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badalivie · 4 months

Text

when you faint on stage

warnings: unhealthy diets, cursing, and some mentions of blood

seungcheol!

“I can’t. My performance is in a couple minutes” You huffed, almost tripping over because of the lack of feeling you had in your left leg.

“slow down” Seungcheol grabbed a hold of your waist and pulled you back up on your feet “y/n please.” Just as he tried to beg you again, your group was called to perform. He could only watch as you hauled yourself onto the stage and smiled brightly, waving and making hearts at the cameras. He hated seeing his members in pain during performances and not being able to do anything to help them. So imagine how he felt watching you, the love of his life, haul yourself onto the stage like a soldier with a duty to battle.

After 3 excruciating minutes, you were able to finish the performance. Seungcheol kept his eyes on you like a hawk throughout the performance. Biting his nails, tapping his foot, peeling the skin on his lips. He felt like his heart was going to burst from worry. The way your eyes began to close and the way your foot was fighting for balance didn’t go unnoticed by him. Just as the lights shut off, you lost consciousness. Seungcheol was fast enough to catch you before you hit the ground, tearing his slacks as his knees slid across the floor. “Y/n, doll, come on” He lightly tapped your cheeks and stroked your head “Fuck.” He cursed, picking you up bridal style and running to your waiting room.

“I don’t care what you think! I’m asking you why you thought it was okay to overwork y/n like this! Extreme diets, 17 hour schedules, are you out of your mind?! You think being an idol is easy?”

The voice of your boyfriend yelling slowly woke you up. “Baby..?” You muttered. Seungcheol’s head snapped towards you when he heard your voice and he instantly kneeled down to your eye level while you lay on the couch.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He smiled sweetly while he waved your manager and other staff away with one motion of his hand.

“Dizzy” you replied, trying to get up

“hey hey, slow down” Seungcheol placed his hands on your back and helped you sit up. “drink.” He gently held your chin as he guided you to drink from the water bottle he had bought earlier, feeding you like a baby. You drank a good amount before pushing the bottle away. “Good girl.” Seungcheol cooed, stroking the side of your head and tucking your hair behind your ear.

“what happened?”

“you passed out.” He frowned

“Oh shit not again” you face palmed. Seungcheol’s eyebrows crashed together.

“again? how many times has this happened?” He grabbed your wrist tightly and pulled it away from your face, forcing you to look at him. “Tell me.” He pressed.

“Just like… three or four times”

A serious, yet worried, expression washed over his features. “I knew it. I knew something was up with you. Why didn’t you tell me?” You sensed a hint of anger in his voice even though he tried his hardest to suppress it. You knew how careful he was with you, always making sure you never bumped into anything or strained yourself too much (which you were grateful for), so you didn’t want to trouble him when you started passing out and kept it a secret.

“because I knew you’d react like this.” You sighed.

His face scrunched up in what seemed to be annoyance before he took a breath and relaxed “of course I’m going to react like this, y/n. I’m your boyfriend, all I want is for you to be happy, and healthy. You can’t expect me to be anything less than worried.” He sighed, eventually calming down, and rested his forehead against yours.

“I’m sorry,” You said, attempting to calm his nerves knowing he was probably exploding internally. You rubbed your hands up and down his arms, which you could feel made him physically relax. “It won’t happen again.”

“It definitely won’t. I’ll make sure of that. You’re gonna be okay. I’m here now.”

He’d definitely watch over you like a hawk for the rest of the month. He’d make sure you ate 3 meals a day and had a decent amount of sleep. Your manager adjusted your schedule to make it a bit lighter. How could he not? He was too scared to find out what Seungcheol would to do him if he didn’t ease up on you.

jeonghan!

“so you think I’m weak and can’t handle it?”

“That’s not what I meant at all and you know it.” Jeonghan exasperated

“Yeah well, that’s what it sounded like to me.”

Jeonghan sighed and reached for your arm, rubbing up and down “I just worry for you... That’s all...” Before you could respond, your group was called to the stage. The heartbreak he felt when you shook his hand off was incomprehensible. It started off as a joke. He was teasing you about how pale you were, but when he noticed how weak you actually were, his mood changed. “You can’t go on stage like this y/n.” “You’re too... frail...” “Look at you! You look like you’re going to fall over any minute!” Were some of the things he said. Considering your exhaustion and all his prior teasing, you were not having any of it, which lead to a small dispute.

Jeonghan quietly returned to his seat by his members when the event continued. He kept his eyes fixated on you the whole time. Every time your balance faltered, and when your knees hit the ground too hard, he flinched in his seat. You managed to get to the end of the performance, but before you could strike the ending pose, you fell to the ground. The crowd gasped and the camera flashes went wild.

Jeonghan calmly stood up and excused himself from his members, who all understood where he was going. He heard the voices of your concerned members through the speakers, but he never sped up his pace as he made his way backstage. The pace he was walking at was driving him insane. When he got backstage, away from the cameras, his legs mindlessly began to speed up, taking him faster and faster until he was sprinting to your waiting room.

Jeonghan’s heart sank when he saw you with an oxygen mask strapped to your face. He immediately turned to your manager and lost it.

You woke up to the sound of your boyfriends voice and that irritating tone of his. You only heard it when you got in big arguments with him. It was that tone that made you think he wasn’t taking you seriously, like he was mocking you. It drove you crazy. But hearing what he was saying made your heart warm.

“So what did you expect her to do? Just take it and soldier though? Do you hear yourself right now? What do you want me to say? ‘You’re a genius!’ Pull yourself together dumbass. Look at the state she’s in! Did you not have enough brain to think this far? Do you think she’s a robot?! This is what happens to a person if you don’t let them rest!”

You gently reached your hand and grazed your fingertips over Jeonghan’s hand. A shiver crawled up his spine at the contact. “Baby…” Your boyfriend fell to his knees by your side, brushing your hair back. The staff all silently slipped outside of the room, partly because they were scared of Jeonghan, but because they also wanted to give you two privacy. “I’m sorry for earlier. I shouldn’t have been hard on you…” He immediately apologized.

“I’m sorry too. I know you care for me… I shouldn’t have let my exhaustion rub off on you.”

Jeonghan shook his head and smiled sweetly at you “It’s okay. I know I have those moments with you too, and honestly I’d rather you be open to me about how you’re feeling. Okay? Don’t hide it from me.” He grabbed some water and a snack from the coffee table next to you. “Please eat something. You know how hard it was for me to just watch you eat only fruits at home?”

You sat up slowly and debated at first, but when you saw the way Jeonghan was looking at you with his worried, begging eyes, you had to say yes. “Just a small bag of cheetos. That’s it.”

“It’s a step” He chirped, popping the bag open and feeding you pieces of the snack one by one.

He’d watch over you silently but diligently for the next few months. He’d subtly try to up your food intake without you noticing and he’d always cuddle you after eating a large meal, almost like a reward.

shua!

"you’re bleeding!”

You felt blood trickle down from your nose, the droplets landing on your stage outfit. Joshua ran to your side and wiped your nose with a tissue. “This is bad, y/n. Really bad.”

“I’m fine. This happens a lot” You said nonchalantly, stuffing some tissue up your nostril.

“a lot? y/n you need to see a doctor!”

“I’m fine, shua...” You tried to reassure him, but it obviously wasn’t working.

“y/n please.”

Just on cue, you were called to the stage to perform. Joshua grabbed your wrist, asking you to stay and take a break. He didn’t let go up until the very last second. He watched your performance from his seat anxiously. It was obvious to him that your blood was still trickling down from your nose. You kept looking up and wiping your nose when you walked to the side of the stage. You were like a ticking time bomb.

Just before the last chorus could start, you dropped your microphone and fell onto the cold wooden floor. One of your members helped you up and carried you backstage with the help of some staff while your other members continued the performance. Joshua pushed through the crowd and burst through the backstage doors, booking it towards your waiting room.

“y/n!” His heart sank at the sight of you laid out on the couch. Grabbing a blanket, he threw it over your body and fell to his knees beside you. Joshua grabbed your hand and brought it up to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on the back. After about 15 minutes, you regained consciousness.

“Shua..?”

“you’re awake... how do you feel?”

It took you a second to answer, feeling too drowsy to even evaluate your physical state “not so good.”

Joshua sighed and brushed your hair back, whispering softly “we’re seeing a doctor tomorrow.”

“Joshua there’s no need-”

“No. You are not arguing with me on this. I should have been more stern with you.” His voice was sharp, yet his eyes were still gentle as ever, afraid of hurting or scaring you. “We’re seeing a doctor and that’s the end of the story. If there’s something wrong with you, I want to know, I want to help. I don’t want to regret not taking you to the doctor. I can’t take that risk. I can’t to lose you...”

You cupped his cheeks and planted a gentle kiss on his forehead “And you wont...” He melted upon hearing those words of reassurance, bringing his hands up to yours and pressing them closer to his face, moving his head to the side to kiss one of your palms. “What time do we have to go tomorrow?”

“After we get enough rest.”

The doctor said you were suffering from burnout and exhaustion and advised you to get lots of rest. Joshua was happy that you didn’t have any serious life threatening conditions and that helping you get better was something he had power over. He’d pamper you but also be strict with your recovery, scolding you whenever you didn’t eat enough saying “you didn’t eat a lot, you just ate more than usual.”

jun!

Jun was usually soft-spoken toward you. He always respected and trusted your decisions whatever they may be. So when you were depriving yourself of your basic needs and deteriorating your health, he had no idea how to talk to you about it. You’d never put yourself in a situation that needed his intervention before so he had no idea how to tackle it. His hesitation lasted weeks, with multiple occasions of him saying he wanted to talk to you about something that was concerning him but it ending up with him getting too nervous and changing the topic to something else.

“Love, can we talk please?”

“Of course Junnie. What is it?”

“Are you okay-“

Before Jun could finish you were called by your manager, telling you to get on stage. You told him you’d talk to him later and ran into positions. Jun bit his lip, frowning at how the outfit you were wearing brought out how much weight you’d lost.

You were out of breath and wobbly on stage, something even the audience took notice of. Mid-performance, as your verse was coming up, you fell onto the ground, landing hard on your shoulder. Jun flinched and instinctively ran to you, propping you up on his lap and cradling your face in his hands. The cameras went wild, the flashes almost blinding him. Soon after, staff came to the stage, blocking the two of you from sight and lifted you onto a stretcher. Jun followed the staff that took you to your waiting room with his heart stuck in his throat. He knew that there would be consequences to coming on stage and letting the media see him with you like that, but he didn’t care. He just needed to make sure you were okay. After all, as long as he had you by his side, he could take on the world.

It took about 20 minutes to wake up. You blinked your eyes open to see Jun sitting on a chair across from you, head in his hands. “Junhui...” You called. He jolted when he heard your voice and knelt by your side in a flash.

“y/n! I was so worried! When you fainted I- I didn’t know what to do I-... I was so scared.” You cupped his cheeks and brought his face closer to yours, pressing a gentle kiss against his lips.

“I’m sorry.”

“You can’t keep scaring me like this, y/n. I can’t keep watching you do this to yourself. I can’t take it. This is where I draw the line.”

“Junhui...”

“Listen to me, y/n” His voice was sharp and stern, a polar opposite from his usual gentle tone. After noticing the shock on your face, he took a deep breath and softened his approach “ Please... We’re seeing a doctor, and getting you a dietitian.”

“Junnie, I can handle myself. I don’t need a dietitian-”

“That wasn’t a request, y/n. I’m getting you one”

You knew by the way he was stalking to you that there was no changing his mind. Though, you did realize that if you hadn’t pushed yourself so far, he wouldn’t have been so stern with you. Deep down, you knew he cared about you.

“Okay... Thank you, Junhui...”

His eyes softened “I’ll never let anything happen to you. You know that right?”

“I know... But hey, on a side note, I like you being strict. It’s really cute~”

“stop it” He giggled, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in for a kiss.

Jun would be very gentle and supportive in your recovery, making sure you knew he would be with you every step of the way. He’d send gentle reminders to eat the snacks he packed you with sticky notes of motivational messages and cradle you to sleep, smiling when he gradually felt your body gain a little more fat every time he held you.

wonwoo!

“stop it.” Wonwoo chided

“Leave me alone, Won.”

“Y/N!”

“JUST GO!” You shook his arm off, stumbling as you did so. “if you’re not going to support me, just leave.”

“you can’t keep doing this. Your body can’t handle it.”

“I know what I can and can’t handle, Won.” The way you seethed his name left a bitter taste in his mouth. He exhaled and gently tried to reach for you again.

“y/n, please... I don’t want to fight.”

You sighed “me too... Just-... I’ll catch you after my performance”. Wonwoo wanted to reach for you again and say something, but no words were coming out of his mouth. The two of you almost got in a really big fight, he knew the both of you needed space. Still, he never stopped worrying about you, not even for a second.

Wonwoo could barely sit still while you performed on stage. Every time you fell too hard on your knees or twisted your ankle, he winced. Before he knew it, in the blink of an eye, you were on the ground, motionless and cold. He jolted up from his seat, watching in horror as the staff carried you backstage. He felt his legs take him to your waiting room where he found you laid out on the couch.

Wonwoo took deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself, loosening his tie and grabbing a chair to sit beside you. He couldn’t stay still no matter how much he tried, so he grabbed a bucket, a towel, and some iced water. He dipped the towel in the iced water and wrung it before placing it on your forehead. “come on y/n...” He whispered, brushing his fingers through your hair.

“Won..?” You blinked your eyes open

“Oh thank God” Wonwoo exasperated “You have no idea how worried I was. I just blinked and the next thing I knew you were on the ground! I-”

“I’m sorry...”

“huh..? for what, love?”

“for earlier...” You lowered your head “You were right and I... I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Oh baby, you’re tired and stressed. I get it. I’m not upset because of that, I’m upset because I don’t like seeing you get hurt.” He rubbed your now bruised knees gently with his hands. “Listen, let’s get you help. Okay? You’re having problems staying up and eating and breathing and just… You need help, y/n, and I’ll give it to you. You just need to let me in. Let me help you help yourself. How does that sound?”

You stayed silent, letting Wonwoo think you were debating it in your head when in reality you already knew the answer. Of course, you would listen to him, why wouldn’t you? What kept you silent is how long it took for you to finally let yourself get help. “Okay… Let’s go to the doctor…”

“Thank you” Wonwoo wrapped his arms around you and held you as close to him as humanly possible. The two of you would have a long, thorough conversation about how you would be handling your health and what steps you’d be taking to get back to proper health. Wonwoo was patient and respectful throughout the whole process, hearing your concerns but also making his side known.

He’d say he trusted you enough to take care of yourself but he’d always be subtly looking after you even if you didn’t notice. Lots of small gestures like putting more food on your plate or getting you juice after practice and opening bottles for you.

woozi!

“This is your fault! Look at what you’ve done to her! Are you proud of yourself?!” Your hearing was muffled but you could make our your boyfriend’s voice in the room, yelling. When you tried opening your eyes, you saw his figure facing your manager, who had a guilty expression on his face. “I told you time and time again that it was too much! You never listened! Now, look what happened! You sacrificed her health for magazine shoots! Are you out of your mind?! You watched her get worse and worse and did nothing! have you no remorse?”

“jihoon-ah...” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear. Jihoon froze. “baby, come here” His head snapped in your direction, and when he saw you looking at him, the crease between his eyebrows immediately disappeared. His rage had disappeared into thin air, immediately replaced with worry.

“hey, you’re finally awake.” He fell to his knees by your side, smiling weakly. His voice had taken a total 180 from how he was speaking to your manager just a few seconds ago (who was now trying to leave the room without making a single noise, afraid of what Jihoon would do to him).

“what’s going on..? why am I here..?”

“You passed out on stage.”

“I did?” You tried sitting up, but you felt too tired to do so. Jihoon noticed and placed his hand on your back to help you sit up, placing pillows on your back to support you.

“yeah. everyone was worried. I was worried.” Jihoon breathed, resting his forehead against yours. That was a habit of his whenever he was stressed. You indulged him, letting him hold you for as long as he wanted, knowing how worried he must have been. The silence was broken by a small sniffle coming from your boyfriend. “Jihoon?” You asked, partially worried but also shocked. He rarely cried. “Why are you crying?”

“I can’t take this anymore. Do you have any idea how scared I was?!” He raised his voice a little, a few tears streaking down his cheeks. “You come home at 3 in the morning with barely enough energy to give yourself a bath! You barely eat, you barely sleep, and you barely call anymore. Day and night I worry if you’re okay because you’ve started getting bloody noses often and you have a hard time standing and you don’t even want to eat your favorite foods with me anymore! It’s killing me seeing you like this. The worst part is you won’t talk to me about it! I have to find out through the staff and your friends! Do you have any idea how it makes me feel to find out that my girlfriend’s health is deteriorating right before my eyes and I barely noticed?!”

“Jihoon... I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was affecting you this much.” You cupped his cheeks and wiped his tears “I’m fine, baby. See? I’m right here. I’m going to be okay”

“You say that but you haven’t shown me anything to back it up. You’re getting worse, y/n. I know your schedule has been hectic because of your comeback but you have to take care of yourself too. If you wont do it for yourself, at least do it for me... please...”

“I will, I’m sorry. I’ll fix it. I’ll make everything right.”

“we.” he corrected “I’m with you, remember? every step of the way. I’d appreciate it if you talked to me more. Let me know when you’re in pain, when you’re tired, or sick. I want to know everything.”

“I will, I promise. I won’t hide anymore. Thank you, love. For everything”

Jihoon didn’t say anything in reply and simply kissed you. He was very patient throughout your recovery and basically nursed you back to health himself. He would often push you but you knew he only wanted what was best for you. Every time you overcame a challenge he gave you he’d reward you with cuddles on the couch or a date. You’re so incredibly lucky to have him.

myungho!

“It’s not healthy, love”

“I know but I… I need to lose weight. I don’t want to disappoint the fans”

“You don’t need to lose weight. You’re perfect. Anyway, your real fans would love you no matter how you look. Just like I do.” He stroked your cheek gently, unable to hide the concern on his face. “and you know I’m your biggest fan, right?”

After minutes of constant reassurance, Myungho finally let you join your group to prepare to go on stage. He watched the performance with his lip caught between his teeth. He doesn’t remember the last time he was this anxious. He knew your group had a difficult choreography, and he scolded you a lot at home for starving yourself to this extent. Myungho had watched your mental health spiral downwards after one particular meeting with your manager, where it all started. No words could possibly express how he felt when he noticed you getting smaller and smaller every time he hugged you. The least he could do was try to reduce your anxiety by cuddling you when you got home, cooking you your favorite snacks, making you tea, or even slow dancing with you to your favorite songs on the record player. He did everything he could, but he couldn’t help you if you didn't want to help yourself, which made it all the more difficult for him to watch.

You were a very sharp person, heck, you were the main dancer. You were a perfectionist, so when he saw you falter on one of the dance steps, he knew something was definitely wrong. You managed to finish the performance, but you were more out of breath than you should have been, and Myungho especially caught the way you couldn’t stand straight while your leader was giving a speech. “Y/n!” He whisper-yelled, which you barely managed to hear. You turned your head and looked at him dead in the eyes “come to me” He mouthed, opening his arms to you. You wanted to walk to him and just rest your weight on him, but you couldn’t seem to feel your legs. All you could do was smile before your vision turned black.

Myungho instinctively ran towards you and caught you before you hit the ground. He could hear the gasps and camera flashes from the audience but he couldn’t care less about them. “Y/n, baby, wake up.” He silently pleased, cupping your cheek in his hand. One of the staff approached him and said they had to rush you to the waiting room where the medics were waiting. Reluctantly, he let the staff take over, following closely behind.

By the time you regained consciousness you were already at home. Myungho was sitting on a chair next to the bed, holding your hand while he rested his head on a pillow. “Myungho...” You whispered, stirring him awake.

“You’re finally up” He smiled sleepily, moving his hand up to brush your hair back. “I was worried. I’m... really upset with what happened, y/n”

“What happened..?”

“You passed out on stage before I could reach you...”

“Before you could reach me..? Are you saying you went on stage?”

“Yes.”

“Myungho!” You jolted up, immediately regretting it once you felt a surge of pain through your back. Your boyfriend seemed just as surprised as you as he jumped forwards to place a pillow behind you to support your back. “So our relationship... It’s out?!”

“yeah. the public knows.”

“I’m sorry Myungho...” You sighed, letting him shift closer to plant a gentle kiss on your lips.

“You think that’s what I’m upset about?” Myungho stared at you with a mix of irritation and worry in his eyes. He took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Help yourself, y/n. Please. I can’t help you if you don’t help yourself. It hurts seeing you like this. Please let me help you.” His forehead rested against yours, he kept his eyes closed while he spoke gently.

“Okay... I’m sorry...”

“You should be... Seeing you like that broke my heart, you know?”

It would be a slow process, but Myungho stayed by your side throughout the whole thing. When you couldn’t get yourself to eat, he’d support you, when you felt guilty for eating, he comforted you. He was always there, caring for you and whispering gentle reassurances in your ear until you were healthy again.

mingyu!

"Mingyu!”

“Hyung? What’s up?” Mingyu stared at Seungcheol who was panting by the doorway of the restroom

“It’s y/n.” The older male fought to catch his breath “She passed out on stage.” Mingyu, who was in the middle of drying his hands, froze.

Everything after that was a blur. He could vaguely remember Seungcheol’s mouth moving as if he were speaking but not actually hearing anything. He could vaguely remember bumping into other idols as he sprinted his way backstage. He could vaguely remember tripping on someone’s foot and falling to the ground but immediately picking himself up and continued running to your room. Though nothing would ever make him forget the image of you lying on your waiting room couch with an oxygen mask strapped to your face.

“What happened?” Mingyu’s tone was low and dark. The only other person in the room was your manager, who placed a water bottle on the coffee table next to you.

“She fainted in the middle of her performance. The members are continuing without her but-”

“No, I meant what happened for things to reach this point? Cause I heard you put her on a 1 apple a day diet. Isn’t that right?” Mingyu towered over your manager with darkness pooling by his face as he looked down on him.

“I-I-”

“So it’s true? Now, why would you do something like that? What could you have been thinking, if you were thinking at all? Surely, you did think about the consequences, right? Of what would happen to her if you pushed her too far, and what would happen to you if she ever got hurt. Right? Do you see how skinny she is?” Your boyfriend harshly grabbed your manager’s shoulder, making him wince and groan. “Look. at. her.” Your manager turned his face to gaze at you, staring at your boney figure and feeling the remorse kick in. “Does the fact that you can see her ribs not concern you? What weight is there left to lose?”

“Gyu...” You groaned, slowly regaining consciousness. Mingyu dug his fingers into your manager’s shoulder and brought him closer.

“Leave the room, now. Y/n will take the rest of the day off to recover and she will not follow the ‘diet’ you’ve prescribed to her any longer.”

“but-”

“Did that sound like a request? You do whatever you need to do to let her have the day off. I. Don’t. Care. She will go home and you will do your job properly this time. Am I clear?” Your manager shook his head up and down frantically before Mingyu finally loosened his grip on him. Your manager practically ran out of the room, fearing to stay in the same room as your boyfriend for another second.

"gyu...” You called for him again, voice louder this time.

“I’m right here, baby. Don’t worry” He sat on the floor to match your eye level, giving you his signature sweet smile. “how are you feeling?” You felt his large hands over your own, rubbing circles at the back of your palm with his thumbs.

“Not so good... I’m a bit hungry...”

“how about this, once you feel better enough to walk, I take you to our favorite tteokbeokki place near home. what do you say?”

You smiled at the thought of going on a date with your boyfriend after stressful practice and passing out on stage, but reality hit you soon after. “I can’t... I’m on a diet... Sorry, Gyu...”

“Don’t worry about that. I had a talk with your manager and he said he’s taking you off that diet. You lost a lot of weight, it wasnt healthy.” He caressed your cheek gently and gazed at you with nothing but love and sincerity in his eyes.

“Are you sure..? Am I not too fat..?”

Mingyu seemed taken aback by the sudden question “Don’t be silly. You’re not fat, stop saying mean things about yourself. And quite frankly, I don’t care what you look like. Big or small, you’ll always be the woman I fell in love with. There’s nothing more I could want from you than to be healthy. that’s all, y/n”

“Do you really mean that?”

“of course...” He tucked stray pieces of hair behind your ear and kissed your cheeks. Mingyu began sensing your insecurity a couple of weeks ago when you didn’t want to wear one of the favorite dresses he got you because you thought your arms looked too big for it. He felt the best approach was to be gentle and supportive, making sure you knew he didn’t care about your weight. Judging by your reaction, that was the right decision.

You never found out about the small altercation between your manager and your boyfriend. That was probably for the best. He didn’t want your perception of him to change. He was still that soft, gentle, sweet boy you always knew, and he would continue to be that to you and the people around you as long as no harm came to you.

Your schedule lightened up and you spent more time at home with your boyfriend, rebuilding your confidence back up one piece at a time.

seokmin!

