#brain empty saku

[smirnoffswitchblade]

♡⸝⸝ about me .ᐟ

includes: introduction, dni/byf, etc . . .

— Finally im making an introduction after putting it off for a bit out of shyness (and laziness..+ being nervous, but i need to push myself to do things sometimes.) but i thought its time you guys know a little bit more about me! ^^

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓈒⠀. 𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

‼️ • MDNI • ‼️

♡ ····· introduction

• Hello there!! im Sammy, but i prefer to be called Sakura if we aren’t extremely close. <3

• Im 20 years old! Im also a biracial lady, Bisexual, and my pronouns are She/Her! Please refer to me as so when talking to/about me.

• Some of my hobbies include : Cosplay, editing, drawing, photography (beginner), dancing, gaming, writing, reading, and baking!

• I like to associate myself with certain animals, specifically raccoons/deer/rag-doll cats/lambs/bats! Personally i think they fit me very well..so thats why you may see me repost those specific animals from time to time. (cause i think they’re me! ^^)

Tagged with: #irlsaku

• My few of my interests are cosplay, video games, anime, manga, flowers, greek mythology, herbology, nymphology, gloomy coquette and lolita fashion. among others too!

• i love many little men right now..but mainly ive been very lovey dovey over ren hana/fox, strade, lawrence oleander, sano kojima and vincent metzger! their just my favorites at the moment and i tend to self indulge in a bunch of selfshipping with them (persona x canon and oc x canon too!..maybe i will post my btd/tpof ocs here someday.)

♡ ····· DNI / BYF

• DNI: Minors, ageless blogs, zoos/maps, ableist, racist, homophobic, transphobic, anti-xeno/neopronouns, i dont really have a big dni but these are my mains. I block freely.

• BYF: This account is my primary blog and it’s mostly just for me posting/spamming my brainrot of 18+ medias! (also made for self indulgence and other things but i wont speak on that too much) So please please if you are under the age of 18 or do not have an age stating that you are an adult in your bio you will be blocked! This blog and content is not made for your eyes to see and you can get others and the creators in legal trouble and yourself. Please stay safe and take care of yourself, Thank you.

• If you are not a minor but cant handle the topics/media that will be posted on my blog please don’t follow me, this blog again is simply for my hyper-fixations of 18+ medias, my own enjoyment, and more. Don’t hurt/trigger yourself intentionally by looking at the things i put here, and please look out for your wellbeing because you are special! <3 Thank you!

My sfw blog is @crunchysugarr so i wont mix my other medias with this one!

• I have ADHD/PTSD/anxiety and depression, please be mindful of these things when choosing to interact with me whether its in dms or my ask box!

• You can send anything (quite literally anything..) in my asks! I don’t mind it, but ill ignore it if i don’t feel comfortable answering it or if it makes me feel some type of way. Please remember i may take time to reply to them if you ever do send anything to my inbox. (I also ask that you don’t send me irl gore/animal gore/cp/etc in my ask box.)

- I tag my posts with my own hashtags, heres a few of them so you wont be confused about what I’m specifically trying to post!

- aesthetic: #sakuaesth

- rambling: #sakubabbles

- regular blogging: #sakuposting🌸

(This could change overtime but i don’t know if they will but if they do I’ll let you all know! I hate confusing others on accident, hope this helps somewhat!)

• Im still pretty new to the Boyfriend to Death fandom and other fandoms on here too, I’m always learning something new about these pieces of media every single day! so please don’t get upset if i say anything not really lore accurate (?) i guess.

• You can always dm me or reply in my posts freely! But please ask to dm me in my ask box if you do want to talk to me in private, i usually only chat on tumblr and not discord because only people i’m closest to have my discord. But feel free to ask to dm me and we can talk here on tumblr if thats fine with you <3

• Please be patient when it comes to me replying to messages/asks. Sometimes it can be a bit overwhelming knowing i have to reply to so many people so i may take some time to get back to you all depending on whats going on with me that day, i do have a life outside of tumblr thats way different from how i appear online! But just know i have no intentions of ignoring anybody, i just wanna try and talk to new people for once.

Note: i tend to use emoticons only because i just think they’re adorable simply and i like to use them when texting! (i dont know why i feel the need to specify this so much, or anything else for that matter..but i did!)

♡ ····· other / extra things

ill try and make this as short as possible so you wont have to do too much more reading.. sorry about that!! ^_^’

• on this account the specific content i intend to post is boyfriend to death (1&2), the price of flesh, ykmet, degrees of lewdity, lovers trophy, courtin’ cowboys, this is not romance, and Saw (2004)!

• i can give out some of my other socials below so feel free to follow them if you’d like to, or don’t! i would never force anything upon you or anyone. <3

Twitter: @/crunchysugarr

Pinterest: (the same as my twitter user)

• and i think thats really pretty much everything! i hope you enjoy my company and my blog, if theres any other questions you wanna ask to know other things about me that aren’t listed here then you are free to shoot me an ask anytime! (no pressure of course <3.) Im sure we will become good friends someday! take care ♡

#sakuposting🌸 #sakufawns #hello! hi..! #very nervous to post this but here i go #introduction #about myself #sorry if im a lil awkward..n quiet uhg god #ILL SUCK IT UP #its nice to meet you all eitherway though <3 #making new friends #boyfriend to death #the price of flesh #degrees of lewdity #18+ only #no minors please #lovers trophy #courtincowboys #this is not romance #holyshitimshxhsjhx #anxiety UP📈 #may edit from time to time #incase i forget somethsings :D #brain empty saku #ykmet #pinned post

[shinkaishoujo103]

Its so suover

#i am still in class and literally couldnt focus because of this #math? no. tsukasa suou. #brain empty only tsukasa suou #i just genuinely cant believe this #whats best is that with the 500 whistles i can get both the 5* and memos coins freely!!! #i will get both the new kasa card and next door leo!!! finally!!! #but at what cost (having to play the tour) #its also so sad leo themed happened and i didn't get him or else i would've had all his 5* #maybe one day #god i still cant believe this #kasa was the last person i expected to get tour #ritsu? yeah. sena? yeah? kasa? WHA #so is knights climax really gonna be one of the last after all......what about the anniv stream...... #mh. we'll see #also wait. kaoru 4*. with a tsukasa 5*. THIS IS THE 3RD TIME WHY ARE THESE TWO ALWAYS TOGETHER #and congratulations to keito hasumi for finally getting out of the basement #ALSO THE STORYS PREMISE? ESCAPE GAME? man if there were izu.leo or koha.ai that event wouldve been literally been for me #anyways thats enough of me rambling i think. im not okay i died AGAIN happyele really wants me dead dead #the feeling is mutual #saku rambles #enstars #OKAY WAIT NO look at him. look at my son. how can he be so cool AND so cute. i fucking love him so fucking much.

[demonslayedher]

Kimetsu no Yaiba: Hashira Training Arc OP “Mugen” (MY FIRST STORY x HYDE) TV Size lyrics

(Transcription and translation are my own; I don't bother following any specific romanization system when I'm having fun. Japanese is a context-heavy language and any translation you see will vary greatly, but in my case I had fun with Pillars on the brain with my filling in of some English gaps.)

Japanese + Romaji + English

永遠の意味　知らぬ君に

答えを示す時だ

夢幻に続く螺旋の先へ

言い訳に聞こえた理由は

儚い未来手繰った弱さ

それを強さとはき違えている

憎い　憎い

醜い　醜い

月を隠すほどの

黒く　黒く

淀む　心

君さえ居なければ

ゆらいでる　ゆらいでいる

花のように意思をつなぐ

奪っていく　奪っていく

嵐のように心を裂く

永遠の意味　知らぬ君に

答えを示す時だ

夢幻に続く螺旋の先に

待つのは誰

-------

Eien no imi   Shiranu kimi ni

Kotae wo shimesu toki da

Mugen ni tsuzuku rasen no saki e

Iiwake ni kikoeta riyuu wa

Hakanai mirai tagutta yowasa

Sore wo tsuyosa to chigaeteiru

Nikui   Nikui

Minikui   Minikui

Tsuki wo kakusu hodo no

Kuroku   kuroku

Yodomu   kokoro

Kimi sae inakereba

Yuraideru   yuraideiru

Hana no you ni ishi wo tsunagu

Ubatteku   ubatteku

Arashi no you ni kokoro wo saku

Eien no imi   Shiranu kimi ni

Kotae wo shimesu toki da

Mugen ni tsuzuku rasen no saki ni

Matsu no wa dare

-------

It's time to show my answer

To you, who do not know the meaning of eternity

It's at the end of a spiral that leads into dreams

My reason sounds like an excuse

Because weakness that hauled in an empty future

Is something you’re mistaking for strength

Abhorrent and ugly

So much so that it could hide the moon

My heart would be black and stagnant

If you weren’t here

Swaying and unstable

We have to maintain our determination like trembling flowers

It gets snatched away

And our hearts get shredded like in a storm

It's time to show my answer

To you, who do not know the meaning of eternity

Who is it that’s waiting

At the end of a spiral that leads into dreams?

#my translations #have I ever even used that tag? #I just felt like it for this song #I feel all the Pillars in this song but especially Giyuu talking to Tanjiro

[bluenpjm]

the kang code ✹ 1 — knj x oc

© bluenpjm | all rights reserved. do not repost, translate or claim as your own.

synopsis. when you can’t trust your instincts anymore, what do you turn to? 

genre. murder au + detective namjoon + angst + fluff

pairing. knj + oc 

rating. M

wordcount. 1.6K

warnings. mentions of corpses.

a/n. to my best friend, the one that gets me like no other. happy birthday, hyo~ i love you ♡ !

chapters. one — next // new chapters every day at 00:00 KST

May 7th, 2022.

A body was found in Busan. It is far from my legislation but I was curious about it. I had never seen a case like that. Seokjin sent me a message asking for my help solving some encrypted messages. I took a week off and jumped on the first train there. 

5:47 AM

Some might say that this time is too early even form a sentence. I see it the other way around. Mornings are where my energy is at its highest peak. Although, if I manage to not pass out from exhaustion, I have some of my most creative thoughts around the first hours of the new day. 

This is a waste of time. I have a 2-hour trip. I need to focus on this code.

P.S.: Remind Hoseok to check on Saku if not back in 2 days.

Namjoon takes out his notebook as the sun’s first rays gleam through the oval-shaped windows of the train. His carriage was nearly empty and he felt almost as if he was being sang a lullaby, much like the movement as it traveled through the rails was rocking him peacefully to sleep. 

He tended to keep his mornings quiet. Most of his shifts would end as the sun rose and he thought time too precious to waste on sleep. He would tend to some reading and to his plants. Sometimes, though, he would be interrupted by his loud neighbor Hoseok. Still, they had become… friends? Perhaps. That was a tricky word for Namjoon.

He flips through the battered pages of his small book. 

The people nearby can smell the soft scent of coffee. It had been countless the times that notebook had been doused in the liquid as Namjoon would drift off momentarily while trying to analyze a case. His whole career was traced in those pages. 

