#if they drop me i seriously think i might try to kill myself because i don’t fucking know what to do without them

[fleshdyke]

shjsjegdbjdr

#going into this im not even totally sure what im gonna end up talking abt so tw for like everything. sui sh csa etc #i have dreams and things i want to do with my life and i dont want to die but i dont know how to handle emotions like this #so my first response has always just been suicide attempt #its so stupid what im upset about but like. idk. i cant get it out of my brain. #its literally just bc my friends are sort of drifting apart from me at lunch. its just that. and it seems so stupid and small to say but i #feel like ending my entire life over this so idk #like im so fucking scared of being alone at lunch. im so scared of being alone. and i tried talking to them about it and i know they have #good intentions but they said ‘we all have other friends and we aren’t each other’s main friends anymore and that’s okay’ #and like. i don’t. i don’t have anyone else to go to #and they basically said it wasn’t their problem. and they didn’t say that verbatim and i’m making them sound so much worse than they are and #i love them all but thats essentially what it felt like to me #and i dont want to bring it up again bc theyve dealt with my shit enough and im mature enough to deal with my own problems #it just. it feels so awful being so fucking alone. i had an actual friend group for a while and my meds were working andi forgot how fucking #bad everything feels. im so paranoid theyre going to drop me and then i don’t know what to do #if they drop me i seriously think i might try to kill myself because i don’t fucking know what to do without them #like it feels like its only a matter of time and i know its not the end of the world but it feels like it. it really fucking feels like it #i feel so inherently unwanted and i know ive said this like a million times over but the only time anyone has ever wanted me was when i was #like 6. and i cant even fucking remember it. like every cis girl is like ‘universal woman experience of being chased by boys you dont want #in elementary school’ and its like. its not universal i would give absolutely anything for that to happen to me bc i know logically that’s #awful and i dont actually want it but god it hurts so fucking much to be unwanted. no one has ever wanted me once. and it scares me that i #want some man to want me so badly he just takes it and i don’t actually want that but it would reassure me that im not broken #and i know its unrealistic to expect to be in a relationship in hs but all of my friends are and it just feels like what the fuck is wrong w #me that no one has ever looked twice other than to bully me. what can i do to change it. will i ever be wanted #everyone i know has someone that loves them unconditionally and not even like romantically like everyone has a best friend at least #but im just so fucking alone. i dont want to be alone forever. i dont know what to do #i dont know how to handle these emotions so i just want to kill myself about it #but i dont actually want to die so i just sit there and cut my arms and hope that someone will ask if i’m okay bc there’s no way i’m #going to volunteer this shit to someone who didnt ask #rambles #vent

[scribblesofagoonerr]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, F - For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Hello, I'm back with part 6. Sorry it's been a bit of a wait, life gets in the way and makes it hard to write, but here's the next part. I honestly don't know how many chapters this will have because I'm really enjoying writing it, so hey ho, I might even just make this one small fic series of many ideas' I currently have in my head :)

I don't know if this chapter does make much sense at all and non of it's been proof read again, so it could be a bit all over the place but please let me know what you think!

Thank you for all the ongoing support so far, it's overwhelming to see how much that you all love this, and it gives me motivation to continue to write!

My asks are open for anyone to drop me an any ideas' on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)

You're progressing well to get better and you're slowly returning to usual happy, self chaotic self.

TW: angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"So, what's the food in this place like then?" Kyra broke the silence in the room, where all the girls were all crowded in as they came to visit you in the pysch ward of the hospital during the visiting hours.

It had been 46 hours since you had been detained, 46 hours since you all but shouted at Leah that you hated her.

You really did regret it.

You didn't actually mean that though, and you had been feeling terrible about it ever since the words escaped your mouth.

"Seriously, Kyra?" Steph stares at the younger Australian in disbelief.

"What? I'm just trying to make conversation here" Kyra replies, shrugging her shoulders.

Caitlin can't help but snort. "And you decide to start with asking what the foods' like?" she teases the twenty-one-year-old.

"Yeah, cos' I've heard that hopsital food is disgusting and all" Kyra remarks to the older girl, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Very mature" Steph rolls her eyes at the two of them.

"So, what is the food like then?" Vic asks, peeking interest to know the answer.

"Terrible, I think that even Leahs' cooking might be better than what they're serving on the menu here" You can't help but grin cheekily.

"Ouch it must be bad then" Beth joins in with the joke.

"You'd better not let her hear you say outloud or I think she'd been offended" Viv tells you as she can't help but smile slightly, just happy to see you slowly returning to your old self.

"So, she didn't come with you guys then?" You ask as you pull at the sleeves of the hoodie you currently had on.

You don't miss the look that all the girls share with one another. You weren't an idiot to know something was going on.

"Just tell me what's going on" You stare at them all, trying to get an answer out of them.

"She's outside in the waiting room with Lia" Jen admits, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh" Your smile falters at the disappointing news.

"She wanted to come in with us Y/N but it was hard for her" Beth explains on behlf of the blonde, who you miss terribley. "I'm sure when she's ready, she'll come and see you" she adds, trying to keep the hope alive.

You really had messed up with what you said, you doubt that she would want to visit you, nor would she want you to come back to the flat where you lived with her.

"Oh uh, well then that's okay I guess, I mean I don't blame her for not coming cos' what I said was horrible and stuff" You make up an excuse as you find sudden interest with the floor beneath you.

"It's not your fault for being angry, Y/N" Katie pats you on the shoulder.

"How're you feeling now?" Alessia asks, concerned as a way to try and change the subject.

"Is this your way of subtly asking me if I'm going to try and attempt to kill myself again?" You glance around at all of the girls' faces in the room.

"Y/N" Kim shoots you a disapproving look.

"The answers no by the way" You mumble quietly.

"Y/N" Kim repeats again, a bit louder.

"What? You know I like to make dark humour jokes in this type of situation. It's just a coping mechanism" You tell your captain as you hold your hands up in mock-surrender, who continues to look at you with a certain look that makes you back down straightaway. "Alright, okay, I'll tone it down with the death jokes" You mumble, slouching further down in your seat.

"How's she been doing?" Leah stands in the reception area of the hospital and fumbles with her hands, as she speaks to one of the doctors.

"Y/N has making good progress. I think another day or so and she'll be ready to come home" The doctor explains with a kind smile.

"That's great news" Lia says, smiling as she glances at the blonde for her reaction.

Leahs' eyes widen in surprise and smiles slightly. "Yeah, that's good to hear. I'm proud of her making so much progress in such a short space of time" she tells the doctor.

"It is, Y/N/N has really thrown herself into trying to get better, the therapy sessions seem to be going well too" The doctor tells them honestly. "Are you going to go and see her? I'm sure that she'd love to see you" she adds.

The blondes feels apprehensive, her eyes dart over in the direction of where the doors led to the psych ward, where you would be with the rest of the girls that had all visited.

Leah had wanted to as well, she just couldn't find the courage to actually take the steps and dipped out at the last minute.

"I hate you, Leah" The words that you shouted at her, played in her head on a constant loop.

"Uh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if she's going to want to see me" Leah confesses, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Le, you don't know that" Lia squeezes the blondes' shoulder gently as she tries to reassure her.

"I know that she hates me, Wally. You heard what she said before" Leah replies quietly, shaking her head as she takes another glance towards the doors.

"You know that she didn't mean that, Le. You know she is just a kid with a lot of feelings sometimes" Lia tells the blonde, smiling at her.

Leah looks a bit more apprehensive as she shakes her head. "There was so much hatred in her voice when she said, it felt like she did mean it" she disagrees with her.

"She was angry the other day though, Le and you even said that yourself" Lia reminds the younger girl.

Leah hums as she bites her bottom lip "But what if she doesn't want to see me? I know she's going to be angry with me for leaving her here in this place" she admits to the older girl.

"She's been asking for you every day since she has been here" The doctor pipes in, gently smiling at the two girls.

"Really?" Leah asks, blinking in slight surprise.

"Yes, Y/N has told me about the visits from all of the girls but the only person she mentioned that she actually wants to see is you, Leah" The doctor tells the blonde.

"See?" Lia smiles at Leah and sqeeuzes her shoulder. "I told you that I don't think Y/N could ever hate you or be angry, you know that, Le" she insists.

"I know" Leah bites her bottom lip anxiously, taking another glance at the door ahead. "I just can't help but feel horrible for making the decision and I'm weary incase she resents me for it" she admits, quietly.

The doctor frowns at them both. "I know it must have been hard to be the one to make that call but it was for the right one to give her the best possible chance to get better" They explain.

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for this, Le. It's what was needed" Lia repeats the doctors words, so to speak.

"Yeah, yeah I know" Leah admits, pulling at the sleeves of her hoodie that she had on.

"You're nervous to see her?" The doctor asks, making the brief observation.

Leah can't help but snort slightly. "That obvious?" she jokes.

"I've been in this job for a while now, it's easy enough to pick up on things like this" The doctor chuckles amusedly. "Regardless of what may have been said, I have a feeling that Y/N will be happy enough to see you" They add in.

"SNAP" You scream loudly as you slam your hand down on the deck of cards that are on the table. "HA! I win!" You cheer in glee.

Kyra let's out a irritated huff while she glares at you. "Why are you so vicious with this game?" she asks.

"I want to win" You smirk and stick your tongue out at her, pulling the deck of cards towards you.

"Kyra, you're literally losing a child" Vic chips in, watching the game amusedly.

"Said child is a menace" Kyra mumbles as she pouts.

"Sucks to be a loser" You can't help but quip as you reshuffle the deck of cards in your hand.

"Room for a couple more visitors?" Leah pokes her head round the door and braces herself for your initial reaction to seeing her.

"LE!" You dart up from your seat and run to the blonde, abandoning the game of cards completely.

All feelings of anger had been swept aside as you were just happy to see her in the room. You thought you'd blown it when you told her that you hated her.

"Hi bubs" Leah instantly embraces you in her arms and kisses the top of your hair. "I've missed you, Y/N/N. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you" she apologises.

"S' okay, you're here now" You mumble, burying her head in her chest as you refuse to let go off her.

"Oi I'm here too, you know" Lia jokes playfully, knowing that you would want that moment with just the blonde.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi Wally" You grin cheekily at the older girl before you turn back towards the older blonde girl. "I'm sorry for what I said cos' I didn't mean what I said about hating you, I was angry and upset and I really don't hate you I promise!" You tell her honestly.

"It's okay bubs, I know you were upset and didn't mean it" Leah smiles as she squeezes you a bit more tighter than before, being careful in case she caught any of your bandages on your arms.

Moving to sit down on the now vacant chair, Leah plonks you down on her lap as she keeps her arms wrapped around you tightly since it was apparent you weren't going to let go any time soon but she was okay with how clingy you was after she hadn't seen you in a few days.

"Whats' been going on here then?" Lia looks towards the game that was previously being played.

