#going into this im not even totally sure what im gonna end up talking abt so tw for like everything. sui sh csa etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sun-stricken · 3 months

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Avatar knew nothing about devil slayers so Gray decides to do more research on his own (his previous research was stopped because of the mission)(AU Julia didn’t follow him and make them share a house). When ft gets back together he decides to ask Levy if the council had any information, but gets nothing. He asks Freed and even goes to saber to ask Rufus. Nothing.

On one of their missions together, Rogue asks how Gray is doing, because Rufus had mentioned he had visited. This prompts Gardel to remember Levy asking him if he remembers the council having any information about devil slayers. Laxus remembers a comment from Freed about his frustration towards lack of information about rarer types of magic. Together (mainly Wendy and Rogue) they put together that maybe Gray isn’t as sure about his magic as he seems.

No one’s heard of it + received from his reanimated father + had for only a year + not his original magic + played it up in a dark guild + absorbed a curse = lost and confused fledgling devil slayer. But just to be sure, they have a period of ‘Gray watch’ to try and confirm their suspicions. Gray watch= subtle (or unsubtle depending on the slayer) watching and questions. Gray’s probably confused, but it’s fairy tail so he’s not too concerned (plus the dragons have done weird things before).

Bonus: Gray being jealous of the slayers all having each other and hanging out, but with their weird behaviour starts to believe he’s dodged a bullet.

Thoughts? Would love to hear your ideas

firstly, anon, thank you for giving me an excuse to talk abt Gray + Dragon slayers again, second, im gonna take this and run

i love the idea of the dragons being protective/taking Gray under their wing so to speak, and i love the idea of them scrambling to try and help him in some way even more

Rogue, even though he technically set off everything, actually didnt know much other than what he observed himself, when Rufus told him Gray stopped by but didnt stay to chat with him or Sting (or Frosch!) he tried to ‘subtly’ interrogate Rufus

Rufus figured out what he was doing and shut him down, saying to ask Gray himself and that it wasnt his business to tell

Although, Rogue also saw Rufus carrying a book on different slayer magic types so he hazarded a couple guesses

When he does set it all off its like their collective braincell goes into overdrive

they dont all figure it put right away, its post mission that they discuss what they know

‘Gray Watch’ as you so beautifully put it, is their clumsy attempt at sussing out info and to help him

Gray noticed something was up fairly quick because, while they were trying, subtly isnt exactly their forte

he first noticed because Natsu was actively trying to get closer and the conversations he started didnt end up in fights

At first when all the questions started he just thought they were curious because he was another slayer, and when most of their questions ended in his lack of answers he thoight they would just stop and go back to normal but they didnt

They just kept coming, if they were asking questions they were giving advice, or even complimenting his new magic and how fast he figured it out

While the Dragons think hes totally lost and confused, he isnt really, Grays used to having to adapt quickly and at least it was ice devil slayer magic, he gets the big picture and the dynamics of it but he just doesnt know what the hell it is? and why isnt there any information on it?

Gray ends up convinced theyre all infected with some sort of virus, a virus that apparently makes them really social, with.. just him? (hes still working on the theory)

Their advice is kinda a hit or miss, they only know the stuff they found out pertaining to Dragon Slayers, and they assume what works for them will work for him too, sometimes it does but a lot of the time it doesnt

Dragon and Devil slayer magic, while under the same subtype of magic, are very different, but they dont have the resources to know that outright

other tidbits my brain came up with

Dragon slayers specifically have a naturally high metabolism and appetite

they assume thats its the same for Gray, Natsu told Mira to start adding extras to his plate when he eats at the guild, and also started offering the snacks he eats during the day

Gajeel would try to inconspicuously ask Levy abt dif slayer type and she happily did even though she knew exactly what was doing

Sting started to pester Rufus for any info on Devil Slayers constantly, while Rogue actually looked himself, they actually went to magic experts and various libraries around town and on jobs when they took them out of town

got a whole lot of nothing

When someone or Gray said anything about Devil Slayers you could literally hear their brains working in overtime while they listened

they probably took notes or something

Wendy would often ask Gray how he was doing with his new physical and mental changes and give tips on what she does when she got overwhelmed with all the sudden alterations to her person, which really confused him bc he hadnt noticed much actually changing about himself

Anything Laxus figured out himself he would relay to Freed to tell Gray, hes gotta keep up his persona hes got goin on yk?

Slayers in general have heightened senses AND emotions

Dragon Slayers, and slayers in general but its most extreme/prominent in the Dragons, have highly protective tendencies.

Devil Slayers have slight possessive traits and jealousy issues, again, slayers in general have this but its more prominent in Devil Slayers,

that being said, Gray being a slayer now means he wanted to spend more time with the others so he didnt try to stop the uptake in attention they were giving him. But since they had the plan to help him they were also spending a lot of time together, which in turn made him feel jealous and upset as if they were ignoring him

But as time went on and the dragons were getting more desperate for info Gray started believing that they were all crazy or sick

actual pictures of the Dragons trying to solve Gray

sorry its short! i didnt want to keep you waiting any longer🙏

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fatuismooches · 5 months

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FUCK I TOTALLY FORGOT TO SEND YOU AN ASK ABOUT THE FIC... i just got hit full force but like 89831 different fucking projects all at once MY BAD POOKIE BUT UGHHHHHHH oh my god.... part 2??? yes.. all of it is soooo YESS

YESS you visualized everything what you've been talking about how reader would react when they first wake up after centuries and honestly hella realistic EVEN THOUGH I JUST WANNA HOLD READER AND KISS THEIR FOREHEAD 😭😭😭

reader interacting with the segments has my HEARTTT oh my god.. especially omega.. he's SUCH A DEVIOUS MOTHERFUCKEGUJK,,, also reader naming the segments UGHHH i adore that idea so much pleaseee ,, i love how the segments who didn't give a shit suddenly changed their minds when reader said they wanna give them names... THE SWITCH UP AND THE IMMEDIATE DENIAL...

READER MEETING BABY ZANDY ,,, FUCKINGG hell got me sooo soft i wanna hold baby zandy and treat him soo nicely 🥹🥹

ALSO YESS omgg,,, this part has me sooo fucking soft like reader making friends??? with the other harbingers??? i love it... omg they'd be such good besties with columbina,, i think pantalone helps reader adjust to present time as well, especially with it comes with money or the economy (if you ever ask him about it)

but oh.... to top it all off nicely, you gotta sneak in some subtle angst!!! smh... (im so proud of you tho!! like yasss sis feed me sad shit >:333) poor scara and reader :( i think they would've gotten along if reader wasn't dottore's lover n' scara wasn't dottore's experiment ,,,

ALL IN ALL. fuck you pookie im not excited for the next two parts (im kidding I AM IM JUST... NOT READY... pleas epost it next year so i'll be ready enough thank you /jjj) NO SERIOUSLY THIS TIME,, THIS WAS SOOO GOOOD and i love it so much, really popped off honestly (evil laughs because it's dottore)... like im soo happy to see how much you've grown esp thru writing !!!

have a good day pookie, im going back to my grave where i died for the next few days 💗💗

ALSO I WAS GONNA SEND IN ANOTHER DOTTORE IDEA but i fucking forgot again. FUCKS SAKE i hate not writing shit down...

POOKS DONT EVEN WORRY!! Just make sure to take care of yourself ok?? School can really be an ass i understand-

BUT OMG GRENFRG AHHH YOU'RE MAKING ME SMILE TOO MUCH POOKIE AHHWQ I'm so happy you liked it 🥺 BUT NGL I WANNA GIVE READER THE BIGGEST HUG TOO 😭 i put them through too much don't i 😭 dw they will be getting Dottore comfort next chapter!!

Bro i love writing Omega as a devious mf so much 😭 IM SO GLAD U LIKED THAT PART BC I WAS GIGGLING TO MYSELF ABT HOW THEY DGAF ABT THINGS BUT THEN SUDDENLY THEYRE INTERESTED WHEN UR A PART OF IT

AND YESSSS READER MAKING FRIENDS RAHHHH that part was probably really long for a Dottore fic but. i feel like having friends is so important and fragile reader really deserve some niceness in their lives 🥺 AND OMG NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT. Fragile reader would be freaking blown away from inflation. i don't know how prices were four hundred years ago but they would probably be shocked to their core when they see how much expensive things are now?? imagine fragile reader trying to stop Dottore from buying things for them because of how expensive things are now, and they're having flashbacks to being a broke Akademiya student 😭 And Dottore is just honestly finding it amusing to see you freak out and beg him to save his money (it's okay, he's a Harbinger he's loaded) (as long as he's not spending it on experiments)

BUT YEAH MAYBE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE... reader and Scara could have been friends :( we'll never know... but yasss i will continue to feed you sad shit >:) hehe I CANT WAIT TO POST THE FINAL PART!! ngl the ending of the fic was like. the first thing i wrote for it because it hit me and i was like i CANT forget this. im telling you pookie its gonna be pretty juicy. BUT THANK YOU YOU'RE BEING SO KIND AHHH it's really sweet of you. thank you for being here for so long in my writing journey (and my descent into Dottore madness) ily 🥺

#smooches talks #moots: kai <3 #kai u should see my drafts. theres a bunch with just one sentence i quickly typed so i don't forget my ideas 😭#giving my biggest hug to u kai #mwah mwah I MISSED U #and literally baby zandy is the cutest person ever i want to give him piggy back rides #oh my gosh i love brainrotting with u

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threehuskiesinatrenchcoat · 7 months

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Hey I just thought of something 🤭

Ok so what if Graves and Alejandro had met before but like younger like 15 years old Alejandro Mets Graves (also 15 years old) when Graves’s family is on vacation in Las Almas and Phillip is like Alejandro’s bisexual awakening and he tries to talk to him, but his English is kind of bad so he can’t really talk properly but Phillip can understand him perfectly but his vacation is up but they always send letters to each other until they both join the military and lose contact with each other until the game they meet again and Alejandro is talking to Rudy about how he looks familiar (same thing, vice versa but with Graves’s shadows 🤭)

im sniffing around in very old asks that i forgot about during my months long disappearance (i died and came back wrong) and found this and even tho it's REALLY late i still wanted to post this i like the way you think.

i can just imagine how awkward they are (like teenagers generally are) (especially queer teenagers) trying to navigate whatever it is. ohhh he's so cool i hope we get to hang out more and watch the sunset and maybe hold hands a little huh why? no reason. alejandro leaning hard into learning english, definitely not to be able to talk to the pretty boy he met and doesn't have a crush on. religiously keeping up with the letters, sending each other gifts and fun trinkets. graves going through a tough time in his twenties and them joining military, and alejandro is so bummed out that they stopped talking and graves doesn't write back. writing his newly created email in the last letter, just in case, and, well, moving it to digital would be faster and convenient, right? nothing ever comes of it, though (graves didn't even get it - he doesn't live at that address anymore).

so there's this very familiar looking guy and he's not sure if it really actually could be _the_ guy, but he's not sure he should ask what if it's like creepy and how's he gonna go about it like "hey by any chance didn't you have a pen pal in late 90s" and rudy is so done with it like dude it's not weird just ASK, but what if he specifically didn't want to talk to him anymore that would be so _Awkward_ and-

and graves definitely knows it's his alejandro, he just feels too guilty for what he's about to do to bring it up and give him hope. couldn't resist putting my trans hcs into this but i put it under the cut

alejandro not recognizing him because he deadass just doesn't know how he looks like. vaguely familiar yeah but it's not like he can roll up and ASK about stuff like that. of course he knew abt him being trans, he told him himself in a very personal and emotional letter a couple years after they met (and several more after that, because ale had questions and no one else to ask). also i think the top tier wholesome comedy is him taking the info like "i guess im bi then lol" totally chill like nah nah ur good i gotta figure out stuff about MYSELF now he's not even sure he knows the name he settled on in the end. which is also why he didn't even know where to start searching if he decided to (maybe he just didn't want to have a relationship anymore and he shouldn't bother him?)

