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imaginesforthosewhoseekthem · 4 years

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Just imagine a normally nice MC that is pissed off. Everyone will be kinda concerned and confused bc this docile, sweet human is threatening to behead them. This something I cannot get out of my head. It’s ok if you don’t do it, but thanks for taking the time to read this :)

((I might just be on a Danganronpa binge, but I picture MC snapping like this (Spoilers for Danganronpa if you’ve never seen or played it and intend on doing so. I’ll put a gif under it if it helps prove the point better) ))

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt_qF8SbZ_I

I’m gonna TRY to take this seriously, I swear XD. Only doing this with the 7 bros atm, but lemme know if you guys want the undateables in the future.

SPOILERS FOR LESSONS 1-20, MOSTLY CUSA BELPHIE’S PART. I really hope this is okay, it took me a WHILE to write. There’s probably some grammar mistakes here and there, but I will fix them overtime))

Lucifer:

Lucifer was kinda putting pressure on you with chores and tasks, barely giving you time to rest. Eventually, it just kinda made you snap at him.

“CAN’T YOU DO THIS CRAP YOURSELF?! YOU MANAGE THESE 6 IDIOTS ALL THE TIME AND YOU CAN’T DO SOMETHING LIKE A SIMPLE CHORE OR TASK?!” you snapped at him.

Welp...it was nice knowing you. Depending on the types of relationship you have with Lucifer, his punishments are either personal...or “Private” if you get my drift.

WE KNOW YOU’RE A FREAKY BITCH, LUCI!

Either way, you DEFINITELY feel like you are dead meat once you realize it was LUCIFER you snapped at.

If the others are in the room with you, Mammon will run, Levi will livestream it, Satan and Belphegor will either be there to laugh at you or encourage you to say worse, Beel will get a snack to watch and Asmo...well he’ll probably tell Luci to try not leave a mark on your body because that’s “his job”. Basically no one is helpful here.

Unless you’re not afraid of Luci or just stupid in which case, you keep runnin your damn mouth at him over stuff that will TOTALLY hurt his Pride. If you get one of his brothers to laugh, even SNICKER at him, you are in WORSE trouble.

Bonus points added to you getting screwed over by him if Diavolo was anywhere CLOSE to hear that,

Your ass is getting dragged to his room or office and getting a talking to or a “talking to” for SEVERAL hours straight.

Luci doesn’t take shit, He i the Avatar of Pride and will not let some human taint it.

Not gonna lie though...you DID catch him off guard and he did kinda ease up on the work because even though he’s way stronger than you, he does NOT wanna see you like that ever again

Mammon:

Oh, he did it again. He got both of you in trouble. You snapped cus this was the third time in a row that week. Mammon’s making his stupid excuses and it just..unloaded onto him.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WEREN’T SUCH A SCUMBAG, WE WOULDN'T GET INTO SO MUCH TROUBLE!” you barked at him.

He. Was. Stunned.

If you’re Lucifer levels of angry, he might even be a little scared of you.

For a moment to defend himself, he may switch to how he was when you two first met.

“O-Oh yeah?! Who are you, a weak, feeble HUMAN to tell the Great Mammon what he is and isn’t?! I could crush ya right now if I wanted to!”

He’s bluffing so much even humans that WEREN’T there could see it.

“Oh, you know what? YA KNOW WHAT?! That is it! I am not even gonna speak to you til you are BEGGIN’ me to forgive ya!”

Yep, he’s really doing this. Obviously, you don’t care because you’re not the one that should be apologizing here.

The other 6 are actually pretty happy with this transaction. Finally, some silence from Mammon’s ever yapping pie-hole. He’s sitting there with a pout on his lip and slumped. He’s not going to say how sorry you’ll be in front of his brothers because he said HE wasn’t talking to YOU. So he doesn’t need it rubbed in his face.

Of course, being the Avatar of Greed, he’s up to his Greedy ways, so he’ll make whatever excuse he can to get his brothers away from you.

Not even a day has passed and he comes up saying he “forgives you for getting mad at him”. But if you still look upset with him, he does legit feel bad and apologizes...the MAMMON way lol.

“Well...I GUESS if it bugs you that much, I could keep outta trouble...Just for a little while, though! I ain't some softie! I’m too much of an awesome rebel for that~!” he said, trying so much to impress you with his “Bad Boy” attitude.

Deep down, he just doesn’t want to make his human mad at him again.

Leviathan:

((Sorry if the reason isn't great, but this baby boy is too cute to have a reason to be mad at, I’m sorry! If Levi stans hate this, you have permission to slap me. I deserve it XD))

Levi had kept dragging you to play games with him and watch anime, but you had studying to do.

Whenever you tried to tell him you had to go study, he did this thing where he would use the “Studying is probably better than hanging out with a lame otaku like me” speech to get you to cave in.

You didn't realize it, but you only had a few days left to study and you were STRESSED.

Levi was about to use the same speech on you again when you finally had had enough.

