#just a lil post for myself so i can look back on it; honestly tumblr has become somewhat of an archive for me in a way

[entomolog-t]

Good morning! I was just wondering how you got into posting on tumblr? I've been writting a g/t story for the last few months and am tej chapters in, and would really like to post it, but the thought of peaple actually reading it is scary lol

I just sorta dove in.

As a kid I used to post on deviant art a lot, and that's how I found the g/t community. Though I only ever posted art.

I fell off regular posting and abandoned the account. Years later I found myself yearning for g/t content. I lurked on Tumblr for a while (literally just repeatedly checking on a few different blogs without even making an account).

Eventually, looking in through the proverbial window got lonely. Especially when seeing how much fun/cute interactions were being had in the community.

So I made an account and just posted a few things. A lil art, asked for some recommendations etc and before I knew it I was making friends.

Ocs just kind of happened. I started with Aedes, and just kept on making more drawings with him.

Then comics.

But comics are hard and take forever. I had so many ideas that I wanted to share. It got overwhelming. And life got overwhelming.

Then I took a break from Tumblr for a few years.

But I still had so many ideas. I wanted to give my OCs a real story. When I came back to Tumblr I thought a lot about writing. I've always enjoyed writing though never actually posted anything. Hell, I hadn't written since high-school. But as I read other people's work, it just seemed to make me itch for it- "I can do it too."

And then I did.

The more I wrote the easier it got. More ideas, more characters and more interactions. People liked what I made.

It hit different than art.

It felt like I'd shown people a part of me- and they liked what they saw. It didn't get as much attention as art- but the interacts felt deeper, and even more importantly, I fell in love with my ocs. Giving them life and telling their story just feels like I'm unraveling some knot inside my brain. It feels like it frees up space- makes me lighter.

I hope it feels the same for you Anon. It's a great feeling.

If you ever want to share your writing, you can feel free to DM! I'm slow to reply at times, but I'd love to read. It may be easier to share with one person at a time. And if not me, I'd definitely recommend sharing with any friends you have in the community.

But honestly? My advice is to dive in and don't look back.

#WRITE WRITE WRITE #YOU CAN DO THIS #g/t community

[bambiscottagecare]

I was kinda having a great time in Subspace, listening to some really great files and all of a sudden I snapped out of it, like ig I got overstimmed or something and now I just feel shitty, and I figured I’d maybe talk a lil about aftercare or something. I’m putting this on the side blog pretty much only because I’d rather keep the main for Bambi and her pretty pictures.

Anyway if you’re ever in this situation like I literally was just now, it’s nobody’s fault. Your dom (if you have one or if they’re here with you) did great, and I’m sure you did too! This stuff happens. Nobody likes to blog about the scene fails because it ruins the fantasy but it happens a lot and always remember that. (More under the cut!) ✨

So I decided to go outside onto my patio with a water bottle, get some fresh air, rehydrate, sorta gather myself and calm down from all of the stimulation. I had Twitter (X?) opened before I started to listen, so I closed it because let’s be honest that site isn’t the place to be when the goal is to feel okay and grounded. If I wasn’t writing this post I’d have closed tumblr too. I took off Bambi’s “uniform” too (obviously but I wanted to mention it anyway bc some people really do raw dog BS and PLEASE don’t do that).

After I came back inside I turned on a vod one of my favorite “comfort” streamers, Vinesauce. He’s playing some really bad Mario fan games, or something, honestly I did it more for the voice and less the content, though what he’s playing looks funny. I need to start making dinner and so I’ll do that in a few minutes. I’m making a ramen kit I bought at Costco!

I also recently bought the game Spirittea so I’m really looking forward to playing more when I can focus better. Regardless of if you believe that brainwashing is real, there are definitely files which scramble my brain for what feels like ages! So many talented creators! It’s what makes listening fun! Right now we don’t want that though.

Speaking of Vinesauce I’ve recently gotten into his band Red Vox. Dad rock isn’t really my kind of music but it’s kinda comforting to listen to, it reminds me of when I was a kid in the back seat of my parents’ car at night half asleep while the local rock station plays Soundgarden and Nirvana. I have it playing on my phone while I’m chopping up veggies for dinner

Anyway I could go on all night and live-blog but I kinda just wanted to talk about what I did after things didn’t pan out. I’ll maybe try again tomorrow with an easier playlist or something. Keep an eye on the main just in case!

Goodnight!

[yesloulou]

heya! i’ve noticed that the gifs you make are verryyyyy high quality. i’m new to gif making (literally just downloaded photoshop yesterday 💀). how do you manage to upload your gifs without tumblr compressing it? or i guess, how do you edit your gifs so that it’s a smaller file size?

first of all

😳💖

thank u for the kind words this means so much to me 😳😳😳 and congrats on your new bat mobiel photoshop hope u have the best fun w it!!!

(re: uploading) I don't really do anything special. i just click the lil blue new post button select image and choose the gifs to upload. i think whether or not or how much tumblr compresses our gifs**, as long as they're ok quality they'll be able to withstand it.

(re: file size) i don't think i do anything special either but here's my setting. i stick to 540 px width and don't cut them too long. the only other thing i would change is the number of colors. most of the time i will compromise color for size (i try not to go below 128 colors)

(re: making them good quality) i avoid over-sharpening (pixelation) at allllllll cost. i'll choose under-sharpening over over-sharpening any given day. here is a lil write up from a while back on everything i do to sharpen my gifs.

besides that. since gifs can have 256 colors tops, the more 'neutralized' your gifs are, the less pixelation you get (so that the 256 colors can now all concentrate on bringing out the most realistic skin colors, for example). @ariesrain's gifs (hope you don't mind me using ur gif ariesrain!!) are excellent examples on how eliminating certain colors can make other colors in your gifs butter smooth (you can see the greens in the plants and the blues in the zippers were both neutralized. you also feel like ur looking at daniel ricciardo in person)

on the other hand, @3-13-3's works (hope you don't mind me using ur gif 3-13-3!!) are excellent examples on how giving your gifs more different & saturated colors can bring the liveliness to a maximum

in the end i think it's a matter of finding the right balance and doing things the way you like!! the same goes for gif sizing. some of my gifs look like they're gigantic (vertical) and goes on forever (duration) and have a decent amount of colors (if i do say so myself). in reality they're probably barely 10 colors away from being pixel art. the more extreme you want some factors to be (duration, height, colors), the more time you'll likely need to spend on finding the right balance (to keep it under 10mb). and over time you start to get a sense of which gifs are worthy of trying and which gifs will most likely be lost causes (ie there's no way you can do under 10mb at 9:16 vertical)

**p.s. i just did a lil research re gif compression (downloaded some gifs & compared them to the originals) and i think tumblr actually stopped rehashing (compressing) gifs some time during the last two weeks. With the older ones you can see signs of compression but with the new ones they're literally the exact same gifs down to the pixels. which is honestly good news!!

anyways. i'd be happy to go into more details if you have more questions! again ty for the kind words and for this ask and happy creating!!! 💖

#asks #* #f1edit #my gif tutorials #<- more like gif talks but yk

[onlyoneofyouu]

the plan was to write a fun and light-hearted review but i guess that's not in the cards for me today ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ here's a bunch of feelings instead!