He had a perfect picture of the code on his phone. He could easily analyze that version instead of the one he had roughly sketched. Still, there was something — it could be from the touch of his calloused fingers against the smooth paper, or simply the fact that, deep down, he was an old soul. It made him think clearer, faster even. As if a new part of his brain was unlocked just by the simple sight of paper.

In his text message, Seokjin was very vague about everything. Namjoon met him while in the academy and they became good friends instantly. In fact, Seokjin became good friends with everyone. He was the kind of guy that had this charisma to him — it was impossible to not like him. When their training ended and they received their badges and guns, Namjoon was assigned to the police department of Seoul and Seokjin was sent to Busan. They would text each other from time to time. 

He kept on admiring the sketch he had made of the cipher. He could easily recognize some shapes. The e’s, the m’s, the g, the c, and the s’s. But then it wouldn’t exactly make sense as he tried to put the letters together. He tried counting each stroke. He read it backward and frontward, straight and upsidedown. And he only stopped when the train announced that the next step would be Busan. 

He got up, hand gripping the rail as the train came to a stop. People rushed out, some bumping into Namjoon as they left. He tightens the grip on the strap of his bag. Seokjin was supposed to pick him up but canceled last minute. So Namjoon decides to walk. He had only been to Busan once, as a kid. 

After 20 minutes of walking, he finds a coffee shop. He figured it was time to stop, maybe ask for directions. 

The store is small and nearly 5 tables fit inside. Still, it’s full and he can only order a coffee to go. Black, two spoons of sugar. But after taking his first sip, he doubts they listened. The bitter taste makes him shiver, eyes shutting as his glands take in the flavor. 

Namjoon has no choice but to sit on the small bench in front of the coffee shop.  Again, he takes out his notebook, examining the code as he took yet another sip from his coffee. Eventually, his mouth gets used to the bitter taste. 

“Is that a riddle?” Namjoon doesn’t react but his heart rate shoots up at the sudden presence by his side.

“Something like that.” He looks up, but not too much, his eyes falling directly on the petite girl standing by his side. 

“Are you perfecting it, or simply trying to figure it out?” The girl sits next to Namjoon and he scootches over to the end of the bench. If it weren’t for the armrest, he would’ve fallen to the ground. 

“The latter, minus the simple part.” 

She hums in response, her cup being held slightly in between her lips as she scans the code on Namjoon’s notebook. For a second, they stand silent, trying to analyze the code. 

“Have you figured anything out yet?” 

“Hmm-” Namjoon is pensive. Not anything concrete. And he doesn’t like to speak without being certain. “There’re some letters that stand out.” 

Namjoon points out all his ideas. The girl nods, attentively listening throughout his entire explanation.

“Well, that is definitely a C. And next to it looks like an A- or an X.” 

“If we follow that line of thought, it might be a word. CA makes more sense than CX.” 

“Cat?” Hyori makes the first suggestion. 

“Car?” 

“Cam?” 

“We’re already deducing it’s 3 lettered.” Namjoon laughs lightly. 

“I mean… It could be bigger but if you compare it to the others, it makes sense it’s 3 — or maybe 4 lettered. But not more.” 

“You’re right.” Namjoon’s eyes aren’t on the old pages of his notebook. Instead, he notices how fair her skin is and how her lips are slightly parted, wet from the coffee she had in her hand. “I’m Namjoon, by the way.” 

“Hyori.” She meets his eyes, giving him a gentle smile. He returns it, a dimple showing on his cheek. She immediately feels herself blushing at the thought of how handsome he is.

“Can?” 

“Can what?” She’s suddenly dragged back to planet earth. 

“The word. It could be Can. Especially considering the question mark at the end.” 

“Oh-” She examines the sketch quickly and a smile forms on her lips. “Good thinking!” 

They continue their line of thought, word after word. Some are simpler than others. And Hyori’s spirit makes it somewhat lighter on Namjoon. By now, had he been all alone on that bench, he would’ve given up. Actually, he would be curled up in the dark motel room he had booked only a couple of hours prior, nose buried into his small notebook, his hair slowly turning gray as he tried to solve the riddle. Instead, he was enjoying the warmth of the sun on his skin, swiftly swapping ideas with a stranger he had just met. And somehow, she felt more than just that. 

“Those could easily be numbers, no?” Namjoon ponders out loud, finger softly tracing the line on the bottom. 

“Did it come with that?” Hyori meant the line underneath the supposed numbers. 

“Yeah,” 

“So it must be important. Like that first word from the middle occupies so much more space than the others.” 

Namjoon nods. “It would be really important to know his name.” 

“Or hers.” Hyori points out and Namjoon laughs in agreement. “The first one looks like a 2.” 

“And the other a 4. If you flip it.” He completes her line of thought. 

“So, 24…” Hyori looks up at the sky, her mind trying to think of what it could be. “A date, a time? A street name?” 

“Might be…” 

“Oh, God!” Hyori hops from her place on the bench. Namjoon is startled and gets up as well. “I’m very late!” 

“I- Oh- I’m so sorry!” Namjoon can’t express himself, suddenly showered with a hint of guilt for keeping her occupied. 

“No- it’s not your fault! I lost track of time.” Hyori speaks quickly. “I have to run to the bus but-” 

Namjoon notices as she presses her lips together. “Can I-” 

“I really want to know how that ends, so please don’t take this the wrong way…” She looks down at the floor. “Can I have your number? And once you solve it, you can tell me all about it.” 

“I-” Namjoon is speechless for a moment, a shade of pink covering his face. “Of course.” 

They exchange their phone numbers and Namjoon watches Hyori leave until she’s out of his sight. He feels like it might also be time for him to leave, a sudden empty feeling confining inside him. He shrugs it off as soon as his eyes land on the pages in front of him. He had made good progress and was sure Seokjin was going to appreciate it. 

Namjoon finally gets to his motel room. The room is gloomy and has a strange odor in the air. Namjoon sighs, bag dropping to the floor as he closes the blinds in the room. For a moment, he sits on the edge of the bed, notebook tightly closed in between his fingers. He ponders about opening it again. He feels exhausted just imagining the code in his mind, the strokes magically dancing and moving places. 

DING

Namjoon doesn’t remember falling asleep. But he must’ve slept for the entire day as the closed curtain of his window seems black, with no ray of sun to be seen. His body was needing it. It had been more than 24 hours since the last time he had shut his eyes. No one said that the detective life was going to be easy. Still, Namjoon was keen on the career path. Ever since joining the academy. 

A text comes in. And another. Sitting up on the cheap mattress, he unlocks his phone.

[ chapter two ]

#bluenpjm #the kang code #btswritingcafe #wkcnet #namjoon #kim namjoon #detective au #mystery au #namjoon detective #namjoon angst #namjoon fluff #namjoon smut #namjoon au #bts namjoon #namjoon scenarios #namjoon fanfic #bts au #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts angst #bluenpjm.docx

[ordinaryxxgirl]

@sailingtheimaginarysea asked: O T X Y for Saku!

She absolutely does enjoy having things in her mouth. Lollipops, cocks, throat lozenges, 2DS styluses...She especially loves giving her partners oral and nursing on their fingers. She's never tried putting a sex toy in her mouth, though.

She might get carried away when she writes her fantasies at friends, but Saku genuinely wants them to enjoy themselves, too...Plus, she's prone to shamelessly getting off to the idea of, say, fucking Aria into the bed, doing her damnedest at getting her pregnant and fucking her brains into pure mush while emptying her load into her...Only to pin her down on the bed, cup her chin, and tell them what a good girl she is for taking her cock so nicely.

The only place she hates being touched is the bottom of her feet, due to the soles being sensitive. Her physique is on the chubby side, admittedly, but her only notable scars are a scar on the back of her right hand, a scar on her left ring finger, and a burn scar on the back of her left shin. She loves her neck and head being rubbed, though.

That's a difficult last question...There are a lot of things that would make her immediately agree to fuck. Asking her to breed you (even if she doesn't see that happening often, if at all), riling her up enough by acting lewd, or even just asking her to take it slow and make love to you in the comfort of bed. Though...She'd definitely say yes to lighting and a candlelit dinner.

#{bespectacled something | self insert | saku} #sailingtheimaginarysea

[sadclearance]

summer

pairing: suwa hiroto x male!reader x naruse kakeru from orange

summary: summer is here again.

category: fluff(?), angst(?), hurt/comfort(?) idk i suck at categorizing

warning(s): implied/referenced suicide

word count: 2013

key:

there's a flashback, but the start and end of it is signified with "*"

s/t - skin tone

summer is a time of warm sunny fun. the sky is clear, the air is hot--there's nothing stopping the group of old high school friends from gathering.

"do you think y/n's almost here?" naho asks, seeing as everyone from the group has finished with their brunch meals.

"if he is, he better have eaten beforehand. no way i'm staying any longer. i wanna get to the beach already!" azusa throws her head back exasperatedly.

"i'm sure he's on his way," saku says, voice steady but mind not confident in his own answer.

"y/n just texted me," hiroto sighs, and everyone already knows what it's about. and nobody's surprised.

"let me guess," azusa leans her face against her palm, "he's got another paper."

"yup," hiroto nods, revealing the screen of his phone to his friends.

"this is summer! who has papers during the summer?" azusa frowns.

"y/n always has papers during summers," saku notes. "maybe he's just working really hard."

"do you guys even know what he's studying?" hiroto asks.

"if you don't know, none of us would," takako says.

"what?"

"haven't you noticed?" azusa's eyes go wide. "are you dense?"

hiroto pouts, "that's not nice."

"y/n hasn't talked to any of us since high school," saku says.

"what? that can't be true. you're exaggerating," hiroto shakes his head.

"nope. not one text. not one reaction," azusa puts her pointer fingers together to create an 'x'.

"do you guys think he's holding up okay?" naho asks with a quiet voice. "i barely even saw him in high school after..."

and they all know what the next words were supposed to be.

but summer is a time for warm sunny fun, not a dark topic like this.

"let's go to the beach," azusa jumps from her seat and grabs her bag.

"yeah"s are heard throughout the group, and they all get up and follow her lead.

and the day is just the way it's supposed to be. the sun is bright, the air is hot, and the splashes of water that they playfully send each other's ways are cold.

"oh, you're so gonna get it!" azusa yells after saku dumps a bucket of water on her.

"hey! be careful," naho scolds. "you're gonna knock down my castle."

"sorry, sorry," azusa sends her a wink before going back to chase after saku.

it's fun like this. it's fun being with his high school friends. so fun that it makes hiroto miss high school.

but missing high school came with reminiscing memories of high school. memories that weren't always so fun.

and now hiroto feels like he can't move his fingers. his eyes can't focus on anything, and his view of the beautiful blue water is blurry. he wants to clear his mind, but he's trapped.

his heady is foggy, yet the past moments whizzing around inside his brain is painfully apparent.