“LEVI! I HAVE SPENT SO MUCH TIME WITH YOU, IT COULD ACTUALLY COST ME FROM GETTING A GOOD GRADE! CAN YOU PLEASE PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ANIME AND VIDEO GAMES AND DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T RISK OTHER PEOPLE FAILING AT LIFE!“ you blurted. You regretted saying some of that, but it was too little too late.

Levi was hurt his best friend would say all of that to him. You could see him fighting back tears.

“F-Fine..! Whatever! I can just find s-someone else to play with me..!” he said, choking n his words. “J-Just get outta my room, already!”

You tried to apologize for snapping, but he wasn’t having it, at least not right now.

You would make it up to him after you finished studying and taking your test.

Levi spent the next few days being somewhat passive-aggressive towards you, spending more time with Mammon or Henry 2.0 (his goldfish) just to spite you. However, you were too busy catching up on the studying you missed out on to notice.

Eventually, he was ready to go give you a piece of his mind when he saw...you were asleep at your desk and surrounded by books. It kinda made him realize how much he really made you miss out on and he felt pretty bad.

The next morning, you woke up to a text from Lucifer that said he pulled some strings to get you more time to study and have your date for the test slightly later than the others. You also had Levi’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders.

You definitely bought him some new games and figures as a way to apologize for yelling at him and you two made up.

Rest assured, Levi listens to you way more after that. You being mad at him is upsetting and kinda scary to him.

Satan:

Satan was being a typical cynical smartass and talking about what tricks he’ll attempt on Lucifer today.

The past THREE times you, he and Belphie tried to pull pranks on Lucifer, you were one step ahead and you just DID not have the energy for it anymore.

“Hey Satan..~” you say sweetly to lure him in.

“Mmm?” he asked, distractedly.

“Shut...the F**K up!” you snapped, irritated at him.

Now...There are really two ways the Avatar or Wrath can take being told to shut up, let alone to shut the f up.

If you are LUCKY...Satan will laugh it off with an amused chuckle that you’re trying to intimidate him

Your luck runs out of you try and elaborate on that WHILE he’s laughing.

“IF YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMARTEST BROTHER, HOW DO YOU HAVE SUCH IDIOTIC IDEAS?!”

You’re dead. You’ve dug your own grave and you are DEAD. He’ll PROBABLY grab you by the throat if that REALLY pissed him off.

“What the F**K...did you just say to me you weak, breakable little twerp?” he asks in that calm, serial killer like tone that let’s you know you’re dead meat.

That’s when you run, you knock some books in his path and you run!

You don’t stop running until you find Lucifer to make Satan calm the hell down.

It’s probably best if you two don’t talk to one another for a few days.

Satan is secretly shocked and upset his image of you being the innocent one is shattered...for like, a SECOND. That is until he realizes...he LIKES to see you angry...and he WILL use this newfound enjoyment against you.

You go to apologize, but he yanks you in, pins you to the wall like he’s going to hurt you...but smirks and says in his most smarmy and CONDESCENDING tone.

“You’re even cuter when you’re mad~ I won’t hurt you over this...at least not in the way I had intended~” he teases before pecking your nose and walking away like the tease he is.

He could be such a bitch sometimes.

Asmodeus:

You were honestly pretty jealous of the people who Asmo had been flirting with. To the point it was really starting to irritate you. Especially if he spoke about how cute OTHER people were while you were there.

When he got to talking about something hot someone else has that you are self conscious over…you just lost it.

“MAYBE IF YOU STARTED THINKING WITH THE HEAD ON YOUR SHOULDERS, YOU’RE VAIN DUMBASS COULD FOCUS ON YOUR STUDIES!” you hissed.

Asmo blinked at you, shocked you would even WANT to shriek at someone as beautiful as him. After thinking it over for a second, not even looking offended, just surprised, he grew a small smirk.

You see, kids, if events have taught us anything, it’s that you can’t get angry at Asmo…cus his horny-ass just thinks you’re being forceful or aggressive and he enjoys it.

“My, my~ This is an INTERESTING change of pace, (Y/N). I sense that someone is jealous over my attention being away from them~! Of course, it’s not like I blame you~! I’m so beautiful, ANYONE would fight over me~” he bragged.

You were just so done with his nonsense, you were about to leave, but you felt him grab your wrist all of a sudden. He tugged you close and stroked your chin with a sly smirk.

“That being said, I think I LIKE seeing you raise your voice at me~ Do it some more, (Y/N)~ Pretty please~❤”

Yep, you were gone. You couldn’t with his flirty shit right now. You were still mad, you just had the deepest blush across your cheeks.

Asmo kept trying to make you jealous so you would bark at him. You opened a new kink for him to say the least.

You know what DID end up getting to him though? When you looked the person he was flirting with dead in the eye and said “You can have him..” like you were giving away something you didn’t even want.

THAT’S when he got offended. He was maaaaaaaad.

“(Y/N)! How could you SAY such a thing?! Do you not want me or something?!” he asked, pouting up a storm.

Well, you wanted to get a reaction out of him, you just didn’t expect it to go like THAT.

He tries to give you the cold shoulder, but he wants your attention too much to keep it up, so he eventually sits beside you with a pout on his lips and his arms folded.