#call of duty #phillip graves #alejandro vargas #alegraves #no content and no time to draw be making me desperate enough to put my hcs on tumblr dot com again

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sungbeam · 8 months

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beam! not sure if you’ve done this but can you ship your moots??? with any of the groups you stan and why!

omg i think i once did something,, kind of similar?? but let's give it a go !!

@justalildumpling — okay i would give her sunwoo 💀 but i think she needs a jaemin in her life to balance out the delulu skcnekfbkdnfk they would be such an attractive couple tho im YELLING like,,, bro. i would actually fund the wedding ring. and he kinda feels like the my melody to her kuromi low-key 😭 like he would just love squishing her cheeks and kissing her

@jaehunnyy — ofc none other than jung wooyoung 😋 i mean,, who else yk 💁🏻‍♀️ they're both so silly and wholesome, and just their vibes match? both very cheery, sunny people, what can i say ✨ THE TYPE WHO ENDS UP W TWO KIDS, A GOLDEN RETRIEVER, AND A PRETTY HOUSE—

@mosviqu — the cali boy himself, eric sohn. as she says all the time, she is the bi black cat girl to his golden retriever, he is the skater boy of her dreams, just.... the vibes are so real, my friends, they should be spending midnights together holding hands and kissing under streetlights !! california boy, when r u gonna wine and dine her fr

@winterchimez — lee sangyeon, there is no doubt and no other answer?? my Mom and Dad™, if they get a divorce then i would be collateral damage. but i actually envisioned ally as sangyeon's type 😭😭 like that's not even a joke. the idea i had for his yn in liu is LITERALLY ALLY IRL. IM NOT EVEN KIDDING THAT SHITS CRAZY

@ethereal-engene — ash needs to be w woozi bc yk that thing where couples kind of look alike 💀 NO BUT this is good bc the first time i saw ash, i said she looked exactly like uji they both are so SKFNEKFJ anyways,, i feel like they'd be able to encourage and appreciate each other a lot :') idk ash and jihoon r both some of my comfort people, and i think that pair would work so well

@zzoguri — jacobie bae hehe !!! who else tbh like they both are such comfort-driven people. mon is such a hard worker and juggling so much at once all the time, and i just know that he would be the bestest boyfriend in the world, and would give them all the encouragement AND support to chase their ambitions yk. and the fact that mon appreciates music :')) and they would just bond over his pj karaoke

@loveliestfelix — our smexy daniel choi yeonjun !! okay i feel like every time i talk abt these two, i always say they would be the HOTTEST COUPLE EVER, and i am not kidding. this is the most serious i have ever been. she would so fit as his secret gf who the public can't even be mad at cuz she's so funny, gorgeous, and mad talented like—

@goldenhypen — jake sim 😌✨ okay ik this is like cheating, but but but think abt it 😭 jake is totally the type to just be sooo obsessed w his girl and just wanna shower her w affection, and i think it's only fair cuz em loves him sm too :')) like omg i could see them as the couple u see who loves holding hands and just,,, even just smiling at each other (´Д⊂ヽ

@hqrana — i think noa needs to be w hoshi 😭😭 like the vibes of both of them are sooo chaotic, but in the best way possible. like i can't even explain it—maybe it's the wolverine edit of him she made once—but she seems like he would put up w his crazy bs and still love him; like the cool gf w the loser bf 💀 sorry i really just clowned him HAHA

@tranquilpetrichor — choi san low-key 👀 like eris gives black cat girl vibes TT and ik that san also gives me black cat boy too, but i think it would work so well. like they're both SOOO cool, like the chillest people ever, but also so well-intentioned. and they would be the type of couple who have a softer, quieter kind of love, but still something i would throw myself over a cliff for

#sungbeam strikes again #moot ❧#lovely anon <3 #ask games !!

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flanklurker · 2 years

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Hello !! I ADORE your work, and I was wondering if I could request a Yoru x F!Healer!Reader with some Hurt/Comfort ?? I have this idea where : Yoru and Reader have a similar relationship as him and Phoenix (very competitive) but maybe they get into a petty argument and Yoru ofc is really cold and mean and says something totally out of line a few days before a mission (maybe Abt how she's no one's first pick when getting healed) ?? The rest of the protocol can feel the tension but don't say anything when they get to the mission location ; Eventually our team wins but as Reader does one last sweep of the area alone she finds Mirror!Yoru in bad condition, and they sort of come to an agreement that Reader will heal him (bc she can't stand to see him hurt even though she's upset w him) and then they will never speak of this again ?? Maybe some small talk and Mirror!Yoru is being surprisingly nice and gives her advice on how to approach Yoru... Once they part ways and Reader gets back to base, it slips out what happened as she's talking with Mirror!Yoru and instead of being really angry, Yoru is confused and is like "Why would you heal him / me, after all that mean shit I said to you ? Wouldn't I be the last person you look for? " and they eventually make up- bc I JUST KNOW Yoru has a hard time coming to terms with the fact people genuinely care Abt him. IM SO SORRY IF THIS IS A LOT / NOT ANYTHING YOUD WANT TO WRITE !! THANK YOU EITHER WAY <3

This prompt brought me so much joy, I’m an absolute slut for hurt/comfort pump that shit straight into my veins. Hope you like~

Yoru x Fem!Healer!Reader: Kiss and make up

Yoru wasn’t usually this pissy. Like,, you get it. He has a reputation to uphold as a hypercompetitive, cool bastard. Sure.

But making such a big deal out of not being selected for the mission to Portugal in Omega? It was clearly hitting him hard.

“Awww Yoru, don’t be such a buzzkill,” Phoenix calls over the milk jug. “Like, you know we have multiple teams right? Like, they need you for icebox. No one else can fuck around with the enemy’s intel on the ground like you can my guy.”

Yoru’s eyebrow twitches and his hands fiddle idly with the spoon in his hand. “What’s it to you, fire boy? You can barely last ten seconds when you get going, I’m surprised they’d take you anywhere.”

Phoenix lets out a low whistle. “Someone’s got his cranky pants on this morning hey.” He turns to you with a pointed look. “Good luck with that one.”

You clap Phoenix on the shoulder as he heads out from the table, and settle down next to Yoru, who maintains a stony silence.

“Yoooooru,” you call gently. He shifts with irritation, jabbing his spoon back into the cereal with a wet thunk. “Hey there, how ya doing hotshot?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather girl.”

Ah, it was gonna be like that, huh.

You take a mouthful, and nonchalantly ask: “hey, you looking forward to icebox? I hear they have some pretty good recreation activities for team bonding~”

His grip tightens further. Yep, definitely pissy about it.

You continue, innocently enough: “I for one am looking forward to checking out the geodome on Omega and testing out these sweet kicks Neon got me. Thoughts?”

You gently nudge his foot under the table. A vein pops in his forehead.

“At least I’m not a pity pick, you shady bitch.”

“Hoooo~? What’s that supposed to mean, Mr Sunshine?”

“I mean I just think it’s interesting that you’re supposed to be a healer but they also had to send Sage along.” He toes the ground and prods at his food without taking any.

“Uhhh, congrats Yoru, she’s the one person here that can bring people back from the dead.”

“Yeah, she’s actually helpful when she heals. Plus she doesn’t nag.”

Okay, you were starting to get a little irritated now.

“Dude, if you stopped getting yourself into stupid situations maybe I wouldn’t have to literally tell you what to do as much. I don’t think this is a me thing.”

“Keep telling yourself that Miss Nurse. But at the end of the day if I was stuck on a mission with someone annoying, I’d want them to at least be able to bring me back to life.”

Dude, fuck this guy.

“Welp, I’ll let Sage know then,” you say, rising abruptly from your seat. “On the mission, today. That Brim didn’t put you on.”

“See you later then, Miss MVP,” he sings back at you. You ignore the bait and stalk out.

Yoru maintains a cold smile as you leave, but it’s pushed out through gritted teeth and feigned apathy.

---

As much as this mission should have you on edge, you can’t quite process the gravity of the task for all the ruminating you’ve been doing. Why did it get under your skin so much when Yoru got like this?

It wasn’t like the other agents ever through shade on your abilities—quite the opposite. Very quickly after joining, you were put on a lot of the most demanding missions alongside all the high flyers. They’ve only ever had words of praise and gratitude, and objectively you’ve guided them through many many close calls.

So why did you feel so useless about it?

You try your best to shake yourself out of it as Brim gives the lowdown. Sova, Sage and Phoenix all stand, varying degrees of agitated as you went over the plan for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

You of course have familiarised yourself with the brief well in advance, but it looks like this time even Phoenix is giving his undivided attention to Brim.

The task is simple. Split your forces and push through B-site. Destroy enemy utility as you find it, wait for smokes and neutralise anything and anyone in your path.

As you start prepping your guns, Phoenix drifts over to fix up his frenzy next to you. Preoccupied in your own thoughts, you don’t notice till he gently shoulder chucks you.

You turn around with a ‘hmm?’ and for a moment it looks like he wants to say something. But then Brim starts issuing start-up commands and the moment passes. He heads back to join Sage at the entrance to mid.

You grit your teeth, and ready your rifle. No do-overs. Just guns up and go.