*he doesn't feel the cool breeze of the ocean anymore. he feels the warm air of the blazing fire that was lit in y/n's tiny backyard. probably a fire hazard, but who could think about that when his best friends were smiling so big?

a black-haired boy that usually wears such a painful expression is now laughing heartily alongside the owner of the small place, letting his arms rest around his waist.

and warm s/t hands are pulling hiroto towards them.

"c'mon! join the party!"

there's so much laughter and warmth, even on the cold winter night.

hiroto thinks that it's the best night of his life.

the same hands that pulled him closer are now pointing at both sides of his cheeks.

the brunette and the raven laugh more before they decide to say "fuck it" and give into a little peck on the cheek.

but right before lips meet cheeks, y/n pulls his face away, and the lips are pressed against each other.

a cheery beautiful laugh resounds throughout the cold air as grey and brown eyes stare into each other, wide with realization.

when they pull away, hiroto expects kakeru's face to twist in disgust, but it doesn't. there's a small smile playing on his lips instead.

"your loss, y/n. kakeru's lips are sweet," hiroto playfully sticks out his tongue.

"then i guess i should get a taste for myself," y/n grins like a goof.

this view is so pretty and hiroto would never trade it for anything.

but then suddenly, kakeru's feet are off the ground, and y/n's body crumbles because kakeru is--*

"what--" hiroto gasps when cold water soaks him from head to toe.

"you were off in your own little dream world," takako says, putting the bucket down on the coarse sand.

"stop thinking so hard. that's never been a strong point for you," saku jokes before getting splashed by azusa.

"finally got you!" azusa celebrates, prancing around the low water in glee.

"you're on, takako!" hiroto says with a new burst of energy. he doesn't want to bring down the mood.

"it wasn't a challenge, but if you really wanna lose..." takako grins.

he's tired by the end of the day. takako was right. he lost.

"meet up at five for the festival tomorrow?" hiroto asks before parting ways.

"yup!" azusa nods aggressively.

"keep that up and you're gonna break your neck," saku flicks her head with his pointer finger.

"yeah," takako laughs.

"should we text y/n about tomorrow's plans?" naho asks hesitantly.

"i'll let him know," hiroto says after no one responds.

"you will?" naho asks with hopeful eyes.

"how could i ever say no to you?" hiroto ruffles her hair, trying to make the air less tense.

"don't be late tomorrow!" azusa yells at the group before going her own way.

the walk back to his house is quiet. he doesn't want to be alone right now. his mind is too much to handle alone, and he just wants something to distract him from these memories forever.

before he knows it, his feet have carried him to the l/n family house's door. the house that had been empty since y/n left for college.

he wonders if y/n's even there. probably not, considering how y/n's working on the paper for his project.

but he still needs time to work up the courage to ring the doorbell.

the simple task of lifting his finger and pressing the button takes some time and way more effort than it should, but he eventually gets it done.

"you in?" hiroto asks after a while. he knows his voice is weak, and that even if y/n was home, he wouldn't have been able to hear, but he can't find it in himself to raise his voice. his energy is suddenly drained, and he feels like he can barely keep himself up straight.

he leans against the door for support. "please."

he feels like a drunk, but he hasn't had anything to drink. it's pathetic and sad and ugly. all sides of him that he doesn't want to show anyone.

but he desperately wants to see y/n.

so, he continues.

"please, y/n. open the door," hiroto weakly knocks against the door.

he doesn't know how long he's been there, but he knows he needs to pick himself up and get to his own place.

before he leaves, holding the naive hope that y/n's on the other side of the door, he says, "we're gonna go to the festival tomorrow at five... it'd be nice if you came. i'll wait for you by the park that ka--..." this part is hard. he has to harshly swallow down the lump in his throat. "that we used to hang out at."

he couldn't keep his promise.

he had been waiting since four, but it was half-past five. he couldn't keep his friends waiting any longer.

"come on, hiroto," naho says with a painfully feigned smile. "it's okay."

"yeah," azusa tries to help. "we'll just catch him next time."

"we have all week to see him," saku eventually just grabs hiroto's arm and pulls him with them.

"okay, okay," hiroto forces out a laugh. "i can walk on my own. let's get a snack."

naho's as pretty in that kimono as she was back in high school, but hiroto can't find it in himself to be interested. he realizes that the things that used to excite him don't mean anything to him anymore.

it makes him feel hollow inside. will he feel like this when--if he sees y/n?

the thought haunts him for the rest of their time walking together, looking at what the different stalls and booths had to offer.

he doesn't remember when, but at some point, the sky had turned dark. he's sure the fireworks will start any time now.

"let's find a nice spot!" azusa says excitedly.

"you guys go ahead," hiroto says, pulling away from the group. "i need to go to the bathroom."

"hurry back! or you're gonna miss it!" naho says with a certain desperation in her voice, and hiroto knows it's because she can't afford to lose another friend.

"don't worry," hiroto reassures with a little smile. "i'll be back."

he knows it's silly, but he wants to go back to the park. it's stupid and illogical to even hope for y/n to be there because hiroto's not even sure if y/n was in the house when he said those desperate words.

but hiroto can't help but yearn.

he makes it to the park, and he sees a figure sitting on a bench--their bench.

it could be a random stranger that just happened to coincidentally sit there, or it could--

"y/n..." hiroto says softly when he gets close enough to confirm the identity of this person.

"hiroto..." y/n greets back. he's in casual clothes, nothing like what people normally wear to a festival. it's clear that this wasn't a thought out idea.

he hesitantly takes a seat next to y/n, leaving more space than necessary between them.

"i didn't know you were in town," hiroto says because as much as he's been longing for this moment, he doesn't know how to continue.

"then why did you come last night?" y/n doesn't look up.

"i..." how's he supposed to answer a question that he himself doesn't know the answer to? "i was hopeful."

the silence between them is unbearable, and hiroto wishes that seeing his high school best friend wasn't this awkward. it used to be so easy to talk to each other. why was it like this now?

"do you come back often?" hiroto asks.

"no. i've been too busy with stuff at school."

"you can't lie to me."

"then why ask?" it comes out harsher than y/n meant it to. "sorry..."

hiroto waits it out this time, and it works.

"i... i come back every summer," y/n lifts his head, but not to face hiroto's. his gaze passes the brunette and goes straight for the skies above.

there's tears building up in his eyes, and he tries to blink them away as fast as he can, but hiroto's already seen them.

he tries to think of his next words very carefully, but saku was right. thinking really hasn't ever been his strong point.

so he instinctively grabs y/n's shaking hand with his own and pulls him into an embrace.

"hey, y/n..." hiroto steadies his voice. "you're still reliving that summer alone, over and over again, aren't you?"

the only response he gets is trembling arms around his waist.

"as long as we live, summer will continue to come around..." hiroto tightens his embrace and hopes that his words are the right ones. "but the same summer will never come again."

"i miss him, hiroto," y/n chokes on a sob.

"i know. i miss him, too," hiroto buries his face in y/n's shoulder.

"and i missed you," y/n cries.

"i missed you more," hiroto whispers. "i love you."

he wonders if y/n could hear him over the loud popping of the fireworks.

but more than that, he wonders if this summer, they can finally start anew, as kakeru would want summer to be a time of warm sunny fun.

❥๑━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━๑❥

a/n;

messy half-vent fic. idek if it makes sense. inspired from a manga that i forgot the name of but it was this younger guy who was chasing after an older guy, and the older guy had a deceased boyfriend that died in a car crash in the summer.

#hiroto suwa x male reader #kakeru naruse x male reader #kakeru naruse #hiroto suwa #takako chino #saku hagita #azusa murasaka #naho takamiya #orange anime #orange #orange takano ichigo #x male reader #male reader insert #mlm #anime x male reader

[vesperlionheart]

Vesper’s Quarantine ‘Finished’ Reading List

If you’re stuck indoors and feeling anxious sometimes the best thing is to drown your brain in distractions until you’re able to function again. Thus, I’ve put together a list of Sakura centric stories to entertain you. There’s a lot of shameless self promo here, fair warning, but it’s my blog and my blogpost so that’s where we’re gonna start.  Some of my favorite fic are ones still being updated but this list includes only stories marked as [complete]. 

[Finished personal fic]

Obelisk: Kingdom of Man By: VesperChan 'She could swear she smelt sulfur when she exhaled. Nothing good ever came from boys who smelled like sulfur.' An ancient Egyptian curse and a world of dreams opens Sakura up to a life devoid of safety. In the darkness her nightmares bow themselves to her. In the morning they feast on her heart. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Beasts By: VesperChan One Kingdom down, three to go. Carrying the scars on her heart, Sakura must brave the dreams again as this time, there are more sinister things then men waiting for her when she goes to sleep. The wolves have come to feast and her body will know their teeth. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Monsters By: VesperChan More than halfway through the curse, Sakura's nightmares hold nothing back as fangs and spells seek to drag her down and bury her with the dead. Monsters have come at least to feast on what is left of her bones and devour her wounded heart. Beyond the scars and bloodshed, her soul is beginning to fade under the dim lights of another enchanted speakeasy and ruby eyes. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Gods By: VesperChan Entering the final kingdom, Sakura stands atop a castle of sand to face down the gods who first orchestrated the curse and began the bloody tradition of collecting human souls in a little black obelisk. Gladiators, Egyptian gods, and blood thirsty pharaohs paint a vivid picture on the inside of her mind as she sleeps, dreams, and struggles once again. AU SakuraMany Total word count for Obelisk series: 565,292 (just over half a million words)

RED KING By: VesperChan In the wild country where it never snows but always freezes, the Red King marches his armies against the White Tsar. That is why Sakura is swept away from the lonely streets and the empty barracks into a car with a bastard prince and a promise of redemption, but if only she can face the demons that chased her in the first place and be what the king needs in his war. SakuraCentric 

Touken Revolution by Vesperchan (rated E)  Sakura, a sword smith, is nearly killed for what she really is: a sage, one who can animate weapons into warriors and give bodies to the souls she hears inside swords. Now a refugee in the land of Kiri she's building an army because it's her only hope for survival and maybe even happiness. SakuraKiri Sakura centric

Things We Lost in the Fire By: VesperChan Years later, living alone in the woods with half a dozen dogs, questionable reading material, and crippling non-attachment issues, Sakura realizes she has turned into her teacher. Agebent Sakura Sensei ShiSaku

Jealous gods by Vesperchan When a coup takes the lives of the king and the rest of the royal family, Sakura, the sole surviver, escapes to the edge of the world with Kakashi to strike a bargain with an old god. Her worship in exchange for his power. She's warned he's a dark and jealous god, but that's not enough to sway her. ItaSaku Kakasaku darkItachi AU

Lindworm & the Tam Lin Love a Changling by Vesperchan Sakura travels as a curse breaker across the land, doing what she can to put some peace back into the world. She doesn't think much of it when she breaks the curse on a lesser dragon or a fae knight, but maybe she should have. MadaSaku, HashiSaku Poly