(no lore, literally just a lil rambling. feel free to ignore ofc - i'll probably post some unhinged reviewy thoughts later anyway :)

soooo... since this morning I've been trying to write a fangirling review full of memes for the name chapter: freefall like i've done before for other albums or their previews. you know, to have fun and scream about how good they sound or that line that made me go feral! and i do have something for a couple songs that i'll probably post later, but overall i kept failing because honestly that's not what feels right right now.

apart from back for more and do it like that (that are like an ass shaking break from dehydrating yay), i honestly sobbed my ass out with this album and i'm on the verge of doing it again as i'm writing this and listening to it.

the aspect that affected me the most was the lyrics and the way they delivered them. you can hear and tell how much txt grew musically. their vocals are really really great in every track, their styles more defined, and their overall group color too. they got back to the genres that fits them best (i think) - rock and disco -, experimented new ones - 80's new wave -, and something in between - rnb with dreamer that literally devastated destroyed demolished me btw, in more ways than one. when txt said in interviews and at the comeback showcase too that they keep trying to deliver relatable lyrics about their own struggles and feelings as well as their peers and the young, they weren't joking or overestimating themselves, they really are.

this album feels very personal to me. txt's songs always did, but with this i think we reached a new peak. i connected to it heart and soul.

personally, probably the one thing i love most about txt is how we share being in our twenties at the same time and how, despite different ethnicities, backgrounds, experiences etc, we are connected by our feelings and are able to sympathise with eachother and help eachother out, like, ahh... it just warms my heart. their music feels so close to me and that's honestly what any musician needs for them to become my favourite. once i connect on a deep level with their music that's literally all it takes.

I haven't opened up about this on tumblr before, but i've been pretty depressed this year. that's also part of the reason why i haven't been that active, together with being busy with uni stuff. i did had good days, i've been hanging in there, trying to focus on the good things in my life, but overall it's been hard, and i'm trying my best to get better soon because it's been tiring. i get so angry at myself because i have so many things in my life to be happy and grateful for, but i still get anxious and i'm still unsatisfied. i've been so frustrated about where i am in life, all the things i expected to be different by now, that i want to change but still can't, i've grown beyond impatient.

so, today, this album felt like the kind of understanding hug i've been looking for this year. growing pains is probably going to become what can't you see me was for me during the pandemic - an outlet to vent my anger and frustrations. chasing that feeling is going to be what take me home by ateez also is for me - my reminder to keep chasing what feels like home despite the hardships. dreamer is literally me condensed into a song (!?). deep down is there to remind me that even if my peculiarities can feel like a burden they're part of my identity and they shouldn't feel like it. happily ever after says it's okay even if things didn't go as i planned them, to embrace my failures and keep going even if life it's not a fairytale and it's unpredictable. i'll find my way. skipping stones feels like reading one of my journal entries where i write to my past and future self. and blue spring, a promise, has been here for me everyday since i heard it at the concert. with this album i didn't feel alone anymore, i felt that company and reassurance in a way i struggled to find until now, and i'm deeply grateful to txt for that 🤍

#jothingz

[madness-of-void]

Okay! Soooo...

I went to the Undertale Café.

Twice.

Yes, you read that right. Twice.

Was it worth it? Well, that's what under the cut is for.

prepareyourbutts

First Round Review:

So I went about a week after the anniversary, thinking that it would've calmed down just a little. If the line wrapping around the building was any indication how much it did not calm down...dunno what is.

I went with my sister and her bf (as a belated bday present to me), and none of us had eaten at that time, so we decided to leave and come back. Which was both an okay decision and possibly kind of stupid. The line was shorter when we got back, but it was still long.

In fact...we waited in line for 4 hours.

While in line, there was some awesome, albeit faded, chalk drawings everywhere! picsincoming

It's so cool to see the talent in this fandom, and how strong it is still 7 years later. I mean, had no doubt if the battle for tumblr sexyman was anything to go by, but it's still nice to see!

Anywho...

The 3 of us are introverts, so you can imagine the amount of social battery depletion we had waiting in that line for that long. my lils sis & her bf didn't have to but they did & they are insane for doing that but i'm thankful too Especially with some of the conversations going on around us.

Sis' bf did ask a lot of questions about the game, wanting to understand the reason why I wanted to go to this little collab. So that was fun. Got to gush about one of my favorite games. While dead on my feet. And it was actually kind of funny seeing him get excited about us finally getting to the door 4 hours later.

So how was the inside? Was it amazing? Spectacular? Very Undertale?

Ehhhhhh....

No.

If you waited 4 hours, or sometimes even longer, for nothing but the drinks, food, merch, and cardboard cutouts of some of the characters whilst expecting something really cool...you're likely gonna be disappointed.

The place does look really cool on the inside! I mean, check out this kick ass stained glass!

It's really nice in there, and honestly, I kinda want to go back when it isn't doing the collab to see how it is normally! They had so many references to other video games and other fantasy franchises! It's such a cool and cute little place!

But, as an Undertale collab, it's kind of...meh. So many people definitely would not think this was worth a long wait, probably getting their hopes up that it would be something absolutely spectacular.

Now I myself wasn't way too upset. Been in fandom for a long time, and learned long ago to never get my hopes up. But I won't lie, I was expecting a little more with the decorations and the cutouts is my biggest gripe. atleastwithreview1

But hey! They had a game going on! Seems to be different every time from other posts I've seen. When we were there, we had Deltarune Chapter 2!

Now...onto the food and drinks.

There was no food.

They ran out.

Not a huge surprise, really. It's definitely a small café. They were 150% not prepared for the full force of the Undertale fandom. If I was in the shoes of the workers, I would be so overwhelmed. The fact that they are handling it as well as they can and are all so sweet (some even visibly excited about all this or wearing merch) is absolutely amazing. They deserve raises for dealing with the chaos.

