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maggotmouth · 4 years

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hello, its nora again ( she/her, gmt ) n this is the ethereal but spoiled alma olive putnam (she goes by all 3 names cos she’s pretentious as fuck). ive never used anya taylor joy as her fc before but anya has a smile that looks like she knows something u dont and thats completely alma’s vibe so we’re gonna try it out. she was raised in a farmhouse in vermont, big horse girl energy. very hungry for everything life has to offer. wakes up and smells the success in her blood. luvs the smell of libraries and listening to french music from a tinny record player in knee socks. here is pinterest. bio is below the cut, like this post to be bombarded with plotting messages but i might forget or get shy tho so pls message me x

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ANYA TAYLOR - JOY , CIS-FEMALE , SHE/HER → according to the school records , ALMA OLIVE PUTNAM has been attending sacred heart for the past three years . i last saw them hanging around the sacred heart cathedral ; i think they were studying the stations of the cross with a smile like a well - kept secret. at twenty - one years old , alma has been studying classics and get this , i heard that she has made a fortune on the black market by forging renaissance art to sell to collectors — figure it’s true ? everyone around here always associates them with neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do in french new wave films , running barefoot through the woods drunk on red wine and untapped power , a smile like a locked door that speaks only in riddles . in the time since these strange happenings , they have have encountered any unexplained occurrences . ( written by nora , 24 , she/her , gmt )

aesthetics.

a red beret nestled on top of bright platimum locks, neck scarves tied around your throat the way they do it in french new wave films, running barefoot through the woods in feckless hedonism, china dolls with porcelain faces lined against the walls of your room, the mona lisa smile, knee-socks tugged over the hockey grazes on your knees, a forged botticelli drying on your easel, ophelia floating in the middle of a lake.

proceed w caution, tw for death, drugs, alcohol, violence

the short form. (still long af tbh)

— studying classics cos she thinks it makes her sound smart, but actually hates fuckin latin and just loves learning about feckless hedonism and the festivals of bacchus and writing about how all women in myth are literally forgotten. was expelled from princeton in her first year so her parents basically paid her way into sacred heart and the board really liked her in her interview. i think the governors kind of expect to see her in the supreme court one day or st

— born in vermont in a big old farmhouse. her great-great-grandfather moved to america as an immigrant and worked on a plantation, made his way up cos he could speak a lot of languages and therefore win more people over. for the last two generations, putnam men have owned the farm and do little of the dirty work. big in the meat industry.

— both her parents had large personalities, so alma’s never really been shy around adults, even as a kid she’d speak to them in a forthright, confident manner, and because she was always surrounded by adults, she’s always seemed a bit wise beyond her years.

— very much a consolidation of every character in the secret history. has a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs. obsessed with w.h. auden and the beat poets. — ”aestheticism is the only thing worth pursuing and even that is pointless” — is majoring in classical civilisation. can read ancient greek and latin. also speaks french.

— studies hard and plays hard. she gets top marks but it’s because academia is literally her life, she loves the smell of libraries, the ancient smoke of learning, of feeling like old wine in a new bottle reincarnated from the bones of some old, dead witchy woman who invented a cure for cowpox or somethin.

— isn’t a foward-planner, however. alma prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manner so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenaline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

— pretentious motherfucker. loves poetry, especially the romantics, loves morbid ones too, edgar allen poe, sylvia plath, allen ginsberg, she just loves them all. can’t get enough. her favourite films are like…. wanky artfilm independent european cinema. especially french new wave. “what do you think of goddard’s work??” while snorting a line off someone’s sink at 5am on a school night, but you can bet she’ll make it to that 9am class. — very intelligent and beautiful and knows both of those facts. plays devil’s advocate. humanitarian, vegan. — judgemental but takes great care not to appear so. petty and vindictive

— obsessively devours mystery and thriller novels. she herself is a gillian flynn book waiting to happen. — tries to be an enigma. wants to be mysterious and unreadable because that’s what books have taught her makes women desirable and interesting and cool. very amy dunne in the way she expertly reinvents herself to suit her audience, when she wants to impress

— an incredibly talented dancer. she was accepted to juliard to study ballet, but after an injury to her foot she had to refuse her place, something that she’s incredibly bitter about. she went to princeton instead to study classics for a semester, before being expelled.

— alma comes from a family of high-end art dealers. while her parents paid her way into the school, that was mostly due to previous expulsions, not low intelligence. she’s incredibly intelligent but will only put in effort when she deems the cause worthy. she’s frustrating to teach, because she requires evidence, truth, in order to accept something as worthwhile. she plays devil’s advocate, but academically she’s brilliant.

— she can recognise any renaissance artist just by their brush strokes. her aunt and uncle deal antiques and art, and from an internship with them after her expulsion from princeton, she learned how to market and sell art, how to recognise originals in contrast to fakes. from this, alma began to produce counterfeit art and sell it off as the original work to the contacts she had made in her internship. it’s disloyal, but it’s powerful.

— act like the flower but be the serpent under it. is a user. manipulative. leads people on. will throw another student under the bus to demonstrate her own intelligence and integrity — heavily involved in the theatre society. loves attention. — has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive, runs track, played lacrosse at school, now is a cheerleader probably. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning.

— her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee-high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk. — relates to ophelia from hamlet and sibyl vane in dorian gray. weirdly obsessed with women who commit suicide. loves jackson pollock paintings and abstract art. – likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramophone because “the sound quality is better” kfdsjj.

plots.

here are some generic wanted plots but by all means message me so we can flesh them out more if any strike ur interest:

study buddies !! someone who is equally unprepared and so spends all night in the library with alma before a big deadline, maybe they even met in the library

if they’re from new england or vermont, then cousins . second cousins / extended family / family friends – probably spat volavons on your character once as children, omg childhood friends !

honestly someone who is fully in love with her or crushing on her that she can just break would be sweet :/ or on the other hand someone she unexpectedly gets feelings for and actually wants to guage her own eyeballs out bc of it

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sporting or academic rivalries !

hockey / cheer friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!!

fellow academics who like meeting up to discuss latin and greek ! gimme a secret society bonding by their love of ancient learning

i reckon she’s in a lot of societies, definitely the film club, maybe works as a projectionist at the uni cinema if they have one so give me ppl affiliated with that, give me fellow wanky pretentious art-lovers and poets and historians who will go to museums and galleries with her and listen to the velvet underground on vinyl

people she gets mortally fucked off her tits with at parties

people who think she is throwing her academic potential away by caving to hedonistic impulse

a secret society !!! honestly i would die for a slug club esque thing in which the children of notable families are invited to dinners or alma’s also an art forger, so maybe like a club of students set up to basically forge paintings and documents from the university special collections

people she has drunkenly made out with, hooked up with, or regularly sleeps with casually, maybe even a friend w benefits she is repressing feelings for, i love angst,

people she used to date or unrequitedly likes, but to them it’s just a physical thing, give me all the thirsty angst plots, and maybe some softness too, i need some religion in this girls life, she is a roman catholic after all

full biography.

alma olive putnam.

intro.

the girl is a knife. razor-sharp, double-edged, the bright shine of a two-faced, lovely thing. silver like the secrets you magpie thief from other heads. you’re a scavenger of knowledge, of tidbits, of gossip to lock away for later use and late-night re-inspection. a mind is like a clock if you get to learn the pieces. bit by bit, you dismantle the inner workings of the brains that tick around you – how easy it is to change it’s path, how words and their meanings can make a person laugh or cry in an instant. to have the power to control that is to be a god. it’s the power trip you crave wielding pom-poms in your hands; a possessive need for control that a younger you, small and weak, never had as a child. small lips, smaller smile, a doll clutched in your too-hungry fingers, hard enough to shatter the bones of a real infant. you cut your hair with your mother’s kitchen scissors before the autumn falls, rendering you out of season, unfit for the cold weather that beats against the nape of your neck, where a stick-and-poke marks the star you were born under ; the bull. “mama, when will i be a queen?” as soon as they find a crown small enough not to slip from your head.

biography.

if you get hungry enough, they say, you start eating your own heart. hands red, stained by pomegranate seeds, the empty pulp of its shell splattered on your thighs you find yourself wondering – what would it be like to want? in the beginning, you never knew hunger. twins, born under the same star, you first, him second – a nuclear family. never a sister to compete with, you were always the cherry pie of your parents’ hearts. white-haired, blue-eyed, beautiful baby of mine. the townhouse in vermont and the summer house in lyon, you wanted for nought, showered with attention, saddled with gifts - hardly a wonder you came to rely on such affection as a confirmation of your own worth.

at eight years old you first met death, blood on a gingham-print dress, a smear of it over your cheekbone and the pulp of a mangled animal at your feet murdered by the hands of a stable boy. “alma, my precious baby, you get away from that filth,” your mama would cry from the upstairs balcony – cigar in one hand and a bloody mary in the other – though whether the filth she referred to was the dead pig or the boy with a kernel of corn in his mouth, you never did find out.

your family earned their keeps in farming, great-grandfather wolfgang hildegarde a german immigrant, great-grandmother maura lisbon a prairie girl. they fell hopelessly in love between troughs and pig-shit, working for three dollars a day at a farm their descendants would later own, trade deals with the indians, vacations to calcutta, your father todd putnam in the kind of sheepskin coat his father’s father could only dream of owning. he worked hard so that you’d never have to. your mama once asked – you heard it through the window, rounding cartwheels across the picket-fenced lawn – could he not find a respectable career rather than selling shrink-wrapped pork for a dime a dozen? that blood money had no business raising a child. you look far back enough, edie, your father had said in his low, strong voice that could bring a civil war to silence, and i think you’ll find that all money is blood money.

language was never fickle on your tongue, french dinner time talk by the time you were out of your hush puppy shoes, your mama fixing the au pair a smile as she fixed herself another martini. you learned the clarinet at four and how to dance with the grace of a swansong at six, ethereal under a spotlight, an audience captive in the palm of your hand. by eight you knew that you’d always been destined to be loved. loved so hard they would want to taste you, bite into the soft plump of your cheek and eat you alive. that was how magnetic you wanted to feel. but mother hamsters eat their own young when penned in together too long, and soon you became too wild, too restless, another package on your father’s delivery invoice, box-shipped out to english boarding school.

fitting in had never been something you had to concern yourself with. you were always the shiny new toy the other girls wanted to play with, bright like a dropped coin from a magpie’s beak. wherever you went, you seemed to leave a trail of awe, pig-tailed harriet’s adoring you, imitating you, teachers forgiving your class-time chatter for the sake of your wild heart and the restless spirit you possessed. tell us what it’s like in the states, alma. they’d coo, enamoured by your hollywood drawl. does your father own a gun? you hardly knew. barely even knew the colour of his hair, for the scarce amount of times he’d stoop to kiss your cheek, though you’d tell silver-tongued tales if it’d guaranteed you an audience. when you learned how to smile at the right times, and that flattery would get you everywhere, it soon became apparent that charm would pave the yellow brick road to success even when your lack of drive couldn’t.

the road you followed – gum-snapping, roller-blading, friendship bands all up your arm – eventually led you to sacred heart. bright-eyed and gingham skirted, you’d always known you were more. there was a hunger in you to be something extraordinary, a want so adamant to be imagined and desired that it was almost savage. in leather-bound volumes and a circle of stones, you were helen of troy, the girl for whom they’d launch a thousand ships. but there’s so much rage within you, collecting like sawdust in cavernous parts. hockey helped. there was something grounding about the feeling of a stick clasped in your hands. sweat. stiff knuckles. feet pounding the earth. the smash of wood against flesh in the scram of a game, passed off as mere enthusiasm. “slipped, sorry.” hockey is the one thing you had that was yours alone – a feral instinct that motivates you to play; something primitive within you that sparks an energy like no other. on the pitch, you feel alive. you feel like a god.

