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#its literally just bc my friends are sort of drifting apart from me at lunch. its just that. and it seems so stupid and small to say but i
fleshdyke · 1 year
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#going into this im not even totally sure what im gonna end up talking abt so tw for like everything. sui sh csa etc#i have dreams and things i want to do with my life and i dont want to die but i dont know how to handle emotions like this#so my first response has always just been suicide attempt#its so stupid what im upset about but like. idk. i cant get it out of my brain.#its literally just bc my friends are sort of drifting apart from me at lunch. its just that. and it seems so stupid and small to say but i#feel like ending my entire life over this so idk#like im so fucking scared of being alone at lunch. im so scared of being alone. and i tried talking to them about it and i know they have#good intentions but they said ‘we all have other friends and we aren’t each other’s main friends anymore and that’s okay’#and like. i don’t. i don’t have anyone else to go to#and they basically said it wasn’t their problem. and they didn’t say that verbatim and i’m making them sound so much worse than they are and#i love them all but thats essentially what it felt like to me#and i dont want to bring it up again bc theyve dealt with my shit enough and im mature enough to deal with my own problems#it just. it feels so awful being so fucking alone. i had an actual friend group for a while and my meds were working andi forgot how fucking#bad everything feels. im so paranoid theyre going to drop me and then i don’t know what to do#if they drop me i seriously think i might try to kill myself because i don’t fucking know what to do without them#like it feels like its only a matter of time and i know its not the end of the world but it feels like it. it really fucking feels like it#i feel so inherently unwanted and i know ive said this like a million times over but the only time anyone has ever wanted me was when i was#like 6. and i cant even fucking remember it. like every cis girl is like ‘universal woman experience of being chased by boys you dont want#in elementary school’ and its like. its not universal i would give absolutely anything for that to happen to me bc i know logically that’s#awful and i dont actually want it but god it hurts so fucking much to be unwanted. no one has ever wanted me once. and it scares me that i#want some man to want me so badly he just takes it and i don’t actually want that but it would reassure me that im not broken#and i know its unrealistic to expect to be in a relationship in hs but all of my friends are and it just feels like what the fuck is wrong w#me that no one has ever looked twice other than to bully me. what can i do to change it. will i ever be wanted#everyone i know has someone that loves them unconditionally and not even like romantically like everyone has a best friend at least#but im just so fucking alone. i dont want to be alone forever. i dont know what to do#i dont know how to handle these emotions so i just want to kill myself about it#but i dont actually want to die so i just sit there and cut my arms and hope that someone will ask if i’m okay bc there’s no way i’m#going to volunteer this shit to someone who didnt ask#rambles#vent
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lillian-nator · 3 years
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Everything below was made by Me, Eye, and Ethan over the course of like 3 days
Thank you (with additions from sleepy my beloved)
Like
Okay
So
Wilbur isn’t the oldest
Techno is
But it’s a war run empire, they take pride in their troops and armies and triumphs
The soldiers come first
So Techno is the commander in chief , the general
Wilbur, second born
Is heir to the throne
To the diplomatic side of the empire
and Tommy Gets shit
He doesn’t even understand why Phil had another kid
Of course there is the situation where Techno or Wilbur dies, or one of them steps down, but it won’t happen
Was he really born to be the understudy
he was born as a backup
Tommy was an accident but they’re not gonna let the public know that
like he's the Zuko
Phil doesn't really pay attention to him so his mother picks up the slack
Wilbur is 21
Techno’s 23
Tommy’s 17
However I have a really good idea for prince Tommy, just like what if he doesn’t like the way that people treat him? Like he doesn’t want all these yes men he wants to be he wants to be told now, he want somebody to tell him he that’s against the rules he just wants him like structure he just want someone to hate him he want someone to not like him and say no and tell him that he’s stupid which is why he does all of the stupid shit that he does
Ever since he was like 4
Everyone has said yes
He wants to defy them
He wants to just do something to make someone say no
That and he lowkey
He wants ~~Phil~~ Wilbur to pay attention to him
Is a Little Shit who causes so many problems on purpose to try and find someone who will push back against him
He wants someone to give him structure and discipline but overall he just wants his family’s attention
He’s broken shit, thrown temper tantrums, he’s started fights and he’ll he’s even snuck out and stole things
He’s never been stopped
People consider him snobby and spoiled
He's a brat
He gets everything he wants, but he doesn’t really want it, he just asks to see if they’ll tell him no
Tubbo = Stable Boy
Ranboo = Prince of another country (probably the americas)
Ranboo could definitely fit the role of an overseas royal prince who Tommy sees as a regal, spoiled, uppity little shit. Like Tubbo, who Tommy sneaks everywhere, has met Ranboo and likes him. Tommy can't possibly see why, he's unbearable.
Bench Trio = Best freinds
I think that Tommy and his brothers were always very very close
they just have jobs and shit
They took over Phil's shit
they probably drift apart as they get older, Wilbur and techno have duties and Tommy starts his quest for attention, they grow apart from their little brother without realizing it
Tommy and his mother (kristin) are always and have continued to be close
she definitely chides him, and tells him quietly to not do things for all of his "misbehaviors"
but there is only so much that she can do, because she has the duty to not make a scene
that and she's not who he's looking for attention from
You may be asking "How is crime recognized, identified, discussed, and atoned for?" more specifically, "Is it a 'you stole my bread so without asking anyone I'm cutting your hand off' or is it the US court system" ~~You may also be Ethan~~
The answer is:
like the UKs
But more like
Okay so the Supreme Judicial system, but Phil (and then Wilbur) has teh final say
Court system, but with Phil overseeing everything
instead of a judge
HOWEVER, that's in the national level
in smaller villages, its more of the cut your hand off system
because the judicial system isn't regulated
So bonus questions:
Punishments and the identification of whether a crime counts as a crime?