"We were playing cards, but Kyras' being proper salty because she's loosing now" You grin, sticking your tongue out at the Australian girl.

"How do you even loose at that game?" Steph wonders.

"I didn't know you could even loose at snap" Beth chuckles, amusedly.

"Apparently so" Jen jokes, joining in with the two of them.

Leah can't help but laugh amusedly as she runs her fingers through your hair. "The doctor said that you're making good progress" she tells you.

"Mhm" You mumble, resting your head on her shoulder.

"That's good news!" Vic overhears the conversation as she smiles at you.

"Yeah, that means you'll be able to come home soon enough" Alessia pipes in.

Katie can't help but scoff. "She should've never been here in the first place" she sneers in the direction where Leah is sat.

"Katie" Kim glares at the Irish girl.

"What? It's true!" Katie exclaims in outrage, not backing down from glaring at the blonde. "You and I both know it, we all do! She should've never been here, she should have been at home with people that care about her" she insists.

"It's what was best for her" Leah fires back just as quick.

"Was it?" Katie scowls at her.

"Can you guys please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" You huff and glance between the two older girls.

"Sorry kid" Katie apologises.

"Sorry bubs" Leah apologises.

"Hey, Y/N/N, it'll be good that you're getting out of hospital soon enough now" Kyra slyly grins at you, looking forward to the pair of you being able to cause mischief in no time.

"Yeah, partners in crime reunited again" You grin at the Aussie girl.

"No, no! Absolutely not!" Steph protests, shaking her head. "It took me at least a week to get the ketchup of the ceiling after the last stunt that you two idiots pulled" She adds.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You try to act innocent as you slyly smirk at Kyra.

"Oh, really? So the baking soda just happened to find it's way inside the ketchup bottle, did it?" Steph narrows her eyes' in the direction of the two of you.

"Maybe" Kyra can't help the shit eating grin on her face.

"I know that look, the pair of you are definitely going to be up to no good" Viv shakes her head.

Jen chuckles in amusement. "You two willl definitely be under a careful watch now incase the next prank gets out of hand" She notes.

"Sure, cos' I'm not going to already be watched like a hawk now anyways, right?" You remark sarcastically, peering up at the older blonde.

"What do you think?" Leah replies back, raising one of her eyebrows.

"You can relax, Le. I'm not going to attempt to kill myself again any time soon" You joke, not realising that now probably isn't the best time to make any type of comment like that.

"Y/N" Kim and Leah both scold you at the same time.

You huff when you realise the pair of them are already ganging up on you and remember that being the baby of the team definitely sucks sometimes.

"What? I'm just saying, I'm not gonna, well unless Leah attempts to try and cook dinner again then it's an easy way out-- Ow! What the fuck?" You continue to make jokes about the situation at hand, jolting in shock when you feel a light pinch on your thigh from said blonde you are sat on.

"Language" Leah states sternly, giving you one of her famous glares.

"That was mean of you to do that! Too soon to make jokes about it then?" You pout and rub your thigh to try and relieve some of the pain. "Yep got it" You add, smiling innocently at the blonde.

"So, I thought you weren't going to come in because it was hard for you?" Katie scoffs at the blonde, deciding to bring the subject up now that you were out of the room, having gone to grab a drink with Jen, Steph and Beth.

"Katie" Viv glances at Katie and exhales a sigh.

"It has been hard Katie" Leah admits, biting her bottom lip.

Katie scoffs again. "Oh? I'm sorry, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you, Leah" she deadpans.

"You don't know how hard it has been, Katie!" Leah shouts loud around the room, attracting a few looks in her direction.

"Wonderful" Steph speaks up first, exhaling a sigh.

"Not again" Beth mumbles, shaking her head.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" You huff as you walk back towards the room with Jen as you can hear the raised voices from the two girls, who weren't seeing eye to eye now

"I think so" Jen agrees.

"Fantastic" You mumble, slowly walking back into the room.

"Oh? And how do you think it's been for Y/N/N? You made the decision to keep her in here!" Katie continues to argue with the blonde, not afraid to be open about her feelings. "You haven't even visited her once while she's been here" she adds.

The Irish girl really hadn't been happy with the whole decision that had been made but there was nothing that she could do herself to stop it from happening.

It had left a tense atmosphere between the two girls and they'd shared a few cross words ever since.

"It wasn't my choice Katie!" Leah insists, continuing to argue with the fiesty Irish girl.

Katie couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. "Sure, but you could have said something to stop it!" she fires back at the blonde, not willing to back down from the argument just yet.

"Girls lets' not do this here" Kim looks between the two of them as she notices you walk back into the room with the older girls.

"Katie, come on, just leave it" Caitlin takes a hold of the girls' hand to try and calm her down.

However, neither of the girls were willing to back down just yet.

They were both just as stubborn as one another sometimes.

"The doctors thought it was best since Y/N/N--" Leahs' words were cut off by you, walking in right at that moment.

"Tried to kill myself, I tried to end my life, and it would have worked if Leah hadn't ran in and stopped me, so everyone thinks keeping me locked up in here it will help to keep me safe"

The room is suddenly so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Whoops?

"Hey, at least the therapy is somehow helping to help me express my feelings now. Yay" You deadpan, plonking yourself back down on Leahs' lap as you rip open the packet of Haribo Tangfastics you had brought from the hospital shop. "So, does anyone want a sweet?" You offer, like you hadn't just said what you did.

#arsenal x reader #woso x reader #leah williamson #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #arsenal women x reader #leah williamson x reader #woso one shot #awfc x reader #awfc imagine #arsenal wfc x reader

[raayllum]

Anyway, I want to talk about this exchange between mostly Viren and a little Aaravos, and how I think it'll pertain to Callum and Rayla's dynamic going forward, since as most of the people following me probably already know, Viren-Aaravos Callum-Rayla is one of the most consistent four-way foil dynamics in the show. Where Aaravos pushes Viren further down that dark path, yet eventually is the reason Viren breaks away entirely (thanks to his fever dreams because Aaravos made him do dark magic in 4x09), while Rayla is already consistently trying to get Callum off of it, yet has inadvertently pushed him further down it in a few ways in S4 and S5. Quote about Rayla from TDP's head writer here.

With all that initial stuff out of the way, let's talk about it.

The first is that when the possession plot line comes back around Rayla will be called to make a Sacrifice, just as Viren was, but instead of being an innocent creature he has no attachment (which is the moral test Viren needed), Rayla's tendency to sacrifice whatever is personally important to her for the good of the world will be in direct opposition with well, not wanting to sacrifice Callum by any means necessary. And she, like Viren, will refuse.

And so will, I think, Callum, at least in a way. Let me explain.

By far the most interesting, indicative, and arguably important word in the exchange is "because," i.e. "I find myself here at these horrifying crossroads because I have followed a dark path." He's had to make this awful, difficult, horrible choices because of his prior choices; they all snowballed. They all became a slippery slope (as Sarai would say). He wasn't just randomly dropped into it. As his younger self says in his dreams, "Every step is a choice."

And now Callum has opened the door of dark magic back up again, and thereby left himself more vulnerable (presumably) to being possessed again in the future. A consequence because he did dark magic, and because he has a darker side (and potential darker path ahead of him). It makes me think more and more that Rayla is going to get stabbed / seriously injured when he's possessed again, and that will be what forces Callum to another crossroads: her death with Aaravos remaining trapped, or saving her life but setting his enemy free. A sacrifice he's willing to make and a sacrifice he's not.

This is furthered by the idea running throughout Callum and Rayla's dynamic of "They might save you or they might kill you" "Exactly, just like me" (book one novelization) where Rayla will save Callum because she refuses to kill him. But, given the way their dynamic is now interwoven with Aaravos and Rayla's own parallels to Aaravos, if Callum isn't going to kill him, yet, either... Then doesn't he kinda have to save him? (More of a reach, I know, but listen with the salvation and destruction theme the exchange makes more sense I swear).

And either way, Aaravos doesn't have to make the choice for him; Callum will play right into his hands anyway.

#i'll be your slaughterhouse #rayllum #5x09 #predictions #s6 speculation #i need you to kill me #subset: salvation and destruction #analysis series #analysis #parallels #tdp #the dragon prince #cube hostage exchange theory #adjacently #devil and the lovers #'i've connected the dots' 'you didn't connect shit' 'i've connected them'

[silverskye13]

can i ask how you get the motivation to write? ive been writing for most of my life but i have such a hard time sticking with it

Honestly it just comes from the overwhelming desire to create. In a perfect world, I would rather animate or make comics, but my life is short on time, so I write instead. I can take my fic with me everywhere, squeezing in writing time while in lines or alone in the office or whatever. It's versatile.

For long projects specifically, it helps to have a plan. You don't have to outline everything [though I know people who do that]. Knowing you have a premise and a major climax somewhere is sufficient. The premise is interesting to you, the major climax is the very cool finish line you want to cross. Setting that goal of "write until you write the thing you desperately want to write" keeps me going. It's why I write chronologically instead of cherry picking scenes I have ideas for and then filling in the blanks later. I treat those scenes like they're dessert. You want it? Work for it :3 not to say cherry picking is a bad thing. I know plenty of people it works for. I just know myself, and if I give myself the fun payoff when I want it, I won't slog through the rest.

In the shorter term other things that help:

Making music playlists or mood boards or whatever. Give your brain a reason to keep picking at the story outside of the story context. Make it fun to work on. Don't feel like writing but don't want to forget you have a project? Add songs to the playlist, look up photos for setting inspiration, make a Tumblr tag for quotes. It has the added bonus of helping your story along, and giving you a reason to make the world and characters better.

Don't be afraid to drop it. Like, seriously. I know this whole post is about motivation, but nothing kills a project more than getting insanely guilty about said project. You're allowed to take days, weeks, months, years to rest on a project. Just because you put it down doesn't mean it'll stay down, and agonizing over putting it down will just ensure it's harder to pick up again. If you're staring at a project and you would rather do literally anything but work on it, don't work on it.

Uhm, counter to that, if it's been awhile and you're scared to start again? Just write gibberish. I have a section on every large document called "cut pieces" where I slam out the most dogshit writing and after I get warmed up, I cut it and put it at the bottom of the doc. For two reasons. The first being you've got the swing of things so you can get rid of all the practice you did getting to that point. The second being it might not be as bad as you think it is. Someday you're gonna remember that dialogue, and you're going to want to salvage it.

Keep aids handy! Especially for things that bring you trouble. For me it's descriptions. I love descriptions, but I often have trouble thinking up good ones or I have something specific in mind I can't nail down, or I've been staring at a wall for an hour trying to think of a good way to describe clouds and I can't. So I keep a description document, full of descriptions from books I've read or previous ones I've written, that I can use as a jumping off point. It speeds things up, keeps me from dithering on something stupid, and sometimes someone already described the perfect cloud, yanno? [As before so again, if anyone wants my description document, feel free to ask. It's massive and it's organized.]