#heretics:intro #heretics:ooc #my two most pretentious characters ive ever written n i bring em both here . we love to see it.

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ingayderzim · 4 years

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not to be that person who asks a googleable question but wtf is hazbin hotel bc i googled it and the only “critical” thing i could find was a typo-ridden article of someone saying it has good animation and its haters are stupid. i was able to glean what it is/what it’s about but idk about the discourse lmao

Im actually so glad u asked this. Here's the lowdown, this is my definitive answer to hazbin shit from here on out, unless new info comes about of course.

Hazbin hotel is an independent cartoon by vivziepop. Most people (that ive seen) have agreed that the pilot of the show really isnt that great but the reason it has so many fans is bc of the entertaining livestreams, massive amounts of canon content produced (she has had these characters for years), unique art style, and the characters. (Ass ugly but unique.)

Its haters are totally justified bc of some of the "controversial" (read: bad) things vivziepop has done. Here's the conclusion that my friends and classmates (several of whom are Black, one Hispanic woman, and one trans woman...nellie if ur reading this i 💜 u) and i came to after discussing this stuff. I am NOT saying "well my black/trans friend said it's ok so i dont have to think about it!" this is based on a few different conversations that my friends and i have had about this topic so what im saying is that my opinion was formed by talking about this situation with multiple people affected by the controversy.

One controversial thing is a drawing u can easily find on google (called beastiality.jpg i believe?) It's a cropped (chest and up, but hes obv naked) drawing of vivziepops character, drawn by vivziepop, moaning, with a snake around him. The character is 17. Many people have interpreted this as child porn. I dont think this image is pornographic, i think it's a stupid joke (it was even tagged as a joke iirc) and completely inappropriate but since it's 8 years old on top of not being porn, i think it's just an example of a dumb drawing. That being said, i would NEVER argue that someone who is uncomfortable w the drawing (im uncomfortable with it! It's gross just not porn) or considers it porn is wrong. They are entitled to that opinion and i would never expose them to vivziepops work or talk about her stuff around them if they expressed to me that they disliked the image.

Another thing is that she drew a doodle of two racist TERFs. This is the one where my friends of color, my friends who are black, and my friends who are trans women took the lead. I sat back for this part and here's their and my opinion on this after talking about it and verbally going through this whole situation.

She was following these women (who had done blackface and stuff) and drew art of them. The art was a "quick doodle" that she did apologize for and she said she didn't realize the extent of their beliefs. She knew they werent great but hadnt consumed much of their content in depth. I believe her bc while ive never followed anyone as bad, ive certainly followed some pieces of shit and didnt notice for months simply bc im not online all the time and bc of the volume of people i follow, combined with the non chronological algorithms lately.

At the risk of screwing myself, im going to admit that there was about a year or so of my life where i enjoyed The Amazing Atheist. I was even subbed to him. I was a nonbinary lesbian (2 things he cant stand lmaoo) in catholic school and therefore i strictly watched his videos about theological stuff since thats what was frustrating me at the time. I had no clue the type of evil racist, transphobic, homophobic (yes ik hes bi), misogynistic things he thought, said, and did, bc i didnt watch those videos. I literally only watched select theological ones that could be of use to me while edgily debating my teachers (sorry mrs macdougal but u had it coming). I was about 15 at the time and im 19 now. Im sorry to everyone i hurt by ever having supported him. I had one of his quotes written in the inside of my religion notebook in high school. I regretted it and ripped the page out the moment i discovered the truth about him. I cant stress enough how much I HATE HIM. Thats an example of what i think happened here tho.

One of my friends who is a trans woman said (paraphrasing) "i think the worst thing shes done is that terf art but i believe the apology especially bc it was a quick drawing."

That being said, i would NEVER argue with someone who wanted nothing to do w vivziepop bc of this. That's their right. 100%. I would never expose them to her work after that.

The last thing i remember is something about a pedophilic couple in a comic but i heard it was a 17 year old and a 19 year old. Im 19 and if one of my peers did that i wouldnt say pedophile but id say ur a fucking weirdo, BUT, the kids were fake and being written by an adult so i can totally see her thinking that age gap is much less of a big deal than it really is. Like she forgot what it's like at this age. Idk how true any of that part is tho, i heard that info entirely secondhand.

Another thing to do with racism is that there's a joke within the show where one character says to the other

"don't get your taco in a twist"

"Was that supposed to be racist or sexist?"

"Whichever one pisses you off more"

I thought that was gross but one of my friends pointed out that vivziepop is of el salvadorian descent so that's her business. Like if i made a lesbian joke of equal or greater offensiveness than that and someone tried to call me lesbophobic over it id be like "that's literally my territory."

Oh speaking of which that character's name is vaggie and shes a lesbian but it's not pronounced w the same G you'd hear in "vagina." Vivziepop seems to name characters weirdly (like how in helluva boss theres a guy named blitzo and the o is silent) so maybe it's a pussy joke but i have no idea.

The animation was.................better than i could do, i wanna say the faces and gestures were good but god i remember there was a part with a car and my gf had to pause so i could laugh my ass off at it. I wouldn't describe the animation as a highlight but i liked the style in motion i thought it was a fun change. Vivziepops style is not appealing imo but i appreciate it as an art student and as someone whose friends all like she ra and steven universe where every character looks the goddamn motherfucking same, and while its chaotic and i dont care for it, the style actually works way better in motion than you'd think.

A good rule that i def use is to assume hazbin fans are guilty until proven innocent. If someone says they dont care about the discourse surrounding it and like it no matter what, RUN! They would support the show even if the creator was in fact a pedophile, or had done the blackface/was a terf herself! They probably support some horrible ppl and are probably "anti antis." A lot of them are minors tho so i'd say block and move on.

So, do i like it or not? Im an art student and all my friends like it so while i didnt think it was funny, i do fuck with it. At the convention this weekend my friends and i had a convo that led to me drawing an ahego hoodie where the faces were angel dust (a character's) face. It was a joke that i could make a killing by selling that in a booth at a con.

Theres really nothing compelling about the show but my friends like it so i join in on their conversations, and i do have a soft spot for angel dust bc he's like a worse, less amazing and gorgeous version of one of my characters, Candy, the love of my life.

A lot of people say the show was edgy/offensive and maybe im just desensitized but besides the taco thing i didnt pick up on that whatsoever??? The Archer episode "Swiss Miss" is worse than helluva boss and hazbin combined and even archer isn't offensive.

Im probably not aware of all the "discourse" (aka people being reasonably uncomfortable by weird and bad shit this random woman has done, and other ppl saying their opinions are wrong when it's literally just an opinion about a show) so if anything she's done isnt included in here it's not to defend vivziepop, this is genuinely all i know. I wouldnt describe myself as a fan of hers.

#hazbin hotel #anon

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midoriyaizukustan-inactive · 4 years

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OH NO I JUST HAD A THOUGHT. nana fought afo. What if. What if he turned her into a nomu? Nomus cant die of old age, right? It could be possible fuck,,, FUCK.

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS OHHHhH FUCK

ohhh FUCK i do like this idea though that is EXACTLY what afo would do,,,ohhhOHHHH ohhh hh,,,oh fuck,,and it’s plausible bc no one saw afo finish her off,,,for all we know she didnt actually “die”

hey so yknow how people are like “toshinori’s gonna die!!” what if. wh. what if this. is. how w

bro im hurting my own FUCKIGN feelings but this is SUCH a good concept in the worst way possible yknow like SHIT

if this is canon i think she’d just be his first experiment (and thus subsequently a failure nd she dies a horrible death)(literally gonna kill afo) but the POSSIBILITIES if he was successful,,,ohhhhh oh that hurts

ok hear me out

say like during a battle, perhaps when afo is breaking out of prison (bc thats always my goto next ~big battle~), mido and the gang meet the nana nomu. and like, bc of the connection midoriya has w the previous users, he kinda gets like a zing when she shows up and starts fighting. he can tell theres smth Different abt her and cause midoriya is midoriya, he tries reaching out to her and probably almost dies

he doesnt give up tho he just knows he needs to help her. he tells toshinori abt it and how weird it felt to have a connection w a nomu of all things nd so he and toshinori theorize why exactly midoriya feels the connection. toshi calls up gran torino bc torino knows abt ofa and the experiences it brings as well. however no dice there bc ofc midoriya just keeps breaking boundaries w ofa, so he, gran torino, nd toshinori r all confused on why mido feels a connection. mido just knows he has to Help

so probably during his next internship, after a patrol nd mido is heading home, midoriya finds her. im thinkin once the connection between him and nomu nana formed, she broke through the haze enough to know she did Not want to be near afo but she doesnt know how to function on her own w no one telling her what to do, so mido just kinda finds her huddled up in some alleyway and dying of starvation/dehydration one night

after freaking out and then giving her some of his water nd probably a granola bar mido had in his utility belt, he starts to talk to her. nomu nana cant understand at first but eventually, mido breaks thro to her a lil bit bc the connection they inherently share w ofa, and she just starts weeping bc this is a fate worse than death and im just. i am in fucking agony dude

mido has to leave then, but he promises he’ll be back, so nomu nana just doesnt move. so they meet up like that a few times while mido tries to figure out where to go from here

hes definitely gonna have to call aizawa nd toshinori to see where they can put her bc mido isnt gonna let her stay in this alleyway forever. btw that conversation is Very Long bc like toshinori knew mido was concerned abt the nomu but he didnt know he FOUND HER and aizawa didnt know any of this shit at ALL and so when mido is just like “hey can i bring a nomu home??” out of the fucking BLUE he knocks back six advils w a shot of tequila before turning to face his problem child

eventually smth is worked out tho. theyll meet mido and her at the front of ua w tsukauchi and some other pros (including gran torino HO) in case she acts out, nd then they’ll go from there

anyway so mido goes to bring her to ua one night after his patrol’s done, nd she starts trying to speak. nd mido is excited bc this is a first!! its progress whadda ya know. so he’s encouraging her and trying to guess what shes saying but eventually quiets down when he realizes how frustrated nomu nana is and how hard it is for her to try and speak

eventually tho she’s able to form a word, coincidentally right when they arrive at ua

“na...na”

toshinori and gran torino immediately bristle and so does nana bc she hasnt seen them since the last time she was herself which was like,,,probably over 30 years ago now

nd midoriya is just like “nana? who’s nana?” and well. toshi, torino, nd nana all have a rough night that night bc like torino tsukauchi and aizawa know that nomus can be made out of ppl obv, and im sure torino told toshinori smth abt that, so they know almost immediately what happened and who this is and oh, of course, it makes sense why mido had a connection w her now, and oh god

toshinori hasta head out for a bit (by that i mean he gets choked up nd cant look at nana) and gran torino just kinda slumps like a puppet w it strings cut. tsukauchi is trying to comfort both of them while keeping an eye on nomu nana bc he doesnt know if she’ll lash out over seeing these ppl from her past

meanwhile nana is like panicking internally bc oh shit memories and even more Bad Feelings abt afo but isnt she supposed to serve him now?? but she doesnt Want To and oh man. so she’s having her own issues and just starts mumbling her name over and over and mido is like “who is NANA hello??”

and just. toshinori eventually gets himself together enough to like lightly put a hand on mido’s shoulder and to gently take a step forward, and asks, “nana? shimura nana?”

nd nana nomu just nods her head bc she doesnt know hardly anything anymore, but she knows she has feelings, and that feels right, and she opens her mouth to say “nana” again but what comes out is

“all...might”

cause she cant remember his name, only what afo called him, but she remembers his face -- just with more baby fat and eyes less sunken -- and she knows that she knows toshinori

and toshinori cries a bit (who can fucking blame him thats essentially his MOM) while mido is quietly questioning what tf is going on and if toshinori’s okay, but nana relaxes bc she knows that whatever happens now, she’ll be okay

after all, all might is here

god this hurt so fucking much but its SUCH a good idea ohhh echo what have u done