---

The attack goes… better than expected. Between you and Sage, you manage to keep any injuries on the crew to a minimum. Sova’s recon is on point, Phoenix creates space and Brim makes the right calls to keep you on track.

Eventually you stand, bloodied, sweating and alive in the middle of site. Sage tends to a couple of bullet holes in Brim’s shoulder, Phoenix is brushing the soot off his shoulder.

You clock Sova limping over to Brim, looking fairly haggard and favouring his left ankle. You get the sense this was a big fight for him even after a sleepless night. You can see him gesturing out to the entrances to site, and Brim pursing his lips in thought, clearly weighing something over. God. The man doesn’t rest.

You weigh up your options and sigh, eventually going over to put a gentle hand on Sova’s back, careful to avoid the deep gash in his right shoulder.

“C’mon owl boy, I’ve still got some recon stuff up my sleeve. Let me handle this one yeah?”

Sova’s noises of protest are quickly cut off as Brim chimes in: “That’d be great actually, kid. Just a regular sweep, and Kay/0’s on radar in case anything big comes up.” He shoots you a grateful look.

You can see Sova mulling things over, before eventually he accedes to Brim’s command. “Stay safe, dove.”

“You know me,” you call back over your shoulder, reloading your ammo and adjusting your straps. “If trouble finds me, she runs.”

You set to work, clearing area by area. You marvel at the architecture, embedded with radianite that now lays dormant in the walls and balustrades. Most of the technology resembles yours, but occasionally you come across wirings and contraptions that you haven’t seen back on your home world, even in Killjoy’s lab.

May as well snap a few pictures then. You’re sure she and Cypher would appreciate a couple of schematics.

Poised with your phone in hand, a very subtle shift from the corner of the room sets your hairs on end. Shit. You were pretty sure the team had cleared everything, but what if…?

Better safe than sorry. Taking a deep breath in, you send a warm pulse of energy out into the aether, seeing what pings.

One life form. Faint.

You swear under your breath and creep forward. You’re generally pretty quiet but you weren’t exactly operating on the basis that someone would be around to hear you when you started live-blogging your whereabouts. As you round the corner, you find a bloodied form, eyes very much open and staring at you.

Ugh. Of course it had to be him.

The mirror Yoru looks under you and mutters something you can just make out to be… ‘Fuck me. Really? Her?’

“Hey there pretty boy,” you murmur. He smiles wryly at the nickname, but can’t quite bite back a bloodied cough that wracks his body for a good ten seconds.

“Woah woah woah,” you say, instinct taking over as you crouch beside him and brace his back. He flinches a little at the touch before you snap back and realise that this isn’t your Yoru, this is the enemy. Fuck.

“What, you gonna play around before you kill me,” Yoru grimaces. You draw back, uncertain, and he taps the centre of his forehead. “The you I know would make it quick.”

Oof. Hearing him say that out loud was pretty jarring. You were supposed to kill him. He expected you to.

You swear again, and bend down once more to draw level with him, doing a quick pass over on his injuries. Left to his own devices, he won’t last long. There were enough bullets perforating his chest from his sternum to his kidney that he’d bleed out in minutes. What a way to go.

A thought occurs to you. You haven’t managed to neutralise his Sage. She’s still probably at base—you know your Brim only brings her out when she’s essential on the field, too important to lose to a regular field mission. So no matter what, the man in front of you ends up back at his base eventually.

That settles it.

“Hold still hotshot.”

Not in a position to protest, Yoru can’t do much but sit and try to steady his breathing as you start to pull back his jacket, wincing a little at the extent of the damage. Taking a swab of antiseptic from your pouch, you mutter a quick ‘deep breath, this is gonna hurt like a motherfucker’ before setting to work cleaning the wounds.

Apart from sharp hisses when you remove the little pieces of lead embedded in his tissue, Yoru stays silent through the process, looking away.

Eventually, the wound is tidy enough that you’re able to start the real healing process. Stretching out your fingers, you press the palm of your hand to his side. While he jerks back at the initial contact, the warm waves of energy start to work their magic, reverberating through muscle and tissue and starting to net it back together.

Yoru finally lets out a sigh as in spite of himself, he relaxes into your work. “Ugh, that’s the stuff,” he says, almost to himself. Eventually he ventures: “why are you doing this, mirror girl?”

“Your Sage would bring you back anyway. We might be on opposite teams, but I’m not an asshole. I’d hope my other half would do the same for my colleagues.”

“Hm,” he whistles through his teeth.

“Didn’t expect you to be a fan of my healing though,” you muse.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s stupid. I’m actually a little pissed at your double right now, he was being a real dick talking shit about wanting Sage to heal him instead.” You notice his amused expression. “Sorry.”

To your surprise, he actually laughs at this. “Yeah of course he’d say that. If he’s anything like me he’s a stubborn bastard more keen to score points than to actually tell the truth. Fucking dumbass.”

Well that’s unexpected. “You don’t think… he meant it?”

At this, Yoru scoffs. “God no. In fact, if he has taste like me, he’d take your healing over Sage’s any day. Hers is like. Proficient, right? Technically flawless. But it’s so cold. She’s been at it for a while, and healing is just another obligation for her. You though. Yours is warm. Spreads through you like the heat from one of those old-fashioned light bulbs. And something about the way your power works…”

Here he trails off for a second, noticing how intently you’re listening. “Go on,” you coax, moving your hands down to focus on his ribcage.

“Your healing has a lot of you in it. Any time your mirror—or you actually, now that I think about it—fixes me up, I can feel how much you care about helping me. It’s nice and comforting, like honey, or sunlight on your back or some shit.”

Oh. Okay then.

“Why would you tell me this,” you ask quietly, starting to finish up the process and apply a few rounds of gauze to stabilise the major wounds.

“I want to cause problems for him. It’s funny.” For once, there’s no malice or ego behind his words. It’s nice to see him surprisingly genuine.

You go to shoot back a retort, but the intercom crackles and Brim’s voice comes through. “Command to Patch, status report? It’s been a few.”

Yoru’s eyes flash for a second, suddenly aware of the danger he’s in. He shifts uncomfortably as you take breath before responding, keeping eye contact with the man in front of you.

“All clear Command, I’m returning to base shortly.”

Yoru lets out a low whistle. “Shit, and you could have been a narc about it.”

You give a wry smile. “I suppose you’re right. I’m assuming you’ll leave this off your mission report to Sage?”

He nods.

As you turn to leave, his hand grabs your wrist. “What is it, rift-squawker?”

“Talk to him, patchy. He’s dumb, and the people he likes most are the ones he pushes away the most. He’s terrified to lose them, but he’s even more terrified of things almost working out.”

“I don’t think he’s dumb,” you muse quietly. “But I’ll take your word for it. Take care yeah? Don’t let me have to patch you up again.”

You clap him on his good shoulder and head back to extraction. The last thing you hear from him, almost under his breath, is a quiet ‘maybe there is hope then.’

Whatever that means.

---

Back at base, things are way less tense. Aside from Omega team’s triumph, Icebox was a total wipeout and the team managed to secure valuable intel about the mirror protocol’s next movements.

After dragging your tired bones to the infirmary and having Skye give you a top up, you’re about to hit the sack when a familiar form crosses your path. A lot of your hackles from earlier have gone down, and what the mirror Yoru had said flashes through your mind.

“Yoru!”

He turns around, face surly as ever.

“What is it, healbot? Come to gloat about your victory on the new frontier?”

You push back the instinctual retort, and opt for a more peaceful route. “Eh, the geodome was a bit touristy. I hear Icebox went well though. I don’t know what you did to get Viper commending you, but it sounds like you let ‘em have it.”

Yoru’s a bit caught offguard by your lack of defensiveness, but it doesn’t stop him from shooting back “yeah, turns out not having a healer is no big deal, actually.”

“That’s not what he said,” you muse. That piques his interest.

“Who?”

Oh shit.

“Oh, y’know…” you say evasively, waving your hand.

“Probably Phoenix, he doesn’t know shit.”

Oh? Bet. “Literally you,” you say before you can stop yourself.

That gets his full attention.

“The fuck do you mean me, patchy? I haven’t told you jack shit.”

You shoot a furtive glance around the corridor, and pull him into a small maintenance room shutting the door behind.

“Mirror you, idiot.”

“Where the fuck did you find my bastard clone? Scratch that, how the fuck did you have a full conversation with him?”

Ugh, no going back now. “It was… an arrangement of sorts. He was pretty dinged up and I-“ your voice catches here. “I couldn’t exactly walk past him when he was so hurt.”

“So, what, you healed him with your magic healing powers,” Yoru says incredulously.

“Don’t be mad…”

“Actually?” Yoru’s voice peaks, and you have to shush him, checking the handle.

“Hey if it was you surely you’d want the mirror me to he-“

He cuts you off. “Obviously but why the fuck would you heal me after all the shit I said earlier?”

This catches you off guard. “You… you were hurt, I know I’m not Sage but I thought you’d rather not die.”

“But like I obviously wasn’t serious about the whole healing thing. Wait…” he catches sight of your expression. “You thought I was serious about preferring Sage’s healing to yours?”

“Until he said something about it, Yoru, yeah. It got under my skin.”

He rocks back and puts a hand to his forehead, grimacing. “Shit. God. Fuck. I’m…” He grits his teeth. “I’m sorry. I- yeah that was on me. You know I don’t mean it right?”

Wow. An actual apology from Yoru? The fuck kind of magic did mirror Yoru work?

“Yoru it’s, it’s fine. I guess I put a lot of myself into my healing so it’s a point of pride for me. It kinda sucks when people turn around and say I’m less-than.”

“I know you put a lot of yourself in it,” he says quietly. “That’s… one of the things I really like about your healing. That’s why it’s… my favourite…” That last bit is barely audible.

A bit of a flush of pride starts to prickle your cheeks, though you try your best not to show it. “Yoru, you know you can just say that upfront, right? Like, it’s okay to recognise when you like what other people do.”

“I know. I know, I just-“ He mumbles the next bit. “What if they think I’m stupid for enjoying their help, and what if they don’t think as highly of me?” The light is low, but even so you can see the heat starting to radiate off his face as he gives you this surprising dose of honesty.

“Are you kidding me? You’re one of the best even in the protocol. Insane marksmanship, brilliant record and an amazing knack for getting behind enemy lines. Why would anyone think you’re stupid or not respect you.”

“But,” he sputters out. “I want you in particular to like me and like what I do.” Just as quickly as the words leave his mouth, he clamps his hands over and looks away, very pointedly avoiding eye contact.