When Seokmin asked if you were okay, you replied with ‘sure’. He didn’t believe you. Those nights he’d find you awake in the kitchen drinking endless amounts of water, when you almost trip whenever you stand up didn’t slip by him. Still, he didn’t want to pry into what seemed your personal business until you wanted to tell him yourself. Still, he kept a careful eye on you while trying to cheer you up whenever you seemed tired.

Seokmin had many regrets. He regretted not asking what was causing you pain, and not convincing you to turn down that stupid diet. All because he knew he’d never forget how he felt when he saw you fall to the ground in the middle of your performance. He froze. His ears rung from the sound your microphone made when it hit the ground. He couldn’t understand or see anyone else but you lying on that stage while your members called for help. He didn’t care about the cameras. Seokmin got up from his seat immediately and ran backstage to your waiting room.

When you woke up you found Seokmin holding your hand in his palms close to his face with his eyes closed. “Seokmin?” His eyes burst open and he turned to look at you.

“You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“dizzy… and hungry”

He gave you a small smile. “Here, have this.” Seokmin fed you strawberries and opened a water bottle he bought for you. “Y/n.”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t scare me like this again.” He kept his eyes on the strawberries he was picking from the box while he said that. Seokmin felt too guilty to look into your eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby” you whispered, but he still didn’t look at you. “Hey, look at me” You placed your hand on his cheek and lifted his head. “It won’t happen again. hm? I’m sorry.”

Seokmin sighed and wrapped his arms around your waist, digging his nose into the crook of your neck. “I’m here, y/n. Please stop acting like i’m not. Tell me when you’re having a hard time. Let me take care of you sometimes. I know you view me as this cheerful and funny boyfriend but you can come to me when you need help too. okay? Im here for better and for worse.”

“Thank you, Seokmin...”

He’d (endearingly) nag you for probably the rest of your relationship. He made it a habit to text you to eat and check up on you. Whenever he was around, regardless of what either of you was doing, when his alarm went off he’d grab a banana, some milk, and walk to you and say “snack time! you need your energy.”

seungkwan!

Both you and Seungkwan were busy. With him going on multiple shows and you being in a hot new girl group, your meetings at home lessened and lessened. Seungkwan noticed you losing weight whenever he saw you, but he never really thought anything of it. That was until you fainted in the middle of your performance.

He’ll never forgive himself for not seeing the signs sooner. You two lived in the same house for god’s sake!

Seungkwan canceled all his schedules for the week and took you to the hospital. There he sat by your side, holding your hand while listening to the traffic from outside the hospital window. “I’m sorry. I should have known. I didn’t know you were getting this bad...” He sighed, placing his hand on your forehead, feeling your unusually high body temperature. You had a fever, were dehydrated, overworked, and burned out. You passed out from exhaustion and still hadn’t woken up after 13 hours.

When you finally woke up, you found Seungkwan holding your hand while his head and arms rested on your hospital bed. He was asleep. “Seungkwan... baby wake up.”

“y/n, you’re awake...”

“What am I doing here..?”

“You passed out from exhaustion... you’ve been sleeping for almost a day”

It took a few sentences to process what your boyfriend had said. “Fuck... my schedules!” You tried tgo sit up in a panic but Seungkwan placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Slow down, baby. Everything’s okay. You’re on a break right now, I took care of everything. Just focus on resting okay?”

He rubbed your arms up and down, relaxing you. When you finally settled down again, Seungkwan smiled, kissing your cheek. “Hey uh... I’m sorry for not taking care of you better... We live in the same house but I didn’t even notice something was wrong.”

“It’s not your fault... I didn’t know I had already lost control of my health... I was too busy...”

“we both were...” You held his hand and intertwined your fingers with his own. “Listen, I want you to know that even if we both get busy, you can still talk to me okay? Tell me when you don’t feel well or need me and I’ll make time for you... I always will...”

“Thank you... I hope you know I’m here for you too. I know your schedule is tiring too...”

“You know, long days at work aren’t so bad either. It just means more excitement for when I get to go home and see you again” He winked, nudging your elbow in a playful manner

“Oh stop it~” You giggled, pushing his arm

You two laughed together for the first time in weeks. “Okay so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re taking this week off and spending it at home. I’ll be attending less interviews, and your manager will be making your schedule more flexible. We’ll get you a dietitian too. Just so you can get back to a healthy weight.”

“That all sounds.... great, baby. Thank you.”

What happened to you traumatized Seungkwan, but he was also thankful for the experience. It was a wake-up call for both of you. Ever since then, you two spent more time together at home, talking about each other’s days and ranting and taking care of each other. Seungkwan never failed to make you smile with his daily checkups on you when he called.

vernon!

Vernon, who had just returned to Korea after touring for months, was more than thrilled to see you again. He sat with his group, biting his lip in a weak attempt to hold back a smile while you were on stage performing. But as soon as he saw you walk on stage, his smile faded. When did you get so thin? and pale? Your hair looked like it’d gotten thinner too... His members all glanced at him, seeing his shocked and confused expression.

“Yah, is Y/n okay?” Seungkwan nudged Vernon's elbow

“I... I don’t know... She sounded alright over the phone but this...” He couldn’t even form words to reply to his member. You looked like a different person. All the members took notice of how much you struggled on stage. You were out of breath, tripping, and faltering at every difficult move. It was a miracle that you made it to the end of the performance.

When the lights shut off, everyone heard something drop. The gasps of your members had indicated to everyone that there was an accident. While the lights were still off, Vernon rose from his seat and quickly made his way backstage. By the time he got there you were surrounded by staffs who were fanning you, placing ice packs on your neck and making sure the oxygen mask was strapped to your face.

Vernon took a deep sigh as he gazed at your frail state. When your manager walked into the room and saw Vernon standing in the corner of the room, a shiver ran up his spine. He immediately asked the other staff to step out of the room and give you space. Before he was able to slip out of the room, Vernon grabbed his wrist tightly. “I’m having a word with you later. Don’t think you can run from me.” He growled, harshly releasing your managers wrist and letting him scurry away.

Vernon pulled a stool over and sat by your side, gently stroking your hair before resting his head in his hands. “How did i not notice?” “I should’ve asked how she was doing...” “I should’ve checked up on her more.” “i should’ve-”

“Hansol...” You weakly called for him, pulling him out of his thoughts.

“Hey baby” He weakly grinned, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You okay?” He asked. You obviously weren’t, but he didn’t know what to say with the adrenaline still pumping in his veins.

“I’m fine...” It was a weak attempt at trying to ease his nerves, because you both knew you were lying.

“bullshit.” Vernon said sternly “how long has this being going on?”

“How long has what been going on?”

“Don’t play coy with me. You know exaclty what I’m talking about.”

You took a deep breath, this was going to be tough for you. “About a week after you left for tour...” If it wasn’t for the sound of your breathing, the room would have been quiet enough for you to hear Vernon’s heart shatter. “I just lost control... I didn’t know it was this bad... I was too busy to notice and I just... I wanted to be pretty. Not just for my group’s comeback but I wanted to be prettier for you when you came back too-”

“Y/n what are you saying?” Vernon’s comment made you glance up to meet his confused gaze. His eyebrows were stitched together with his lips slightly parted in disbelief. “Do you hear what you’re saying right now? You wanted to be pretty? Pretty for when I came back? What does that even mean?” He sighed, cupping your cheeks. “You’re beautiful, y/n. You always have been. if thats not enough and you still want to take measures to help you feel more confident in your skin, the alright, I’ll support you. But never at the cost of your health.”

Tears trickled down your cheeks and Vernon was there to kiss each one away. “I love you, Hansol.”

“I know. Do you know I love you?”

He’d be very gentle yet persistent in your recovery. He’d make sure you ate enough food even if you whined and complained about it. After particularly large meals he’d spend hours cuddling you in the bedroom and kissing your arms, stomach and legs just to let you know that he loved your body no matter how it looked like.

chan!

“I’m not letting you go out there!” Chan sighed

“who are you to tell me what to do!”

“Your boyfriend, who cares about you a lot.” He tried to gently plead with you. “I can’t let you go on stage in the state that you’re in. You just threw up, you’re dizzy, dehydrated, exhausted and it shows.”

“I can’t, Chan. This is the last performance for this comeback, I can’t let everyone down.”

“Y/n-” Before he could try reasoning with you again, you were called onto stage to perform. Chan was pacing around while keeping his eyes on the screen your entire performance. Other idols approached him and asked him if he was okay, to which he just responded to with a wave of his hand and a brief nod. Even his members came out of the waiting room and tried to calm him down because he had been out for a while. He wouldn't leave. Towards the end of your performance, Chan was already waiting by the side of the main stage, waiting for you. You made a big bow, waved towards the cameras and glanced at him. His face was pale with worry and his hands couldn't seem to stay still. You weakly made your way towards him but collapsed right before you were able to completely exit the stage. The crowd saw the lower half of your body hit the ground and murmurs could he heard in the audience.

Chan cautiously kneeled down and pulled your body towards his own, out of sight from others. He cradled your head gently in his arms “Y/n, baby, wake up.” After you didn’t respond, he quickly lifted you bridal style and carried you to your waiting room. The staff tended to you as well as they could before they gave you and Chan space. He didn’t realize he was going it, but when he was sitting next to you he started to gently massage your palms. Pressing on the soft flesh with his thumbs.

“That feels nice...” You whispered as you slowly regained consciousness.

“Y/n! You’re awake!” He smiled, pressing a tender kiss to your cheek. “You worried me...”

“Did I pass out?”

Chan nodded gently “You need rest. Please, take a break. And please eat.” He tucked stray pieces of your hair behind your ear while he spoke.

“What if i gain weight?”

“So what? What matters is that you’re healthy, and happy. Let me help you, hm? Let me take care of you for once...”

He’d be very gentle and tender with you during your recovery. He’d talk to you sweetly and praise you for every achievement big or small.

authors note: to the person who requested this, im sorry this took literally forever but i hope you enjoyed it nonetheless <33

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wonwoonlight · 1 year

Text

when you can't sleep but shua is right next to you.

A/N: it's 11 in the evening here and i wrote this in, like, 20 minutes for all of u who were wishing for shua's shiny star, or you who have trouble sleeping. I hope this very small gift means something to any of you🩶 this is definitely not proofread bc im falling asleep now lol good night

You turn on your bed. Once. And then twice.

And then once again.

You bite your lip as you try to listen to Shua's soft breathing just in case he awakes because of your constant shifting.

He is already asleep the moment you return home, and you quietly wash up and join him on the bed because the day has been long and you honestly just want it to end already.

It would be better if you could be in Shua's arms right now, but at least he's next to you and you're just glad at least one of you is sleeping properly.

He seems like he needs it anyway; God knows he's even busier than you are.

When you're sure Shua is still deep in his sleep, you turn once again, this time to face him.

You don't think you'd ever get tired of watching his face, asleep or awake. He's so beautiful either way, but asleep, Shua looks so peaceful and whatever weight that would burden him when he's awake can't bother him in this state.

For that, you're more than grateful.

Shua is the more emotional and sensitive one between the two of you, and it's definitely not something that you complain about. But it means he seems to understand you more than you do him so sometimes you feel useless when you know he's not feeling his best.

He's been a little too busy these days, which worries you, but there's nothing you can really do about it. Hence, you're simply glad that at least he's sleeping properly.

Unlike you.

You're tired, your eyes are heavy, and you're sleepy, but your body refuses to succumb to sleep for some reason. You don't know what's stopping you from sleeping.

So you do what brings you comfort: watch your lover sleep. Your palm reaches out to his face, and when your thumb caresses the apple of his cheek, Shua leans to your touch even in his sleep.

You spend a few moment just like that. Time always seems like an illusion when you're with him, because you don't know how much time has passed until Shua slowly opens his eyes and immediately stares into your eyes.

"Why are you awake?" He asks, voice heavy with sleep.

You offer nothing but a hum, your fingers moving from his face into his hair.

"Can't sleep again?" Even half asleep, Shua can tell the smile you give him is defeated. So he reaches out to pull you into his chest instead, the position uncomfortable but not unwelcome. "Let's stay like this for a bit, hm?"

It's hard to hold him back in this position, so you decide to bask in his hold and the sound of his heartbeat instead. You think you feel his lips on top of your head, and Shua starts humming the familiar melody that always bring you comfort, his palm rubs your back in a slow pattern.

Up and down.

Up and... down.

He chuckles when he hears your soft snore, looking down at your sleeping figure before maneuvering you both into a more comfortable position.

A few minutes later, he falls back to sleep with his fingers buried in your hair and the soft pattern of your breath.

#joshua fluff #joshua au #joshua scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fic #seventeen imagines #shua fluff #shua scenarios #shua imagines #seventeen scenario #seventeen au #joshua scenario

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cryinginmyroomsposts · 9 months

Text

Sweet Nothing with Shua

pairing: Joshua x reader

tags: angst, fluff at the end, boyfriend Joshua, non-idol!au, mentions of childhood issues and disordered eating

summary: Graduation just got over and you’re all but happy. You watch as each of your friends leaves and as you leave. Change has never been easy for you, especially when it triggers all the instability of your childhood. But there is one person you will always find yourself coming back to- Joshua. After three years of navigating life and university together, he's your home. And now you get to literally come home to his sweet nothings in your new house and your heart will heal itself from the pains of life.

wordcount: 1.9k

a/n: Inspired by the lines "Outside, they're push and shoving, You're in the kitchen humming, All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing" from Taylor Swift's Sweet Nothing.

masterlist | Let me know your thoughts and feedback.

Change, it was a rude temptress. It lures you in with the promise of shiny places, bright lights and adventures. It’s a hoax. It takes you to uncomfortable, odd places with random strangers that make you miss home.

Change takes your closest friends away from you.

Change is the reason you're walking back home on a cold unfamiliar path, toward a driveway you don't immediately recognise and to a house currently filled with cardboard boxes.

Life had turned around in less than a month's time. You'd known it would change, you had all been preparing for it. Yet none of you were ready for the real thing. Even when you had sat through every packing session with your friends-some packing things into a suitcase, some in cardboard boxes, talking through a million memories and making promises of holding on.

You watched as your friend group, the one that had fit perfectly like pieces of a puzzle slowly began drifting away. Except now each of you carried a part of the others' pieces too. Some moving seas away, some moving just far enough that it still feels like uncharted territory.

You had told yourself you would be brave about this. You would not let this affect you and trigger all the childhood issues attached to it. For the most part, you held onto your words. You'd cleared your dorm and moved bunches of cardboard boxes to a new and unfamiliar place. You had said your greetings to unfamiliar faces, in a stiff outfit at your new place of work. You said goodbyes to two of your closest friends at the airport in the span of a week, without breaking into a single tear.

But the emotional baggage had come out in other ways. In a cowardly move, you began pushing away your boyfriend. The one you had moved in with just weeks ago. The same boyfriend who had helped you through multiple hard times in the three years of university, all with his polite smile and kind heart. The very thought of his kindness made you hurt with guilt. He did not deserve the pain you were putting him through, especially when you both were supposed to be celebrating this fresh and beautiful chapter of your relationship. That is why you stop five steps in front of the new apartment that now belonged to the two of you, looked at his car in the driveway and decided to turn back and take another walk around the block. You needed to clear your head so that you could stop hurting him.

Shua watches from the kitchen window as you turn around and walk away. He leans back on the cabinet and rubs his eyes with his hands. He has tried everything to comfort you and give you the space you needed. He understands that this has been a hard time for you, it has been for him too. He's had to say his own goodbyes and adjust to new places too.

Joshua understands better than anyone else just how hard this might be for you. He also knows that he can't make this right or tell you to process your emotions in a different way. But it is breaking his heart to see you hurt yourself in the process. He's been waiting for a whole week to hear you say more than three words at once. He has had to sit in front of you and watch you refuse every bite of food for a week and it breaks a piece of him every time.

He has been trying his best to help you, from beside and from afar. It felt unfair to him too but he knows this has been triggering all the issues from your childhood and your pushing him away had nothing to do with your relationship at the moment.

Joshua sighs another time, he should not let himself get sucked in his insecurities too. He knows you will come back to him, he knows you will tuck yourself into his arms in sleep like you do every night. And he knows he will pull himself away before you wake up so that you don't feel more guilty than you already do. Till your guilt and pain are ready to be let out, Joshua will wait on the sidelines and remind you that he is still there and your life will continue.

The smell. That is the first thing you notice when you enter the house an hour after deciding to walk around the block. You got sidetracked at the park and ended up staring at trees as you processed everything. You now felt it all but also felt too numb. The emotions and thoughts had gotten too much and you desperately needed to cry in the comfort of your home. That's why you walked back to find Joshua.

You still remember the first time you let yourself cry in his arms after a very painful call with your dad and how he'd held you delicately through it all. He was the first person you had cried in front of since your parent, and it felt good. To finally be held as you broke down, to be reminded that you aren't entirely broken. It felt like home when he hugged you so tight that your heart healed itself.

With tears brimming in your eyes as you look around the dimly lit house, unable to move from the doorstep, the smell gets to you. It smelt like chocolate and flour. You couldn't quite place the smell but you knew someone had baked something and something had definitely burnt at least once. You looked around the living room but all you could hear was a faint hum.

You walked toward the kitchen and a silhouette came into view. Joshua standing, with his back to you, working on something on the counter as hums a song like an angel. He was wearing your old pastel pink apron around his waist, you could see multiple stains on his plain white t-shirt. You smiled as you saw how ruffled his hair was and there was definitely flour on the strands. The smile on your face forms automatically and so do the tears.

It hits you in a wave, the realisation that no matter how hard everything else in the world gets, and how many things change, Shua is here in your shared kitchen, humming as he tries his best to bake you muffins. That's all you need. That's everything he needs- the sweet nothings. The whole world can push you and hurt you, but you'll find yourself in Shua's arms, doing nothing and feeling the joy of everything.

The tears are now pouring like a monsoon rain down your cheeks and you take three big steps before tapping him on the shoulder.

Shua is startled by the sudden tap on his shoulders and he turns with the whisk still in his hands from the mess of a muffin he was desperately trying to make- for the second time that evening. He's even more surprised when he sees you pull him into an embrace. He stays still hands open wide, a whisk dripping chocolate sauce in one hand, as he watches you hold to him so tight he could barely breathe. He stayed still, feeling your sniffs against his chest, your tears soaking up his shirt.

Shua moves very slowly to place his hand around you such that he is cradling your head. He rubs circles on your scalp as you lean into him further and cry your heart out. His heart clenches as he cannot bear to see you so worn down and hurt, but another part of him is glad you chose to come back to him and let out your emotions. Shua understands that with love comes a lot of pain and he cannot expect it all to be gone just because the two of you are in love. All he wants is for the two of you to always come running back to the other when everything and everyone else makes life hard.

You cry till you can't physically anymore. The two of you stay there the entire time, unsure of the time. After you broke out into full-blown sobs, you feel tear drops dampen your hair, you know Shua was tearing up too. He always did. Neither of you could stand the other crying.

So you both stayed there, crying out the pain- the pain of growing up, of moving on, of letting go, of facing your demons, of looking at the start of your life, of an uncertain future and the fear of losing. Shua and you held each other through the fears, a promise to hold on and help each other heal. To hold each other through the storms, the soul deconstructors and through the trials and tribulations of life.

You finally feel lighter and pull yourself back to see his face. Shua is already looking down at you with his sweet smile and eyes that light up your soul. his hair is messy with flour tangled between strands and you finally notice the whisk that has been dripping chocolate sauce all over the kitchen floor and is thoroughly drenched in your tears and chocolate stains.

"Hi." Your voice comes out in a croak and both of you end up cracking up.

"Hello to you too ma'am." He says, his honey-like voice filling up the cracks of your heart.

"You're making something?" You ask feigning innocence as he gives you an embarrassed smile scratching his hair.

"I was trying to bake muffins."

You let out a small smile, "For me?"

He nods and you feel your eye tear up a little more. Shua's eyes widen with worry.

"Babe no. Don't cry. I can clean this all up and maybe we can order real muffins. Or whatever you need. Please don't cry again, my heart can't take it. And your eyes will certainly not be able to take anymore crying." He says in such a state of pure fright and panic that it endears you wholly.

You shake your head, laughing. "No Shua I am not crying don't worry."

"Thank god."

"But I think we should try to salvage these muffins and clean the kitchen." He nods looking around the mess he has made.

"And maybe you should change your t-shirt first." You say as you try your best not to stare at his drenched shirt, sticking to him in all the right places.

Shua smirks, "Oh why babe, is it tempting you?" He asks knowing full well the answer.

You roll your eyes as a blush creeps up your cheeks, "Oh, please it's nothing new."

He hums and strokes a finger across your cheek, "Uh-huh. Is that why you're red as a tomato."

You mock glare at him and pull away from his touch. "If that's how you want to play it, then I'm gonna leave you to clean this mess on your own." He groans. "And, you will sleep on the couch tonight." You add and he looks terribly scared now that it makes you grin.

"Alright alright, let's order good food, clean this up and head to bed." He says and pulls you into an embrace which you graciously acept.

"Thank you." You hear him murmur and look up at his face questioningly at him.

"For coming back to me." He says with a sweet smile and you lean forward to kiss him in response.

As if you would go anywhere but home.

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fairyhaos · 10 months

Text

. ˚ lost in this green (and in your eyes)

pairing: wood nymph!joshua x gn!reader

genre: fluff, magic realism, meet cute, besties!97z

word count: 2371

warnings: brief mentions of fainting

notes: i just. i just love wood nymph!shua a lot okay pls he'd fit the concept so devastatingly well

summary: you're lost in the forest, and it's terrible and terrifying and you're all alone but then... well, you meet someone, and suddenly you find yourself wondering if fairytales and myths really are just tales.

"Lee Seokmin, you are so dead."

You turn around in a circle, looking around for any recognisable objects around you, desperately trying to find a way out. When you see none that could possibly mark out this section of the forest as different to where you’ve been traipsing through earlier, you sigh, frustrated.

This was all Seokmin's fault. Okay, maybe not entirely his fault, but it was all his stupid dare to get you to fetch him a squirrel from the woods (what sort of dare was that, anyway?) and now… Well, now you're lost.

It had all started when Mingyu had abruptly announced that you should go on an outing for fun, and then Minghao, being Minghao, had insisted that all four of you take a trip into the countryside for the outing, smack-dab in the middle of nowhere for a 'healing day out' in a field surrounded by trees. It had been fun, for all of one hour before you'd devolved into a game of truth or dare that had ultimately led you to venture into the surrounding trees to go catch a squirrel for Lee Seokmin.

Oh, that guy really is so dead if you manage to make it out.

"Seokmin? Mingyu? Can anyone hear me?"

The wind rustles the leaves in reply, almost mocking, and distantly there's the sound of some insect creaking. Everything around you is green and brown, and even when you look up, the blue sky and bright sun is covered by the dense foliage. This is a little bit terrible.

Sighing, you continue on your trek through the woods. Not being the best with directions, you'd kind of lost where you were going about 5 minutes into the forest, and so you have no idea if you're heading back to the field or if you're going in an entirely different direction. You just hope you're not walking around in circles, because that would—

You pause in your tracks. For a moment, there’s only the sound of a pigeon cooing somewhere, but you listen harder, certain that it was a distinctive voice that you heard. And then, there it is again, louder, and you’re sure of it. There's a voice, calling for you, and it sounds a lot like Minghao.

“Minghao!” Immediately, you’re scrambling towards the noise, running along the soft forest floor, accidentally kicking bushes and almost tripping over tree roots. “Minghao, oh my god, what took you guys so long?”

But abruptly, Minghao stops yelling for you, and the forest is silent again. The trees are tall, looming, now, and you kind of wish it was Mingyu’s stupid height looming over you rather than these dark, unresponsive trees.

You wait, for several moments, straining to hear Minghao’s voice again. But when he calls, it’s in a completely different direction, so you curse to yourself and start running off again.

You’re deeper into the woods now, you’re sure of it, because the trees are denser and there’s less light and the sound of animals and insects have disappeared. The air is still as you run through the forest, still following the faint sound of Minghao’s voice, and when you stop, it’s as if the entire world is silent, with not even the trees making a breath of noise.

Minghao’s voice disappears, yet again, and now you’re worried that your brain is playing tricks on you. The bushes you brush against are getting thornier, bigger, difficult to get past, and the trees look like they’ve enlarged and now seem to try and slap you across the face with their rough branches.

You’re well and truly lost now. Minghao’s voice doesn’t sound again, and you turn around aimlessly in circles, hoping that somehow, you’ll magically find an exit.

But then. In the eerie stillness of the forest, any sound and movement echoes through the trees, and you hear a branch snap to your left.

“Hello?” you call out, hoping it’s just Minghao or one of the others behind the bushes, waiting to jump out at you. “Who is it?”

There’s silence.

And then a bush rustles to your right.

You whip your head around. “Come on, stop playing. Just show yourself, I know you’re there.”

There’s a good chance, you know, that it’s just a woodland creature or something, but everything in this part of the woods seems so dead and dark that part of you is sure that it has to be a person rather than an animal.