#everyone step back im writing a fic fuck it im going to do it i promise #im thinking mmm 7k words?? maybe more #im doing it you cant stop me #itll be out in ten days give or take i cant #thanks echo im in shambles in the best way possible #shimura nana #midoriya izuku #sorahiko torino #c makes a word #answer #nomu nana au

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1-800-yugyeom · 5 years

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could you write a blackpink female reader x rose smut in which rose is very dominant and jealous? thank you

ugh i love jealous doms anon why are you doing this to me i need to be studying.

listen i think we can all agree that rosé is BEAUTIFUL like her visuals are downright killer right and there’s not a thing that could make you want anybody but her

and she knows that. not only bc you’ve told her on several occasions, but also bc she knows how you look at her when you think she’s too preoccupied to notice ;)))))

and she also knows that you would never do anything to jeopardize your relationship and she trusts you 100%

but on the other hand.. she’s aware that you’re incredibly gorgeous as well, even more so in her opinion

and as much as she trusts you, she has a hard time trusting other ppl around you

bc at the end of the day you’re HER girl and she doesn’t want anyone to the idea in their head that you’ll ever ever be theirs

she tries her best to keep her jealousy at bay and to never take out her anger and frustration at other ppl on you

especially over something as trivial as a brief touch or a fleeting comment or a wink in your direction

but unfortunately sometimes there are occasions where the “harmless” flirting goes too far for rosé to just.. stand there and watch

she hates the feeling of jealousy. it washes over her in hot waves, making her stomach turn and acid form in the back of her throat in the shape of searing insults that are in no way tasteful, elegant, or roseanne-like.

and sometimes she can stand there and suppress her emotions, especially when you quickly brush the person off or very bluntly state something like “my girlfriend is sitting right there”

but sometimes you let things go too long for rosé’s liking, either out of obliviousness or just bc you’re too nice she’s not sure, but she doesn’t like it one bit

like when the two of you attend a party held by one of your close mutual friends on a random friday night

you’ve both been stressed from work all week so when rosé had managed to get out of the practice studio early enough

you decided to release your frustrations by drowning yourselves in alcohol and loud music.

you would have the rest of the weekend to cuddle and catch up on lost time that work took away from you, now was a chance to have some fun and let loose

except rosé couldn’t

not with the way she could see from afar, the woman standing next to you getting closer and closer with every passing second

this was the exact reason she had barely left your side the entire night. she just wanted to get the two of you some drinks to speed up the de-stressing process.

however it seemed like every time she left, someone took it as an open invitation to take her place

and she was tired of it.

tired but still very very angry

she felt the familiar tightness in her throat and burn behind her eyes as she watched the girl fiddle with the buttons on your red cardigan and check you out very openly

you had accepted a drink from her, you let her touch your arm

almost in a trance she continued to watch your interactions, unable to jump out of line and go to you or to run out of the house in angry tears

she watched the expressions on your face and found herself getting angrier and angrier, were you enjoying this? did you know she was watching and wanted her to suffer?

all the confidence she had in the fact that you only want her is crumbling fast and it’s being replaced by ugly doubt

meanwhile you’re trying ceaselessly to end the conversation with this very obviously drunk girl, which had started innocently enough

she had come up to you, saying that she could’ve sworn the two of you had met before and that she knew you

and instantly she looked vaguely familiar, until you realized that she was a past one night stand of yours from college

you immediately felt a cold pit open up in your stomach but despite this, you decided to play it safe and continued to be polite

even as hazy memories of a filled bar and a tiny dorm room resurfaced, instantly setting off warning bells in your head and making guilt brew in the pit of your stomach

you quickly came up with a half-true reply, “oh yeah, um, we took that psych class together a few semesters ago i think.”

from the look in her eyes.. she knew that you remembered more than just the class

“right! oh my god i can remember sticking pretty close to you because you did so well in that class,” she said, making sure to emphasize just how close you were by laying a hand on your arm.

from there she made the decision to move into more.. intimate territory

playing with the ends of your hair as she asks you if you came alone, what your plans were later tonight, if you could ditch them

all of which you answered honestly, not wanting her to think there was any gray area or possibly that you could recreate your night together

however she didn’t take the hint and rosie still wasn’t back yet

the girl had handed you a drink, which you now held but still hadn’t taken a drink of. it wasn’t the kind you liked.

not the kind you knew rosie was coming back with, you thought guiltily.

at the thought of rosie you began to scan the room to look for her coming back, not even noticing the other girl getting closer and closer to you

however she yanked your attention back when she took one of the buttons on your sweater between her fingers and complimented your fashion sense, all while she raked her eyes down your form fitting outfit

let’s just say you were thoroughly uncomfortable at this point

you choked out a quick “thanks” and took a few steps back, lifting up onto your tip-toes to look over the crowd for a familiar head of blonde hair

you feel the girl slide her hand down your stomach to your hip

which is when you spot the love of your life on the opposite end of room, standing by the drink table with steam coming out of her ears while she looks directly at you

your eyes meet and you can see it, the anger, the jealousy, the doubt

as much as you want to move forward, your feet stay rooted to your spot as you stare back at her with wide eyes

visibly furious, she stomped back over to where she had left you not even 5 minutes ago

if you wouldn’t let people know you were hers, then she would do it herself

and she wasn’t coming for you, no, she was walking straight towards the other girl

which is embarrassingly enough the first time you realized you were about to have a problem on your hands

throwing the other girl’s hand down and rushing to meet rosé halfway you grabbed both of her wrists, halting her movements

her skin was hot to the touch, face screwed up and cheeks red

she looked absolutely, terrifyingly beautiful

gently, you tried to coax her gaze from your admirer back to you, rubbing your thumb against her flushed cheek and guiding it towards you

“hey baby calm down okay? let’s just go home, will you please take me home?”

her eyes finally moved to your face and you watch her nostrils flare, her teeth grit together

and you realize she wasn’t just angry at the girl at the bar, she was angry at you too

the next thing you know her lips are being pressed roughly against yours in a searing kiss, no doubt intended to draw attention and show her possession over you

rosé doesn’t stop there however, pulling your body in flush against her and moving her hands from your waist to your ass, squeezing harshly

she kisses you with everything she has, showing you all the emotions flowing through her right now. it takes your breath away with how passionate it is, almost like she’s trying to prove something to you, something to everyone.

you pull away a minute later, unable to breathe from the intensity of the kiss. rosé is still staring at you with stormy eyes, just as angry as before but now you could tell with the way her pupils had dilated, also slightly turned on.

“hope that got the point across to your friend,” she said shortly before tugging you out the door and away from the party.

still pulling you by the arm, she makes a beeline straight for the car.

despite still being extremely angry, she still opens your car door for you, waiting patiently for you to climb in and then slamming it shut, making you wince.

she climbs into the driver’s side, quickly putting on her seatbelt and starting the car.

you look at her, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind her ear and taking a deep breath before opening your mouth.

“chae, i can explain-“

“i think you’ve done enough tonight,” she bit back, a displeased look still evident on her face.

luckily you see her cheeks started to cool down, her shoulders become more relaxed, and you know being inside the house was overwhelming her.

“i know you’re angry but we need to talk about this,” you try to say with a reassuring look, met with nothing but a frown and a cold glare.

“then talk,” she says.

sighing you take her hand back into your own, drawing little shapes on the back with your thumb while you think of what to say “she’s just someone i had a class with a long time ago”

“oh yeah because ex-classmates feel each other up and tug on each other’s clothes, right? you sure you didn’t know each other a little better than that?”

“okay, yeah?! so what?? we fucked. a long time ago, before i even knew you. but it’s not MY fucking fault that she didn’t get it the first OR second time i said i had a girlfriend and you were nowhere to be seen!”

you knew as soon as it came out of your mouth that would only make chae angrier. neither of you had ever mentioned past hookups or relationships for the other’s sanity. you knew it drove rosé crazy to hear you talk about anyone else.

but you had reached the end of your patience. you didn’t want to fight and the fact that chaeyoung wouldn’t listen when you told her the flirting was unsolicited only made you more desperate to get your point across.

“put on your seatbelt. now.” she said in a demanding tone.

“what the hell chaeyoung, i want to talk to you-“

“yeah well i’ve heard enough” she stated matter-of-factly.

“we’re going home baby, isn’t that what you wanted?” she said a moment later, tone more velvety and threatening.

this was the same voice she used when she told you beg, when she told you she was very displeased with your behavior and that you were to be punished now, when she told you to touch yourself for her-

the same voice she used when you were in for a long night.

the ride home was tense, the dominant aura coming off rosé in waves, letting you know that you didn’t stand a chance tonight and that excited you.

however you still felt the need to get everything solved before you got home, whether it was a good idea or not.

“rosie, please talk to me right now so i can figure out what you’re thinking,” you said softly, not wanting your voice to come off as a command. there would be nothing that she would hate more right now than feeling like she being given orders.

silence followed your request

you heard her suck in a deep breath, letting it back out shakily, and you feel the mood in the car shift

rosé pulls the car off onto the side of the road and just sits with her hands on the steering wheel before turning the key and everything goes painfully quiet until-

“you know what, who the fuck did that girl think she was.”

you jump in surprise at rosé’s sudden outburst, taken aback but still glad that she’s decided to open up her end of the conversation

“i don’t know, baby. i told her i came with you and that i wasn’t interested but she wouldn’t listen,” you explained calmly, desperate for her to understand that none of this happened bc of anything you did.

“you told her that?” she asks cautiously, almost like she can’t believe you tell people you’re taken, which was such a silly thought. you were so in love with her.

you nodded in response to her question.

“why wouldn’t i?”

you see rosé glance down at her hands, an unsure expression taking over her features.

“j-just.. you’re happy right? there’s nothing else anybody else could give you that would make you even consider-“

“absolutely not,” you say before she can finish her sentence. “and of course i’m happy, rosie. some random girl flirting with me at a party isn’t going to suddenly make me forget that.”

you watch her nod, still looking at her hands sitting in her lap, most likely gathering her thoughts.

slowly she looked up, locking eyes with you and staring at you hard, making you almost feel like she was staring past your eyes and straight into your soul.

“good. i’m not ever gonna let you forget how happy you are with me,” she said with the same dark tone from earlier, lips angling into a smirk, “starting now. go get in the backseat.”

your eyes widen comically, playing right into rosé’s desires. she wanted you to anticipate what was coming next.

“don’t make me repeat myself, babygirl,” she warned, rousing you enough to undo your seatbelt and open your door, complying with her orders in a way that you know will please her.

as you climb into the back, she continues to sit cooly in the front seat watching you through the mirror as you await her next orders

“strip down, baby. i want you completely naked when i come back there.”

with your cheek flushing, you slip your short red cardigan off your shoulders, placing it on the seat beside you.

you do the same with your back camisole and then kick off your sneakers, reaching down to undo the button and zipper on your skinny jeans. you do a very awkward shuffle out of them, almost having to rip them off with their combined tightness and the limited space you had to undress.

in your defense, you had imagined rosé taking them off you at the end of the night.

you catch rosé’s eyes in the mirror, the stupid smirk still on her lips and mirth dancing in her eyes, obviously amused by your struggle.

you pause when you reach your undergarments, starting to feel the oddness of being mostly naked and alone in the back while your girlfriend sat in the front, completely clothed.

“all the way. i’m not coming back until you’ve followed directions.”

wow, what an evil woman. how was this fair?

sighing, you swallow down your shame, unclasping your bra and throwing in into the front seat along with your panties a second later.

rosé picked up your underwear off the seat, inspecting how wet they undeniably had become from the minute she had kissed you back at the party.

“good girl. i can see you’re enjoying this, angel. do you want me to come back now and help you out?”