Never stop at the end of a chapter. Well, you can stop at the end of a chapter sometimes it's 2am and you just wanna write [Chapter 11] on the header and go to bed. But normally I like to keep writing a few more paragraphs? So when I start [Chapter 11] I'm not staring at a blank page. Blank pages will always win a staring context. Put an I there so it blinks instead.

Change your document color. Like the paper color? White is so mean sometimes. My screen is black with white text. Other writers I know swear by lavender or green. White is just so hard to break man there's just something about it.

Last one but, keep reading. Like, why do you want to write? Because you want to tell a story sure, but why do you want to tell a story? Well, probably because you read a good one somewhere, and you want to give other people that "I read a good story" feeling. So keep reading. One of the most motivating things you can do is remind yourself why you're slaving over a hot keyboard.

.... And this got very long sorry :'D

Hope this? Helps?

#answering asks #anonymous #the barking writer #writing advice #also sorry if this sounds stilted or theres spelling errors #its midnight and my sleep aids are dragging me to hell as we speak #i can barely keep my eyes open #forgive me if any of this is incoheren #writing #reference

[macchiadinchiostro]

Tony Stark × reader

CONFERENCE

(i apologise for any spelling, grammatical or lexical mistake, English's not my first language. enjoy!)

I was sleeping peacefully in my bedroom when a screaming Klaudia, knocked down my bedroom door, mumbling like a madwoman and starting frantically rummaging through my wardrobe and all my drawers.

What the hell is going on.

I wake up grumbling and blinded by the light that suddenly came on.

«Klo? What the hell?" I rub my eyes, watching my roommate fumble through my clothes.

"What the hell? What the hell?! You're kidding me, right?" she shouts furiously "You've been sleeping for three and a half hours! Three! You said you were going to take a quick nap and you slept, three. Damn. hours. Come on! You promised me that this time you would be on time!" she frowns tossing me a t-shirt and skirt.

I don't know exactly how long it took me to understand what she was talking about, but clearly too long because she started screaming and mumbling again.

While I was getting dressed I then learned that I am a shitty friend, because I had forgotten that for her birthday I had promised to accompany her to an event she had been waiting for months: Tony Stark's conference on I don't even remember what, what it had been toured all over the United States and eventually made it to Miami.

She's been talking about it since forever, she's just his biggest fan. She knows everything there is to know about him, all his work, his projects and since it has become of public dominion that he's iron man, her obsession just increased.

I mean, I can't blame her but I can't say I'm happy to go either, to be honest.

I just know him for fame, it's not like I actually follow him or what he does.

Anyway, Klaudia is one of my best friends so, I won't complain any further.

I finish to get ready in no time, we get in my car, and we head to the congress.

° ° °

It's. impossible.

He had been talking for more than two hours, without taking a break nor drinking even a little bit of a water.

Everyone here seems to be focused solely on what he's saying, without losing a single word.

I feel my eyelids getting heavy once again.

I've been fighting to not fall asleep almost since we arrived and when I'm about to pass from our world to dreamland, Klaudia, gives me a sound elbow. My eyes go wide open and I sit up on my chair, adjusting my posture and hoping it'll help to stay awake.

«How much will this take?» I whisper rubbing my eyes forcefully «He usually takes a break after the four hours.» she responds seriously.

My jaw drops to the floor «I'm sorry, after how much?» I exclaim a bit too loudly since everyone turns to us and Tony Stark himself stops talking.

On one hand the silence feels so good I might just fall asleep on the spot. On the other hand I might not cause he spotted me and instead of falling asleep, I want to die on the spot.

Anyway, I clear my throat and nod a little excuse and he starts talking again.

If looks could kill, I think I'd be dead, buried and decomposed from the way my roommate is looking at me.

Anyway, she quickly moves her focus back to Stark so I can relax my shoulders and return to my desperate attempts to not fall asleep.

After that, however, I can't help but notice how Stark's gaze meets mine more often than it did before, which definitely helped me to give myself an attitude and wake up.

He's not looking at me, it's impossible. He must be looking at someone he knows sitting behind me or something like that.

I try to ignore his insistent glances and to convince myself that I'm just being paranoid, but now that i pay more attention to actually understand if I may have schizophrenia and I'm seeing illusions or if he's actually looking at me, I can't help but notice that I may not have it.

I turn around a couple times to check who's sitting behind me but I don't notice anyone who could be close to him.

What if he's a actually looking at me then?

I mentally slap my forehead. No way.

The hours pass more quickly than expected and in no time, he gets off the stage announcing a break.

While I'm out of the congress' room, enjoying some appetisers from the buffet, someone taps on my shoulder.

Please no, don't give me a speech now.

I snort under my breath and without bothering to turn around I start talking «Klaudia I know. I know I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a fool of myself in front of everyone embarrassing you too. Seriously. But you have to try and get me anyway! That guy talked for four hours without interruption! Four hours! It's... It's insane! I couldn't bear it anymore!» before I could go on anyway I get interrupted.

«Oh, you couldn't bear it anymore uh?»

My heart stops.

This is not Klaudia's voice.

It's the first thought that crosses my mind.

Please don't be who I fear you are.

It's the second. Then I turn around.

And fucking shit.

it's the third.

#tony stark #iron man #tony stark x reader #iron man x reader #marvel #fanfiction #marvel fic #part 1

[petersbaby]

This is FOUL. I am warning you right now so don’t come to me saying this was too weird or gross, this is for the ppl with piss kinks because I know y’all are out there. I offer you this in solidarity

WARNINGS: 18+ piss play, oral m receiving

This is your last warning 💀

-

“Cmon, just tell me what it is, you’re killing me with curiosity”, says your friend with benefits with an amused expression.

“Oh my god, no. Seriously drop it” you were turning red from embarrassment as you stand by listening to him try to guess your secret kink. You hadn’t really meant for it to be a special secret, it was just something too unconventional to casually say so you’ve kept it to yourself as long as you’d had it. You’d both had a couple of drinks, and somehow landed on the topic of kinks and fetishes.

He told you his, and honestly, they were kinda vanilla. You were absolutely not gonna go there with him because he’s so innocent compared to you.

“Okay okay, let me guess.” He starts naming off random things trying to catch your attention with the right one. “Being tied up? Being choked? Daddy kink? Spanking? Hair pulling?” He kept going and going.

“I mean I do like those things but nope. It’s too gross, I don’t wanna tell you”, you are becoming amused yourself watching him ponder every possible answer you could possibly give him.

“Gross. That’s a hint. Hmm. Spit. No?”, you shake your head. “Uhhh blood? Some kind of bodily fluid? Piss???” He was halfway joking, but you shifted in your seat as he said the last guess. Mortified. His face lights up as he feels accomplished for figuring out your “big secret”. Then came the concern.

“That’s a new one. Umm, yeah I wasn’t expecting that.” You can tell he’s just surprised and not actually judging you. He was very sweet and was very open and receptive to what you liked in bed, he just wanted to please you and make you happy.

“Yep. Can we switch the topic now, or…” you want to crawl into a cave and never come out. He absolutely thinks you’re weird. Perverted, sick.

“Hmm no, not that easy. Is that…something you want to try with me? What do you even do?”, he asks curiously.

“There’s a lot of things you can do, but I don’t want to if you’re even the slightest bit uncomfortable with the concept.”

“I’m not uncomfortable, hell I might even end up liking it myself. Just show me?” His sweet tone when talking about such a perverse topic was almost comical, you giggle to yourself as he arches his brows, totally serious.

“Hm. Okay, well to start out I have a non-messy way to do it. We gotta take a shower together.” You were a little bold and not as shy as usual because of the slight buzz you had from the alcohol.

“Easy enough, sounds good”, he replies. You’d showered with each other a couple of times in the past, so it was comfortable as you both stripped once reaching the bathroom. You stepped into the tub as he followed, there was a silence in the room but it wasn’t an awkward one. He was already starting to get hard, not trying to be subtle while staring at your naked body. He’d seen it many times but was still enamored with it.

You kissed him passionately for a minute, which got you rather worked up. You pull away from the heated kiss, much to his dismay, to then get down on your knees in front of him. You sit back, resting on your ankles for support, and open your mouth with your tongue out wide. You look up at him expectantly, watching as the cogs turned in his head and the pieces came together. Click.

“In-in your mouth? I don’t even know if I can, you kinda got me hard.”

“Yes, just try.”

He closes his eyes to really focus, he was nervous but excited to make you happy (and horny). A few moments passed before he groaned and his piss began to hit your tongue, which was still sticking out, and run down your chest. You collect some of the warm liquid and groped your own breasts, rubbing it on your tits, massaging them and pushing them together before making sure to catch the rest in your mouth, enjoying the salty and semi sour taste and the sensation of the warmth going down your throat.

At this point, he’s watched the whole thing and if he wasn’t hard before, he absolutely was now. He looks at you, still on the floor in front of him, almost in awe. “That was-yeah you’re right that was really hot.” You just smiled, licking the head of his length and collecting the small droplets still lingering before taking him into your mouth, at which he groans and braces himself with his hand on the shower wall.

“Oh my god, fuck, so good. Please.” He grabs a fistful of your hair and begins moving your head to the rhythm he wants, fucking in and out of your mouth, using you as a sex toy after using you as a toilet. The depravity drove him crazy, he was just feral at this point and so desperate to unload into your mouth. You liked being used, you just let it happen as he handles you roughly, mascara starting to run as unintentional tears fall down from the repeated gagging on his cock.

It didn’t take long at all, and soon after it started he was spilling into your mouth, down the back of your throat. You nearly choked on it, there was so much and it just kept on coming, but swallowed every bit. He offers a hand to help you to your feet, and he turns on the water. Warm, not scalding but still really warm, it felt amazing as it washed over your body. He wraps his arms around your waist from the back as you washed the makeup off your face, relaxing into the heat of the water and the heat coming from his body pressed to yours.

-

Once you’re both clean, warm, and in pajamas, you crawl into bed together and decide to get a little high while watching a movie. “So… yeah. That’s that”, you said meekly. He hadn’t said a word about the whole experience and you were afraid he didn’t enjoy it. He just laughs, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“You said there are several different things you could do, I’m excited to try them all out.” You nodded and snuggled deeper into his chest.

#eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader

[risingphoenix87]

God, it's been a while, but...The Triumphant Return of Villainous Found Family Incorrect Quotes!

Charles: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Prof. Callaghan: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Charles: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Prof. Callaghan: Is it working?

Hans: Are you packed for the trip?

Syndrome: Yup.

Hans: Then where are your bags?

Syndrome: All I’m bringing is a good attitude and a sense of adventure.

Hans: A change of underwear might be nice…

Randall: When did you become a hero?

Turbo: Um… the moment I saved you from getting killed.

Randall: You’re the last person on earth I wanted to rescue me.