“I’m willing to apologize for flirting with other demons...but only if you apologize for that comment earlier.” He said

You eventually do apologize, cus even if you love him, a whiny Asmo can get emotionally tiring. You promise him you mean every word of apology…and then he tackles you with hugs and kisses.

You may or may not regret apologize just for that alone, but at least he’s happy.

Beezlebub:

Beel ate something you were saving for later. Usually he wouldn’t because he would want to eat something like that WITH you since it was yours. Sometimes it wasn’t even that big of a deal to you because you could just get more. ((I know all the foodies in the audience are looking at me funny for writing that. Look guys, unless it’s something I haven’t had in a while, I don’t personally care if someone eats my food.))

But this time it was different. It was a special treat someone close to you had brought just for you before you got to the Devildom. Maybe even they last time you’d see them for a long time, not just the year you were in the Devildom. It’s not the last time you see them ever because it’s not gonna be THAT depressing guys.

You had written your name and everything on it, but Beel was in his hungry stages…like CLOSE to demon form stages.

You saw the carnage left over from this special treat. Beel was JUST apologize when you snapped.

“TURNING INTO A DEMON PUT YOUR BRAIN IN YOUR STOMACH, DIDN’T IT?!” you snapped. Beel was like…legit surprised to see this coming from YOU of all people. You were such a small, sweet little human the rest of the time and here you were, yelling at him.

Yelling at Beel definitely caused some instant regret, because the boy couldn’t help himself. Now YOU were about to apologize when Beel interrupted.

“I-I’m so sorry (Y/N). I didn’t realize how much it meant to you. I should have gotten one of my brothers to call you…o-or told you on my D.D.D so we could’ve…I’m sorry.” He said, frowning. “I promise, I’ll make up for this…I’ll go to the human world and get the person who made it if I have to.” He said, leaving you alone.

Well you sure felt like a jackass now. Yeah, out of all the brothers, Beel is probably the most understanding, so you legit feel like an ass after yelling at him. You texted and said your apology over and over to him, but he either wouldn’t reply because he was trying to re-create it or insisting it was hit fault.

Belphie is pretty pissed you yelled at Beel like that, but you did tell him you didn’t mean for it to slip out and explain the situation.

He doesn’t get the sentimental value like you or Beel do, but he soon gets you really ARE sorry and leaves you alone about it.

Beel eventually calls you over and he made a BUNCH of the food he ate on you. Some he got his brothers or Barbados to help him with, but a lot were made by him.

This freaking teddy bear of a demon worked his wings off to make it up to you. Of COURSE you two forgive each other.

The flavor probably isn’t EXACTLY like the one he ate on you, but you felt the love put into it none the less and you at least have a new fond memory of that food. You may need help eating it all though.

The whole house eats that dish for a while. You even get Solomon, the angels and even Diavolo to help clean out the supply.

Beel’s more than happy to help though. It’s also just as well you won’t see the person who gave you the original for a while. You get sick of it pretty quick…but seeing Beel smile over it does help bring enjoyment back to the flavor.

Belphegor:

It was either like Satan where he got you in trouble with Lucifer or he slept in and missed out on something important. Either way, you were fed up with Belphie showing up late to things or not showing up at all

As soon as he woke up, he just gave you an innocent looking, bus clearly condescending smile, much like when he used to lie to your face. You sure let him have it in the middle of his smart ass tone.

“WITH HOW IRRESPONSIBLE YOU ARE, I WISH I COULD SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL YOUR BULLS**T!” you barked at him all of a sudden.

Now kinda like Satan, at first Belphie’s response to this is to get angry right away. His face gradually lowers and he kinda towers over you like he’s trying to intimidate you and, if you remember what he did in another timeline, it kinda works to a degree.

“The hell did you just say to me? I killed you once, I’ll do it again if I wanted to.” He was hoping to catch you off guard and laugh at you once you got scared of him, but you were still just so mad at him, you were ready to call his bluff.

“YEAH?! BIG MAN?! GO ON! DO IT! GIVE LUCI ANOTHER REASON TO LOCK YOU IN THE F**KIN ATTIC!” you yelled, pushing him.

Okay, THAT was a scorcher tho! That knocked the damn wind out of him. He knew for a FACT, you would never bring him being in the attic into this, so he KNEW he had legit pissed you right off. He just kinda took a step back in surprise.

“Okay, damn…I wasn’t being serious.” He said, picking up his pillow and walking away, shaking his head slightly. “You humans are so sensitive at times.

Out of all the brothers, as surprised as he is by your outburst, he probably cares the least. You know how he is with Lucifer, so he’ll likely use this as a means to push your buttons too.

You don’t want to talk to him, but he will STILL give you a smarmy “Are you done being a child yet?” JUST to get on your nerves.

Beel can see that it’s not just putting a damper on your mood, but Belphie’s too, because as much as he wants to uphold how much of a smartass he is, he’s finding it harder to take naps knowing he upset you.

The twins talk it out and Belphie admits defeat, waiting til you’re alone in your room to go see you. He says nothing, comes in and sits on your bed, gesturing you sit beside him and resting his head on your lap.