“yes please.” being polite has always gotten you far with rosé and you were practically ready to say anything at this point to get her in the back with you.

the next thing you know, the door to your right is being pulled open and the cool is nipping at your naked body, giving you goosebumps all over.

she gets comfortable, making you straddle her even though you’re at a high risk of hitting your head off the ceiling of the car. luckily you’re preoccupied craning your neck downwards to finally kiss rosé again.

her tongue pokes at the outside of your lips until you open your mouth and allow it to enter, the feeling of her tongue rubbing against yours enough to make you moan out loud

to your disappointment, rosé pulls away shortly after that, silently spinning you around to face the front seats.

she spreads your legs to hook around each of her own, experimentally stroking up and down your heat, listening to the little whines that fall from your lips.

you sit, completely naked, on rosé’s lap with your back against her chest as she starts to rub your clit slowly, watching you writhe and squirm in her lap.

“who’s girl are you?” she asks sternly, a desperate lilt at the end of her sentence like she’ll explode if you tell her what she wants to hear.

“yours rosie, i’m all yours, oh my god-“ you moan as her speed increases.

she keeps you at a medium, if not kinda slowly and teasing, pace until she pulls her fingers away from your clit completely.

you make a pathetic sound at the loss of stimulation, but let out a happy sigh when she finds your entrance, now wetter than ever.

if you’ve learned nothing else about sex with rosé over the years, you at least know that she loves teasing.

which you’re really hating right now as she slowly pumps one finger in and out of you, not even bottoming out. just pushing in enough for you to really feel it drag along the inside of your walls and then take it away a moment later

the hand that isn’t torturing you, she uses to roll your nipples under her pointer finger, sending a tingling sensation straight to your core.

“please, please chaeyoung, finger me properly i’ll do anything,” you pleaded, finally reaching your breaking point.

she giggled, pleased with your begging but amused that you cracked after such a short amount of time. how cute.

“okay honey bunny but only because you’ve been so good for me so far,” she said, landing a sweet kiss on the back of your shoulder and then trailing them up to lay several open mouth smooches against your neck.

you’d probably have marks in the morning, but wasn’t that half the fun?

finally having mercy, rosé slipped another finger in alongside the first, crooking them upwards before thrusting them in and out shallowly.

the crude sound of your wet pussy filled the car as rosé sped up her fingers, stroking your walls while she thrusted quickly

that combined with the wet sucking noises of rosé’s mouth on your neck and the noises you couldn’t help spilling out of your mouth

your lover could tell the second she hit your g-spot, not only from recognizing the different texture within, but from the way your hips canted upwards and a half-shriek half-moan left your mouth.

from then on she tried her best to thrust her fingers into it every time, trying to get you to cum as fast as possible

not that she didn’t like drawing out your orgasms, but her hand was cramping in the position and there was more you could do at home anyway.

as she continued her steady rough pace, she began to talk to you,making the coil in your tummy tighten even more and bringing you closer to cumming

“do you like it when i leave marks on your pretty skin while i finger fuck you baby?”

“oh my god you’re leaking all over my lap and the seat, so dirty. are you gonna cum for me? make it even dirtier?”

“c’mon baby don’t you wanna be a good girl for me? yeah? then cum around my fingers. just like this.”

vision momentarily blurring and a mini explosion happening in your body, you finally obey rosé’s orders, cumming hard.

you take a few moments to regain the feeling in your legs, panting heavily before rolling off rosé’s lap and onto the leather seat beside her.

rosé affectionately rubs your bare thigh as you stare at her, soaking up her pretty features and putting getting dressed and breaking the intimate moment off for a second more.

“you ready to go, baby?” your gf asks after a long moment, gathering up your clothes from where they’ve been thrown around the car.

“what about you?” you ask, realizing that you still hadn’t reciprocated.

“i can wait until we get home,” she giggled, kissing your forehead when you let out a relieved sigh, glad that you wouldn’t have to deal with even more muscle cramps from having sex in the back of your small car.

“i love you, rosé,” you said as you began to tug your clothing back on. “i love you more than anything.”

the smile you got in response was absolutely breathtaking, spreading across her face so perfectly and then her eyes into little crescents.

“i love you too, (y/n). more than you’ll ever know.”

#rosé.#rose blackpink #park chaeyoung #park chaeyoung imagines #park chaeyoung smut #blackpink imagines #blackpink fanfiction #blackpink x reader #blackpink smut #this is so bad oof #I also just realized I called rosie like a hundred different nicknames throughout this fhksfhd

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judememories · 5 years

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lady gaga voice slowly fadin in: oOoohohOhoh im in love w judas.... ju-Das juda-ah-ah... i rly missed jude tbh so i decided to bring him in as a second. i hv faith i cn manage jugglin i... ...... .. . have faith. in case u dnt kno it is me (nai) n this is like. the one (1) male chara iv ever managed to play longer than jst a few weeks. truly jst Zee Fruit Of My Womb! bt anyway. jst gna leap right in to the intro. we die like men

he pinterest:

me in the voice of a card magician performing on the street: round up round up pick a pinterest any pinterest!

ta-da it’s aesthetics:

lead marbles instead of eyes, a stolen hearse careening down the wrong lane, wearing a faded smiley face sticker on your forehead while receiving a serious lecture, bags under the eyes that are so big they could pack enough clothes for a three week vacation, a cigarette wobbling from your bottom lip as you squint against the sunlight, passing out on a stranger's rooftop, placing sunglasses over the eyes of a biology lab skeleton, gangling around the place like shaggy minus his scooby snacks, saying "fuck off" to inanimate objects

about tha Bitch:

he hd to do community service bc he kind of... hd a bit of a breakdown before the funeral of his elderly neighbour who bsically raised him bc her kids rly didnt care abt her they jst wanted her inheritance?? so he... stole the hearse w her casket still in it n ws jst like... drivin around the place sort of... tryin nt to cry.....KJJFHSFKJGHKFG i mean. it isnt funny its actually sad bt :/ in a very bizarre n jude way. he gt caught n taken in fr questioning bt her son kind of realised hw... broken up abt her death jude ws n had a heart n didnt press charges. regardless he stil hd to do community service bc it ws like taken seriously even tho it ws his first proper offence. doin it rly exhausted n depressed him so when he wsnt doin tht he ws just hibernatin in his room....... n thts where hes been 2 explain his absence to any of u whose charas had... connections w him Way Back When

in a new development in terms of sexuality i jst am nt quite sure....... hes always thot he ws straight... fooled around w a 90s hugh grant lookalike once n ws jst a bit like :/ my rocks rnt blasted off? bt who knows wht the future holds... who KNOWS wht the future holds ladies n gentlemen

frm this point on i wnt lie iv pasted in his old intro bc. a bich is lazy! a bich is predictable! and a bich! is! unapologetic!

born in sheffield in england, bt they went back and forth between there n san fran a lot jude was an unhappy accident. his parents never rly used protection bc they were super Liberal n Au Naturel n believed in the pull out method bc… they were maniacs. bt then the ONE time they used a condom in an effort to b safety conscious it broke n hence…. jude was bornthey just kind of ran w it bc they had such a passionate relationship tht they were like What The Hell…. may as well! itll be fine we’ll learn to be good parents n love him like normal ppl do

spoiler alert: tht didn’t work outthey were ok to him like they weren’t abusive or anything like that bt they just found him to be a massive burden n hindrance to their plansthey literally….. had sex all day every day n acted like a pair of teenagers. it ws a super weird environment for a kid to grow up in bc he literally had no role models or… guidance or…. anything rly. occasionally they’d joke around w him or pretend they even knew what grade he was going into but for the most part they just Didn’t Care one bit

they were both suuuuper into the arts. they’re both rly good sculptors bt they paint too n they actually own a rly successful gallery in san fran

as a result he grew up around a lot of creative n sometimes pretentious ppl. the friends of his parents were more present in his life than his ACTUAL parents bc they were always jetting off to diff countries to scout out new pieces fr their galleries n just have a gd time in beautiful places without…. the annoyance tht ws their son forcing them to b responsible n look after someone else. tbh some of his parents friends were rly damaging too bt….i won’t go into that just yet. it doesn’t rly…need properly explaining bc jude never talks abt it anyway n it….is rather triggering so i’ll jst….leav it for now tbh fgkhdfgh. basically they just were Not Nice n jude had a lot of bad memories he keeps repressed

bc of how he ws raised he has a p cultured taste. he luvs classic lit, especially kerouac, n p much anything artsy. he can play piano 2 n sometimes gets rly high n thinks he’s mozart level gd at composing. i mean he’s gd bt… Calm Down Judepersonality wise he acts out sometimes bc he’s so frustrated. he tried rly hard to be someone his parents wld care abt by doing wild or stupid things so he’d hav funny stories to tell them n tbh sometimes it works n he gets them to laugh w him but it isn’t a parent/son bond n it never rly wil b.

he’s rly sarcastic, sleeps around a lot, has an overflowing secret sketchbook n if he cares abt someone he’ll probably draw them n get rly defensive if they find out abt it fkjgdhfkj bcos he’s an Independent Boy without a sentimental bone in his body. or so he says. at heart he is jst a very Sad Boy w lots of repressed issues like depression genuinely just does NAT giv him a single break bt he plasters over this w wise cracks n never discusses his emotions ever. he’s actually p decent or at least tries to b. he’s kind of like tht bit in superbad where michael cera gets rly drunk n makes a toast to women. tries to b? a feminist bt sometimes fucks up n offends ppl n is like dam..... my bad fr :/

he has p bad insomnia so he like never sleeps fgjkhfgjkf he always has rly sleepy eyes n rubs them tiredly mid conversation. he smokes a lot of weed to try n compensate fr this n make him tired bt he still struggles a lot

ANYWAY that aside he’s at lockwood doing fine arts. he luvs painting n photography n philosophy n all tht. a pretentious fiend sometimes? maybe_so.gif

ummMMMMmm honestly idk i’m blankin on what else to say. ull find him smoking weed reading an american classic or gnawing at his thumbnail n getting charcoal smudges along that Dramatic model jawline. he’s p broody n scruffy n he’s mostly here fr a good time. o and he’s That Guy that would die fr morrissey (his vibe not personality bc i hc jude was depressed n shut himself inside all day when he actually found out what a dick he is dfjkfhg) and all that stone roses the smiths etc stuff music wise. HMU FR PLOTS!!!!!! i’m down fr anything

#wshedintro #grief tw #death tw #mental illness tw #drugs tw #think thts all of them... theres other stuf in his past bt... think iv jst alluded to it rather than anythin specific so. winks!#mayb #abuse tw #bt idk... ok posts

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ingenves · 5 years

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ok its ya girl back at it, same deal ! if u wanna plot just HMU or LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you ! wes is my father & u can peep his pinterest board HERE !