soldiers can call crimes out, and citizens can file reports
Phil's not really shit, he just doesn't show Tommy any attention because he's busy with the other two
Just honestly doesn't even care about most shit Tommy does
Like, doesn't pay attention to it until it affects him, he's busy running a country and training the boys to running a country
I don’t think they (the brothers) realize how badly everything is affecting Tommy
The only one who knows anything about the full extent would be his mom, and she’s in a similar boat to Tommy
Phil doenst really see her much either
Not like she could “Make a Scene” trying to get Phil to pay attention to his youngest, to actually love his child, he’s barely around
Kristin and Phil spend time together at night, but during the day everything is for the cameras
its like the UK royals, how they do shit just for the people
And Phil doenst want to hear about the kids at night, he wants to spend time with his wife
Tommy has stolen a car and will do it again
Just fucking hopped in and took a joyride
With Absolutely No Repercussions
Do you think Phil ever tries to hire like, a nanny or something? In the aftermath of the Car Incident? Yes, and it never worked
Tommy, like 15 at the time, pissed as hell as a random ass woman tries to tell him to go to bed at 8:30 pm
Tommy wants somebody to tell him no but not somebody hired to tell him no mannn
Tommy goes to like parties - like ragers
he has a network of really famous friends like young actors and shit
dude is a party animal, underage drinking, rumors of drugs, he’s the PR Teams worst nightmare, but they’re not going to say anything
The press makes up SO MUCH SHIT
The press once said that he had done cocaine when it was really one of his friends
Tommy adopts two dogs (hello Betty and Walter) without asking either of his parents
Betty is short for Elizabeth
He brings them in off the street
Literal abandoned street dogs and he goes, mine now
He like, walks down the street with sunglasses on, and just doesn't look at anyone as he walks the dogs, who have like black nice leather leashes
The paparazzi always finds him walking the dogs
like a modern celebrity
Mans can and will call the paparazzi on himself - because he is a drama queen ETHAN Tommy voice "hello pa pa. I have hired two new staff, pa pa." "Huh?" "they have found work in this palace as emotional support animals, pa pa." "....ok." tommy voice "he didn't even blink, elizabeth the fourteenth" END OF ETHAN MAKING FUN OF THE BRITISH
By the way just to clear things up with you all, Tommy addresses Phil as "Father"
most of the paparazzi's pictures of Tommy are him flipping the camera off
He poses for them
just sees a camera and fucking sticks his tongue out and flips them off
He’s wearing some atrocious outfit while walking his dogs and he just has a full on fashion photshoot of poses for them
If his dad won’t give him attention at least they will
Tommy befriends some of the staff
he hates a lot of the butlers tbh
thinks they're stuck up
but likes to gossip with the maids, and sit in the kitchen as the chefs cook lunch "Heyyyy, chef!" "Your highness, what is it, are you hungry?" "Can't a man just talk to his chef? Befriend his castle staff?" "Ah."
that and the kitchen gives betty and walter treats
Top ten Prince Thomas microaggressions
Number One: he calls Phil "your highness"
For context, kings are referred to as Your Majesty
He calls Wilbur Your Majesty
It was a joke when they were younger, a habit from then on, but now it’s to spite Phil
Tommy spends an ridiculous amount of money on clothes all at once, purely to see if Phil would yell at him for using the family debit card for it
He never wears the clothes
He doesn’t particularly like any of them anyways
Instead he donate them all anonymously
Tommy may be a brat but he isn’t wasteful
By the time Tommy’s 12 he’s started acting up, and it escalates slowly until he hits 15 where things just start snowballing and he gets worse and worse
he's definitely nicknamed by the press as some sort of party animal or fratboy
a spoiled brat
He’s 16, and he knows his place in the family, he is forgotten and glossed over, but he won’t be ignored, not if he can help it
The Public gives him the attention he wishes his father would give him, he walks his dogs with the paparazzi tailing after him, just hoping that maybe one scandal or one horrible picture will eventually be enough to make his dad actually See him
he'll tell the paparazzi what they want to hear
and give every magazine a story to tell
they notice him
he just wants somebody to tell him no, somebody tell this boy no without being paid to please
Tommy probably has like, pierced his ears or smth. Gotten tattoos.
he has holes in his face yes.
he pierced his ears and his nose
He has a tattoo on the inside of his finger that matches with Tubbo and Ranboo
Maybe the picture of him plastered from last weekend will make his dad reprimand him
Maybe the weed found in his backseat will get his Dad to ground him
Maybe the bottle of fucking pills he was “holding for a friend” but got caught with Will get some sort of reaction
and its not like he's only doing it for attention
he starts it for attention, but he loves it he does
he has fun, he loves his friends, he likes the parties and the air
but, he also loves the attention, he's not gonna lie
Tommy who took adderall at a party once but it didn’t do anything for him, he seemed to function a little better actually
Tommy who knows Techno has adhd and takes adderall for it, Tommy who puts two and two together Bc he’s not fucking dumb
Tommy realizing his dad never cared to even get him diagnosed or treated
and Techno does notice, he does figure it out, but he does either a "hey..." or a "m8 I'll just get you your own if its helpin you focus" and tommy is furious
Tommy's life here is just
'trying to be yelled at HARD MODE'
Just wants to be screamed at, lowkey
I think, Wilbur avoids the tabloids
And the press
And the news
However, his advisors often read him the shit about Tommy - or anything about him
But they never see the pictures
They don’t see the picture of Tommy drunk on a strangers balcony
They don't see how bad it is
Tommy however? LOVES reading what the press has to say about him
Phil sees it however,
And he’s so disappointed
He gives Tommy so many talks but it never works
Because it doesn’t get him to love Tommy, to care about what Tommy does
Not like their mother
And he never makes a scene, not in the way Tommy wants to
It's all about "YOUR RUINING OUR IMAGE"
not: "YOUR RUINING YOUR LIFE"
He never asks if Tommy is ok
He never asks if he’s safe
Tommy's mum however, SO MANY AWKWARD "STAY SAFE" TALKS
He doesn't just fucking jump off shit because of her, he's slightly less reckless so that he can come home alive to her
I just think that Wilbur, no matter how busy, would find time to concerned yell at his baby brother if he were to find out about the pills
Weed and alcohol? Not great but ok.
Pills though?? He is full blown concerned Wilbro there
His brothers care. Their father is busy. He's a jerk sometimes too.
