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spaceyflowerswriting · 1 year

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request by @gold21101 !

a new me... kind of (hyeonsu lee x reader)

details: fluffy oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and hyeonsu are best friends, this takes place after jinho gets arrested

summary: hyeonsu opens up for once.

a/n: thank you for the request :]

fyi a lot of this characterization is made up since hyeonsu's just a side character with little screen time but i wanted to develop(?) him so... either way, i hope this can still be enjoyed !!

"Fucking hell..." Hyeonsu groaned and turned away the second you walked into the hospital room.

You scoffed, strolling in with a small smile. "Your best friend comes here to visit you and this is how you react?"

He glared at you before trying to hide his face behind his hands. "It's embarrassing as fuck having you visit me. I got stabbed and went down in barely a minute. Meanwhile that stupid god damn bowl haircut loser kicked that gangster freak's ass."

You rolled your eyes and pulled over a chair to sit by Hyeonsu in his bed. "Okay, and? The only reason you were there in the first place was because you were getting paid. I'd say that's even more embarrassing because everyone else was there for justice, revenge, or whatever."

"Wow, fuck you."

You burst into a small fit of laughter, replying, "You didn't deny me." He swore at you again while you hummed. "Yeah, yeah. Anyways, how are you feeling? You've been ignoring all my texts."

He huffed. "I didn't want you to visit so I ignored you hoping that would make you leave me alone."

"Clearly you don't know how our friendship works."

"Whatever, dumbass." Hyeonsu finally lowered his hands and turned back to face you. "Also, I'm feeling fine. I wanna get the hell outta here but the doctors are sayin' I should stay one more day so they can make sure my body's recovering normally or something."

"Well, at least you feel okay." You offer him a smile and he barely returned it.

"Yeah." He added more quietly, "Emotionally, though? I don't know if I'm gonna recover."

"That bad? Never heard you bring up your emotions like that before." For once your tone is somewhat sympathetic.

Hyeonsu went silent, his expression unreadable. It stayed like that for a long while. Usually you would've mocked him, but considering what he just went through, you held back. Worry slowly filled you up as the silence dragged on.

It wasn't until nearly a whole minute later he finally spoke up again.

"Since I'm already embarrassing myself being here, it wouldn't hurt to add to it, huh?"

You only tilt your head to prompt him for more.

He sighed heavily. "Look, I already know how stupid this sounds, but I just want to say I've been thinking about... me. And... I feel weird."

"Go on."

Hyeonsu made vague motions with a hand before having it fall with a "thump" by his side as he sighed again, but more harshly. "Nevermind. It's too stupid."

You push him with, "Hyeonsu, come on. You've told me all kinds of stupid shit before already."

"Ugh. My pride is on the fucking line."

"Then let it out so I can smash it to bits. You'll have space to remake your pride then!" Your reply is responded with a not-very-light punch to the arm. "Ow!"

"Will you take me more seriously if I say I'm having an identity crisis instead?"

"Huh?" The words catch you so much by surprise you could almost ignore the stinging in your arm.

He turned, almost violently, just before you could see his expression. "Yeah. Exactly."

"Embarrassing to say out loud?" you finished for him.

A tense silence fell over the both of you. You suddenly felt awkward, unsure of how to best proceed, but eventually you carefully ask, "What's making you feel like that?" He doesn't answer immediately, and you take the small moment to go back to wincing at your arm.

"I don't fuckin' know. I mean, I do, but..." Hyeonsu groaned, slapping a hand over his face and dragging it down. "It's..."

"Yeah..."

"Want me to guess?"

He turned to look at you just to deadpan. "No, that'll only make me feel more stupid because I know you're gonna say some dumb shit."

You snickered. "Then just say it. Maybe even whisper it, if that helps you feel like you're not announcing something embarrassing to the world."

He thinned his lips, taking your words into consideration, but then shook his head. "You know what, I'll just say it." Hesitance, a dramatic pause. "Me getting my ass beat." Your jaw dropped immediately while he threw his hands up in the air. "There, I fuckin' said it." Once his hands fell back down, he glared at you. "Pick up your damn jaw."

"My bad, I just--" You sputtered over yourself. "Are you--are you being serious? Getting your ass beat is giving you an identity crisis?"

"Don't say it together like that, I'm realizing even more how stupid this sounds."

"I mean, it does sounds funny, but I wanna understand. What's going on?"

"Look, you think I know? I just feel fucking stupid about it," he scoffed.

"I'm telling you, Hyeonsu, this is why dudes like you need to explore your own emotions and be able to vocalize them better instead of just being angry all the time."

"Not this shit again..."

"Okay, sorry, I'm being serious though." You reach a hand out, touching his forearm. "And as your friend, I want to understand and help you get through this, but I can't help you if you can't express it to me." A smile formed on your face as you noticed him relax a little under your touch despite his knitted brows.

"Fine. I guess it's..." He looked off to the side. "I never really thought I was the strongest person in the world, but I did think I was the best around at least. Clearly, I'm not."

"And...?"

"And it's making me think I shouldn't be walking around the way I do." He sighed harshly. "Don't get the wrong idea, I'm not suddenly some insecure loser, I know I'm still better than most people but it just sucks knowing there's people out there who can kick my ass." His eyes dart upwards in thought. "I guess what I'm trying to say is the part of me that thought I was the best got fucked up, so now I don't know what that leaves me with. Am I even THE Hyeonsu Lee if I'm just some guy who can get beat up?"

Slowly, you nod. "So your 'I'm the best!' thing got shattered and you don't feel like anyone without it?"