⌈ chris pine, cismale, he/him ⌋ hey, is it WESLEY BIGELOW that you’re looking for? you know, the THIRTY-SIX year old CARPENTER. typically i see them hanging around GRISTOL DOCKS so you could try there! i hear they’ve been in living in PRINCETOWN for THIRTY-SIX YEARS. gristol wouldn’t be the same without them, right? anyway, whenever i see them they make me think of waking up before dawn, an old rowboat sitting in still water & a kitchen full of fresh produce.

tw: car accident & illness

this mans has lived in town his entire life!!! his parents, william and rose bigelow owned a historic farm . willy & rose were high school sweethearts, a shotgun wedding joining them together after rose ended up pregnant with their first child at the age of 19. while rose’s parents were furious with their daughter for being so reckless, william’s father was more than happy to offer them a place to stay and lend a hand taking care of the baby that would soon be on the way.

despite the circumstances, wes was never treated as an accident or a mistake. he grew up in his grandpa’s farmhouse with a loving family. the bigelow family followed some pretty traditional gender roles. wes’ dad and his grandpa would wake at the crack of dawn and work out in the field until sunset while his mother hung around the house to take care of him, doing laundry, making dinner, taking him to the park, everything.

from a young age he was encouraged to help out on the farm but being the mama’s boy he was, he was far more eager to help his mom out with the cooking and the laundry. he was close with his grandfather as well, the two always working on little projects together like building a tree house, birdhouses, his own bee house………………….a lot of houses

but wes was never rly close with his father. william wasn’t much of an emotional or talkative guy, usually just sitting there in stern silence and working the day away. a bit of a scary guy despite not ever doing anything scary?? he’s just an ominous guy that doesn’t rly seem impressed by anything so wes never rly knew where he stood u know.

the one time wes ever really felt close to his father was when they would take little weekend fishing trips together, even though they didn’t really speak. just the fact that william took his time to teach wes how to do everything and didn’t get mad or frustrated when he lost a lure or let a fish go by accident was enough to like…..send the message. that was his way of showing his love u know.

the second bigelow child was welcomed when wes was a kid and while at first he was jealous that his new baby sister was getting all the attention, having a baby around the house was kind of fun. she’d make funny faces and funny noises and he grew to love her pretty quickly. he used to always say that his baby sister was the best thing that happened to him. when she got older, he taught her how to make mud pies and how to play pranks on grandpa who was a rly good sport, all things considered.

car accident & death tw !! the winter of ‘94 would prove to be the worst winter of wes’ entire life. on the way back home to pick up a christmas tree from a nearby farm, the family’s old pick up hit a patch of black ice and ended up flipped into a ditch. it was a bad wreck. luckily his grandpa and sister were safe at home during the time of the crash, but wes and his parents weren’t so lucky, his mother being the unluckiest of the bunch. they were stranded in the middle of the road for two hours before anyone showed up for help and by the time they arrived, it was too late for rose, who got the worst of the injuries. doa at the hospital while wes and his dad walked away with mostly minor injuries. that year, there was no christmas tree and no presents. christmas dinner was replaced with takeout and no one said a word.

illness & death tw !! not long after rose passed away, grandpa bigelow got some bad news. lung cancer that no one really saw coming. just a few months after the diagnosis they were having another funeral for another member of the bigelow clan.

it was a tough year, but they got through it. wes did his job to step up and do all the things his dad couldn’t do; all the things his mother taught him. he expected all of it to make his dad more closed off but it had the reverse effect and for the first time in his entire life, wes and his father had heart to heart conversations.

jump forward to high school and things finally felt like they were back to normal. william wasn’t dating yet but he wasn’t being all that anti-social, either.

wes discovered quickly he was the kind of person that other people liked and he was quite popular??? he made good grades, played football, dating the coolest girl in school (in his own opinion ofc), everything kind of fell into place for him in high school

and then after high school he…………didn’t rly know what to do asdj;fdksgfkdlj he never went to college and decided work around town doing odd jobs and saving some money so he could go off and travel and live his life as a young person craving adventure.

he was gone for abt a year or so before coming back home & he’s just been here ever since, doin his thing

started working with a family friend in his shop, doing what he loved and building things n working with his hands u know and hasn’t stopped doing what he loves ever since

he owns his own shop now & builds custom furniture

the….personality section has Arrived

he’s quite the Charming guy but he talks WAY too much

definitely the kind of guy who will just…..talk about himself non-stop without even realizing it ?? he needs to get his Ego in check even after all these years smh

buT he’s very good at making conversation and is rly a friendly guy!!!! will talk and joke with anyone just because……why not ?? it makes his day when ppl talk to him so he will talk to u even if u dont feel the same way

highkey the kind of person to start up a random conversation w a stranger in the grocery story just because

lowkey uncomfortable with feelings and still isn’t super great at expressing emotions and his thoughts but ya boi is trying his best

but he’s rly good at picking up on signals. he can’t express his own emotions but he’s like….pretty in tune with other ppl

a very platonically affectionate guy. loves hugging his buddies and telling them how much he loves & appreciates them

and now for the lil extra tidbits

he’s got two dogs. a german shepherd named mulder & a pomeranian named scully sfddgfhgfg and he strategically uses his dogs to flirt w ladies when they’re out on a walk LMAO

he’s got a 6 year old daughter named aspen with a woman he is no longer dating ( im prob gna put this as a wc on the main so if u want this....hmu???? ) but they are still v close and spend a lot of time together & he loves aspen more than anything :’)

he’s very much a Dad. dad jokes all the time. endless shitty puns for everyonE

the man loves a turtleneck. he can’t keep his hands off a good ass sweater u know ??

he loves to cook and is v good at it, since he’s been cooking his entire life. he is the self-proclaimed kind of bbq and honestly???? he’s always throwing lil bbq parties & they are a hit :/ u know he be winning contests w his grilling bro

obviously.........a handyman. the house he lives in now, he built himself after tearing down the old on. he built himself a nice big deck and everything so he can have a nice place to host bbqs and everyone will come compliment him on hard work and enjoy his fantastic recipes

he runs his own business building & selling furniture!!!! need a shelf installed??? give him a call. dog chewed up ur table leg??? give him a call. house burned down???? give him a call he’ll build u a new one.

what’s better than this ??????????? guys bein dudes

he rly likes going to the movies. lowkey loves disney but pretends he only cares bc his daughter likes it but……….u know he knows the words to every song

tragically heterosexual ://///////

he loves strong coffee & he loves beer & occasionally he loves a good book & a nice game of chess

did i mention he is such a dad bc………..he is such a dad

someone hold his rough sandpaper ass hands

#gristolintro #ok i yam off to bed now ashdjf #will b lurking mobile for a bit tho !!

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tiptoelightlypastmymind · 5 years

Text

this got rly long and like Philosophical so if ur on mobile and the read more thingy doesnt work then i hope your thumb appreciates some good calisthenics bc thats what i got for you

im heading off to bed here in a moment (cuz i fucking LOVE sleep even tho i never actually ya know SLEEP) but like ive been thinking a lot about like. ignorance is bliss and stuff like that.

mostly cuz like in the last few weeks my family has just fucking waffled the fuck outta how they handle homosexuality. like for a bit every so often they’d say something and id be like damn you guys are like mb close to like realizing Some Ppl Be All Like Gay And Shit and mb realize you cant use gayness or effemininity (that’s not a word but i dont got that word) as a punchline or negative characteristic. but then we had a buncha weeks back to back where it was like bam slam nope.

waking up and realizing this shit and being like Really Fucking Aware Of The Power Of Language And How It Shapes Belief is hard bc you cant just like ignore it like someone making a punch line like that does two things (1) it creates a pattern that reinforces that behavior (2) it ropes everyone else present in to Being In On The Joke and no fuk u i am not in on this joke and i dont have a silence loud enough to convey what a piece of Shit ur being but like this isnt the time or place to call you out

like its one thing to hear my older brother say something bc he has the social awareness of a duck that has been in a coma for the last thirty-seven years but mom saying shit when she should kno better is frustrating. and i cant get a read on my father bc hes just fucking quiet in general so idk how to interpret his silence on it tho i guess im the most hopeful so far for him given some of our complicated history and stuff. then theres the younger brother who is catholic af but at the same time i also kno if i was able to have a conversation with someone else about it in front of him hed also be the person to immediately realize how Shitty it all is bc hes just introspective enough.

there mighta been a point to this post when i first started typing but i think my train o thought got kinda tangled-the-fuck-up back there so i think ill just let it stand as is.

also im gonna lay a marker down in the sand. internet will be back mid-june. not bc ive done the math and know this is possible. but bc things cant keep going on like This. and by This i mean like. everything i suppose? or mb just me. or mostly just me. its like theres a path out of this thats been there forever but i keep swerving and not taking it. not bc i like living like this but bc taking action means risking failure and given a choice btwn uncertainty and certainty its far easier to choose certainty bc i like having control even if that control is essentially the fact that ive relinquished control. and as it turns out, that has major fucking consequences, as in like thought patterns and shit that i didnt see coming until we got right up to the edge of the cliff and by that point it was too l8 not to just thelma and louise this whole thing and just live with it

which is a long assed way of saying im p beaten and down but defs not out of things and im a long ways closer to this side of things than the side i was on when i let it all kinda slip and things got fucked. like at the end of the day failure isnt rly a real option both bc as much as ive seemingly tried to fail the world has strictly informed me that it just isnt rly something thats possible for someone who is me apparently. and if i cant fail then i guess that means ill just have to find a better answer and that answer is probs going to involve being a real person again and taking up physical space instead of just evaporating into a metaphysical concept

k but one last thing since its bugging me that no one might get it (were about to nerd the Fuck Out so bear with me) but you can reduce any letter of the alphabet to shapes specifically the letter i is either just a line with a dot or its a single line the same as the number one. one is a number but its also how we talk about ourselves and others, both oneself and/or one other. or we can get super reductionist and simply call it is/is not, right. oneself IS me. one other self IS NOT me.

alright now you can read the last three poems and mb get it bc tho u wouldnt normally know it my hubris is p fucking off the rails sometimes and poetry is p much the only acceptable way to express that kinda thing

ill be here tomorrow and forever still full of love. goodnight <3

#musing #being open isnt rly like in my wheelhouse anymore but hey why not i guess?

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translightyagami · 6 years

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lawlight 59 you own my heart

59 lawlight (loved ur last prompt was so cute great job!!)

i got two requests for this prompt and huhuhhuhh i didn’t do anything cute w it bc it just didn’t flow well for me?? but i did write something and its like my favorite thing which is phone conversations and ppl being snippy w/ each other. anyway.

59: “ You own my heart. ”

Light came around the corner from the stairs and caught a glimpse of the television. Sayu’s drama was still on but near the end. Some idol he didn’t know the name of held his lover’s hand and looked earnest. A chuckle fell out of Light.

“What are you watching?” He folded his arms over his chest and shook his head. “This stuff is going to rot your brain even more than it is already.”

Sayu looked over her shoulder to glare at Light. Her hands were fists and even her hair seemed balled up, fizzling from excitement.

“Shut up!” On the screen, the characters, a man and a woman, sat in chairs across from each other with placid, almost dream-like expressions. They were dolls, barely acting their way out a paper bag. “I’ve been waiting weeks for these two to get together so you can either be quiet or go back to your room.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Light sat down on the couch next to Sayu and didn’t speak. Instead he scoffed at every line. A low light was the only thing illuminating their living room and the television speakers blared every part of the conversation. Sayu threw her hand over his mouth after the third tsk he let out and Light wrestled it away.

“This is the good part,” she said. “So don’t be a jerk.”

“You’ve captured me in every way,” the man said. “There’s nothing I could do but fall in love with you.”

“I feel the same.” A soft smile held the woman’s face captive. Light rolled his eyes and behind him, Ryuk crowed something unintelligible. There wasn’t any nuance to these performances, nothing that felt staked in reality. Was this what passed for entertainment? He nearly hummed his displeasure but caught sight of Sayu’s hands tight on her knees. The sound shrank.

“No matter where you go I’ll find you.” A deep breath proceeded the man’s every line as though he needed the extra air for the mediocre dialogue. “We’re connected, you and I, by our thoughts and feelings.”

A plinking tune vibrated in Light’s pocket and when he took his phone out, earning another of Sayu’s glares, the number was L’s. What was he thinking calling so late in the evening? Their last meeting had been three hours ago. Maybe he had some evidence he forgot to give Light. Whatever. L didn’t have anything to tell him that Light didn’t already know.

Although, he began to surprise Light more and more. The lengths L would go to in order to trip him up were extensive and interesting. Even during mundane conversations like the kind they had in-between classes were rife with jabs. Whenever they spoke, Light felt the sharp of L’s nails digging into his thoughts, his feelings and their sting shocked him enough to let pieces rip away. He couldn’t let him hold anymore of Light than he already did.

