#just. somebody is always worrying.

[foryouramazementandconfusion]

fraggles will be like “worry’s for another day” and then, without fail, spend an entire episode worrying

#this isn’t even about boober specifically #just. somebody is always worrying. #life at the rock involves a concerning amount of near death experiences #fraggle rock #fraggles #muppets #back to the rock #etc etc

[uncanny-tranny]

Hey, if you have speech impediments, you are so amazing.

If you stutter or have a lisp or misspeak easily or you have a flat affect or a limited verbal vocabulary or if your voice is AAC or if you just have a difference in your vocality, you are so incredibly important and amazing.

Just know that your voice is yours. Nobody will ever be able to truly take it away. Your voice is part of you, and you deserve to make it as true to you as you deem fit. I hope you have the space to grow with your voice and whatever about it makes it unique.

#positivity #disability positivity #partially because so much of voical differences arise from disability #i've developed a really annoying lisp-ish issue #and it's hard to be positive about it because it makes me feel like i'll be treated as lesser because it's a 'childish' affect #but i literally can't help it unless i spend 110% of my focus on it. and i don't have that amount of energy #but it makes me think about others and especially those who have it more intensely than i do #and i just want to uplift everybody because vocal differences are neutral at worst #man my dad always tells a story about this coworker he had who had a stutter like you wouldn't believe... #...and he was fucking BRUTALIZED for it... 'c-c-c-c-CAN YOU GET TO THE POINT?!' is how people would talk to him... #...and obviously that made his stutter twice as fucking worse and i can't imagine the shame and humiliation that followed... #...i hope he learned that those assholes were a fucking waste of time and that he doesn't have to deal with that... #...like i'm sorry but there is no fucking need to be that sadistic toward somebody who is obviously already anxious and worried

[skunkes]

just realized the best way to word my fear and hesitation wrt letting loose with my art is. there's instagram commenters living in my brain.

#talkys #like i love drawing long necks -> just fixed that to make it look more realistic bc i get worried some bitch is #going to not realize art styles are a thing and make fun of me -> #god. i'd get comments like that all the time on instagram when id still post there #like why does his eye look like that xD is his leg supposed to look fucked up? etc #once somebody told me al looked like a pedophile. that's unrelated to my skill but that one is still always at the forefront of my mind. #god

[chrollohearttags]

my whole YouTube feed is filled with videos about the Stanley cup/Sephora kid thing and maybe bc I haven’t used tiktok in months but I’m so lost as to why everybody, including the kids themselves is being blamed for this problem lmao.

#there’s only one enemy and that’s capitalism/consumerism #not to mention the parents who think being an ‘ipad kid’ is cute and quirky bc they don’t want to raise their kids beyond the baby stage #like why are you mad at an influencer who’s job it is to sell a product for not monitoring if ur children are watching #that beauty influencer is not selling to them or for them #they’re a business + brand marketing to other ppl their age #people who can actually afford the products #not somebody who barely has lunch money less known 3 bands to drop on drunk elephant #like I have so many young cousins/kids in my neighborhood who are being brought up this way + it’s the internet’s fault always #not the fact that their parents don’t do anything #and what gets me is that somebody like me who’s made content online like cosplay/anime or even writing fanfic #has to worry about censoring myself for some brat I’m not even thinking abt #and it hurts creatives who are just looking for an escape #when I’m reality the only problem is that these parents are lazy and expect some random youtuber to teach their kids the things they refuse #it takes a village yes but at the end of the day that responsibility lies on the person who birthed them #I’m sorry #cherry chats 🍒

[arvoze]

you don;t get to learn about this one either (you will). if i tell you this thing is about death and murder you would have to trust me

#luwel #mike #my art #the only reason i never posted abt this one before is bc theres like. #a lot to work out. #its a murder mystery thing but the murder and mystery literally doesnt matter at all #and they both leave before the case even gets explored :sob: #its literally just abt mikes reaction to being in a dangerous enclosed space with somebody who he #cares very dearly about and doesnt know how to deal with it #bc he's been near death so many times and killed someone himself so he's like. #in an absolute nightmare realm. but he has to just liek . #unfortunately forces himself to put his own worries and stuff to the side #(luwel has not been anywhere as close to actual violence like mike has and detaches himself from reality to the point where he just . #thinks that everything is fake and a play and wants to get involved with solving it bc he wants to believe it's fake #and mike's like hey uh. no. this is real i Cannot let you out of my sight) #the last image is outdated btw its when his outfit was based on primarina instead of flapple #luwels was always based on serperior

[futura-starfield]

This little talk with Cora before the wedding ceremony made me tear up a bit...