"I guess. Fuck if I know."

A feeling of pity ran through you at his confession, but you tried not to show it, knowing that would only make your friend mad. "Hm... do you have any plans on what to do about it?"

Hyeonsu shrugged. "Mind my own business more? I don't know. Can't walk around like I own the place now that the two times I've gotten my ass handed to me are both recorded and are online forever."

"Well... minding your own business more seems like a nice idea," you tried to say with encouragement.

Hyeonsu shrugged again, his expression still blank.

You forced a smile and changed the topic. Maybe it'd take off any embarrassment he was feeling. "See? Talking about your feelings wasn't so bad, right?"

You chuckle while Hyeonsu rolled his eyes. "Only 'cause it's you. But that does remind me of another thing."

"Yeah?" You lean in a little, amused when he backs off just as much with what appeared to be a somewhat embarrassed scowl.

"It's about you. Aren't you embarrassed to be friends with a guy who got his ass beat?"

For the second time, your jaw almost dropped but you managed to replace it instead with a breathy laugh. One that evolved into a small fit of giggles.

Hyeonsu slipped his forearm out from under your hand to cross his arms. "Oh, great. You're laughing."

"I-I'm sorry--" you try to reply between laughs, "It's just... wow, dude. This is the one thing you're ashamed of? Out of all things I could be embarrassed of being your friend for?"

You manage to dodge a slap from his hand on your arm while he snapped, "If you've got that many things to be embarrassed of, then why the hell are you my friend?"

Seeing his frustration made you attack back with comfort--in the form of a forehead flick. "Because I like you, you asshole."

He rubbed at his forehead until he registered your words and widened his eyes. Shock was written all over his face and you didn't realize what he was thinking until his cheeks began to turn slightly red.

"Oh. Oh my god. I didn't mean it like that." Suddenly, you felt as flustered as him, waving your hands around in an attempt to explain yourself. "I meant I like you because you're my friend!"

"...Right."

Was that... disappointment in his voice? You didn't give yourself time to mull over it, being still panicked by what you had just said, and continued on with, "If I didn't leave you for literally beating up people, why would I leave you because you got your ass beat? Do you think I was friends with you because you were strong? No, it's because you're fun to hang around!" Hyeonsu stared at you, his expression a pokerface and you tried to convince him with a joke, "What kind of person do you think I am, huh?"

Your smile grew strained as he broke eye contact. "So you don't care, huh?"

"Of course I don't care." You nodded for emphasis. "I'm just glad you made it out alive, especially with that creepy gangster guy. In fact, I want you to stop getting into stupid fights."

Hyeonsu's angry look quickly came back. "Hah, and do what? Start feeding stray dogs? Giving my seat up for old people? Pick up trash for fun?"

"That would be great, actually, but I'm not trying to turn you into a--" You hold up air quotes. "'Good person,' all I'm asking is you to pick your fights wisely." You gave him a cheeky smile. "I don't think you could even manage being a good person."

"Damn right." Finally, Hyeonsu laughed a little. After came a short, peaceful pause, but the silence is broken by him announcing, "Alright, I got it. You and I are still friends, and I'll tone down my attitude by a good 0.2 percent. I guess that way I can still be me."

Grinning, you take the chance to slap his arm back. "That's my man!"

"Ouch, fucker, that's the arm that got hurt."

"Oh, shit, sorry!" you quickly apologize, feeling bad until Hyeonsu burst into laughter.

"I'm kidding. You fell for such an easy trick."

You slapped him again, with a bit more force this time. "How am I supposed to know?! You're literally laying in a hospital bed!"

He just hummed in amusement before casually bringing up another conversation topic and you tagged along with a shake of your head. Before you both knew it, an hour had passed, and you figured it was time for you to head home.

"Besides, I promised a friend I was gonna study with them."

Hyeonsu waved you off. "Fine, go do your lame stuff."

Easily sensing the bitterness in his voice, you reach a hand out to pinch his cheek, lightly pulling on it. "Aw, you gonna miss me? Don't worry, I'll come back tomorrow!"

He grumbled and grabbed your wrist to stop your teasing. "If I see your stupid face tomorrow, I'm beating you up."

"Ooh, I'm so scared!" You pull away from his grip to hug yourself, pretending to shiver. When he held up a fist, you jumped back, laughing as you made your way to the exit of the room. "Okay, okay, I'm done!" You turned around to smile and wave. "See ya, Hyeonsu!"

His fist turned into a middle finger. "Bye, loser." You roll your eyes, about to turn again to leave until he said, "Also..." You look over your shoulder at him. "Thanks for sticking around." His cheeks flushed red as he muttered the words, and for a reason you weren't ready to confront, you felt your own cheeks warming up.

"You're very welcome." As you officially left the room, shutting the door behind you, you became painfully aware of how much your cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing. The warmth on your face only worsened as you recalled how much Hyeonsu was smiling and laughing with you, and then you thought about how he sounded a little disappointed when you said the two of you were just friends and--

"Nope, nope, nope, that's a problem for another day." You speedwalked down the hall, determined to make it home without bringing it up ever again.

Nonetheless, you were content to spend some good time with your best friend after making sure he was okay.

#viral hit x reader #how to fight x reader #hyeonsu lee x reader #requests #gold21101 #whew i feel like i havent written a longer piece in a while this was nice to do #also fun fact! this was the og idea for the hyeonsu angst request a while ago but it didnt turn out angsty enough lol #i still liked it tho so i developed it into its own thing and now here we are :]#also i just realized this is the 2nd time in a row i wrote reader pulling on hyeonsu's cheek lmao

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