“Hello?” Calculated disinterested lined Light’s voice. Chewing noises smacked over the phone and Sayu hit him again.

“Don’t talk so loud!”

Unable to stifle the impulse, Light stuck out his tongue at her and received a similar response. He pressed the phone closer to his ear and swung his legs up on the couch. Stretched out with legs crossed at the ankle, he listened to L chew for a few more seconds before he spoke.

“Are you just going to eat over the phone all night?”

“No.” L swallowed and sniffed. “What is Light doing right now?”

“Watching some silly thing with my sister,” Light said. “Why? Do you need me to come over?”

“So eager to see me?”

The hair on Light’s arms prickled at L’s amused tone. His teeth gritted but he let out a breathy laugh. Sayu gave him a funny look but said nothing. Something happened on the television and distracted her. Ryuk was quiet as well. Eyes trained on the screen, he played a captivated audience member.

“Very funny, Ryuga.” Light said. “I just don’t see why you’re calling me so late at night. Have you got something to say to me that you didn’t already?”

“Perhaps I’d just like to talk to Light more,” L said. “Does that bother you?”

“Of course not.” A peculiar rumble went through Light’s stomach and he felt both weightless and heavy. This was an obvious attempt to bait him. Any show of frustration would be interpreted as Kira-like aggression and there wasn’t room for anything like that. Yet something in the way L spoke made him feel some kind of way. It was such a way he was reluctant to name. He shifted until he settled deep into the cushions and thought about his next words. “I enjoy talking to you. But I doubt that’s the reason you called.”

“You’re wrong.” L’s voice moved in lazy waves as he kept on. “What show is Light watching?”

“I have no idea,” he said. “It’s my sister’s show.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s bad.” Light rolled his eyes over the television screen where the man and woman started to kiss. Their mouths smashed against each other’s. His lip curled. “I just don’t understand these romantic shows.”

“Perhaps Light has never been in love,” L said. “And that’s why you don’t enjoy romance.”

“How would you know if I’ve ever been in love?” A stab of offense rippled through his voice and a heat rose beneath his collar. Who did L think he was to speak to Light like this? Sayu gave him another look, this one colored with confusion. He barely noticed except to wave a dismissive hand at her.

“Your eyes.” L’s tone was flat but curious. There were his nails under Light’s skin again, pulling for another scrap of him. “They don’t have the look of someone who’s been in love. Light should work on that.”

“Oh?”

“It doesn’t look good to have cold eyes,” L said.

Cold eyes? There was no way Light’s eyes were cold. Already an itch to go to the mirror started in his mind. Another smatter of chewing noises echoed over the phone. That bastard. Eating while he was on the phone? Light could throttle him.

“That’s not very kind of you.”

L scoffed through a full mouth and on screen, the man pulled the woman down to the floor.

“Kindness isn’t my aim,” he said.

“I think I have to go,” Light said. His fingers were freezing and he folded one hand into his armpit to keep it warm. L hummed with a soft, almost imperceptible note of concern.

“I hope I haven’t offended you. I don’t mean to be cruel.”

“No.” His voice was an egg shell–empty and breakable. “You haven’t. Sayu’s show is on and I don’t want to talk over it anymore.”

“Of course. Well, enjoy your show as much as you can. I’ll see Light tomorrow at class.”

“See you then.” Light shut his phone before L could say anything else. The man curled into the woman’s shoulder and spoke into her skin.

“You own my heart,” he said and Sayu swooned. But Light didn’t see what happened and he couldn’t hear it either. All his thoughts held tight to what L said. He let the words run around until their footprints embedded themselves into him. A sickness spread its way through his chest like a spider’s legs. His concentration broke when a hand brushed his foot and he jerked it back, almost hitting Sayu in the thigh.

“Hey.” Her tone was soft. “Who was on the phone?”

“Just a friend,” he said. The line of her mouth went slant and she patted his leg.

“You’re just really worked up,” she said. “Must be some kinda friend, huh?”

“Yeah.” Cold eyes. Cold eyes. Cold eyes. “Yeah, they are.”

#death note #my fic #yeah i don't know either #but i like it better than my other more cutesy attempts #Anonymous

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years

Text

Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think! The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger. I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it. I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe. I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork. I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

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tessaractwasp · 5 years

Note

1-140 question meme

wait you want me to do all of them?? Ok I guess (that actually makes me kinda happy lol)

3 Fears losing people, never getting away from home, and that everyone hates me

3 things I love music, reading, writing

2 turns on intelligence, muscular, socialism

2 turns off misogyny, speech impediments, capitalism

My best friend @queercedricdiggory

Sexual orientation not sure tbh. Maybe pan? Maybe lesbian? Who can say. Not me.

How tall am I 5′ 2 3/4″

What do I miss right now my friend Shannon who doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore

Favourite color purple

Do I have a crush yes

Favourite place nature. there’s a brook in the woods at the bottom of the hill I live on. its magical.

What am I listening to right now my spotify playlist “A Very Specific Mood Brought To You By Probably Non-Lesbian Lesbian Icons” currently Mitski’s “A Horse Named Cold Air”

Shoe size 6.5 usually

Eye color cockroach brown

Hair color brown/black (ft hidden rainbow)

Meaning behind my URL oh god I was like 15 when I made it so tesseract from the first avengers but tessaract bc my name is tessa, and wasp bc she was my favorite marvel character.

Favourite song favorite song????? uuuuuhhhhhhhhhh right now probably Mitski’s “Pink in the Night”

Favourite band pdofjsodifjolikdsjf uhm IDK my top artists rn are Mitski, Hozier and Florence + The Machine

How I feel right now frustrated.

Someone I love @azirahell

My current relationship status single and READY to flaMINGLE

My relationship with my parents hahahahahahahah better than most I guess. But strained af atm

Favourite season SPRING

Tattoos and piercing i have navel and ear piercings

Tattoos and piercing i want WAY more ear piercings, I wanna get that custom “constellation piercing” thing but $$$$ also tattoos for each of my immediate family members (so far a turtle and elephant on opposite ankles, a power symbol on the back of my neck probably, an origami rose on one tricep, a wolf silhouette on the other)

The reasons I joined Tumblr fandom probably? and peer pressure. thx nadia

Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? only when Im actively texting someone when we go to bed

Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? I dont know have you? (Im kidding, I think I have tho)

How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? depends on where Im going. Anywhere from 5 mins to like 1.5 hrs lmao. But on average, probably 20 mins

Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? I haven’t shaved my legs in the past three years

Where am I right now? My living room

Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? LOUD

Do I live with my Mom and Dad? yes

Am I excited for anything? not really atm

Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? if by sex you mean gender then yes

How often do I wear a fake smile? lmao all the fuckin time

If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? wow uuhhhhhhh I dont know! maybe Lana Parrilla lmao idk honestly!

What do I think about most? how much i suck lmfao

Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? I guess behind, but I dont mind being in front

What was the last lie I told? oh god Im taking care of my little siblings i have no idea

Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? depends on the person but usually video chatting

Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? no, yes

Do I believe in magic? not really

Do I believe in luck? depends on the day

What’s the weather like right now? warm. It’s almost 80, but its getting dark out so it feels nice.

What was the last book I’ve read? rn Im in the middle of Scythe by Neal Shusterman (bc hes putting my name in the third book in the series!!)

Do I have any nicknames? Tess, T, T-Cake, Tessticle

Do I spend money or save it? SPEND lmao

Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

Favourite animal? hmmm I guess dog

What was I doing last night at 12 AM? lying on the couch on tumblr

What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? oh boy idk

What is my favorite word? people have favorite words?

My top 5 blogs on tumblr bruh idk I dont pay attention to anything

If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? be fucking decent already

Do I have any relatives in jail? not at the moment that Im aware of

What is my current desktop picture? Thranduil Tauriel and Legolas lol

Had sex? depends on ur definition

Bought condoms? GLOW IN THE DARK

Gotten pregnant? nope

Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no

Had job? yes

Smoked weed? yes

Smoked cigarettes? no

Drank alcohol? yes

Am I a vegetarian/vegan? no

Been overweight? technically I think? But not really

Been underweight? yes

Gotten my heart broken? yes

Been to prom? yes

Been in airplane? well yea but I was 4 so I dont remember it so I dont count it

Learned another language? bruh i tried

Wore make up? yes

Dyed my hair? yes

Had a surgery? yes

Met someone famous? yes

Stalked someone on a social network? who hasnt??

Been fishing? yeah but I dont really remember it

Been rejected by a crush? yes

What do I want for birthday? Idk dude thats so far away

Do I like my handwriting? sometimes

Where do I want to live when older? i have no idea

Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? never snuck out but yeah Ive been caught doing “anything bad”

What I’m really bad at everything lmao. Sports I guess

What my greatest achievments are my writing probably

The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me one time when I was like 14 my mom and I were arguing and she told me it wouldnt be long before I was selling myself on the streets of new york

What I’d do if I won in a lottery ugh pay off my debt and buy a few of the things i want the most

What do I like about myself hairrr

My closest Tumblr friend like tumblr-only? probably leakedinlondon bc shes the only person ive ever talked to on tumblr lmao

Any question you’d like? what

Are you outgoing or shy? yes

What kind of people are you attracted to? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ femme wlw mostly i guess???

Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? no but i wish

Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? my friend Kate who lives in AZ now :(

What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Yeah I just did, nothing yet”

What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Mitski, “Nobody” Florence + The Machine, “Grace” Hozier, “Wasteland, Baby” Mitski, “Pink in the Night” Mitski, “Strawberry Blond” in no particular order

Do you like it when people play with your hair? YESS

Do you think there is life on other planets? yes

Do you like bubble baths? yes but has tiny tub :(

Do you like your neighbors? i dont really know most of them but the ones I do, yeah for the most part

Where would you like to travel? All over the place, but Cuba more than anything

Favorite part of your daily routine? cuddling w my doogggggg

What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? muffin toppp

What do you do when you wake up? try to go back to sleep

Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? yes

Do you ever want to get married? idk maybe

If your hair long enough for a pony tail? lmao yea????

Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yea

What are your favorite stores to shop in? theres this little like toy store but it has so many funny or adult things that I love. Its called Play

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not everyone

Do you smile at strangers? usually

Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? only in my dreams (like literally, I dont want ppl to know what I did in my dreams)

Ever wished you were someone else? always

Favourite makeup brand? dont have one

Last thing you ate? chicken and pasta

Ever won a competition? For what? yeah, a writing competition

Ever been in love? i dont know

Facebook or Twitter? facebook

Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

Are you watching tv right now? no

What colour are your towels? purple

Favourite ice cream flavour? cookies and cream

First person you talked to today? my lil brother Ben

Last person you talked to today? talking to both my lil sibs rn

Name a person you hate? fucking CHRIS

Name a person you love? Rebecca <3 ( @parkour-margaret)

Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? chris always

Do you tan a lot? BURNN

Have any pets? FOUR

Do you type fast? relatively yeah

Do you regret anything from your past? OH yeah

Ever broken someone’s heart? idk

Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YUP

Is cheating ever okay? it really depends on the situation but 98% of the time no

Do you believe in true love? yeah. but not just one. everyone can have more than one

What your zodiac sign? aries

Do you believe in ghosts? this question was already asked? no

Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “‘Never mind, do not weep,’ answered the frog, ‘I can help you, but”

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biobliterator · 7 years

Text

@synthzander made a super cool post answering questions abt her OCs and I got inspired to do it myself too!! I’m doing it for my five current faves. this is taken from @the-moon-dust-writings‘s post here!