#The fact that Cora knows her dad feels lonely always made me sad #She’s smart but she’s just a kid you know #She must have been worried that somebody might break her dad’s heart again #and now there’s another person who deeply cares about her besides Sam #I will protect her at all costs #starfield #starfield screenshots #sam coe #cora coe

[dustteller]

Yknow, I think this passage really captures how Ouyang views Esen, especially in contrast with how Baoxiang views Esen. Ouyang geuinely believes the best of Esen, he genuinely belives that Esen is good and pure and kind and that it's himslef that is taining him into being otherwise. And while Ouyang is right in that he's technically responsible for Esen’s current emotional state (he did very much kill Esen’s dad and frame his brother for it, that is very much a thing he just did), for once it isn't his fault for the everything else going on with Esen?

I do think Esen is generally good-natured, and tries to be kind and generous to those he loves, but it's very clear that Ouyang has reduced him to JUST that in his head. He only sees Esen’s best qualities as inherent to him, and all the bad ones are Ouyang's fault somehow. He blames himself for Esen not understanding him (because there's something wrong with him, and even when he's mad at Esen for not caring enough to notice certain things he justifies it in his head by making it about his own unmanliness or whatever and Esen is just to perfect for that), for any failure in battle (yeah you're the general but Esen also approved this hes your boss dude), and generally for any moment where Esen exhibits less than stellar behaviour/capacity/etc. When in reality, we have a lot of moments where Esen is just sort of a dick, many of which are pre-ouyang (courtesy of HWDtW wbx flashbacks, which, granted, are also biased but my point still stands). We see Esen's constant and usually unjustified frustration with wbx and sometimes Ouyang, we see him be dismissive of the things they tell him, in the pre-order reward its pretty much stated that he makes a habit of dumping Ouyang outside brothels for hours while he goes inside to get laid, in one of his first scenes we see how much he enjoys it when Ouyang spends the whole morning tormenting Altan (altho tbf he kinda deserved it, altan suuuccckkss), and in general Esen just kinda treats people like crap sometimes. He's snapish and short-tempered and stubborn and imperious, loves whining about stuff, and is a shitty brother and best friend. He's got a lot of good qualities too, like how he's one of the few people that treats Ouyang with respect and tries to treat him as an equal, how his first reaction when wbx is insulted is to come to his defense (even if wbx usually foils his attempts by immediately clapping back and storming off), how we see him recognize he gets frustrated witj wbx too easily and tries to hold his temper back, how he immediately self-sacrifices to save Ouyang from his dad, how even after thinking wbx killed their dad he does really want to forgive him.

My point is, Esen is trying, but he's a very flawed human being, and Ouyang just can't seem to grasp that. He looks at him with rose-colored glasses. And it's so interesting that amongst all the shitty things Ouyang has done (and this duology really just is Ouyang and WBX fuck up yuan dynasty china to truly Epic proportions), the one he feels worst about is the one that isn't actually his fault (sorta). He may have killed Chaghan and been the catalyst for Esen's emotional blow up, but he isn't responsible for Esen having the capacity to burn WBX's books. That was Esen's decision. He hasn't somehow manipulated Esen into an eviler, crueler version of himself by virtue of existing evil-y and eunuch-y and revengefully im his vicinity. Esen was always capable of this, even if we take out Ouyang's actual manipulations, and I think this whole I-tainted-hin mentality really encapsulates how fucked up their relationship and Ouyang's mental state are in general. After all, Ouyang doesn't feel bad about the murder, or the framing, and he feels guilt about causing Esen pain, but most of all, he feels absolutely terrible that he's shattered what he sees as Esen’s purity, which in reality is mostly just the pedestal he himslef put him on. Man, what a fucked up little guy.