Wilbur does put out the fire a bit
He’s glad Wilbur had his best interest in mind
But man
The news headlines
They do him dirty
Shit like “Prince Tommy Caught Doing Cocaine at Frat Party” really fuck him over
They really just try their best to make him look like shit 95% of the time
Tommy loves it, just a little
Bad press is still press
He laughs at the headline Bc he knows he wasn’t doing cocaine, but Phil doesn’t, wilbur and techno don’t know that
It’s a tense week after that headline is released
His mom doesn’t even know if Tommy would have actually done cocaine
They just don’t know
Kristin asks him
She’s the only one who believes him
I think Wilbur wants to believe him, Techno too
But it’s hard to, especially when you’re not even sure you know your own brother anymore
Wilbur says something along the lines of being disappointed in Tommy, if he thought Tommy was trying to be better
Tommy scoffs and says he is trying, but that it’s real rich of Wilbur to be or entering to care now
This isn’t even the worse headline
One time a blonde kid got picked up from the same party Tommy was at on a stretcher, he had had an allergic reaction
Some shitty journalist saw and automatically assumed it was Tommy
They ran with the story that the prince had fucking overdosed for at least a week
The things they say are close to the truth but not quite
The PR Team tries their best to help but
They don’t even know what’s true or not
Tommy goes on a bender for a week, and walks into their office with coffee and pastries to apologize
They all know that presents mean a rough week of damage control
But Tommy imports them these Bomb ass donuts so
Fair trade really
Also heaven forbid tommy gets seen with a girl
It’s the worst shit
Tommy gets caught, drunk off his ass, pushing a couch out a window
(To be fair the people were moving soon anyways, they didn’t need the couch, it was a going away party)
And the next morning, recalling what he did
He orders up those pastries and calls the coffee place
Swings by to pick up the coffee and picks up the pastries all within the next two hours and delivers them on the third with an apology note
It’s fucking DAMAGE control
Thinking about Tubbo and Ranboo being Tommy’s DDs when they can
They are
When Tommy’s handler isn’t around
Them doing wild shit together but not Wild Shit
Tommy teaches them how to do burnouts and donuts in a fucking lambos in an empty mall parking lot
Ranboo goes everywhere incognito, Tommy practically flaunts his rank, Tubbo is considered a nobody and doesn't have to do anything but show up in casual clothes. He has a uniform for stablework.
Ranboo's parents are approving of his friendship with the fledging prince, as they hope he can wrangle Tommy to regality and he's building positive relations between the two kingdoms.
Phil is disapproving, worried Tommy will taint Ranboo and his rep and cause a tense air between the two kingdoms. Tommy loves Phil's worry, he practically bathes in it, it's the attention he so craves.
Tommy definitely will hold Tubbo's hand when he walks with him, because the headlines all scream Tommy is the gay?? and while he's very incredibly straight, he finds this hysterical.
Ranboo isn't always in Tommy's kingdom and rather spends most of his time at home. He might be second to heir or the crown prince himself, but he does have to spend time in his own country. Tommy face calls him a lot and he and Tubbo are ecstatic when he announces he's going to visit
I imagine he's second to the throne because that means he can focus on building relations instead of training to be king.
Older sibling Fundy, gets chronic illness, and Ranboo has to take over the throne for a bit
One of Tommy's worst stunts was hitching a ride to the Americas/Ranboo's kingdom without telling anyone.
Whether by boat or plane, he was gonna go visit his young king friend no matter what.
I say "young king" but he's still a prince. Just filling in for fundy
But all eyes turn to Ranboo and Ranboo is stumbling with attention he'd never known. Tommy has to help, doesn't he?
He expects such a punishment for stowing away to visit, but the headlines are... positive. Prince Tommy's friendship with Princr Ranboo becomes.... legendary, practically. Tubbo is always excluded from the news, even when he comes with.
Never too fantastical for classism
But no, the headlines see Tommy's visit not as the young, rebellious prince stowing away, but as a young boy risking his skin to visit his stressed friend.
Tommy is appalled.
And Tommy just groans and shows him the phone
And Ranboo laughs and goes
“There there Tommy, I’m sure dragging me to a frat party will be enough to ruin the good press.”
“Maybe get a dui, you’ll have diplomatic immunity so no jail time?”
“Boo, I wouldn’t get jail time even if I wasn’t em-mune, I am simply too poggers.”
“Sure man, let’s go with that.”
Tommy’s like “maybe I need to actually start doing hard drugs”
Ranboos just like “no -“ just “Please god no, your brothers will kill both of us.”
The Boo is terrified of Techno and Wilbur
Not as royals though, simply as Tommy’s older brothers
Like he knows about Tommy’s issues with validation and feeling unloved, he knows his Brothers are often very busy
But he also sees the way they look at Tommy, and the way they look when people talk bad about Tommy
He knows if something were to happen and he was to cause harm to Tommy or cause Tommy to cause harm to himself
It probably wouldn’t end well for him
Wilbur and techno try as hard as they can
But they’re SO busy
That they can’t do much especially when Tommy’s so persistent on doing his shit
Tubbo is great with the horses he tends to, and Tommy adores them. Ranboo is an excellent, regal rider and Tommy and Tubbo are more rough and ballsy, so races are fair and fastpaced.
Ranboo once got bucked by a royal stallion and Tommy and Tubbo never let him live it down.
I imagine Tubbo lives on the property, as some servants do. He either doesn't have a family, has a bad one, or his family doesn't live close to the palace.
So Tommy 10/10 sneaks to the servants' quarters and he and Tubbo sneak out to ride the horses.
I feel like Wilbur makes more of an effort after the pills and cocaine incident, he tries to ask Tommy about the headlines
Purples is Tommy’s friend
Rich family, old money
Throws a lot of the parties Tommy goes to
Purpled and punz :handshake: Tommy
Frat Boys
I think you guys are underestimating the time that Tommy spends at the castle
Like he still has school, and usually 3 days out of the week he follows around his brothers like an endearing little shit
But those 4 days where he’s gone (which includes weekends) plus nights, he’s doing shit
Also, yiu know Pongo right
101 Dalmatians
That’s how Tommy walks Betty and Walter
They are like standing completely proper and walks straight
ah yes, the royal bitches and also betty and walter are there too
the paparazzi taking pictures of Tommy and the dogs
and Tommy turns, taking his sunglasses off, and smiles big and wide "They have names you know? You should stop callin' them 'the royal dogs'."
One of the guys, he's familiar with the prince turns on his camera and asks "what're their names Prince Tommy?"
"Betty and Walter. Give them some respect."
Tommy visits Ranboo sometimes. Ranboo was looking for him one day and just found him standing in a long hall, staring at a portrait.
It's Ranboo, just barely younger, hands folded behind his back, the perfect picture of regality.
Tommy is staring at it because he knows that at home, there is a portrait of Wilbur looking like that, and one of Techno, and one of Phil and Kristen, and one of himself.
But somehow this image of Ranboo is.. haunting
Not because it doesn't match with the Ranboo he knows, but because it does.