Wow. Wow, okay.

“I should go,” he says abruptly, and whirls around to leave. Anticipating the gesture, you catch his wrist and tug him back.

“Yoru you freakin’ dumbass. I think you’re great. You’re one of my favourite people in the protocol, and I like it when you can be honest with me. I think it’s really sweet.”

Without warning, he draws in close, chest going up and down at quite a rate. He really looks like he wants something, wants to say something or do something, and you’re starting to get the sense you know what it is.

Fuck it, worth the risk.

You close the distance and press your lips against his. He goes completely stiff for a second and you almost freak out, worried that you’ve misread the many cues. But then he’s pushing into the kiss hungrily, his hands reaching around and pulling you close, growling at the sensation of finally having you up close.

Every movement you make, he leans into it and responds tenfold, huffing and tugging and trying to hold as much of you as he possibly can.

You both near run out of breath before you finally break, standing there panting and looking at each other. His hair is wild and his eyes are gleaming with no small amount of satisfaction, and maybe even a hint of relief.

He pulls you in close again, this time wrapping his arms around you for a bone-crushing hug. “Your clone is the fucking wing-man of the century,” you murmur into his ear.

Yoru gives a gruff chuckle. “I suppose he is.”

#yoru x reader #valorant yoru #yoru #valorant x reader #hurt/comfort #lozcanons #pls nurture my soul with the angst to happy ending #ugh i loved this concept so much

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sweetblossoms · 1 year

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saw your post abt rapunzel manipulating tim in their convo and god hard agree it Is concerning that so many ppl didn't see it. also crazy to me that ppl are mad at tim and defending rapunzel, saying that they would have taken the book too because tim was being rude etc. to me it seemed that both tim the character and ally the player Wanted to believe that rapunzel wasn't part of the plan and was good but just kind of strange, and both are successfully fooled. tim absolutely fumbles the interaction and ally could have played things better, but rapunzel was so clearly in charge of the conversation, leading him into saying worse and worse things and putting his foot in his mouth while tim was genuinely trying to be nice. tim is awkward and blunt and eccentric with Everyone, it's weird that ppl are saying he was being singularly rude to her or patronizing her or that he deserved to get the book taken. that interaction was clumsy as hell and so many words could have been chosen better but tim so clearly was trying so hard to fix his initial fuck up and be friendly w her in the same weird way he talks to everyone. I don't see how ppl came out of that scene on her side even if tim was a little rude and unfortunate w his word choice, and it's concerning to see ppl being like "ha take that stupid old man!!" abt the book being taken + in defense of a character we met an episode and a half ago and who we have been told outright is an expert at deceiving people. the princesses are so so interesting as characters and the morals going on are complex and that's a whole different conversation, but I feel like no matter whether you love rapunzel or not, ppl should be able to recognize that she was manipulating tim in that moment and taking advantage of his trusting disposition. not trying to start discourse in your ask box ofc!!! I've just seen No One Else express discomfort w rapunzel in that scene

anon this ask has been living in my head rent free since you sent it, i've been stewing over how to respond because y e s. for context, check out this post to save discourse on main (this is about to be a long one of fan critic analysis, get your popcorn and settle in if you wanna read, this is the longest post i've ever made), im gonna put my thoughts and response under a read more, sososo many spoilers under the cut read at your own risk

These were all in the replies and tags and I want to reply to all of them bc they're all worthy of being talked about bc i feel like the majority of the fandom is almost scared to critique?? So like let's talk about it since nobody else seems to be taking this approach from what I can tell (thank you to you anon for being on my side as well as the rest of you who are screaming with me) I will begin by saying that my original post is not critiquing ally the player, or any of the other players. i understand that they were in that dome, filming a session of dungeons and dragons, and improv acting and roleplaying for many hours on end with back to back episodes. i kind of get ally and the rest of the table maybe just wanting to "hope for the best", especially ally as they are quite a "hope for the good in others" type of person. it's frustrating from a viewer perspective sure, but i totally dont blame anyone ever for making a "wrong" or "non-optimal" choice while playing a ttrpg, they just have the misfortune of being filmed while doing so. i myself have made tons of bag fumbles while playing dnd, even when i thought everything through ten times over. so anything i have said or will say forward isn't to put any shouldering on to the people playing these silly storybook characters, like, i Get It

What i do want to critique is the fan response, which is the more worrying one!!! like i said in my original post, i was surprised by my d20 watch buddy having a similar response to ally. the total "oh, maybe she's just quirky bc of the self isolation, maybe she's autism rep" approach. my friend, love her to death, is also one of those "sees the best in others and hope everyone is always aiming to be their best selves" type of person, very similar to ally. i came online after that episode expecting everybody on the fanbase level to be screaming with me in a "i told you so!!" way

instead. i came online and saw people just on the attack and the defense in absolutely skewed ways!! out of NOWHERE, all these fans have come on to post about how "tim was patronizing her, and thats why she stole the book" "wow i would have hated being called girly and honey as well" "wow these conversations really didnt go their way why was tim so mean to her :(" or the opposite of "rapunzel is the evilest person to ever exist bc xyz these princesses are evil villains" or "we need to protect these princesses bc they just didnt know any better uwu"

i feel like, on a fan level, me and you anon (+all these lovely folks in the notes of that post) were the only ones screaming "hold on, that is literally not the same media i just watched"

i've seen before a lot of people be like "wow, media literacy is at an all time low" and i never really understood that until i saw the reactions after that episode. as a fan or viewer watching any media, we have the privilege of seeing more about the media than the people who are creating it. that's the best joy of being a viewer, we get to sit back and spot those foreshadowing moments and bite our nails in suspense when the music goes creepy and see the artwork and overall, we have the privilege of catching vibes that maybe those acting in it do not. this leads to those bonding moments of "i told you so" "wow im biting my nails and pacing" "oh they're gonna REGRET that". and, an "oh my god no no no do not hug her she wants to take your book god now she's feeling you up with her hair she's looking for the book ROLL INITIATIVE!!!!". it leads to glorious moments of ~dramatic irony~, a literary term for literally when something is happening in a story and the readers can catch it, but the protagonist probably didnt bc they're not seeing the full picture. While watching, from my perspective, yeah it was frustrating to watch the player bag fumble turn after turn, but it's a game of dnd, they film so many back to back, they don't get the same experience as us. however.

brennan did a great job at dropping the foreshadowing, to the point of not even so much subtly foreshadowing, he DIRECTLY TOLD THEM rapunzel was a liar and uses her words as knives. like someone pointed out, the players even PAID for that information, with the golden bridle. by the time they met these princesses, they probably knew the most about rapunzel's true nature over all the other princesses, that she uses her charisma to her advantage. the players made their choice to do the diplomatic route, to split up and chat. ally did the right thing for picking rapunzel with tim's 19 charisma stat, it would have been charisma against charisma, and an even playing field for someone they have been explicitly told is a master of words and deceit.

as fans, we've seen these episodes edited and put back to back. clues are lined up in a row. was it frustrating to see ally playing tim in a naïve way? sure. but tim's been pretty naïve this whole time, so you could stack it up to a character choice. what's more frustrating is seeing the responses of viewers being blindsided by the book thieving and chalking it all up to "evil vs good" and rapunzel's choice shaking them to their cores.

by this point in the story, by the time you get to that episode, rapunzel already gave enough bad vibes with the talk of her charismatic deceits and with her hair everywhere spying on them. maybe that last one wasn't explicitly stated, but it was heavily implied to the point of gerard writing the plans on a note instead of wanting them said out loud by elody, a scene that happened way before tim's. by the time we see rapunzel get to the kitchen, she is INSTANTLY catty. someone described her on the post as "eldritch regina george" and. yes. exactly. eldritch regina george. from our privileged spot as a viewer, rapunzel comes in, puts on the fake smile, puts on her fake tone, and says "what are you doing in here? :)". she was already ready to fight timothy. that first sentence was hostile. she was OFFENDED and checking on tim to make sure mother goose wasn't counter-spying. i honestly didnt think that would have to have been explicitly stated, she was in attack mode and plastered the fake smile for a show so that she had the upperhand in the conversation that was about to happen. this is something that fans should have at least caught on to right off the bat, we've been explicitly told that she is fake more than she is honest for the sake of being a "performative person"

the conversation happens, and she starts becoming more verbally hostile. "i dont know, what SHOULD we do hehe. it's ruined now :)" "no use in crying over spilt milk *pours milk with hair on the floor with a smile* oh no :)" "...or if it was on purpose :/ :)" "why dont you go get a mop :)" "i chose to be charming :)"

every sentence she replied with was carefully chosen. as viewers, we can watch brennan's face in full clarity of intimidation. we can have the knowledge that has been provided to not trust rapunzel as she is a charismatic spy who has words for knives. in my opinion, even without those clues before now, her show that she put on in the kitchen should have been enough as is to show that she is acting maliciously and with hostility. the smile is there as to not incite physical violence on tim's part bc then it would make TIM look like the bad guy if he attacked first. by the time she goes in for the hug. im sorry. but ally the player should have caught that, the whole table should have caught that, and-more importantly-the fans should have caught that. we all watched the same thing. we have all been told the same information. to purposefully ignore all of the red flags just to pull a "well tim was kind of mean and patronizing, and rapunzel doesnt have social skills from being locked in a tower, i forgive her, wow i didnt see that coming" is absolutely *batshit*

the lack of people catching on is what concerns me. i've met TONS of people growing up (sorry here, im all for women's wrongs, but mainly cis-girls tbh) who act like rapunzel does. from middle school and high school bullies/mean girls. mean girls at college. from parents or teachers or bosses. from normal adults in my life. they always have the same tone and inflections in the same places. the same faces with the wrinkled nose. the same sickly sweet smile. brennan played rapunzel, a known manipulator, perfectly. to a T. he embodied it fully. people JUST LIKE RAPUNZEL walk amongst us every day. i can guarantee you that even these fans that didnt catch it have met people like rapunzel in their own lives.

rapunzel is a character yes, but she is a character that mimics a masterclass manipulator. she IS the mean girl, the regina george. it leaked out of her every word, tone, and inflection. every single thing told about her and shown was, in no world, some "uwu the sweet bean was locked in a tower and doesnt have social skills". that was her origin, her start point. just like sleeping beauty locked in a castle, snow locked in her coffin. rapunzel directly says "i chose to be charming. :)." she had her origin of no social skills, her sad origin of being locked in isolation in her tower, and said "this is my greatest flaw, so i am going to dedicate my life to improving this skill bc it's what stopping me from achieving my goals." she trained her social skills to be good. too good. so good that she hopes nobody will catch her sweet charming self in the act of malicious intentions. this. was. directly. stated.