#she who became the sun #man i need to stop being like heyy ill just post smt quick just a few sentences and then I'll sleep #it always ends up as a shitty 3am essay #also i need to re-emphazise how much he did not feel bad about the murder portion of this. #and how he felt even less bad about having wbx take the blame. #in his mind they deserved it! chaghan for killing his fam and also being a dick #and wbx for being annoying and understanding him too much. #which btw is another great example of how ouyang views himself bc somebody else being like him at all is an execulate offense in his mind. #he wants both wbx and zhu dead the moment he realizes they're like him in some manner bc that's what he would want for himself. #even the crime of understanding him is sacrilege and means the person is irredeemably tainted in some manner. #which is why paradoxically he can be angry at esen for not understanding him but also have it be his fault. #bc Esen cannot understand him bc if he did then that would mean Esen is also tainted #and as we have established Esen is NOT tainted. he is immaculate. practically the virgin mary (but with more wives) #and if he IS tainted its Ouyang's fault too bc clearly he did not come that way these are ouyang-cooties #so its a GOOD thing esen can't understand him actually you guys #man. what a guy. someone should put him in a cetrifuge and distill some extra virgin self hate oil or whatevef #(only in main canon tho in the preorder reward it'd be eau de self hate or something i suppose) #also if u wanna laugh imagine a crossfaded ouyang explaining this train of thought to an equally xfaded (and very confused/worried) xu da #general ouyang #esen temur

[dnangelic]

dark will always take up immediate issue with those who mock love or emotion as weak i think. irrational at times? sure, he can agree. sensitive, vulnerable? absolutely; inherently, (as a synonym for sincere,) but the moment someone starts legitimately calling love a weakness or an exposed vein only meant to be punctured and drained from, that's when he starts to get angry. dark, as someone who already bears an inherent callousness and apathy, who knows just how easy it is to be cruel, destructive and belligerent, always admires daisuke for the boy's heart and tender, stubborn emotion. like sugisaki's interview mentions, dark is likely someone who bears continuous witness to and understands just how much intense effort can go into someone doing their best in trying to be kind to others; he thinks that he himself never could, at least not even close to the same way that daisuke steadily tries to maintain. those that would mock or scoff at daisuke's, if not the overall idea of kindness, dark won't hesitate to snap at and call weak, pathetic, or cowardly in return. those who prey on others' feelings and scorn or abuse them aren't proving that kindness is a 'weakness;' they're only fouling good things that could have even otherwise been their own with their own 'malicious crap and garbage.'

#*･ﾟ⊰ 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐒. ⊱ ✦ › OUT. #reference. #this can get complicated bc like even if he chews somebody out he probably still won't start fighting them or anything #and there's still the part of him that doesn't really care how people live their lives for themselves #but at the same time. he recognizes that careless part of himself too. unlike daisuke who's always always showing compassion and worrying #for others' feelings and their safety #in the end ppl like this just remind him of krad who's always saying the same thing #emotion is a weakness feelings are a vulnerability so just never have anything ever. don't want anything don't do anything #for yourself. just repress and break and self destruct and let him control/manipulate everything #dark can't staaaaaand that. #it's not the love. it's YOU. anybody who twists and mucks things around. you're the weak one you're the scum #(and again. dark is the responsible one. he's the one who wants to always own up to his own shit) #daisuke isn't weak for his kindnesses because it takes so much -effort-. and he's always trying his best to focus on things important #and to meet them in whatever way he can. daisuke might admire dark for being capable and charismatic. cool and 'reliable' #but what dark doesn't say is how he admires daisuke for being so incredibly strong but still soft and -tender- as well #it's the same perspective as riku- 'he looks kind of wimpy but he's not weak. he always thinks about how he can do his best.' #even if dark can't be daisuke. the things that make himself up. things like love. sincerity. passion. things that make life worth living #dark will get hella defensive of things like that if you push the right buttons.

[witherfide]

no, I don’t think i’ll ever work a job that involves my art. just not interested! :] (the whole reason i became an artist was to receive any amount of praise from peers that i could. i want to break free from the ideology that people must like my art in order for me to be a good artist. i do not make art for monetary gain, i make it because it. makes. me. happy.)

#text post #idk what to tag this as hahaaa…. #my dad always says i should be a tattoo artist #working a job like that would give me the absolute worst anxiety #and that’s saying a lot for somebody like me #exact reason why i got tumblr #you don’t have to worry about followers or likes or anything #i just like to acknowledge my followers cuz it shows me that people like to hear what i have to say #or they just wanna be friends!! which is even cooler!!!