A Confluence of Stars by Vesperchan (my WitcherAU) With the war over between two princedoms, Sakura, a sniper, returns home to celebrate Confluence with her grandmother, the local Story Keeper. She had expected it to be nothing more than just another celebration when the star rivers overlapped and the poor people partied. But, along with the rest of the world, Sakura soon realizes that Confluence did more than just give people a reason to celebrate. A wicked new world filled with monsters and magic straight from Baba's tales spills into theirs, and Sakura is forced to turn to her rifle and her stories to make sense of it. Sakuracentric 

Sugarplum by Vesperchan "They will use you up, and love you all the while, until there is nothing left of the girl you used to be." Sakura had been a chosen one, once upon a time, but that was years ago, and all the magic has left her. Still, the world calls her back and she has a new role in supporting the next girl savior many years her junior. ItaSakuSaso

Stag by Vesperchan  He was a wizard with a tower and a set of rules he should never break. Sakura was a girl with just a bit of budding magic he decides he can't ignore. Some things were made to be broken. TobiSaku 

[Finished general fic list]

Hollow Point by Sariasprincy @sariasprincy​ Arms dealing is her trade, but young and in a man's world, it takes a criminal mastermind to play with the big dogs without getting bit. TobiSaku/ItaSaku. Crime!AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Where it Happened also by @sariasprincy​e He was the new head of Cardio and her new boss, and though she thought him a little full of himself, it seemed there was more to the famed Uchiha Itachi than he led on. Not that she could claim her life was that uncomplicated as well. ItaSaku. Modern AU. Grey's Anatomy AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Nightmare in Red by @sariasprincy​ Haruno Sakura used to think the eyes were the windows to the soul, but after witnessing the horrors of the Sharingan firsthand, she's convinced they are the doors. ItaSaku. Nonmass. Rated T

Blurred Lines  by @sariasprincy​He was an international criminal. She was a federal agent. And she wanted nothing more than to arrest him - or shoot him - if only he would stop providing her leads to more desirable criminals first. MadaSaku. Rated T.

The Man in Black  A man in black haunts her hospital. But what does he want and why is it that Sakura is the only one that can see him? ItaSaku. Modern Myth AU. Death AU

The Choices We Make by @sariasprincy​He was the Head of the Uchiha Clan and she the fearless discipline of the Hokage, but how the hell was she supposed to find the strength to tell him she was pregnant? MadaSaku. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

halcyon days by jaylene @thefreckledone​ Sakura sees dead people. Well, two dead people to be exact. Everything changes. Sakura-centric. Indra/Sakura/Ashura. 

hands like houses by @thefreckledone Sakura finds herself trapped in the past and discovers a new family along the way, however unwilling she may be. Time travel. Fix-it fic. Sakura-centric.

Borage by @thefreckledone Sakura is in search for answers. What she finds doesn't please her.

Forest Fire by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. Sasu x Saku x Ita. A small spark can launch a forest fire.

Forest Fire II by Moor @kendochick-moor Sequel to "Forest Fire". University AU. Sasu X Saku X Ita. After Sasuke inexplicably broke up with her when he leaves for Oto, Sakura throws herself into her school and social life. Friends like Ino, and surprisingly Itachi, are there to help her along the way. Meanwhile another threat, in the form of unbalanced Uchiha Madara, stalks her, ever nearer.

Tipsy series by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. MadaSaku. The 1-5 part  of the "5 Drunkfics" prompts.  (Rated 'M' for language & themes)

Akatsuki Sakura AU by moor  DeiSaku, ItaSaku. Konoha-verse AU. Akatsuki Sakura AU. Raised by Uchiha Madara as part of the Akatsuki, Sakura is sent to infiltrate Konoha's ranks. Things become complicated when she is promoted to a team with one of Konoha's most well-respected ANBU captains, Uchiha Itachi.

Soulmates by Moor - KakaSaku. Age-swap AU. Based on the "Soulmates" prompt from the October 2015 tumblr KakaSaku fest. Kakashi has a reputation as an enfant terrible; at least, until Sakura sensei takes him under her wing. Rated M for later chapters.

Fancy Footwork by silverfootsteps @silverfootstepswrites For Sakura, there's always been dreary days of schoolwork and unreliable people. Who knew a clumsy womanizer, an accidental pervert, a soft-hearted glutton, and an incredibly sexy virgin would light her life up like this? A friendship founded on dancing and the strange threat that tied them all together: "Fiji". AU

Equinox by silverfootsteps Sakura is half-siren, half-human, and 100% unprepared for what waits for her when she moves to a little seaside town. A place where calling someone a monster always receives the answer: "….well, duh". Monster AU. Multisaku.

Lullaby by Silverfootsteps Sakura is part-siren, part-human, and learning how to deal with a nest of lovable dorks. But nothing seems impossible in the sleepy little town of Old Pines, where magic hangs heavy in the air and a certain werewolf has learned to stop pissing everywhere. Sort of. Sequel to Equinox. Monster AU. Polysaku af.

Butterfly by silverfootsteps After winning her first and only Olympic gold, Haruno Sakura shocks the world by announcing her retirement from skating. When she returns to her little hometown of Konoha, she finds that not much has changed. The same old temples, the same old persimmon trees. Resigned to a quiet life, she settles in for what she hopes will be an uneventful retirement. Skating AU. Itasaku.

Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

Vertigo by Cynchick Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

An Indispensable Assistant by TayMor Professional. Intelligent. Intuitive. Haruno Sakura is the assistant every boss wants. She is smart, she is capable, and she is experienced. Operating with her own hard and fast rules, Sakura has one, very important personal rule. Never fall in love with your boss. However, being indispensable to Uchiha Itachi will put that rule under heavy duress. AU. 

The Third Chance by TayMor reviewsJust because he died didn't mean he got to stay dead. The Rikudo Sennin reincarnates Uchiha Madara as his 26 year old self and he begins his third life broken, humiliated and full of despair. But things change as Madara finds himself competing against Sasuke for the attention of Konoha's favorite medic... MadaSakuSasu Set after the final battle and during the blank period.

Rainy Days by Wynth It took her a while before Sakura was convinced that she was once again in her twelve year old body, but by that time it was too late. •Time-Travel / AU•

Consequences of Saving a Life by BelleDayNight reviewsAt the end of the war, Neji is revived by Sakura. She has saved his life, now she is responsible for it. The Hyuga clan leader covets the power that Naruto and Sakura could bring the clan with unions with Hinata and Neji. Can they survive the politics of the noble clan? Naruto trains with Sasuke and Hanabi for CPE while Sakura and Neji embark on a mission together for the Daimyo.

Take It or Leave It by kc-archive  Akatsuki & Sakura. After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (dubcon warning)

Till Death Due Us Apart  by SpeedDemon315​ Ever since he was gone, she never was the same. The world was warm and cheery while she was cold and dreary. She thought there was no hope left for her…or was there? Oneshot, character death [SasorixSakura]

Bringing Back What's Dead by SpeedDemon315  Sequel to Till Death Due Us Apart. She made a promise to herself to discover a way to revive him and have him finally see his son. What happens when your greatest enemy from the past is the only one who can grant your fondest wish? SakuraxSasori

Time Flies Like An Arrow by katlou303 Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's a four-year-old civilian having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.

The Art of War by leafygirl  Entry for the LJ Kakasaku AU contest. Sakura gets stuck following her teacher after a bet with her friends. But his mysterious life is nothing she ever expected.

Vespertine by Cynchick  Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.

Caught and Set Loose by Celtic Oak AU. On a mission, Sakura and her companions find themselves in the custody of the wildest clan of the East Province. Forced to accept their hospitality and a redheaded escort, the medic must make the best of her situation, wherever it leads her. GaaSaku. 

#fic rec #fic list #Sakura Haruno #Fanfiction #have fun #happy reading #this was a big list #sorry #long post #I tried to make them short #I failed #lol #shameless self promo #there's a lot of fic finished out there #that's a lot of hours #days of reading #links #so many links #mostly ff.net links #it's easier to find fic on ff.net #AO3 is like an ocean #unless you bookmark

[rokutouxei]

in a way that would make you proud

bungou stray dogs dazai osamu (& oda sakunosuke) | T | 2913 | [ao3]

warnings: post-canon, alcohol, dazai-typical suicide references, implied/referenced self-harm, oda is still dead, also everything is in lowercase. spoilers for dark era / 黒の時代.

notes: this was supposed to be for dazai’s birthday, but i started it way too late. i didn’t want to rush it, so i took a week to write it and now it’s just a long angsty love letter from me to him (in a way.) + first bsd fic so i wanted to make a good impression LOL

summary:

dazai didn’t think he’d live up to the age of 23. hell, he didn’t think he’d make it to 18. he was sure, at 10, that he would be dead by 15. everyday he would wake up wondering (hoping? believing?) that he’d be dead the next day. he never really does. alternatively: june 19th, every year, just feels like a long, long night.

-

(midnight.)

dazai doesn’t celebrate his birthdays, at least in his head. it’s just another likely-humid day in the country’s short rainy season. every birthday is just another reminder, no, a testament to a year of failed attempts to take his own life. it’s miserable at the worst. today, it’s just numb. he doesn’t even wake up feeling any different.

but he doesn’t let that train of thought stop everyone around him for celebrating for him.

dazai considers, for the first few minutes after waking up, skipping work altogether. it’s not going to be surprising, or anything new from him, really. and an earful from kunikida is just going to be cheap fun for the next day. but as dawn slowly gave way to the sun, he figured dealing with the pleasantries (as in, the “surprise” party that had stopped being a surprise a week ago) and sitting in his office chair would make him feel a little more put-together, at least more than just lying in his futon with his new roommate, a growing stack of empty cans of ready-to-eat crab.

dazai sighs, shuffles out of his bed, hearing the imaginary shackles that bind him there clink around.

(one o’clock am)

besides, the members of the armed detective agency think of themselves a small family at best, and for families, birthdays are special. (dazai hums this to himself on his way to work, like it’s a fact he’s learned, not a lived experience.) he’s spent the past two years carving himself a spot in this mismatched little group, and even if his space feels just as impermanent as anything he’s ever wanted, it’s still a place. he isn’t going to lose all that hard work over a random day.

budget is tight this quarter, but when he gets to the office, he’s welcomed with, salad, karaage… and even crab! there’s no alcohol because kunikida is too strait-laced for that and he insists there’s still work to be done. dazai whines and makes complaints, as everyone expects him to.

most of his colleagues have small gifts for him, like an orange from kenji, a candy from ranpo (quickly taken back), his favorite bandages from yosano… nothing really spectacular. kunikida gets him nothing, but the wordless glance they share with each other says otherwise.

atsushi feels indebted to his mentor, so he splurges to get him something nice: a scarf. which is hilarious, to say the least, considering it’s basically summer, but since scarves are off-season they are cheaper, and that’s the only way atsushi can afford something as stunning and high-quality as this—a nice thick cotton one in a deep blue shade. he passes the credit to kyouka for choosing which to get and for wrapping it nicely.

dazai’s eyes flicker with something for a moment before it’s gone. he thanks them with as much heart as he can muster, then does his usual dramatics. asks if the scarf is sturdy enough to hang himself with.

atsushi begs him please don’t and dazai feels something squeeze in his heart.

after the feast, the rest of the day goes as it usually does: dazai smiles and makes jokes and laughs and drives kunikida batshit insane. it’s just a normal day at the armed detective agency office.

just not for dazai.