it worries me on a psychological level of the fans. yes it shows a lack of media literacy, something is frustrating on a fan-to-fan level. it shows a lack of ability of critical thinking. it shows a lack of ability to participate in dramatic irony, a necessary literary device to instill tension into a horror campaign. but also, and to what is probably my main point in this novel long hot take: it has real world implications. mean girls like rapunzel are a guarantee in life. i'm sorry, but it's true. maybe the person acts differently, maybe they aren't as obvious or more obvious. but these people walk amongst us. they use the same tone and same cadence to their words. these manipulators see what they want, and devise a way to convince the person into giving them what they want. rapunzel did not use the Charm Person spell, or the Friendship spell. She used. her words. like a normal human being. and by doing so, we as the fans were able to catch on and should have had a moment of "RUN GOOSE, RUN AWAY, NO DONT LET HER HUG YOU". but instead, a lot of people turn a blind eye to these manipulators in their lives. they pull a "aw but they have a tragic backstory, they're just confused and need love :/" "they cant be THAT bad..." they see a sweet little smile on the face and an upticked tone of voice, and go "well, they're playing nice, so now i have to play nice bc otherwise im the bad guy here" which!!! you do not!!

this is exactly how manipulators worm their ways in, this is what ALLOWS manipulation to work in its various forms. it's how people get trapped in abusive relationships. it's how people get scammed. on a personal end, i lived a narcissistic manipulator for a long time growing up, and it was exhausting. once you could put down the rose colored glasses and see right through the act, you notice how every inch of their mannerisms are performative. everything they say and do comes with the caveat of them wanting something from you and are trying to butter you up in the meantime. if you catch and call onto it, they IMMEDIATELY turn on you, they sneer and retreat to their next target who it will fool. the cycle continues, the next target is selected.

on a fan level, if we as fans cannot play into dramatic irony as a practice, if we cannot exit our seats of mind to catch on to those "eldritch regina george" quirks at the bud in a piece of fictional media where the puzzle has been handed on a silver platter, then there is a l o t more work to be done on 1) general media literacy 2) ANY fandom perception on media and 3) general awareness of how to spot and deal with manipulators in real life. if you can't catch on to it in a silly fictional ttrpg media, how do you expect to catch on to it in real life? how many of these same fans are trapped in manipulative relationships around them? how many more will they fall for bc of the "oh no but they have tragic backstory so it's forgiven uwu"? as fans, you cant sit there in the same breath saying that tim was condescending to rapunzel and then follow it up with not noticing what was ACTUALLY happening in real time. if you wanna say that rapunzel was ALLOWED to be a manipulator because of her origin, what other manipulators are you defending in your real life? how many of these manipulators continue their tricks BECAUSE they know naïve people exist and will fall for it? how many have been enabled in the same cycle bc it worked on one so it'll work on the next?

i wish i had a fun way to conclude this absolutely massive chunk of fandom critique gibberish, but i just dont. i wish i could find a more comprehensive way to scream about this, so take this post as me SCREAMING about this, anon my dm's are open if we wanna rant some more

#i havent entered fandom discourse in awhile in ANY fandom but this one has been bothering me so fucking much #tldr anon my messages are open if you wanna scream with me some more #anon #ask #neevrafter spoilers #neverafter #d20 #dimension 20 #d20 spoilers

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slvt4tom · 17 days

Text

Tom x f! Reader

Okay so I was listening to music and thought abt what to write since I haven't wrote something like this in FOREVER and I'm sorry but here's this

I'm still working on the other one..

Don't mind the fact it's been like a month or more.. Shhh

Y - you

T - tom

F - friend

E - ex (e/n ex name)

Warnings - a little angst

🎀🎀🎀

It was a very dark and gloomy day today and on top of it all ur boyfriend of 7 years just broke up with u today.. So you were walking around crying ur arms crossed over ur stomach basically bawling ur eyes out, u had accidentally bumped into someone so u look up to say sorry and ur eyes are met with beautiful dark brown ones, ur jaw basically dropped the tears turning into just clear stains on ur face and pretty quickly due to the wind tom had noticed but didnt say anything because he didnt know you (yet)

Y - ".. S.. Sorry"

? - "it's okay beautiful"

Your face was such a bright red it wasn't even funny maybe it was love at first sight? You hadn't realized who it was at first but then you took a few steps back and saw it was...

Y - "AREU TOM FREAKING KAUL-"

u get cut off by tom smacking a hand over your mouth making ur eyes go wide and you let out muffled screams but he told you to shh

T - "shh im not gonna hurt u princess, i just need u to quiet down so people dont notice me"

you had quieted down once he started talking and you just nod ur head as he takes his hand off ur mouth he had also asked if you wanted to go home with him, you said yes and he opened up his passenger seat for you to get in next to him. you guys had been talking for a while now outside, in his car on the way home, in his drive way, inside his house.

so i guess thats how you ended up here, cuddling the man of your dreams while watching a movie slowly but surely falling asleep in his soft warm touch, him playing with ur hair pulling u closer and closer by the second not wanting to let go.

the next morning was a whole different story!

u had woke up to the sound of stuff being slammed down, you went to check the time on ur phone and noticed messages spammed all the way down ur phone

"E/N💗 99+ messages"

U heard a big *THUMP* and got out of Tom's bed and went down stairs trying to find ur way to his kitchen once u did u went over to him wrapping ur arms around his shoulders from the top leaning ur head on his back.

Y - "hey are u alright? There's a lot of banging.."

He turned around taking your hands off him putting them at your side and turning back around.

T - "...who is that's guy texting ur phone.."

Y - "huh what are you talking about"

T - "that.. That guy who keeps spamming ur phone.. Are you dating him."

Ur eyes widened and the realization u felt horrible u had totally forgot to change his name in ur contacts after u guys broke up, so you took about an hour or so talking to tom telling him the whole story making sure not to leave out any details even though you guys weren't dating or anything you just wanted to reassure him so nothing got bad before it even started.

After a while of you guys like talking and becoming really good friends he asked u to start dating and obviously u said yes! You guys mad so many great memories over the years and hod so much fun, even when u guys fought you would take a break and then talk it out.

Such a cute healthy relationship!

🎀🎀🎀

Umm okay I got lazy towards the end and it's rushed because I feel I need to get something out so enjoy this pls!

#bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schäfer #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz smut #tom kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #tokio hotel x reader

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theclosetedskeleton · 8 months

Note

UHHH UMM IM NOT SURE WHAT TO ASK AS FOR CHNT THINGS BUT FEEL FREE TO INFODUMP/RANT (HEADCANONS, FAVORITE EPISODES, ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!)<33

YAYAYAY ALRIGHT !!!

Hmmmm I need to listen to chnt in like one sitting someday so i can say what ALL of my favorite episodes are but some of them are

Episode 3 (i think that episode is just sydney and the late night/evening/ghost recorder announcement thingys (I could be wrong about what episode 3 is abt though bc when I was trying to relisten to chnt at 3am today I realized I didnt reset some of the episodes so some of them started playing in the middle or the end))

Episode 5 - The part where sydney makes jedidiah do the opposite day announcements is so fucking funny to me and jedidiah is so me for that like he asked "how granular are you supposed to be about this" and tbh that would totally be something I'd ask

okay theres a huge gap here bc i forgot a lot of the middle episodes 💔 but 100% the episodes where soren appears because i feel like there werent enough episodes with him speaking I really do hope he appears in s2 for longer amounts of time

Episode 24 - A mediation session episode!!!!!! this episodes pretty nice its with sydney salem and jedidiah, everytime I hear jedidah say "I dont see you as a nuisance, sydney." and then sydney goes "or a thing to avoid?" I can imagine jedidiahs argument failing and giving up like that one ant image

Episode 27 - the clock of meantime the clock of MEANTIME THE CLOCK OF MEANTIME THE

By far one of my favorite episodes, i may be biased bc jedidiahs my favorite character and he talks a lot in that episode but the entire episode the part were sydney talks and then it goes to jedidiah and in general minus the part where elijah shows up the episode is like amazing I could listen to it over and over i think i listened to it like 8 times i forgot !!! but like its getting to the point where I can recite certain parts of the episode off of memory

Episode 30 - that mediation session with joshua, yvonne and jedidiah is so funny to me, I like all of the mediation session episodes but this one has got to be my favorite mediation session episode

ALSO episode uhh was it 32 or 33/34??? whatever the ending episode is where jedidiah finds out that elijah is the elephant man, also jedidiahs use of magic intrigues me, I hope we get to figure out more of that in s2

OKAY NOW FOR RANDOM RAMBLINGS!!!!!!!!!

S2 IS GONNA COME OUT IN LIKE A FEW MONTHS IM SO FUCKING EXCITED FOR THAT EAHGHRWJ

i wonder what jedidiahs is gonna sound like since nicholas belov left the chnt project

praying in s2 we get to hear more of soren ✊✊ also maybe like characters like fennel and warren + juno

ALSO up and adam!!!! hes kinda silly (I say this as hes a fucking auto cannibal)

OKAY UHH SOME HCS I HAVE BC I COULD KEEP GOING BUT LIKE I HAVE TO GO SOON AND THIS POST WOULD BE LIKE THE LENGTH OF THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE

i am fighting DEMONS not to hc sydney & jedidiah as transmasc aroace and in a qpr THE PROJECTION DEMONS HAVE CAUGHT UP WITH ME ISTG

ALSO I think i hc soren as ftm because why the FUCK NOT

NOBODY IS CISHET IN CHNT (minus lucille 🤨😒/LH) LIKE IF YOURE THERE AND YOURE CISHET YOU GET KICKED OUT AND YOU LOOK LIKE THAT ANT IMAGE /J

Obv im joking but that ideas so funny to me

OMAY IM GONNA STOP FOR NOW I COULD GO ON BUT IVE BEEN TYPING FOR 20 MINUTES

#chnt #chnt spoilers #camp here and there #camp here and there spoilers #ch&t #closet rambles again on tumblr

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coyotevallie · 1 year

Note

what do you think jedidiah and yvonne’s friendship would have been like during college, particularly when sydney was comatose?

