know about Francis is given to us through Ash's perception of him, so Francis comes across as dark, ruthless, calculating, and potentially dangerous. I would have liked him better as a character if he didn't infodump so much at the end, but as a love interest bound by the limits of this story, he was fine.

Romance: I wouldn't quite call this story a proper romance because we don't see a complete love story, just an act of ohysical intimacy which promises to turn into a long-lasting relationship. I can't really comment, then, on the arc of the relationship, though I think it's fair to say that I wish Charles had done more to build up the sensuality and hint that there was something more than lust going on a bit earlier. As it stands, the physical scene feels like a moment of sudden passion until after it ends, when Francis reveals his true feelings. Personally, I dislike it when reveals like this are too sudden and shift the way I conceptualize the relationship too suddenly, but because of the length of this story, I kind of understand why it was done. Basically, what I wanted was for Charles to *show* us more longing rather than *telling* us about it after.

Ash's older brother, Mal, makes a brief appearance, but his main way of being present is through Ash's memory. Because Mal and Francis have an antagonistic relationship, it would have been easy for Mal to distract from the bond between Francis and Ash, but I think Charles did well. Mal is neither presented as an incidental character nor one that dominates the story, and I appreciated that he was kept in his place, so to speak.

TL;DR: The Ruin of Gabriel Ashleigh is a fun, quick, erotic short story that feels both rich and complex and appropriate in scope. Though I personally would have liked the ending to play out differently, this story is a good intro to mlm historical romance and a good example of how to write a short story that don't feel rushed or over-full.

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