As for the drinks? Well, they ran out of the Sans Soda. Shocker there. Everyone wants to try the tumblr sexyman's drink! forthememesimsure Apparently, it's the best drink! So, sadly, I didn't get to have it. But I did get to try the other drink I wanted! The Sea Tea!

ignorethenamewecouldntdomultiplenamesforthetrioanditsnotmine

The presentation is lacking, considering how it is advertised, and that's gonna piss some people off. As a former customer service worker, I definitely didn't care. And it doesn't come with the Undyne figure. In fact, none of the drinks come with the figures that they're pictured with. So if that's something you were looking forward to, you're a tad bit out of luck.

As for the taste, I personally liked it. I don't know how to describe it exactly, but it was pretty good. My sis also got the Sea Tea, and she had the same opinion.

The sister's bf, on the other hand, got the Heats Flamesman, and he did not like it. Not really sure why. He didn't elaborate. My sis took a sip and said she liked it. It could easily just be it was more tea than any of the other flavors listed to his liking, or different taste buds. Either way, that's apparently not an unpopular opinion from other posts I've seen.

All-in-all, the experience was...so-so. But it definitely was a bit skewed due to the fact that by the time we got in there we were so exhausted that everything was...blah.

Which is why I went again.

Round Two Review:

This time, I went earlier! infactamwritingthisafterjustcominghome

Maybe a tad bit too early. There was barely anyone in line. Compared to when I went the first time, it was insane to see the difference! Probably because it was a weekday instead of a weekend.

Aaaaaaand new chalk drawings dropped!

This time in line, it was more quiet. But you could still tell people were excited to be here. Hell, there were more people dressed up! I saw an Asgore, a Frisk, and a Sans!

The wait was an hour this time, but that's only because I arrived, well, an hour before opening. Then after opening it was another 13 minutes to get in, just because they wanted to space out the groups going in and not crowd the door/walk areas. But once inside, I was able to enjoy the décor a little more than last time, since I wasn't exhausted as hell.

Again, I would love to come here when it isn't doing the collab. It looks so cool!

And, once again, the TV had a game going on! This time it was Deltarune Chapter 1! (another table with a solo TV had Omori on)

They actually had food this time, too! Not a whole lot, but hey! I could try food! Which I did! I got the Spider Donuts!

I've heard mixed reviews on the donuts. But I...actually liked them. I was pleasantly surprised by them! You get 3 little donuts in this little container. They definitely look like someone had to do the frosting and the webbing by hand, which I can admire. I really couldn't describe the taste exactly, just that when I bit into the first one I loved it. Might've had a little fruit flavoring? Again, not sure. But I found them to be pretty good!

The best part, however...

I GOT THE SANS SODA!

Was it as good as some people said it was?

YES.

It should not be.

It had no right to be.

But it was good.

I actually liked it a little better than the Sea Tea! It didn't really taste like cotton candy to me per se...but it was a little tart and that shit's right up my alley.

So, yes. The Sans Soda was delicious. I got the meme drink. Halleluiah!

Also got to go get merch this time! It was for pick up or delivery only, which is fine. They probably couldn't have much of it on the shelves. Or they had it on the anniversary date and ran out. Who knows.

This time, I also was able to sneak in a little self-indulgent selfie with the skelebros this time around, not feeling rushed to get in and out.

Final thoughts overall?

Personally, I enjoyed it. It definitely won't be andisnt everyone's cup of tea. My biggest gripe is still just having cut outs of the characters, but I don't know what's going on behind the scenes. Maybe this was all this small café could do. And it is a small café. Like I said earlier in this long ass post, they were not ready for the Undertale Fandom. The workers did the best they could, and they honestly did amazing all things considered. Some won't see it that way and that's fine. And some people had a terrible time. My first time honestly wasn't that great. My second time was fun! It all depends on the person and how things roll out.

Would I love to see this happen again on a much bigger scale and better preparations? Absolutely. Will it happen? Probably not. Who knows what will happen for the 8 year anniversary! Maybe something bigger! Maybe something smaller.

Whatever it is, I'll be excited regardless.

Because it's Undertale.

And it's amazing how large this indie game is all these years later.

#void talks #nic talks #undertale cafe #long as hell post #like damn i rambled #tldr: i liked it and i know some people didn't

[gunkbaby]

Hello my lovelies. Just popping in with a little queued update on things (Shuu's birthday) for y'all. (gets a wee bit personal at the end, so feel free to skip that part!)

I am currently fighting off the evil mental illness demons, so I apologise for not being very active right now, and being generally bad at replying to messages and things. Things are just kind of bad on my end, especially in regards to my eating disorder. I'm super sorry, but I'm trying to do my best rn.

Anyway. Just wanted to pop in and say that I'm working real hard on getting some things ready for Shuu's birthday! I have already finished this year's Build-A-Bear poll, and the Minecraft server is almost ready! I've also got some art, and maybe a little sewing piece too, to share with y'all. I write Shuu a birthday letter most years, and if I'm comfortable, I will share that too.

I know I said before that i was planning to host a short, drawtober style event (mainly for me) centered around some Tsukiyama-esque prompts. I would still very much like to do that. I have five prompts ready that Shuu related, and I am very much looking forward to sharing them with you all.

I will try and post more information about it soon, but I do have an issue - I am unsure if my health would allow me to participate in the event.

(personal stuff under the cut, tw, ed & relapse mentions)

I try not to talk about it a lot - on Tumblr especially - but last year some not so nice things happened to me on my old Tumblr, on Shuu's birthday. It kinda ruined Shuu's birthday for me, and I have quite a lot of pretty severe trauma from it. Those events did sorta ruin my reputation, (hence why I don't interact with the fandom anymore lol) and basically caused me to relapse, pretty heavily, after I worked for years to recover. I was real proud of myself for that too, and now it's all back and worse than I ever thought it could be, and to say it sucks is an understatement, especially seeing how quickly everything fell apart. Like damn, all that effort I put in to get better, and it fell apart like a chocolate teapot on a hot day. Makes me feel pretty pathetic, honestly. (But I'm still going! I still have flowers, which is something, I think. It's a little silly, but I always think that if we have flowers, I think it's proof the world isn't totally falling apart. It keeps me going, at least.)

I bring this all up to explain why I might be offline a lot over the next few weeks. Because it all fell apart on Shuu's birthday last year, I'm anxious about this year. It's like, what if it all happens again, or whatever, what if X thing happens, or X thing, and then cue a spiral of invasive thoughts. So, I'm pretty desperate reclaim this day for myself. But I get the feeling I might be unable to be on Tumblr the actual birthday, because this is where everything happened. I will try, I promise, but if I feel too overwhelmed, I will just schedule any posts I wanna make and chill on my other social media instead. (all my socials are in my Carrd!)