(two o’clock am)

a work day is still a work day, though, and there’s no getting away from kunikida even on “personal holidays.” there are reports to be written and things to be followed up. dazai isn’t being efficient about it, but he still does his share—at least enough so that it’s even a bit fair for his begrudging partner, who is always gentler to him on this particular day.

an extra serving of patience—that’s what kunikida always gives him on his birthday. and even on this year, dazai’s quick to claim it; two hours before the work day officially ends, he’s already packing up to leave.

not that kunikida’s screaming will really stop him, but it feels a little better when dazai can afford to leave a little early with permission.

atsushi’s a little surprised no one stops dazai from leaving, but he asks no more questions when kyouka shushes him. kunikida only tsks when dazai is out of the building.

(three o’clock am)

out of the office and back into the rush of the city, dazai’s feet bring him to a beeline to that place, like on autopilot. he’s humming all the way there but his brain’s only echoing a sort of static. that is, until the imagery of sitting next to empty seats begins to burrow into the haze of his mind—and it hurts. numbness is okay, but pain? it hurts the same way squeezing into old shoes that no longer fit you does.

and dazai hates it.

so he steels himself, says, no one’s there anymore, insists, there is nothing to come back to.

even if he knows he will find himself there again one day. he always, inevitably does.

but not today. that’s not where he feels safe enough to break.

this time, dazai’s a little more purposeful, a little more awake.

he drops by a liquor store to get whiskey. just goes up the aisle and picks up the first one he finds. it’s not like he’ll remember what it tastes, anyway. the cashier doesn’t make small talk. dazai smiles at them anyway.

he contemplates buying flowers, but he feels a pang of pain at gifting something that’ll die before he does.

and so he begins the long, slow walk to the seaside.

(yesterday, today, and tomorrow)

yokohama is too familiar to him now. he’s lived here too long.

every street bears his secrets. every crosswalk has a memory.

every inch of the city has a weight.

when he was still learning to maneuver the ins and outs of the city, a little boy barely filling in the hollow of his new uniform, there was darkness everywhere. everywhere he entered, everywhere he left. dazai was sure the darkness would quickly consume him.

dazai didn’t think he’d live up to the age of 22.

hell, he didn’t think he’d make it to 18. he was sure, at 10, that he would be dead by 15.

every day he wakes up wondering (hoping? believing?) if he’d be dead the next day.

today, he’s 23.

odasaku died at 23.

dazai should have died at 15.

or better yet, it should have been him who died at the hands of mimic.

he’s sure.

(four o’clock am)

even if odasaku had acted of his own accord, he was still given a mafia’s burial. the details, of course, were hushed: it didn’t matter that mori had orchestrated the entire deal with gide. what mattered is that odasaku’s death had led to the granting of their prized business permit.

a piece of paper in a stupid black envelope.

in the months between the port mafia and the armed detective agency, dazai struggled to find a way to put into words what the experience left in him. it was like it was him who was shot clean through the chest. he was walking down the path the end of odasaku’s life had pointed him towards, but then what? at what cost? to what end?

his friend’s death left no trace of him, his private files burnt, the ones still useful to the mafia kept in confidential locations. (dazai knows where everything is.) to the outside world, all that was left of the man named oda sakunosuke was a headstone, on a rather beautiful gravesite on a fancy cemetery overlooking the sea.

it was dazai who overlooked all these tiny details, even while on the run, in hiding.

honor the dead, they said.

he figured it was the least he could do.

dazai always felt like he could offer too little to the only man who ever really knew him.

so now he offers it all, stumbling along the unfinished path of a dead man, even if he didn’t know where was he going with it.

“ya, odasaku.”

(ten minutes past four)

not much of anyone comes to visit this grave, really. ango, maybe, dazai bitterly thinks, but he’s gladly never had the chance to see the man here. (he hopes he never gets to.)

because this is the only place dazai truly feels quiet.

he doesn’t really stop thinking. he doesn’t know how to. there’s always too many things to consider, so much going on, and even when his brain lets go of the tangible, of the here and now, there are other things for thoughts to latch on to, like old wounds that suddenly seem fresh if dazai closes his eyes hard enough, or the phantom sensation of a noose, or the sudden realization that he’s drowning, just not in water.

dazai’s long mastered the art of keeping his forever-rushing thoughts in neat compartments. he doesn’t usually lose track of his spirals, except when he’s here.

here he counts down, 18, goodbye, 17, 16, 15, hello, he is young again, he isn’t wounded in the places that hurt when he’s alone, he is meeting odasaku for the first time. (he’s walking down the port mafia headquarters and he sees him, and something deep within him, six years away from the future, shouts: don’t! spare him! meeting you is a death sentence!)

and then he is meeting him for the last time.

like freshly pumped from a weakened heart, stuttering, begging to live, the spurting red blood is still warm. it sends those in dazai’s veins boiling. there is no rationalizing here—no amount of reason brings the dead back.

he knows that.

but dazai breathes easier when the lines are less muddled, and he can point the criminal to the judge and sentence them to death.

it was mori ougai, sir.

it was gide, sir.

it was me, sir.

it was him—it was oda sakunosuke’s fault, sir.

(it was him who pulled me out of the dark, sir. who forced me to deal with the mess we made, sir. who told me i belonged here, sir.

i don’t want to be here, sir.)

it is only here where dazai’s mask really breaks.

shatters cleanly in half, then falls down with a thump on sacred ground.

(twenty minutes past four)

dazai rests his back against the headstone, staring out at the ocean, the sunset dyeing yokohama bay a lovely vermillion. the tendrils of loneliness cling to his limbs like they’ve sprouted out of the ground, when really it’s from deep inside his heart.

only here does dazai really feel seen: his transparency only to a man buried six feet under.

dazai’s given up on it, now. it doesn’t matter that people don’t “get” him, as long as he’s able to do what he has to do. this is a luxury is long past him, now that he’s slipped into someone else’s unfulfilled dream. he’s trying to be what odasaku would have wanted himself to be.

if there’s one thing, one thing he would ask for, it’s faith: and with his subordinates’ faith comes success—and that’s all he needs.

just bargaining chips he’s collecting under his pillow as he says, “look, odasaku, i’m doing good, look, cruel god, this duty’s given my life meaning, forgive me, forgive him.”

meaning?

no, there is no meaning here, no metaphor, no hope.

just a gaping void.

(four thirty am)

the sun slips under the bay and the sky is a beautiful lavender-violet; the sea breeze makes him chill. rainclouds have begun to crawl over the horizon, hiding the moon.

dazai feels old. too old. he feels too old for someone in a body that’s only twenty-three. he never expected this body to last as long as it has. he was ready to retire at ages much younger than this. his hands crave death with the same vigor his mind races to write strategies for situations where he survives. now, he lives in a world he never expected or planned to be a part of.

he wonders if odasaku felt this exhausted when he was at this age.

all dazai does here is think. until the thoughts stop.

the cap of the whiskey bottle is screwed on tight but when it opens, the smell takes him back to bar lupin so fast that his head spins. dazai takes a swig of the whiskey straight from the bottle.

and he was right. he can’t taste it.

only blood. the blood in his hands, the way it stained his bandages, odasaku’s dead weight, the red pooling on the floor. dazai only tastes blood in his mouth.

blood’s always been the only thing that’s filled him.

and he hated it. felt it thrumming underneath his wrist, his jugular, blood that said try as you might, you insolent mortal, you can’t die, that so many times he’s tried to wring himself dry of it.

he never does.

because if he loses his blood what else would be left in him?

odasaku once told him that the emptiness inside of him will never be filled, not by anything that he’ll ever find in this world. and odasaku was right—dazai knew. dazai knew long before he was told. no amount of money, no amount of power, no amount of whatever will get him out of the edge of the cliff he was dangling on.

for a moment, dazai wonders if odasaku knew and was so sure of it because odasaku was aware he was taking it away with him.

whatever “it” was.

(the sun begins to paint the sky violet)

dazai remembers an afternoon a million years ago when the hollow in his heart didn’t have the shape of oda sakunosuke’s hands. ozaki kouyou was teaching two jittery fifteen-year-olds about literature.

well, just one, but dazai’s really only there because he wanted to mess with chuuya, and kouyou spotted him first.

with not a single year of formal education on chuuya’s back, kouyou’s work with him was nearly tenfold. she was tasked not only to refine his abilities (he’s good, but he can be better, a touch of elegance will not hurt), but also teach him other valuable skills.

being part of the organization, after all, was not just about violence and murder.

dazai knew that. chuuya was yet to learn it.

arithmetic and history and science—the redhead had tutors for that. but literature, kouyou had taken into her hands.

it’s not the text itself, or the language and vocabulary, she said, what we’re honing here is critical thinking, and the bits of philosophical thought to be picked up that’ll shape you into a brilliant mafioso in the future. pretty words, dazai thought. she sipped tea while chuuya read. she tapped his back with a fan when his posture broke and he began to slouch.

chuuya read the books religiously, without complaint (at least not in front of kouyou). dazai never really understood all this. he let his mind wander. why didn’t she just let the boy read war strategy books—the kind mori made him devour? oh, but chuuya wasn’t really a strategist, and well, he’s obedient, that’s why he’s a dog—

the silence of the afternoon was broken by chuuya getting up to ask about a phrase he didn’t understand. kouyou smiled in a way that left dazai unsettled. and somehow, that afternoon was burned into dazai’s memory like it was something he mustn’t forget.

the phrase was 無我夢中.

to be totally absorbed in something, you lose yourself in it.

that is, dazai’s long known what he’s doing, he just doesn’t want to admit it.

(the sky is a weak light blue, giving way to an inevitable morning)

the whiskey bottle is empty now. dazai shifts to stuff it into his little paper bag of gifts when his fingers graze the soft cotton of his new scarf, deep blue.

save the weak, protect the orphans, he was told.

he pulls the scarf out and clutches it in his hands.

feels its weight. imagines rope.

please don’t, atsushi said earlier.

and dazai is trying, and trying, and trying, and—

is it enough?

is he enough?

will he be enough?

“odasaku,” dazai says, hums it under his breath like the wind will take it, bring it where he needs it to go, “would i have made you proud?”

(dawn)

fat droplets begin to pour out of the dark clouds. there are no stars out. yokohama glimmers under the thin sheen of rain.

nearby, a child hurriedly grasps his father’s free hand as he digs into his bag for an umbrella, and the little boy goes, “papa, the sky is crying!”

and maybe the sky is. maybe the man sitting behind the gravestone is.

but there are two sure things about rain:

one, that it washes away any and all things if you let it.

two, that it will always, somehow, at some point, stop.