“I’m sorry I kept pushing you…I didn’t realize how much I actually upset you and I’ll try not to sleep in as much if it’s for you..” he said softly.

You stroked his hair slowly and kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry I yelled at you..the attic thing was too far.” You said.

Belphie smiled and wrapped his arms around you, keeping you in place. “You can make it up to me by letting me sleep on you.

He did actually make better effort into showing up and it only cost more naps while holding you, so best make sure you don’t have anywhere to be for the next few hours. Belphie will lock you in place.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me imagines #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor

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josephstoontown · 8 years

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We Want Jobs!

This one's a bit on the short side as it was originally written as a three-part post. It also got a minimal amount of revising, compared to the stuff that came before it. This is also the first time this story has been combined and posted as one whole unit. (That's a lot of "this-and-that," innit?)

Word count: 4,606 – Character count: 27,434 Originally written: May 10th, 2016* Slightly revised: January 12th, 2017 Further revised: August 18th, 2017 (* This is a guess since the original posts were queued exclusively to Tumblr and not posted the same day they were written.)

Joseph's second day in ToonTown becomes all-business as he tries to find a job… alongside an uninvited guest.

Woody Woodpecker, The Woody Woodpecker Show, and related characters and properties created by and © Walter Lantz Productions Bonkers D. Bobcat, Raw Toonage!, and related characters and properties created by and © The Walt Disney Company Bubsy Bobcat, Bubsy, and related characters and properties created by Michael Berlyn and © Accolade, Inc. Mona Lisa, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and related characters and properties created by Fred Wolf Films/IDDH and © Mirage Studios "That's the Spirit Guy," Rocket Power, and related characters and properties created by Klasky Csupo, Inc. and © Viacom Media Networks Minerva Mink, Animaniacs, and related characters and properties created by Amblin Entertainment and © Warner Bros. Animation (Dang, that's a lot of credits, huh?)

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The sun was smiling above the eastern horizon as Joseph walked along the busy ToonTown blocks. There were a number of different types of cartoon characters out-and-about today – some 2D with varying degrees of animation fluidity… some 3D with seem-less motion. However, Joseph noticed that every single one of them seemed perfectly content to co-exist with one-another. Well, he thought, that’s good that there’s no real prejudice between animation styles… Just as he’d thought that, a 2D ‘toon on a ‘toon bike blew by him, almost knocking him over. “Watch where you’re walking, you bulbous fox geek!” Joseph debated throwing up a very rude gesture to the biker, but given what had happened the last time he did something like that, he decided against it and just continued walking.

Joe’s Diner had become something of a way-point for him as his second day started and his feet quickly lead him right back to where his ToonTown excursion started. As he walked up toward the door, however… “Howdy, stranger! Guess who!” The fox froze at the voice coming from behind him. Oh no… The annoying, repetitive laugh he heard a moment later confirmed it. Slowly, he turned around and saw… “Woody-Ash damn it-Woodpecker…” “Well, I sure ain’t Bugs Bunny!” the redheaded woodpecker laughed. “Boy, wouldn’t that be great, though…?” Woody turned around and Joseph looked as a third voice made itself known.

“Well well! If it isn’t Bubsy Bobcat!” the woodpecker cheerfully greeted. The orange bobcat standing there in the green turtleneck just narrowed his tired-looking eyes… “He’s Bonkers,” Joseph added, causing Woody to turn back toward him. “Yeah, totally nuts!” Woody laughed. The fox blinked at that. “Bonkers?” “No ifs, ands, or buts, but–” “Cut it out!” Woody and Joseph were startled as the bobcat interrupted their “conversation.” He looked fairly irritated with the two of them.

“What’s’a’madda, Bucko?” The woodpecker grinned. “Need more sleep?” Bonkers shook his head. “Listen, Woody… I’m sorry for the smart remark. I’m just here to find Fawn and apologize for last night.” “Weeell…” Woody rolled up his… feathers? He then looked at an oversized cartoon wristwatch on his bare wrist before looking back to Bonkers. “I think her shift’s over, Bonko!” “It is…?” Bonkers rolled back his own sweater sleeve and checked his watch before shaking it. Grape jelly dripped out of it, much to Joseph’s surprise. “Darn… This watch hasn’t worked right since I had The Hatter look at it…” “Why’d’ja let ol’ Hatty look at it?” the woodpecker asked. “Don’cha know what he does with watches?” “Well, I do now…”

“Anyway,” Woody continued, “third shift’s long over, Bonko! She’s probably home in bed by-now! Ya look plenty tired, yourself… Maybe you should go join her!” Joseph’s dirty mind picked up on something. He didn’t think Woody realized what he’d just suggested… until the bird turned around and threw a wink his way. The fox had to cover his muzzle and pretend to clear his throat to disguise the grin and chuckle he gave. “You’re probably right,” Bonkers replied, completely ignoring the underlying suggestion. “But I should probably go to my own house. I don’t wanna wake up poor Fawn.” “Well don’t let us keep ya!” The woodpecker gave Bonkers a bit of a push. “Go home an’ get some sleep!” “Um… okay. See ya later, Woody.”