Slowly, gingerly, you creep towards the bush. It rustles again, and you flinch, but then the distinct sound of Minghao’s giggles comes from the bush and you move forwards, and just as you’re peering over…

“Boo!”

A person jumps out at you, yelling in Minghao’s voice. His hair is long, his eyes are large, and he looks like he has little stars around his doe eyes and he’s smiling widely, wickedly, delighted.

You scream, and he laughs with Minghao’s laugh, and the last thing you see are his eyes suddenly widening in horror as the world fades to black and you fall to the floor.

All you can think is, ‘That wasn’t Minghao’.

————————————— 🌿

When you regain consciousness again, there’s a man leaning over you. His eyes are large and he has little stars around his doe eyes, too, and for a moment you’re sure that it was the person who had scared you who was now going to try and kidnap you.

You yelp, attempting to scramble away, but the man just shushes you, gently and firmly placing hands on your shoulders to keep you against the tree you’re propped up on.

“I’m sorry,” he says, chuckling a little. “Jeonghan is a bit of a menace, but he means well. He just loves imitating voices, and he didn’t intend to take the joke that far. He meant you no harm, truly.”

The man’s hands are now on your face, brushing your cheeks softly, making soft sounds to calm down your racing heart. Now that you’re properly looking at him, the man focused on dislodging a leaf that fell on your shoulder, you can see he’s not the same man as earlier. Not Jeonghan, or whatever this man had called him. But you stiffen up, still, unsure if you can trust him.

He looks up at you then, warm eyes meeting yours. His eyes are constantly turned up at the corners, you notice faintly. He looks like a baby deer.

“I won’t hurt you,” the man says. “I promise. No one here wants to hurt you.” He pauses. “At least, not intentionally.”

Well. That doesn’t exactly make you feel reassured.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He smiles again, and you realise that even his mouth is constantly turned up at the corners.

He’s so pretty.

“Let me try again. I’m Joshua,” pretty man says, and he sits back a little to hold out his hand. “And I noticed that you’re a little lost here. I was wondering if I could maybe help lead you out?”

You look down at the hand, surprised to find yourself endeared by the action as you reach out to shake it. His hand is warm, too, as warm as his eyes, rough and soft in yours at the same time. Your heart is still racing when you release his hand, but now it’s for an entirely different reason.

“Y/N,” you reply, deciding that, at this point, you’re not sure you have anything to lose by following this pretty man. At least, if you die, you’ll die by the hands of a gorgeous stranger. “And I think any help would be much appreciated.”

Joshua smiles again, and takes your hand to pull you upright, swiftly walking off, hand still clasped with yours.

The woods are still silent, but it no longer feels as if every sound has been suffocated—rather, it’s a peaceful silence, and maybe it’s brought on by the peace you feel with a warm hand firmly holding yours, and a presence beside you that’s quiet and gentle and relaxing.

He’s silent the entire way, walking with you through trees as if he’s following an invisible path, pushing away branches for you and gently guiding you to one side to avoid tripping on roots. You can’t help but glance at him, often, because he’s so pretty and so calm and, in turn, it makes you feel calm too.

There are flowers weaved into his hair and they wave gently in the wind that has managed to come to life again. The forest feels lighter now, less terrifying, and birds now seem to chirp cheerfully in the trees above you.

One bird comes and lands on Joshua’s shoulder as you walk and you startle in surprise, but the man doesn’t even bat an eye, smiling down at it in greeting.

“Well, hello there,” he says. “What do you want now, you little rascal?”

Joshua’s tone is fond, affectionate, and when the bird chirrups, he laughs.

“Yes, this person is very pretty, isn’t it?” he chuckles, and it makes you blush slightly. Nevermind the fact that he’s talking to a bird. “But unfortunately, they’re not here to stay. We need to lead them out.”

The bird trills, but Joshua just laughs again, and then it flies off.

You watch it go, curiously, and then look at Joshua, who seems completely unfazed by what would have been, to any other normal person, an incredibly weird exchange.

The stars around his eyes glitter as he turns to look at you. They don’t look like stick-on gemstones or even glitter patches, but look as if they’re embedded in his skin. As if the stars are part of him.

“What brought you here to my humble forest?” he asks, and you blink a little at the strange phrasing of his sentence.

“Oh. I was… trying to catch a squirrel. For my friend.” It sounds ridiculous, when you say it aloud, but it manages to make Joshua laugh, sweet and beautiful and melodic, and you can’t help but smile.

He tilts his head, amused, and now his eyes are sparkling too. “A squirrel? Well, I think you may have failed at that. Unfortunately.”

You shake your head. “This is all Seokmin’s fault. He knows I’m bad with directions, and yet he sent me off into the forest. Alone.”

Joshua’s hand tightens around yours, secure. “Don’t worry. You’re not alone anymore.” He nudges his shoulder against yours, and the sun is now peeking through the leaves, casting a dappled golden shine over his face. “I’m here now.”

That makes you duck your head, shyly, awed by his beauty.

It takes a few more minutes, but eventually, the trees thin and you can see a road ahead of you, a road that looks awfully like the one that Minghao had driven down hours ago to get you to the field.

“Ah, it seems that we’re here,” Joshua says, and he lets go of your hand. When you look back at him, confused, he smiles a little sadly. “This is as far as I can take you. It’s too polluted there for me, and I can’t leave my home.”

“Your home?” you repeat, but he’s stepping forward again, and then leans in to press the lightest kiss on your cheek. It makes heat rush into your face, blushing at the sudden action, but he’s already stepping away before you can react.

“Goodbye, Y/N, and I hope you manage to get home safely.” He grins, lips turning up at the corners a little mischievously. “Hopefully you manage to catch a squirrel someday.”

You blink, startled, because suddenly he’s leaving even though he’d been by your side for so long. “Wait,” you call out, “what are you?”

Joshua laughs, and he’s already begun to fade back into the trees, the stars sparkling around his eyes. “Wasn’t it obvious?” he says.

“I’m a nymph.”

And then he’s gone, melted back into the forest, and you’re standing there alone, straining to see where he went, wanting to know what he meant, wanting to know whether he really was a mystical nymph that you only read about in legends.

You stand there at the edge of the forest for a lot longer, and are about to walk back into the trees again when there’s the sound of a car driving down the road, and someone honks the car horn loudly, making you jump and turn around.

Mingyu has rolled down the window of the passenger seat, practically half falling out of the car.

“You!” he yells. “We’ve been looking for you for ages! Why weren’t you answering your phone?”

And instantly, the memories of before you’d found Joshua come flooding back, and you run towards the car, yelling at Mingyu.

“There’s no service in a forest, idiot!” You open the car door and get in, only to be tackled by Seokmin, who’s sitting in the back seat beside you.

He sobs dramatically, wrapping his arms tight around you. “Why did you disappear like that! We thought you were dead!”

“No, I wasn’t dead, why—hey.” You frown down at him from where he’s buried his head into your shoulder. “It was you. You sent me into the forest to get you a stupid squirrel!”

Mingyu laughs at that, looking back at you as Minghao drives off again. “Yeah, Seokmin, you sent Y/N in there.”

Seokmin’s eyes go wide as you wrestle out of his arms to shake his shoulders. “I’m going to kill you! This is all your fault!”

“What—! Hey, we found you in the end, didn’t we? Minghao! Help!”

“Hey hey, no killing in my car,” Minghao interrupts sternly, and he sounds genuinely serious, so you settle down. Not before balling your fist and shaking it at Seokmin, though. This guy really is dead once you get out of the car.

Minghao looks at you in the rearview mirror, eyes glittering amusedly. “How did you even manage to get out? You have literally no sense of direction.”

You don't even register the teasing, eyes going distant as you recall stars around eyes and flowers weaved in hair. You smile, feeling your face warm up, leaning back against the headrest.

“I found a nymph.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @minhui896 ,, @bunnyiix ,, @slytherinshua ,, @haowrld ,, @belladaises ,, @moonlitskiiies ,, @cinnamoroxie ,, @butiluvu ,, @wonranghaeee ,, @zozojella ,, @kawennote09 ,, @thedensworld ,, @a-wandering-stay ,, @abibliolife ,, @doublasting

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readvtolcve · 11 months

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change of heart

joshua x gn!reader

genre: pure fluff, college!au word count: 1.2k warnings: there is one kissing scene, lowercase intended synopsis: when you’re out for your senior graduation trip, you suddenly meet joshua and have a change of heart about your future plans.

a/n: i had a dream about this scenario and it was so cute i had to write it down. i’m also back in my to all the boys phase and i loved nyu hence the reason I used it. also please excuse me for the amount of times i mentioned the levain cookies but it was 1am when i wrote this and i was craving the cookie so bad even when i’ve never had it before.

masterlist

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you grew up in an ordinary home -well mostly ordinary if you ignored the fact that it was an academically strict environment- with your parents. you completed your final ib exams. you were free for almost a month before you had to return for your graduation. you had been accepted into the university of toronto the month before and you were committed.

now with exams gone and university chosen, your heart felt light and giddy as you dreamed about your senior graduation trip to new york. it was three days from now and you couldn’t help but imagine yourself indulging in new york’s best chocolate chip in the levain bakery.

three days flew past by. you were pulling your suitcase behind you across the smooth-tiled airport floor with your best friend on your right. you saw your school's sign indicating which gate you should be in.

you sat on your seat and waited for the plane to take off. your heart couldn’t stop beating and you promised yourself to have the best time in your life.

you were reminded of the promise you made on the plane when you got off and made it to the heart of new york city. it was quite late so the school had dismissed us all to rest in our hotel rooms.

the next morning you woke up ready to shove ur face into those levain cookies you were drooling about for the longest time. however, you were met with the itinerary your teacher handed you as you entered the hotel lobby. the first thing on the list: visit and tour the nyu campus

you thought how wasteful this time was to you since you were already committed to a university. but you had no choice but to go along with it and visit it. maybe this would just be a good time to meet someone that has the same “chocolaty” passion for the levains cookies.

when you arrived at the nyu campus, your school was greeted by a small group holding their oriole nyu flags. you rolled your eyes at the sight and wished to just teleport to that one bakery you’d been raving about on this whole trip. your best friend on the other hand was psyched, her dream university was nyu and to see it in person was better than the levain cookie, at least that’s what she thinks. you had other opinions, opinions that were present yet discarded as soon as you saw that man. the man with the big doe eyes, plump lips and the best skin you’ve ever seen. you were fascinated, to say the least.

when you were separated into groups you found out you were with that man. you learned that the man you had your eyes on was named joshua and a second year in uni. joshua was the prettiest person you’ve ever seen. not to mention he was extremely kind. the number of times you bumped into his back while daydreaming about him was unreal. even though it was your fault he apologized and continued the tour saying he’ll pick up the pace. the tour continued until he paused and said to take a quick break in the campus cafe.

you sat down on the table near the window with a cookie and a coffee. you broke into the cookie and had a bite, it very much tasted like a regular chocolate chip cookie. a sigh left your mouth.

“are you perhaps not enjoying the tour?” joshua asked. with a surprised look on your face, you quickly shook your head no

“then why have you been sighing? is it me? sorry if i made the tour boring, i assure you that nyu is not boring, it is, in fact, anything but boring!” joshua reasoned. you giggled and he looked at you in confusion

“i’m not! i was actually sighing at the ordinary cookie here. i’ve been meaning to visit the levain bakery and taste their chocolate chip cookie but the school wanted to visit the nyu” joshua looked sorry and he was about to open his mouth to apologize when you interrupted “i have no complaints about that now though!” to which joshua sighed of relief and a smile formed on his face.

“are there any plans during the night?” joshua questioned.

“no, i don’t believe so…” you replied hesitantly

“would you like to join my trip to the levain bakery tonight?” joshua turned his head to you and asked. you were needless to say shocked but nonetheless excited at the suggestion. you complied with a simple nod and he smiled. he gestured for your phone and input his contact.”i’ll text you the details but for now we should continue the tour” he spoke with the most gentle voice you have ever heard.

after the tour, joshua did in fact text you.

“does 6 pm sounds alright? i can pick you up at your hotel. text me the details :)”

when 6oclock came rolling around your stomach was turning around with all the butterflies. you walked into the lobby to find joshua waiting. you ran toward him and apologized for being late. he dismissed it and said he was actually early and you were just on time.

joshua and you walked to the bakery and you guys instantly clicked with all the common grounds you guys had on the walk.

when you guys arrived, both of you went in line and picked out a decaf latte and the cookie and joshua asked for the same. when you’re été about to take out your wallet from your purse, joshua had paid instead. you apologized and thanked him.

the first bite into the cookie was heavenly. it was more than you could’ve asked for. you could see why it was one of the world's most famous cookie. joshua just smiled at your satisfied face and moved to wipe off the chocolate on your cheek.

as you savoured your first bite. you knew it. the decision that would forever change your life.

“joshua.” joshua hummed in response. “ i actually didnt want to visit nyu today. i wanted to run away and cafe hop to find the best chocolate chip cookie because i felt no reason to tour the campus. why would i when i was already committed to uoft? now that was the case until you showed up. you showed me the colours of new york and nyu. maybe it was just this cookie or maybe it was you, joshua, but i have a change of heart” you pause before continuing “ i wish to stay, stay with you if you would allow me” you closed your eyes afraid of what was to come next.

you felt a pair of lips on your own. joshua pulled away shortly.

“of course, i wish for you to stay beside me. i fell for you the minute i saw you and i want to create more memories like this with you.” joshua confessed

maybe it was the cookie or maybe it was joshua but in the end, you had a change of heart that led you to stay with him.

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nayaaatv · 1 year

Text

joshua bf hcs !

✰ ; fluff, male-wife material joshua.

warnings ; mentions of food, and im p sure thats it (?)

wc ; 0.6k ♡

a/n : i love him sm i actually cannot.

+ req by anon ♡

this man is a little bit too obsessed with dressing you up. you can always depend on your boyfriend when ur going shopping. by the end of the day you're gonna be surrounded by the outfits he chose for you. spoiler alert, you look so hot in all of them LMAO, stylist bf things.

he's super in love with watching sunsets with you. ever since you guys started dating, he has always been sneaking a lil pic of you next to the beautifully colored sky, and little does he know, you do too. well, occasionally so.

matching bracelets ♡_♡ suits him so much tbh. and he's like never taking it off too. its those thread bracelets with your initials graved in them hehe.

cleans up everywhere when you're stil asleep. and cooks the most drool worthy breakfast ever its like ur in a mf hotel i swear. he takes care of your things like its his, sometimes you wake up to him reading a book you finished recently whilst drinking a hot cup of coffee on the couch. "hey, i heard you finished this. nothing bad happens in the end right?"

spoils you but spoils you like how a normal boyfriend would spoil his lover AND how a dad would spoil his daughter. one day he could be buying you a pandora necklace and the next could be him coming home with bags filled with matching pajamas and a fairy costume set for ages 3 and up. (ps, the pjs have my little pony prints on them) his excuse for the costume is -- "it says 3 and up baby. you're up, aren't you?". (im tearing up)

random slow dances at noon. with the curtains closed and a big lamp being your only source of light. its so comfortable and calming. your head laying on his shoulder as his hand stays there on your waist. both your hands intertwined as you get lost in the music playing from his phone. everything becomes quiet and suddenly its just the both of you in the world. you can only see him and he can only see you. nothing is on his mind, just you. and vice versa. you find yourself just standing there together until your legs cant handle it anymore. it always end with a nap or even a dinner date. who knows, he just loves being with his angel.

showering together, only if you're both comfortable with it ofcourse. by this i don't mean it in a sexual way like at all. he feels like its his duty to wash and scrub your hair wish the perfect amount of shampoo, and you like rub soap on each others back ㅠㅠ. then afterwards he's blow drying your hair while your taking cute little mirror selfies or putting on skincare together. this is one of the times joshua feels content. he feels more than happy when he's with you right now in moments like this. he adores it when you do his hair too. he gives you little pecks and kisses all over your face as soon as your done. (ok im gonna go cry now)

loves cooking for you. he secretly took cooking classes when you guys first started dating and now he's a five star michelin (ehe). everything in him is so curious and excited for your reaction everytime he cooks a new dish. you can find him constantly looking for new recipes for you to try. expect your stomach to never have issues ever again due to his godly cooking skills. you seriously don't know how he does it, but you let it slide as long as you're getting fed. he's super satisfied when he sees you full and tired from all the food he gave you. he always reminds you to always drink water afterwards and not to move around much. and let me confirm, he definitely has the 'kiss the chef' apron. and obviously you do kiss the chef! always. ♡

✦ ; @odetoyeonjun @stuckinmyhead5 @guavagyu @starry-mins @pearlygraysky @enhacolor @khypods @yoonzin0 @enha-choo @shadowofgyu

m.list - dino or dk is next ><

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emileeknow · 10 months

Text

Finally | Joshua Au

Pairing: Joshua X Reader

Genre: Soulmate!au, fluff

Words: 2.1K

Summary: You see your soulmate’s face in your dreams but can never interact with them.

Joshua was having one of the dreams again. They were a regular occurrence, he found them strange at first, but he didn’t think much of it anymore.

He wasn't sure when they started, but he first took notice of them when he was 19.

It was said that the faces you saw in dreams were real people you had encountered in your lifetime. A combination of people you recognise and an array background faces you had caught a glimpse of when going about daily life.

Aside from the people he knew and the random background faces, there was one face that kept showing up in his dreams. Yours.

He didn’t notice it at first, so wasn’t quite sure when you started appearing.

It was after a few weeks of seeing your face that he started to recognise you. He didn’t know where he had seen you before, but you were appearing far too frequently to be some random passer-by he’d seen on the street one day.

He thought about it a lot.

Who are you?

Why did you keep appearing?

Was he going crazy?

You were never a main character and he’d never had an interaction with you in his dreams. You were just always in the background somewhere. Always present in the scene but not always noticeable. It became a game he would play with himself to find you in his dream that night, like a game of hide and seek.

Once he found you, he always tried to interact with you. Fate never let him though. You always disappeared, wisping away into nothingness before he could get close enough to utter even a greeting.

He thought about you a lot, both in his dreams and in his conscious mind. But no matter how much he mulled it over, he still couldn’t place your existence in his everyday life. You were just a mysterious constant in his dreamworld.

You on the other hand were completely indifferent to the man that was always in your dreams. You were aware of him, but instead of pondering the significance of the man’s existence, you just shrugged it off as meaningless.

When you saw his familiar face in the crowd you would think, ‘oh it's that guy again’ and continue on with the dream as if nothing had happened.

You assumed it was someone you always saw on your daily commute. Just another face at a bus stop, or someone in the coffee shop that you regularly saw in the background when you went to get your morning dose of caffeine.

You didn't really remember what happened in your dreams after you woke up, once the drowsiness had worn off, the night’s events just phased out of your memory, it wasn’t unless you focused on it that you could really process what had happened in your dream. Therefore you didn’t really think much of the man that was always there.

You didn’t give much thought to the fact that it probably had some kind of deeper meaning. It’s not like the world you lived in, revolved around strange inexplicable connections to other people…

You went about your daily life as usual. You’d recently started a new job so were still settling into the new office. There were so many new names and faces to remember and it meant you had to go through all the general get to know your co-worker questions all over again.

What’s your name?... Y/N

Have you met your soulmate yet?... No

What’s your connection?... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You had already had the same conversation with around 5 people this morning and to be honest you were getting a little tired of it. Whenever you would respond that you didn’t know what the connection was, the other person would either nod politely and give you some words of encouragement, ‘Oh I’m sure you’ll find out eventually’, or they would try to shake your hand to check the tingles.

It was reasonably well known that when soulmates touched they would feel the connection. This had resulted in a culture whereby people who were unaware of their connections would try to make physical contact with others upon meeting them.

The idea you didn’t mind, it was logical and many did find their soulmates this way. However, the past three people you had met had done exactly that and then promptly left the conversation. Any interest in getting to know you dissipating the moment they found out that you did not mean anything to them.

Since you were new to the company, you just had to accept it, although it did make you uncomfortable.

Luckily for you, there was a girl chatting with someone at a nearby desk that noticed your discomfort. She quickly stood up and shooed away the small crowd of people. You silently thanked her and she smiled brightly at you.

She introduced herself, and to your delight didn’t ask any of the usual questions.

Turns out her desk was next to yours, and you were so glad that your new desk buddy was a nice person. It only took a couple of days of working together for the two of you to become friends.

You and your new workplace bff, were sat eating lunch in the office cafeteria one day, when the conversation drifted to soulmates.

“How come you never asked me about soulmates?” you ask curiously.

“I figured if you wanted to talk about it you would, I also had a hidden connection, so I know how annoying it is when people try to get you to talk about it. Especially the ones that made it seem like I didn’t have one, you know when they say. Oh I’m sure there is someone out there for you.”

“Or, You probably aren’t one of the 0.01%.” you continued.

“Or my personal favourite, I know most people have found theirs' by your age, but don’t lose hope”

“Are you sure you already found your soulmate? Are you sure you aren’t mine?” you smiled sweetly at her.

The both of you chuckled.

“I didn’t know what my connection was until I met him”

“How did that work?” you ask curiously.

“Well our connection was dreams, we had been meeting each other in our dreams for years before we actually met.”

“So you both communicated in your dreams? How did you not know that that was your connection then?”

“We wouldn't remember anything when we woke up, it was like we were living a separate life in our sleep. It wasn’t until we touched for the first time that all of the memories from our dreams came back to us.” She was smiling fondly, looking off into the distance as she thought about her soulmate.

“I didn’t realise connections like that existed” you ponder.

“Neither did I, until it happened. Who knows, you may have a similar one, one that you are not consciously aware of.”

“Maybe…” you wondered.

“Talking of soulmates, Jeonghan and I are going for dinner tonight, so do you want to come with us?” She asks.

“I’m alright, I don’t want to third wheel you and your soulmate”

“Jeonghan’s friend is also coming, if anything I’m the third wheel, please save me” she pleads with an adorable pouting expression.

“Fine” you relent.

You were curious to meet your new best friend’s soulmate. The way she would gush about the cute dates they went on made you curious about what he was like.

That evening, Joshua and Jeonghan were on their way to the restaurant.

“Why do I need to come to dinner with your soulmate?” Joshua asked, not appreciating the last minute invitation. What if he’d had other plans? He didn’t of course, but he could have.

“Because otherwise her friend will be uncomfortable.” Jeonghan stated in response.

“Huh?”

“Y/N Won’t come if they think they’re going to be the third wheel, so you my friend need to be the fourth” he clarified with a smile and a pat on the back.

“Is it that important that Y/N comes?”

“Apparently yes. Anyway it’s not like you're paying so...”

“Why didn't you say that earlier?” Joshua smiles, patting Jeonghan on the back, as he starts to walk with a bit more of a spring in his step.

“Unbelievable” Jeonghan rolls his eyes.

Joshua had no idea why it was so important that this Y/N person came out for dinner with Jeonghan and his soulmate, but Joshua was not about to turn down a free meal.

Additionally, he knew the discomfort of being the third wheel all too well. Over the past couple of years his group mates had all been meeting their soulmates. Whether he liked it or not, he was being bombarded by loved up couples left right and centre.

He’d waited patiently for it to finally be his turn but Seokmin had met his soulmate several months ago, yet there was still no sign of his own.

It was disheartening. He never let it show since he didn’t want the pity that came with being the only single one left. Everyone always invited him to join their outings, in an effort to not make him feel left out.

He appreciated the thought, he really did. But no matter how inclusive everyone tried to be, there came times where it felt like he was sat alone at the back of a roller coaster filled with twelve happy couples in front of him.

He’d inadvertently become the ultimate third wheel of the group, so if he could help some complete stranger not feel the same awkwardness, and get a free meal out of his friend in the process, then he would happily come out to dinner.

Jeonghan and Joshua entered the restaurant. The two immediately started scanning the tables to locate the one they were looking for.

Joshua froze as his eyes landed on you. The rest of the room became irrelevant as his eyes scanned your face.

You were looking intently at the menu but he recognised you immediately.

Was he dreaming? He didn’t feel like he was.

Was this real? He could smell the mouth-watering scents from the kitchen, so it definitely felt real.

Were you really there in front of him?...

Before he knew it, he was snapped out of his daze as his impatient friend dragged him over to a table in the far corner. The one you were sat at.

Jeonghan greeted his soulmate warmly before sitting down opposite her. Joshua just stood there, staring at you in disbelief since for once he was right beside you and you hadn’t disappeared into thin air.

Jeonghan introduced himself to you before gesturing to his friend, which you thought he’d lost along the way, as there was no one taking the seat next to him.

You looked around, your eyes trained on the man looming nearby, he stood frozen by the side of the table.

Your first impression was that his lurking presence at your side should have been unnerving. But for some reason it wasn’t. You tilted your head in thought. He looked familiar but couldn’t quite place where you’d seen him before.

“Y/N, this is Joshua,” Jeonghan announces, breaking the silence that had settled as the two of you continued to stare at each other.

“It’s you….” Joshua finally speaks, finally shuffling himself into the seat opposite you without breaking eye contact.

“You know each other?” Jeonghan asks, leaning forward onto the table and resting his head on his hands, slightly intrigued.