Turbo: Well… sucks to be you, don’t it.

Hans, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

*Ernesto is fighting a monster* 

Dawn: Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it! 

Ernesto: The power to believe in myself!? 

Dawn: No, a knife! Stab it! 

Randall: Next time I'm at the pet store, I'm gonna take a hamster and drop it in the scorpion cage. I wanna see what a hamster's face looks like when it goes, "oh, fuck." 

Charles: *closes a cabinet* 

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door* 

Dawn: What was that? 

Charles: The sound of someone else's problem. 

Ernesto: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say!

Prof. Callaghan: You should say something else.

Charles, with a headache: Advil me up, daddy.

Prof. Callaghan: I will short out the language center of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

Gothel: Are pigeons drones?

Syndrome: What? No, I'm trying to sleep.

Gothel: Think about it. How come you've never seen a baby pigeon? And why do you never actually see a pigeon nest? Because they're DRONES!

Syndrome: *Crying* Please let me sleep...

*Gothel is talking about her past*

Gothel: I guess it was that day I came home to a cold, empty house, devoid of light and love, and I knew then that my sorrows would only grow.

Dawn: Gothel, this is the saddest life story I have ever heard! And you haven't even covered the teen years!

Hans: Oh, I'm sure it gets better!

Gothel: Ha! No, at eleven, things really took a turn for the worst.

Syndrome: When I see really attractive people like Hans, I just laugh because I know if we lived in the Aztec culture, he'd be sacrificed for his beauty.

Charles: I mean, that's one way to cope with not being attractive.

Turbo: Works for me.

Randall: Happy Throwback Thursday! Here’s a throwback to when Turbo ate an entire tube of lipstick.

Turbo, whining: But why would it be cherry-flavored if you can’t eat it?!

Randall: Gothel and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.

Gothel: We what?

Prof. Callaghan: Unfollow me if you think the Earth is flat.

Charles: *seriously pretends to be a flat-earther to antagonize the anti-flat-earther.

Turbo: *neutral but makes polls to start fights, "Is the Earth flat? Let's discuss!"*

Dawn: *not a flat-earther but makes "the Earth may be flat but this ass ain't" jokes for viral tweets*.

Ernesto: *actual flat-earther.*

Prof. Callaghan: You ever see something that changes your life and you're just like "huh.."

Charles: I saw you.

Prof. Callaghan: Honestly that's so cute and sweet but it kinda makes this awkward because I was gonna show you a picture of Ernesto in a turkey costume.

Dawn: Hey, Ernie! Did you know you're my BFFLWYLION? 

Ernesto: What the hell is that supposed to mean? 

Dawn: Best Friend For Life Whether You Like It Or Not. 

Ernesto: 

Ernesto: That’s one way to say it, I guess… 

Gothel: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire. 

Dawn: But what if something else happens just this one time. 

 Phoenix: Good. Thanks, dad.

Charles: You just called Bob “dad”. You just said “thanks, dad.”

Phoenix: What? No, I didn’t. I said “thanks, man”.

Prof. Callaghan: Do you see me as a father figure, Phoenix?

Phoenix: No. If anything I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me.

Charles: Hey! Show your father some respect!

Syndrome: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

Dawn: What's the taser challenge?

Turbo: We tase each other, then drink.

Dawn: How do you win?

Syndrome: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

*The Squad cleaning up* Hans: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away. Randall, to Dawn: Okay Bellwether, which bin do you wanna go in—

Syndrome: Last night, I had a dream about sandwich pizza.

Dawn: What?

Syndrome: It was pizza with bread on the top and the bottom.

Dawn: So a calzone?

Syndrome: You can’t just name things I dream up.

Hans: My life is a mess.

Randall: Hans relax, go get a beer.

Hans: I don’t want a beer.

Randall: Who said it was for you?

Prof. Callaghan: Uhh.. Dawn just asked if we want to…

Prof. Callaghan: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?”

Randall, not even looking up from his phone: She’s asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees.

Prof. Callaghan: Oh, that makes more sense.

Randall: Could you be any more annoying?

Gothel: Yes.

#villainous found family au #disney villains

[depressopax]

From ABQ with love, Nacho

Chapter 1

This is the first chapter of my LCDP x BCS AU/Nacho spin-off. More info can be found here! || AO3 link

Chapter summary: After being saved by "The fancy son of a bitch", his travel from Albuquerque, to an unknown destination begins. But who is the man really? Why did he save Nacho? And where are they headed? Words: 1.8k TW: Drugs/drugging, cuss words, blood [Might be a bit OOC, bare with me] English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3

I don’t know where he’s taking me, the man who introduced himself as “Berlin” - But I choose to remain to calling him “The fancy son of a bitch”

But I don’t dare to ask him. Whether I like it or not - He saved my ass. 

So when he threatens to kill me if I try escaping, when he drugs me into obedience, when he drives me through the country, and when we sit down at the airport and then on the plane - I don’t make a sound. 

Plane I haven’t been on a plane since I was a kid. 

Me and dad only went on trips a couple of times. 

We didn’t grow up poor - and my childhood was happy. 

My dad was a single parent and had his own company, so it was up to him to make sure his son was well fed. 

He did a good job, my dad. But I had the tendency to get myself into trouble.

It was a combination of the adrenaline junkie within me, the people I made friends with, and the economical situation me and dad had. 

It started with Domingo and Tuco - and escalated into the Salamancas and the cartel. 

Dad is an honorable man. In the fog of my mind, I see his face. I remember us on that airplane once, when I went on my first vacation. I was so excited, and he smiled at me. 

It hurts. It fucking hurts. 

He probably thinks I’m dead. In some ways, I am indeed dead. 

Did Mike keep his promise? Is my dad safe? 

I’m not religious but still I pray to all Gods possible that he gets out safely. 

I hate myself for putting him in danger. I hate myself for my choices. 

And I hate the fancy son of a bitch next to me. 

We fly first class. 

He’s a rich fuck, too. He looks unfazed, where he sits reading a book and drinking what I can only guess is alcohol. 

Drinking in the light of the day, on a plane? Seriously? 

The rich son of a bitch who calls himself “Berlin” looks at me. I must have been staring. If looks could kill, he’d drop dead now. 

“I would offer you a scotch, but you’re high.” he chuckles and I grunt in reply. I turn my head to not see his smug face. My situation is confusing and humiliating enough. He continues talking to me, but I’m not listening. 

Somehow, he reminds me of Lalo.

The way he talks, his confidence and that sick, twisted personality. They’d make good friends. I manage to laugh and surprise both him and myself. 

“Where… We headed…” I manage to spit out. Literally tho. I don’t know what kind of drugs I’m on, but it's difficult to open and close my mouth. I’m probably drooling. And he probably finds joy in seeing people like that. 

“Spain. But to which town I can’t let you know.” 

Spain… 

“Why?” 

“Because I’m ordered to bring you there. A friend of mine has an offer for you. And you’re a damn stupid brat if you don’t agree. Besides, this little trip cost me a fortune. Imagine all the fancy wines I could’ve brought, instead of picking up some depressed, bald cartel man.” 

Suddenly I’m happy to be drugged. The fancy son of a bitch should be too. I’d slap his smug face bloody if I could. 

I don’t give a fuck that he “saved” me. I don’t care if we’re on a plane. I’d ruin him. 

“Fuck you.” I whisper.

He glances at me, up and down. I must look ridiculous with sweaty, dirty clothes, wounds and bruises on my face. That, with the dark circles marking my dark eyes, combined with how affected I must look from the drugs, with half open mouth and eyes. He definitely notices, because his next words are:

“I have no idea what the Professor saw in you.” 

The Professor? I choke back a laugh. Berlin. The professor. What the fuck is this? 

“You should’ve let me die.” 

Silence.

“Yes. Yes I should have, huh?” He puts the book down and stares blankly at me. “I’ll get some sleep. Ima have to drug you again, so you don’t try suffocating me with a pillow.” 

“Yea. Because I’d definitely try to escape when we’re on a damn plane.” My voice is coated with sarcasm and the fancy son of a bitch laughs. When he hands me a pill, I don’t have the energy, nor willpower to disagree. I swallow it down with water and soon my brain is fogged up again and I enter a world of dreams. 

I remember my dad’s worry. I had just joined the cartel and for the first time in my life, I was beaten bloody. My face was swollen and I was limping when I sunk down outside his door. 

“Hijo?” a tired voice said. His face twisted to concern, to anger and then fright. Having to explain what had happened to him was not easy. His worry was not the worst. It was the disappointment in his eyes. 

“Sorry.” I mumbled. “I got this under control, ok?”

What a lie. 

The next day is the same: Airplanes and cars - in the company of what I’m now sure is a sociopath. He talks to me as if we were friends. He mocks me like he hates me, and he asks me questions like he was a cop and I was a suspect. I can’t figure him out. At all. 

When we finally arrive at an old house in the dead of night, I’m finally free from those damn pills, and I get to eat some real food. I even get my own room. That night, I slept like I’ve never slept before. 

The wardrobe in “my room” has some simple t-shirts and jeans, a pair of sweatpants, a hoodie, and even some work-out clothes. 

I should feel relieved but I’m anxious. It feels like danger creeps over me. Is this some sort of sick joke? Is “Berlin” part of the cartel too? I don’t know. At least the door to the room is open. The house is dark and dusty. If someone actually lives here, they must be a disruptive person. I walk the house mindlessly. I find a kitchen, dining room, bathrooms and like 8 more bedrooms. There’s even an attic.

Curiosity takes over and I climb the stairs up. 

I walk into… A classroom…?

Yes. A classroom. 

A blackboard, a desk with pens and papers… A line of small tables and chairs, exactly like the ones I used to sit by when I was young and in school. 

One word is written with white chalk on the board: ¡Bienvenido! It says. 

“Hello.” I flinch and by instinct reach for the gun I don't carry anymore. 

Not because this man looks like a threat either ways. 

The thin, bearded man seems to be my age, with dark, thick glasses, wavy hair and a dark suit. Everything he’s wearing is dark. As dark as the house. He doesn’t look like a snob. The suit looks as old and vintage as the interior of the house. Must be he who owns the residence. He almost looks like a…

“Professor.” I mumble. The man smiles and looks nervous.

“That’s right. You may call me ‘The Professor’”

No thank you. Is what I don’t say. I just stare at him, as if he just told me a joke that wasn’t funny. 

“Ignacio…” he sighs and pulls out a chair. He takes a seat and looks at me. I should hate him. But I can't. Not yet, either ways. “...I’m sorry about your trip here. Berlin can be… Intense.”

“He’s a sociopath.” I correct him with a hiss. 

“...Whatever you want to call him. Do you know why you’re here, Mr. Varga?” 

Mr. Varga. I’m starting to think this man is older than he seems.

“No.” 

“It’s because I have a plan. And I need you for it to work.”