!!!!!! okay so this one im gonna do less evidence baded more interpretation bc like i think this is something that will be explored more Later so like obviously idk for sure . but from what i understand of how they talk about it it seems like yvonne and jedidiah first came to be friends probably through a good deal of effort on yvonnes part since jeddie obviously was scared of them in the beginning i doubt he was the one initiating the friendship . and i think it seems like they spent a lot of time together since yvonne references trying to bring jedidiah to parties a lot, and i also think it was usually just the two of them since joshua asks if he knows this story (implying theres at least Some yvonne and jeddie stories he doesnt know), yvonne doesnt seem at all as close to sydney as they do to jedidiah, and they dont really seem to have other mutual friends thatr referenced . i think they used to just hang out and play video games and joke around a lot - they strike me as the kind of friends who spend tons of time together and consider each other best friends but dont really emotionally open up to each other that often, just bc both of them seem to struggle with talking about their feelings at times (except w joshua on yvonnes end) and yvonne doesnt seem to know abt how jeddies relationship to sydney reallt works. but i do think jedidiah opens up to yvonne more than most ppl!! theres a bit of evidence for this (yvonne refers to jeddie as not having been Openly stressed out in ages which implies hes been stressed out before in private) and i also just think it makes sense given how willing jeddie is to open up to yvonne. and even if they dont open up as much they still get along well and enjoy each others company!! i think yvonne also helped jedidiah open up somewhat - definitely not Fully obviously but i think they were a large part of jedidiah growing less sheltered, trying new things and generally becoming less of the EXTREMELY sheltered college jeddie thats scared of dyed hair. i think yvonne was a good influence on him, yk? pushed him out of his comfort zone in a way that sydney isnt always able to do necessarily due to the weirdness of their dynamic, sydneys pushes of jeddie to get out of his comfort zone tend to go too far and make jeddie uncomfortable whereas yvonnes seem to do more to be helpful - say what u will abt the skyrim dance scene but he definitely did loosen up and have fun lol

when sydney was comatose is trickier so thisll be more fuzzy since that whole timeline confuses me but based off of what yvonnes said about jedidiahs last year of college . my basic interpretation of yvonne and jedidiahs friendship at that time is that i think jedidiah began to start falling apart at the seams a little bit and began pushing people away and avoiding people and yvonne just sort of backed off a little because they werent totally sure what to do or say . yvonne references wanting to do a better job of helping jedidiah sooner than they did back then and yvonne seems to struggle with communicating with people sometimes - i think they didnt know what to say to jedidiah or how to help, and eventually things got so bad that there was nothing To do to help at all bc things just wouldnt get through to him even if you tried your best to help . i think yvonne and jedidiah largely get along due to their difficulty with emotional expression but i also think that became a major Flaw in their relationship as things went bad becaus i think jeddie couldnt ask for help an dyvonne couldnt bridge the gap

#jedidiah martin #yvonne marley

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yuukei-yikes · 1 year

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do you think shintaka ever sort out their codependency or does it just get worse

*cracks knuckles*

they do sort it out. but it's obviously not super ideal lol

in my sick twisted mind it is all stitched together with the mess of shinaya too. I WANNA WRITE A FIC SO BAD *banging table* i have this very specific relationship hell for shintaro thought out. *scratches head*

i talk a little bit abt it here and i think in other places but heh. honestly when i link to other posts its not rly like begging u to read them its more like a disclaimer that i might repeat myself which honestly i dont mind doing bc im crazy and im gonna talk abt the same things 1 billion times GLADLY. SO... >:3!!!! ITS MY TIME. have fun:

basically. so the usual right, takane feels like if she isnt watching shintaro all the time he could suddenly revert back to being a shut in and shintaro is comfortable having takane because she's familiar and the single constant in this life and all other lives in all other timelines. ene has always been there. takane = ene while a shock, to shintaro he can barely make a big deal out of it after retaining is activated bc he's seen it a million times. of course takane is ene. if anything the one needing closure over this reveal is takane.

i think post str shintaro is incredibly kind to her about it though. i think he feels immensely guilty for route xxx and is able to be openly thankful and they have a tender moment together. i think this single heart to heart changes everything for them. shintaro acts annoyed over takane's clinginess post str but becomes terrified when she's away, and sort of desperately looks for her the same way she does for him essentially reciprocating the sick need of each other, the difference is that he tries acting all cool abt it and making excuses while takane is sort of more direct abt like. HEY ARE U ALIVE??? JUST CHECKING IN LOLLL OK TALK TO U LATER ASSHOLE LOVE UUU!!! while shintaro's like ermmm...i was calling u cuz my comp is acting weird?? idk i tried some stuff but id rather u look at it to make sure. and takanes like LOL

like takane is totally delighted. shintaro isn't resenting her, he's gladly accepting her into his life and treating her like a friend and she KNOWS him so she knows that even if he says he wants her away the way he acts says otherwise. like she can read him like a book there is nothing he can hide from her, takane is able to see everything going on thru his mind. no one but her is more mindful abt everything that retaining eyes implies. maybe ayano, but we know which one shintaro is more comfortable about HEH. the fact takane is so direct about knowing about it and how hard it must be is also immensely comforting to shintaro (AGAIN ayano also does this but ayano is scary to shintaro) shintaro reciprocates takane's need for him again bc she is familiar and a comfortable constant but also because she is taking care of feeling all the heavy things for him. shintaro is desperate to stop feeling and takane is desperate to ignore her own feelings. but it doesn't REALLY work. shintaro still feels sad and broken and terrified. and takane still feels overwhelmed and in disbelief and unsure about everything. does this make sense.

takane's thing is like... okay erm. let's put takane under the microscope for a single moment. I'll try not to go TOO crazy.

ok. disclaimer. i could get very fun and nitty gritty abt the misogyny in takane's writing, how all her povs revolve solely around haruka & shintaro and essentially ends up being a female character who revolves everything around 2 guys, if not one the other and etc. but. i will not do that. i will just mention it there in passing and do what u do with it lol. that aside, basically takane is the kind of person who desperately focuses on worrying about someone else so she doesn't have to think of herself and her own problems.

takane is dealing with... a lot. because she had given up on life. well life gave up on her rather. she was dead you know. she decides to dedicate herself to shintaro and shintaro alone. her purpose was being company for him and keep him moving. and all of a sudden she finds herself alive and having to face the life she unwillingly left behind, and everything that comes with that like. having a body, being honest with haruka, accepting her illness is a part of her, etc. i think takane deals with a lot of existential crisis LMAOO like she CANNOT BELIEVE she is real. she has 1 line saying she felt like the whole time she was ene felt like a dream and it felt like a relief to hear shintaro talk to her as takane because it made her see it really happened. and i took this line and RAN WITH IT‼️‼️‼️

shintaro needs to be needed by takane and takane needs to be needed by shintaro. lol. they got 30 mental illnesses💗 but the thing is. one has retaining and the other doesn't 💥

their relationships to haruka & ayano are important in this and play a huge part in it too not only because its REALLY REALLY REALLY funny for takane to ditch haruka all the time to go find shintaro's wallet or something and for shintaro to tell ayano ok u can sleep over tonight i practiced cuddling with takane so im all good to go like that wont make ayano scream in her pillow for the next day. like theyre so sick in the head. but anyways ITS SO mixed in with shinaya's sick as hell relationship that i already wrote like 80 posts about and im not repeating myself im just gonna assume u know what i mean LIKE THIS IS WHY I NEED TO WRITE A FANFIC whatever.

as that happens with shinaya (like actual dumpster fire sirens going off glass breaking trashcan falling over etc) takane has haruka. haruka has his own set of problems feeling not good enough for her + survival guilt (for konoha) + terrified of being alone again. but takane's aware of the codependent issue basically bc haruka keeps telling her even if not as firmly and she would need so it takes longer than ideal. it's like present in her mind that it's a totally fucked up way too feel. also haruka & takane are totally in the same page abt holy shit we're ALIVE?? AND WE HAVE OUR BODIES??? WE HAVE TO FACE OUR LIVES AND MOVE FORWARD?? WE'RE IN OUR TWENTIES??? AUGGHHHH lol they go thru it together MAN I LOVE HARUTAKA sorry im normal. i know jin is allergic to giving takane a problem that isnt related to a guy but to me she also goes thru the same omg im in my twenties thing as haruka. bc like. yeah hiyori and ayano were stuck in the daze too but haruka was also watching everything outside. like takane he was a painful bystander. even if takane's spirit wasnt in the daze she was still playing a sorta similar role outside. like u can watch but u can barely do anything!! because youre DEAD!! haruka&takane understand each other's struggles more than anyone else, and suddenly they're alive and also the oldest in the group and they're like. ok lol. let's fucking go i guess. haruka and takane existentialism crisis crying for 3 hours then having to pull themselves together bc they have to do groceries. the horrors are indescribable but we have to pay rent. i love harutaka *shaking*

and haruka is super comprehensive about takane's thing with shintaro even if it's mixed in with all his feelings of omg takane prefers him omg takane is super best friends with the dan who all probably resent me for replacing konoha omg im gonna be alone augghhh like lol he's GOING THRU IT TOO but!!! takane also helps him!!!!!! theyre there for each other!!! they dont weaponize these things against each other, in fact it brings them closer. total opposite to shintaro and ayano. so takane's getting out of this mindset before shintaro does and she is really self aware and slowly making progress and ermmm becoming a little pissed off abt how he takes her for granted. bc he does.

again. takane is a constant. that means she is always here. in shintaro and takane's relationships it doesnt go both ways how they help each other. they dont help each other, takane helps shintaro and thats it. ene's always been secretive and ene is always been ene and now ene is always been takane and while shintaro knows this he's also never... had takane as takane before? so even if she's familiar and accepting her helicoptering over him, he's also totally preoccupied with all his other issues to even think about takane's side of things. shintaro despite his babygirl tendencies is at the end of the day a very self centered person, its hard for him. i dont mean it to say he sucks or anything. i think its genuinely rly hard for him!! he's going through a lot!! and he's bad with people and words and emotions!! he doesnt... stop being self centered though. not for now at least. and takane isnt exactly begging him to help her or anything because HARUKA is helping her with her issues. while shintaro is trusting everything on takane, and ayano is begging him to open up to her, takane is trusting haruka and continuously lets him help her and also helps him with his stuff. like shinaya and harutaka are dealing with similar situations in TOTALLY different ways

so for shintaro to find out/realise takane is also hurting he's like oh my god im such an ASS because OF COURSE SHE IS!!! but he's like i thought letting her be insane abt me was enough help??? bc AGAIN he hasn't really recognized that it actually goes both ways and he needs her as much as she needs him. it only becomes apparent when takane is needing him less and less bc she's been healing outside of their fucked up dynamic and he's like wait a damn moment???!!!!! so he's like TAKANE why didn't u say anything!!! and takane's like erm idk. it just kinda played out like that it's fine haruka is there for me im working on it and stuff and shintaro is SOOO insane abt it because realising takane's been relying on someone else takes him out of this familiarity and he's like oh my god TAKANE IS ALIVE HARUKA IS ALIVE AYANO IS ALIVE OH MY GOD THEYRE ALL MOVING ON WITHOUT ME OH MY GOD and its so uncomfortable for him. its so uncomfortable to see takane with haruka the same way it makes him uncomfortable to be with ayano because it makes him so painfully aware of like. THIS IS THE GOOD ENDING. yknow.

