Hellooooo, recently followed your blog and have been doing some light stalking (not weird I promise) and I noticed you were aromantic like me although I just found out like a week ago and I still feel sexual attraction and go be she/her pronouns... anyway I don't know if you have experience in this or not but I need gay advice and feel free not to awnswer since I'm asking this to multiple people but how do you know if you like someone in a queer platonic type of way and how would one bring that up to a boy you might like a lot platonically I'm 16 btw if that helps 🤷
Eeyyy hello. You can stalk me I don't really mind, I have people regularly scroll through my entire blog and like all my trash.
Ye I'm aromantic ^v^ there isn't really a hard way to tell whether you're feeling queer platonic attraction. Mostly because feelings and emotions are complicated and everyone reacts to them differently. Mostly it depends on what you want.
Do you want to be in a QPR with that boy? If yes, then yeah, you like them in a QPR kinda way. Maybe the feeling will fade, maybe it won't, but that doesn't change the fact that you want that at this time.
The best way (I think) would be to tell him that you're aro first. Explain it to him, make sure he understands, then explain QPRs. In my experience as someone who's also actively in high school, he may not have all the information you need him to have. People don't tend to know a lot about aros if they aren't one.
Next just ask him. It seems hard I know, but both times I've brought it up to one of my friends (he sees me as a QPR, I'm just not that close to him) it's been just another part of the conversation
Also warning this will only be awkward if you let it be awkward. Be confident! Just like dancing at a school dance :)
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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.
so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.
Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:
She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent
Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married
She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came
She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays
She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home
Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)
She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words
the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.
She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)
Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues
She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)
She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).
She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)
She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.
She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food
(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:
She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it
seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)
slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)
(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))
However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.
Subsequent conclusions about her personality:
Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).
Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:
Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.
Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?
Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:
It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:
Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.
We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.
It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.
It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.
"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).
And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?
Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?
I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:
copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.
It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.
But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.
What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."
Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.
All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)
There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.
but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.
(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)
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♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ
includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .
— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^
𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒
‼️ • MDNI • ‼️
♡ ····· introduction
• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3
• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.
• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!
• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)
Tagged with: #irlsaku
• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!
• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)
♡ ····· DNI / BYF
• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.
• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.
• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!
My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!
• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!
• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)
- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!
- aesthetic: #sakuaesth
- rambling: #sakubabbles
- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸
(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)
• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.
• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3
• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.
Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)
♡ ····· other / extra things
ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’
• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!
• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3
Twitter: @/crunchysugarr
Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)
• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡
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