#just felt weird and out of place

[awakefor48hours]

I’m gonna be a little controversial and say Wish was actually a good movie.

#if you’re reading this you probably want to know more about what I mean #and I want to start off by saying what happened on screen for wish was awful #this confused me because to make wish after movies like Encanto and RATLD #just felt weird and out of place #so I looked at the what happened behind the scenes #and it seems like wish was another an unfortunate byproduct of #big corporations shoving their noses where they don’t belong #because from what I was able to gather #wish was supposed to be a love letter to Disney #and the 100 years it’s given us #and the fact that it was supposed to be 2d not 3d was the first biggest cop out to me #then you have star to take into account #and I was reading through some of the original art #and the other giant cop out is that star was supposed to be a humanoid character #but I can see the dollar signs that appeared in Disney’s eyes when they saw star #and made star a merchandisable character instead of a human #I’ve read/seen some good art of people trying to think of other ways that wish could’ve gone #and all the art is amazing #which shows to #me that without capitalist greed #and just true love and effort #wish could’ve been phenomenal

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

After months of research and development and market testing and perfecting the first item I feel confident selling online, I have realized... that it is an incredibly niche item that only a specific subset of absolute nerds would want to buy, and I will have to do a ton of explaining the basic idea over and over again before people generally get what it is I'm even selling. RIP me

#this is like the time I spraypainted a bunch of screw heads gold #because I was putting up gold spraypainted shelf brackets and wanted these black screws to not stand out #and to make it easier I took a piece of thin cardboard and cut a series of Xes in it #then pushed the screws in a little bit and positioned it over the gap between boards on the back deck #and used my hammer to just plonk those screws into place so I could spraypaint them! #i felt so clever I posted a video of it #(gold spraypaint makes me feel giddy and childlike) #and everyone was like #“GIRL NO YOU CAN'T DO THAT DON'T TRY TO *HAMMER* YOUR *SCREWS* INTO A DECK!” #it took like. so much work to try to explain to people why this was a problem I wanted to solve #much less the mechanism by which i solved it #my brain is just. HIGHLY WEIRD SOMETIMES

[ineffectualbookseller]

but like... think of the implications of Gabriel being so quick to drop all connections to heaven after a few years of knowing Beelzebub. He has been heaven's #1 guy for all of time but he was given a gift by a demon and he's ready to abandon God for hell

demons may not trust each other but at least they have a common enemy, a shared trauma. But what do the angels even have keeping them together? They have been left so lonely and devoid of kindness - the structure of heaven honestly seems like it'd crumble under the weight of a feather

#neils out here talking about how much furfur would do for a kind word but heaven is exactly the same #gabriel abandoning gods plan felt so weird to me on my first watch but... now it just sort of feels like forshadowing #just as important of a signal as muriel's loneliness #I wonder if the metatron realizes... #thinking about Aziraphale craddling that boys tumor and how much power that softness could have in a place like that #good omens #good omens spoilers

[welcometogrouchland]

I feel like for the first few years of guardianship Darius and Hunter really struggle to figure out how to refer to each other.

Like it's easier for Hunter, he pretty quickly settles on "guardian" for explaining their relationship to other people and just referring to Darius by name when talking to the man himself. Overtime the phrasing gradually warms, becoming "foster parent" and eventually, once Hunter's already an adult old enough to move out, "Dad".

(Sidenote: he doesn't move out til he's in his mid to late twenties, bc he's under no obligation too, Darius low-key doesn't want him too, and the two of them want to make up for lost time in a sense, since Hunter only had 2 years of legal dependency on Darius before aging out of the system. Darius adopts Hunter retroactively as an adult)

Darius on the other hand has a real conundrum on his hands for those first few years. He has a lot of options! But "ward" is too formal and makes it sound like Darius picked him up off the street like after his parents were murdered, "apprentice/student" isn't really accurate considering the focus of Darius and Hunter's relationship has less to do with Hunter learning magic and more to do with Hunter being housed and fed. "Kid" and "foster son" are there...but...