“I don’t think so, but I feel like I’ve seen him before.” You mumble, deep in thought as you try to place him in your mind.

A small smile appears on Joshua’s face, which for some reason had your own lips naturally curling upwards in response.

“Have you perhaps seen me in your dreams every night and wondered who I was, or why I kept appearing?” he asks softly.

You nodded slowly, eyes widening as realisation dawns on your face.

“Hold on a second…” your friend looks at you in utter disbelief, swatting your arm to grab your attention away from the stunning man in front of you. “You mean to say you’ve been seeing a man you’ve never met before in your dreams every night, and you didn’t think that it could have some kind of relation to your soulmate”

“....Yes?” you mutter.

Your friend shakes her head judgementally.

“Why didn’t you say you were having dreams like that?” an equally puzzled Jeonghan turns to Joshua.

He simply shrugs, “I didn’t realise that could be a connection.”

“Even after I told you about my bizarre connection, you didn’t think that maybe those dreams probably meant something?” Jeonghan said incredulously.

Joshua doesn’t respond, he was too busy looking at you, now that you were actually sitting in front of him. It didn’t feel real, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

“Even on my day off, I’m surrounded by idiots,” Jeonghan sighed to himself.

A/N:

… So I finally finished this. Truth is I wrote the draft of this part two years ago but never got round to finishing it. Somehow I’ve managed to write 300k words of VegasPete fics in the past year, but couldn’t get my ass in gear to finish and post this one tiny one shot. Over the past few months I’ve had loads of tumblr notifications come through from people binge reading the series and liking all the parts. So the guilt of leaving Shua out has finally caught up with me. Thanks to everyone for the support over the course of this series, even if it did take nearly 6 years to complete <3

Taglist (I know it’s been two years since the last part, so sorry if you no longer wanted to be tagged) : @ohmygyaaah @btsarmy7-2013andrandomthings

#seventeen imagines #joshua imagines #seventeen fluff #seventeen au #svt joshua imagines #joshua fluff #joshua au #svt fluff #svt au

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renjunphile · 2 years

Text

Oceans and Engines | Joshua Hong

⇢ word count: 15.2k ⇢ pairing: svt's joshua hong / hong jisoo x female reader ⇢ song inspo: oceans & engines by niki ⇢ tags&warnings: exes to lovers!au, fluff, angst-ish, idol!au. fluff central. just thousands of words of self-indulgent fluff with little to no plot. ⇢ synopsis: when hong jisoo left his beloved hometown at 18 years old, he also left you, his proclaimed great love. it takes another 7 years for you to catch up to him again and close the oceans in between you. ⇢ notes: this was a self-indulgent fic i wrote in one night that i have not edited. there's a lot of parts missing that i hope to add in one day;; i added a list of songs all by niki at the end of the fic- please listen to them! they are so beautiful and what inspired me to write this fic. here's a link to the playlist if you want something to listen to while reading. 10/10 recommend btw

18 YEARS OLD, LOS ANGELES

His bags are packed in the corner of the room and you choose to ignore them as you focused on the warmth of his arms wrapped around your torso and entwined with your hand. His desk is empty and you choose to ignore that as you matched his shallow breathing behind you that filled the silence in the air. Your heart is beating out of your chest and the feeling was piercing through your every thought and emotion.

Joshua's blinds are cracked open and visions of pink, orange, red and gold paint the picture of Los Angeles' sunset onto his bedroom wall. You think it's the most beautiful sunset you've seen in your life and if it was any other day, you'd tug on Joshua's sleeve and beg to take a car ride down to the beach with a blanket and your hearts on fire.

"I love you," he whispered for the millionth time in an hour, "I always will."

"I know," you whisper against his soft skin again. tears pooling at your lash line again, "And I love you, Jisoo."

The silence falls again and your eyes dart over to the ticking clock. 5 hours to go.

"We'll make it work," he mutters, pressing his lips on the crown of your head, "You'll always be the one for me."

You just nod absentmindedly and choose to believe everything he was saying. Neither of you knew what was to come. Neither of you knew what to expect.

"Let's just enjoy our time with each other," you plead, "I'm going to miss you, Jisoo-ah."

"6000 miles," he utters the painful reminder of the distance that was to become of the two of you, "That's nothing for us. We can do that."

You squeeze his fingers laced in yours and press a kiss to the side of his neck, ever the more realistic one in your relationship, letting your eyes flutter shut as you felt the thumping of his heart under the palm of your hand. We'll be fine, you thought to yourself.

25 YEARS OLD, SEOUL

Life was about seizing every opportunity that came to you; an old friend had taught you that. When you were presented with a lucrative deal on a golden platter, there were no options other than to say yes.

That was how you found yourself in a new country and a new continent, with just two suitcases and a dream to fulfil. You weren't the most confident about the situation; you had been picked up from the comfort of your own city that you had spent the entirety of your life in and plonked across the world in a city where you knew no one. Well, no one that you spoke to anyway.

You had touched down at the airport on a rainy Thursday and crashed at your apartment in the city for two days before you could find the energy to explore your new home. Three days of café and museum hopping and tourist destinations exhausted you and you turned up to your first day at work shattered but nervous.

The HYBE building was three train stops from your apartment and entirely formidable, standing tall with 19 floors above ground and you were entranced as you walked into the lobby. It was sophisticated, modern and futuristic; a definite step up from the 4-floor walk-up studio you had been working at for 4 years.

"Y/N?" a man dressed in cargos and a loose t-shirt had called out to you, waving the hand that was perched on the information desk.

You gave a shy grin, knowing exactly who the man was in front of you, "Hi, Dohyeong!"

"It's nice to see you again. I've been tasked with showing you around and showing you the ropes here," he began, gathering a bunch of papers on the desk.

You bowed deeply, knowing that this man in front of you had made everything happen. Kwon Dohyeong, AKA Slow Rabbit was one of Big Hit and Hybe's in-house producers. His connections to the main producers at your studio meant that he had travelled to Los Angeles frequently and that led to the two of you working many times over the years on many tracks- K-pop or not. When Big Hit's only in-house female producer departed the team, they were in search of someone who could fill the large void she had left. Dohyeong had been the one to advocate and advertise you to the higher-ups and that was how you found yourself as the new in-house producer at one of the biggest and most affluent companies in the world.

"I'm so grateful to be here," you said sincerely.

"We're the lucky ones," he chided at you, handing over your lanyard, "Here's your pass around some of the doors. Most of the doors actually require face recognition too so we need to set that up before you can get anywhere. Security here is really tight because we need to protect the artists."

"Having the most popular artists in the world must come with some challenges," you agreed as you watched a large screen in the foyer flicker through some of the artists housed at the building. BTS, Tomorrow x Together, Enhypen-

"We should get going. There's a lot to tour," he tore your eyes away and began walking, "So there are 19 floors. The first 7 are for entertainment production. That's where the studios are. 8th to 16th are offices, so you won't find yourself there much, but the gyms are on the 14th to 16th floors. There are some lounges and meeting spaces right at the top. It's really nice there but gets quite busy. The rooftop is really cool too."

He passes a few security checks at some automatic doors before the two of you are stepping into an elevator with a plethora of numbers to press. He presses the 7th floor.

"Do you ever get lost?"

"All the time," he laughs, "It's actually like a maze. I can pretty much only navigate the floor with the studios and the cafés at the top. Really great coffee up there, by the way."

The elevator dings open and you're met with a series of closed sliding doors. He punches in a code this time and takes you down a corridor.

"We all get our own studio here. And there are a lot of empty ones for the artists, should they want to experiment with producing. Yours is just here," he stops in front of a door halfway down and then looks around, "Mine is down the other hallway. This one across from you is Universe Factory; it's like 3 studios in one. So this hallway can sometimes get noisy."

"Noisy? Why?"

He points to the sign next to the door that reads Universe Factory. Woozi. Bumzu. Kyuhoon. "Woozi from Seventeen? The boys come here to record everything so their sheer presence up and down this hallway is generally quite loud."

You swallow the nervousness that had been building up in your throat. Of course, you wouldn't get very far from him in this building. You guessed your path would cross one day, but you didn't imagine he'd be working right outside your studio.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. I'll have my headphones in all the time anyway," you dismissed, wanting to move the conversation along, "Can I peak at the studio?"

He smiled at you, seeing the excited glint in your eye, "Go ahead. Welcome to your new home."

A knock comes at your door three days later. By this time, you had settled into the studio and figured out the equipment that was miles ahead more advanced than what you had at home. Most of the in-house producers had dropped by your studio to greet you as you would all be frequently collaborating. Most of them.

"Hold on," you call out, hoping they'd hear through the very reinforced walls as you slipped your headphones off and paused the track that you had been playing around with.

You opened the door and your stomach dropped.

"Hey! You're the new producer, right? I'm Woozi- I work here," he points to the door behind him, "I just wanted to say hello and apologise in advance for the rowdiness that's about to happen. We're about to start recording for our next album. We have a comeback in a few weeks, but we already have to record the next album!"

You give him a weak smile, "I'm Y/N. And it's no worries. I won't hear a thing."

"Adora used to always complain," Woozi chuckled to himself, "I'll send the boys over with some gifts to tide you over when we start."

"No!" you immediately exclaimed before seeing the perplexity in his face as you caught yourself, "I mean- you don't have to do that. You guys must be very busy. I'll be just fine- don't worry! Good luck on your recording!"

Woozi was a perceptive person. He definitely knew you were trying to send him away- but for what reason, he didn't know. He gave you a final smile, "Okay, well I'll head into my studio. Give me a knock if you ever need anything."

"Will do. Thanks," you breathed out before closing the door behind you.

What a complete disaster.

You thought you had managed to avoid the situation and ward off the Seventeen boys for the time being. When they began recording the day after, you were pleased to find out that their noise wasn't entirely distracting if you had your headphones on, but you had to schedule your trips out of your studio according to the noise level outside.

That was how you had been having lunch at 3 PM for the past 3 days since the Seventeen boys were in and out of the recording studio until then, which was when you assumed they went to the practice rooms three floors down.

You had been working for a little over a week and were delighted with your new role, aside from the feeling that would erupt from your stomach every time you heard footsteps outside. You had met all the producers and worked a little on a couple of tracks with them while continuing to conjure up some of your own in hopes for them to be picked up by someone.

You were safe, until you weren't anymore.

"Y/N," a familiar voice called behind you. Shit, you thought they'd be gone. It was 5 PM already.

You turned around and smiled, "Woozi. What are you doing here so late?"

"No dance practice today so we're recording for longer," he shrugged, "Where are you off to? Home?"

"Just getting a coffee from upstairs," you gestured to the lift at the end of the hallway, "Gonna stay for a bit longer and try to finish up some tracks."

"You're gonna have to let me hear your music sometime. I'm a big fan of what you have out," he grins at you, "I'm actually going up too."

He knew who you were? That sounded... dangerous.

"Jihoon-ah, wait up," a figure emerged from Woozi's studio as the door clicked shut behind him. Blonde and mighty, Yoon Jeonghan was bounding towards the two of you, "I want a drink too."

"No coffee," Jihoon scolded, "Messes with your voice."

Jeonghan put his hands up, "I just wanted tea. My voice is getting scratchy," he turns to look at you, "You must be the new producer! I'm Jeonghan."

"Does everyone know there's a new producer?" you grinned awkwardly, "Y/N. Of course, I know who you are."

"We just know that your studio has been vacant for a while and we were wondering who we'd come and annoy next," he teased, "Y/N. What's your last name?"

Uh-oh. You could lie, right? You should, right? Just in case.

Jeonghan's eyes flickered down to the name badge that also held a picture of you without the mask you were adorning, "Y/L/N. Wait. You seem familiar. Have we met?"

"Hyung, that's greasy. Don't flirt with our new producer," Jihoon elbowed him in the side as the three of you walked into the elevator and Jihoon pressed the number for the café.

"I'm not flirting!" he defended as his eyes scanned over you, "I feel like I've seen your face and name before."

"I wouldn't know where," you retreated to the corner, timid in stature, "I've only been here a week. Maybe you've seen some of my music?"

Jeonghan's shoulders deflated, "Hm, maybe."

A silence fell on the three of you in the elevator as it shot up towards the top floors. Jihoon was tapping his feet on the metal floor to a beat and you were anxiously playing with your fingers, praying that Yoon Jeonghan did not know who you were.

The elevator door dinged, signalling that you had reached your floor at the same time Jeonghan reached his eureka moment. As soon as the doors opened, you began to make your escape, "Nice to see you guys. Bye!"

"Wait!" Jeonghan called out after you, "You're-"

You had fled around a corner before he could finish his sentence.

"Hyung, what was that?" Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows at the older man.

Jeonghan turned to his bandmate with a solemn stare, "Jihoon, that's Shua's ex-girlfriend."

Jeonghan's knock came two hours later. You could say you didn't expect it, but you hoped he would come and talk.

"Oh you're still here," he breathed out in relief, "Can I come in?"

You looked past him, confirming there was no one around before opening your door wider and gesturing for him to come inside.

"Can we talk?" he took a seat on the couch pressed up on the wall, "I feel like we should talk."

"We should," you hummed as you took your seat on your spinning chair and faced him.

"You're who I think you are, right?" Jeonghan began cautiously, "Y/N. From Los Angeles."

"You're right," you affirmed nervously, "How do you know who I am?"

"I've heard a lot about you. I feel like I know you already even though we'd never met," he chuckled to himself.

"He talked about me? I'd only met Vernon a few times on the phone all those years ago."

"Well, not by choice. I forced a lot of it out of him because I was curious and I'm his best friend, but eventually, he'd just start talking about you to me on his own. I'm probably one of the only ones who know about you past your name," Jeonghan recalled, "Maybe Minghao since they talk over wine a lot. Those two definitely know more about each other than they let on. But I've seen pictures of the two of you. That's why I recognised you."

"Ah, I see."

You bowed your head, looking at your folded hands in your lap and unsure of how to feel that Joshua had talked about you past your break up.

"My question is, Y/N, does he know? That you're here?"

You met his eyes again, "Does he need to?"

"It's been a while since the two of you have spoken right?"

"7 years," you recount, "Give or take."

"I think he needs to know," Jeonghan advised, "I won't tell him anything if you don't want me to but what happens when you two run into each other one day in the hallway? What happens when he focuses his eyes too long on the name plaque outside your door while waiting to go into Universe Factory? What happens when you produce a track for us and need to record with Joshua? It'd be best for your reunion to take place somewhere private."

You sighed, "I know I'd run into him eventually or have to confront this situation. I almost didn't take the job out of respect for Joshua and keeping my distance, but this is all I could dream of," you gesture to the equipment and the studio behind you, "I don't know how Joshua'll react, to be honest."

"How do you want him to?"

You pause and think about Jeonghan's words. Did you want Joshua crying, scooping you up in his arms and sobbing about how much he'd missed you? Or would it be easier for him to loathe your existence and newfound proximity?

"I don't know," you mumble.

"Do you want to see him again?" Jeonghan presses on, "He's in the studio right now. About to be done with recording."

You gulped at the thought of seeing your ex-boyfriend once again for the first time in 8 years. You hadn't been prepared for this, but you don't think you ever will be. Besides, getting it out of the way was probably the best option.

"Yes. I do."

Another knock. It came just 20 minutes after Jeonghan had set off to get Joshua and prepare him. You look through the peephole to find Jeonghan grasping the arm of your ex-boyfriend adorned in a hoodie and sweats. He looked adorable.

You opened the door slowly, keeping your body behind and protected.

"Don't be nervous," Jeonghan cooed as he tugged Joshua inside, "Shua, meet our new producer."

"Jisoo-ah," you exhaled, meeting the eyes once more of the person you loved with your entire being, "Hi."

Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your head was spinning. Your hands were clammy.

Joshua's mouth parted in shock as he looked between Jeonghan and you. And then his gaze fixed on you, "Y/N."

"I'll leave the two of you to it. Don't get back too late, Shua," Jeonghan winked at his best friend and swiftly exited, leaving the two of you in a silent room standing and staring at each other.

You were the one to break the silence, "I know this is a bit of a surprise- a bit unexpected, but-"

You didn't really have an ending to your sentence and a quietness filled the space in front of you. He was standing two feet away, but it still felt like 6000 miles.

"What are you doing here, Y/N?" he said incredulously, "You're our new producer?"

"Surprise?" you uttered awkwardly, "Dohyeong from Big Hit scouted me to replace Adora as an in-house producer. I couldn't say no."

Joshua's mind flashed back to all those nights in your small room where you'd be messing around on Garage Band and he'd be on your bed cooing sweet words into the microphone attached to the laptop, "Of course. This is a dream come true for you. I'm proud of you."

"You are?"

"This has always been your dream, hasn't it? Get out of Los Angeles and be a big producer," he recalled, "Guess we're both living our dreams now."

"Yeah, I guess," you smiled softly to yourself.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" his eyebrows pulled into a furrow.

Your heart ached, "I didn't think we were on speaking terms, Joshua. I know I should have since I'm working in the same building as you, but I didn't- It was hard."

"My mom didn't say you were moving here. She just said you were moving far away."

"Your mom still talks to you about me?"

You knew that Joshua's mother used to update him about you fresh from your breakup, but you didn't think she was still doing so 7 years later, especially after she stopped talking to you about him. It was probably your fault anyway. It was probably how your entire demeanour dropped and something clouded over your eyes when she mentioned his name. That was around the time she stopped inviting you to dinner at their house; she had found you once grasping a picture frame on their mantel- one of the two of you at your middle school graduation.

"You're the daughter she's always wanted," Joshua smiled thinly, "I know it hurt her to distance from you when I left."

You remembered the day one month ago when you approached her at the end of a church service and told her that you'd be moving far away, hopefully permanently. She had pulled you into one of her famous tight hugs and stroked your hair the same way Joshua used to, telling you that she always knew you'd achieve your dream. Sure, your job in Los Angeles was cushy and it was probably beneficial due to artists all over the world coming to the city to work with producers, but you wanted out. You had been born and raised in the same place, and you wanted a change.

"I didn't tell her," you admitted, "In case she would tell you."

He folded his arms together and squinted, emotions unreadably, "So I found out like this? By Jeonghan recognising you and effectively forcing you to tell me? Were you going to tell me?"

"Of course," you defended, "I just didn't know how. I don't even know how to contact you and how was I explain to Jihoon that I needed to talk to you without seeming like an ill-intentioned obsessive fan?"

"You could have asked my mom for my number," he deadpanned.

"Oh," you snorted to yourself, "Didn't think of that."

He was still standing on the same spot by the door, afraid to move any closer, "Well, I'm glad you're here, Y/N. Don't be a stranger."

"He what?"

"He left! He just left! He told me 'don't be a stranger' and left without giving me any way to contact him," you screeched to your best friend over the phone.

Her mighty laugh rang through the speakers and into your bedroom the next morning. You had just got up, about to get ready to go to work, but it was just the evening the day before for her, "Y/N, you're so screwed."

"Screwed? Why?"

"You're working in the same building as your great, lost love," she pointed out, "How do you think that's going to play out?"

"He's not my great, lost love," you snorted in denial.

"Okay, tell that to your songs then," Yoona drawled, "All of your songs."

Rolling your eyes, you chuckled, "Come on, Yoona. He's an idol and I work in the same company as him. We're not getting back together. And he definitely does not have any feelings for me anymore; it's been 7 years. Is he even allowed to date?"

"I heard Pledis doesn't have a dating ban. Plus, it's been 7 years for you too, but you're still in love with him. He could be in the same position."

"I'm not still in love with him!" you yelled in defence.

"I've never heard such bullshit, Y/N. You haven't dated a single person in 7 years. What does that say about you?"

"I've been on dates!"

"You've been on a trillion first dates," she reminded you, "Never a second. There was always something wrong with them. 'Oh, he lives too far away.' 'Oh, he doesn't have a car.' 'Oh, he doesn't like the beach.' 'Oh, he doesn't sing.' 'Oh, he didn't open the car door for me.'"

"I had standards, Yoona."

"No, Y/N, you had Joshua. And every person after you compared to him. You still do. You wouldn't date anyone too distinctly different from Joshua, because they weren't him. You wouldn't date anyone that was too similar because they just reminded you of him. Admit it, all you wanted was him."

Her words targeted your heart directly as you looked back on the past 7 lonely years.

"I have to get ready for work," you said quietly.

"Okay. I love you, Y/N, but it's going to be hard living in denial like you have been for 7 years when he's so close to you now."

You ended the call, feeling worse than you did at the start of the call. Yoona knew everything about you; she had been one of your closest friends since the start of high school, so she knew you for about 5 years of your long relationship with Joshua. She was the one that held you together through the sophomore year of college when your relationship fizzled out and got too hard. She had been the one to make sure you were taking care of yourself when all you wanted to do was lie in bed, curtains drawn and reminisce over every picture you had of your love.

She knew you better than you knew yourself, and she was right. It felt like in 7 years you never confronted and came to terms with your feelings for Joshua. All you did was write archives and archives of songs about him, without internalising all the lyrics you wrote about letting him go. You would spend countless sleepless nights penning lyrics of your relationship and then recording them, only for no one to hear and to be stored in that dreaded 'for you' folder on your laptop.

Whatever, you thought as you peeled away your covers, you had to go to work.

You quickly made yourself presentable, as if you hadn't been tossing and turning all night about your reunion with your ex-boyfriend, and got on the train to the building. You spent the 5-minute ride with your ears plugged and your earphones blasting your favourite artist to distract you from your thoughts. It was no good reminiscing. It never did your heart any favours.

"Good morning, Y/N," Dohyeong stepped into the elevator with you, "How was your night?"

"Didn't get a lot of sleep. So tired," you mumbled.

"You wanna get coffee upstairs?" he offered, tone friendly.

"Maybe later. I just wanna get into the studio already. One of those days where you're overflowing with ideas."

He smiled, "Those days are good."

The elevator stopped on your floor and the two of you got out, pausing briefly to say goodbye as you split into different hallways. You prodded along to your studio, turning on the lights and all your equipment as you placed your bags down. Immediately, you felt your body relax in the environment. Your studio would always be your safe space, no matter if it was your laptop and mic in your childhood bedroom, your box of a room in downtown LA or this high-tech one in the middle of Seoul. You could feel all your worries dissipate as you slipped on your headphones and loaded up your software.

An hour later, you heard a knock at your door. It took you a few moments to reach it, but when you finally opened the door, there was no one there. There was just a coffee cup placed on the floor on the holder and a chocolate bar. Picking it up, you furrowed your eyes.

The label read that it was an iced hazelnut latte; your favourite. How had Dohyeong known your order? It must have been that time you got coffee in the first week.

'Have a good day :)' was written on the side of the cup, and all seemed like such a nice gesture.

Up until you realised that the message was written in English. In a scrawl all too familiar to you. In the phrase that would end every letter that Joshua would send to you from when he was abroad and you were trying to make your relationship work.

There was no way that Joshua had got you coffee, right?

But the drinks started turning up almost every day; the same drink with the same message written on the side, with nothing ever pointing you to the direction of Joshua. He had not once turned up at your door seeking recognition for his acts of kindness. Not once had he ever left you any hint that it was him and you were beginning to think that the barista from upstairs had a crush on you or something and noted your foreign twang in your accent.

"Dohyeong," you walked into his studio, holding the 8th cup you had received, utterly baffled and desperate to get to the bottom of the mystery.

"Hey! Is that for me?" he pouted at the coffee in your hand, even though you spotted a newly finished cup next to his mouse.

"Apparently, it's for me," you looked at the cup curiously, "Someone's been putting coffee outside my door for the past week and a half with the same 'Have a good day' written on it but I don't know who it's from."

His eyes widened at the gesture, "Well, it's not me. I promise. Looks like you have a secret admirer, Y/N."

Ah, so not Dohyeong. That didn't really leave the hunt closed, because why would Joshua do it? Wasn't it risky to be seen putting coffee cups outside your door every day?

"If you ask me," Dohyeong cut in through your thoughts, "I'd say Jihoon. You guys have met a few times, you say? You once saw him in the queue for the café? And he works across you so he could knock quickly and then escape into his studio. He's there almost every day since the guys aren't promoting right now."

You weren't about to reveal your previous relationship to Dohyeong and it might've been Jihoon for all you knew. But Jihoon knew you were Joshua's ex-girlfriend right? Does bro-code even apply to a situation like this?

"You're overthinking, Y/N," Dohyeong placed his hands on your shoulders and moved you towards the door, "Just get to your studio early tomorrow and camp out by your peephole. I'm sure you'll catch them in the act."

"This is ridiculous," you huff, sipping on the coffee made just how you liked it.

"By the way, Y/N," his tone turned teasing, "The Pledis boys are allowed to date. Just thought they were all dating each other, though."

The next day, you were camped out at your studio at 8:30 AM. You never used to get in until around an hour later, but sometimes the coffee would already be there when you got to work. Sometimes there was a knock, but the person was always quick to get away.

You refrained from setting up your equipment and putting your headphones on, because you knew that they'd get away too quickly if you did. Instead, you were sitting on the couch adjacent to the door, waiting for their knock or some footsteps outside.