-OC’s full name? Nix: Phoenix Eleanor Nova Rex: Bartholomew Alexander Achernar Orion: Orion Vela Io: Io Justine Pleione Ceres: Ceres Altair (Orion and Ceres don’t have middle names bc Orion picked his own name and didn’t want one and Ceres just straightup doesn’t care)

- Where were they born? Nix: Greece Rex: Scotland Orion: uhh I’m not 100% exactly sure yet but somewhere in South Asia Io: idk man Ceres: Rwanda i think!

- What accent and language do they speak in? Nix: kinda a mix between English and Greek accents, speaks English, Greek, and a bit of French Rex: Scottish accent, only speaks English Orion: his accent and first language depend on where exactly he was born so i need to figure that out, but other than that he speaks English, Spanish, and French fluently, and many many other languages less so. Io: Io doesn’t “”speak”” but they can only use English Ceres: his first language is Kinyarwanda, altho he hasn’t had the opportunity to speak it for years. And he’s close to fluent in English!

this got super long so i’m putting it under a readmore from here! (also i accidentally switched ceres’ and io’s positions w/o realising fdkg)

- What flaws do they have? Nix: g od where do i even begin w this question. she’s manipulative and can be cruel. she wants her own way and she wants it now and she’s not afraid to go to great lengths to get it Rex: mm Rex isn’t developed enough to have significant flaws yet, but he has major attachment issues and tends to be lazy Orion: my boy is perfect wym he avoids all his problems and will always take the easy route rather than helping anybody out, also keeps a lot of knowledge of other people that would be better shared w certain others Ceres: Ceres is a difficult one tbh, but he doesn’t have any interest whatsoever in helping anybody who isn’t himself or very close friends, and doesn’t care if he hurts other people Io: Io,, also is difficult? they make things harder for other people but that’s not their fault. yea idk Io is developed enough either

- What are things that they are good at? Nix: she’s very good at social situations and cheering people up! she’s also good at painting, photography, cooking, and is a talented engineer (she smart) Rex: video games his one true love.....he’s also a talented socialiser and good to have around in stressful situations bc he’s calm and level headed, AND he knows how to survive in the wilderness. Orion: music!! he’s a v talented musucian and singer. other than that he’s rly intelligent and can memorise almost anything - which includes the entire high school musical script. also he somehow makes friends super easily without realising how Ceres: his academic strong point is most definitely history. other than that he has a quiet way of being comforting? he notices the people he’s close to and is good at figuring them out without asking. he’s also REALLY good w animals Io: Io is pretty damn brilliant at building robots!! and they’re curious and are good at researching things they find interesting

- What are their pet peeves? Nix: ppl not taking things seriously when they should, rly loud music, ppl who don’t research before talking (basically her pet peeves are everything abt her younger self lmao) Rex: not listening when he’s trying to talk, disrespecting others’ interests, sore losers Orion: talking over him, being the punchline, being unwilling to change little things for him, chewing w ur mouth open Ceres: he only has one!: every single person on the entire earth Io: not even bothering to try and understand their way of communicating, putting salt on things

- What is something they do not respect? Nix: ppl who talk down on her friends Rex: biting straight into the kitkat Orion: ppl who needlessly state their negative opinion Ceres: ppl who are mean to spiders Io: spiders

- Could they survive on their own in a forest? Nix: maybe?? as long as it wasn’t for too long Rex: yea Orion: quite possibly? he might have the knowledge but idk if he could put it into practise Ceres: fairly sure he could Io: no

- Are they social with others? Nix: very!! Rex: yes Orion: a lot of the time! Ceres: no Io: yea

- Do they have good social skills? Nix: yes Rex: yes Orion: ..sorta? Ceres: hell no Io: mm not really

- What is their deepest darkest secret? Nix: she’s not as caring as she tries to make herself out to be Rex: idk he’s a pretty open book Orion: i think he keeps a lot of things secret, but knowing where his sister is and not finding her is prob a big one Ceres: his entire past p much? he doesn’t tell anybody shit Io: i think that they feel guilt over their existence sometimes. they try not to show it bc they don’t want people to worry but they need near constant care and can be difficult to live with.

- Do they have a guilty pleasure? Nix: probably alcohol. she tries not to drink bc she has to be responsible at all times but damn does she wanna get drunk Rex: h onestly i feel like he would be into dolls and things but too embarrassed to share it Orion: eating all the ice cream. all of it Ceres: he rly likes anime... Io: they have secret social media accounts where they shitpost near constantly

- How do they express their feelings? Nix: in violent emotional outbursts or silent crying at midnight Rex: he does his best to hold it in at all times but sometimes he’ll just cry Orion: he wears his heart on his sleeve and has frequent meltdowns Ceres: he Doesn’t Io: very much phsyically. if they’re feeling something, you’ll know

- How do they react when they are proven wrong? Nix: depends. if she likes the person she’ll apologise and move on, if not she’ll just get Angery Rex: he doesn’t argue or shout unless he’s CERTAIN he’s right, so usually he’s in a situation where he can just say “oh yeah thats a good point” Orion: with confusion, mostly. knowing things grounds him, so its disorienting when he’s wrong Ceres: he’ll clench his jaw and walk away Io: [text] wot

- How do they mourn? Nix: she’s the Responsible One™ so she does her best to stay strong, but she’s very likely to lose control and resort to reckless activities Rex: loudly and angrily Orion: he withdraws and sabotages himself Ceres: he withdraws too, even more than usual. he’ll just...sit and stare at the wall Io: they don’t? understand? like when are they coming back? where did they go bring them back??

- When would they back talk someone? Nix: whenever she’s given the opportunity lmao Rex: only if they’re REALLY pissing him off Orion: not very often. probably only when somebody is talking abt his friends bc he can process that quicker Ceres: he wouldn’t. he just wouldn’t respond Io: when ppl aren’t listening to them (or whatever listening is through text)

- Do they gossip? Nix: YES and then feels bad about it later Rex: only if he knows it’s not harmful Orion: nah Ceres: no Io: lmao yes

- Would they ever be able to forgive themselves if they did something horrible? Example - Murder Nix: i think maybe? depends on the circumstances Rex: he cant even forgive himself for WITNESSING a murder when he was a kid :/ Orion: if he can rationalise it, yea Ceres: good question. the answer is i have no clue Io: i think so. it’d have to have been extreme circumstances for it to happen so they’d handle it

- Do they care about themselves or others more? Nix: herself unless it’s her friends (she has many friends) Rex: others Orion: others but he knows he needs to care abt himself more :/ Ceres: himself UNLESS it’s somebody he’s super close to Io: others BUT they’ll put their own needs first

- How would other OCs describe them? Nix: abt Rex - a solid friend. he’s safe and lovable and the one person who doesn’t depend on her abt Orion - so talented? she’s so proud of him and knows he’s gonna go far abt Ceres - after living with him for a while, he’s actually really sweet. you don’t notice him, but he notices you abt Io - the most precious lil bean!! she adores io even if they can be frustrating sometimes Rex: abt Nix - pushes herself way too hard. she needs to learn to relax so she doesn’t snap abt Orion - a good friend who he can have a real deep intelligent conversation with. lots of people underestimate him but rex knows he has a LOT to offer abt Ceres - hoo boy.....hoooooooo boy.......... abt Io - he struggles to understand io but he’s trying. the more he understands the more shocked he is at the kinda shit they text him

Orion: abt Nix - has no idea where he’d be without her, but couldn’t rely on her entirely. he’s thankful she introduced him to, and is part of, a solid support system abt Rex - he honestly loves hanging out w rex. he has so many interesting stories. while orion is more of a thinker, rex is more of a doer, so together they get up to a lot abt Ceres - ceres was the first one of them he met. he rly likes ceres. he’s a good listener. orion would like to learn more about him but he doesn’t want to push abt Io - what he loves abt io is how much they understand each other and can laugh about it. while the others definitely try, they don’t fully understand what it’s like to live as an autistic, but io does.

Ceres: abt Nix - he wants to trust her. he really really want to trust her, but deep down he doesn’t. she needs to fully and truly open up for him to trust her, but for her to do that he has to open up himself, but for him to open up he has to trust her..... abt Rex - complicated emotions. rex needs to learn how to not be taken advantage of abt Orion - persistent, but he’s grateful. without orion he doesn’t know where he’d be, and he really loves to hang out w him, especially as he’s one of the few people that doesn’t ask questions or make things awkward abt Io - he likes doing Quiet Things with io. like playing chess, baking, reading. io isn’t generally a quiet person, so he’s grateful they spend their quiet times with him Io: abt Nix - possibly one of the best people ever? while they adore their parents, without nix there’s a lot of things they wouldn’t have gotten to experience abt Rex - confusing. not the first person they’d go to in a crisis, but not the last either abt Orion - trouble buddy!! they get into trouble together a lot its great abt Ceres - needs to brush up on his chess skills bc they trash him every time but needs to ease up on his monopoly and poker skills bc they want to win ://

- How would your OC describe themselves? Nix: damn bitch you live here?? Rex: constantly just trying to fix his own mistakes Orion: existential crisis with a violin Ceres: reeeallly doesn’t know what he’s doing here Io: um?? the best Obviously ;)

- How would you as the writer describe them? Nix: nix is my eldest, and i probably have the closest relationship with her. she pushes herself too much and it only sends her backwards. she’s in a difficult position bc she has people that rely on her and they need her, but she needs to look after herself too bc she’s only gonna end up hurting the people she cares about, not to mention herself. but honestly? i love her so much. i admire her desire to go out of her way to help people, and to understand people, and i’m so happy she’s found herself a family that love her and she loves back. Rex: my boy has come so far. he’s the youngest of the group, but he’s still over a year old by now and he’s changed so much. he has such a genuine desire to make everybody happy, but like w nix needs to look after himself too bc he’s going to make himself sick. i hope to god someday he finds reason and purpose in his life and that he’s happy. Orion: such a shining light. i remember almost killing him off as soon as i made him and i’m so glad i didn’t. he has a power that draws people to him, and just seeing him smile could brighten any day. he deserves the world. i know things can be difficult for him, and people can be mean and say mean things, but he handles it so well and i am so proud that he’s found his family and he’s going to stick by them no matter what. they’re going to help him rise to the top and allow him to achieve his dreams, and he’s going to keep them with him when he does. Ceres: boyo...sweet boyo........this whole mess wasn’t his fault, no matter how much he believes it was. there’s no way he could have known what would have happened when he ran off w the promise of excitement and adventure. but yknow what it his fault? taking a chance and making a friend and it turning out w him having a family who’ll defend him to their graves. Io: my baby’s been through so much dramatic development recently, and is finally getting the attention they deserve. they’ve had a lot of luck in their life, and they’re starting to realise just how many things could have gone wrong so far, and the next step is realising that they absolutely deserve those things, and that they shouldn’t try and give things back out of obligation, but out of love.

- How well do they know their own limits? Nix: nix..knows her limits, but being a caregiver means she has to push them a lot even when she doesn’t want to. Rex: he doesn’t know his limits at all. he’s constantly finding himself at limit’s end and being unable to get out of it. Orion: he mostly knows his limits? sometimes he chooses to push them, but he’ll fight for his right to stay within them Ceres: oh nah he has no idea, and he doesn’t want to find out either Io: io knows their limits and refuses to have them pushed

that’s it and i just wanna say that if you read this far i admire your tolerance and i adore you

#this took me so so so so so so long to write #literally HOURS #pls read it i love my children #nix #rex #orion #ceres #io

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sundrenched-smilez · 7 years

Note

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch?

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online.

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future?

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it.

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there.

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good.

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay.

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit.

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one.

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying.

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet.

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are.

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls.

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped.

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit.