(morning’s just beginning)

dazai gets up on his feet, with just a little sway from all the alcohol. but the night’s still young, and there are better stuff to drink than whiskey out of a bottle. he looks back at the grave with eyes promising he’ll be back soon, a little better, a little wiser than he is, and then off he goes, into the city he far-too-well knows.

maybe he can bother someone into treating him to some good, expensive, old-fashioned wine.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #bsd dazai #文豪ストレイドッグス #文スト #um hi i dont know the tags #also look at me projecting onto dazai going PARKOUR at every sad statement #fic #i've been in otome game hell for a bit so i haven't written anything not x reader in a while so #THIS WAS FUN #also i forgot to add! 無我夢中 is mugamuchuu. :)

[mythykl]

if naruto characters were your desk neighbours~

i lowkey miss the chaos in school, and not the actual school,, also recently rewatched the final battle between sasuke and naruto- this nostalgia overloaded. ya

Sasuke

popular- yet pretty unapproachable and an introvert,, you can clearly see why

kinda emo hair, kinda emo vibe, kinda emo clothes, just- wears all black

got piercings just last week and you totally find it cool-

 tho he seems content, he has an vibe of restlessness- always fiddling with pen and makin’ shit on his desk fall- that’s how you guys started talkinn’

well, long story shor- you joked- he gave a soul piercing look- attempted to joke for some reason- it was a bad dad joke- he simply decided to act as if nothing happened- you blurted out another joke at that and started laughing historically-

end of the day? you guys stayed late after school hours- as he showed you pics of his cats- nice.

pays attention in class- like a hawk. has pretty messy notes- and draws in his texts

Sakura

saku- no it’s the class rep we’re talkin’ about-

she came off as kinda phony and arrogant at first but she’d super sweet-

and a good cook-

and real scholar- except in sports-

amazing artist

and brings you chocolates everyday, but you ain’t complainin-

is secretly a hAIKYUU!! FAN and you suspect that she has a tumblr blog dedicated to them- i mean lmao-

ya book rec buddy~

hmmmmss~ a LOT

vintage and beanies- le vibe-

Naruto

though he won’t bother you and let go of his rEPUTATION of being loud af this year- but, holy crap you were wrong-

comes in late- legit everyday and acts like nothing happened,, yet emits energy like a fuckin sUN

hella funny and has the coolest fashion sense.

never pays attention in class- and asks you what’s going on and stuff

if given an opportunity- you would have a whole ass picnic in the back of the classroom

but,, you guys are strictly been told to sit on the first desks- cuz odc-

 cheats off your answers- and you’re not a snitch or anything bUT YOU”RE SO CLOSE-

lowkey scared of empty classrooms and hallways, 

Shikamaru

sLEEPS ALOT- thus, making it embarasing for you when sensei spots him and ask you to wake him tf up~

always asking for pen and pencil- has almost lost five erasers since the last three months

since this fucker never has anything with him- you decided to present him supplies for Christmas

doesn’t understand a shit in literature and social science lectures~ but fuckin’ aces at physics and math

many people call ya friendship weird cuz’ he’s more outgoing w you than w anyone else- liitle do they know thaT YOU GUYS BONDED OVER THE MUTUAL HATRED FOR SCHOOL SYSTEM- and mainly,, exchanging homework and test answers

just recently, he shared his playlist- and it’s fuckin’ good.

never takes notes- 

Ino

new hairstyles every fucking day,, i mean are we even surprised??

you wanna know the real vsco girl?? that’s her-

texts you while in class- more like sends you weird and funny shit she comes across on twitter

hence- aLWAYS ACTIVE-

AND TYPES SUPER FAST-

don’t know how but you guys just naturally started talking-

the epitome of foolishness was achieved by you guys in a french lecture when she was tryna say something to you- leaned too much- thus, ended up falling down along with her chair and desk-

and you guys just started crackin’-

which earned you both detention instead of asking her if she’s hurt but. nvm.

she would even throw cranes at you while teacher’s speaking

you guys have opened up about your kinks already- chill-

Hinata 

doesn’t seem like that- but she’s a cosplays

-and makes tik toks

and always listens to lo-fi and also reads lotta manga

she’s shy and speaks the most valid and deep shit ever shit lmao- just randomly throwing realizations at you like a shuttle cock lol

has all tHE SUPPLIES- and expensive ass highlighters and notebooks- 

rich. rich. rich.

pianist as well- you many a times see her hand doing the weird movements as if she’s playing keys- something that she does unconsciously-

being desk partners for a while earned you a selfie with her- she’s kinda camera shy when it comes to close ups-

Kiba

many say he’s loud, but he’s pretty quiet in class

has a three dogs- and has akamaru’s baby pic as his lockscreen- and it’S THE CUTEST THING ever~

k pop- ya

he tExTS LiKE tHiS aNd iT’S fUcKiNG aNNoYiNg

him and choji once deadass ate ramen in class and teacher didn’t gIVE TWO SHITS- oh okay-

when finals are almost here him and naruto are usually at your place- studying

your house? no- that’s the haNGOUT SPOT skjskjskj

has videos of you caught in the moments when ya brain just went sayonara~ which includes you zoning out in lectures-

he films you on snapchat and kinda bullies you:(

breakin’ the 573 streaks if he-

seems as if he exists merely for your entertainment well ofc it’s not so

btw,, i totally would love to have kiba as my bff~ just sayin

i would love to write imagines for minato, kushina, kakashi as well under this title lmso- lemme know. cool.

TOODLES.

#naruto #sasuke #sasukeuchiha #naruto imagine #sakura #ino naruto #Kiba #naruto meme #naruto headcanon #naruto fanfic #naruto fandom

[umbralrosarchive]

✂ And one in return

@cconfiguration

Send me ‘✂’ and my muse will kill yours. Right now. Brutally, horribly, bloody. Just do it.

玫: The stranger came and went a few times in the recent months. Didn’t harm anything in her territory, that she knew of. The same quiet and kept rule went undisturbed, as it should be. The people felt safe in her shadow. All the while she watched from it in turn.

He wasn’t greeted by her, or anyone really. Anyone that wanted to come and stay in her portion of the prefecture, can do whatever they wanted, so long as the Despot’s law was understood. The civilians, few heroes, and more pronounced number of villains, they knew her rules. They hear them, but only in the form of hushed tones. That someone was caught. Went missing. They all knew what it meant, here.

It would seem, that this man was not aware, nor perturbed enough by the rumors that came from this place. The few on the sidewalk made a quick move for their homes, or any establishment in vicinity to hide in with blinds quickly closed.

It was always brutal to watch justice's guillotine fall upon the rebellious. The villains that came in hopes of making a name for themselves felt this most of all. It was why the half prefecture --- dubbed Saku --- felt so safe to the quirkless and lesser pro’s. The media even tried to do a cover of this ghost town at one point. The government even kept it as classified and experimental grounds.

It was so very special an occasion; however, that the Despot herself would happen to wander the clean streets. It was a rarity, if not a reminder as well, that she is not to be taken lightly. By her stoic expression, it was always difficult to tell if she was angry, disturbed, or felt anything at all. The fixed violets were to an alleyway beside a building that’s yet to be renovated.

As empty as she left it when she claimed this area.

There were a few cloaked individuals, standing in the center was the figure she’s been informed of, and farther back was this... Collaboration, of other individuals. Meshed together in some grotesque art piece of sorts with neighboring walls. Judging by the lack of activity, they were dead, and probably for the best. Obviously villains, but what they were didn’t matter.

     “It would appear, that I am late to this small meeting.” she utters, having stood and stared at them all from her quiet distance some moment or so. Her hands were pocketed in the short leather jacket adorned that cold day, with the last bits of a pocky stick receding behind rosy lips. “I do not know who you all are, as you are new to me. I don’t know the full detail of this killing either, but am aware that it was far from defense.” she adds, her tone as devoid of human emotion as her visage.

     “You have two choices: Leave, and never return, lest you be kill on sight. Or, be killed on site, right now.” It was a warning. A threat. A challenge. It was three choices on how to perceive her words. It would appear that the ringleader was, indeed, the man that wore more color than his counterparts, and his decision would also befall to his subordinates.

Her way of doing things is unforgiving. Relentless. Precise.

An arm moved off in her peripheral. A gun now being pointed, likely her head, or was that her torso in their sights? It didn’t matter. She was staring into visible gold optics.

     “Excellent.” she comments, with more satisfaction to break the monotone. Her statuesque posture now donning a tilting snow white head.

There was no other warning provided at the threat that came with her silence.

Barbs of black jut abruptly from the pavement, making a quick fatality of some still-standing persons. Some were luckily quick to evade. The loaded bullet had gone off the moment the ground broke. The silver being fiddled between each newly visible pitch black finger, like a coin trick. It was inspected, briefly, before her arm went, as did a question. “I believe you want this back?”

Far worse that a gun’s use, the force behind her throw would send the sharpshooter backwards from impact, as if they’d received a punch to the gut. Swept against the hard brick with the previous victims, now with a bullet in his chest.

     “To dress like the plague, and to die like the plague...” she muses to herself, sauntering forward to break off the remaining spear-like protrusions, releasing their hold from the hearts of the fallen. Exactly like a spear, it was an executing throw to two --- “Birds with one stone.”

Her movement was fluid, hunting down the last, if not the sliest of the lot. He looked like he had a plan, with the way he hid around a corner, and she purposefully went his same path. Finding a palm outstretch with intent to grab, but it was one of those things he shouldn’t do with someone who is particularly dangerous in close-quarters.

He was grabbed from the wrist, and thrown against an adjacent wall. As small as she seemed, it was not all what she brought upon them. This strength, this speed, unhindered accuracy... So very inhuman, and so very different than what the quirk-evolved society developed. An unknown force best left unrecognized.

 A pale and dainty palm met the back of his head, pushing his forehead harshly into the old brickwork. From the center of soft flesh, exited a sharp black barb that pierced the skull.

It’s broken off, and left in his brain. The body tossed to the left at her ‘heels’.

A platoon of servants were on their way to collect the corpses, the victims that came from this group’s misbehavior, and the body that will serve like the rest in the next few days.

No words were necessary. Not even to the panicked few around the area. The quiet peace will come shortly, until time comes again that someone else will fall prey to arrogance.

#cconfiguration #This is so sloppily done I can do so much better than this but #I hope it's okay

[sakuraxakatsukifanfictions]

My three Annoying Teachers (SakuAka) - Chapter 1

Title: My three annoying teachers

Universe: High school meaning none Naruto/ninja universe.

Summary: It was cliche. It was forbidden. It was also kind of kinky. Yet here they were, teachers and friends competing over a student. An honor student no less. They had to be insane yet somehow they just didn't care anymore. (I'm pretty sure someone helped me writing the summary and edit a bit of the story, but I don't remember right now .)

Second Summary: Being an honor student, Haruno Sakura preferred it that way. Where no one bothered her, but what happens as she gets attention from her teachers? And even starts to dream about them? This was so unreal for the pinkette, her teachers were now even haunting her dreams, but, they were different from their usual selves, she was used to..SakuAka, SakuDei, SakuSaso, SakuItachi,SakuGaara

Rating: M (For future lemons and cussing, ehm :P )

Status: Non completed, will be a multi-chaptered story.