As Bonkers headed across the street, Woody turned back to Joseph with a grin. “Now that he’s outta the way, how ‘bout we get some breakfast! Your treat!” “No.” Joseph narrowed his eyes. “Pay for your own da– arn breakfast.” “Suit yourself!” The woodpecker walked to the door, holding it open. “After you!” The fox was about to enter… when he remembered what happened last time Woody had him enter ahead. “No tricks this time, Woody…” he said, looking down at the woodpecker. “I need to look presentable.” “Yeeaaah??” Woody asked, tilting his head. “Why?” “I’m going to see if I can’t get a job here. My money isn’t going to last, and–” “Ooh! What a co-wink-key-dink!” He grinned. “I need a job, too!” “What? Really?” “Yeah! And since I know someone who can vouch for me… I figured I’m a shoe-in here at Joe’s Diner!” “Oh, Ash damn it…!” Joseph gave a huff and turned to walk away. “Hey!” The woodpecker grabbed his hand, giving him a tug. “Where ya goin’, pal?” “Away. To find a job somewhere else. Somewhere that doesn’t involve you.” Joseph gave a look back as he jerked his arm away from the woodpecker. What he saw, however, surprised him. Woody was slouching, a frown on his face and a hurt look in his eyes.

“I thought maybe we could work here together…” he said in a quiet voice. “You an’ I, new best buds, fightin’ off starvation and poverty! You got my back, I got yours! But if ya don’t wanna, I guess I understand…” The fox watched as Woody walked over to the curb of the road and sat down, arms on his knees and head in his hands. “It’s not easy for an old-timey ‘toon like me t’ make new friends. You’re the first friendly face that hasn’t told me to go away in a while, even after all the gags ‘n pranks!” He sighed. “Ever since ‘toons stopped bein’ so ‘toon-y, older folks like us either had to adapt or get left behind! Some folks like Bugs or Mickey adjusted no-prob!�� I tried, too… but no one wants t’ see Woody Woodpecker cartoons anymore. ‘cept maybe that bright-eyed ‘toon lady you were with… But you probably don’t care ‘bout the problems of a washed-up has-been like me anyway…” The woodpecker shooed the fox away with a hand. “G’wan, go get a job. I’ll find something else to do. If I’m lucky…”

Joseph grimaced a little. Seeing Woody act so serious was a little disturbing… He seemed genuinely downtrodden and upset. Joseph knew he had to make it right. “Woody, I–” “Don’t bother!” Joseph blinked as Woody stopped him. “It’s fine. I’ve survived this long, after all! Maybe I can find a part-time job digging graves or somethin’…” The fox’s ears fell hard at that. He knew that people sometimes said something about digging ditches as a – no pun intended – last-ditch resort… but Woody mentioning graves specifically… well, it was just too much for him.

“H-hey! What are you doing?!” The fox had walked over and grabbed Woody by his colorful arm, dragging him back to the door of Joe’s Diner. Despite Woody’s protests, the fox walked in, bringing him along. Without even waiting to be addressed, he walked over to the counter and slammed his fist down, getting the attention of everyone in the diner and then some.

“We want jobs and we want them now!”

Several people in the diner were entranced by what they saw… Some were staring at the anthropomorphic fox, wondering why he’d just made such a scene. Others were watching his captive, curious as to why he was dragging a little, blue woodpecker in his free arm. Either way, Joseph had certainly made a spectacle of them both.

“What the heck is going on out here??”

Joseph looked to the swinging doors separating the kitchen from the main area. A somewhat-familiar figure stepped out with an irritated look on her face. “Is it you making all that ruckus?” a brown-haired, green-skinned lizard in the apron asked. “You’re damn right it is,” Joseph replied before hauling his reluctant companion up and into view. “We want jobs!” The lizard crossed her arms over her chest, shifting to her left hip and giving the duo a look full of attitude. “You guys do know there’s a right way and a wrong way to do things, right?” “Listen…” Joseph paused to read the girl’s name tag. “Mona. We’re broke, we have nowhere to go but up, and we want to change that any way we can! Where’s your manager?” “Uuh…” The fox looked to Woody as he spoke. “Mona is the manager.” Joseph blinked before looking at the girl’s tag a second time. Right there, clear as day above her name, it read “Manager, 1st Shift”. “Y… yeah, I– I knew that!” he said, causing Mona to smirk in amusement. “She– uh– a-anyway!” Joseph dropped the woodpecker on the floor before leaning over the counter, a determined look on his face.

“We don’t care what we have to do!” he said. “No position is too humiliating! Just give us anything that pays any amount of money and we’ll gladly accept!” “Is that so?” The fox gave a nod. Mona tossed her head back and forth, causing her feathered, brown bouffant to sway. “I like your spirit, fox. Tell ya what… you guys come back here at the end of my shift and we’ll talk. Until then, though?” Joseph blinked as Mona drew inward. He then winced as she grabbed him by both ears, pressing her face against his. Her eyelids dimmed and she grinned as she calmly said… “Either buy something or get the hell outta my diner.”