[graveyardmouth]

its that time of the night

#and the year. #really makes me feel like summer especially middle school and before #completely isolated from all my friends panic attacks every time the sun went down hiding from my mom trying to block out screaming as #best i could staying up til dawn drinking dr pepper stealing my moms books listening to my dads cds stealing chocolate chips and eventually #wine from the kitchen puking in the bathroom reading the perks of being a wallflower goinf out for bike rides in the early morning walking #to the library and collapsing on the way home cause i hadnt eaten in 2 days walking past the church holding a knife in one hand #biking because i just knew there was somebody waiting to kill me dying my hair three times begging for escape from the monotony making #friends on twitter and discord in bad places getting attention from strangers for my relationship with a razor blade staying up all night #for the quiet because i needed to be alone because i couldnt sleep to feel something besides numbness getting yelled at for keeping my room #messy and crying thinking about people knowing i was eating finding a book that made me happy and knowing that once i finished it id #return to awful numbing boredom nothing could fix god ive typed a lot #sorry im feeling nostalgic about feeling bad and summer has always been one of many low points in the year for me #anyways ✌️ #dw about me im actually in a really good place mentally rn i just. am worried for how long itll last #and quite scared about getting taken off my antidepressants tbh #bug shut up #delete later #Youtube

[robocops-a-christ-allegory]

Strategically dropping a vent post about my paranoia every 2 months so people don't start to think all my posts about how I wish Peacemaker still had psychotic symptoms are in poor taste

#this is a joke i dont do this i just #very often get WAY TOO CLOSE to sharing very personal #information about myself so I can talk about my strange headcanons without #worrying that people think Im fetishizing diagnoses and such. I think this is a baseless fear. #Also i dont mind if people still think those posts are in poor taste i will always say i #get why im the only person that still wants this. #GUNN MIGHT DO IT ALRIGHT. IF SEASON 2 ECER HAPPENS. #somebody get him off the superman movie and back in te peacemaker mines.

[uncanny-tranny]

The flags of countries are just pride flags for cishet people. Discuss.

#lgbt #lgbtq #lgbt meme #i always love when a fellow USian rags on about how much they hate lgbt pride flags when the fly a huge us flag on their truck #also why would you fly a flag from your truck i feel like that's just a needless hazard #sorry i have just seen that too much and i think this is just a USian thing atp #worried somebody might take this too seriously i am just here to be a silly little guy #i want to be a silly guy you can catch in a jar with sticks and grass in it

[eirian]

its rly rough still kind of lowkey being interested in media that u used to be into but stopped engaging with when u realized it wasnt like Good Media to be interested in

str8 up im talking abt hetalia and dmmd for me. i miss the characters and designs and stories and fan content i used to engage with. i view them with a different perspective now and that perspective knows that theres very problematic and shitty parts of the media that shouldnt be like..excused. yknow?

at the same time i do tend to defend ppl's right to be into problematic media as long as theyre critical of it and recognize why the problematic parts are bad and dont excuse/praise/support them. maybe i should extend that to myself tbh. i always feel like im a nasty person for still thinking of stuff like that but maybe i need to give myself more credit. im in a much better headspace to indulge in shitty media than i used to be lol

i still dont feel super comfortable posting abt it on main yet but hey thats what sideblogs are for i guess

#i always hate talking abt this subject bc i dont want to be lumped in with proshitters and the like. bc i dont fuck w those ppl #but i also definitely agree with the fact that theres a huge purity culture thing going on nowadays that turns ppl off from #using their critical thinking skills in favor of only indulging in “good” media. i dont vibe w that either #like man idk u can be a good person and be interested in media thats got shitty aspects to it. bc u recognize that its bad. #and u dont support it. yknow? #i honestly am just. so tired. of walking on eggshells with the media i consume #im 26 dude i have other things to worry abt than if somebody on tumblr with a fandom url thinks im shitty for being into something they don #deem “good media” #at this point im just like. who fucking cares dude. who cares!!! #life's too goddamn short to worry abt this shit anymore methinks #if u see me post dmmd or hetalia in the future dont worry abt it ok. just ignore it. unfollow me if u have to. blacklist it i will tag it

[13eyond13]

have you dated a lot?

