*Deidara, coming out of anesthesia at the dentist's office*
Deidara: Whooooa ... everything looks so pretty ...
Sasori, sitting in the chair next to him: You look pretty too, all doped up and happy.
Deidara: *turns his head to look at Sasori* Whoooo … are you?
Sasori: I’m here to sit with you while you recover, and then take you home with me.
Deidara: Oi, I don’t just go home with strangers, hm. I’m not that kind of guy. You need to at least ask me on a date before you try and take me home, man.
Sasori: A date, huh? Alright; in about two weeks I’m attending a wedding, and I would love it if someone as beautiful as you could accompany me. What do you say?
Deidara, dreamily: Ooooh, a wedding! I love weddings! They’re so romantic … hell yeah I’ll be your date, hm! Is it a friend getting married?
Sasori: No, actually; it’s me.
Deidara:
Deidara: YOU’RE asking ME to be YOUR DATE on your wedding day?! What a fuckin’ scumbag asshole! Somebody needs to warn whoever’s stupid enough to marry you that you’re already planning on cheating on them and you haven’t even said “I Do” yet!
Deidara: *gets up and heads for the door* God, why is it that all the cute guys I meet are so damn awful, hm?!
Receptionist: You’d better catch your fiancé before he gets too far; he still seeems pretty out of it …
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Happy Valentines Day, @fernybee-art! I went for kage au so here's how the international relations are done with these three.
Part 2 only available in @akasakurevival and @sasori-bunraku servers as it's very spicey.
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his long hair and murderous tendencies have bewitched me body and soul
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*Sasori sitting on top of a small hill and making adjustments to/cleaning Hiroku, while Deidara, Hidan and Itachi bathe in the river below*
Zetsu: *pops up out of the ground next to Sasori* Ah, here you all are. Leader sent me to check on you, as he expected everyone back hours ago.
Sasori: We ran into a dust storm on our way back. Their skin was coated in soot, so I deemed it necessary to have them clean themselves before we returned to the hideout.
Zetsu: *chuckles* “To the hideout”; who would have thought such a sentence possible several years ago?
Sasori: Mm. I’ll admit that I had my misgivings when Pein-sama voiced his desire that we all live together in a permanent residence, but, overall I believe it was a good choice. Apparently having a “home” to come back to and the promise of consistent meals has done everyone some good, mentally and physically. *points* Look at how much healthier those three look, for example. I can no longer count each of their ribs through their clothes.
Zetsu: I agree. Deidara especially. He seems so much more comfortable in his own skin, especially after you did that procedure for him.
*the two look down at Deidara, where the twin scars on his chest show as he splashes in the water*
Sasori: It was the least I could do. I know what it is, to feel as though you’re not in the right body. It’s why I turned myself into a puppet, after all. Helping him to look more the way he wanted to look … a small thing, compared to that smile he always has now.
Zetsu: He didn’t wish to cut his hair though?
Sasori: No; he adores his long hair. Spends forever taking care of it every night.
Zetsu: Mm. And the others have been supportive?
Sasori: Yes. Well, Hidan was his usual crude and tactless self at first. Told quite a few hurtful jokes. But I took him aside and helped him see the error of his ways.
Zetsu: Oh? How so?
Sasori: I simply told him that if the disrespect continued, I would wait until he fell asleep and give him a little “elective surgery” as well. In the end he decided he would like his penis to remain where it is, and NOT sewn onto his face.
Zetsu:
Happy Birthday, @denerturee 🤗🎉😘
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How about Sakura wearing Sasori, Deidara or Kisame’s outfits? Like some outfits that aren’t from Akatsuki?
took me some time but here we are: pre-akatsuki outfit swap <3
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