In other news, I hope everyone had a good valentine's day. I bought some roses for myself. I don't like Valentine's day, it feels so cheap. I think that love should be celebrated everyday, not just one random Tuesday in February. But maybe I'm just salty, because I have never had a Valentine.

I will try and be more active, but as I say, my brain is sort of in ED-mode right now. But I'm genuinely trying. It's one of my OC's birthdays at the end of the month, so I will try and come back for that, at least. I'm working hard on my fics too. Hopefully soon I will have something worthy of being posted...Ahah.

So yeah. Just a wee lil baby update post from me. I'll try to be a little more active, so at least I can give it my all on Shuu's birthday, properly. C u later my friends.

#long post #semi-rambles #gunk #personal gunk #slight personal tw #tw personal #tw ed #tw sh #tw relapse #tw sh mention #tw relapse mention #tw sui mention #tw ed mention #shuu gunk #shuu birthday 2023 #british people love to queue #queue

[bunchofdoodlesinspace]

19, 25, and 27 for that ask game.

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

Oh god. I have no idea when it started KJFKL I feel like I've always liked writing honestly. it sort of goes hand-in-hand with my art journey. I'd make characters, draw the characters, and I'd have stories for those characters too. It's so rare for me to make a character design without SOME amount of lore being made for that character. It's almost inevitable.

Of course there have been bumps. Creative projects when you're a full-time student are, for lack of a better word, a pain in the ass to manage. NSN has been on a sort of impromptu hiatus for several months because of how busy university has been, and I'm always kinda sad when I think about it. But I couldn't handle both at once and the last thing I want to do is cause myself burnout. There are a lot of projects like NSN that I never completed or went through with because they were too big of a project for this little ghost to handle on her own on top of life stuff. I don't think I've ever really figured out how to not get over-ambitious with stuff, but I'm trying to make things easier for myself. At least a little.

Which actually kinda ties back to NSN again, honestly. I haven't posted any updates in ages, but I am actually working on occasion in the background on more solid planning for future pages. My plan is to have a strong foundation to build off of when my free time opens up more again. Can't say much about what I have in-store for it, but hoo. I am Excited.

And I have a few other lil ideas floating around in my head too for when I have time and resources. I mean, I do have this Whole Ass Country sitting here, and I think at some point I'd like to talk about what's been going on with That outside of the rps I've done with the characters that inhabit it. Not sure what that might look like yet, but. :) Perhaps

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

OH I AM SO FULL OF SO MANY OF THESE. I'm just gonna list a few faves because they're so fun (some of them I've def told some of you already, but have yet to subject the whole of tumblr to them):

-Fred is (was?) double-jointed somewhere in his hands. And he did, in fact, use this ability to freak people out. -Magician can do the tongue-flick thing reptiles like snakes and lizards do to get a feel for the space they're in. He often does it subconsciously in a new area, and it's so fast that it is near impossible to catch him doing it. -Also he can unhinge his jaw, have fun with that mental image :D -Xander has some of the best understandings of how intense periods can be despite never having had one, because one of his vampiric abilities is to be able to pick up on heavy bleeding.

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Oh dear god I could almost make a list for this too tbh. I think as of recent, though, Corrupted!Cupcake is uh. Definitely up there. Since I don't think I've talked about this on tumblr yet: she was used as part of an rp I've been doing focused on her backstory (which I rambled a bit about here). It's funny, because I also loved playing her, but oh dear GOD the rabbit hole of angst that spawned from that was insane (to the point that one of my friends who was also participating had to message me to make sure I wasn't about to permanently destroy the relationship Cup had with one of her characters. We were treading THAT kind of territory). I don't think I've been so stressed and excited at the same time playing a character in ages.

#answered #illyriashade56 #cupcake rambles #I should talk about the ones and zeroes plot here more some time #bc it has been. a Wild Ride

[jeysbvck]

I definitely have a similar problem. I haven’t written a fic in YEARS and I’ve only ever done a couple one shots. I really want to get back into it because I have ideas but I have zero confidence. Is that idea too similar to existing fics? Is it too weird/ooc? Does anyone even want to read that character anymore? And I know this isn’t helping you, but Idk I guess I wanted you to know that I understand where you’re coming from. Also I love your writing and you’re definitely someone I look up to on Tumblr.

honestly i hadn't wrote a fic in years for that exact reason! my first dip back into writing was this year, and as much as ive fallen back in love with it, its still stressful and scary! ive got ideas that i don't wanna write bc there's better fics out there with the same idea and im scared of being accused of copying! i also don't know whether to start doing OC x character fics bc idk if people are interested in non reader & as much as i write for myself (i have wips that i have no intention of posting right now), it's silly to think that no writer is gonna feel a bit defeated if their work doesn't get interactions!

i really hope you post your one shots, and that you come here and let me know so i can read them, bc i love it when people finally get back into what they love, and i try to be as supportive as possible!

i am going to go cry now bc that means so much to me🥺🥰 you say it doesn't help, but knowing that its not just me overthinking everything does help, & knowing that you like my fics helps even more, especially when my brain isn't being too kind!<3

i'm so grateful that you read my fics, and i can't believe someone looks up to lil old me and my lil old chaotic mess of a blog<33333

#shan speaks #will never tire of getting sweet anon messages #or sweet messages in general

[feelsofhiraeth]

@algizkali​ : you followed me, but i followed back for the amazing writing, but stays for the p.... i can't the same to ur name bc it just says pol-ussy. that's so unfair. ok that being said. i followed back bc of the amazing writing. i stayed for the amazing person behind the writing. i stayed for the amazing friendship that's come from meeting you. someone i can be completely open with, talk about absolutely anything. have you noticed we don't even talk about rp that much anymore? we're always talking about life, mythology, tarot cards, crystals and whatever else is going on. i confide in you, and you are truly one of my closest friends on here. i'm glad you took the chance to follow me, bc i probably would have never followed you first, i saw you writing with mob for a while before you followed me and i was always like *sigh* look how good they are. your ocs are amazing, reina best girl. i always have muse for our lil lesbians. todo and carletta are literally my otp for her. im not even playing. i didn't not expect her to have a boyfriend but god damn, he's her other half. would have never thought about it if you didn't bring that wonderful idea to the table. you are another one who sees through the bullshit, and really does always understand where i'm coming from. when we have little disagreements, we handle them like full blown adults. not like 97% of the rpc. we just get each other, and im happy to help you through your spiritual journey as well. we can talk about anything and everything, and your anya is absolutely perfect. a little hellion. your characterizations are amazing, and i always just- 'ye that tracks.' when you post a headcanon. you are just a wonderful individual and i'm thankful to have met you, thank you for being my friend.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF MY BLOG !