It haunts him because he can stare at his portrait for hours and never see himself, but this is so plainly Ranboo that it's chilling.
Ranboo stands beside him, hands folded behind his back as they always are when he is in nice clothes and his eyes are visible. Tommy glances over and Ranboo is facing him, but staring up at the picture. It's still him.
The clothes are different and his hair is longer now, but Tommy can't tell the difference past that.
He knows that Ranboo is what his family wants him to be
He knows that Ranboo is him if he hadn't strayed, the same past
Ranboo knows exactly what’s going through his head right now
And he knows exactly what he needs too
They get fucking piss ass drunk in Ranboo’s room order takeout and FaceTime Tubbo
They can party tomorrow, Tommy doesn’t need to be in public right now
ANywyas
Tommy and his mother have a wonderful relationship
she teaches him literacy and history, they have a tutor teach him maths
they eat breakfast together every morning
the whole family does
but his mum tries to eat lunch with him at least 3 times a week
he goes out for lunch the days he doesn't eat with his brothers or mom, out to some resturant, sometimes, they trash it or party, sometimes he just brings Tubbo, no big group, and they just chill
With Ranboo in line for kingship (the way royalty works is that if the ruler dies, it will always go to the next in line of blood, never by marriage. Even if every heir was dead, it would still not go to the ruler consort but instead to a family member of the late ruler), rep is so much more important
he can't really be seen with Tommy sometimes
not on the bad weeks
not when Tommy just destroyed a bnb or set off fireworks with his friends, or was caught throwing chairs into his friend's pool
Tommy likes sport cars
big car guys
He has an exorbitant amount of fancy cars
its truly like
disgusting
how many cars he owns
Wilbur makes fun of it Bc the kid is just now legally old to drive
But Wilbur has so many expensive instruments
Some of which he doesn’t even know how to play yet
to be fair
Wilbur doesnt go breaking his instraments
Techno, techno has swords, which makes sense Bc he’s a general
But the amount swords he has just hanging on his wall
Never meant to be used
It’s so many
I feel like Tommy has a few cars that he doesn’t even let get scratched tho much
His babies
he has his expensive cars that he wrecks
and then his expensive cars that he treats like gold
They’re named
Clementine is this horrendous orange car that he absolutely loves
Its a bright orange ferrari
(He loves it Bc it was a gift from Phil, one of the first cars in his collection)
(Tommy doesn’t know that the idea was his mother’s, his father didn’t know what to get him)
all of his cars have padding in the back for his dogs
Tommy hates purse dogs, the girls with them are always fake and horrible
but he wishes his dogs were that small
Easy to transport
but they got all gangly limbs like him
and stand up to his hip
Henry is his sleek black classic mustang convertable
its what he drives when he doesn't want to be followed by the papp
It’s what he drives when he takes The BT to lunch
its not that the paparazzi doesn't know its him
they know
but he's not in one of his bright fucking obscene cars
The press and Tommy have a weird sort of understanding
He creates their headlines and they let him have moments to himself
If someone breaches that
They risk getting blacklisted
that car was what he drove to his grandmother's funeral in
im not naming his grandmother, but all royals live like forever
Clementine barely sees the road I think
She’s kept in top condition
By Tommy’s own hands
But she probably doesn’t get driven to the parties
Or the brunches
Or the clubs
She's used pretty much exclusively for black tie events
Tubbo is his driver for those Bc he trusts no one else with the car
And he has to exit her before she’s parked
So Tubbo valets and then meets him inside
It’s also how Tubbo gets into the black tie events
so its modern right
so its like thousand-dollar suits instead of capes
so, Tommy just refuses to wear blazers and suit jackets
he always wears his button-ups rolled to his elbows
Maybe, maybe you’ll get him in a vest
But most of the time it’s a button up, rolled up sleeves, and the tie is most likely incorrect or untied
The only reason it’s correct half the time, is because Wilbur makes him let him tie it
Tommy won't wear the jacket because he prefers to roll his sleeves up - he's able to do anything, party or just like rough housing with his brothers, or helping out the staff
Wilbur won't wear a tie, or a button up most days, opting for a high-end sweater and loads of jewelry; its just much more his style.
Techno won't wear a vest because it restricts the places he can hid weapons, and he almost never keeps his tie tied.
Tommy trying to walk past Wilbur to leave with and untied tie
“Wait! You know you can’t leave like that, come here.”
Tommy’s groans and slumps over but walks over to Wil anyways
“I’m just gonna untie it halfway through the party, you know i will.”
“Well, I’m not letting my little brother walk a red carpet with an untied tie, you know I won’t”
The second half said in a mocking tone of voice, very clearly mimicking Tommy’s whining
It’s a soft moment, they stand there together, brothers
And as Wilbur’s pat the finished tie, they make eye contact and both of them have undeniably fond looks on their faces, damn they’re brothers n shit
“Thanks Wil.”
It’s quiet, it’s soft, it’s Tommy
“Of course.”
Just as soft, just as quiet, wholly Wilbur
Wilbur clears his throat breaking the soft atmosphere of the room
“Now go, you gremlin. Don’t be late”
Wilbur ruffles Tommy’s hair, careful not to mess it up too much
Tommy rolls his eyes And quickly heads for the door “Bye Wil! Love you! Don’t wait up!” Wilbur quickly yells after him
“Love you too! Don’t do anything stupid!”
“Oh Wil you know I can’t promise that!” Wilbur just rolls his eyes and returns to his book
Yeah Tommy stays away from tobacco I think
Just weed
and I wouldn't be surprised if like hits peoples vapes sometimes, but doesn't smoke cigs
for sure, its stressful
Wilbur smokes cigarettes though
and he can't act out like Tommy can
and Phil loves him..
Techno and Wilbur watching Tommy rebel in the ways they never got to
They feel kinda sad, that they never got to be kids like that, sad that Tommy feels like he has to act out for attention
he gets to do shit
like he gets to be a real teen
the whole, dumb rich 17 year old experience
like yachts, and expensive hotel rooms, and sport cars
And sure they probably wouldn’t have been going to frat parties or crashing brunch places, but they see him with BT
See him have actual friends
And they’re happy for him
But it hurts a bit
And Tommy's hurting too
It's a lot
but its like
even if Phil wasn't shit
its a lot of attention
like everyone is watching them at all times
Techno and Wilbur have to stay refined in the eyes of the press
Tommy gets to put on a show for them
Yeah yeah
Do you know how much a drunk picture of Prince Tommy is worth?