“What? You needed to bring me all the way from Albuquerque and to… Wherever the hell we are, for it?”  

“In Toledo. And yes. I needed to.”

“How’d you find me? And why?” I start to feel annoyed, but mostly because I’m so calm. I’ve totally lost my mind. I shouldn’t even hear this man out. Still, I want to. I need to understand my own situation. 

“You were in a dark place, Ignacio. But in the darkness there's light. There’s this man that told me about you. He told me about your situation, about your skills and past. You’re a great asset to my team.”

“Who?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“To me it does!” 

The Professor starts looking annoyed now too. 

“Can I please talk?” The way he’s talking makes me feel like a kid. It’s like getting lectured and I hate it. So I sigh and seal my lips.

“Of course.”

“Thank you.” he adjusts the thick glasses. “Like I was saying; You’re a great asset to my team. You have been in the cartel, you know how to handle weapons and I’m guessing you’re good when it comes to money?”

“What the fuck is this?” I stand up. I’m starting to lose my patience with this shit, hell, I lost it the second I got here. 

I walk up to him, threatingly. It seems to work. Of course.

“Manuel Varga. He’s alive and well.” 

I want to kill him for talking about my father. But I also want to cry and thank him for saving my father. 

“How do you…” 

“I promise to hand you proof of his safety, if you promise to hear me out.” 

The Professor sounds stern. Yea. His nickname definitely makes sense now. I sit down again. Finally, the bearded man starts talking.

“This week, you’ll meet your new crew of eight other criminals. You - and Berlin, are the first to arrive. These people shall be your new “family”. You’ll eat together, live together and get to know each other - build up trust and grow strong - together.” 

He goes quiet. 

“Okay…?” I say, my eyebrows furrowing. 

“And then… In five months from now… We’ll rob the Royal Mint of Spain.” 

I’m startled. Shocked. Then I laugh. This is a sick joke. Of course. My laughter dies out. The man stares blankly at me. Oh God. He’s being serious. 

“...That’s impossible.”

“Difficult, yes. But not impossible, Ignacio.” 

We stare each other down. After a while, I shake my head.

“How?” 

He smiles at me. A cocky smile, this time. For the first time, I actually see more in him - besides a four-eyed lunatic. Maybe, just maybe…

“I have a plan.”

#fanfic writing #aspiring author #writeblr #aspiring writer #original fanfiction #breaking bad #brbabcs #la casa de papel #Nacho spinoff #lcdp x bcs au #fanfiction writer #fanfic authors #better call saul #nacho #nacho varga #ignacio varga #better call saul fanfic #breaking bad fanfic #breaking bad fanfiction #la casa de papel fanfiction #lcdp fanfiction #ignacio nacho varga #nacho varga fanfiction #better call saul spinoff #crossover #au #fanfic writers #ao3 writer #writers on tumblr #writer

[weird-dere-writes]

Marshall got me on a fucking hook ffs

DO U REALIZE HOW BAD THIS MAN WOULD HAVE ME WITH HIS FLIRTING??¿??¿?¿¿¿ u know this guy is a DAMN TEASE AND COCKY (with mommy issues)

But i feel like he would confuse you and make u question ur feelings cuz tends to be a jerk sometimes

So i got lil angsty idea

So I just imagen us bashing out what the feelings that been pilling up, his cheeck red cuz u snapped HARD at him after he ketp going even when u told him to quit it

So there u are crying and screaming at him, telling him that he eother means it or not and if he keeo goings like this with you, he might as welp hit the bricks cuz u won't want to hear from him again. He just kinda in a shock state as u tell him all of this

So u stomp away and he breaks his trance and floats to you and tries to stop u from leaving him with the possibility of never seeing you again. Cuz he cares. SO MUCH but he sucks at showing it, often desguising it with his bad boy persona

I just imagen after that he works to become a better man AND partner (i seen the episodes with marceline and princess bubblegum AND ITS THE GREENEST FLAG COUPLE CUZ THEY BOTH SO HONEST AND REALLY WANNA WORK THINGS OUT SO I SAY HE WOULD BE A GOOD BF lil probs there and there but he'll work them for you and him)

Anyway there goes my rant, inspired by one of the oldest episodes when fionna was still a lil new <3333

"he might as welp hit the bricks cuz u won't want to hear from him again" i know it's supposed to be sad but the way this made me CACKLE LMAO. Cus of the 'if it sucks hit da bricks' skeleton meme AMEOLI:NMRIEOMNTDRF:.

BUT ANYWAY lol Flashbacks to that old adventure time episode of Fionna and Cake. Fionna just crying over Marshall pretending to be dying and she yells "FOR ONCE DROP IT YOU FREAK!" And he's just so shocked, "Glob Fionna, you're the realest person I've ever met." And then Fionna just proceeds to emotionally punch him lmao.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HE'S JUST SUCH A GUY <333333. But like no, you're so right he would also absolutely kill me with the flirting at times. Just his voice alone makes me ASCEEEEENNNNDDDDDD. At other times tho I could see myself totally play flirting with him right back. Just depends on my mood I guess.

But yeah, it gets to a point where it's like what are we? And you really wanna address it, but he just ignores cus I guess trying to think about it makes him uncomfortable? Maybe because he feels he wouldn't know how to be a good partner to u due to his own lack of a father (rip genderbent Elise 😔) or father figure. And you keep hinting at it, and even gently asking openly, like seriously, where is this going? But he just keeps changing the subject and pushing the thought away. And one day you've just had enough. You need to know now. You need to know if you can keep letting this go on or if you need to let him go and move on. Because you don't have forever to wait like he does.

So you yell, you cry, you ball your fists to stop yourself from hitting or shoving him. And he freezes up. He doesn't know what to do, what to say, how to make it better and stop your from hurting because of him. He's flustered, confused, and then you turn your back on him. He's absolutely lost, his unbeating heart pulling him in every direction. But he knows he can't lose you. Not like this. He cares for you too much. He really likes you. He... actually loves you. So he follows you. Because he doesn't want you to leave him. He's still silent as he thinks about how to never make you feel this raw again. But the way he stops you and just holds you tells you everything you need to know. He wants this. He just needs your help in figuring out how to do it right 🥺💔.

UGH your brain is so juicy Ane I loved your rant very very much :3 💋💋💋💋

#marshall lee things 💬 #miraclecherryblossomsblog 🌸 #twy’s inbox 💌

[ecargmura]

Dog Signal Episode 1 Review - Dog Lovers Should Watch This!

I feel bad for this anime. It’s debut was really late this month (October 22) and before that, the trailer was released super late as well. I feel like there’s very little hype for this anime because of the late premiere. However, I’m so glad it’s finally available with subtitles because I want to see cute dogs! As a dog owner, I might be able to relate or even learn new things with this show!

The story is about Miyu Samura who got forced to raise a mini poodle after his ex-girlfriend dropped him off at his place three days ago. He has no desire to raise the dog, but since he cannot find an owner, the dog is just chilling at his place for the time being. With the way he keeps barking, Miyu decides to train him by walking, but does a disastrous job and almost got it killed before Shinichiro Niwa, a dog trainer, saved the day. After some ups and downs, Miyu decides to become a dog trainer in hopes to bond with his dog more.

First off, the ex-girlfriend really pissed me off. If you’re not going to raise the dog, then don’t drop him off onto someone else! The reason why the dog is so rowdy is because he senses Miyu’s discomfort towards him! Like, Miyu doesn’t want the dog either, yet he’s putting in some effort to raise it even if it’s terrible.

Second, seeing Miyu try to walk the dog really hurts me on the inside because I have two poodles that I adopted eight years ago and I wouldn’t want to walk my dogs like this either! Instead of a collar, a harness would be preferable because the dog won’t choke—that’s why I changed from collar to harness for my dogs. Seeing Miyu pull the dog so hard that he flew hurt me too. I know that this story is about Miyu changing from not wanting the dog to loving it, but it really hurts to see all of this.

Third, the part where Niwa “trains” Miyu by making him wear a collar and having experience what his dog felt during the walk made me laugh and also gave me second-hand embarrassment. It feels like a smart way to train first-time dog owners on how their dog feels when going on walks incorrectly, but the way these two did it in public was the reason for my second-hand embarrassment. I’d probably lock myself in the house for the rest of the year if that had happened to me. The fact that Miyu legit quit his job at the bar and decides to work for Niwa…and then learns that Niwa hadn’t had business for two months also feels like a hasty decision. I’d feel like I got scammed if I were in his situation.

I feel like the only sensible person in this anime, so far, is the pet groomer, Ritsuka Izumi. She’s the best character so far. Hopefully, she will be the voice of reason for the cast as they seriously need one. I also hope that through her, I can see cute animated dogs as well. Also, Woolson is adorable and I need more of him! I don’t think Miyu’s dog has been named yet. I do wonder what name he’ll give it.

The voice cast is top-notch for such an obscure anime. Miyu is voiced by Kensho Ono and Niwa is voiced by Kenichi Suzumura; I think I saw a video of his radio show where he and his wife Maaya Sakamoto mentioned they had dogs. This would mean Suzumura has experience raising dogs, which could be a great fit for him. Yuko Kaida voices Izumi. The last character, the vet, has yet to be seen. The dogs have their own voice actors too, and I think they did a great job sounding like dogs but also being distinct.

Overall, I do think this can be a very educational anime! The show even provides dog training tips! I read somewhere that the author used to be a dog groomer before changing jobs to a manga artist. I think having prior knowledge about a subject really enhances it a lot.  I am resisting the urge to spam pictures of my dogs, which are coincidentally poodles as well! I have mini poodles and they’re the cutest things ever! They’re smart and loving creatures, but they can be such brats and gluttons. What are your thoughts on this anime’s premiere?

#dog signal #Miyu Samura #Shinichiro Niwa #Ritsuka Izumi #woolson #dogs #review #anime #anime review #ecargmura #arum journal

[psychewritesbs]

HI ! another anon here, unfortunately I saw many (or not many but very vocal) express joy at the possibility of Megumi being completely erased by Sukuna. And I don't know if I'm simply in denial but I refuse to believe that this is the ending that Gege would give his deuteragonist, and leaving pending points like? not even a closure like he has even given to side characters? Megumi is my fav, I know there is a possibility that he dies, but not like this, not now. u still have positivity? :')

HOLA dearest Another Anon, 

I mean... what can I say. I was, quite literally, boasting about wanting to see Megumi suffer like the massive idiot that I am. I even busted out with the tacky Mexican telenovela villainess laughter. 

Seriously, I am insufferable... 

... And then I saw what Gege did... it broke my heart because I wasn’t expecting it to be so damn cruel. Gege. is. a. fucking. sadist. Just you wait you damn cursed cat, I’m coming for you just so that I can ask you how poetic it is to have “Victoria” carved on your forehead. I'll be your Goddess of Victory alright.