we actually don’t and that’s so funny bc i don’t remember the last time we ever actually spoke about a rp???  we just talk absolute nonsense most of the time and that’s even more fun than only talking about threads or tumblr bc that can get a little tireing but i never feel tired talking with you!!!!  also ngl i think it took me a whole day to pluck the courage to follow you i was a coward fr.  IT WAS THE SAME FOR ME LMAO I SAW U WRITING WITH MOB AND WAS LIKE WHAT IF I FOLLOWED SPACE... and i did after a day of gathering the courage wriuhfwerg.  AND REINA, AHH never forget her trying on ahmya’s dress and ahmya getting hearteyes, we love the gays.  and todo and carletta... i deadass suggested it bc i thought it would be so funny and it actually is but it’s also very cute when you take away the memes, you’d think he’d act all romantic and lovey dovey with his gf but todo acts like his gremlin gf’s bestie bc she’s more chaotic than him and there can’t be two unstable people in this relationship can there? NO and i love him for that.  you’re also very right i remember that 1 disagreement we had and you were flabbergasted when i apologised sincerely and explained myself i often think back on that and giggle because that’s honestly how people should resolve their issues.  ILY SM OKAY I WILL BE UR FRIEND ALWAYS!!!!!!

#general / answered #algizkali #when u sent this i almost passed out #theres more i wanna say but my brains broken #but i can express my undying love to you any day of the week on discord IUHFEGFU

[mer-se]

(Part 1) Hey! I love your photos and blog so much that I’m anonymously embarrassing myself here. Thing is do you have any tips when starting out? Having my work be seen etc. I don’t have a big platform. When did you start your photography work? Hey I know that I’m on anon so that is a contraction but my page and work is far from ready but I’ll messge you off anon when it is..

I appreciate that so much thank you. I’m not sure I started taking pictures in like early middle school days, maybe even earlier. My dad took a lot of film photos when he was younger and did all that dark room stuff, he has boxes of pictures and I think it’s cute that I can see similar styles in his photos and mine. I think it’s always just been in me. I was the friend taking pictures of everyone at every after/school event (I have some veryyyyy old photo albums it’s cool to look back on because I’m like damn I was the same person back then haha) I had (and broke) several digital cameras as a kid/preteen) but I didn’t get my first dslr until I think 2007?

I had my first film camera gifted to me during this time, too. Which is a whole other love. I immediately started advertising myself on Craigslist (idk how I’m alive) and did a few jewelry/portrait/wedding/engagements shoots as a teen and that was pretty cool and huge for my age and experience level looking back. I’m like damn, I did pretty well for myself as a dumb 17/18 yr old. I’m trying to work my way back into that now actually, slowly this time though. Bless all those people who gave me a shot and believed in lil ol me then. Lots of cool memories from that time period but it’s wild to me that I did that.

Anyway. I’m not sure on tips aside from ones that are personal to me because I don’t know what kind of photography you’re into? One of mine is like don’t take ten pictures of the same thing because it’ll make you have a mental breakdown when all of them are good but subtly different and you can’t pick one - but that’s me - I also have ocd and that helps nothing. When starting out that’s probably a good idea though to learn angles and lighting. Take pictures of everything. Learn your own personal style, everyone’s is different even if it’s similar, we all see different things. Learn your camera, learn about lighting and how to edit eventually. If you want to shoot people there’s a huge social aspect so you can work on that. There’s things I don’t even know after 100 years because the technical side doesn’t rly do it for me, I just run on intuition and vibes. We’re all always learning still. Its ok! I don’t have a large platform either especially on here, half my followers are deactivated - it’s dying out on here and I also won’t be on here eventually all together. But if you’re talking about notes/likes I’d suggest tagging your pictures! I find it kinda embarrassing but it’s necessary if that’s what you’re after.

That’s something I actually struggle with because I don’t worry about that stuff much, especially on here. I’ve never cared about that sort of validation, tumblr and instagram even facebook have always been just a photo diary to me - everything’s a diary haha. Even if it seems I overshare I’m really actually not? I’m super private and things make me uncomfortable. (I don’t share my writing either..) Notes are never why I post or even take photos it’s all very personal to me, there’s a deep private love there for me that I can’t put into words but! It’s ok to care and when you want to switch over to working with the public and getting back/into freelance photography (which I do, and maybe you will too someday) advertising is absolutely important, it’s hard for someone like me that finds it extremely cringe to self promote/overly tag everything because that’s never been my vibe or why I do it but I’m slowly working on it because I have to - it’s sort of a large mental obstacle for me. But don’t worry about that right now. Don’t get caught up on things like that honestly, it doesn’t mean anything. If people see and appreciate your pictures that’s lovely but there’s tons of reasons why you may not get notes that mean nothing to the quality of your pics. I see posts circulate with 10000 notes of a blurry eyeball and see an incredible picture of something with 5 notes. On tumblr notes mean nothing, don’t let it influence anything. You’re just starting out and your work is for you right now, and in my opinion it always should be in a way. Give it time. I post way more on my Instagram than here and my account is private, like I said I’m working on that aspect myself still haha. I am working on a different account though and slowly a website! So yes keep at it, and yes tag away, can even pin your posts even if it feels embarrassing - not everyone sees it that way, promise.

Don’t stress just do your thing. Find other photographers on here. But I wouldn’t really worry about tumblr too much, there’s other and better sites to get your work seen.

#this is stupid long #and sorry it took a couple days I’ve been a bit unplugged from the interwebs

[magicboobiess]

Preface. This is a draft I had sitting for a while in my tumblr. I totally forgot I wrote this and I would just like to say that I’m posting it in its original format. Spelling mistakes and all. I will say I never did find out what exactly happened this night and I never did bother going back to this strangers home to gather my belongings. This is just my way of coming to terms with this whole situation ultimately. I wish I could say I had a realization or breakthrough, but there’s simply just a blank space in my mind about this. I’m better for it now but I do find myself being more careful who I associate with, and I don’t go home with strangers anymore.

**trigger warning SA**

So this is the only place I know I can write this down without anyone really seeing this or whatever. So I’ll start from the beginning and work my way to the meat of it. I have reason to believe that I might have become a victim of SA.

So it started when I was on my way home from this restaurant. One of my friends called me and asked me to join them at this bar we both love to go to. I agreed since I didn’t really have anything else going on that night and I love going out and socializing. So I get to the bar and I meet up with my friend and her other friends happen to be there as well.