Parings: SakuAka and some Sakucentric(meaning other than the akatsuki may appear such as Kakashi, Haku, Gaara, Kiba etc) but main focus on SakuSaso, SakuDei, and SakuIta. (but that doesn't mean the other sakura parings won't have screen time, 'cause they will have screen time with our dear blossom. xD)

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or their characters, but this plot-idea is mine alone! XD ( I haven't read anything like this! Well I don't think I have...have you?)

Sakura's schedule;

Monday;

8-9.10 am Mathematics

9.20-10.40 am History

10.50-12 am self studies

12-12.40 am lunch

12.40-14.40 pm art

Tuesday;

Home studies

Wednesday;

(the other days, with her schedule will be updated soon!)

My three annoying teachers

chapter 1; second term start!

Now it was my second year of high school. I was a seventeen year old girl, but my mom liked to call me an adult teenager while I was convinced I was not near stature. Sure I had a smart brain, but I could act childish when I felt like it. I wasn't fond of adults, standing next to one made me feel inexperience. So, why not act like the child you are?

I was on my way to school. An ordinary high school, really. The only thing that was different with just our school was that all the teachers were male, although the school was for both sexes. There were three teachers who annoyed me the most out of everyone at the school. I could not understand why I was so angry, turning mad with rage by just looking at them. I had them last year and now I hoped that I would be free from their clutches. But no, he up there has never liked me so why should he listen to my prayers now?

Well let me start with my math teacher Uchiha Itachi. I knew who his brother was and I confess that I had feelings for him and that was some years back when we were kids. My feelings for him has subsided. Sasuke ignored me and acted like a jerk towards my younger years. Now I didn't exchange a word with him, he wasn't worth my precious time. Anyway, why I didn't like Itachi was that he always had cold eyes (like his younger brother), he showed emptiness on the outside, and probably there was nothing inside either, just darkness. That was what I believed and still he had not shown me wrong, so maybe I was correct the entire time?

Then there exists my history teacher Akasuna Sasori. Now this man was nothing as cold as Itachi, he would actually speak (more than Itachi anyways) to the students, explaining and such. But, he did had a kind of temper while Itachi was just cold and Sasori-sensei never seemed interested in helping us, it looked like he wanted to be left alone, and not disturbed. Sometimes I could swear I heard him mutter some ungrateful things about having stupid students. Thank god I never needed any help, well when I did, I spoke to a teacher who would actually be kind, and help me. And this teacher was a school nurse even though he was male, but he did look like a girl; he had long, smooth, dark hair while for his eyes had a brown shade, and his skin was a silky white. The school nurse was indeed a male, you could tell when you heard his voice. It was dark and masculine.

The third teacher, compared to the other two, was much kinder to us. He taught art. Art was my favorite subject next to athletics, I have always had a thing for running. It made all my thoughts go away until it would flow into my head once more. Getting back to the main subject shall we, as I said before I adore art, especially drawing. Drawing was one of my talents and that was mostly all I did on art class. Once, on a Thursday evening Deidara-sensei confronted me, and asked me to do a sculpture. He told me he would be so kind and teach me. I of course declined, sculptures weren't my thing, and beside it was just so hard. It annoyed the hell out of me when he did it so easily while I sucked and couldn't even make a ball out of the stupid clay. That was only a small pice of why he annoyed the shit out of me. Deidara-sensei was the only teacher that flirted with students on campus. It disgusted me so, every time my eyes looked their way I was near puking.

That was my three very annoying teachers. My first lesson had to be math with Itachi-sensei. Bleh, hated to call them for sensei, they didn't even act like a proper teacher should be! But what can I say about it, even the headmaster didn't listen to a word I said. Probably cause he had known those three, and the rest of the teachers all his life or something like that. I couldn't even remember his name, maybe cause I never did spoke to him, expect for that time when I tried to make them all three suspended from the school grounds. Of course, as usual it didn't go my way. I stopped trying to talk some sense into that principal. I'll have to just make a ticket of my own for them to leave.

This wasn't the time and place to talk about my teachers. My class would start in five minutes, I noticed when I side glanced at my watch which was tight around my right wrist.

'It's your own fault Saku,' this person here was my inner, another personality tucked into my mind.

"Shut up," I said sternly, I wasn't up for her little games.

'Suit yourself, but remember dear, I'll never leave you as I am you,' inner could be pretty much creepy and sometimes I really wished I wouldn't be hearing from her. Talking to yourself at any place and time would be told as abnormally. If anyone saw me and heard what I said to myself they would think I'm crazy. And I was probably insane. Of course I'm nuts when you're actually talking to another person that resided in your mind and will probably never go away and leave you alone. Such was my life with a different personality living in my brain alongside with myself.

'Oh and Saku-chan~ Two minutes until the gate closes and you'll be late to Itachi-senseis class. Hopefully we will get a detention in the first time of our lives! Oh, and, and he can be naughty to us too, right?' I forgot to mention that she was a sex-maniac, while I was nothing like her.

Remembering that I would be late, I started running towards the gate almost shutting. I fastened my speed and made through it barely. I halted my steps and breathed in all the air my lungs could muster. It was a long time since I had a good run to school which would take my breath away. I was just glad I made it in time, now it was the classroom left on my list. Whatever I do, I would clearly be late. The classroom was far from the entrance to the school building and you needed to walk on many stairs as well.

Breathing normally now, I trudged over to the entrance doors of the high school. As soon I stood outside of it I pulled the two big doors aside and slipped inside swiftly. To no surprise the corridors were vacant of any person, meaning class has already started. To make sure of how much the time was I looked at my watch.

"8.05 am," only five minutes late so far, hopeful it wouldn't get to ten minutes or fifteenth.

I continued my way to the classroom, stepping on the stairs, walking to the next floor. Though my class resided on the third floor. I had one more staircase to go. When I finally got of the stairs to the third floor I saw my classroom's door open. It surprised me for a bit as it would always be closed at 8 am. Maybe I was lucky and the teacher hadn't even come yet. My legs started moving towards to the room in a slow pace.

I came to a stop outside of the classroom,"Inner," I whispered beneath my breath with a tinned blush across my cheeks, recalling what she told me earlier. "what exactly do you mean that Itachi-sensei will be naughty?"

'finally,' the other person heaved a tired sigh at me. 'I thought you wouldn't remember Saku-chan. That you forgot about me! But thank god you got it through our head. What I meant was let sleep with him, maybe he's awesome in bed? What do ya think Outer-chan?' at some very odd reason I could hear the smug smirk in the meaning of her words.

I immediately felt my heart race and my cheeks heat up. "I won't sleep with him, ever in my life will I do. He's a teacher and I am a student, do you really think we could be together? And besides I told you already I don't even like Itachi-sensei," I muttered angrily and embarrassed, I thought I got used to her rants but apparently I did not.

"Well," I heard a cough coming in front of me, nervously I bent up my head and was met with black ice-cold orbs. I gulped down the saliva in my mouth and kept silent. "you do not need to like me Haruno-san, but is that a reason to skip my class?"

"I-I wasn't really skipping..." I mumbled quietly.

"What was that Haruno-san?" his eyes were locked to mine, it felt like he looked through my very soul and they were so cold and empty, showing nothingness. It scared me how he could be so empty and at the same time terrifying. It was always hard to see when he was in a bad mood, but now I could feel a dark aura leaking out from him.

"N-nothing s-sir!" I shrieked due to being startled. His presence was overwhelming yet he snuck up on me so easily. It made him that much more intimidating.

Him inspecting me before speaking again didn't help either. "Come to my office after school let's out for the day. If you understand then I suggest you hurry to your next class." I would never complain about him being silent again. Hearing him talk so much made him seem like a predator who no longer hid himself from his pray simply because there was no longer a need. The prey was cornered and the predator sounded like he was gloating.

I nodded, though what he was saying didn't register until I walked into the classroom to find that nobody was there. What the hell? I looked up at him questioning the situation. Our eyes locked for what seemed like a century before I had to look away. His eyes were so cold I thought they might freeze.

Then the weirdest thing happened. He put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me until I was back out of the classroom. His touch seemed like such an intimate one that it has easily danced on the border of inappropriate. He looked down at me and bent down till his breath washed over my ear as he spoke. "My class has already ended, Sakura-san."

"I-I-I see." His presence and his touch were overpowering me and making me stammer despite being someone who had never stuttered till now. I'd never been singled out like this.

"If I recall correctly, your next class is with Sasori-san on the first floor." His breath was still tickling my ear. "If you don't hurry you'll be late again Sakura-san."

"I-I'll b-be g-g-going now," damn me and my stuttering!

I put my hand on top of his and pulled it away, then I left, my cheeks still hot from the sensation, and hurried down the stairs.

Minutes later I was down on the first floor again. There was no sign of anyone, don't tell me I would be late again?

"This is all you're fault I'm late for history class. Stupid inner," I muttered furiously, having her in my mind made my life worser than it already was.

Now when I think about it, I'm glad Itachi didn't hear my whole sentence. What would happen if he did? Detention or worse kill me? I guess I got lucky. What big luck I have, haha. I should stop being sarcastic...

'What? It was your own fault. How could you say that about a hot and stunning man like Itachi! You can't be me, how could you not fall for that beauty?' there she was again, ranting on like usual.

"That was not what I meant..." I growled maniacally below my breath. "Don't make this harder then it already is!"

'Whatever... Hey if you keep on talking with me won't you be late to that hot red head's lesson? Maybe he'll give us detention too! And then rape us,' I sighed at inner for being such a sex-maniac.

"I doubt that Sasori would do that," I told her with a small nod of my own.

"Do what Haruno?" I felt a dark presence loam behind me, his voice sounding like a poisonous snake. I was for big trouble now and it's all thanks to my other lovely personality. I so loved being sarcastic.

"N-nothing," I uttered in surprise.

"Then tell me your reason for skipping my class, Haruno. If the reason is good enough I won't let you sit behind after school. " he said with a bored tone as he got in front of me and blocked my view.

"Um..." I hesitated to answer. How could I tell him that it's cause I've been talking with another personality in my head and I forgot the time. He would think I was crazy to talk with myself. " I have no reason to skip your class Sasori-sensei." I was banging my head mentally against an invisible wall for not coming up with a better excuse.

"Then see me after school and bring your books, you may go now," he sounded annoyed, I bet he had something else planned and now he had to deal with me. Why am I so stupid, he'll kill me painfully now!

"Sasori-sensei," I said nervously and gained his attention, his eyes looked impatiently. He never did like waiting in the first place and here I was lingering. "I have to go and see Itachi-sensei too..."

"So it wasn't only my class that was skipped, Haruno? Very well. you can meet me as soon you're done there."

"Thank you," I bowed my respect even if I didn't respect him at all!

I couldn't be that girl I always was in class, like ignoring their help and glare at them trough the corner of my eyes. Face to face was to much for me, it was easier afar.

As my head was lowered, I heard footsteps echoing trough the ground until it disappeared completely.