That said, I can see why someone would be overjoyed at seeing Sukuna overpower and obliterate Megumi’s consciousness. Either they don’t care about Megumi or they are excited by the implications. 

But for us Megumi-lovers... I totally get it. Not only is it hard to ignore that Gege has killed off or “put in the corner” so many important/major characters already, but if “Megumi” is gone and only his body remains with a different consciousness within it... well, even if he looks like it, he’s not really Megumi any longer, is he? 

And honestly, this whole experience made me realize that, as much as I love JJK in general, I’m here for Megumi and Megumi’s growth as a character. 

Anyways. Yeah. I am cautiously optimistic under the cut for several reasons, but mostly because Gege gives meaning...

I am cautiously optimistic

Cautiously optimistic because as much as my brain can’t help itself, I don’t want to try to predict JJK anymore. I think some of my headcanons have come to pass in a different expression of what I had in mind. But that’s the thing with “Archetypes”, Archetypes are an empty shell until they are given meaning.

So at this point I just want to enjoy what’s left of this roller coaster ride. Read this to mean that I’ll probably won’t be able to help myself and will continue trying to guess how things progress.

JJK is beautifully unpredictable even with all of the foreshadowing that Gege dropped along the way.

I’m also cautiously optimistic because Gege has shown us at least a couple of times that the original body’s consciousness can still awaken and take over.

Finally, I am cautiously optimistic because the kanji in Megumi’s name can be said to symbolize a light in the darkest of shadows. A blessing in a cursed world.

After all, does light not shine brightest in the darkness? 

I personally HOPE that this poetic justice comes back into play later on. The power of names is a trope after all.

There’s also thoughts that have been shared with me by others...

Like ma 🍒, who keeps reminding me that we don’t know how this is going to play out yet and that there’s details we can keep in mind that might mean that this isn’t the end for Megumi.

I think moving forward you might also start hearing more evidence about why this is just temporary because, as has been largely theorized, Sukuna just needs Megumi’s cursed technique to make him a new body. 

Another thing to keep in mind is that...

Gege is good at manipulating emotions

Like... reeeeeal good.

Just look at the current state of the Megumi fandom or how any time Nobara is mentioned the fandom goes into an uproar. 

This is a culmination point and it has been beautifully executed in the sense that it’s got you and me and millions of other people lamenting whether this is “it” for Megumi.

So the way events flowed could all very well have been crafted for the sake of emotional impact.

But we simply won’t know for some time.

This is a call to trust the process. We have no choice but to let the cat cook.

If this is, indeed, temporary, then we will get our closure.

If this is “it”, however... well...

I have to say there’s something larger at play here, and that is “the kind of story Gege is writing” and “the kind of writer Gege is”.

So keep in mind that...

Gege is an existentialist

To your point about how unsatisfying Megumi’s death would feel if this is “it”... yeah. Totally. 

So that should tell you that you have to think of Gege as either an existentialist or a nihilist mangaka.

Since I’m not sure whether you understand what these concepts mean, what I’ll say is that life is what you make of it. It’s up to you to decide whether life is inherently meaningless and chaotic, or whether there is meaning and order to the chaos that is life.

An existentialist author is someone who writes about characters navigating the meaninglessness of the chaos that is life, and who seek to give meaning and purpose to said chaos.

On the other end of the spectrum you have nihilism--the belief that life is meaningless.

SO... if Gege was feeling pretty nihilistic on the day he came up with Megumi’s death and the JJK ending, then we can expect that Megumi’s death is indeed anticlimactic like a certain someone’s death...

Not sure if you read my response to Recurring Anon about JJK’s writing in which I confess that I am not a fan of Chainsaw Man’s brand of existentialism because it feels a bit too much on the “navel gazing” end of the existential spectrum, and anti-climatic to boot because it’s nihilistic at the core.

Similarly, CLAMP’s writing is also existential, anti-climatic, and can err on the nihilist end of the spectrum too. i.e. I understand that the art style and overall lack of screen tones in xxxHolic is meant to reflect and evoke a sense of vacancy and emptiness because that is how the mc experiences the world. Something like that.

My other beloved existentialist is Shinichiro Watanabe who will shred your heart to bits and pieces with inconclusive but optimistic existential angst.  

Bang. See you space cowboy.

You can watch a Watanabe ending and walk away both heartbroken and inspired. The man is a genius. 

I bring up all of these examples because you can more or less organize these authors into neat little boxes.

If I had to compare mangaka, I’d say Fujimoto and CLAMP are nihilists, whereas Gege is more like Watanabe, an existentialist who chooses to give meaning. That’s why Gege’s character’s deaths have always felt very poetic despite how brutal they can be--there’s meaning to them.

Megumi’s “death” in the larger JJK-scheme of things, with the rather limited information we have right now, feels nihilistic af. 

So let’s assume for a minute that he doesn’t come back... like yeah, I’m in denial and cautiously optimistic, but we have to prepare for the worst because Gege is unpredictable af and I wouldn’t put it past him to have killed Megumi because that’s how he rolls. SO...

If Megumi doesn’t come back, what meaning will Gege give to Megumi’s death?

How will the events that follow create meaning around Megumi’s death?

I think what worries me right now is that Megumi has a bit of a nihilistic view of life. And if Gege is the kind of author who lets the characters write themselves because he wants his characters to be true to their nature, then... this death is fitting. It’s just as meaningless as Megumi believes the world to be.

Makes sense, right?

Honestly, existentialism is hard to explain, so hopefully this makes sense. But right now any mental gymnastics I do to delude myself that Megumi is getting out alive all hinge on Gege being a tortured existentialist who seeks to give meaning.

After all, as a piece of literature, JJK is underscored with a sense of poetic justice that is everything but devoid of meaning.

So basically yeah... This is the tiny bit of positivity I was able to share with you? :') Hopefully it helps!

idk what kind of ending we’ll get. I am picturing something very meta from Gege but don’t ask me to elaborate. I just feel like something very spiritual and big is coming.

But I do hope we get a Watanabe type ending from Gege...

Because the truth is... I don’t believe in happy endings. I believe in Watanabe endings because Watanabe endings capture the existential dread at the core of life simply moving on, with or without you.

And if the ending turns out to be super meaningless and nihilistic, know that there’s only 5k miles between Los Angeles and Tokyo and if we start swimming now we might arrive by the time JJK ends. 

Thanks for stopping by!!!

#ask the mental gymnastics anime girl #this got existential real quick #god I love jujutsu kaisen #fushiguro megumi lovers unite

[sayakxmi]

[Magi reread] Night 13: Magician of World Creation

I should, once again, go the fuck to sleep, but, like. One more chapter.

You're a lazy, spoiled piece of shit of a person who believes that just because you're rich or whatever-the-fuck-else, then suddenly the world owes you something.

Oh my sweet summer child. (Also, trying to recognize Aladdin's silhouette).

Rest in pieces.

Ok, but can we, like, fucking talk for a second that ALIBABA FUCKING DODGED MORGIANA'S KICK. Like, how fast was that kick. Was she, like, going a bit slower, because she didn't want to kill him? Because, like, we know she doesn't, but also holy shit. What are these reflexes, Alibaba. Fr tho, she definitely wasn't going all out, but still.

Oh, drop that smile, asshole. You did literally nothing.

Also, I lowkey recall something about Ohtaka saying that Morgiana wears no underwear, and I am incapable of not thinking about it seeing this pose.

An attempt is being made.

Ok, Alibaba can pull tricks here and there, but he looks genuine here, and I actually believe that he is. Like, Balbadd was notably that one country (sans Sindria) where slavery was illegal, so for Alibaba slavery wasn't an everyday thing until he had to run from Balbadd. Like, don't get me wrong, he's absolutely trying to appeal to Morgiana, because she's dangerous, but he means it when he says that she should fight for her freedom, and we know he wouldn't use her, period. He tried to use Aladdin, and look what happened - total failure, because he just isn't the type of person that's capable of using others.

You tried, gold star.

Damn, Alibaba is just never living his best life. Also, you ever think how most Households don't like or are a literal danger to their Kings?

Also, now I'm kind of wondering, cuz I don't recall whether Morgiana's ever apologized for it. Like, don't get me wrong, I don't blame her, and I know neither would Alibaba, he's ridiculously forgiving, but, like, I wonder if she felt bad later on. Probably? To both Alibaba and Aladdin, honestly, though Aladdin, too, definitely doesn't blame her. But, like, I just wonder.

Can somebody, please, punch Jamil 2.0.

Man, I could use some Alibaba Angst rn, but, sadly, I'd have to write it myself. But oh well. But also, damn, that's a lot of blood.

Also, no, he doesn't think he can use her, because he has no intention of using her, fuck off.

Is Alibaba's blood literally splattering here

Congrats, you literally kicked a guy who was already down - no thanks to you, might I add.

I really wish Morgiana's trauma had a bit more focus, ngl.

Everybody's lives are sad as shit. But goddammit.

The boy has awoken.

Fuck the both of you, actually - Aladdin, probably.

Alibaba, after being thrown onto a stone pillar by a Fanalis, and then kicked several times by that one asshole, to the point of splattering his blood on the guy's face: I'm ok, you be careful :) (I love him)

Morgiana still processing what happened (fair). And Alibaba, that is the definition of not being ok.

Birbs.

Also, no, seriously, I legit need some fanfic of the three of them kinda processing what happened there, but, like, in hindsight. When it was happening it was all scary and very tense and all that, but once things are calmer, just kinda looking back at the shit that happened there.

More birds, and also Alibaba, you are NOT ok.

Firs of all, Jamil's about to be fucking surprsied. Second of all, damn, Alibaba, you were hit damn hard.

It's been several pages & bro still can't stand up. Which makes perfect sense, but damn.

Hell yeah, fuck his shit up.

What can I say except !!!!!!!!!!

The fuck do you mean photo limit. I had to delete two photos to fit the remaining ones.

Ok, but Aladdin looks like a badass here.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

#saya's magi reread #magi #alibaba saluja #aladdin #morgiana

[daryldixonsdoormat]

A little mini prompt of Eddie Munson because I’m on my way back from vacation. (First person POV) I might add more to this later.