I was very tired at this point since I’d been working so many hours and shifts at my job. So I’m sitting with my friend and her friends and it’s going good. Then all of a sudden one of the girls sitting at the table looks over to me and asked me a question. For context I had gone to a house party with the friend I met up at the bar.

So the girl overheard me saying that I had gone to the house party. She then proceeded to ask me if I had seen her at the party. I honestly do not remember having seen her so I just get quiet and say “umm I’m sorry I just can’t remember”. To which I thought she’d just drop it and let it be. To my surprise however she responds with “well good I didn’t see you there either!” Coming at me with this nasty energy.

So at this point me and my friend both agree to go inside and get another drink. I’m feeling frazzled and at this point not welcome by that girl. So we go back inside and get our drinks and my friend sees someone she knows. So she’s like “hey I’ll meet you outside I’m gonna talk to my friend.” I say ok sure see you outside. So I go back to where her friends were and I tried to talk to them but I just felt like I was being given the cold shoulder by group.

I’ve always been the type of person that If I don’t feel welcome somewhere I just leave. So after a while of just sitting at the table I just go find a quiet corner to smoke my cigarette and drink my drink. The group then leaves and I’m just left feeling ostracized, but it’s whatever these things just happen.

Anyways that interaction is what leads on to the rest of the events that transpired that night. Side bar. I have a lil tarot app on my phone that I like to consult and refer to when I need guidance and answers to questions that are beyond me. So I ask a simple question “should I just go home”. I do the Tarot reading and the cards comeback saying “yes”. So at this point I’m telling myself yeah it’s probably time to go home.

So me wanting to finish my cigarette and drink move to another table. I end up sitting at an empty table with one other person there. As soon as I sit down they introduce themselves and say “hey wanna be friends?” I say yes (being the naive person I am). We’re chatting and stuff and eventually he offers me a tequila shot which I say yes to. After the shot they let me know that they work at this other bar across the street and they can get me free shots the rest of the night. So wanting to forget that interaction with the friend group I had I say sure.

We get to the other bar and I end up taking about 5-6 shots in total. At the end of the night I’m pretty much intoxicated to the point where I can’t walk in a straight line or anything. So this person tells me they live down the street a few blocks away. So I say “if you can drive us there I’ll go with you” so I give them my car keys and then we walk back to my car and head over to their place.

After that I have no recollection of what transpired. All I remember is me laying in bed with them and giving them a quick peck on the lips then after that all is in fragments. I do remember vividly feeling like they were touching me and taking off my pants and them just touching my whole body. I think I was just trying to play it safe and give them what they wanted since I was at their mercy at this point but I remember just wanting to go home but not being able to come to my senses due being so intoxicated. After that I only remember them walking me to the restroom and I somehow was missing my shirt.

Then I think I must have fallen asleep. I woke up a few hours later and something inside me just told me to leave this place and go home. So I frantically get my bearings and exit this persons home. Before I left however I did see that they didn’t have any pants on and were just laying naked next to me (I could see they had their penis out). At seeing that I knew I had to get out. I didn’t want to risk waking them up so I abandoned both my glasses and my boots then went straight to my car. Only to realize I had forgotten my car keys.

So I go back inside once more stumbling all over and thankfully find my keys. As I’m starting my car however I start throwing up and heaving. Afterwards I compose myself and just start heading back to my home. I must have been in a panic since I do remember cutting through the neighborhood and just speeding past the stop signs.

As soon as I got home I just laid on my bed and went to sleep. The whole next day the persons scent just lingered on me even after two showers and it didn’t help that I had a screaming hangover and work that same day. I’ll be honest and say that I haven’t really had time to process what exactly happened but I don’t think it was good.

#journal #diary #confession #realization #cant remember #acceptance #life #thoughts

[bysaber]

ummmm HIYAAAAA, is this SABER??? im jkkk , im so loving the new theme, im like vibing with it so hard you have no idea. the colours really compliment each other. im like so so so so sorry I haven't been in touch, I had so many ASSignments to do that my screen time became a mere hour and that was like catching up with my family. but lemme just say I just read/reread every single ficmas post today and mmmmh with a little cup of tea ( I kept going back for more bc your fics are so comfy to me) by my side it totally soothed me. and I just wanna say if anyones disappointed in you for dropping something that made you feel stressed and anxious , TRUST!!! , they can come fight me anytime of the day bc im DOWNNN. im so happy and honestly proud of the 15 days you accomplished because when I say that they were all beautifully written like , im NOT LYING and I could never, I have so many ideas in my head but honestly scared to even write a single paragraph and publish it bc I am my own biggest hater and critic. anyways I don't mean to put the spotlight on me but rather show you that im not just saying this for the sake of saying but I truly do mean it. Also Im not really accustomed to work without holiday since I haven't begun working yet but isn't Christmas like a worldwide holiday, and they still didn't give you a holiday???

also I just realised I never really introduced myself, i have like this thing where I never interact with my blog because it doesn't have much reblogs or works bc im like one of those kids who got introduced to the concept of the internet at like their late teen years so it took me a while to figure out how this app works or any app for that matter (yeah so like opposite of an iPad baby, we exist! ) so I think ppl might find me suspicious.. idk there's something wrong with the way I think haha.

but I totally would LOVVEEE to be mutuals with you, if you'd like the same.

this must be so much to read, sorry I went a lil overboard but yeah all in all, cant wait for all of your future upcoming pics which I know will blow my mind again and again and again. ( also I don't want this to seem like im putting pressure on you to release fics faster GOD NO, I just mean like I could wait an eternity if it means I could read your work!)

so wish you the ultimate best, saber, I hope everything is well in your life both personal and work and if not, I hope it all turns out to be fine and all in your favour. >>>>>3333

HIYAAA BOO <3

First of all, you don't need to apologize for disappearing! Life is a pain in the ass sometimes and we can't dive into our fantasy world (tumblr), I TOTALLY GET IT!!! But I hope everything worked out for you and that now you have time to enjoy some free time!!!

(more under the cut)

My old theme was getting on my NERVES, I wasn't satisfied (hehe) with it but I'm really happy with this one. And I brought the true Saber to life. I'm glad you liked it <3 it'll probably stick around.

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT MY FICS MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!!!!! It's enough to make me want to keep writing because knowing one person appreciates what I write already makes everything worth it. I would LOVE to know who you are and become mutuals, and it's fine if your blog isn't filled with things.

At some point, I also was a "ghost" tumblr user.

Like, for years.

I guess I've been here since the SuperWhoLock era but only started interacting in the past three years -- then decided to create a new account and start again. I've been reading/writing fanfic as far as I can remember, but that was in my mother language and I had to gather so much courage to try it in english. But I'm happy I did. And I would love to hear your ideas and maybe see what you can write <3 it's never too late.