anyways... shinaya breakup happens lol!!! takane is again here to pick up the pieces. and shintaro is SO broken over this that takane soooorta reverts back bc YIKES HES NOT DOING GOOD. shintaro is clinging on her so bad it makes him look stupid. like i said in the insane shinaya reply. being back to being despaired over ayano and crying on takane is familiar! self sabotage at its finest, its pain that he knows. new things he hasnt seen are terrifying!!! and this way.... takane is away from haruka, rather paying attention to him instead and he is dragging her down with him!!! its awful but its comforting to think for him like YES!!! TAKANE IS ALSO BAD!!! TAKANE IS ALSO STUCK WITH ME!!!! BTW THIS IS ALL ON AN UNCONSCIOUS LEVEL FOR SHINTARO LMAO.

but takane is AWARE... like yeah she gets he's sad over his breakup but takane doesnt TOTALLY revert back. like by this point its been a long time and she's totally aware of their codependency & working on it & already resenting a little how shintaro takes her for granted. and when it's been long enough and shintaro is still pathetically sobbing abt ayano, takane's been back in ene mode trying to distract him and cheer him up like always but she's like. man i have a job to get to. can we wrap this up for today. LOL LIKE takane has a fucking life so even if shintaro's (unconsciously) like omg yess its like it used to be, it isnt because takane has shit to take care of outside of him😭 she can be like. sorry man i gotta go i got a thing with haruka and shintaro's like ???? because... "normally" she would cancel on haruka for him and now she wont and shintaro's like wh??? and maybe he points it out and it REALLY pisses takane off LOLLL

ok so takane ticking time bomb abt to tell shintaro off + shinaya breakup + kanoshin insanity. *rubs hands together* shintaro about to accidentally finish destroying his relationship with takane that's already hanging by a thread. because he's dealing with all the guilt over his breakup with ayano and the newly found kinship with kano(+internalized homophobia) and he's like... so desperate. he's like. ok. there is 1 person in this world who will still have me and make me feel normal abt being this way.

sorry for shipping shintaka and being insane. shintaro wants to date takane. SORRY I KNOW its born from an insane fucked up situation and its truly the last straw for takane because she's like WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUIUUUT WHAT THE HELLLLLL bc shintaro's only going to her bc 1. to make me feel straight 💥 2. to make me feel valid💥💥💥 LIKE HES NOT THINKING OF HER FEELINGS AT ALL and i do think he'd fall for her in a little fucked up way like well idk??? i dont know but i definitely think shintaro&takane feel a very specific way abt each other and in his desperation shintaro decided to call it love LOL. takane would treat it sensibly if SHE DIDNT FUCKING KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON and she sends him to hell for it LOLLLL !!!!! this also distances haruka & shintaro because SHINTARO KNEW haruka is insanely self conscious and insecure and always treated the situation with kid gloves in fear of takane being like lol u dont like me hanging out with shintaro?? bye then. like he knows haruka has always been scared of takane choosing shintaro over him (even if not romantically) and then HE GOES AND DOES THAT AND even someone like haruka is like. bro... because listen by this point!!! haruka and takane have grown A LOT as people and as a couple while shintaro was stuck in this insane quarrel with ayano and himself and has his head so far up his own ass he couldn't see how horrible of an idea it is until he does it and ends up fucking up with friendship with both takane AND haruka. fun

SO............. umm. ur question. yes they do sort it out. shintaro has to grow a lot though. i think its his fallout with takane that is his last straw and he sort of realises he has got to make a change and accept this reality as terrifying as it is. its definitely a quartet fallout too. ofc they makeup!! ofc shintaro apologizes, of course they start talking again (i don't think they'd go long without talking btw i think takane's just like we. need time apart) and ofc they get to a point where the quartet is all together again even if shintaro and ayano are broken up, they get to be on friendly terms after enough time apart, and shintaro and takane can also be normal friends. they are still bestest friends but definitely more proper and shintaro now acts like a person to takane instead of taking her for granted and is there for her like a proper friend would be and etc. ofc it gets to that!!! but lol. isnt it so fun to have a circus first :3

THEY JUST NEED A BIT OF TIME APART..... but they are best of friends. they're one of a kind to each other💗 erm. Hi

#SORRY FOR GOING CRAZY AGAIN. WHATEVER.#ask tag #headcanons #shintaro: quit your job #takane: what #shintaro: break up with your boyfriend move back in with me.#ayashin divorce

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hirokiyuu · 2 years

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Hello I am someone who deeply loves The Twins and Enjoys Talking about The Twins. There just...It's hard to make coherent words but I love how similar the two are, there arcs are sort of reflections of each others and I really love that, also If I'm friends with one twin I have to befriend the author, I just need to be close to the both of them. On more coherent meta stuff I find both twins perspectives on wanting to be something else really interesting. I'm trying to tiptoe the best I can around possible spoilers but I really do love them. There good lads.

SHAKING UR FUCKING HAND

(cut for spoilers!)

i really love how clearly both tang+dys are like........ HEAVILY damaged by their mother's abuse even on a colony where Everyone Is Family! it's really interesting narratively speaking that even in this supposed-to-be perfect experiment already from the start is like....... someone who's damaged these kids so bad for literally the rest of their lives

like tang's constant desire to basically leave her flesh behind....... fear of addiction yet her own obsession w/science......... fixation on chief engineer as a surrogate mother to the point where she rejects her own brother......... and yet when that brother vanishes she's SO messed up by it so clearly like. she's always looking for some kind of affection+love and yet her own fears+coping mechs make it so hard for her to keep it. ive only dated her once but my friend also did and got a dif ending and we both got dumped so honestly like. if she just dumps u ever time u date. narratively perfect

and then on the other side of the coin is dys and like his Total Rejection of all the ppl around him and like........ his belief esp at the start when u approach him that ur just gonna try and make fun of/hurt him. how in every ending ive had w/him he's become a gardener. his overwhelming desire for connection is sooooo fun esp in conjunction w/how he doesnt think he can ever connect with PEOPLE its so good. i love dys i am cupping him in my palms

i havent gotten them to reconcile yet but my friend was saying smth abt how u have to make......... rex's bar???????????? which requires four pets?????????????????????????? idk man im just squinting but im sure ill get there eventually. not next time tho next time i am unfortunately going full fasc*st kill all the aliens run solely to see what its like

if u wanna come off anon and talk to me in private lmk btw. i am clawing at the walls

#my friend drew art for a Certain Lategame Tang Card #and every time i look at it im like Thank You Kolo and put it in my mouth #morally gray wife! morally gray wife!#i was a teenage exocolonist spoilers #asks #anon #teenexo stuff

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deadbeatbunni · 2 years

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A vent, sorry

Today has been hard. I fasted for abt 3 days and then yesterday i had 280 cals, i was planning on abt 400 cals today but i 'binged' and had abt 1000 in total, and i only calling it a binge bc of the way i felt out of control when i was eating. I forget that extreme restriction makes you do this. I ate what would be a small meal for a normal person but my stomach had obviously shrunk and i felt full and sick. However it still just sparked that urge to keep eating, like my body was scared I'd never eat again (considering it tbf lol) I tried to purge but nothing came up bc of the specific foods I ate. I have felt sick for hrs and yet all i can think about is eating a whole pizza!?! Like it would be so hot and salty and cheesy and tasty. But i wont do it. I need to lose 3 lbs in the next week to be at my goal weight for this month and im sure I'll do it. Ive never been this terrified of gaining weight and ive had this disorder for years. i was fine eating this much and a bit more for 3 days in a row last week and somehow today feels like the end of the world

I fucking hate anorexia

Its not fucking fun, i am so ill physically and mentally

And I'm so ill that even though i just went through what caused this, I'm gonna fast tmr to fix the fact that i ate so much today. Because im stupid i guess? Maybe i shouldnt say that, ik its bc of the mental illness. Oh well, i told my boss im sick (not a lie tho) and i have tmr off

Probs gonna cut to get some closure for myself, and I'll try to keep reminding myself that it was OK to eat that food. If dr chris saw my cal intake for today he would tell me off and say its less than a toddler. This is good for my metabolism. I dont wanna go into plateau or that survival mode where some ppl start to gain from fasts. I even had healthy food like protein and fibre rich foods, and fresh veg, and lots of vitamins. I should try to be kind to myself like how I talk to others in this community

Tomorrow is a new day.

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hiraya-rawr · 2 years

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Hi hiraaa! Its coffee anon, its been so long since I’ve last sent an ask but my life has been really hectic and i wasn't really in the right mental state for a while which is why I haven't sent an ask in so long! I’m trying to come back to my usual self and I wanted to let you know that I’m still reading and loving all your works ever since I last sent a message and I think it's about time I sent my gratitude hehe sooo here are my thoughts and all my love on all the works I didn't comment on during my absence, I’m sure I missed a bunch here and there so I hope you can forgive me for that but know that I love everything you write and it brightens my day :DD without further ado, let's start!

From what I remember, the last post I wasnt able to comment on was the last part of I love you so which is such a shame because I was sobbing crying and grinning by the end of it all. I love that you included all the parallels at the beginning because it added just the perfect amount of pain in my heart before even getting started. AND THEN THE DRAMA HIT! I distinctly remember holding back a scream bc i was reading pt 4 at like 2am in the morning and when she ran out in the rain i had to take a breather before I actually burst and THEN DILUC RUNS AFTER HER AND I JUST LOST IT, AAAAAAA WHEN HE WHEN HE WHEN HE JUST im still feeling the tingle of excitement and thrill when reading that part to this day and it just felt like i was there at the time and i honestly started sobbing when he finally confessed bc i was just so happy that THEYRE THERE! THEY FINALLY GOT IT! LIKE YES BESTIES YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! I'm really glad we got to see what happened after but kaeya’s part had me holding in a big sob cause that's my comfort husbando right there, like ilysm kaeya pls im sorry but im just glad the dearest couple finally had there happy ending bc they deserve it and i just love them okay?