Everyone has seen the news, myself included. My boyfriend of a year is wanted for the murder of Chrissy. Me and Eddie haven’t been involved with cheerleaders or anyone outside of our group, with the expectation of drug deals. Which I assumed was the beginning of Eddies disappearance as well. My heart plummeted when I watched the news, like a drank poison only it would kill me slowly. Time flies when your hurting, I was more than confused when people are banging on my front door. I swing open the door stopping Dustin mid knock with strucken looks on his face. I sigh heavily pinching the bridge of my nose looking at the boy, “if your here to tell me about Eddie, I already know. Ok?”. Dustin shakes his head vigorously, he tells me to put some shoes on. I look past Dustin and see Steve Harrington and a girl I soon find out is Robin. They just nod comforting this is something serious that I need to be apart of. I throw on some tennis shoes and wipe any dry tears from the face and walk out the door. I sit in the middle of the backseat while Dustin sits on the right beside me and Max (who waited in the car) on the left, spitting information at me. And I only repeat what caught my attention, “ok ok so your telling me. Eddie is in danger because some supernatural being framed him for murder”. Dustin furrows his eyebrows ready to disagree with my choice of words but Steve interrupts him with the wave of his hand. “Yes something like that. We need your help finding him” Steve says looking at me through rearview mirror. I nod and tell Steve what street to turn on next. The boat house is where I assumed he would be after hearing the basketball team came by to pay him a visit. All 5 of us fan out observing the area looking for any evidence that Eddie was here. While I was distracted Steve and Dustin are looking at the tarp on the boat. Steve picks up the oar and starts poking harshly at what’s under the tarp. Dustin starts warning Steve, “You know if Eddie is under there and you hurt him by shoving that oar into his side… Y/n is gonna be pissed”. Steve stops poking at the tarp and turns to Dustin annoyed, “yea well she’s not-”. In one swift motion Eddie jumps up from the tarp pinning Steve to the wall hanging onto his collar with a broken bottle to his throat. The whole group gasps at the scene unsure of what to do. Steve tries to look down at the bottle that was threatening his life, but Eddie talking diverts his attention. “Where the fuck is she?” Eddie pulls Steve forwards a little bit by the collar before pushing him back into the wall to prove his seriousnesses. “Who? W-Who are you talking about man?” Steve says looking over Eddie’s shoulder towards us. “Y/n. I will ask one more time. Where is she?”. Steve gulps slowly still trying to peer down at the bottle. I push Dustin behind me and walk a few steps towards the situation. “Steve drop the Oar please.” I say looking at Steve cautious, Eddie tenses up at my voice and lowers the bottle a little. I continue directing the boys away from each other as smoothly as possible. “Eddie can you drop the bottle and let go of Steve? please?”. Eddie loosens his grip on Steve and steps away from him also dropping the broken bottle on the floor. Steve slips away from the wall as quickly as possible still thinking it’s possible for Eddie to change his mind. Eddies finger nails are digging indents into his palms from how hard he is clenching his hands together. I tell everyone to get out and give us some privacy and they all allowed this with no argument. I walked up to him immediately and threw my arms around his neck inching our bodies as close as possible. Eddie gets the comfort and breakdown he deserves, he hugs my waist meaningfully sniffling. His hands grip onto the fabric of my shirt sobbing in hysterics begging me to understand. I just comfort Eddie telling him, “I know you didn’t do it Eddie. It’s ok”.

#Eddie Munson x reader #eddie Munson x y/n #eddie Munson x you #eddie Munson x me #Eddie Munson #eddie Munson my beloved #rail me please I’m begging

[malinastharlock]

Malina Reviews Diablo 4

Okay so I am a fan of Blizzard's games and have been since I first played The Lost Vikings and the original Warcraft. So of course I'm going to pick up the new Diablo 4 game and okay the fuck out of it. I've grown used to games having a few glitches and maybe some bugs here and there but omg this is stupid. I have always held Blizzard to a higher standard than other big game companies cuz they only make like 4 titles and they normally go hard as fuck on them and release something amazing. I will not just sit here and bash a game just because a few bugs either but, Oh My Fucking Cthulhu! This is shit! It's a sparklie fun steaming pile of shit, but still shit. So from here I'm going to break down this steaming pile.

1. THE STORY

::SPOILERS ALERT::

The story is basically like any other Diablo game you are the glorified custodian of a war between good and evil and you're just basically cleaning up the crap fest that they leave behind although this time they change it up with the story of Lilith, a demon who got tired of all the bullshit between the forces of good and evil and decides to do her own thing, she found herself an angel who was also tired of the war too, and both decided to make a nice home have some kids but then baby daddy was like naw fuck this shit, I don't want these kids being so powerful that they could destroy me or heaven. So bro bounced and locked her ass up and decided these kids are mine and I'm gonna make sure they never live up to their potential. Mommy got released from the slammer and decided to go on a revenge kick and whoop the shit out of her baby daddy, while also trying to empower her children, but some of her kids are like, "Naw we like being bitches.", so decided to be punk ass bitches and kill her.

Now me personally, I didn't like it at all. I found myself rooting for Lilith and wishing she won but ::SPOILER ALERT:: she doesn't. No instead she get offed and much like the other day SX ma kina evils can't I don't think she can actually die, but who knows, we might see her later on sometime, much like how he ended up seeing Mephisto again. Yeah, Blizzard made sure to plug as much of Diablo 2 into this Diablo 4 game as a possibly, cuz you know, got to milk that franchise and all that. I will give them props. On one thing, there were several instances in this game where I actually ended up crying, because I was like, "Why? Why did you kill that character you fucker? I liked that one."

I did, however, find a lot more enjoyment out of the side quests in the game, which there are plenty of. There were actually a few side quests that really got me and made me cringe a little. Cringe, as in, Great Cthulhu, that is gross! Still not that bad. I enjoy gross sometimes.

2. The Gameplay

🤢🤮🤮🤮🤧

I am sorry you got to give me a second, sometimes when I think about the gameplay it makes you want to puke.

Ok, so normally, blizzard is known for releasing beautiful games. They release games that are good, they look good, they play good, their story is at least adequate, however, I can't say the same for this one. I don't know what happened, and I don't know where they drop the ball. I mean, its still plays like your normal dungeon runner. I really don't know where they went wrong or where to even start, so here's a try.

They brought several elements from Diablo and mortal into the game that I don't mind. It makes it more fun in multiplayer, since if I really wanted to do multiplayer, which is not what I normally like to do with Diablo games. Seriously it's all multiplayer now. 🤢🤮 I really don't think they play tested this game enough because the overwhelming amount of glitches I have found in this game is astonishing for blizzard game. That's not even the worst part. They make you so underpowered at the beginning that everything is a struggle. Unless you run through the entire game and collect every single Lilith statue, you can find then you'll become OP in the game feels like an normal Diablo game. Oh, and collecting all the Lilith statues is pretty dag-on hard unless you get your horse, which you won't get until after act 3, then running all over the ginormous freaking world map that they are creating and probably plan on creating more of sanctuary to go with it as time goes on, or they end up scrapping the whole thing because they screwed up so bad to begin with. Knowing Blizzard, they might do that. I'm seriously starting to think that blizzard is becoming as bad as Netflix, but that's a gripe for another time.

Another huge problem, I see with this right now is the grind after you hit level 50. From level 50 to 100, you have to grind and grind and grind, and it is so tedious, that after reaching level 60, I was like, fuck this I'm out. I'm not out out but I am definitely not going to waste all my time grinding to 100.

As much as I seem to like the horse on the console version, there seems to be a huge problem with the horse just going in general. Like you, you click on the horse and it just stops or it's super slow, and you end up getting hit by all the creatures you're trying to run from or you're just, what is the word I'm thinking of? inconvenienced in a way that it's really irritating.

The Butcher

So like how I said they make you very underpowered and very challenging, I don't mind a good challenge, but when you're getting wrecked by everything when you first start playing your favorite class from the other several games, you can't help but get really frustrated with Diablo 4. Like when you first run into The Butcher and you are running around very underpowered and then he proceeds to makes you his bitch. That really sucks.

3. Graphics

The graphics in this game are actually really beautiful. I love the cut scenes, I love what they've done, blizzard has really come a long way, and it shows. I really do love the fact that they have a giant open world to run around in, and the events that they do are really fun, I love the particle effects. I love that they put so much effort into it, but I also think they could have done more with that least the character creation, but that has nothing do with graphics.

#Youtube #diablo 4 #diablo #game review #gaming #xbox #pc #blizzard

[mira--mira]

um, *pokes head in* to be completely honest I had completely dropped out of the Naruto fandom, but then I saw your post and like flashbacks.

Seriously tho, is it weird to say I love you for writing this fic, because I think I do, it's so fantastic and amazing and the fact that you didn't just drop it after so long is so sweet and impressive and I just honestly have no words.

Holy crap this fic is amazing!

Honestly in hindsight I kinda feel bad for dumping a mini essay on you for a prompt, but my goodness you did an absolutely phenomenal job with it, literally better than anything I could've dreamed of.

I love how much world building and so many details you managed to incorporate, from the actual explanations to subtle details like the way Hashirama speaks to Madara and the acknowledge it's just all so incredible!

Also love the way you incorporated the beginnings of their crush relationship with each other with the way Hashirama's POV describes Madara's appearance!

I just there's so many lil details that I just love and honestly could ramble on about forever, but I feel like that might make this too repetitive so imma leave a list of some of my fave things about this fic!

Hashirama's slow and reverent monologue about the elegance and power of fairies, only for Madara to punch a box.

The first time Hashirama saw Madara's face was a smile

The contract being a stone that you need to chisel (reminds me of the Uchiha stone tablet)

the non human-ness to fairies (god I love it when they're humanoid but not human, even when in human form, just the fact they're slightly off in a way that you can't quite pinpoint, gods I live for that)

The fact that's it's implied that they dragged Ashura to the fairy realm to kill him, that it took some kind of sacrifice on their end for either a fairy to take a human into the fey realm or to break the contract. Just the fact that its shrouded in mystery, despite having details on it.

why would Ashura destroy the info on fairies, even before his death, as if he knew something about fairies that he didn't want other's to know and deliberately sabotaged the chances for his descendants to contract with fairies.

The fairy world politics and how all fairies, not just Uchiha learned from this incident.

The way Madara's super cool fight scene ends with him yelling at a tree

4 wingsssssss

The lil magic effect descriptions

Just like Madara's whole vibe. He's just like this set of contradictions. Prideful yet honest, ruthless but sympathetic, inexperienced but powerful and like the subtle mystery of why he was held back by his family despite being so powerful.

and of course the star of the show Hashirama. I love the fact that you did an adult take on the character, since so many Hashimada have their first meeting as children. The fact that they're both adults with experience and burdens make their relationship so much more meaningful since it's less of children having fun, but rather adults knowing the risks of their relationships but doing it anyways. He's older and more jaded but still has hope for the world. Not in a blindly optimistic way, he'll do what it takes to achieve his goal, but he doesn't relish the bloodshed.

I mean I just happy wiggles, I just don't know what too say it's just so incredible and amazing and I love it so much!

Thank you so so very much! This absolutely made my day!

haha I'm so glad you like it anon! I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get to it, I'm incredibly happy to know it ended up being something you enjoyed 🥰🥰

It took me a long time to try and think of an opening and how to format the fic without it becoming a monster (too many fics of mine lately have gotten away from me 😅) but in the end I particularly enjoyed it myself, esp. Hashirama in the box haha.

Thank you for coming back after all this time to tell me your thoughts! I really appreciate it 💖

#asks #anon #hashimada anniversary fics

[temporalbystander]

Okay. I've put it off too long for the people that actually care. After the cut is Cat Walker's POV.