Look, Darius isn't going to refer to Hunter more familiarly than Hunter refers to him! He's not gonna make it WEIRD. He's not a dad, because Hunter doesn't want/need him to be (and also parenthood is scary <3). Darius doesn't know the first thing about being a dad, despite how his friend group teases him.

Eda and Eberwolf are the two who are worst about it. They torture him with how 'fatherly' he's allegedly being (allegations Darius will DENY til his GRAVE!!!) And Eda specifically compares his journey to hers, saying it always starts off with you referring to them as your apprentice (again, Darius doesn't plan on doing that), as your roommate (...kinda weird in Darius' opinion? But okay Eda), or even your pet (????HELLO???). But eventually, they always become your dumb kid when you least expect it.

She's had a couple cups of appleblood by this point, but Darius knows on some level she's right and he's steadfastly ignoring that fact, even as Eber continues to refer to Hunter as his "cub" (kinda cute but Darius doesn't know how Hunter would feel being compared to an animal). The only people who are even remotely reasonable about all this (besides Lilith who's a bit disinterested in kid talk) is Raine and Alador, who both sort of neutrally, a bit awkwardly refer to Hunter as Darius' Boy.

Darius referring to Hunter as "my boy" is funnily enough what sticks the longest before it evolves to son boy. Hunter's crushing it at a derby match? Darius is whooping and cheering, yelling "THAT'S MY BOY!!!" At the other parents in the stands. Hunter is doing something dangerous or inadvisable where others can see him? "Darius, your boy-" "AHH! MY BOY". Hunter, a year into his stay with Darius finally comes clean about everything to do with him being a grimwalker, and is afraid that he's going to go back to seeing him as just an inferior replacement for Darius' beloved mentor? Darius (who has just had to process some of the most bonkers, emotionally heavy information in his life) gently, hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder (the 'good' one Hunter doesn't mind people touching), and says that Hunter's much more than that. He's Darius' Boy and he's not going to kick him out or get angry or love him any less for things out of his control. It's good. They're good.

Like I said, it evolves over time and 'boy' becomes somewhat obsolete as the two get caught up in the joy of finally feeling able to explicitly refer to each other as family. But unlike "guardian" or "ward" the word never gets fully retired. Even when Hunter is 30 and is arguing that he's more of a man than a boy now, he is still getting referred to by Darius as "his boy", the way some parents never really stop calling their adult kids baby or kiddo (Camila and Eda respectively btw).

Hunter makes one of those corny matching shirt sets at some point for a father's Day gift when he's 17/18, where the two shirts say "if lost, return Boy to me" (Darius) and "I'm Boy" (Hunter). Hunter mostly did it so he could own a funny shirt that says "I'm boy". Darius openly weeps upon seeing them. Like Oh my Titan he's boy. He's my boy. Oh wow

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #darius deamonne #dadrius #made this instead of finishing my dadrius week day 1 comic. it's okay i have time #i think this post dips it's toes into being one of those 'part writing drabble/part textpost analysis' posts #which I'm okay w/ tbh i love those #i just hope it reads well #the important thing about dadrius + eberwolf to me is that it's just as unlikely a trio as King Eda and Luz are #just as weird and has just as gradual and retrospectively funny a journey as them #i also specified foster parent instead of adoptive parent just bc i read it in a fic once where Hunter was placed in isles foster care- #-post canon and he had a social worker who was a gargoyle named Chantelle. it was delightful #this is my homage to that. the fic was 'the titan laughs in flowers' i think (thank you user yardsards for the rec) #alador still gets the instinct to refer to Hunter as the golden guard and amity gets on his case about it #so referring to Hunter as darius' boy grew out of that and spread to raine who finds it kind of adorable #darius refers to hunter as his foster son for the first time when his (darius' i mean) family comes to visit #not as like a statement of anything they don't deny Hunter as a deamonne. they love him like they love a scraggly cat #but just like. it felt right for Darius in the moment and Hunter got emotional about it #anyway happy early dadrius week I'm rotating them in my mind I'm biting down on them like a chew toy etc etc