The fox blinked again as Mona let him go, a dominant smile on her face. He was a little too stunned to react… After several moments, he looked down to the woodpecker sitting on the floor and said three words. “Mona is awesome.” “I’ve been told that, sweetie,” the lizard said with another grin. “Now… breakfast? Yes, or no?” “Uh… we’ll get back to you on that. C’mon, Woody. Let’s have a little chat outside.” Woody blinked a couple of times, watching Joseph leave. He then looked up at Mona, giving a nervous grin and shrugging before running out the door after him.

“What was all that about?!” was the first thing the woodpecker asked once he re-joined Joseph. “I… I don’t know.” The fox rubbed the back of his head as he sat on a bench some yards down the road from the diner. “Is that how you get all your jobs??” “N-no… I just–” “How did you even know that’d work??” “I-I did–” “And why’d you drag me into this?” Joseph shook his head before turning to Woody, his ears folded back and a stern look on his face.

“Look!” he said in a tone that caused Woody to jerk back. “We may be getting jobs of some kind there at Joe’s and that’s all that matters. Okay?” The woodpecker tilted his head, staring as the fox reached into his pocket. “Ash damn it, where’s my Vapo…?” “You smoke?” the bird asked. “I vape. There’s a world of difference.” “Well, I was gonna say, if ya wanna smoke…” Woody reached into his… feathers? He then withdrew a pack of distinctly photo-realistic cigarettes, tapping one loose before sticking it into his beak. “Wait… what?” “Want one?” The fox hesitated… then shook his head. “Sorry.”

“Suit yourself!” the woodpecker said for the second time that day, tucking the cigarettes into his… pocket? “How… does that even work…?” “Oh, it’s easy!” Woody stood up and stretched out his… feather pocket? “It’s elastic!” “No, not that!” Joseph’s muzzle twitched. “I mean, how the heck does a ‘toon smoke real cigarettes?” “The same way non-‘toons do, probably!” he said as he lit and puffed the white tobacco stick. A moment later, he emitted a perfectly round, perfectly realistic smoke ring from his beak. “But…!” The fox stopped in mid-thought, closing his eyes and shaking his head again. “Ya know what? I shouldn’t be asking. I mean, I ate ‘toon food yesterday and I’m fine, so why couldn’t a ‘toon use non-toon things, themselves?” “Whaddaya mean?” The woodpecker tilted his head. “Aren’t you a ‘toon, too?” “What?” Joseph blinked. “Of course I’m not a ‘toon. Why would you think–” Woody held his cigarette in two gloved fingers and pointed across the road. Joseph jolted as he watched what appeared to be a pair of perfectly normal-looking animal-people – not unlike himself – walk by. One was a strong-looking bear-man while the other was a deer in a short, blue dress. They seemed to be holding hands. “Huh. So I’m not the only Ragnarokian in this place.” Joseph smiled a little. Suddenly, his ears perked and fur bristled. “Wait…”

Joseph looked back to Woody, a look of fear in his eyes. “Are… are you trying to say that those aren’t Beings? Those are ‘toons?” Woody puffed on his cigarette, letting the smoke come out his nose. “They starred in a juice commercial together, I think…” The fox couldn’t believe it. He looked back over to the duo… then back to himself. “But… but… A… am I a ‘toon…? H-have I been this whole time…? N-no, no! I refuse to believe that! I can’t be…” Joseph looked at his companion. “C… can I…?” “Who knows? Does it really matter anyway?” Woody gave Joseph a little nudge. “Maybe humans are just someone else’s goofy drawings, too!” The fox had to blink at that. What Woody had just said was… rather insightful, to him. In a way, the little woodpecker had put things into a rather odd, but somehow comforting, perspective… “You know, you’re right,” the fox said as the smile returned to his face. “Who cares. ‘toon or Being, I’m me regardless! So… yeah.”

“So now that you’ve gotten that existential crisis outta the way…” Joseph tilted his head. Woody was looking right at him now, the half-smoked cigarette still hanging in his beak. “Care to explain why you made that big scene back there, pal?” “Oh, uh…” The fox rubbed the back of his head. “I… I still don’t know. I guess I was just… I dunno… angry? I didn’t exactly come here by-choice…”

“I see.” Woody looked up into the painted sky of ToonTown and leaned back against the bench. “And… why did’ja drag me along for it? I thought ya didn’t want anything t’ do with me.” Joseph winced, his ears folding. “That’s… not…” Woody jabbed his fingers in the fox’s face before he could finish his thought. “‘Somewhere that doesn’t involve you!’ Your exact words, n’est-ce pas?” He didn‘t understand that last bit, but had to agree… “That’s… that’s what I said, yes, but…” “So why!” The woodpecker stood up, getting his smoky face right up in Joseph’s. “Why didn’cha just leave me there to sulk if ya don’t wanna work with me?!” “Look!” Woody jerked back, fumbling with the cigarette that popped out of his mouth. He was genuinely surprised by that response… “I said… I mean…” Joseph looked away. “I didn’t mean what I said the way I said it, okay? I just… You’re very…” “Loud?” Woody replied. “Obnoxious? ‘toon-y? Annoying? Jerk-y? Uhh… stop me any time here, pal!” “Why?” The fox gave the bird a little grin. “You’re doing such a good job.” Woody grinned in return, shaking his head.