Around half an hour later, you heard shuffling outside your door. Jumping up from your seat, you scrambled to the peephole and peered outside, only for your worst fears to come true. Jihoon, not Joshua, was outside, setting the coffee down with a knock before dashing into his studio.

There was no way. Jihoon did not have a crush on you, right? Maybe it was just a nice gesture from him, but why would he leave it anonymous? The anonymity of the whole ordeal just made everything more suspicious.

But, why did the handwriting look like Joshua's?

You weren't a confrontational person; you never had been, but desperate times called for desperate measures and you had to squash any ideas in Jihoon's head and find out if he even had any! It took you an hour of building up courage and pep-talking yourself before you marched two steps across the hallway and knocked on the door.

"Y/N," Bumzu smiled at you, "To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Can I speak to Jihoon, please?"

He nodded, opening the door wider and letting you inside. You had never been inside Universe Factory before, and you assumed it was going to be a different layout due to having multiple studios inside, but the place surprised you. It was like stepping into a new building, with another hallway facing you and doors on either side.

"He's the second door on the right, but he might be in here," Bumzu pointed to the first door on your left, "Some of the boys just got here, so probably recording."

"Oh they are?" you gulped at the idea of running into Joshua, "I'll just come back another time."

"No, no! I'm sure it's fine. The boys are nice; you should meet them," Bumzu urged, about to open the door to the spare studio.

"No! Just tell him I dropped by-"

"Hi hyung," before Bumzu could open the door himself, the door swung open, "What's all this noise out here? Oh! Hi Y/N."

You pressed your lips into a thin smile, "Hi Jeonghan."

"What are you doing here?"

"Is Jihoon in there? She wants to talk to Jihoon," Bumzu revealed, pushing open the door. In fact, Jihoon was in there, alongside every other member of their vocal team.

"Vocal team are recording our title track today," Jeonghan informed you, leading you inside the large studio that was decorated quite plain as it was only a spare, "You should come and watch."

"Oh, Y/N!" Jihoon grinned as he saw you come in and the door close behind, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Nothing, nothing. I can just come back," you tried to dismiss, heading for the door already before a hand caught your wrist.

"You should stay," Joshua murmured, "Do you want to watch?"

"That's a good idea," Jihoon hummed, "You haven't recorded with any of the artists yet, right? I'll even give you the reins when I record since I still can't trust these 4."

There were two other members sitting on the couch who you hadn't met yet. They both shot you a grin.

"Seungkwan. DK," you smiled at them, "I'm Y/N, the new producer at Hybe."

"You're really pretty!" DK grinned, shaking your hand.

Jeonghan scoffed, slapping the back of his head as he pouted, "She's your noona. Stop it."

As you shook Seungkwan's hand, DK just gave you a cheekier grin, oblivious to the stares of the three who knew who you were, "You can call me Seokmin."

"Sit down, Y/N," Jihoon pointed at the vacant spinning chair, "You can help all you want or just observe! Who's next?"

Joshua began walking over to the microphone on the other side of the room, sliding the headphones on and giving you a nervous look.

"Don't get shy, Shua," Jeonghan smirked, which just grew more mischievous at the warning look you had shot him.

"We're recording our title track for our next album. It's called Rock with You," Woozi informed you, showing you the screen on his computer to display all the complex layers the song already had, "Joshua, ready when you are."

Joshua's familiar vocals soon filled the room, taking you right back to all those years ago when the two of you would play around with less sophisticated software and cheap mics. His voice had definitely developed, but he had always been incredibly talented. 8 years of expensive vocal training had just enhanced and controlled what he already had.

"You, who let me become this song right now. You're coming towards me, three, two, one," Joshua crooned into the mic, familiar as ever.

"Good," Jihoon noted, "Make the 'now' a bit shorter. And less breathy."

Joshua nodded, repeating the line into the mic and following the instructions. You would forever be in awe of him and his voice.

"Let's do the dubbing now. One take."

Joshua chuckled, sending pangs straight to your heart.

Jihoon instructed for him to go, with Joshua singing the parts that would layer over the other members. He even did a line in his famous falsetto, one that would never fail to amaze you.

"One take wonder," Joshua grinned as he slipped the headphones off and sat next to Seungkwan on the sofa, eyes avoiding you.

The other three members recorded their parts too, with you complimenting their outstanding voices and giving little offerings of advice whenever they would ask you how you thought it went. When Jihoon was about to record, he let you take his seat in front of his computer and gave you the lyrics to the song.

Their recording swiftly finished, and when you thought you could make a quick escape, Seokmin had asked you a question, "Do you sing as well, Y/N?"

"Ah!" Seungkwan sounded out loud, "There's no way you're Y/N from YouTube right?"

You were panicked. Seungkwan knew your YouTube channel that you hadn't updated in over a year.

"Oh, yeah. I don't have many subscribers- how'd you know?"

"You have like a million," Seungkwan scoffed, "I really like your song called Before."

Oh, shit. The one and only song about Joshua that you had released to the public.

"Sing it for us, please! I want to hear your voice," DK clapped in his seat.

"I can sing you another song," you said softly, nervously, "I don't even remember how that one goes."

"I do!" Seungkwan called out, "Didn't it go like: "You were all I'd ever known and now I'm supposed to love you from a distance, like it's nothing, like its instant and you say "let's just see where this goes" and I don't know how or why you seem just fine, coz I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore. It's so cruel how things are only almost like they were before."

If you could do a facepalm in that room right now, you would. What were the chances that Joshua's bandmate would have heard the song you released about him, remember how the melody went and the English lyrics of the song and sing it while he was in the same room as you.

"It did go like that," you weren't sure if you were humiliated or heartbroken. Probably both, "I should go."

You didn't even give the other boys a chance to say anything before you bolted out of the room.

Jeonghan stared at the two oblivious on the couch, hands on his hips and shaking his head, "Dumb and dumber. The two of you."

"What did we do?" Seungkwan's voice raised a few octaves as he yelled out in confusion, "What's wrong with him?"

Joshua was banging his head softly against the wall next to the couch, groaning softly at the scene that just played out in front of him.

"Y/N wrote that song," Jihoon drawled softly, to Seungkwan's small 'duh!, "Presumably about an ex? Maybe?"

"Oh yeah, I think the song's about being in a weird situation with a long-distance ex, if I remember correctly," Seungkwan piped up.

"So what's wrong?" Seokmin asked, curious.

"Well, guess who's our poor little Joshua's ex-girlfriend?"

Seokmin and Seungkwan's eyes widened in realisation, mouths dropping at the bomb. Seokmin began nervously laughing, "Wow, what a small world, huh?"

It was only your third week at your new job, and a lot had happened already. You were beginning to doubt if it was such a good idea to have taken the job in the first place, considering your ties to a certain individual. You knew it was going to cause you trouble, but you didn't think it would do so this early.

You were sitting at your desk, head in your hands and breathing deeply as you tried to calm yourself down about the situation that had transpired. Joshua had never heard any songs that you wrote about him during your long-distance relationship, and of course, he never heard any song that you wrote after you broke up. You were mortified at the idea of him knowing how you felt during that time, and you should have known that releasing that one song into the world for people to hear without regulation was a bad idea.

The knock at your door pulled you out of your thoughts. You were in a half a mind to ignore it, but you knew that would help no one.

"Can we talk?" Joshua was standing outside your studio, expression unreadable.

"Yeah," you welcomed him in, closing the door behind you and trapping the two of you in your studio, a bubble away from the world, "I'm sorry about what happened. I didn't know Seungkwan knew who I was, let alone knew this one song I released among a few."

"It's not your fault," Joshua sighed, "It's mine. I'm sorry; I should have told them that you were here."

"Who does know?" you asked, "About me?"

"Well, all the boys knew I had a girlfriend back then. They knew your name, of course, but since you never met them and we both grew up, that's probably why they don't recognise you," Joshua voiced as he walked through the answer in his head, "And they knew you were from home, so they don't expect you to be here. But, obviously, Jeonghan and Jihoon know about you being here. And Vernon, because I tell him everything too and you had met."

"I see," you noded.

"Is that song about me?"

Ah, the golden question that made you cringe internally as you pulled your lips into a tight line, "Heartbreak's a very good inspiration."

"And what would you say if I asked to hear it?"

"I'd say, do you want me to die from humiliation?" you fired back, playfully.

A smile invaded Joshua's face, "Fine, I won't push," his eyes flickered to the cup on your desk, "You haven't drunk your coffee today?"

Oh, the coffee mystery; the whole reason you got into the mess at Universe Factory.

You held it up, confused, "Are these from you? I saw Jihoon putting it in front of my door today. This is like the 9th one!"

He smiled slyly, "Jihoon puts them outside, but I order it and write the note. Felt like it was suspicious to anyone walking past if it was me. Jihoon is across you, so it seemed less weird. You couldn't tell?"

"There's not exactly a 'from Joshua' on the end of the note," you counter, "And why would you?"

"You know I love me my acts of service," Joshua said, "I used to get you this every other day at the start of school from the Starbucks across the road. Of course, it was from me!"

"You're confusing, Joshua."

"Confusing? Why?"

"Cause you used to do this when we were dating," you pointed out, "We're not dating anymore."

"Ouch," Joshua smiled, pain decorating his features, "I'll stop if it makes you uncomfortable."

You sighed, running your hands through your hair, "It's not that, Joshua."

"Then, what is it?"

"I just don't want to get the wrong idea," you admitted, "I don't want to be deluded into thinking that you still want anything to do with me."

"Y/N, what? I want everything to do with you," he furrowed his eyebrows, stopping himself from reaching out to take your hand, "You'll always be important to me."

"Don't say things like that, Joshua," you pleaded, fighting to stop tears pooling at your lashline, "How am I meant to take that? I've been trying to move on for 7 years, Joshua, but this is really not going to help."

"Have you moved on?" his voice was small and reluctant.

"I don't know, Joshua. We dated for 5 years. I was so in love with you and you were my entire universe, and then you were just gone. Do you know how hard that is for someone? I didn't know anything about what you were doing for a whole year until your debut. Then you were everywhere. All our friends kept up with your group. They always talked about you. They always told me that you'd come back too, and you never did!" you ranted at him, slowly starting to pace the room back and forth and Joshua remained glued to his spot.

"You were the one that wanted to break up, Y/N," Joshua reminded you, "I loved you just as much as you loved me. More, by the end of it."

"Don't say shit like that," you snapped, "I always only grew to love you more each day, but you weren't being realistic. You were training practically 24 hours a day. I didn't know what times I could call you, so I was always just waiting and waiting for the phone to ring, hoping I even had 20 minutes of your time. And when you would call, I'd always be asleep and out of it. I loved you, Joshua, but it didn't feel like a relationship anymore. I went to college and you had your career here, 6000 miles away."

"But we always said that we could do it. That we'd fight through anything."

"Did you really think that it was even wise to have a girlfriend while you were training? And what would have happened if we were still together by the time you debuted? What if people from back home exposed you, exposed us? It wouldn't have been a good image," you said, "Don't ever think that breaking up with you was an easy decision; it was and will forever be the hardest choice I've ever made in my life. Do you think I wanted to lose you either? To spend all those years crying and pining after you, when I knew I couldn't have you?"

"I'm sorry," he apologised, "I know it was unfair on you and I knew it was hard for you. I've always been yours, Y/N. Through all these years."

Your heart thudded against your chest, the only sound in the silent room.

"We could try again," he said quietly, "You're here now and we're older and I'm allowed to date, and you work in the building so we're protected and-"

"But we grew up, Joshua. We don't know the first thing about each other anymore."

He closed the gap between you, taking his hand in yours and meeting your worried eyes, "But you'll always be the one thing I can't outgrow."

"I told you so," Yoona grinned smugly on your screen as she applied her makeup, "3 weeks, huh? Thought it'd take longer to be honest."

"We're not dating," you quipped.

"Yet. You told him you weren't over him. He told you that he's loved you still all these years-"

"He didn't say that!"

"Y/N, you're so blind. He said to you that he's been yours all these years. What do you think that means? Anyway, where does this leave you then?" she rolled her eyes.

"Well, he gave me his number, for one," you chuckled, "He said I should come over and we can catch up and talk for longer, but he had to go to practice. Then he said I need to meet his members soon too."

"Down bad," she laughed, "He wouldn't introduce you to his members if he wasn't sure about wanting you back in his life. Take this opportunity and sprint, Y/N. It's what you've been wanting for 7 years."

"I'm still not sure if it's a good idea. He's still an idol. I know he's allowed to date, but it seems so risky."

"It's the perfect set up, silly!" Yoona exclaimed, "You're a producer at Hybe. If the public ever finds out a thing, the company will just say that you're working together. As long as you don't get caught kissing or holding hands in public, it's not that suspicious."

You sighed, thinking through her words. She was right, but you were still reluctant.

"Don't overthink. Just see how it goes," Yoona said softly, "If all goes to shit, just be friends. You were friends for 10 years before dating."

"Does that count? We were children," you hummed, "I remember more from when we were dating."

"Okay fine. If all goes to shit, quit your job and move back here," she glared, "But you won't do that, would you? So make it work; the universe gave you a second chance."

A second chance, you repeated to yourself. It was up to you what you were going to do with it.

"Welcome to the 6th-floor dorm," Joshua whispered quietly, leading you into a modern and bright apartment. It was quite evident that boys lived there if the endless consoles at the TV and the wall of shoes by the door told you anything. It wasn't messy, but the organised clutter made it seem like it was, "Sorry about the mess. The only clean dorm is Wonwoo and Mingyu's."

"Is anyone here?" you looked around.

"Uh, I don't think so. Myungho's usually upstairs with Jun and Vernon, and Coups is probably on the 8th floor with Jeonghan or out eating." Joshua led you through the apartment, ending up at the door at the end of the hallway, "This is where no magic happens."

His room was fairly organised; his guitar sat in the corner and posters of his favourite band were placed strategically on his walls. Joshua was glad he had done his laundry the day before since they usually littered the couch that was placed under the window.

"It's nice," you smile, "Reminds me of your room at home."

"That's what I was going for," he uttered, sitting on the bed, "I know I've been in Korea for like a third of my life now, but home will always be home. I miss it."

"How long has it been since you went back?"

"I went to LA at the start of last year for tour, but I couldn't even go back home," he sighed, "I really want to see everyone again. How're our friends?"

"I call Yoona almost every day. She's getting married," you smiled, "The others I keep in touch with when they come back to LA from all the corners of the world they moved to after high school."

"Yoona's getting married already?" his eyes widened.

"25's a pretty normal age to get married," you shrugged, thinking about your best friend who had been with her boyfriend from college for 5 years now.

"Damn, I lost a bet with Jae-seok then," Joshua chuckled, "I'm surprised he hasn't called to claim his money from me."

"What bet?"

"It's silly but we bet back in high school who'd get married first in the friendship group. He said Yoona would. He said that she's had her wedding planned since she was like 11."

"She has. That was a pretty safe bet. Who did you bet on?"

Joshua smirked, "Us, of course."

You blushed red, turning to look away from him. You let your eyes wander around the room. A small patch of wall was covered in polaroids, arranged in a grid pattern, with writing on the white slips at the bottom.

"You can investigate," Joshua permitted, seeing your gaze on the wall.

The majority of them were pictures of him and his members. Some were old- probably from their training days and a lot were more recent since they seemed to resemble his grown features. Your eyes caught on one around the bottom left corner. It was a polaroid of you and him, smiling sweetly at the camera in front of the castle at Disneyland in Anaheim. His arm was around your waist, the other throwing up a peace sign and you were mirroring his pose.

Joshua smiled from behind you, plucking the polaroid away from the adhesive on the wall and flashing you the back that was covered in white marker.

"For my prince," he read out loud, grinning, "When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true."

"I forgot I wrote that," you smiled to yourself, "Thanks for keeping it."

"It's one of my favourites," Joshua returned its space on the wall, "And you look so beautiful in it."

"Still the gentleman, huh?"

He smirked again, "Haven't you heard, darling? That's my brand now."

You joined in with his laughter, "They should get to know the real you. Let's see what they say then."

Joshua took a seat next to you on the couch, "That's only for you to know."

His close proximity had your heart speeding up and caused your breath to hitch, "Why are you so close? Go back over there."

"Am I making you nervous?" he smiled innocently.

"When did you get this brave, huh?" you shuffled a little further down the seat, but he followed.

"I've always been brave. That's how you get everything you want. By being brave and taking chances," he dropped his voice to a whisper, closing even more distance between the two of you.

If you knew better, you'd think he was going to kiss you. He wouldn't right? Yeah, his head was getting closer to yours, but what did that mean?

"What are you thinking about?" he asked you.

You laughed nervously, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Well I'm thinking about how much I've missed you," he admitted, "And how much I want to-"

A loud thump sounded against Joshua's door, followed by high pitch shrieks. Then you heard a faint voice yell, "What are you idiots doing?"

Joshua groaned loudly, shaking his head as he stood up and bee-lined to the door. Upon opening it, Hoshi, Jun and Dino fell into Joshua's room.

"Are you guys serious?" Joshua growled, "I'm going to kill you all."

"Don't blame us!" Hoshi put his hands up, "We just came to collect Myungho for practice, but then he said he heard a girl's voice."

Minghao was standing in the hallway behind the three that had been peered up against the door, a bashful look on his face, "You should've told me you were having a girl over, hyung."

"I didn't think you were home!" Joshua defended, "What are you doing here, Jeonghan?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go out for dinner with me and Cheol. Then I found these three bozos with their ears pressed against the door and Myungho not even stopping them! Hi Y/N, by the way."

You waved awkwardly, refusing to budge from the couch.

"You know who she is?" Dino asked curiously.

"She's the new producer at Hybe, you idiots. Why does no one pay attention?" Jeonghan revealed.

"Hyung! You woo'ed the new producer?" Jun exclaimed incredulously, amazed at the idea.

"Oh my God. I can't take it anymore!" Joshua cried out, "Call everyone here. Band meeting. Now."

That was how you found yourself squished on a couch in their apartment, endless pairs of curious eyes on you in a silent room. Joshua was sat next to you, squinting at his members.

"Do any of you know the meaning of boundaries?" Joshua then glared specifically at Seungkwan and Seokmin, "Or making guests feel comfortable?"

"Uh, what is this about, hyung?" Mingyu piped up from an adjacent couch, entirely confused.

"You're all going to find out one day, so I'd rather just tell all of you now at once, but this is Y/N, our new producer at Hybe," Joshua explained. You watched as Vernon's eyes widened in realisation, "Yes, she's also my ex-girlfriend from home. The one I've told you all about."

Noise suddenly filled the room as the boys connected the dots and began talking over each other to fire endless questions.

"Are you dating again?" Chan was ever so curious.

"No."

"Yes."

A collective 'aw!" filled the room as you and Joshua looked at each other.

"No, we're not," you clarified.

"Yet!" Joshua piped up.

"Says who? I haven't agreed to anything!"

Jeonghan laughed from around his lover's arm, "Look at them, Cheollie. They make me sick."

"Shut up, Jeonghan," Joshua fired to his best friend, "Anyway. That's all. You nosy, invasive people can all leave now."

"But I have so many questions," Soonyoung pouted.

Joshua glared at all of them, practically forcing all of them out of the apartment with his deadly gaze, "Get out."

Two days later, you were back in the studio after a weekend off. You had spent that time recuperating from the stressful ordeals of the week before and also exploring the city a bit more. Going out by yourself was always one of your favourite activities since you could create any schedule and itinerary you wanted without worrying about pleasing another person.

Joshua had pouted to you over text the whole weekend since he had to spend the entirety of it at dance practice for their comeback. He didn't have time to see you but promised to take you out to dinner on Monday night.

Monday morning, you were met with coffee on the floor in front of your studio again. You picked it up, happy to see that Joshua had signed it off with a heart. He had told you that it would be too risky to leave his name on it in case someone picked it up randomly, and so the both of you just agreed to leave names off.

You shot him a thank you text for once, and he replied saying he'd come and visit on his break. You felt like a school girl once again, giggling over her crush. It was nice having a crush again, even if you'd been in love with said crush for 12 years.

His break came 4 hours later, around lunchtime when Joshua turned up at your door with cups of iced tea and a plastic bag filled with Tupperwares of food.

"You're my new lunch buddy now," Joshua grinned at you, setting up the food at the table in the corner of the room.

"How will your poor members feel?" you awed.

"They'll get over it. I want to spend time with my princess."

You rolled your eyes, hiding the blush that invaded your cheeks, "Don't call me that."

"You love it," Joshua teased, "Anyway, I got us tteokbokki and chicken. I know you love Korean fried chicken."

"I've been getting my fix since I came here, don't worry," you think about how you've been ordering chicken to your apartment almost daily.

"Eat up," he offered, "And don't worry. I didn't forget about tonight?"

"Tonight?" you feigned forgetfulness.

"Shut up, Y/N. Our date."

"Date?" you spluttered, "I didn't agree to a date!"

Joshua laughed, "Would you say no?"

"Well, you didn't ask!" you defended, your heart suddenly beating fast again.

Joshua placed his cutlery down, taking your hands and instructing you to look at him, "Okay, well, will you go on a date with me?"

You looked down, failing to mask your smile as you mumbled a small yes.

"What was that? Couldn't hear you?" Joshua teased.

You rolled your eyes and bumped your arm against his, "Yes, I will go on a date with you."

"That's what I thought. I'll pick you up at 8."

You were dressed in a pretty floral dress- nothing fancy or over the top- adorned with tights, boots and a light coat to combat the spring breeze. You had been slipping on your favourite gold jewellery when the doorbell rang through your small apartment.

"Is he here?" Yoona called from your phone propped up on your vanity.

"I think," you grinned nervously, "I gotta go."

"Have a good time, okay? Tell me all about it! I'm so excited for you," she blew you a kiss before dropping the call.

You made sure that your curling iron was off and switched off the light in your bedroom before racing to the front door. Hand on a handle, you took a deep breath to calm you down before opening it.

"There's my princess," Joshua grinned his dashing smile, clutching a bouquet of flowers.

"You remembered," a shy smile took over your face with his greeting.

You had gone on a million dates with the guy in front of you, but you would still get nervous each time. You had gone on a million dates with Joshua, and each time you opened the door, he would croon the same line and same endearment, usually alongside offering flowers.

"Chrysanthemums, gardenias and baby's breath," he chanted as he looked down at the bouquet of flowers before offering it to you.

One summer when you were young teenagers, you and Joshua learned the language of flowers and since then, he had always given you flowers with the right meanings.

"Do you still remember what they mean?" you asked curiously as you took it and slipped out of the apartment. You saw flowers as accessories - carrying them around with you made your outfit look so sweet and romantic.

"Chrysanthemums symbolise longevity, optimism, joy and fidelity. White gardenias are trust, hope, renewal, innocence and new beginnings. Baby's breaths for innocence and everlasting love," as casual as he spoke, Joshua slipped his fingers between yours as you walked to the elevator. It had made you jump slightly, but you quickly relaxed in his grasp. Holding hands was always one of his favourite forms of physical touch.

"Ever the romantic," you quipped, smiling at his gift, "Thank you, Jisoo. They're beautiful."

He held in any flirtatious rebuttals that threatened to spill past his lips and instead smiled softly at you, taking in your beauty that was only inches away from him instead of 6000 miles. You took the elevator to the basement garage, where Joshua had parked his car close to the elevator.

"No way," you stifled a laugh as he unlocked his car and the lights flashed, "Are you serious?"

Joshua pouted, opening the door for you as he stroked the side of the car, "What? She's my baby!"

"A Ferrari? Hong Jisoo, who are you?"

He got into the driver's side, rolling his eyes, "She's beautiful. You know I've always wanted a sports car and I could afford it."

"Fine, I guess it goes with your hot eligible bachelor at 25 image," you were still giggling as he pulled out of the garage.

"I am hot and 25, but I am certainly not eligible," his eyes were focused on the road, "I never have been."

"Are you telling me you haven't dated anyone in the past 7 years?"

"Nope, didn't have time," he admitted, "Well, not really since the others date, but I just didn't want to. What about you?"

"Yoona would set me up on a million dates and try to wing-woman me at downtown bars on Friday nights, but never a second date. She said all I ever did was compare them to you," you sighed.

"Me too. I was always looking for you in other people, and that was just not healthy. Eventually, I just stopped going on dates," Joshua said, "Were you lonely?"

"Jesus, Joshua. I thought we were going on a date, not having a therapy session!" you exclaimed at the sombre question, "But I guess so. I guessed I just never stopped missing you."

Joshua hummed in unspoken agreement and left you to hum along to the song on the radio while peering up at the city lights illuminating the streets. Eventually, he turned into a street and told you that you were there. He parked at a nearby garage and opened the door for you with an offering hand. You grasped his hand securely and he led the way to the fanciest BBQ restaurant you had ever seen. Usually, K-BBQ restaurants had a chilled vibe with colleagues gathering around long tables with bottles of beer and couples having relaxed dates by the windows. This one was dripping in opulence with people drinking wine out of long-stemmed glasses as they grilled high-quality meat.