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

have i mentioned how great cats are. there's a lil guy in my house and when i lay my head on her side she starts purring so hard <3 and ten seconds later she will try to open my wrist with her teeth <3 truly the best <3

#shes just a silly goofy little guy..... #miss war crimes.... mister menace... bastard... her royal highness <3 #she holds all of these titles And More #no ones doing it like her!!! #she eats spiders & makes funny noises that instantly Boosts my criminally low happy chemicals #sorry i looked at her for too long and was once more overcome by a strange emotion i believe some call love #affection? delight?? all three.... #and i Had to publicly post about her #i am very proud of my tiny fluffy friend & her general Existence. i must flaunt her #oh how horrible! a couple of tendons in my neck just rubbed together in a very terrible way #what the Fuck. i wish i could reach in there and pluck on em a lil. make sure theyre in the right places #felt that in my Ear.... #absolutely unprompted #oh speaking of weird things cause yall know i love to ramble and overshare #i think! i Hypothesize! that there's a slight.... Disconnect between my eyes #my depth perception is fine and i can See #but theres somethin fucky w my vision and focus #nothing is blurry! but it looks like it should be! i dont know how to explain it! #its like my quality of vision has dwindled but not in a way i can describe or really point out #but it Is slightly harder to read and like... See things? #its almost as if i have a few tiny blind spots. #i first noticed this happening after my terrible no good double-decker-migraine weekend #it very slowly got slightly better but then i had Another migraine the other day (ugh and a left brain one at that) #and im back to square one! my visions all fucky again! my peripherals suck! #in other news my house is. so warm. its 2 am. my shirt is toasty enough to keep tortillas warm #i hope everyone is having a good week #and if youre not! theres always the next one! and little delights sprinkled throughout! get yourself a tasty treat you deserve it!

[lavender-femme]

i miss getting all dressed up

🥀 men | minors | terfs do not fucking interact 🥀

#i have been having a really bad/weird body day so can y’all please hype me up #these pics are from almost a year ago but I looked so fucking good #someone give me a reason to get all dolled up again PLEASE #I’m talking #lavender.jpg #femme #lesbian #femme4butch #femme4stud #bodies like mine #because it is mine #and bodies like mine are fucking hot as fuck #these pictures make me a bit sad because they were taken at [redacted’s] house in nj and we had a date at the best Italian place #and the first Polaroid’s kept in my wallet are from that night #i think I’m ready to take them out though #i didn’t think I’d ever post pics from this time because it now just makes me so sad to think about and see #but I remembered how beautiful I looked #and how good I felt #and I posted them #so it means something

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport

set in a cyberpunk Calcutta-inspired city, loosely inspired by Aladdin

chaotic monkey bot who wants to fight in underground mecha/bot tournaments and leave to become a space hero

his human sister, the daughter of failed revolutionaries who has been working her whole life to free their city from oppression and inequality, especially with the recent rumors that their planet is scheduled for destruction

and an old unearthed bot whose function is to observe & record the story of a client who meets the siblings and quickly becomes involved in their lives

and a treasure hunt to find an old and powerful piece of alien tech that has the power to radically change their city

#The Jinn-Bot of Shantiport #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #I really loved this #a little robot with a big personality? TWO of them? im in. #The pacing is a bit weird - the first half could honestly be a contained novella. the second half is a bit all over the place #But I’m ultimately glad to have that extra more complex part of the story #it’s like very action packed with a few dense moments especially like the infodumps about what Lina / her mother’s deal is. #which kinda makes sense on a technical level (Moku learning this all at once) but also I definitely felt a bit confused at why/how some of #the stuff that was going on was happening #I did also find every now and then weirdly worded prose took me out of it? but I can look past that #I felt the side romance was random and weird. I felt like it did a disservice to her otherwise complex character to have her just forget #her goals and values because Hot Man? #idk. it’s lampshaded a bit by being viewed through the POV who also thinks it is weird and makes no sense #but they still get together again in the end…. I would have preferred if they didn’t. #that's mostly complaints LOL but the world is so rich and interesting and i love robots that are little shits (affectionate) #queer books

[allgremlinart]

OK. OK SO I'VE FIGURED IT OUT. GOOD TO KNOW.