Too much
Some random guy on his first paparazzi job, gets a pic of Tommy, shirt mostly unbuttoned, tie tied around his head, drinking out of a beer bottle, and flipping off the camera while stumbling out of the most expensive hotel in the UK
The guy never has to work again
Purpled son of some billionaire, and Ranboo a literal prince is with him
They are both laughing at him
Tommy swung on a chandelier that night
A picture of that ends up online, some socialites Twitter
The amount of people in her dms for that picture?
Ludicrous
Like just the random pictures from Snapchat stories
Magazines pay thousands
Yeah the amount of double takes people have done going through their friends Snapchat stories like
Just tapping through
“WAIT WAS THAT PRINCE THOMAS????”
So, Dessert Drinks
It’s alcoholic beverages that have like chocolate or gram crackers or maybe candy in them
That are meant to taste like a dessert
So there’s chocolate cake margaritas, or like s’mores drinks
They’re Tommy’s favorite things in the world
Everyone thinks that he’d like the like strong, burning, whiskey esk stuff
But no
He wants the sweetest thing you got
Like he’ll drink straught vodka, but not if he doesn’t have too y’know?
He also like wine strangely enough
The like really expensive wine
Bc it reminds him of Wil
They have it down in the cellar
Techno is the whiskey dude
Or like 1942
Which is just a really bougie tequila
He just likes the shit that burns
Tubbo will drink literally anything
He’ll eat anything too
It definitely comes from the spot that he didn’t have that many choices like Tommy, but he genuinely just likes anything
Which is why Tommy really likes to treat him out to fancy fucking restaurants
One of Tommy’s favorite past times is spoiling his loved one
Fucking loves giving presents n shit
It's his love language
Ranboo doesn’t pay for anything when he’s visiting
Tommy insists on paying
Tommy has millions from the throne, he will use it
Plus he uses his daddy’s card so like, Phil can afford to spend the money
Oh he has one of those black cards doesn’t he
And by he I mean Phil
But you know, Daddy’s card
Black amex all the way
Boujie motherfuckers
Tommy's drunk like persona is different depending on the environment
When its Wilbur and Techno having to deal with Drunk Tommy
He’s like an excitable puppy, he would switch from rowdy to sappy real quick for his brothers
So they’re trying to get a drunk Tommy to bed but Tommy’s 100% clinging to them
Just full of affection
Techno tries to leave to go study and drunk Tommy just looks so fucking sad
Kicked puppy
He’s very much turning on the little brother charm, full scale pouting, whining, nicknames and all
making grabby hands, sitting on thr ground, fluffed up hair, shirt all wrinkled
"Fucking - fine. What are you gonna do without me, hm?"
He’s a god damned puppy and it’s hard to believe this is the same kid who got in a bar fight last week
he hangs off the chandeliers of boogie hotels
he also trashes his friend's rentals
on the other hand, he hugs his brothers
and steals Wilbur's crown
when he wears Will's crown it goes over his eyes
Still does after all these years
He’s grown but Wils head is simply too big
Tommy has his own crown of course
he just doesn't wear it as often as Wilbru does
Wilbur wears his all of the time
Tommy wears his when
A. he's drunk and with friends
B. at formal or royal events
he likes wearing it when he's partying
still thinking about drunk Tommy and his brothers having to deal with him
He makes techno give him a piggy back ride
He can walk fine, he just wants a piggy back ride man
Can you blame him?
They all really miss being little
They miss being able to be kids n shit
when their mother took care of them
and their father did all the king shit
And when Techno would give Tommy piggyback rides in the garden
When Wilbur had all the time in the world to learn how to play guitar
Even if it comes from Tommy getting drunk off his ass they’re glad they can still find the childish joy that they once had y’know?
Techno gives Tommy a piggy back ride to his room, and Tommy steals Wilbur’s crown and they talk and it’s nice
And as everything winds down Wilbur plays his guitar
And it’s so similar to when they were younger man
...
but then,,, Wilbur gets called down for an emergency meeting
and Techno has to make sure the guards are doing their rounds
and Tommy's left all alone in The Prince's Chambers
and people wonder why Tommy likes partying
fills the time, doesn't it?
He wakes up cold and alone and hungover
And he calls Tubbo and they just fucking day drink man
It’s a bad two days
Yeha but basically after this night he and Tubbo get fucking drunk as hell and they don’t come back to the castle for two days
And Tommy is barely sober during those two days
After those type of days happen Tommy always goes completely straightedge for a week
He doenst need to develop an addiction y’know?
Plus the chaos doesn’t have to happen drunk
He’s pretty irrational sober anywyas
half of the parties he's at he's not even drunk
sometimes he'll get high
but he just likes the adrenaline
and just hanging and being fucking assholes with his mates
POV you are an emotionally wrecked prince who is hanging onto this present as proof that your dad knows who you are at least in the slightest and you find out it’s not actually a gift from him but something your mother told him to get you
He didn’t even think twice just called the dealership and asked for the car, didn’t even know which one it was
mmmmm Tommy wrecks Clem that night
It’s not a good night for anyone
Got drunk as hell man
No dd
Car crash
I don’t think Clem is totaled
And Tommy is ok
But she’s scratched and dented and it’s just a representation of how Tommy feels
Something about Clementine being symbolic of hope and the idea that his father knew him
And with that crashing down
Clementine was bound to crash too
Tommy gets out with some bruises and Clementine can be fixed
But it happens on a public street so it’s everywhere
Tommy wrecks Clem
Then fucking goes on a bender
just destroys shit
parties so he doesn't think about it
and then he fucking crashes
Wilbur and Techno and Kristin all know what the car meant to him, what it symbolized to him
So when there’s a headline and a picture of Tommy staring at a wrecked Clem, they don’t know how to feel
maybe he mentioned something about upgrading Clem to Phil, or offhandedly at family dinner
And Phil asks something like “Right and when did you get this one?” Very rudely y’know
And Tommy’s like, it’s the one you got me for my birthday last year, and Phil just says something about how he has to be more specific because he doesn’t even know which one that is
And Tommy feels everything crumble around him and he just tensely says, “never mind...” and goes back to his food
The other three watch the whole exchange like, “fuuuuuuuuuck”
And then as soon as dinners over Tommy’s out the door man
He’s gone
he doesn't take the dogs, which means he's causing damage
He doenst even take Tubbo
they can hear the handler hand Tommy the keys
Tubbo comes to Wil to ask if he knew where Tommy was and that’s when they realize Tommy’s going out to cause real damage
And Tommy’s phone is turned off
They can’t contact him
Tommy gets handcuffed
he won't get arrested, but he'll get brought back in a police car
he fucking like crashed into a poll on purpose
like it was less on purpose and more like he definitely wasn’t not trying to hit something
And then they fucking breathalyzer him and he’s drunk as balls
Straight vodka type night
there's a bottle in the cupholder
He gets out when he wrecks and you just see him dead eyed staring at the scratches on her hood
The dent in her door
The cracks in the windshield
And he just takes a swig of the bottle
He lets the police take the bottle and handcuff him, taking him back to the palace
Clem is towed back too
He doenst care man
this is bigger than party to distract Bc it’s all he’s thinking about even drunk n shit
So I feel like he’s absolutely crushed
he spends like a week or two in a depressive episode won't leave his room, won't talk to his dad
and then he asks his mom "why didn't you tell me?"