“But seriously…” Joseph looked to Woody. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Woody. Actually, I should be grateful for meeting you.” “Oh?” The woodpecker flicked his cigarette on the pavement. “Why’s that?” “This might sound familiar…” he said with a grin, “but you’re the first friendly face I’ve met since coming to this place. Even if you have a… funny way of being friendly.” “Well hey! If I didn’t tease ya,” Woody said with a smile of his own, “how would’ja know I liked ya?” “Hah! That sounds like me…” “Well then! ‘toons like us’ve gotta stick together! Am I right, pal?” Joseph blinked at being called a “‘toon” again, but gave a nod. “Put’er there,” Woody said, extending his hand. The fox gave him a suspicious look… “No zappy-hand-things, alright?” “Ya mean a joy buzzer? Naaah,” the woodpecker replied. “We’re havin’ a moment!” “Right. Well if that’s the case…” Joseph opened his arms, gesturing with his head. “Weeell…” The woodpecker debated before giving a nod. “Okay.”

Joseph chuckled slightly as he hugged the little woodpecker, the bird hugging right back. When he started purring, however… “Whoa whoa whoa, pal!” The fox blinked as Woody hopped back with an odd look on his face. “Let’s not get too cozy, huh? We’ve both got girlfriends, after all!” “What?” Joseph tilted his head. “The redheaded cutie!” Woody tilted his own head. “Or did’ja forget?” “Sh… she’s not my girlfriend…” Joseph said, his ears folding. The look on his face made Woody realize he’d touched on a sensitive topic…

“A-anyway…!” the bird said, tossing his cigarette butt into a nearby trash can, “What’s say we kill some time, huh? Mona gets off at 12 and I wanna be there to watch!” The fox blinked, his ears flicking. “W… Woody?” “Not at the moment!” The woodpecker wagged his eyebrow at the fox. “What the–” Joseph hid his face. “Woody, what the heck? Now I know you’re doing it on-purpose!” Woody laughed. “What’s a lil’ blue humor between friends? Right, pal? Besides!” The woodpecker hopped back on the bench and gave Joseph a nudge. “Aren’cha into scaly babes?” “I’m more into feathers, actually…”

Both froze on-the-spot – Joseph because he’d just realized how badly his knee-jerk, truthful comment could be taken, and Woody because… “Pal, I told’ja!” he nervously said, “I have a girlfriend!” Joseph suddenly grinned, his face turning predatory. “Threesome. Score…” “I really don’t think Winnie’d– ah-daaah– wait a minute!” Woody closed one eye, giving Joseph a dirty look. “Are you just messin’ with me??” The fox rolled his eyes upward and smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” This caused the woodpecker to laugh. “Oh, I think we’re gonna get along juuust fine! But ah, pal? Just to let’cha know?” Joseph jerked as Woody jumped into his lap and grabbed him by the collar. The woodpecker got dangerously close to his face, the bird’s green eyes glaring into his golden ones. “If you ever talk that way about my Winnie again, I’ll peck your god damn face off. And trust me… I’d go for the eyes first! Got it… pal?” The fox swallowed hard, his body completely tense. He had no idea Woody could be so threatening… “Y-y-yeah…” he nervously replied. “I-I got it.” “Great!”

Woody hopped back down to the pavement and cheerfully looked up at Joseph with a smile. The fox was still recovering from the seemingly sincere threat the woodpecker had made, his ears half-folded and fur slightly bristled. “Let’s go have some fun before Mona gets off, huh?” Woody said. Joseph cleared his throat and gave a nod, standing up and letting Woody lead the way. Soon the duo was off on a short, but memorable little adventure together.

The two burned quite a lot of time exploring the Universal District of ToonTown. At one point, they’d hit a mini-mall and found an arcade full of retro video games Joseph had never heard of, but seemed fairly good at regardless. At another point, they hit the park and just relaxed, talking about this-and-that. When the topic turned to Joseph’s night again, though…

“So, how did things turn out with that redhead anyway?” The fox looked away, ears folding again. “That bad, huh?” “I kissed her,” he confessed. Woody perked. “Oh?” “She didn’t like it.” The woodpecker lowered. “Oh…” “Yeah…” Joseph shook his head. “I shouldn’t have pressured her… I should’ve known better!” “Sometimes, ya just gotta listen to your heart and hope for the best, pal!” “Yeah, well… it ended horribly. She couldn’t get the heck away from me fast enough…” Joseph looked down. “She must hate me…” “Do you know that she does?” The fox blinked. “What? Of course she–” “Do you know… that she does?” Woody repeated. He paused… “N… no.” “Well then you can probably fix it!” Woody smiled. “After we get done here, just go to her place and–” “No!” Woody jolted as Joseph loudly replied. He then listened as the fox started up…

“No. No… just no… I– I refuse. At least… at least until I’m in a better position… finance-wise… Maybe on my own two feet and living somewhere… I dunno… She… she’s having a hard time, herself, despite having a job. I just… I don’t want to face her, knowing she might make that same offer of letting me stay with her again… I don’t want that… I-I mean, I kinda do? But…” “Joseph!” It was the fox’s turn to jolt, then. He blinked, looking over to Woody. The bird had a compassionate smile on his face. “It’s okay. I understand. You don’t have t’ talk with her if you don’t want to! And besides, you’re right! Getting on your own two feet is waaay more important right now!” Joseph took a deep breath, giving a soft nod to the bird. “So let’s go see if Mona’ll take pity on two poor slobs who’re down on their luck, eh?” “Heh, yeah. Worst-case scenario, she says ‘no’ and we go somewhere else.” “That’s the spirit!” Woody said with a wink. “C’mon, pal! Let’s go!”