"2 for Hong," Joshua said quietly to the maitre d'. Masks covered both of your faces, to his request, in case anyone recognised you on the streets.

"Right this way, Mr Hong," the maitre d' gave you a smile to acknowledge your presence as he led you along the side wall of the restaurant to another extension of the restaurant, which appeared as a long hallway with numerous sliding bamboo doors on each side. You were taken to a private room with a large table, but only two seats facing each other. The waiter set down a menu in front of each of you, before instructing you how to order the food to come to the room and promptly leaving.

"Idols must know the best private places to take their dates," you chuckled at the idea.

"I asked Cheol and Jeonghan. Those two are lucky since they can go on as many dinners in public as they want without it being too suspicious, but they said this was a good private place," Joshua's eyes scanned the menu, "And I remember you said when we were young that you want to do Korean barbecue in Korea because it was so stupid but so traditional."

"I did say that, huh?" you recalled fondly on the memory of you and Joshua exploring Korea on Google Maps and planning out a trip that you never ended up going on, because he moved there instead, "You have a very good memory, Hong Jisoo."

"And I remember everything else you said you wanted to do," Joshua smiled softly, "I promise I'll take you to Namsan Tower with a padlock with our names on it on the first snowfall of the season. You'll just have to stay with me until then."

Pink was the new favourite colour of your cheeks, "Don't make promises you can't keep, Joshua. It's only spring."

"I'm going to keep that one, Y/N. I promise," you've never heard sincerity like that. It made your heart leap bounds and miles, but as always, you were the more realistic one. For now, you kept your optimism and hoped alongside him that that would happen one day.

The two of you ordered the fanciest meats on the menu, to his insistence and a bottle of red wine that Joshua insisted tasted amazing. Apparently, he had been educated on wine due to spending a lot of time with his band member Minghao going to wine tastings in fancy vineyards.

The two of you engaged in light-hearted conversation, mainly reminiscing about your high school days together and the antics of your friendship group. You then told him the funny stories from your time at college in your home town and all the new friends you made, while he told you tales from the green practice room and all about his members who he grew to love as siblings. Joshua had been an only child and had always wanted siblings, but thanks to his path in life, he had gained 12. He told you how much of a handful they were at times, but also how caring and thoughtful they were and how they all showed him love in different ways.

"Did you have a good time?" At the end of the night, Joshua was stood on the other side of the threshold, loosely holding your hand and playing with your fingers.

"I had the best time, Shua," you said sincerely, holding the bouquet with your free arm, "We should do it again sometime."

Joshua smirked, "Asking me out on a second date already, Y/N? You must really like me."

"What can I say? My date was very charming," you flirted back, "Very handsome too. And he has a Ferrari."

A chuckle erupted from his throat as he leaned his body over closer to you, "He sounds like a bad boy with a Ferrari. Or do you prefer gentlemen?"

You don't know if it was all that wine talking, or his familiar scent invading your nasal cavity and intoxicating you, but you boldly stepped closer to him, feet on the threshold of your door and eyes flickering between his plush lips and his darkening eyes, "I don't care, as long as it's you."

Joshua seemed to quickly catch onto your signals, tongue darting out and coating the surface of his lips as he pulled his head even closer, squashing all the distance away. It seemed like he was tempting you to make the first move.

"Are you going to kiss me, Hong?"

Joshua smirked valiantly, snaking his arms around your waist, pulling you flush against his chest and connecting your lips for the first time in 7 years.

Jihoon knocked on your studio door, a knowing smile already on his face as you opened it, "Morning Y/N."

"Jihoon! Why are you here at 9 am sharp?"

Jihoon crossed his arms, "Because we have a 9 am dance practice."

"And?"

"And Joshua did not leave the dorm with Coups and Myungho. And they said they knocked on his door before they left and no one answered and no one was inside."

You held back a laugh, "What's that go to do with me?"

"Well, we all knew that Shua was going on his very first date in years last night," Jihoon continued, "So he either left the dorms incredibly early or didn't even come back home last night. I thought you'd know something about that."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," you huffed playfully, avoiding his gaze, "Maybe you should try texting him."

"Oh, Jihoon. What are you doing here?" with his perfect timing, Joshua appeared behind Jihoon, carrying two coffee cups and handing one to you, "Why aren't you in the practice room?"

"Because you're not and they sent me to hunt for you," Jihoon deadpanned, "Yesterday's clothes? Really, Shua?"

Joshua rolled his eyes, "I told Jeonghan to bring me spare clothes."

"Well Jeonghan hasn't arrived yet, and you didn't tell anyone else where you disappeared to!" Jihoon rebutted, "Now hurry up."

Joshua barged past his bandmate to reach your side. You handed him his coat that was folded on your couch and sent him a loving smile as you took a sip from your usual coffee, "I'll see you later, princess."

Jihoon made vomiting noises behind the two of you as Joshua planted a kiss on your cheek that left you flustered and giggling. He tugged the lovestruck boy by the sleeve, urging him to leave so they could start their practice.

"See you guys later. Always nice to see you, Jihoon!"

SEPTEMBER, 2021 - SEOUL

Yoona screeched as she spotted you at the end of the arrivals walkway. She immediately began jogging, abandoning her bags beside you as she pulled you into a tight hug.

"I missed you so much, you have no idea," she murmured into your neck.

"It's only been 4 months since I left, Yoona," you reminded her, "But I still missed you so much too."

"But spring ended and summer came and went! We have so much to catch up on," Yoona sighed, "But I have a surprise for you!"

"A surprise?"

Yoona beckoned over two women who were wearing masks and sunglasses, and performed jazz hands, "Am I not the best friend ever?"

The two ladies in disguise stripped off their costumes, only to reveal two of the most important mothers in your life, "Eomma? Mrs Hong? You're in Korea!"

Your mother squealed and wrapped you up in a tight hug before passing you over to Joshua's mother who called you out, "You can call me sieomeoni again, apparently. I heard from a little bird that you've reconciled with my son. How could you two keep that from us for so long! So many months of wedding planning lost."

Your mother chuckled, nudging you in the side, "As if we ever stopped planning their wedding over our lunch dates. Anyway, did you really think we were gonna miss our favourite adopted child's wedding?"

Yoona smiled innocently, twiddling with her bags, "It was a long flight, Y/N. They prodded it out of me!"

Your best friend of 11 years was about to get married. She had been planning two weddings of similar importance, until she came to the epiphany of having an initial large wedding in Korea instead, followed by a small gathering of close friends in Los Angeles, since most of her family and her fiancee's family were still in Korea and their immediate family were willing to travel. Yoona's fiancee had reached Korea earlier to deal with some logistical sides to the wedding.

"Of course, we weren't gonna miss our Yoona's wedding," Mrs Hong said as the four of you began to walk to the exit, "Plus, it gave me an excuse to come to Korea again and see my son after a year and a half."

"What about appa? And Mr Hong?" you queried.

Your mother rolled her eyes light-heartedly, "Oh please. They are having the time of their lives on the little fishing trip we sent them on. Found all the Korean uncles a little cabin by a lake and suggested they make a whole trip out of it. They're delighted."

You laughed, leaning into your mother's side affectionately and smiling at your best friend and Mrs Hong, "Does Joshua know you're coming, sieomeoni?"

"No," she revealed, "Does he have any plans tonight? I was thinking we go out to eat and we can surprise him there!"

"Well, we were going out for dinner with Yoona so this is perfect! We're going to a restaurant with a private room so even better for reunions. Maybe I'll pick you guys up and we get there first and then I'll make sure Shua comes after us?"

"He's going to be so happy, Y/N," his mother sighed.

Joshua had always been a mother's boy and you knew how much it hurt him to move away from his parents in the first place. That boy had begged and begged for them to move with him, but his parents had set their roots in Los Angeles already and couldn't imagine moving back until they retired. It even hurt him to keep your reunion a secret from his mom, who would have been so thrilled to know, but the two of you wanted to take things slow and it had been just over 3 months of bliss.

You loaded their suitcases into the back of your large car that you bought recently. Having a car was definitely an advantage in the city; it felt like you had more freedom. It was also better for your day-trip car rides with Joshua since his Ferrari got a bit cramped sometimes.

The drive to Seoul from Incheon was spent catching up on their travel day and complaining about the busy airports. Before you knew it, you were already dropping them off to their hotel and heading back to your studio in the Hybe building, where you found Joshua napping on your couch.

The sound of your door opening and closing woke him up and he flashed you a sweet, sleepy smile, "Hey, practice ended early so I waited here for you. How's Yoona?"

"She's great. Excited about her wedding in a week, of course. I was thinking we take separate cars to dinner though? Yoona wants me to get ready with her at her hotel for old time's sake," you feigned.

"Aw, that's sweet. Of course. We can just meet at the restaurant. If you get there first, the booking is under my name!"

You did end up getting ready with your best friend, catching her up with your new relationship while she told you everything else she got up to while you were away and new wedding details.

"I can't believe you're getting married already, Yoona," you sighed, watching from the bed as your best friend curled her hair.

"I know right? Sucks though because I lost a bet from high school to Jaeseok on who'd get married first. He was the only one that said me!"

"You were in on the bet too? Why am I the only one who didn't know about the bet?" you exclaimed.

"Everyone was in on it," she shrugged, "All of us bet on you and Joshua though, so we all lost. I don't know why Jaeseok picked me. He probably thought I'd elope with a stranger in Vegas."

"No, he picked you because on Powerpoint night at my house, you did yours on the plans for your future wedding, while I ranked the Barbie movies and Joshua told us the history of Super Junior," you deadpanned, "Anyways, it's too early to be thinking about marriage for me."

Yoona scoffed, "If Joshua got down on one knee tonight, you'd say yes. If Joshua randomly dropped by your college dorm all those years you were broken up and turned up with a ring, you would have said yes. You've been in love with him since you were a kid, so just pretend those 7 years didn't happen!"

"I wouldn't say yes!" you defended even though it was a complete lie, "Plus, he's an idol. Marriage is not in his cards, right now."

"You never know, Y/N," she hummed, "Chen from Exo announced out of the blue last year that he was getting married, with a child on the way. Joshua is smitten with you, absolutely besotted. You two have been picturing you growing old together since before you even actually grew up!"

You rolled your eyes, heart fluttering at the thought of the house on the coast that the two of you always envisioned, "Let's get you married first before we start talking about me. Come on, we're going to be late for dinner."

With the mothers in the back of the car and your best friend in the passenger seat, you found yourself at the front of the restaurant quickly. You had already called ahead under his name to change to a larger room with 5 seats and convinced them to not double-check with Joshua, since he was the one to make the reservation, so you were confident the plan would go well.

Indeed, you arrived before him and had already ordered food for the table when Joshua eventually showed up. He had texted you that he pulled up to parking, so you waited outside the room for him.

"You look very dashing," you lifted yourself up to press a kiss to his jaw, "Yoona has a surprise for you?"

Before he could say anything, you opened the door and let his eyes scan the room before he came to the realisation. He made a choking noise as he ran over to his mother, engulfing her in a tight hug, "Eomma! What are you doing here?"

"I thought it'd be nice to attend Yoona's wedding here in Korea and see you again, of course," his mother murmured against his shoulder. Joshua was sniffling, and that made your heart so happy.

He quickly hugged your best friend, thanking her for the idea, before turning to your mother, "Jangmonim! It's been so long!"

"You grew up so well, Jisoo," your mother grinned, "What a handsome boy you are now. You've always been. Thank you for keeping my daughter company in this big new city."

Joshua looked over at you, fondness in his eyes, "It was always my pleasure."

After the dinner and the day after you spent alone with your best friend, you didn't see Yoona often. She was busy finalising all the details of the ceremony and conducting all the many pre-wedding traditions with her family and the groom's family. Instead, you spent them with your mother and Joshua's mother when you would get off work. While you were at work, the two best friends would explore Seoul in their most touristy get-ups.

More often than not, Joshua would join the three of you in the evening after getting emergency special permission from his company to have evenings off. He hadn't known his mother was coming, but he wanted to spend as much time with all of you.

You spent the evenings restaurant-hopping around Seoul and talking about your new job. You had fully settled in now and you had started writing and producing songs for the artists, instead of just helping to edit and finalise already-written tracks. You hadn't worked with Seventeen yet, since they already had such great producers in Universe Factory and there was a little conflict of interest, but Joshua was desperate to work with you again. 'For old time's sake' he would say with a pleading smile.

It eventually reached the day of your best friend's wedding and you had helped to get her ready in the morning. Although you were taking Joshua as your date, you wanted to be at the side of your best friend before you sent her off to her new life. She was nervous, obviously, but so excited to be married to the love of her life. You found yourself thinking how it'd be nice to do that too.

Her pristine hanbok glimmered in the pictures that you took with her in her private reception room to greet the guests. You had been the first to pay her a visit, leaving with an encouraging smile before you entered the ceremony hall where the groom was greeting other guests.

Joshua was by your side, holding your hand and smiling gently as he watched your mothers take a seat in the second row on the bride's side, "It's beautiful."

Joshua took a seat beside his mother as you took the aisle seat. Joshua's mother leaned over him, "Y/N, dear, you want to have a Korean wedding too, right?"

Joshua groaned quietly, nudging his mother to stop, but you just laughed, "Yes, sieomeoni. A big wedding in Korea and a big wedding in Los Angeles."

Joshua flashed you a bashful smile and squeezed your hand, a somewhat of a silent promise.

The ceremony eventually started and you would be lying if you said you didn't cry when Yoona and her husband drank their separate wines before it was mixed and they drank their unified wine again. The way they bowed to their parents was beautiful and the union of their family was so happy.

After the short ceremony, you had rushed to her side, hugging her affectionately and wailing at how beautiful their vows and ceremony were.

"Now that I'm married, we can talk about yours right?"

OCTOBER, 2021 - SEOUL

Joshua was lying on his stomach on your bed, opening up your laptop to search for a movie to watch together. You had just walked in, hair still wet and in the process of being dried, adorned in his shirt and sleep shorts.

"What's this folder, Y/N?" Joshua called over.

"Don't snoop, nosy," you scolded playfully before leaning over his shoulder to see what he was about to click, "No! Don't open that!'

It was apparently too late since he had double-clicked on the folder already, that opened up to a list of 10 audio files.

"Are these songs? Can I listen? You never let me listen to your songs anymore," Joshua said excitedly, ending with a pout.

"You can listen to my stuff. Just not these ones," you sighed.

"Why?" his eyes glinted mischievously before he realised, "Oh, are they all about me? Why is the folder called 'for you'? Is 'you' me?"

"I call this folder 'Songs about Joshua Hong, my first heartbreak'."

Joshua beckoned you over, wrapping his strong arms around you, "I'm sorry for breaking your heart. I have no intention to ever do that again."

"I'd let you listen to these songs, but it might involve a lot of tears," you warn him, "Actually, I just finished a song that would be the perfect conclusion to this album - a happy ending, if you will."

"Oh yeah? What's that one called? But we can start slow. What's your favourite song from all these?"

"The new song's called 'Every summertime'," you pressed a kiss to his lips, "You'd love it. I'll let you hear that one, but my favourite one is probably the saddest; I tried to write it as a closure song, so it's about you leaving and me letting you go, but it's very sad."

"We can start with that one," Joshua stroked your cheek softly, "But it won't be sad, since we know the ending."

You exhale nervously, taking over the mouse pad to click the last song, curling up closer to your lover who played with your damp hair. That always calmed you down.

"Saturday sunset, we're lyin' on my bed, with five hours to go. Fingers entwined and so were our minds cryin', "I don't want you to go". You wiped away tears but not fears under the still and clear indigo. You said, "Baby, don't cry, we'll be fine. You're the one thing I swear I can't outgrow""

Joshua's breath hitched at the memory of all the words he had said to you over the years. That day in his bedroom as you counted down the hours until he had to leave was one of the worst times in his life. Sure, you continued your relationship for nearly a year after, but it was never the same after he left.

By the end of it, silent tears were pouring out of his eyes and yours alike as he pulled you up to sit up and meet his level, "One, you're incredibly talented. I love being able to see what comes of that smart brain of yours. Two, I'm sorry for all the hurt I caused you over the years," he planted a kiss on your lips with every statement, "Three, I never want to hear you say you're letting go of me. I'm here forever this time around, okay?"

You caught his lips on the final peck and hooked your arms around his neck, "Okay," you murmured against his lips, "You better be, because I don't plan on letting you go again either, Hong Jisoo."

He pulled away for a split second, "I love you, Y/N. I always will."

"I know," you smile softly, eyes lost in his and unfocused on the way the Seoul sunset lit up your room in orange and pink, "And I love you, Jisoo."

NOVEMBER 10, 2021 - SEOUL

Joshua's gloved hand squeezed yours in his pocket as he led you up the stairs. The two of you were bundled up in scarves, hats and gloves while sharing your earphones and listening to IU's sweet voice serenade you.

The view at the top of the tower was spectacular, showing you the landscape of the entire city before your eyes. You had lived in the city for over 5 months, yet you were still to visit one of the city's most famous attractions, only due to your persistent boyfriend.

"So, when's the snow going to fall?" you said teasingly to your boyfriend, "You're such a romantic."

"Shh, Y/N- that's part of the surprise!" he dismissed.

"It would have been a surprise if you didn't keep stopping me coming here, saying you'd only take me on the day of the first snow," you reminded him.

"This was your bucket list goal, so don't blame me for ruining the surprise," Joshua huffed playfully, "We're going to wait for the snow up here, and then when we get down, we can lock our padlock somewhere."

He took out the padlock from his other pocket, showing you the side with your initials etched and marked on. Your heart swooned, "Thank you, Shua."

Joshua's eyes softened as he pulled you closer. It was incredibly cold on the ground of the mountain, and it was even colder 239m up. He wrapped his arms around you and peppered kisses on the crown of your head.

You were both thinking the same thing- how lucky the two of you were to be given a second chance and for it to work out. Joshua Hong had always been your perfect person, perfect time; you just happened to be blessed twice with the opportunity of having the giddy, honeymoon start of the relationship.

"The snow's falling," Joshua whispered, pulling you away so you could look into his eyes, "Make a wish, princess."

You watched as a few flakes settled on the tips of his nose before melting away before you closed your eyes. It was easy; you had been making the same wish since you were 13..

"I love you, Y/N," he scrunched up his nose, pecking your lips, "Remember when I said you get everything you want if you're brave and take chances?"

"Mhm?"

"I don't have a ring, but marry me, Y/N."

You peered up at him in shock, only to find his eyes full of certainty and love, "Really? Is that an actual proposal?"

"Depends if you say yes," he teased.

You chuckled, and the smile that followed after would soon be embedded in your brain and etched in your heart, "Of course, I'll marry you."

[FOR YOU; SONGS ABOUT JOSHUA HONG, MY FIRST HEARTBREAK]

1. Take A Chance With Me - written at 14, at the start of freshman year; confessing your feelings for your childhood and middle school best friend. Joshua played it accidentally when snooping on your producing software while you were setting the table downstairs for dinner.

"His kiss you'd kill for, just one and you're done for. Electricity surging in the air ; he drives me crazy. It's so beyond me how he'd look me dead in the eye. Stay unaware that I'm hopelessly captivated by a boy who thinks love's overrated."

2. Move! - written at 17, trying out something new with your sound, and of course it was going to be about your loving boyfriend at the time

"There's something in the water that makes me love you harder."

3. Around - written at 18, before Joshua moved away; a love song to your boyfriend who you never wanted to lose.

"Darling, we don't ever have to pretend, who knows what or who we choose. Right now I've nothing to lose; you love me, I love you."

4. Before - written at 18, while Joshua was away in Seoul and you were in your hometown, having to pretend everything was okay. You visited him once in Seoul for three days, never meeting his trainee-friends. He didn't have a new lover, just a new career. You hated having to pretend everything was okay.

"You were all I'd ever known. And now I'm supposed to love you from a distance, like it's nothing, like it's instant and you say, "Let's just see where this goes" and I don't know how or why you seem just fine cause I'm having to grasp that you're somehow not mine anymore. It's so cruel how things are only almost like they were before."

5. Lullaby - written at 19, the first song you wrote after you broke up, a song professing how much you missed him and how much you hated that you did.

"My heart was high off you. Am I deranged to miss you? After the way you left my heart blue and bruised - lingering scents of roses and smoke and love and hope and two adventurous souls."

6. Polaroid Boy - written at 19, fresh off your breakup with Joshua, angry that the relationship ended and hurt that he was everywhere around your room in the form of tiny polaroids.

"You'll forever be the boy in my polaroids. You'll forever be the reason why I am void. You'll forever be my first love. And the reason why nobody else ever seems enough."

7. Vintage - written at 20, a year after breaking up with Joshua after a dream you reconciled when he came back to Los Angeles. Made a great song, but just left you heartbroken when you realised he wasn't coming back.

"Speak of the devil, my, oh my, walkin' with that devilish smile. That's one thing I haven't seen in a while. How have you been since I called you mine? You look so good in this light, got me reminiscin' 'bout our good times."

8. Odds - written at 20, a song being angry about how you weren't in the universe's favour. Joshua had no exes other than you, but you had to get creative.

"And yet my world remains the whole of you to this day. Doesn't matter what my location says. I'm always tryna get to you..."

9. Anaheim - written at 18, finished at 22, a song about wanting to go back in time with someone you had a great relationship with. Finished in your favourite café in Anaheim, after a drive that you spent reminiscing about your relationship. Started during your year-long long-distance relationship when he tried to make it work, and you saw that it wasn't working.

"I could spend my days studying your laugh's melody. And I can live with myself 'cause I know the composer's me. Babe, all I ask of you is please don't sleep on the bed of promises I can't keep."

10. Oceans and Engines - written at 24, the last song you wrote and finished about Joshua. The rawest and most honest song that had ever come from your heart. Heard by no one. Your closure song, except it never gave you any closure.

[NEW ENTRY!]

11. Every Summertime - written at 25, on the beach as Joshua napped on the sun bed next to yours by the sea. A perfect happy ending to your story.

"Every year we get older, but I'm still on your side. Oh, I- Baby, I'd give up anything to travel inside your mind. Baby, I fall in love again come every summertime."

#this was so self indulgent #so fluffy #joshua #seventeen #joshua hong #hong jisoo #svt fic recs #svt #fic recs #seventeen au #fluff #seventeen fluff #svt au #joshua fic #fic #joshua au #joshua fluff

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doiefics · 10 months

Text

bringing him home

pairing: joshua x gn!reader

prologue: fear takes over you as you bring joshua to meet your parents, but he say’s you’re taking gratuitous stress

genre: fluff + established relationship!au

wordcount: 689

warnings: none

Today was going to be a big day.

You’ve had this in your vision for a long time now and it couldn’t be refrained from, and even though were excited about it, it was accompanied by an unrecognizable worry.

Human emotions can never be easily caught and understood, you see.

You were sat in the car, paying zero attention to the otherwise lively streets of the city.

It was your city, the place where you were born, raised, and probably conceived, too.

You had missed it all. The the swings in the children's playground, the aroma of the morning bakery on the other block, the back alley of the school that you vandalised, everything.

After a gruelling few years outside, you were back and that was all that mattered in the moment.

“Are you too emotional to talk right now?” Questioned the man seated next to you. Joshua, your boyfriend.

“Shua, Yeah, It’s just, you know.” You failed to put your thoughts into words.

“Is it because you’re too emotional that we’re here or are you afraid that I might screw it all up in front of your parents?” He let out an adorable little giggle.

Four years of being together and this man knew you better than yourself.

His coral black eyes teamed up with comforting and deep aura questioned once again.

Yes. You were afraid, not because Joshua would mess it up but only because it was only natural to feel that way.

He was the first man you were bringing home, he had had innumerous zoom calls and texts with your parents whilst the two of you still being in away, they knew him and approved of him.

Then, what was so special about this day perhaps someone who had to go through it could only understand.

It did not take too long to reach. They say there is no place on earth like home, the vibe welcomed you as you took steps further.

“Trust me, everything will go well. We just have to be ourselves right? They’re parents.” Joshua affirmed.

“I know they'll love you.” You added to his affirmation.

“Of course. More than they love you.” He teased, and his lips turned into a smirk. On normal days, you would hit him playfully.

You shook your head, returning back to the time and place as you now rang the doorbell. Taking few quick breaths to ease your tensed body.

You were greeted by your parents, and you instantly leaped up and went on to engulf them in a hug. Losing track of time you were sure you did not let go of them before a good few minutes.

“Alright, alright! My turn?” Joshua commented so as to ease the emotional environment. He made you laugh, even when you had tears rolling down.

The family now sat in the living room. Your boyfriend was completely engrossed in the chit chats with your family, as they went through your childhood photo albums.

Everybody seemed to accept him at an instant. It felt like it was him who was this family’s child.

“Noooo Y/N, you were so cute as a baby! Look at you in this pumpkin outfit. When is this from?” He kept on commenting while you just sat there, adoring him.

Honestly he was the type that anyone could take home and get approved of. You were lucky to find a man like Joshua, he tolerated your unbearable shower concerts. You thought to yourself.