and she just purses her lips and and shakes her head
and he's out
he needs to leave
he doesn't need her pity
and he just goes to Purp's and parties
because he just wants to have fun for one night before he learns that everything is a lie
His brothers are there as much as he lets them be
Tubbo too
Ranboo would try to make it over after seeing the headlines
he gets on a jet
and goes as soon as he sees the news
cause Clem was Tommy's baby
He loved that fucking car man
And then
Boom
One dinner is all it took to ruin everything
Phil's just left like "what'd I do?"
Techno is straight faced
Wilbur rolls his eyes at Phil
And Kristin just looks stressed
She’s still staring the the door Tommy all but ran out of
none of them finish dinner, Kristin waves the butlers over to clear the plates
They don’t, and Phil is just so confused and frustrated and he doesn’t know what happened
Top 10 Prince Tommy Headlines: 10. Mourning or Disrespectful: Prince Thomas caught smoking outside grandmother's funeral 9. New Connections? Prince Thomas and Prince Ranboo seen outside Palace walking Royal Dogs 8. Protective Older Brother; Crown Prince William shielding Prince Thomas from cameras while walking down London streets 7. When Will He Stop? Prince Thomas continues his week-long bender 6. Another Frat Party: Prince Thomas found stumbling drunk after rowdy night at The Ritz London 5. Boy Crazy? Prince Thomas and Mystery Boy seen dancing at Crown Prince William's Birthday Ball 4. Is Prince Thomas's Rampage Over? The Prince seen hungover, nursing a coffee at London Branch Costa Coffee 3. Time to stop; Prince Thomas caught doing cocaine at socialites party 2. A good friend - Prince Thomas flew to the United States to help Prince Ranboo with new responsibilities
1. When is enough, enough? Prince Thomas crashes after driving drunk, arrested.
10 Tommy doesn’t smoke cigs so mans was just getting high at his grandmas funeral
he was real close with his granny, it was a sad day
It was because his father said something like “oh, I didn’t know you were coming Tommy”
It was his fucking grandmother Phil
Tommy just puts his sun glasses on, and sits as far away as he can
Number 5, the boy is Tubbo, Tubbo thinks it’s fucking hilarious, Tommy is pissed
Some of those headlines seem like they’re from the car month
Obviously number one is
But then the bender headline
Then the coffee one
And then the Wilbur one
They seem like a series of events
big month for the press
Tommys hungover and he calls Wil asking for him to pick him up
And Wilbur drops everything Bc he’s just glad Tommy’s coming back home
wilbur fucking glares at the cameras
Tommy's used to it
And then the press tries to mob them and Wilbur Almost breaks decorum
Like almost fucking yells at someone who gets too close
and Wilbur never does that
he's so in-line
he never breaks the rules
but goddamn if they take one step closer -
He’s been especially stressed, and all he wants is to get his baby brother home man
He’s been smoking a lot more since the wreck
He just wishes he could make everything better
Tommy relishes in talking to the press
Wilbur will clart someone who gets to close to his baby brother
The press who’s never seen Wilbur as anything other than composed and charming suddenly being faced with a very angry older brother who smells slightly like cigarette smoke
Wilbur in the Pogtopia coat but it’s some designer piece that’s expensive as hell
It’s his smoking coat
And it’s what he picks Tommy up in
So he smells like smoke
And not the tasteful cologne he usually wears in public
just like a dark overcoat
really expensive wool
Wilbur using it to cover them from the cameras
when they were younger, like 16 and 12, Wilbur would hide Tommy
like no one got a picture of Tommy until he was 14 or 15
Kristin really hid the boys when they were kids too
Tommy trying to peak out and make faces at the camera
it was illegal to get pictures of them younger than 10
like immediate blacklist
And also maybe some legal issues
Wilbur pulls Tommy's hood up over Tommy's head
And it’s very older brother of him too, he pulls it over to protect his face but then cinches the strings to be a little shit
Those Wilbur and Tommy brother moments comps exists in the universe too
But it’s just shit like that
Tommy has a great support system
He really does
His brothers love him
His mom loves him
He has two amazing friends and a bunch of other great friends as well
And sometimes he feels like a brat for throwing all these fits over his dad y’know?
Wilbur always tries to like, keep an arm around him when they're doing red carpets
And keeps Tommy sitting next to him at Royal events
but also like, steals food off his plate
and ruffles his hair
Tommy whispers the fucking worst jokes about the dignitaries and nobles and Wilbur has to keep a straight face
god thats tommys favorite thing to do
he tries so hard to get Wilbur to laugh and lose his shit
The fucking big boobs bit
But it’s Tommy whispering it to Wilbur completely out of context and randomly at a gala
ALSO
THE WHOLE EXTENDED FAMILY BULLSHIT
TOMMY HATES IT
LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS THIS LIKE AUNT TO HIM?