The next one seems to be Diluc’s big family 1 but I'm gonna talk abt the whole series here bc i dont want to overshare hehe, for some context i don’t really like kids except for a select few, kids seem to like me well enough but Ive always been a little annoyed with them growing up but this series has me rethinking everything honestly. The first part had me all smiley bc of how sweet it would be to see diluc coming home and just 4 kids hounding him as a welcome touches my heart. Part 2 had me cackling bc i love the reactions of everyone and i can just imagine the overwhelming look of surprise and disbelief on their face when they see the ragvindr family. Then part 3 was just wholesome sweet chaos and a perfect mix of the last two parts AND THE KAEYA APPEARANCE AT THE END? Totally see him doing that i love him sm pls, anyway i love all the kids and i would do anything for them

Up next is another angst with diluc but this time it's with my newest comfort character, ayato. When i first read this one I knew that I was going to be hurt but i did NOT expect it to hit me as hard as it did AHAHAHA when it got to the goodbye part I IMMEDIATELY thought of that scene in little women (i havent watched the movie but ive seen the scene multiple times bc the acting and emotion is just amazing) i was surprised to find out that i was actually right! Anyway, this drabble broke me bc i just know that having this perfect connection but not being able to follow it is so painful for both parties and i cant help but cry for them

The next one is the kid! Kamisato! Reader having a crush on thoma and when I tell you I cackled so hard I might have hit my hand a little bit too hard on my desk. The situation is just so hilarious and I love the idea of young Ayato losing control of his emotions bc his little sister decided that she likes sweet thoma more than him and I cant get his cute little pout out of my head which is why I keep laughing a lot. I actually had a crush who rejected me so gently that we actually became friends after and i liked them more because of how sweet they were honestly so i can totally see thoma as the type to let someone down so nicely that you cant even be sad! The ending made me lose it again though AHAHHAHA the poor boba (1/2) ~coffee anon

I've gatekeeped this ask for a month but NOW THAT I FINALLY KNOW HOW A PERSONAL TAGLIST WORKS (and I have a reblog acc!) I CAN KEEP THIS FOREVER

I cant even begin to believe that you remembered my works and kept comments for them while you were giving yourself some space!! 😭 I'm so glad to hear you're feeling much better now, a hectic life really does take its toll so it's good you're back!! coffee you're literally so sweet im dhjsdhiejdid this is my happy box

#hira love letters #hira coffee #hira replies

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1-800-googleimagesearch · 2 years

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thoughts on the bcs 6B premiere!! spoilers under the cut. like major spoilers its not hiding anything

so holy shit .

this post is rlly just for me! idc if someone else reads it this is so i can discuss somewhere public without spoiling someone

so first off the music was genuinely perfect for every. single. scene. kim driving to gus' house was so good, every scene with lalo had music that suited him so well which is something the show has always been good at, the song when they bury howards body was... such a perfect piece to encapsulate the feelings his death evokes. its beautiful but it also has that touch of somberness to really show just how tragic it is we lost him. plus they buried him with his fuckign MURDERER.. THE WAY they were laying together was so interesting..idk if it was intentional but i loved how they looked

lalo was so intimidating and showed his smarts in this episode like always but fuck. he made possibly his first ever mistake in his ENTIRE run on the show which is incredible! lalo has been so calculated up until his final scene and thats so fitting for him. one smalllllll mistake lead to his demise

speaking of his demise. i loved his death scene. also super fitting

i feel kinda fucked up considering hes responsible for like all my fav characters deaths (even nachos to an extent) but im so sad to see lalo go. im one of those ppl who always hoped he would survive in the end lol. i really really loved his death. i saw someone call it boring but tbh i think there wasnt a better way to send him off. in silence, in the dark, choking on his own blood and with a shit eating grin on his face. he was smug even as he was bested by someone for the smallest mistake on his part. i think some part of him was proud of gus. he recognizes hes won this. THE WINNER TAKES IT ALLLLL

oh and the spotlight on his shoes. for all the girlies who love his dumb fucking shoes YOU GOT FAN SERVICE

love how the episode took place all in one night! also everyone on this GOD DAMN CAST AND CREW better get their well deserved emmys.

i feel like i have more to say but idk.

lalos vlog channel is fucking amazing

i liked how when jimmy knocks the chair over him and howard are in a yin and yang position. theres both good and evil in the both of them, its just that each leans more towards another.

love how lyle was singing a los pollos hermanos version of la cucaracha after lalos death scene! amazing way to both call back to LALO calling jimmy a cockroach and to remind us that jimmy survives every single thing that comes his way, somehow. love mike using his "thats all i know" lie for the first time. love that kim and jimmys twisted fucking lie abt howard currently using cocaine is now going to haunt them for life. they have to paint his final moments as an unhinged addict who killed himself shortly after harrassing them for Totally Doing Nothing Officer!!!! /s they are fucked up and they can never and SHOULD never forgive themselves.

not fully sure who will take that villain role now! first it was the kettlemans, then nacho in a WAY (but we always had sympathy imo) then hector, then lalo and now... who next? maybe its that new character theyve talked abt but its gonna be hard to fill lalos turquoise shoes.

starting to think the south wall was a red herring! maybe it isnt but thats my thoughts because lalo put so much emphasis on it and now hes gone. dead without the one question he couldnt answer lingering in his mind. he saw the lab and still didnt know what the south wall was for. maybe it really is for nothing.

itll be so fucked to watch brba now and know theyre walking over the rotted corpses of lalo and howard, people who will be lost to time and soon forgotten by the masses. i think the final plotline will be watching hhm collapse without its h and m

okay i think thats all my thoughts. have a wonderful night friends!

#starry speaks #bcs #spoilers #you think i know what media analysis is i just want a picture of a hot dog

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deeznussy · 2 years

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SAD SAD RANT/VENT POST </3 (abt one piece obvsly BWNSNEND)

I've realised something fundamentally depressing yet honestly kind of sweet???

basically right,, ya'll know how one piece is coming to its final saga so it'll like end soon (like in 5 years or more but still man), I just came to the realisation that awaiting for new chapters and episodes have become such an essential part of my life that I genuinely don't know what I'll do after one piece ends

CALL ME DRAMATIC BUT THIS IS A GENUINE CRISIS IM HAVING GUYS

I was introduced to it by a friend and I'd binged 1000 episodes in like 3 months to catch up to em and now I wait for new eps every week. This has been a part of my schedule since 25/09/21 (yes i jotted down the date I started one piece call me a dork) so now I feel so genuinely lost that I might not have this cycle anymore in a few years ;-; BUT it's also kinda funky to my short attention-span ass that a single anime about dumb pirates worked it's way so deep into my life in barely a year of viewing

NOW COMES THE SAD SAD SHIT

TW: casual talk abt unaliving and my shitty mental health

(I'm okay btw, I'm slowly but surely working on it :> the mental health system is really fucked so I haven't received any proper professional help but I'm holding onto hope that I'll find a good therapist one day!)

I'm gonna be totally transparent with you guys when I say that since the scene where Luffy puts his hat on Nami, one piece has been the sole motivation of me literally keeping living for a good few months now, sounds pathetic but it's true :,)))

for context: i have had recurring lapses of terrible depressive episodes for a good 7 years now and the only way I've ever been able to stop myself from totally offing myself is to literally stuff myself into my bedding with so many blankets that I cannot move, and even that doesn't work the majority of times and i end up with reminders of these episodes. it's in these times where i genuinely can't find reasons to keep living and it's tiring as it takes up the majority of my days. heck, the only reason I'm still alive now is literally because I don't have the energy to take my own life and it's just too much effort.

that's where one piece comes in

when I started I just thought I'd drop it really fast because I can barely keep up on anime with barely a tenth of one piece's current episode count

but no

one piece somehow stuck with me and became such a fucking stable backing in my life to the point I literally thought of it during one of my bad days once and just burst out crying

i was about to commit sewerslide that day.

i didn't though.

all because I remembered a fucking rubber man wearing a strawhat and that one piece is ongoing so if i died right there and then I'll never see Luffy become the pirate king.

i remembered how he'd counted all the things he still had on his fingers and I'd tried: I shut up my brain for a good minute or so just so I could count the things I hold dear

"my friends, my cats, my sister"

(no matter what my delusional brain said about them not missing me i had to push through, i had two cats to feed and a sister to hug after all.)

only three things I'd counted but that was enough for me to keep living for another month and counting

that's when I realised that i had wanted to be a part of this adventure so badly that my entire life was basically cradled amidst the thought of the series ending, i cried so much that night that I had a raging migraine the next day but I still remember the smile I had on the entire night because I'd finally found something that really kept me going and I knew without a doubt would be there for me at all times

yes, I have friends and I promise you that they are some of the best people I've ever met! but with a brain overworking itself at all times, even the best people cannot drag me out of my own self-loathing and I hate it. i hate that I cannot trust myself nor my friends at all to stay and I hate that I convince myself each and everyday that they'd be better off without me. i want to rely on them so badly because I know they'd be there for me but god it's scary to think they could potentially hate me when they find out how shit my health has gotten

(this is why WCI is so important to me: I see so much of myself in Sanji that he was my least favourite character for ages and even now he's still low on my tierlist solely because he feels too alike to me.)

through everything though, one piece is the only thing which I cannot overthink myself into it not needing me as i may not be necessary as a viewer through the billions of people who also enjoy one piece but it doesn't matter what i am to one piece because

it's important to me

and that's really all that matters in the end.

one piece saved my life multiple times and it's cheesy and cliché but I really do not think I'd be here if I wasn't introduced to one piece.

that's why I'm so upset by the mere thought of one piece ending.

when it does end I will not have an excuse drilled into my brain to keep living anymore and that scares me so bad, my excuse to live won't be able to be "you haven't finished one piece yet so live." anymore

that's so so scary to even consider.

I still have bad days nowadays ofc but I now have a stable backing to fall into when I know it's getting bad but when one piece ceases to continue I'll have to face my bad days like before I got into one piece and thats not something I think I can handle, i can't handle change this big.

but hey

it's still a long while for one piece to end so

I'll wait it out til then.

as much as i am a pessimist I want to be able to die without regrets (haha one piece reference) and not finishing one piece will be such a big regret it's insane

so, what I'm trying to say is, wait it out with me guys :)) we must see through to Luffy becoming the pirate king!

and maybe by then we'll have more stable backings to fall into for support and more fingers to put down when counting what we have

and maybe by then we'll all be a bit older and a bit more wise too

only the future will tell.

(okay but side notes: if anyone actually bothered to read all of this, you're an absolute legend and I hope you find your own one piece one day as cringe as that is AHAHAHAHA, kudos to you reader! have a great day :>> )

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