The two caught the next bus back to the crossroads of Lantz and King. Soon enough, they were outside the diner again. To their surprise, however, Mona was already standing outside waiting for them, still in her pink dress, scarf, and high-heeled shoes but lacking the apron. “Hey!” she greeted. “I was looking for you two! Where’d you go?” “Oh, you know…” Joseph said, rubbing his arm. “Places.” “So? What are you waiting for? Come in!” Joseph gave a nod and gestured for Woody to follow him. The two then followed Mona into Joe’s Diner.

“So…” Mona said as the trio had been found their way to the back-corner table of the diner. “Let’s talk turkey, fellas. What are you really looking to do here at Joe’s?” “Honestly speaking…” Joseph said with a hand gesture, “anything is perfectly fine.” “Can you cook?” said another figure that had joined them, sitting beside Mona. This second figure was a slightly-shorter, but very attractive mink. She had long, flowing blond hair and a blond tail, blue eyes, white fur, and a pink nose. She was also wearing an outfit very similar to Mona’s, but with an apron and hat. Her name tag read “Minerva” and also told Joseph and Woody that she was the second-shift manager.

At the question, the fox looked to Woody. The woodpecker gave a shrug and a grimace. “I’m guessing that’s a ‘no…’” Mona said. “We don’t need greeters or waiters right now, either… In fact, there’s not much room in the payroll for any normal position! We may have to get a little creative! Hmm…” The two could hear Mona tap her shoe on the floor as they watched her put a hand to her chin, a thoughtful look on her face. “Can you guys at least wash dishes?” Minerva asked. “Well, yeah,” Joseph said. “Of course!” Woody added. “Alright, then!” Mona smiled. “Everyone’s gotta start somewhere. So, how’s this sound? We’ll bring you guys in part-time to wash-up between first-and-second shifts.” “That’s when we’re at our busiest,” Minerva added. “Are you okay with working four-hour shifts right now?” “Like you said,” Joseph answered, “Everyone’s gotta start somewhere.” “And it’s better than livin’ penniless on the street!” Woody laughed. “That’s what we like to hear,” Minerva said in her soft, silky voice. She and Mona then held their hands out to the duo. Joseph gave Woody a look and he sheepishly grinned. The fox apparently remembered the last time hands were to be shaken… However, Woody behaved himself and shook Minerva’s hand while Joseph shook Mona’s.

“By the way,” the second-shift manager said. “My name is Minerva, like the name tag says. It’s nice to meet a couple of guys willing to do some manual labor.” “Honestly,” Woody said, “I was gonna see if my pal Wally could get me a job. But I guess Joe’s method worked just as well!” “And to think…” Mona grinned. “I was going to call the ToonTown P.D. on you!” “Kinda glad you didn’t, Miss Mona,” Joseph said with a nervous chuckle. “Please. Just ‘Mona’ is fine!”

With their situation sorted, the two ordered some celebratory lunch and spent some time with Mona, Minerva needing to get back to work after the impromptu interview. Mona then excused herself after tearing through her chicken sandwich, leaving the two newest employees of Joe’s Diner to sit and chat amongst themselves.

“So…” Joseph said between bites of his fish sandwich, “that was wild.” “Boy, I’ll say!” Woody grinned over his plate of nachos. “But thanks t’ you losin’ your temper, we’ve got work!” “Well… I probably wouldn’t have been so forward if it wasn’t for me being such a jerk to you earlier…” “Water under the bridge, pal! Put ‘er there!” Joseph chuckled, extending his hand to the bird. When he’d grabbed the bird’s hand, however… “Dgvzaglfglblk–!!” The fox’s fur poofed out and a little cartoon smoke fluttered from the tips of his ears. Woody brightly smiled, holding up his hand. “ACME-brand Jumpin’ Jupiter Joy Buzzer! Gets ‘em every time!”

As Woody did his trademark laugh, the diner erupted into applause. The bird then jumped on to the table and bowed. Meanwhile, Joseph just muttered and rubbed the bridge of his muzzle… “Trinity above, what have I gotten myself into…?”

#commercial characters #The Woody Woodpecker Show #Woody Woodpecker #Raw Toonage #Bonkers #Bonkers D. Bobcat #Bubsy #Bubsy Bobcat #Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #Mona Lisa #Rocket Power #That's the Spirit Guy #Animaniacs #Minerva Mink #comedy #slice of life

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