#finally figured out why some branches of Azula stanism felt weird to me and it only took #seeing a post by someone who's username is literally a variation of 'radfem' #like ok. that makes sense. #*ubiquitous disclaimer I dont think every Azula stan is a radfem. I like Azula and im not a radfem lol #im just saying. some things clicked into place. for me.

[gobstoppr]

and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)

i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise

#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles #its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring #im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus. #theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny #actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters #idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me #anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too #and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys #and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male . #maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it. #guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things #i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just. #we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it. #you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week. #but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it. #i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff #but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me. #my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months. #but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy #i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play #all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good. #marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho) #i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often #uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying. #saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up #im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh #text

[13eyond13]

.

#every time I browse the manga section at my local big chain bookstore I give the DN manga and the Another Note novel a little pat btw #Especially the Another Note novel because idk it just feels funny that B is just perpetually hanging out there #On the shelf of a big chain bookstore like that... he's like my dumb little imaginary friend he doesn't belong in such normal places #You know what I mean #Anyways my absolute fave stuff has always felt like that to me #Like its weird to see it out in normal places being enjoyed in normal ways by other people instead of just secretly in my own mind #B is the epitome of that hes like this fandom's collective fever dream what do you mean anybody can just waltz into Indigo & read about B?! #It's almost like I want to buy it every time to rescue him from such ordinary and public circumstances hahaha #p

[marsosims]

when will i ever let the island living curls rest..

#probably never i fear #marso #i wanted to add like side bangs but it looked weird for some reason?? #idk it just felt a bit.. much?? #it looks kinda out of place #pls tell me what u think

[sysig]

Hard to ignore, harder to forget (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Jocasta #Sarah #I like how when I first saw Sarah and Jocasta I was like ''Oh they're so cute!'' and then immediate scribbled down Angst lol #They're great for it and I love angst <3 #This is not that but it is still very important lol - I tried out more of the hypnosis eyes like I said I would! #I do like green green is a good colour for it #I think the first one with blue turned out very cute on her! But I think green probably wins overall #I remember while I was drawing her collar undone I was like ''Wait......how does it attach in the first place'' #I posit an internal fabric clasp? Like just a strip of fabric that buttons on the inside like pants with hook-and-eyes lol #It looked weird if I left it looking like it sat flush without evidence of like a zipper or something lol #Maybe it's actually space magic clothes who knows lol #Anyway! #Mostly just spacing out - b'dm tss thank you thank you - bleary eyes to test the green in comparison and do some expressions #I was curious to draw something based on Jocasta going to kiss Sarah while she's fuzzed out but it felt incomplete to just do the one #I have no idea what's in or out of character tho haha ouq They did both turn out very cute in the chibi tho #Sarah's foggy confusion like ''? But...?'' aw #I always like to do the thing of matching eyes when people are actively linked up haha ♪ Shows the connection! #And then a spacefiller Sarah coming down from it - it's rough! Poor dear