Oh and FYI, there is one other story I regretted not writing. Where Faybon goes off at Marc and Nathaniel over their comic. It was in response to a story I can't remember the name of where they killed off Chat Noir in the comic and seriously upset Marinette. Needless to say, as I was still in my salt mood, it pissed me right off.

Anyway, on to the story.

Adrien had no idea why he was doing this. He'd told Ladybug he would give the ring back to Chat Noir after dropping the latest Akuma victim off at his home, it was nice to know she wanted him back but he couldn't help but think how much tonight had proved his point. Cat Walker had only been a distraction and Ladybug had been more than capable of taking care of everything, even without the rest of the team. Maybe that's why he had ended up coming this way.

"Hello? Cat Walker? You still there?"

Adrien shook his head to rid himself of his thoughts. Right, Faybon had asked what Plagg had said. Clearing his throat and composing himself, he began to speak as politely as he could. "He mentioned how you were often a great source of comfort to Chat Noir when it came to his hero duties and his civilian life. I was hoping you might deign to give me your opinion before I hand back the ring." There, that sounded good right? It was the truth after all.

Then Faybon scoffed and Cat Walker had to readjust his form to hide his shock and hurt. He needn't have bothered though, Faybon had yet to open his eyes. "Yeah I'm a great source of comfort alright." He muttered, disdain clear in his voice. "That's why he saw fit to renounce the miraculous in the first place without so much as a warning. Only for you to get it, Mr. Perfect."

Now Adrien was getting very uncomfortable, he was beginning to realise how bad an idea this actually was. Still, he had to stick to the script in case Ladybug asked any questions. "All I know is that I was the other choice, besides I'd hardly call myself perfect, all I did was get in the way." He gave a small shrug only to be completely ignored as the other boy still hadn't opened his eyes.

Just when he was considering leaving Faybon spoke up again. "So, what did you want my opinion on? For Plagg to recommend talking to me it must be something big." Still no eye contact, he'd have to come back as Chat Noir and apologise if he'd upset him this much.

"I was wondering what you thought about the increase in heroes and Chat Noir's place in it all." He started slowly trying his best to word this as vaguely as possible. "Seeing as I completely failed in the task tonight it's quite obvious that it's more than just the miraculous that's important." Another scoff was the reply.

"Man I was right to hate you." Faybon said with a shake of his head. He opened his eyes briefly to shoot a glare Adrien's way before closing them and settling back down onto the tiles. "If you really thought that it was just the miraculous that was important then you clearly don't think too much of Ladybug." Before he could argue Faybon spoke over him. "After all, the only reason she still holds the earrings is because she has the experience with them. If Chat Noir had given his ring up earlier? She'd have given the earrings up as well."

Not knowing what to say to that Cat Walker sat down, being sure to give Faybon more than enough room. "I can see how you might get that impression." He started after a while. "And the other heroes?" Maybe it was best to move on from the topic for now.

"Are both a necessity and a hindrance." That was not the response he was expecting. "Do you know who any of them are in their civilian life?" Faybon asked instead.

Adrien froze, now very thankful that his friend has barely looked at him, sure he knew some of them from the Miracle Queen incident but he couldn't tell Faybon that. "Of course not. I only just got Plagg today." He said instead, hoping his shock would be interpreted as a result of the question and not because of the lie.

"ShadowMoth does." Faybon carried on, again not paying much attention to what Car Walker was saying. "Yet Ladybug keeps giving them back despite how big a risk it is." He opened his eyes again and turned the glare back on the "replacement" black cat. "Do you know why she does it? Why, despite having been involved in 90% of the akumas that required a new hero, I was never chosen?"

Adrien could only shake his head in response, was this why Faybon was upset? Because he'd never been given a miraculous? Or was it because he thought he was the next best choice for Plagg? He did have more experience with the baton then anyone else besides Cat Noir himself. It made sense. "I only just became a holder, I don't know how things work." Truthfully he wasn't sure he knew how ladybug worked recently either.

"Because it's easier that way." Came the stiff response from his friend, who still hadn't opened his eyes. "Being the guardian, looking after the kwamis, figuring out the grimoire, plus an even greater reason to recover the peacock and butterfly Miraculous? Her stress is through the roof. Then you have the duties as Ladybug and having to keep it a secret while dealing with her civilian problems." Faybon shook his head and let out a weary sigh. "She gives them back the Miraculous because it's easier than trying to find new holders, wait for them to figure out their powers and hope they'll give them back without a fuss." Opening his eyes he glared at Cat Walker again. "And then you had to go and make it ten times worse by putting on that stupid mask."

He couldn't argue with that point, he had seen how put off Ladybug had been simply by his being there, desperately trying to include him so he wouldn't leave like Chat Noir did. "And what about you?" He decided to ask instead. Faybon hadn't mentioned the reasoning behind him not getting a miraculous.

This time the other teen actually laughed, though it was lacking most of the humour Adrien had associated with his friend. "Because I'm yet another source of stress she needs to deal with." He muttered derisively. "If she spent any more time around me than she already does she's scared I'll figure out her identity." Faybon gave another sad sounding chuckle. "I offered her the chance to avoid that, to not talk to me at all, but with what I know already and my emotional state being what it is, she keeps stopping by from time to time to make sure I'm not considering an akumatisation as the answer to my problems."

This was something Adrien had never heard before, from Faybon or his lady. Even outside the mask the other boy had never even hinted that something was bothering him. Definitely not to the point where Ladybug felt the need to check up on him. Was he really that bad a friend to miss something like this? Unfortunately, Cat Walker had no reason to say what he wanted to, so he could only backtrack on their conversation. "Well, you have my word that I'll never wear this mask again. Chat Noir will return to being the only holder from now on."

"Then why not take it off now?" The question stunned him. Sure Faybon had been around when he'd detransformed before, he'd wanted to talk to Plagg and had gone out of his way to make sure he couldn't see anything when Chat Noir had said the phrase, but this was beyond that. He was asking him to reveal his identity, to ensure that he never wore the miraculous again. If he did that then surely Faybon would get suspicious when he ran out during akumas?

And yet... If he did it, maybe his friend would feel better about opening up to him? Knowing that they shared at least some secrets in regards to the Miraculous. Before he could second guess himself, he said it. "Claws in." Just like that he was sitting on the hard tiles exposed to the cold night air as the magic washed over him.

"You kid, are an idiot." Plagg wasted no time in telling him what he thought of this stunt but Adrien only wanted to know what Faybon's reaction was. Turning to look at the one who had asked him to remove the mask he was shocked to see that his friend hadn't opened his eyes at all. Instead he'd just pulled his regular snack box out of his pocket and set it down between the two of them, nudging it closer towards Adrien when he didn't do anything.

Feeling even more confused now, the exposed super hero picked up the box and slowly opened it. Inside was some cheese for the gluttonous kwami and a cupcake, presumably for himself. "Faybon?" Adrien spoke the name softly into the night air as he picked up the treat, Plagg had wasted no time diving for the cheese.

What was going on here? Did he already know his identity? Adrien couldn't recall ever telling Faybon about wanting cupcakes before, in fact the only time he'd ever mentioned the treat was on one of their previous rooftop talks but that would mean... "I already have one friend who is forced to put on a mask of perfection in his day to day life." The other teen seemed to confirm his thoughts as he spoke. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't know when another did the same thing?"

There really was no point arguing. At least now he knew why Faybon wanted the mask off so badly, and why he still refused to look. "How'd you know?" Adrien asked as he bit into the gift he'd been given, strawberry wasn't his first choice but it's not like he'd ever mentioned his favourite flavour before. He also didn't feel the need to worry about his friend recognising his voice, after all it had never been an issue before.

"I've spoken to the previous guardian remember?" Was the clever teen's answer. "And, while it may have been briefer than the time I've spoken to Plagg, both conversations were enough to tell me one simple thing." Pausing, Faybon seemed to wait for either Adrien or Plagg to say something, or maybe just finish eating. When nothing happened he continued. "You are the only holder either of those two would have ever picked." He gave a shrug and almost seemed to relax a bit. "Besides, your costume and manner may be different, but you still showed way to much experience using the miraculous. Not to mention you bow the same way."

"I see." He wasn't sure what to say in response to that. He knew Faybon was observant but this had the potential to be worrisome. At least it was only the familiarity with the Miraculous that clued him in, the young model would just have to ensure he never bowed in front of his friend and he should be fine. It was a good thing he'd made those actions over the top on purpose. That did lead to some uncomfortable realisations though. "Do you really hate me?" He asked after a moment, feeling thankful that his kwami had disappeared to eat his cheese in peace.

Faybon just let out another sigh. "After you left the ring behind LB came to me, desperate for me to get the ring back to you." Adrien felt like a dagger was plunged into his heart at the pain in Faybon's voice as the other recalled what happened. "I told her that this must have wanted nothing to do with the Miraculous anymore." Faybon took another deep breath and kept talking. "I couldn't tell her how being Chat Noir meant everything to you, that it was your favourite thing, the freedom, the responsibility, her." He shook his head and kept going. "She was so close to breaking already, if I'd told her that one overstressed moment from her had caused you to abandon something you loved so much? ShadowMoth would have won."

Adrien thought he couldn't feel any worse, but his friend wasn't done yet. "Then you show up as Cat Walker, all prim and proper, trying to be everything LB seemingly wanted in a partner. Trying to be Mr Perfect, shutting down all your feelings just so you could be near her." The anger was returning to Faybon's voice and it was clearly a struggle for him to keep his voice low. "Tell me Chaton. What the hell is the point of having so many masks if you can't be yourself under any of them?"

Despite it being a question Adrien knew he shouldn't answer. Faybon was right, being Chat Noir was the only way he could relax sometimes. He had so many masks, so many secrets, so many facets of his life he kept compartmentalized so that he wasn't overwhelmed. He had to follow a strict routine at home and while modelling, with his friends he had to be careful that nothing negative got back to his father, and even when he was Chat casually he couldn't relax lest he let something slip that Shadow Moth could use against him. Cat Walker was just another mask he had to wear, this one for the benefit of Plagg and Ladybug. "Plagg claws on."

There was a brief cry of dismay as the kwami was pulled into the ring and the transformation took place. Only once the magic had faded did Faybon open his eyes to see that it was Chat Noir there and not Cat Walker. If he approved of the change he didn't say anything. Chat left shortly afterwards, the conversation stalled and awkward after it had hit a little too close to both of them. Adrien may have gone there to figure out where he stood with Ladybug, which was answered by what Faybon revealed, but he had learned one other thing as well. He wasn't the only one with multiple masks, he just had to hope that at least one of them allowed his friend to feel as free as being Chat Noir did.

#mlb fanfic #my writing #cat walker #ml oc #miraculous oc #faybon Tules