HE DOESNT KNOW HER
But Royal Families are always big on that shiit
They try to hug him n shit
And Tommy depending on how Brave n shit he’s feeling (how fed up he is) will either politely excuse himself or straight up say no and step back with a glare
he's honestly uncomfortable around the strangers
who say they're family
like he's too sober for this
He needs a god damned drink
But he’s in a vest and a nice tie and his crown is sat proper on his head
And he can’t have a drink
god he's like a little doll, he plays by Phil's rules
the crown comes on and he's the proper prince
He fucking hates it
he sips on Wilbur's wine, and does the whole "tequila for water" thing sometimes
Flask in his sleeve
Techno catches him with the flask once and is just impressed
god is that a look on Techno's face
He sees Tommy slip it from his sleeve and somehow sleight off hand take a drink
And it’s just a raised eyebrow and a head nod that says
Good for you
Bc techno also needs a drink during these events
Sometimes Tommy will spike his and Techno's drinks
as Wilbur regally sips on wine
Wilbur fucking also secretly wishing he had a flask during the drier events
Wine drink just isn’t enough sometimes
Wilbur puts on his best face
and pretends he wants to be there
and gives out a warm smile, and raises a glass
god he fucking hates it sometimes
and sometimes he loves it
but man, does he hate it sometimes
Tommy complains and Phil makes a passive aggressive comment about how
“Oh but don’t you love parties Tommy.”
Wilbur sits between them
The table goes
Techno Kristin Phil Wilbur Tommy
Tommy just sneaks another sip of the flask
he doesn't have time to deal with his dads shit
Slumps back in the seat
He probably wouldn’t even try to hide it after that
Not like Phil is actually looking at him
He can let the press have it
He doenst care
just like leaves the flask next to him
under teh table
and jsut takes large swigs from it
Tommy maybe having a group of his friends crash one of the stuffy events
Not an important one
So fucking dedication ceremony to some inane building
He just invites a wild group of socialites
It’s nice
It’s not as wild as a normal Tommy Innit party
But it’s not a stuffy fucking boring ass royal meeting
they just bring some fucking whiskey into the back room and chat shit
Tommy fucking has a group of friends crash this gathering
It’s not wild
But it’s not stuffy
It’s nice
Tommy even drags Wilbur back for at least a little
and that takes a whole lot of work
It really does, Wilbur isn’t even a little tipsy off the wine, and Phil been by him the whole time and it’s just been hell, he can’t get wiobur away from the “socializing” hes doing
but when Wilbur is a bit tipsy he just becomes more charasmatic
truly a king
Less someone putting on a mask for their father
A little bit more authentic
he's a natural, sipping wine with one hand, and shaking hands with the other, crown propped beautifully on his head, million dollar suits hanging off his frame
It’s nice to see his brother in his element
its a bit sad
but its nice
A little yeah, Wilbur’s
Wilbur’s leaving him, not really but
Wilbur being king is-
It’s going to be hard
Different
More than it is already
Wilbur will always love him
But eventually he’ll be too busy for Tommy
Just like Phil is
And it hurts
But that thought is what makes Tommy take a drink of his flask and drag Wilbur to the back room
Wilbur doesn’t have to forget him yet
Tommy looks real regal too
Wilbur wishes that Tommy could see what he sees
But he knows that Tommy’s self worth issues would take more than a nice hug and some warm words to fix
Tommy looks regal, and the gold crown really fits with the whole golden boy aesthetic
and he laughs, and makes conversation with everyome
and everyone eases up around him
Wilbur wishes that Tommy saw what he sees
also
Tommy and Ranboo's texts have been leaked once
Wow so many dog pictures dude
but also
:sparkles:state secrets:sparkles:
That was hell to clean up
it fucking was
it used petnames (which the public is never supposed to know about the nickanmes of royals fun fact)
and said shit about Phil
and detailed Fundy's illness which isn't public
and talked about meetings that Wilbur forced Tommy to attend
Tommy was terrified
Ranboo too
He was so scared someone would be angry at him for it
He doesn’t think he could handle be yelled at for this thing that wasn’t even his fault
like of course he could've not said it over text
but one of his best friends lives an ocean away
and his life is just all about secrets
dont make this something too
:sparkles: hackers :sparkles:
if someone god a hold of Tommy's IP, or Phone, or Phone number
or
dms
they could be using instagram, twitter, or snapchat to have some of these converstaions
dms can get leaked real easily
Mmmm you ever think about Crime Bous
Because all I can think about is when Wilbur does get out of the house, and just like every event they go to
Tommy isn’t a fucking party boy then, he’s just Prince Thomas, Crown Prince William’s baby brother
And they always get photographed and shit
But they have a great time
They’re always smiling when they’re together
Sans Wilbur being a really protective older brother, and when their grandmother died
It’s nice to just go get lunch together at that one specific cafe they’ve been going to for years
Or just walk the dogs together
Just hang out and be brothers
They sit at the same table every time, and Tommy has gotten a Raspberry Lemonade since he was 8
When they walk the dogs, Wilbur holds Walter and Tommy holds Betty
Sunglasses on, big wool overcoats, and pants that were sewn just for them
And they’re seen walking out on the streets during big events a lot too
To like take a breather
Tommy has made a habit of allowing the press to ask him questions whenever they find him
Wilbur on the other hand always knows exactly what to say to press that come up to them
He always shoos them off with a polite “we won’t be answering any question right now thank you” and a blinding smile
And Tommy’s making a face at the press from over his shoulder
Either like sticking his tongue out or making some sort of face at Wilbur
As he gets older, he stops doing it as much because it gets a bit tiring, everything is tiring
But he does it every once in a while, usually a sharp grin over Wilbur’s shoulder accompanied by a middle finger
when like press sees that Wilbur smokes like a lot
hm
big thin
and I feel like Wilbur would straight up be like "its not a big deal, its completely legal"
and hes like smoking 8 cigs a day, but its fine
He doesn’t have an issue
It’s just a little stress relief
King at 21 is a lot to handle
and maybe the stress is so much that it becomes a problem
but hey its his relief
its legal
he's fine
That’s Wilbur’s mantra most of the time
he falls asleep in Tommys bed a lot, waiting for the teen to come home
wilbur does
he finishes a pack, and sighs, rubbing his eyes
The empire is on the brink of war, it always is
He looks in Tommy's room, its empty
And he sits on the bed, waiting
10 minutes later he's asleep
The sheets don’t smell like Wilbur, and Wil thinks that’s what makes it’s so comforting
They don’t stink of nicotine or Wilbur cologne
The smell like Tommy
and while that smell like expensive booze, and coconut shampoo
its perfect
and the dogs are in Tommy's room too
he's a little less alone
Betty is the cuddler
She’ll come up and sleep next to Wil
but she wont do it to just anyone
its a bond, its trust
its the fact that Tommy likes Wilbur
she growls at Phil
she nudges at Kristin, LOVES kristin
anyways
its lonely and sad
because Tommy usually doesnt come back
Tommy snakes back in early in the morning and tucks Wilbur in
Though most times Wilbur falls asleep in Tommys bed
Uncovered
Completely dressed
He’s lucky bettys fur is sleek otherwise his very expensive clothes would be covered
I think Wilbur more often then not will wake up with Tommy in his arms, and that makes him very happy
like, Tommy comes it at 5am, and just snuggles next to Wilbur
It’s makes Tommy sad to know his brother is waiting up for him to never come
But at the same time he’s always so happy to see him when he gets home
I imagine sometimes butlers come to get Wilbur for work, and Tommy makes them leave so that Wilbur can sleep in "Hello your highness, we came to fetch King Wilbur for his morning briefing" "He's sleeping." "Well, I can see that Your Highness -" "So let him sleep." "Prince Thomas -" "Let. Him. Sleep. Okay?" "Yes, Your Highness."