The gathering soon ended after dinner, and there was more talking and sharing of old family anecdotes. You were the main theme today, though. It felt gratifying.

As the night grew deeper, you found yourself alone with the man, seated on near the same window pane you thought you'd get a highscool proposal from someday.

“Hmm, told you everything would turn out well. You were stressing over nothing” Joshua soothed.

"How could anyone not like you, Shua?” You defended yourself, teasing him.

“Ahhh, really?” He questioned sarcastically. A little roar of laughter now filled the air as he tickled you by the waist.

Well, he was right, everything would go well.

masterlist please refrain from plagiarising, translating or posting outside of this platform

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asterrrific · 7 months

Text

How to use: Tap if you miss me.

Joshua x Reader

-fluffy fluff

-long distance relationship

-college romance

-some profanities here and there

-one shot au

---

"I promise, I'll be back before you know it." Joshua promised while swinging his hands with y/n. In a few hours, he'll be flying to the other side of the world, as he was chosen to participate in the uni's exchange student program.

"Consider coming home for winter break?" Y/N attempts. She has never been this far from Joshua ever since they started dating during sophomore year. They're now in their senior year.

"I will my love. I swear it."

Joshua looked like he had something else to say but got cut off when the announcer blared through the sound system of the airport, informing y/n that her time with her boyfriend must now come to... a pause, rather than an end.

Joshua got his attention back to y/n, who now got her head bowed. He wanted to leave with her. If only she wasn't the student council president of their uni, she could have been among the chosen students for this program. Sadly, she can't leave her position.

Y/n slowly let go of Joshua's hand and looked away as she forced herself to smile a bit.

"You should probably go inside... you wouldn't wanna miss the-"

Y/n blinked like a deer caught in headlights when Joshua cut her off by suddenly pulling her towards him and kissing her smack on the lips.

Y/n found more reasons to miss him even more.

The kiss was someting between longing and peace. It wasn't rushed, but to y/n, it felt like Joshua felt the same. That he didn't want to go at all.

Eventually, y/n relaxed in Joshua's hold, as he continued to claim her lips, this time, more slowly. However, as they shared that moment, Joshua grabbed y/n's wrist and slipped something on it.

Y/n then broke the kiss first and immediately examined her wrist.

"Josh... what-?"

"It's those trendy things online. It's called the LDR bracelet." He showed his wrist, wearing his usual colorful beaded bracelets, but among them was a pure black one with a small sun shaped charm on it.

He tapped the charm, and y/n felt her bracelet vibrate with a glow.

"Tap it if you miss me." He simply said.

Y/n then did the same, hesitantly tapping the moon shaped charm on hers. She saw Joshua's charm glow.

"This works even if we're a thousand miles away from each other?" She asks as she toys with the bracelet, examining the white beads on hers.

"I hope it does. Should we try it once I'm inside? That's a little farther than now, right?" He says, yet again pulling y/n closer to him until their bodies are pressed flush against each other.

Y/n clings on the hem of Joshua's shirt as she looked down again. Joshua found it endearing, and yet still, a little harder for him to leave again.

Gently, he lifted her chin so she'd look at him. As he suspected, her eyes are glossy with tears, threatening to fall.

"Aw, my darling..." he cooed as he cupped her face with his hands and planted a lingering kiss on her forehead, finally pulling y/n's trigger to cry on to his chest.

Joshua hugged her tight as she silently sobbed. He swayed them both slightly as he caressed her hair and planted lots of soft, little kisses on her head, trying to soothe her.

A few moments later, y/n leaned away and started to aggressively wipe her tears. Joshua chuckled and held her in place, then gently wiped her tears with the pad of his thumb.

"You'll be alright. I promise you." He whispered as y/n tried her best to keep eye contact.

"A-and will y-you be?" she asked in between hiccups.

Joshua tucked a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. "For you my love, I will be."

"O-okay..." y/n shakily said, tears threatening to fall again as she attempted to give Joshua a smile of assurance.

"Okay..." Joshua replied as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

Y/n then finally let go, and Joshua started gathering his stuff as he moved towards the gates.

"Welp. See you later, y/n." Joshua smiled. Deep in his heart, he wanted to cling on to her smaller frame and cry as well.

"See you later, Joshie." Y/N smiled, fully this time, despite her tear stained face.

Joshua then started to walk towards the gate as y/n watched. She kept track of his retreating back for a bit and decided to walk out of the airport as well.

She wasn't even out the gate when suddenly, her charm bracelet started vibrating like crazy.

She laughed despite her sadness, and found herself looking back towards where Joshua went...

Only to find him running towards her.

Y/N broke into a happy sob as she opened her arms to receive Joshua, tears falling from his eyes as well. He crashed into her, hugging her tight, then picked her from the ground and spun her around.

He breathlessly, gently, put her back down, foreheads pressed against each other, faces shining with tears that reflected the blazing rays of the setting sun, breaths merging with each other.

Then he kissed her ever so gently.

"I couldn't leave just like that." Joshua whispered after breaking off. His lips still lingered on top of hers.

"Did you forget something love?" Y/n asked worriedly.

"I didn't. I just wanted to do this." He cheekily grinned, earning him a slap on the arm.

"I love you, y/n." he then said as he pecked at her lips again.

"You've said that like a hundred times today now." She teased as she placed her hand on his cheeks, making him lean in to her touch.

"I know. I love you. I'll say it again just to make it clear. I love you." And he kept saying he did as he peppered her face with little butterfly kisses, making her giggle amidst her tears.

"Joshua Hong, I love you so much, but please, your plane would leave without you if you won't let go of me right this second." she laughed as Joshua reached her jaws, still kissing her.

He planted one last kiss on her nose which she found endearing, and then he finally pulled away.

"I love you-"

They laughed as they suddenly said the words together. And this time, it was y/n who sighed.

She pulled Joshua by the shirt and stood on her tiptoes as she kissed him.

"Go now and come home to me safely during the holidays." she whispered, as she swiped at the bangs that fell on his eyes.

"Alright... alright, alright." he sighed in defeat as he grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"I love you y/n. I'll be home before you know it."

"I love you Joshua. See you later." she said as he finally walked away with silly skips to his step.

This time, she watched as he went back in until she couldn't see him anymore. When she was sure he was safely inside, she started to leave as well.

She was already in her car when her bracelet and phone vibrated together. She smiled to herself when she saw the message on the screen.

"That tap meant 'I love you' this time." it said.

She sighed contentedly as she tapped three times on her bracelet. Then she typed in a reply.

"Those taps were three kisses. I love you too, Joshie."

---------------------------------------------------------

Ayt, it's been a while (again. sigh) since my last dump here🥹 I hope y'all are doing good!

the idea for this au came to me as i was scrolling online for some accessories I could buy to use on our acquaintance party. I saw the couple bracelets for LDR relationships and then I thought of the plot for this😅

I hope you loved this as much as I loved writing it~

And as always, please like and reblog so others would also find my works^^

Thank you~ and I missed being here😭🙌🏻

Lablab and cheese✨🌷

#svt imagines #svt scenarios #seventeen #svt au #svt x reader #svt fanfic #svt fluff #svt oneshot #joshua hong #svt joshua #joshua au #joshua fluff #joshua fanfic #joshua imagines

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bluejeanstrash · 5 days

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a reminder that the pairing for pt. 4 will be joshua x jeonghan x reader. i know it’s been ages since the last part because i took a break etc., so just want to know if anyone would still want to read it.

#svt vampires #svt au #jeonghan smut #joshua smut #jeonghan au #joshua au

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multifics99 · 9 months

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A King's Choice Pt.3

➳ King!Seokmin x fem!reader x RoyalAdvisor!Joshua

➳ tags: angst, fluff, royalty!au, love triangle, childhood friends to lovers

➳ pt 3 wc: 5.1K

It had now been a week since you had been back in the palace, you simply put the first night in the back of your mind and threw yourself into working. It was an awkward exchange with Seokmin, nothing either of you were prepared for. You hadn’t seen him since then, you only heard from him through his advisor, Joshua. You could feel your head starting to hurt just thinking about Joshua, he was so arrogant, you could never imagine why the royal family was so loyal to him. The past week you had gotten in a few spats with him, he liked telling you how to do your job, and you didn’t like being told what to do by him.

It was a particularly early morning, as you and Mingyu prepared things for the day when Joshua had found himself in the kitchen. Mingyu dropped everything and bowed to him, you pushed him back up by the shoulder. “He isn’t royalty, he’s simply their pet” You turned to Joshua, “what could be wanting right now at the crack of dawn?”

“Well as his pet I am fulfilling an order by the king.” You felt your face get hot at the direct mention of Seokmin.

“Oh” you replied. Joshua smirked, you hated his smug face.

“You and the apprentice here are being summoned to prepare and serve afternoon tea today.”

“We aren’t maids”

Joshua’s eyes darkened as he stepped closer to you. Mingyu hunched his shoulders, feeling the air become thick with tension. You could smell Joshua’s musk, a particularly expensive perfume, as he leaned down to become eye level with you. He was intimidating and you could feel yourself shrinking under his gaze. “You will be whatever the king asks you to be, you will be whatever I ask you to be” He took a moment to look you up and down, like a lion sizing up his prey “is that understood, Miss y/n?”

You felt your sense of strength break completely, you knew he was right, and he could see he had won today’s battle.

“2 pm” that was the last thing he said before taking his leave, he didn’t even look back as he closed the kitchen doors. Mingyu let out a breath, had he been holding it? “I think he scares me more than the king and I haven’t even seen the king since we came,” he said, his eyes then widening, “oh my gosh i’m going to see the king.” You just huffed as you got back to your work, and Mingyu followed suit without another word.

You went about the rest of your morning as your father and more staff came in for work. You and Mingyu did as you were told and prepared the food and platters for tea. Soon enough the time came and you had to start making your way to serve it, you took a few deep breaths to prepare, you knew you would be serving the same people who had taunted you in your childhood.

You stood in front of the doors to the drawing room now, behind would be multiple members of the court, and Seokmin. You knew you had to go inside but you could not bring yourself to ring the bell, the kitchen was your safe place, your old cabin was your safe place. This room held too much of your past that you would rather forget.

Mingyu could see your discomfort and reached behind you to ring the bell himself. As the door opened you took in a deep breath, of course though it was Joshua who had opened it. Where in this place would you not see him? You forced yourself to push the tea cart in though, Mingyu following behind you with a large platter in hand. Sitting at a small table in the middle of the room was Seokmin, and one of the men of the court who was accompanied by his wife. You recognized them both, the man was Jeonghan, he had been appointed one of Seokmin’s advisors, and his wife was just a girl whose family had connections and was around the palace often in her life. It seems her father struck a deal with Jeonghan’s.

You rolled the tea cart to them, and Joshua took his place at the empty seat next to Seokmin. You and Mingyu set down the teapot and all of its fixings. The small sandwiches and scones. You always wondered what they conversed about at this time. Politics? Music? Art? Was their conversation as nuanced as you imagined or was it simply gossip about the other people in their circles. Either way you always wanted to know. As you set down the last of the plates Jeonghan stared. “Y/n?” he said. Dammit you thought, you were hoping you would be ignored. “I thought that was you, y’know I nearly didn't recognize you,” good grief please don’t say anything more, “you’re a pretty thing now aren’t you” He would not take his eyes off you as he began to sip his tea. His attention caused everyone’s attention. His wife shot daggers at you with her eyes, Joshua shot daggers at Jeonghan with his, and Seokmin looked at you apologetically. Mingyu just kept his head down as he placed empty trays on the cart, he was probably afraid you would explode and get them fired on the spot. You knew though that it was safe to just opt for silence, you could not let your temper get the best of you here, unless you wanted trouble.

“Sir Jeonghan,” Joshua said, glancing between you and him, “you just got back from your honeymoon did you not?” Jeonghan shifted uncomfortably in his seat as his wife replied, “we did, it was lovely, he took me to his estate in the countryside.” Her face stayed blank though, probably still fuming over her husband’s comment. Joshua shot his signature smirk over to Jeonghan though as he raised his cup, “a small toast to the newlyweds then.” They all raised their cups and drank, Seokmin remained docile, not at all the demeanor one would assume from a king.

He only spoke to finally dismiss you and Mingyu, and as you two left you could only remember why you had become angry with Seokmin, he was a coward in front of his court. He only showed loyalty towards you in private that had always been the case, even now when he could say and do whatever he wanted, he still chose the easy way. Joshua being unafraid to say something in front of the king said all that you needed to know.

…

It was later in the early evening now, your day was done. Your father never allowed you to work past afternoon tea, he wanted you to have your free time. He would always say someone your age should be out mingling, you never did though. You spent your early evenings out in nature, the air was refreshing and the sounds of the birds and the creek relaxed you. So now that is what you did, you wandered back to the woods of your childhood home for a stroll. As you walked you passed the cabin, it was still intact, even though it was being used for extra barn storage. How many supplies did they need for those horses? You were still upset that you had been pushed out of that home but maybe it was best left as a memory, maybe living there would have been too painful.

You chuckled to yourself thinking again about what Joshua had said about you and Mingyu sharing living quarters. Inappropriate. Mingyu has entertained some maidens, but he’d begun to focus all his attention on the flower girl, and you’d never seen him that way. You wouldn’t even know what to do if a man approached you, you’d held hands with Seokmin as a child, and gave Joshua a peck in your early adolescence. That was the extent of your love affairs, you had never had anyone propose a courtship. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to get married, your father never pushed the idea on you, he didn't need money or status, and you had only ever met one person you thought you could love, and he was entirely unattainable.

As you meandered about on the walking trail in the woods, your head in the clouds you heard a clopping behind you. You turned to see none other than Seokmin on his horse taking a leisurely stroll himself. You prayed he wouldn’t try to speak to you, you had no interest after tea this afternoon. Unfortunately though as his horse approached he came to a halt by your side, there was no way to escape, it wasn’t like you could outrun a horse.

“What’s a lady doing all on her own in the woods?” he joked, you were in no mood for jokes.

“What’s a king doing all on his own without his posse?” Seokmin came down from his horse so that he was standing beside you. This is the closest he had stood next to you in years, that night in the kitchen it was dark and you were both standing some distance away, now he was right by your side. He was so tall now, the top of your head would probably only just reach his chin, he was broader too, you could only imagine how strong his shoulders would feel. You snapped yourself back into reality, you couldn't allow his looks to distract you.

“I apologize for Jeonghan this afternoon, I will have a word with him about the way we treat people in my palace.” You scoffed,

“Why bother? Joshua seemed to take care of him just fine for you.”

“Joshua has is own way of doing things”

“Joshua seems very unafraid of his king”

“His King” Seokmin said, choking on his words “does not want his people to fear him, I refuse to be my father.”

“I was under the impression your father was fair”

“He was but he also had a darkness to him, a side of himself that I don’t want to continue to live on through me” Seokmin held his gaze to the ground as he continued to walk with his horse on the path, you simply followed.

“He was tough then?” you asked, you knew the late king was strict but Seokmin never told you much beyond that.

“Uhm, yes you could say that.” he was smiling at you but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, he always tried to hide his sadness, he didn’t like his emotions to be a burden on others. You dropped your facade of anger completely, Seokmin was a strong person, but when it came to taking care of people he was filled with emotion. You still held grudges but right now it seemed he needed his old friend. You were willing to give him that. “I haven’t heard much about your mother since he passed,” You said, “How has she been?”

Still looking at his feet Seokmin replied, “She has certainly been better, and I can’t say I made it easy on her, when I decided to leave, it put a strain on our relationship, I mean I left a whole kingdom for her to deal with alone,” his words were starting to falter as his eyes welled with tears, “I am lucky I had Joshua then, he stayed by her side during those months and helped make decisions, I still feel like a coward though.” and that was it, the tears fell. His mask of happiness and ease that he always wore had fallen off. He turned away from you as if you couldn’t already see that he was crying. You lightly touched his shoulder and he turned back around, his ears red with embarrassment. “I apologize, this is very uncouth of me.”

You didn’t say anything though, you simply hugged him. He seemed to melt into your touch, his head leaned over to find a comfortable place on your shoulder. You stroked his hair as you allowed him to sob into you. You two stayed that way for a moment, the rest of the world seemed to fade away, this was something just for the two of you. Finally he quieted down and his breathing returned to normal. He pulled away from you and sniffled, “Thank you” he said.

“You know I didn’t want to talk to you when I arrived” you admitted “I am still holding onto grudges from the past.”

“I know” he replied “among all of the mistakes I've made so far, hurting you was one of my biggest, and I regret it everyday.” You just nodded as you kept walking the path with him, “I can’t say I was entirely fair to you back then either” you admitted “I think I was angry because I felt that in my time of need I didn’t have my best friend by my side.”

And your first love

But you couldn’t say that.

So you just walked and continued to talk to the King and remember the fun you two had when you were younger. You talked about when you were children. You teased him for embarrassing things he’d done, and he laughed along. You watched him as he did, he was undeniably beautiful. His skin glowed under the golden light of the sunset, the warm undertones of his dark hair shone through. What made him shine most of all though was his smile, it never failed to make you feel warm. He always lit up a room with that smile.

Neither of you realized how long you had been out until it was noticeably darker outside and the air had a slight chill. “Dammit” you muttered as you saw the sun was beginning to set, “I’m going to miss supper, my father is going to be worried” Seokmin gave his horse a pat, “I could take you back, it’s about time I get this old boy back to his stable anyways.” You nervously looked up at the horse, you’d never ridden one before and the creatures always made you nervous. You’d heard of people falling off and losing memories, or worse, getting stepped on. Seokmin could sense your hesitation, “It's okay” he said with a large grin, he then gently held your hand in his, your breath hitched at the gesture. He slowly lifted your hand towards the horse, “May I?” he asked, you were nervous but you wanted to trust him so you nodded your head yes. He put your hand on the horse’s neck and together you pet the large beast.

“Hmm” you said

“What is it?”

“Horses are much softer than I thought they would be.” Seokmin simply chuckled, the sound of his laugh, there was that smile again, making your heart feel so warm. “He’s very gentle I promise, may we escort you back now?” You nodded yes again, Seokmin mounted himself on his horse and then held out his hand to yours. As you grabbed his hand he instructed you on where to put your foot, once you seemed secure he began to pull you up. He managed to pull you all the way up, but before you could begin to mount yourself, your hand slipped out of his and you stumbled back a bit. With his free hand Seokmin grabbed you by the waist and then hugged you to him. Your face was inches from his now, you could feel his breath on your cheek. Your heart pounded, you told yourself it was just the shock of almost falling. Seokmin simply stared at you until suddenly his eyes grew wide and a pink tinge colored his cheeks. He helped you mount the rest of the way until you were comfortably sitting behind him.

“You uhm” he finally said “you have to…p-put your arms around me…so you don't fall off.” You did as he said and you felt him become tense as you wrapped your arms around his waist.

As you two rode Seokmin seemed to relax a bit and eventually it was a leisurely ride back to the palace. For the first time in a few years you felt calm, you would have never expected that you would feel that way around Seokmin again. You decided to put that to the back of your mind and allowed yourself to simply be. After some time you two finally made it back before dark, you suspected supper was just about to start so hopefully you would find your father before he began to worry.

“Thank you for the ride” You said to Seokmin after he put the horse back in the stables. “Of course, you are the last person I would allow to wander about the woods in the dark” You cocked a brow at him, “Oh really? Because I recall you daring me to spend five minutes alone in the woods at night when we were children.” Seokmin dramatically placed his hand over his heart as he sighed, “And I worried about you the whole time.”

The two of you chuckled and reminisced more about how you had played together as children. In the corner of your eye though you noticed two stable hands pass by as they whispered together, and that was when you remembered what Joshua had told you about Seokmin inviting multiple women to his bed. You realized then that if you were seen with him like this, people would gossip. Feeling self conscious you took a step back, “I should go to my father now and have supper.” you mumbled, as you began to walk away he followed after you. “May I escort you in?” He suggested. “No” you said as you kept walking, you know he tried to follow you but you did not turn around, you left him without another word and eventually he just stayed behind. You felt foolish for thinking things could be as they were before, that you could ever have a calm moment alone with him. Of course you couldn’t, if you tried people would call you all sorts of things, and not only would that reflect on you but your father.

You stayed deep in your thoughts as you walked through the corridors that you didn’t even notice anyone was walking towards you until you had bumped into something. You looked up to see Joshua in front of you, you had run right into his chest. How is it even possible for his body to be that hard? You just shook your head, not having any energy to argue with him today you gave a silent apology and tried to continue along until you heard him call your name.

“Y/N”

His voice sent a chill down your spine. You slowly turned around, “What?” You were in no mood to be polite. “Well you look glum for a girl who was just getting private riding lessons from the King,” he snarkily replied. “Who on earth told you that?” you had not even gotten off that horse ten minutes ago and already there was a rumor. “Oh please y/n, I know everything.” you just rolled your eyes, “Well i'm afraid to tell you that you have it all wrong, Seokmin happened across me while I was on a stroll and he simply helped me get back before it became dark, I think everyone here needs to mind their business.” You turned around to continue walking but you could hear Joshua’s footsteps behind you,

“Joshua please just leave me alone.”

“Y/n I promise I'm just concerned, I’m really not trying to aggravate you this time.”

“Ahh so you admit you aggravate me on purpose.”

Joshua smirked, “Only a little.”

“Idiot.”

“Snarky as always,” he chuckled.

“Well no need to worry” you said “I promise I don’t wish to ruin the King’s reputation by being seen with him.” Joshua shook his head, “The King’s reputation? No he is fine, honestly he would be wholly unaffected by any implications that he’s taken you as a kept woman.” He cringed at the idea “No I am worried about you I would not want to see your reputation sullied by such rumors.”

“Why do you suddenly worry so much about me?” You asked “You made sure I did not share a roof with Mingyu, you got Jeonghan to let me be at tea, and now this.” Joshua averted his gaze, “It is my job to keep all the staff in line.” You giggled “Well if keeping me in line is what you’re trying to do it is not working, in fact you encourage my bickering with you.”

“Well then let’s call it looking out for a friend“

“Your definition of a friend seems skewed.” you replied as you shook your head.

“Have we not been friends all our lives y/n?” Joshua asked, and you couldn't help but begin to laugh, “Joshua, please, you were perhaps my biggest bully then, you always teased Seokmin for playing with me and made fun of my clothes.” Joshua smiled to himself, as if it was a fond memory for him. “What on earth are you smiling about?” He was honestly beginning to look like a fool with how wide he was grinning.

“I think back then,” Joshua said “I was simply jealous of how close Seokmin was to a girl.” You clasped a hand over your mouth to keep from loudly cackling, you would never have guessed Joshua had a passing fancy with you. “It’s alright though” he continued “because eventually I got to kiss you.”

You snorted, “Seokmin never even noticed, I felt so silly.”

“Did you want him to?”

“Of course I did.” You then noticed Joshua’s face fell a bit solemn, “Well” you continued “I'm not sure it was really a secret that I had an infatuation with him as a child, so of course I was hoping kissing you then would make him a bit envious.” He just nodded, you couldn’t distinguish his thoughts, and the silence was becoming uncomfortable. “I should hurry to my father now, he must be worried I'm late.” and before either of you could utter another word you hurried away, the air around Joshua had become off. You were unsure of what had happened just then but you hoped it would not happen again.

As you and your father had supper that night in the server’s dining quarters you were silent, the entire day had been strange and eventful and you wanted to explain none of it to him, you didn’t want him to worry about you anymore. Your father had spent the better part of five years worrying about you. “So how was your day? I did not get to see much of you.” Your father asked as he placed some potatoes on your plate. You plastered on a fake smile as you told him your day was fine. “It was rather uneventful honestly.” Father seemed unconvinced though,

“Really? Because one of my cooks overheard you being seen riding on a horse with the King.”

“Where is Mingyu?” You asked to distract him. “Don't worry, I think it’s nice, I recall you being close with Seokmin as a child.” You didn’t look at him though as you cut your pork into bite size pieces, “He just found me while I was on a walk and helped me get back before dark.” You stabbed your meat with your fork and shoved it into your mouth, praying the topic would be changed soon. “Well” father sighed “it is good to know he’s stayed kind through his struggles.”

“So where is Mingyu?” you asked again. “Oh he went into town, I needed him to do some shopping, we were low on flour, sugar, you know the essentials.” He scrunched his eyebrows as he spoke, “though I do wonder why he’s not back yet.” You held back an amused smile, knowing full well Mingyu had stopped to see the girl at the florists. “I am sure Mingyu is on his way back now, you know how social he is, probably got caught up in a conversation along the way.”

“I suppose so” your father mumbled, as he chewed he looked deep in thought, and once he finished he asked, “What do you think of Mingyu?” You looked back suspiciously as you set down the glass of water you were about to sip, “Aggravating” you replied “but like a brother, he’s a good friend to me.”

“Ah I see, I was wondering since you two spend so much time together…” You knew what your father was getting at now, though he was trying to be subtle about it. “I do not wish to marry him, father, or any man for that matter.” You stated matter of factly. Father seemed a bit exacerbated, “I just worry about you-” but you cut him off. “And I will be just fine in the future, you’ve already stated that your assets will be mine. I have no reason for a husband.”