Not really! I've had 3 official relationships, 1 with a girl and 2 with guys... the girl was first and the guys were after that because I wasn't 100% sure if I was gay. After I broke up with the second guy I just kinda stopped dating altogether for a long while and slowly realized and accepted that I was indeed gay and that I missed being with a girl and that the idea of spending my life with a man didn't appeal to me at all, even though I like guys as friends and can find them cute and attractive and whatnot sometimes too. MOSTLY I've just been single for long periods of time though, and rn I'm like the constant single 9th wheel of my friend group which is getting pretty old hahaha

#the only one i ever felt in love with was the girl but unfortunately it was a v toxic relationship too #i'm more than ready to meet the girl of my dreams and settle down for real now but #i live on an island that is like #EVERYONE knows each other and its super insular and old fashioned in ways so that doesnt really help either #you always feel like somebody's mom is gonna be all in your business or your classmate from grade 4 or sthg and its hard to meet people #especially if youre gay but #im also just really bad at displaying my interest in people i find attractive hahaha #i get told im kinda like daria or something just like hard to read and deadpan #even when i think im being obvious about my emotions #so other people usually have to pursue me #for anything much to happen #mostly im just shy and also worried ill annoy people by coming onto them if they arent interested or also gay hahaha #p

[leopards-faces]

I hate having a complicated relationship with my mom because sometimes I love her I owe her everything and sometimes it's all my fault and I don't know anything and I'm always mean and wrong and it's going to give me an aneurism. It makes me want to rip my hair out and scream and cry. She is so hard to talk to and I know she says she loves me but I also know that she doesn't like me. I'm always a problem and I don't know why

#haha remember that time she held me on the ground by my hair because i dared try to stop her from smacking me? #remember when she got drunk and told me #that she wished id gotten hit by the van that had been speeding in our neighborhood #remember when she used me for affection when her boyfriend left her in 2020 and it made me really uncomfortable #i do #i remember all of that #all the time #remember when i got a horrible bloody nose on the bus and a giant blood clot fell out snd instead of her being worried that id lost so much #blood and everyone thought i was dying she got mad at me because the nurse had called and woken her up to come get me #so she just left me at school and i got anemic for like 3 weeks #remember when she used to take her anger out on me and my brother by driving as fast as she could down the highway to scare us #remember when she punished me for accidentally spilling a drink in her car by almost rear ending someone while i was in the front seat #i still remember all of that #remember when she used to try to make me physically fight her and it would always get to where i was on the ground #and somebody would have to call my dad to come get us #dont get me wrong he sucked too but at yhe time he was safer #and now she doesnt remember most of that #but i do

[mifunebooty]

Really funny this white dude in my speech class group i remember he kept making eye contact with me and i was like does he like me um and turns out he did that with everybody white people weird

#cherry says #anyways fun inside GOD THAT SEMESTER WAS STICKY my mom could not take unemployment well #me i got used to the cycle of looking for jobs getting nothing then stop looking bc my mom said dont worry about it ill pay the bills #i did that over and over and with film jobs id just look at texas film commission sometimes just to look #but i myself got used to the job hunting so i felt zoned out from it yet #that area felt as much a daydream as my wanting to go make a movie i didnt think i wanted to tell myself that #especially because i still was doing acting looking for acting #but yeah there was times my mom would make violent fits she would wonder what was happening #i think those times revealed a lot of the weird complexity of our relationship after high school #i didnt pity her but i did feel like i owed her something i believed so many things she told me #i feel like she wanted me to see her work as a sacrifice so i must do this and that but it was way deeper #parental love became a fucking duty to show it that was just it i did what she said #to at the same time comfort myself when i had no job and maybe even to comfort myself for being scared #i think tbh i need to face that past action that i was scared i was scared of reality even if it was a reality she talked of #i was scared of growing up and didnt wanna think about it i was scared of the future in 2 months when class ended #so maybe my mom with no job suddenly presented the risks we were all taking #maybe it made me more scared of what was to be on the outside #somebody who put fear in my head who said dont worry u study i work and that was gone #perhaps i shouldve taken that opportunity to realize NOTHING LASTS. #YOUR MOTHER WHO ALWAYS MADE IT SOUND LIKE THE WORLD WAS CONTROLLED AND PREDICTED BY HER IS AS VULNERABLE AS YOU NOTHING LASTS #but i didnt i instead became the punching bag again the quiet good girl and kept on thats a lot to swallow even more