I'm with a few fics ideas including a series and I'm really looking forward to write them all, I hope you like them when the time comes!! And don't worry, I don't feel pressured at all <3

About my work!!! Yes, the holidays are worldwide as far as I'm concerned but since my job has a flexible working hours and it's remote, it sounds good but I actually never stop working. I work with advertising and we spend money to upload ads and even for every time someone clicks in our ads, so I have to check the data from time to time to make sure the incoming compensates the money we're spending. If not, I have to take it down and change the campaign 100% it's maddening

Ok now I feel like I TALKED TOO MUCH!!! I'm sorry. But thank you for your message and all the love you always give me, I have no words for you but I really really appreciate it every time you pop in my inbox <3 and please if you feel comfortable let's be moots.

#askaway #anon

[underhercovers]

I feel so bad bc I came across this at work, while on tumblr, but I didn't save the original post in anyway to credit the original poster, so my bad 😅😅😅

But anyways, this was a cute lil personality test, and I really enjoyed the lil journey to get my results, and I want to share.

🌞I definitely agree my personality type is light, I normally always choose to be positive, and even when I have my dark moments, I eventually always choose to go back into the light when ready.

🧚🏾‍♀️Looking at my innate personality, I really need to work on it, I agree with everything, but the only positive trait I see is "I'm so excited", bc I'm always looking forward to most things, but the rest of my traits I feel are my shortcomings. "I'm happy if you're happy" is part of the reason I struggle to be in the moment, if I feel like my vibe doesn't match the vibes of whomever I'm with, I can't truly enjoy myself bc I want their vibe to match, and I either feel like I have to fix what's wrong, or I have to bring my energy down to theirs, and I have to stop doing that.

"I'm a bit lonely", it's not that I can't be or do things a lone, it's just that I like sharing good moments with people, and making memories with them we can look back on fondly of, and this once again takes me out of the moment, bc I feel the need to share it with others.

"I'm not enough", I've been really feeling this lately, but I'm starting to realize I may have been getting lost in the sauce again, trying to prove my worth to others, which makes sense bc I felt like everything I was doing was a performance, and I now see it was, I thought I had improved my value to others, but that wasn't supposed to be the point, I was suppose to be improving my value for myself. I really want to feel enough for myself, so I can truly enjoy moments for myself.

"I'll do it!", I used to think this was a good trait, but honestly it's been doing a big disservice to me, most ppl aren't as consider it or as generous as I would like to imagine them being, and as much as I like helping and gifting, I really need to focus more of that energy on myself.

All of this was really good insight for myself, and I'm happy I got positive results for the most part, I will be definitely working on my lesser traits, although I don't feel bad I got them, I'm happy to be made aware of them so I can improve myself for myself, and that's what I choose to take away from it..😊🧘🏾‍♀️✌🏾💖

Here's the link for anyone else interested:

https://event.designexpo.org.tw/en/?mibextid=Zxz2cZ&fbclid=IwAR19ZNlTaNjagxP_T9Z-ILxGjuXcn2cxlxraA8n2FDKtcHAjkZQkzPDr6fQ

[pixel-bloom]

SIMS TAG

Ahhhh thanks for the tag @natolesims​ ^_^ I’ll tag @ashubii​ @mosneakers​ @payte​ and @ashubii​

What’s your favourite sims death?

Hmmm, drowning is classic but I was so shocked when the meteorite killed my sims in ts2, so let’s go with that one.

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Gotta go with MM; I tried Alpha back in the day but it just looks off in my game.

Do you cheat when your sims gain weight?

Not usually. I did have a pear shaped sim back in gen 3 of the insectas I fixed, but most of my sims keep their weight.

Do you use move objects?

Always.

Favorite mod?

I like SoL, but I’m looking into the other game enhancing mods...

First expansion/game/stuff pack you got?

Sims 1: Vacation, Sims 2: University, Sims 4: Seasons

Do you pronounce “live mode” like aLIVE or LIVing?

ALIVEEEE, like, “LETS DO IT LIVE”.

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

I don’t MAKE too many sims (I steal them all from the neighborhoods) but Ant was my favorite for a loooong time. Theo is my favorite currently :) They’re both entertaining to “play” the game with lmao

Have you made a simself?

Yeah but she’s been sitting for years in her sad house in Windenberg. I don’t play simself stuff, but sometimes I’ll dress her up for a simblr challenge.

What sim traits do you give yourself?

Cheerful, Geek, Goofball. I’m very basic.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

I don’t really have one...uhhhh, black!

Favorite EA hair?

I always use the city living hairs. Love the one ponytail with the braid on the side. I also love the Island Living hairs.

Favorite life stage?

I like my moody teenagers the best. The phases can be irritating but entertaining if I integrate it into the story.

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

Gameplay but I actually really like customizing lots. I’ll download a lot or redo an existing one.

Are you a CC creator?

Nah, I honestly don’t have time :(

Do you have any simblr friends/a sim squad?

I have some pretty awesome mutuals. I’m too MIA to be a part of a squad. Work, relationships, and life get in the way of playing sims lol. I’ve tried to join a general discord but I’m awful at using it.

What’s your favorite game?

Currently, Disco Elysium. Usually, Stardew Valley/Harvest Moon or whatever the current Zelda game is. (Actually I’m playing Minish Cap rn!)

Do you have any sims merch?

No T_T I might have in the past. I REMEMBER DISTINCTLY that I had the Sims 1 ONLINE but my mom and I didn’t understand how to set it up so she gave it away.

Do you have a YouTube for sims?

No, that sounds terrifying. I barely post on tumblr LOL

How has your “sim style” changed throughout your years of playing?

Hmmm good question. I think it’s less “basic NPC” (base game??) and a little leaning towards my own lil funky style. When I first replayed sims 4 again in 2020, I downloaded all the basic CC that was trendy (and kinda outdated). In 2022, I moved my save to a new PC and started over, so that helped.

What’s your Origin ID?

I do not know. I do not use Origin or any EA app for socializing/sharing

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Looking at my CC folder: simandy, clumsyalien, sentate, nolansims, and deetron.

How long have you had a simblr?

2020 I believe. Maybe a bit earlier but I didn’t post anything

How do you edit your pictures?

I used to have photoshop T_T (RIP) and used PSD and actions and EVERYTHING LOOKED SO GOOD. I lost access and I can’t bring myself to pay monthly rn. I miss it though, I hate the way my screenshots look now.

What expansion/game/stuff pack do you want next?