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

#msg in a bottle #cass charts #idk what i want my ask tag to be

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survivormarmoreal · 5 years

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Episode #8: "The fajitas are truly guiding me" - Matt

OMG i made it to the merge. Im so happy but now let the game begin.

im so sad. dennis was such a king. and to be taken out by nick... like idek what to do with this merge. ppl i want to work with: nathan, maynor, brian, anna?, matt? idek if i wanna work with brian its just i like meeting new ppl NNN i wanna work with sharky too. but like nathan loves nick apparently. like... no ty!!! nicole... keaton? no ty! my preferred boot order is just keaton. nick. nicole. thats it idc!!! i dont wanna work with like og absolem tho bc theyre all tight without me but the other options arent good either EFKJDSAHKJ. i am waiting for redemption island twist pls and ty although my luck jaydne comes back NNn well these are initial thoughts woohoo

PHEWWWWWW I MADE MERGE BITCHES!!!!!! Honestly that tribal was so fucking cracked and all kicked off in 20 mins at the end with nick revealing he had an idol. and YEET i was so close to playing my idol as well. The fajitas are truly guiding me (even tho i am eating them tomorrow for lunch and I am very excited hehehe) Brian, myself and sharky are gonna align (tho not telling about the idol tho) so woooo lets go merge!

I hate my life. a forced self vote? no thanks. UGH TIME TO DIE!

WE FUCKING MERGED! And I got rid of Dennis. Which I do feel slightly bad about it but it was time to make a move. I playing loose this season and I'm going to see how far it takes me. I have alliances with Maynor, Brian, Nathan, Annabelle, Matt, Nick, and sort of Nicole so that puts me in a pretty good spot as long as I don't overplay and show my cards too soon. I've got to walk the line very carefully. And ngl careful is not my strong suit.

Ok now Let's rank my mergemates. 1) Brian- husband. 2) Matt- second husband. 3) Maynor- best man at my double wedding to Matt and Brian. 4) Annabelle- my fave underrated queen. 5) Nathan- I love him but check back in a few rounds ok. 6) Bryce- we barely talked but he loves Chi Chi Devayne so...I love him. 7) Nicole- ...every season needs a purple edit 8) Nick- cool kid but I'm sooo bitter about wanting him gone 3 tribals in a row 9) Keaton- who?

Well, merge is finally here and i get to reunite with Sharky. Which is great because he was my duo from the begining and now i have Keaton as my other duo.i also have Bryce as well. Nathan wants to work with keaton and I so thats good and i believe he’s tight with Annabelle so shell come along as well. Thats already 5 with me is 6. As long as none of them are targeted first vote and others are. Ill be sitting in a good spot. From here the first vote, i wouldnt mind voting out Nicole. Only one to yet to talk to me besides saying hi.

WEELLLLL!!! I merged, ladies (and lads)! I cannot believe it, but I have made it!! I think I know what my strong points are right now in my game and I just have to keep playing on them. I'm a lot stronger socially now and I want that to continue going into the merge. I have allies in every single little aspect of this game, and I want to ensure the people I'm not working with go first. So less than half of these hoes better watch their backs!

Now that I've merged and have freedom with who I want to work with, I'm definitely going to try and solidify my quad-some with Sharky, Nathan, and Annabelle as a final 4 alliance and also make sure that my other final alliances (one with Bryce, who I just met up with, and then one with Matt) also are stronger than ever before.

I usually do like cast run-downs and... idk... I haven't yet in this game, but I guess I will now going into the merge!!

Annabelle - A queent!! I absolutely love her and wish that a trio of Ariana stans (with Marie) could've gone through!! I can't wait to strengthen my bond with her and for us to slay this game together! Bryce - I may have just met Bryce in game, but I've known him for a little bit! We have never really had a full-on conversation, but we have talked in passing and in some League games. I've talked to him for like... 30 minutes so far... and he's already a top person in this game for me. Love him! Keaton - idk him, but he's already trash talked Marie to me... so .... bye ! Matt - I adore him... he's... an angel! I see myself working with him for a long time in this game, and I have to hope he feels the same hehe... Maynor - eh! I like him, but we don't.... click... so if he goes home... he goes home... :S... Nathan - LOVE HIM! He's so funny and so nice and he says we have a final 2, but girl... if we get to final 2 together it's by sheer luck because I shoreeee as hell know he's going hard or going home.... and I'm not playing that same balls to the walls type of game! Nick - LOL OK??? Idols replace social play and gameplay ig!!! Nicole - I just wish she was more active because I'd love to really put all my trust in her, but I don't really ever talk to her! Sharky - ANGEELLLL!!! Das my game hubby... I adore him so much... I really thought I was going to go into this game wanting to fuck him up with a lawn mower, but here I am putting all my eggs into his basket and trusting him completely... I hope I'm making the right decision! I know he's a big threat, but I just lahva him a lot! Ugh..

This challenge is very interesting. Im just hoping that I somehow get enough points to get the high amount. Immunity would be great. Still working out who i could work with and who i would target. I know for sure that im going to be with Keaton and Sharky. Still dont know about the others yet.

I do not want this immunity. There's like weird touchy subjects vibes. If I win it means a lot of people wanted me to get immunity so I'm well liked which will translate to "Threat". I told the jock destroyers to give me negative items. So hopefully if my other allies give me positive scores it will even out to a smooth 0 and I can stay relatively under the radar.

So I went idol hunting and I got closer than I had ever gotten before. I could just tell. So I gave Brian the info and told him where I went wrong. And he didn't find the idol but he DID find a steal a vote advantage! So Brian and I are getting a nice little tool belt around our waists. Now we just need to get all these people to do what we want.

Everyone is being really quiet. But thats okay because this gives Maynor and I a great opportunity to strategize. To my surprise he threw out Nicole's name! Which is great. It might be too soon to go for her because I've been talking Dinah strong for a few rounds now (even though I voted Dennis out). But it's still good to know that she's on his radar. Now the goal is just to set up a F5 alliance that Brian and I can ride to F6. Maynor and I still have The Scream Team alliance and I'm loyal to that. So if I can move forward with Maynor and Brian then I can just fill in the others as we go.

Okay SWIFT UPDATE. Maynor brought up Matt's name and I was basically like "Um...I don't want to do that" and then discovered that he doesn't think Nicole has his back at all. Which would undermine any Dinah strong stuff. And I'm not going to stick my neck out to save her over a vote on my side for a few more rounds. Especially if she might flip anyway. Hmm…

Now I'm getting a chance to talk game with Anna! This night is really picking up. Unfortunately she seems to have some animosity towards Matt. Why does everyone hate Matt? I think he's bloody awesome! Oh well. She also isn't a fan of Nicole or Keaton so I can direct her target that way for a few votes and for now we seem to be on the same page minus the Matt thing.

Sharky and I are still up at midnight. We came up with a tribal vote plan which is awesome. The target tonight is going to be Nicole. I feel like shes a threat and needs to go. Sharky and I created an ideal final 5 which is me, Sharky, Brian, Matt, amd Bryce. My side alliance is Keaton and Nathan. On the outs is Nick, Annabelle, and Nicole. We are saying that Keaton said Nicole’s name and that Nicole said Keaton’s name. But main targetbis Nicole. Hopefully this plan works and Nicole goes tonight.

Things are falling into place baby! So Maynor wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. He thinks he can get Bryce on board. Annabelle also wants Nicole/Keaton/Matt out. I know from The Jock Destroyers Alliance that she (and I) have Nathan's vote. Anna also says she wants to work with Bryce. And Bryce told her that he feels close to Maynor. (I'm realizing Bryce is a HUGE social threat and I'm not going to be able to keep him around for too long but for now he's a number on my side.) Now, both Maynor and Annabelle also love Brian. They both also know I can bring Nick to the table because Nick trusts me. So right now I perfectly situated in the middle of a 7 person voting block. Am I a mastermind?

CLASSIC ANNABELLE. I set up this whole majority situation and told her to choose Keaton or Nicole and we can make it happen. BUT SHE WON'T CHOOSE. I love her but she always does this. She's so about being quiet that she refuses to ever make a move. Last time we played together she said I was a bully and never asked her what she wanted. Now I'm trying to be a better ally and listen to her moves AND SHE WON'T MAKE ANY. So frustrating.

Having Keatons name out was good cuz now he wants to target Nicole because she is the other name thats been thrown out. My alliance of mkn is helping get the votes for Nicole which is great.

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so the names thrown out are keaton or nicole and its looking like nicole is gonna go bc ppl think shes a better player bc she gets far in tumblr games which like i guess is tea but its just sad that meta has a factor :( esp when shes like irrel in this game noah fence KJFADSHKFJAS. and like maynor prob has f2 with keaton.. but idc i guess she ghosts me all the time so w/e. im just hoping next round we can get like someone whos actually a threat out.

I WON IMMUNITY which means I made single digits! I'm so happy with myself... I didn't really do much to deserve it, but I'm so happy I won because it means I can be a little more ballsy this round with throwing out names and whatever!

I'm thinking of voting Keaton out as a sort of revenge for Marie, but Nicole's name is out there, too, and I just really want to make the right move to launch my game into the next round in an even better spot! I feel like the top of the world right now, and I want to keep that high. The immunity challenge showed that even though I think I'm a fucking mess, I'm doing well enough socially.

As for that, I want to quickly add in that I love all my allies so much. Sharky just helped me find a vote steal power which will be so useful for the long run of this game, and I cannot wait to use it to hopefully slay. Nathan and Annabelle are angels and are also really nice for me to bounce ideas off of. Bryce is just amazing to talk to and I really see him in my longterm plan. Matt's another person I see in my longterm plan. Ideally, this is probably my top 6... and I've since grown closer to Nick and we are working together "for the sake of Sharky", but I think he's more-so a side piece for me in this game!

So....I’m pretty certain I’m leaving because nobody wants to talk of anything of substance with me. It’s hard because I know I deserve to go, I haven’t been in a place mentally to give everything I need to, to this game. But that doesn’t mean I want to leave. It’s just hard, Dennis was my number one ally and now that he is gone it’s gonna be hard to reform my trust and alliances with everyone. Oof. It’s alright. Hoping that someone can use me as a vote about now but, don’t think that’s a possibility.

So I am keeping VERY quiet about my disadvantage, as I don't want anyone to know about it and jump on a bandwagon to use it against me! Like no thanks I'll pass. It looks like it'll either be Keaton or Nicole, would much rather it be Anna but she's immune smh. As long as my name ain't mentioned I'll be Gucci I hope. REEEE

Now that everyone is awake it's time to put in some work to execute the plan Anna/Maynor/myself made last night. We need to get everyone on board with voting Nicole. But I also need to make sure Nicole feels safe just in case she has an idol. I'm going to talk to Matt and Nick. As long as they vote Nicole we should be solid. I'm also going to start an alliance chat with the OG Dinah members so that we can talk about strategy and make sure Nicole feels safe with us. Then as long as everyone is telling the truth (cause no one ever lies in Survivor) it'll all be good.

Can i say that Sharky making a fake alliance chat with Nicole when we are planning on voting her out is very cold blooded. Like honesty doing it to try and throw off her scent of the vote is perfect.

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I’m so glad sharky seems to be much more transparent with me. I’m really excited to see how this goes tbh I feel like we’d make a good pair. We be played together before and I thought he would be made at me for like wanting him out in canadienne but yeah I’m excited for merge!

Okay the alliances just keep piling up. It's definitely going to cause an issue later on. But for now it's good. And the newest one, The FB Bois, is one I actually do plan on staying loyal too. I really trust Matt and Brian. I like them both a lot and I want to work with them. Hopefully they feel the same. F4 with Brian, Matt, Maynor is my goal.

We are coming close to tribal. Its nerve wracking cuz it looks like nicole hasnt scrambled so she might have an idol. Im going to see if my side alliance would vote for Matt (keaton and nathan). Just in case there is an idol played. But as far it looks like Nicole is going.

For once my name hasnt been a top priority! its crazy... I really dont know what to do about it but im loving it so much... lets just wait though until I get out in about 30 mins...

Nicole is voted out 6-3-1.

#episode #allmadhere

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