[jutsuuu]

girl help I’m experiencing

#weird addendum but pls don’t reblog my vent posts??? why would you even want to???? #everything has been So Much lately and I wasn’t gonna vent but then I remembered this is my blog and I can do what I want #one of my best friends left the country last week and he’ll be gone for like two years and I’m so sad without him around #I mean he’s been messaging me every day since he left but it’s still hard not having him here yknow? #and I’m moving into his place but it requires a lot of work before I can so I’m always exhausted #and my joints have all but given out on me completely so I’m always covered in KT tape and braces #which doesn’t gel very well with moving furniture and heavy boxes #and I have no money so I need to be job searching but I can’t do that until I move. BUT I NEED MONEY TO MOVE #on top of that my grandpa died and there’s so much family drama involving that it’s unreal #and weirdly the thing I’ve recently felt bad about is I’ve been neglecting my self imposed Fandom Duties #maybe not fandom specifically but like. creative duties #I want to write fic. I want to draw. I want to read and comment on other people’s stuff #I also really want to do more of my non fandom writing because I want to get something published this year. but i got no good idea aaack #or early next year #and I’ve just had like. no time at all to do any of it and the time I have had I’ve been too drained to do it #ughghghghghghggh #I think today I will drink and try to write something. as a treat. #after I go on a reblog spree to bury this because emotions are very embarrassing #anyway how are you?

[joshuamj]

Redesign of Irida cuz I was bored and playing around with character designs is one of my fav things to do

Notes on the design:

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #irida #clan leader irida #pla #josh art tag #adaman had such a cool design but iridas was just kinda weird lookin ya know? #and adaman looked unique while still fitting in well with his clan #but irida looks out of place with her bright red #and like im fine with her like getting hot easily but she just looked a bit silly standing in the snow with that outfit... #like it def just felt like an excuse to put her in that weird tube top thing?? #so yeah i decided i wanted to give a redesign a shot! #is it actually good? idk and i dont really care it was just fun to do

[waterfallofspace]

Little mostly positive waterfall ramble/rant under the cut~ (warning, I do swear a lil haha~ and feel free to ignore ofc!~)

Finally got the dumb panic-induced false confidence nerve to tell one of my only two in-person (well, one province over, but USED to be in person till earlier this year) friends about The Kink. I've told a handful of internet friends before, but never an actual real life friend I might have to see in person one day.

He actually took it really well, my other irl friend (of 15 years, his girlfriend, known him only about 3-4) would not want to know, we just don't have that type of relationship, she doesn't have that comfort level, but me and him have always been able to have deep and honest talks~

I was. Honestly scared out of my fucking mind. We were in call, but I typed the messsage and then IMMEDIATELY deafened until he read it, but once I got back we had a good talk, he asked a few questions, we made a few jokes, and overall the mood didn't change at all.

I'm honestly always so worried people will think I'm getting off to them sn--zing every time... or anyone else who does... which, ofc, just isn't how it works, but he didn't even consider that. (and made a few joking-yet-honest comments that even if I did get off to him snzing, he wouldn't honestly care. Which knowing him, is completely true~)

Anyways, this is a bit of a random/personal thing to post, but I've been so deeply ashamed of this part of me for so long, and then only recently started feeling more comfortable, and I've been toying/struggling with the idea of telling him for almost a year now, so to finally do it, and get such a good response... honestly it just feels so good. I don't think anything's gonna change in our dynamic, or get weird in any way, and that fills me with so much relief. (and yes, he knows I have a tumblr, but he promised not to search for it thank GOD)

#waterfallrants #waterfallrambles #waterfallpersonal #thats not a tag but now it is! because this is my blog! and i can do! what i want! #actively using it as a journal at this point but you know what i dont care #im out of my mind right now- literally just got off call my heart is POUNDING #but he took it so well and was like 'oh- that's it??' #the only time he was like 'woah what thats a bit weird' was when i told him how long ive felt this way (since lil child) #but otherwise he was so supportive (in his own 'makes jokes about it but gives genuine comfort with them' way) #and honestly it feels. so refreshing?? that now he.... i guess TRULY knows me?? like- knows this side of me. knows ME me #idk guys please feel free to ignore this honestly might even delete it later idk but im just kinda exhausted in a good way #it was a good talk (liek we always have) and im honestly not sure why i was even so worried in the first place ToT