"There he was gone, now I need to go to Kakashi-sensei's class," I murmured and started to run around in the corridors until I was finally there. The clock was 10.48 am, just in time for the lesson to begin. I entered the classroom and saw all my classmates. A girl with long blond hair held in a high pony tail waved at me. I then proceeded to go there.

"Hi Sakura," she greeted with a bright smile.

"Hi Ino," I nodded in acknowledgment.

"What's been up with you girl? You missed both Itachi-sensei and Sasori-sensie's classes!" she said loudly enough for my ears to bleed.

I covered my palm over her mouth and hushed her quietly while looking around the room incase anyone was listening. It seemed like no one heard, thankfully for Ino. I returned my green eyes on her blue ones. It looked like she mumbled something, I retreated my hand back so I was able to hear her talking.

"Damn you Sakura," she huffed, her lungs probably lacked of air. "and besides they already know you have skipped class or whatever you did."

I glared at her. "That doesn't mean you need to shout so loudly Ino-pig!"

"Forehead-girl," she shot back towards me and flared a winning smirk at my face.

We called ourselves by names when we argued, though even if we argue a lot she's still the best friend I could ever have.

"Class," our self studies' teacher called us out from our argument. "start studding now and Haruno Sakura-san, Itachi-san and Sasori-san want you to work on your math problems along with your history assignment."

Our self studies teacher was named Kakashi-sensei and he never really bothered with us. He always let us do whatever we wanted to do. It was something odd with him, he always wore a mask across his face expect for his gray eyes and he had gray hair. Talk about old... but he was only in his twenties or so I've heard.

"Yes," I yelled back and sighed. My eyes turned to Ino with tiredness. "already got an history assignment?" I asked her while I looked down to look for my bag but couldn't find it. "Ino do you know where my bag is?"

"Yes we have, Sasori-sensei said that we'll be punished if we wouldn't give it back in time. Oh and the due is this week on Wednesday," Ino glanced down towards me as I looked for any sign of a black leather school bag. "tch, tch Sakura you didn't enter with a bag, you were empty handed. Forgot it perhaps?"

"Damn," I swore under my breath. "How will I work on my history and math works!"

"Sucks to be you," she smirked and giggled.

"That's not funny you know! And Sasori-sensei told me to specifically bring my book with me, ugh, why me..." my shoulders slumped down in defeat.

'Omg! We will get an even greater punishment now! And hey, now when we can't do that history thing we'll get punished then too!' inner was cheering with drinking alcohol, celebrating my misfortune.

"Ugh," I groaned feeling my head throb in pain, I raised my arm high up in the air, my eyes glued to the masked teacher.

Without even looking he called my name. "Yes Sakura."

"My head hurts Kakashi-sensei. I need to go to the nurse office." I announced, my left hand massaging my throbbing head.

"You may go," at first he looked me into the eye before he agreed to it.

I said my small thanks and got up from the chair, leaving, getting out of the classroom. I sighed in relief and walked fast towards the nurse office. Thank god it was really close to the self studies classroom.

Standing outside of the half open door leading to the health room, I leaned on the door frame and scanned the room for the nurse. He wasn't there, the white room was vacant. My shoulders sunk down in place. I placed my left foot on the carpet and soon the other one joined. Moving into the room I shut the door closed behind me with a hard push of my knuckles.

'Hey,' inner came to life, oh how I loved my life. 'where's Haku? He's the only one that can make us happy and help us too! He's even more beautiful then me, ugh.'

"You mean us with that statement I suppose, inner?" my eyes hardened while my hands clenched in anger.

'No I don't. I mean me Saku, as you can see I'm more stunning then you.'

I sighed, 'this was getting quite annoying...'

'You know I can hear your thoughts right?'

"Ugh I don't care! And you told me we are the same freaking person!" I really didn't understand why her words were getting on my nerves, maybe cause I have been bullied the worse kind. I don't even want to remember...

'Ok, ok I'm sorry Saku. You are me and I am you, so we're the same.'

"When did you get so understanding?" I asked her, questions rising.

She pouted in a childish way. 'I have always been understanding, but you took no notice of it girl.'

"Well I'm sorry," I couldn't help the grin to make it's way up to my face as I rolled my eyes in a teasing manner.

I got an angry look from inner in return. It just made me burst out into giggles. Here I was laughing all alone, seeing me now I would clearly be called a maniac.

"Sakura-chan?" that voice, it was so familiar...I spun around to be met with a brown shade while his hair was black and long. The nurse had gotten back from whatever he was doing earlier.

"Haku-sensei, " I said with a dazzling smile across my red plump lips.

"How are you feeling?" he asked me with concern evident in his voice.

"I'm fine," I smiled. "just got a headache sensei."

"Did something happen on your first day of school Sakura?"

"Hehe" I laughed for a bit. "Yup." I summarized my morning for him. I had expected some worry so it was no surprise when his usual concerned look flashed across his too beautiful face.

"Will there be anyone else in detention or just you?" Haku asked as he went to get some ibuprofen for my headache.

"I think just me, but what difference does it make? They'll find some way to tick me off whether someone else is there or not." I stated matter of factly.

A dark look flashed across the nurse's face for a moment. In the next instant it was gone and I thought that maybe I was imagining things. I do talk to an inner on a daily basis so it was definitely possible.

Haku made his way over to me and petted my head in a big brother fashion. "I just don't want you to be arrested for killing your own teachers." He teased.

I pouted. The way he talked you'd think I had a criminal record somewhere.

"Haku-sensei," I whined childishly, as he only laughed in response to my disbelief, and combed through my pink locks, with his fingertips. "I wouldn't kill them... Maybe hurt them, sure, but kill..." I murmured, glancing at him with my famous puppy eyes, and then an idea shot through my head, and grinned evilly towards him. "Haku-sensei, can I skip Deidara's lesson in here? Tell him, I'm sick or something, please?" I begged, faking a few tear drops leaving my eyes, as I also pretended to feel hurt.

"Sakura..." he started and I only coughed in reply, swinging to the sides of the bed, as if I would pass out any minute now. "Sakura..." He called me again, but I ignored it with an inward smirk, and fell down towards the bed, my eyes closed.

"Sensei, I'm hurting, it hurts," I repeated, throwing the back of my hand above my forehead, and faking it all. I felt curious wash over me, so I had to quirk one eye open, and glance to him. I was not surprised at all, to see that he was worried about me, and when he heaved a low sigh, I mentally cheered in my mind. I had just won this round and it made me quite happy as well. I saw how Haku-sensei, went over to grab a hold of the phone. He clicked a few buttons, before he put it to his hear, and then waited for someone to pick up.

"Ah hello Deidara-sensei, this is Haku, the nurse. I am having Haruno Sakura from your class, rest in the infirmary. She has a stomachache and feel a bit nauseous, so I do not think it is appropriate for her to join your classes, my apologizes. " with that said, Haku-sensei said his goodbies to Deidara-sensei, and hung up.

A few moments of silence passed and he turned to stare at me, with an distress expression tilting his face. "You will have to join Deidara's detention later, to be able to keep up with the class, or so he said."

I only nodded as answer, I was too tired to care that I had to go to that blonde teacher's detention too. None the less, I had an real bad feeling about all of this... Like something would happen at their detentions... They might want to break me, but I will not go down so easily, and that is for sure!

'OMFG SAKURA, I must say I really LOVE YOU, right now! I mean, first, we'll have to go to Itachi-sensei's detention, gosh that sexy guy~ I fucking want that piece of meat to myself! Really! And after that, we shall meet the red head, Sasori-sensei~ He's another piece of hottie, ain't he Sakura? And then, we have Deidara-sensei! Who wouldn't like having that guy's face close to your own,' I took notice of Inner getting back to her own little perverted word, as she explained all of her plans to me, and I only rolled my eyes to her chants.

"Like I said... I do not like any of them, stupid inner," I muttered silently, into the bedsheets, so Haku-sensei wouldn't be able to hear me.

"Sakura, I'm going out for a bit, have a good rest," he told me kindly, earning my attention, and then I saw him smile before he took off.

I smiled as well and did a small waving to him, seeing the door getting shut as he exited the room, I relaxed my shoulder blades of finally being alone. I couldn't help but feeling tensed earlier, since Haku let out an unfamiliar aura, when he had finished talking with Deidara-sensei.

'This was about time,' I thought, while stretching out my arms in the open, and yawning for a bit. 'Taking a nap, doesn't sound so bad after all.' with that thought, I stripped off of my shirt, bra, and pants, only leaving my panties on. I was a person, who could not fall asleep with clothes on, nor with a bra on. I never really liked how tight a bra was put at my breasts, oh well, I was too lazy in the moment to care, if anyone would see me like this. Haku wouldn't be back for probably awhile and rarely anyone entered the infirmary while he was gone. He after all usually put notes on the doorframe.

I made myself ready for bed, yawning a last time, and crawled beneath of the bed covers. But as I was laying there silently, trying to fall asleep, I heard the twist of the doorknob, and the dragging of the door. I did not move any of my muscles, my eyes snapped closed, and I only used my ears to listen for anything abnormal.

"There she is mhm, Sakura-chan dares to miss my class, " the familiar voice of Deidara-sensei entered my eardrums and I almost gasped out of surprises, but stopped myself before I made any sounds.

"Indeed, I have a special gift for her, since she missed my class so openly," and that was Itachi's angered voice, who would have thought, that that emotionless bastard could sound pissed! God damn it, why did my inner had to be so horrible, and destroy everything for me...

"Sakura dear, you should regret missing my lesson," Sasori stated calmly, sounding somewhat bored as he spoke, and I could feel his stare on my shielded back. "Why is her clothes lying on the floor?" he noted to himself and then chuckled slightly, making me more puzzled.

"She's naked, is that what she expected us too? Seems like our little honor student, expected this," he said with a small laugh erupting from his lungs.

"Ah, Sasori, you're right! She does look like she's fighting for us, doesn't she ?Mhm, if I knew she was a naughty girl like this, I would have already deflowered her with my essence," Deidara said with proudness hinted at his voice and I blushed at once, at the words he said about me, and himself..

'Omfg, it's finally happening! They, they're here to attack us outer-chan! They're going to sleep with us! FINALLY! I have seriously waited for this in ages!' Inner screamed inside of my head, making an headache appear beneath of my skull bones. I only growled back inwardly and clutched the bedsheets underneath of my hands.

"Well then, it is time for the show..." Itachi said, sounding cold, and deviously, to whatever would happen to me... 'Oh god, somebody help me!'

Chapter 1; end

This one is uploaded on my fanfiction account, but I haven’t been active for so long with this story... So I thought of giving it a try and upload here on tumblr! I hope you enjoy this Sakura x Akatsuki story <3

#Sakura x Akatsuki #Haruno Sakura #Akatsuki #Sasori #Deidara #Itachi #SakuIta #SakuSaso #SakuDei #SakuGaa #SakuMulti #Fan fiction #Fanfiction #writing #Naruto #Mature #Lemons

[katzirra]

#kat talks #naruto nonsense