I’d honestly like packs to be refreshed. I’m not one to ask for new stuff...I think there’s enough stuff. We need things to work properly LOL

What expansion/game/stuff pack is your favorite so far?

City Living has gotten the most focus from me. It’s SO much fun to go thrifting, go to festivals, and I love apartments. I’m sure I’ll love Island Living but I haven’t gottten to explore it yet.

#text

[sacredglitch]

M, N, T, V??

rubs hands Let's go;

M - If I forgive betrayal.

I'm a very situational person, I love things given context to so I can really put myself into the shoes of it all. But for general sake, I'm gonna say no. I can't. I have had a lot of people come and go in my life and many have been because they've hurt me, and in lasting ways too (dare I say....traumatising ways?). So if I end up hurt in betrayal? I couldn't forgive them. Context would matter of course, but...from current outcomes, it's a no.

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

I treat them like family. Honestly, if they're that close to me then they're family. One thing I do wish is that I got it back though. The saying I was raised around was "Treat others how you'd like to be treated" and it's stuck to me now.

But I've also come to learn that other people don't seem to grasp that concept or they abuse that concept. Which I guess wouldn't be wrong in comparison to my family's act sometimes but it isn't how it should be.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

Hmm, can't think of five but I can definitely do three. First is definitely my boys, my lil homeslices Bud and Murf (dogs by the by). Everyday there's something new with them whether it be Murf trying to back talk my Ma, or Buddy barking at Murf for stealing his blanket, it's like watching The Odd Couple with them. But I love them so much, they bring a lot of joy into my life just by sitting in front of me and blinking xD.

I suppose another would be the friends that have stuck by me through a lot of shit. They're few and far between and I don't tell them enough I love them but I do, and I appreciate everything and anything they do or say to me. Even if it's just sending me a picture of a racoon with a caption "God gave one look at me and ran away" or some shit I still love it dearly.

The stinky lil men that I've fallen for in fandoms. They're a widespread of personality, looks, even species but the unbridled joy seeing them in media posts or even hearing their VAs or actors in other media makes me so fucking happy. Giddy leg kicks and all, baby!

V - 3 big dreams.

Transitioning. That's the biggest one. I've probably mentioned it before at some point but that's been my big dream, specifically getting top surgery, cause I'm tired of wearing bulky clothes along with a binder to hide my size. I wanna wear open shirts damn it! Alongside going on hormones and finally feeling comfy in existing but top surgery is the big one. Hate that I don't have much of a choice but to go abroad but there's plentiful doctors with amazing top surgery records that have caught my eye. I hope it's sooner rather than later.

I'm conflicted on saying a job, cause in my current state, that's a no bueno for even education but I hope to one day be stable enough for it. And my dream job is...it's a toss between something to do with computers like cyber crime or ethical hacking for business' firewalls and protection and blah, or paramedics. Two vastly different jobs but they've stuck with me for most of my life. They're both (if I take the cyber crime route) jobs I can say "I've done something to help others" instead of letting whatever stop me and waste my time while I'm still kicking. They'll both be something I'll be proud I did.

This is probably the most open I'm ever going to be on tumblr (past me would be shocked but proud it's not DA anymore) but one other dream is to function. I want to be able not to overthink or jump to the worst case for anything in my life. I want to be able to have that deep breath and move on technique work for me and allow me to continue past whatever may have faltered me for a moment. I'm tired of getting upset over the littlest things, tired of thinking I'm disposable (despite much evidence in my past supporting it but the past is the past), tired of not understanding why I can't keep a hold on most things, and just tired of not...meeting what I should be meeting at my age?

There's no one pressuring me, no one hurting me, no one causing any of this but the silly little chemicals in my brain. And, currently, without supports in both friends/family and professional (because thanks HSE for telling me I'm "doing too good for their services") I'm just...not functioning. And it's tiring and irritating and just...

It shouldn't be a dream but it is. And that's one I'm striving for the most to happen ASAP. Because I can't deal with the lack of functionality I have anymore.

The list did say brutal honesty and damn did I get brutally honest at the end.

Anywho-

#LONG POST #This went from doing a funky lil ask to me screaming to the void #thanks tumblr #if it's not you patting me on the head then it's tiktok calling me out on wtf is going on #but it feels good to get off my chest too #wouldn't have rb'd if I wasn't prepared

[visible-buttholegirl]

another non-sensical stream of thoughts

oh helloooooooooo. it seems i haven't posted a text post on here in a little bit. well i have some thoughts in my head so i'm just gonna let my mind run wild.

uhh some cool things that are happening would be that i got a new computer the other day! its a new MacBook Pro, so it basically destroyed my bank account but its okay. i'm gonna create so many new graphics and also the music i've mentioned before. i'm gonna really get into it now that i have a more capable machine. it makes me so happy 🥲 also my friend and i are taking a trip to New York soon! i desperately need a break from the mundanity of my life right now, i think it will be good to be somewhere else and just mind my business and have fun! kind of reset myself and then hopefully when i get back i'll be creatively fueled and motivated to make some positive changes in my life. i want it for myself so badly and i deserve it dammit!! i'm a hottie and i need to get it together so i can achieve ultimate hotness.

speaking of hotness, i see some fuckin BABES on here!! not like the porn images or model shots that i reblog lol but like real people on Tumblr that are cuties 🥰 i want to be that. i wanna be a cute gay on Tumblr. i kind of love that if i post something here it will get maybe 2 notes and its just me vibing. and all the other cute lil gay men vibing. much nicer than Instagram imo and better than Twitter cuz there's none of the ugly news. its like just for me and the other gays. i like that.

i've been talking to this guy on Grindr a little bit here and there, he's cute, definitely my type, and a little bit older which i honestly really like! not like OLD just a couple of years older than me. i prefer that i think. anyways he hasn't hit me up in a day or two and that bums me out, i hope i haven't screwed the pooch, i just hate texting and would rather meet in person and talk then. it does seem like it could be more than just a hookup if we both want that, but i guess we'll see. hopefully my next post will be me talking about what a nice time i had with him (or someone anyways LOL).

i yearn for things like walking around with a honey, hand-in-hand! we just got dinner and are full and laughing and talking as we walk down the street, perhaps looking for our next destination, for a delicious drink. maybe play some pool (i win) or maybe the arcade bar or dancing if they're playing a good set. then at the end of the night when we're all boozy, we go back to my place, snuggle with a movie, maybe have a snack, or just chill out! maybe make out or you know... something ELSE 👀 then fall asleep together. ahh so beautiful and gay. can't wait for that. i love being perceived as a gay. okay bye bye gotta go read yaoi.

#me