“But what about companionship?” Your father asked sadly. You had no idea what else to say so you decided to just escape. “You know what I am full, thank you for supper.” You cleaned your place at the table and left off to your private quarters. You hated seeing your father so upset like that but he would just never understand.

The rest of your evening was spent shedding tears in your room. You were sad because your father was sad, you were sad because you knew the reason you refused to seek out marriage was entirely ridiculous. It wasn’t something you could help though, you had unintentionally built a wall around your heart. Companionship with anyone felt impossible…if they weren’t Seokmin. You shoved your face in your pillow and groaned at your own childish mind set. How could you still have feelings for him after all this time, you kept telling yourself it was a silly childhood infatuation. He would never choose you regardless of whether he was the prince or king or what have you and not just because he was royalty but because he was now an experienced man. He must have met tons of women on his year long travels, no doubt most of them were rich, suitable candidates for marriage. Those women were fit to become his wife, not you.

After hours of tossing and turning you finally managed to get some sleep. It wasn’t enough though and you woke up not feeling the slightest bit rested. You forced yourself out of bed and groggily walked over to your makeshift vanity, which was just a small table and a mirror. You looked absolutely horrendous from the lack of sleep, at least your messy hair could be brushed but there would be no helping the dark circles that had appeared overnight. You put on your uniform for the day and combed through the tangles in your hair before putting it into a braid. You decided washing your face today might be a good idea to try and look somewhat freshened up. The water pump was down in the basement though and the thought of walking there in the moment was daunting. If you wanted water though you supposed it was necessary. You walked out into the hall with your bowl, as you walked down the stairs you passed Mingyu whom you haven’t seen all night. He stopped to say hello but his face dropped when he noticed how tired you looked. “Sleep okay?” He asked hesitantly. “Just some nightmares, I snuck some dessert too late at night.” You tried to sound nonchalant, you didn’t need anyone being concerned. He simply nodded, “I suppose I’ll see you for work then.” You nodded in response and kept walking with your bowl to fetch your water.

…

You felt a bit better after washing your face, the dark circles of course didn’t leave but at least you felt like you had rinsed some of the sleep off. You went off to work and had a very typical morning of preparing breakfasts and scolding Mingyu for sneaking bacon off some plates. Getting into your normal routine was comforting and working kept your mind from wandering too far. You made a point to seem lively and joke around with everyone in front of your father so he would forget about your behavior the night before. He seemed content enough and didn’t mention any of the conversation you’d had. Once the breakfast preparation was over and all plates had been handed off to maids and butlers the staff dispersed to have a short break before needing to prepare for afternoon tea.

You moved yourself to a small garden located outside of a servant’s door for your break. Being outdoors on a sunny day was always refreshing, and this garden had some berries growing that you wanted to check on, if the strawberries were ripe you wanted to use them in a tart for tea time. As you checked on some of the produce you noticed Mingyu approaching you from the corner of your eye. “Can I help you or have you come to disturb my peace?”

“Bright and cheery as per usual.” You could feel his sarcasm hit you,

“I just wanted some fresh air.” Mingyu assumed a comfortable position on a bench in the garden which looked a bit funny as he was so tall and the bench was so low to the ground. With his knees so high one might think he was squatting. “Hey” he continued “do you think we will have to serve tea again? Because honestly that was an awkward exchange, and I’m not really sure how I feel about that Lord Jeonghan.” Mingyu cringed thinking about the events from yesterday.

“I don’t think so” you said “something tells me the king won’t have it happen again” “more like Joshua” Mingyu chuckled “he truly commanded that situation.” “Seokmin is just…he’s not all there right now…” you sighed.

Mingyu gave you a bit of a side glance, “y/n please he stayed completely silent while Lord Jerkhead made you and his wife uncomfortable” he tsked “not at all a way to treat ladies.” You giggled as you plucked a reddish looking strawberry to inspect it, “oh am I a lady now.”

“Well to the general public at least, I know you’re an absolute troll though don’t worry.” You spun around and chucked the strawberry at his head. “Hey that’s fresh food!” he exclaimed. “Don’t cross me and I won’t waste these berries any further.” You smiled a bit as you went to share the bench with him. “Thanks for being my friend Mingyu.” You said quietly. “Thanks for being mine.” He said. You both sat silently, content with each other’s company. A moment later Mingyu checked his pocket watch and stood from the bench, “Unfortunately break is over.” He said as he stretched himself out. You sighed as you stood up as well, “I don’t even get to make my strawberry tart” you tsked, “I threw the only good one at you.”

#svt fic #dokyeom fic #joshua fic #joshua hong #kpop #kpop fic #lee seokmin #dokyeom angst #dokyeom au #joshua au #royaltyau #svtau #dokyeom x reader #joshua x reader #svt x reader #seventeen angst #seventeen fanfic #svt fluff

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leejihoonownsmyheart · 2 years

Text

Heartbreak Girl

Summary:

Joshua has been in love with you for so long he's lost track. He'd do anything for you. He wished... He wished you felt the same.

Tags: Angst, Pining!Joshua, constantly dating others!y/n, best friends au, worried!seventeen, just a lot of pining on Joshua's part

4.4k Words

As requested by: @multihoe-net I hope this is to your liking :)

“You’re stupid if you think that I’m going to lose on Lilypad Leapers,” Mingyu said with a scoff. Joshua laughed and bumped into his side, trying to knock his concentration so that he would mess up. Mingyu made a loud sound of protest, but Joshua didn’t even care.

“What’s wrong huh? Worried you’re going to lose because of a little bump?”

Mingyu pressed his body into Joshua and turned his switch console until he was almost upside down.

“Of course, I’m not worried I’m going to lose, to what? You?” Mingyu barked out a laugh. “You doubt my leaping skills.”

“Oh? You call those skills?” Joshua snorted. “You’re barely going to qualify.”

To be completely honest, Mingyu and Joshua were neck to neck on Fall Guys, and neither of them were very good. It honestly didn’t even make sense that they were being so competitive, as they had not only Seungcheol but also Hansol playing with them, and they were all on the same squad. The four of them would be doing a lot better, actually, if it weren’t for exactly how bad Mingyu and Joshua were at the game.

“Hah!” Joshua blurted victoriously. “Looks like you fell, and I am-”

Before he could finish talking, he watched his red character miss the lily pad trampoline and fall into the abyss. He pressed his lips together tightly.

“What happened- What?” Mingyu laughed triumphantly. “You fell, didn’t you?”

Joshua got right back to jumping.

“Stop acting like you’re doing any better I can literally see you!”

Game night was always like this, but to be honest, it wasn’t always Joshua who was neck and neck with Mingyu. He had a way of infecting whoever he was with into having a ravenous appetite for victory, and today Joshua was the one who was infected.

And that was how he had gotten here with Mingyu, neck and neck, both about to cross the finish line with ten seconds left on the clock and-

Joshua felt the distinct vibration of a phone ring and he was off. He got to his feet, ignoring the sounds of protest from Seungcheol and Hansol as he did. Mingyu fell over on the couch and popped up to look at Joshua with a confused look as Joshua slid the green phone across his screen.

“Hey, hey what’s up?” He tried to shrink as far away from the others as possible as he waited for an answer. Joshua waited as he heard a strangled sob come from the other end of his phone.

“He’s such an asshole Joshua.”

Joshua nodded even though you couldn’t see him.

“What did he do this time?” Joshua asked softly. You sniffled and Joshua could hear the distinct sound of you moving your phone around.

“I just don’t understand how he’s moved on so easily,” you replied. “He said he loved me, and he dropped me like I didn’t matter at all.”

“You didn’t deserve that,” Joshua assured. “Are you-”

He shuffled his own phone so that he was pressed further into the wall.

“Are you okay? Do you need-”

“When I was with him things just... They made sense you know? Have you ever felt like that for anyone?”

Joshua was silent for a second longer than he wished he had been.

“I know that Jin was really important to you.”

“He promised to be with me forever,” you continued. Joshua could tell that you had been at this for a while. Your breathing was coming infrequently at heavy pants. You were barely able to talk through the tears.

“Look, you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“Joshua I can’t keep asking you to come over and help me just because I can’t get over Jin.”

Joshua raised his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it nervously.

“You didn’t ask.”

You were silent for a moment.

“I really- You don’t have to-”

“I’ll be over in ten.”

Joshua could practically hear your smile through the phone.

“Thank you, Joshua.”

This was Joshua’s least favorite part of calls from you. He hated to hang up, hated to think that after he got off the phone with you, you were left to your thoughts and to that big empty apartment that Joshua knew you hated to be alone in.

He scrambled to turn off his phone, sliding it into his back pocket as he turned to face the group of boys that were aggressively no longer playing Fall Guys. Seungcheol sighed, his eyes round and eyebrows lax.

“Joshua-” He started. Joshua raised a hand in the air.

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said as he rushed over to the couch to collect his things. “She needs me.”

“You’re just hurting yourself,” Hansol disagreed. “She’ll be fine in time. You already do so much for her.”

“What is she going to do in that apartment all alone? She was with Jin for three months.”

“And she was with Sungmin for half a year,” Mingyu argued.

“And wasn’t she with Jisun for another six months before that?” Seungcheol asked.

“She really thought that Jin was the one,” Joshua said, giving his friends a pressed look. “Where are my keys?”

Hansol held them up.

“It’s not the fact that you are going over there to comfort her that we aren’t agreeing with,” Hansol said as Joshua rushed over to snatch the keys from his hand.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

“You’re just going to get hurt,” Seungcheol insisted. Joshua shot him a glare.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he argued. He didn’t care what they had to say. After all, he still had to get to you. Your apartment was luckily closed to Cheol’s. You were just a five-minute walk from here, giving Joshua time to, of course, buy some of your favorite snacks from the store and-

“She doesn’t love you,” Mingyu said, interrupting Joshua’s thoughts. He froze at that, his fingers wrapped tightly around the doorknob. “Not like you love her at least.”

Joshua pressed his eyes closed for a moment, feeling a pressure unlike any other pressing down on the back of his mind.

“I’ll see you guys around.”

To give credit where it was due a part of Joshua knew that his friends were right.

Joshua practically lived his life for his best friend. It was like when he was with you his life was on play. That was when things mattered the most. When you were there, and he was smiling at you and you were happy and laughing.

But when he wasn’t with you, when he was just with his friends, or when he was alone, or when he was just doing any mundane task that you weren’t a part of his life was on pause. His life flourished around you.

Joshua flourished around you.

He didn’t care what people said or thought. In his eyes what mattered the most was you and your happiness and right now... You weren’t happy.

And Joshua would do whatever he could to make you happy.

“I just don’t get it,” you murmured through your tears. Joshua pressed his lips together, deciding to just nod on to your distress. “He told me he would never cheat on me. Everyone told me that I was stupid for trusting him but I just...”

You sniffled and looked down at your hands.

“I thought that maybe if there was someone, he would change for it would be me,” you continued. Joshua’s heart broke a little for you as you spoke. That was the problem with you. It wasn’t that you were a bad person, or that you were too naïve. Nothing simple like that.

No, it was that you were too kind. Too trusting. You loved too much and when you decided to love something...

Joshua watched as more tears fell from your eyes.

You never just simply stopped loving someone.

Joshua leaned forward and lifted your face with his hands. He smiled at you; his expression soft as he stared into your red eyes.

“It’s not your fault for trusting him,” Joshua said softly. “Yes, he was the wrong person to trust but you know one of my favorite things about you is how trusting you are.”

A smile flickered across your lips.

“Really?” You asked. Another tear streaked down your face and Joshua wiped the tear away.

“Yeah. That and your unresisting kindness, your infectious laugh and smile-”

You interrupted Joshua with a soft giggle.

“You always say the right thing Joshua,” you said softly. Joshua hummed, his smile flickering for a moment.

“I hate to see you cry,” he said softly. You stared up at him, unsure of what to say. You felt like most of the time you knew Joshua pretty well.

He was your best friend. He had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. He had always been there for you; from the first time you had fallen off your bike to the first time that you had stepped into the halls of the high school you two spent four years imprisoned at. You two had even started college together.

Joshua cared about you the way no one ever had. In fact, not that you would ever tell Joshua this, that had been the reason for a few of your breakups.

“You never listen to me. Why don’t you ever just listen to what I say?” You screamed.

“Why don’t you just go tell Joshua all about how shitty I am huh? And while you do that, get your stuff and get out.”

“Fine!”

“Fine.”

Tears welled up in your eyes again so you looked away from Joshua.

“Just don’t look then,” you said softly. “I can’t help crying.”

Joshua’s elbow nudged your side lightly and so you looked back up at him. He sighed when he saw your face.

“Let’s watch a movie, huh? We can watch your favorite? How does that sound?”

You nodded, but your smile wasn’t all there. He got up to get the movie playing and all you could think about was how lucky you were. Joshua really was the best friend that a girl could ever ask for.

“I’ve got to go,” Joshua said suddenly, getting up from the lunch table. Seungcheol grumbled, looking up from his salad.

“Let me guess-”

“She broke her shower, and she doesn’t want to call maintenance because they just come into her apartment-”

“No, I get it,” Seungcheol interrupted. “Go be there for your girlfriend. Oh wait-”

Joshua gave Seungcheol an annoyed look and turned from him to go to see you. He was quick to get to your apartment. He was always quick really. Nothing came in the way of him being there for you. He didn’t even bother knocking on your door. He knew that you had left it open for him. He pushed into your apartment, catching you standing in your kitchen in pajamas.

For a minute Joshua was awestruck. Not because of what you were wearing but because it was you. You never ceased to be so stunning it took his breath away. Even when you were doing something so mundane as pouting at him from the kitchen.

“What’s wrong with your shower?” Joshua asked, a smile crossing his lips.

“Let me show you,” you said back and he followed you down the hall to your bathroom.

You gritted your teeth in frustration. You hadn’t expected to do so bad on this test. You thought you had been ready, but clearly you were very wrong. Your friend glanced over at you, her eyebrows furrowing.

“What’s wrong?”

You showed her your grade.

“I have a serious problem.”

“Why don’t you just go to office hours? Our professor can help you.”

You waved off the suggestion.

“Our professor is scary. I’ll just go ask Joshua.”

Hyein groaned loudly.

“You can’t just ask for help from Joshua on everything!” She insisted. “He’s not always going to say yes.”

“Of course, he’s always going to say yes. When does he ever say no?” You replied. You pulled out your phone to text him, but Hyein snatched it from your hands.

“Don’t ask him. You treated Joshua like a boyfriend without the benefits.”

You snatched the phone back.

“Even if I did treat him like that- Which I don’t- He doesn’t even want the benefits.”

“All men want the benefits,” Hyein replied pointedly, but she didn’t make a second attempt to grab your phone. You stuck your tongue out at her.

“You clearly don’t know Joshua.”

“Why don’t you just tell her that you’re in love with her?” Seokmin asked Joshua. He groaned and shrugged.

“Can we not talk about this? I’ve been trying to read this book for hours and I’m getting nowhere.”

“Yeah, because you’re in love with your best friend and you’re not doing anything about it.”

Joshua closed his book, realizing he wasn’t going to get anywhere in it today. At least, not while Seokmin was distracting him like this.

“What am I supposed to do about it?” He asked Seokmin. Seokmin pointed at Joshua’s chest, right over where his heart was.

“Tell her,” he said pointedly. “What’s the worst that could happen? She doesn’t feel the same way?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Joshua replied. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship over some stupid crush.”

“That stupid crush has gone on for like six years,” Seokmin retorted. “You’re almost ruining your friendship by not telling her about it.”

“Seokmin you don’t know the first thing about relationships. I don’t want to hear it from you.”

Seokmin raised his hands in the air defensively.

“I just don’t like to see you unhappy Joshua.”

“Shut up.”

“Okay, I've got to go, it's game night with the boys,” Joshua said, beginning to collect his things. You whined in protest.

“Nooo, can’t you stay a little longer?” You begged. “We can watch a movie together and eat some popcorn- doesn't that sound like fun?”

Joshua looked at you with a bit of a helpless look in his eyes. One you were used to seeing from him when you were begging him to stay with you instead of going somewhere else.

“Come on, I really do need to go. I haven’t hung out with the guys in a week and-”

“But you have barely hung out with me recently,” you continued to complain. “And you promised me you would make more time for me!”

“I just helped you with your homework,” Joshua said helplessly.

“But that wasn’t really hanging out with me,” you pointed out. “That was helping me. Hanging out and helping are two different things.”

Joshua hesitated so you stood up.

“Please, I’ve been really wanting to watch this movie with you...”

You let the statement hang in the air and you pretended like you didn’t know what the answer would be.

“Okay... I’ll text the guys that I’m coming late but I’m still going.”

You squealed and hugged Joshua.

“Come on! This will be so much fun!”

You knew that even as Joshua insisted he would be leaving to go see his friends that a movie together meant that he would stay the night. And the next morning when you woke up to the smell of pancakes and the sight of your best friend in last nights clothes you would smile brightly and think to yourself how lucky you really were.

Joshua was everything.

You had nothing without Joshua.

“Hey, I know you mean well but can I ask you something?”

You looked up at Hansol, a look of confusion settled over your face.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Stop doing this to Joshua.”

This only proved to confuse you even more. Your eyebrows furrowed further.

“Doing what?”

“Look it’s not really my place to say,” Hansol said softly. “But you’re really hurting him. Every time you start dating someone new. Every time you call him and you’re crying. You’re killing him.”

“What?” You asked. “Why would it kill him that I’m just telling him how I feel?”

“Because...” Hansol looked so frustrated that you weren’t able to piece together what he was saying. He blew hard out of his mouth. “I can’t say. You have to figure it out yourself.”

Your mouth opened in protest but Hansol was already turning around.

“I shouldn’t have come to you in the first place just...” He turned to look at you over his shoulder. “Think about Joshua the next time you go to call him. I don’t think you realize just how much he does for you.”

And then Hansol was gone.

That conversation left you... So frustrated. You couldn’t really wrap your mind around it. What were you doing to Joshua that was so bad?

Yes, you confided everything in him, but there was nothing wrong with that. You were best friends.

You thought about all the things that you had done to him over the last few months. You remembered normal movie nights. You remembered him cooking for you. You remembered the nights where you had cried to him about your breakup.

He never seemed off in your memories. He was just... Joshua.

What was it about Hansol’s face... That made you think you had really fucked up? Why did your heart sink when he said those things to you?

Why did you feel like you had made some big mistake when it came to you and Joshua’s relationship?

You hadn’t done anything wrong.

You hadn’t even realized you were walking until suddenly you collided into someone. You looked up and saw wide brown eyes and a dark wave of hair.

“I’m so sorry,” the person said. When his eyes met yours he seemed to be taken aback. “I... Wow, you are so beautiful.”

Your face flushed and your worries about Joshua suddenly left your mind.

“Did you bump into me just so you could say that?” You asked him, batting your eyes. He smiled.

“I wish I had that sort of forethought. I’m Dongjin.”

You hummed.

“Dongjin. I think it’s a good thing that we met.”

“Joshua!” You exclaimed excitedly. You rushed over to him, dragging someone in tow behind you. Joshua felt his heart sink when he saw the smile on your lips and the man in your hands.

“Hey,” he said, trying to force a smile on his lips. “Who is your-”

“This is my new boyfriend Dongjin!” You exclaimed excitedly. The man in question pressed his lips together in a smile. Joshua looked up at him... Literally, he was tall, and nodded in greeting.

“Your new boyfriend,” he said. A humorless laugh let his lips involuntarily, and he scrambled to cover it up. “I’m so glad to meet you! I’m sure you know who I am.”

Dongjin laughed.

“The best friend,” he agreed with a nod. “The most important man in her life yeah?”

“And she’s the most important woman,” Joshua agreed. He wanted to hit himself. He was being so transparent. Why couldn’t he just be happy for you?

When he looked over at you, you were staring at him with a blank expression on your face. Your grip had loosened on Dongjin’s wrist. Joshua gave you a smile that he hoped was convincing but you didn’t seem to notice. You turned to Dongjin.

“There are other people I want to introduce you to,” you said. “But, I’m tired. Can we go?”

Dongjin’s expression softened and he nodded.

“Let’s go.”

You looked over your shoulder at Joshua and he hoped that you couldn’t see his heart breaking.

“See you,” you said.

Joshua just waved in farewell.

Joshua didn’t cry every time you got a new boyfriend. There was no point in that. He knew that your boyfriend’s didn’t last long. He knew that in a few weeks, or a month, you would show up at his doorstep. He knew that in the end you two were best friends. Joshua was the only consistent man in your life.

That was good.

So why did Joshua want more so much?

Why did he want so badly to be the one that you dragged around a party? Why did he want to be going on dates with you, and be the one who got to pull you close and kiss you and tell you he loved you?

He was so sick of you telling him that he was a good friend. So sick of just being the guy that consoled you. He was selfish. He wanted more, he wanted you.

And that’s why he cried.

Not because you had a new boyfriend who clearly already cared about you a lot. Not because he knew this relationship would last at least a year. Not because you were going to be spending a lot of time with this new boyfriend.

He cried because he wanted to be your next boyfriend. And he wanted to be the person that made you stop needing others. And he worried that this Dongjin was going to steal that from him.

Joshua’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell ringing.

“Coming.”

He got to his feet and rushed to the bathroom, spraying water in his face. Then he quickly went into his kitchen and cut an onion in half... Just in case. Then he walked up and pulled his door open.

He was surprised to find you standing there.

So surprised he could barely find the words to address you at all.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were with Dongjin?” He asked. You had that same weird look on your face that you had early. You squinted at him as if you could tell he had been crying so he laughed. “Are you looking at my eyes? I’m just cutting onions; you know how it is.”

You pushed past him without asking him to elaborate and so Joshua cautiously closed the door behind himself.

“I broke up with Dongjin.”

Joshua’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. That was fast.

“Oh, are you okay? Do I need to-”

You turned around and interrupted him by putting an open hand in the air. Joshua obediently stopped talking. You closed your eyes tightly, lowering your head a tad, and your fingers curled down so that you just had one index finger pointed in the air.

“You’re in love with me.”

Was it hot in the room? It was, it was burning. How had Joshua not noticed before just how hot it was in this room? Why hadn’t he opened a window, or turned the A.C up?

And that being aside when had the walls in the apartment ever been this close together? He almost swore that if he spread his arms out wide he would be able to touch both walls- were they getting closer? It felt like they were getting closer.

He blinked rapidly, trying to get his mind straight.

“I think I misheard you-”

“Admit it Joshua!” You interrupted again. “Don’t fuck with me, tell me it straight. I need to hear you say it.”

Silence fell between the two of you as Joshua waited for you to take it back. He waited for you to say this was all some huge prank.

A minute passed.

“I’m...” He couldn’t believe he was about to say this. “I’m in love with you.”

Joshua’s eyes dropped to the floor and he didn’t let them move from that spot. He cleared his throat awkwardly, hoping it would somehow clear the tension in the room.

“Joshua...” You trailed off. “Do you know how desperately I have been searching for love?”

Joshua didn’t respond. He didn’t even look at you. He couldn’t look at you. Now his secret was out after all. You two would never be just friends ever again.

“I’ve been trying so hard to find someone that will make me happy. Someone that will be there for me. Someone who gets me and would never hurt me,” you said. “I’ve gone through boyfriend after boyfriend and every last one of them has been a waste of time and this whole time I didn’t realize the obvious.”

He felt you touch his chest and it forced him to look up at you. You gave him a nervous smile. He hadn’t seen you look truly nervous towards him in a while.

“It’s you Joshua. You’re the perfect person for me.”

Joshua’s eyes widened.

“What?”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get my shit together. To realize what was literally right in front of me. It’s you, it’s always been you, and it was so obvious that you loved me and I just ignored all the signs-”

“I mean it wasn’t that obvious,” Joshua interjected but you weren’t really listening.

“I love you Joshua. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. I’m sorry that I’m only just saying it now. I love you.”

Joshua was going to give this a few seconds because if he didn’t he didn’t think it was going to actually sit in.

You had come to his house, broken up with your boyfriend and now you were confessing your love for him.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked. You gave him a small smile and pressed towards him. You placed a small kiss to his lips. So soft, and so hesitant it was like he had never been kissed at all.

“Did that feel like a dream?”

Instead of responding Joshua rushed forward. He placed both of his hands on your cheeks and pulled you against him, kissing you like he needed you to breath. When he pulled away you two were gasping, your face was red and he couldn’t actually believe that this was happening to him.

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life,” Joshua mumbled. “I don’t want to be like your last boyfriends. I will stay with you, I will never hurt you.”

“I know,” you agreed. You buried your face in Joshua’s chest and it made his heart skip a beat. “I don’t want to leave you. Don’t make me leave you tonight. I want to stay.”

It echoed of a time you had said this before, but this time it felt different. Because this time your heart wasn’t broken. Because this time you didn’t want to stay because you were hurt. You wanted to stay because you wanted Joshua. Not Dongjin, not any of the other men that she had been with you. You wanted to stay with him.

“Stay as long as you want,” he said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

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