I've decided that Tommy is the big spoon
in these vulranable moments, when Wilbur is weak, Tommy kind of holds him
like obviously there are a lot of tims, where Wilbur wants to hold his baby brother
however, Tommy kind of holds Wilbur, like wraps himself around Wilbur, and puts Wilbur's head in the crook of his neck
this happens when Tommy comes home to find Wilbur in his bed
either this, or Tommy curls into a ball and rests his head against wilburs chest
Tommy has daddy issues
Wilbur has the weiht of the world
Techno has ptsd
Phil: fuck you my kids are completely fine!
Wilbur’s nicotine addiction
Tommys abandonment issues
Technos fucking PTSD
Once, when the empires war was getting really, really bad, and Wilbur had to decide life or death shit
He smoked a whole pack in a day
And then just kept going
His hands wouldn’t stop shaking
why wouldn't they stop fucking shaking
Tommy stopped partying that week, he isn’t ignorant, nor a fucking dick
He was Wilbur’s right hand for as long as he needed him
Despite how badly he wanted to party until he could see straight
His brother needed him
His king needed him
And he will gladly serve Wilbur as long as he would have him
He stood right behind Wilbur
Every decision
He was right behind him
Even if it meant constant decorum and constant royal dress, Tommy was there
And that was a grounding fact
If Tommy hadn’t been there Wilbur thinks he may have lost it that week
Sometimes the only thing that kept Wilbur’s hands from shaking terribly was holding Tommy’s hands
When the advisors and court had left
Tommy would take Wilbur hands and make him do breathing exercises
Wilbur wasn’t allowed to look anywhere other than Tommy’s eyes
They would get through this
Together
They would, Tommy would make sure of it
Tommy in the room also made everyone a bit nervous and loosen up around Wilbur though
Because sometimes they act like they can boss Will around
And Tommy is stone faced, and has the media wrapped around his finger
The court knows that all it would take is one “scandalous statement” from Prince Thomas to end their careers
Wilbur could fire them, but he’s stressed
Any other day, he’s a fucking FORCE to recon with
But Tommy? He’s here to ensure the best or their careers would end
And you know that Tommy has at least 3 sources in the biggest news outlets in the empire
He could get ANYTHING out there
Wilbur’s throne is the biggest in the middle
Two thrones smaller aside him
Within the like office / study / planning room
Tommy's hasn't been used until just then
Tommy finds it quite uncomfy
But he can deal
Also Tommy drops the nicknames for the week or so
No “Big Man”
It was “Will” and “William”
Your Majesty at one or two points
But that felt a little too formal for both of them
Too alienating
Tommy learned a whole fucking lot of fucking politics that week
Not that he didnt listen in his lessons it’s just that
Well
He can’t not listen if he’s not there
It’s different IRL too
Seeing all the decisions
It’s terrifying
And he’s exhausted
Dressing nicely and talking for 12 hours a day about politics
And life / death decisions
So many cuddles dude
Just permanently cuddling if they’re not presently working or “coping”
And I think
That although Wilbur is the one who’s going through it
When they cuddle, Wilbur likes to hold Tommy
Just in the sense that Tommy’s here and safe
In the midst of all the death around Wilbur
He needs to know that his person, his kid is alright
Plus having this one thing this one routine helps him feel a little on control during this out of hand time
:sparkles: Prince Tommy PR leak :sparkles:
I talked about how Tommy was close to his grandmother
and how he was smoking outside of her funeral
maybe it was during that time in his life
really dark place in his mind
smoked and drank every day
Wilbur smoked a lot during that time yet
they probably drank together a few times
like straight up vodka
Just they’re so young and so tired
and so its like, pictures of Wilbur and Tommy (and just Tommy) drinking in the parlor, and in the like, bar area of their private living area, dark eye bags, red eyes, just straight from the bottle
Both of their ties were undone, no jackets, sleeves rolled up to their elbows, Wilbur's top 3 buttons are undone, they're both like manspreading
like they're just at their lowest, particularly Tommy, but Wilbur was having an adjacent bad time
Tommy's hair is a fuckin' mess
HOWEVER, they're both still clean shaven, neither of their shorts or trousers are wrinkled or stained
They may be going through it, but the royal image waits for no one
How does the castle react? Immediate lock down.
Interrogations or some shit
none of the princes are allowed to leave
they have to do clean up
they write scripts essentially for Tommy and Wilbur to adress the press
they need to send out a memo that they don't agree with underage drinking
its all structured, scripted, and written by advisors (and their father)
major damage control
which is just not what Tommy needs right now, because he's like trying to work through his grief
and Wilbur has a fucking fight with his father about that
Phil does not care
They fucked up
Someone else fucked up
And now they’re going to be big boys and fix it Like Phil's going to Tommy's room to get him to look over what his quick press tour and Wilbur jsut stops him in front of the door "He's fucking grieving - Let him have a moment will you? Don't you know how close he was with Gran?" "You messed up. He messed up. Now you're gonna be big boys and fix it." “You’re horrible sometimes you know that?” “I am your father” “Then act like it, your majesty”
meanwhile Tommy: in bed, hasn't slept, major depressive spiral, cuddling Betty, Walter standing guard at his door, holding onto a blanket that his grandmother gave him
just - can't even cry anymore
just empty
Literally just despondent
Staring at the ceiling as Betty noses his face
like good luck getting to get up, let alone read shit
He hasn’t showered in days
He is very much not presentable
like it's only been a week or two since his grandmother's death
and he still is processing
He is no where near done grieving
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