#life sucks and i really wish it didn't

[onlythebravest]

-

#tw sick parent figure + tw sick parent when i was younger (sick-sick) #seriously don't read this it's just me rambling #i just write it here bc i don't want to bother people by saying the same thing over and over and over #bc it's nothing new to be said. i just need to get it out yet another time #i hope this drowns in all the louis posts so i can just send this into the void 😂 #i've been home for less than 24 hours and i already don't want to be here. it already sucks #i guess in a way it's good bc now i can help but it really sucks and idk how to handle everything #and on top of that my therapist continues to be sick so i don't even have someone to talk to about all of this and it just sits in my head #he is already back at the hospital which makes me just remember all the times my mom went in and out of the hospital when i was younger #well good thing here is that they have something that they now can treat even if they don't know it that's actual cause of not #but doesn't help with all my thoughts about how bad shit is and how it reminds me of my mom and how i can't handle any of this #and am instead rambling in some tags in a tumblr post #i wish i could just shut down all the emotions until he's all better and we don't have to worry anymore and everything is fine again #bc this sucks #i don't want to do this anymore #and i'm sure it's barely begun #bc why would it be easily treatable? that would be a miracle and i don't believe in miracles #life sucks and i really wish it didn't #if you’re down here then that’s impressive bc I wouldn’t be able to read this since it’s just a block of text without any real sentences 😂 #and yeah this is just me screaming into the void #don't worry about it i'll be fine

[sga-owns-my-soul]

ha

#ignore this #i just have so much fucking anxiety #and my depression is hitting me like a feckin train #which is great bc it hasn't be bothering me for a while #but of course it's showing up bc my life is going to shit rn #so it's FINE #i have no energy #for anything #and i keep randomly crying #and i'm just #lmao i'm not okay #and the person i usually talk to about this stuff is #not really in my life anymore #so #idk i'm crying into the void i guess #everything kinda really sucks right now and i know it'll be better eventually #it can't rain forever or whatever #but god it really fucking sucks right now #and i really wish i didn't have to deal with this #i'm so tired #i'm so fucking tired god #anyways ignore this i'm just #complaining #i guess #personal rambles #not stargate

[scarletcomet]

there's really no help for feeling suicidal when you're not in immediate danger

#like i guess im just supposed to wait until i am in immediate danger?? #and even those resources are just to keep you safe. not make you not want to die #what the fuck am i supposed to do #being suicidal but not being in immediate danger really sucks #at least if i was like going to hurt myself in a life threatening way i could potentially die #but no im stuck here all because i dont want my parents to be sad #doesn't seem fair. i didn't ask to be born #i don't know what to do #how long can i feel this way and imagine all these scenarios until i do something about it? #i got really close a few nights while i was still at school #but every method has its downsides #i wish i could just not care about the effects my suicide would have on other people #i really just need to go for it #it's extremely selfish of me to say this but once i'm dead i won't care #i wish i could kill myself tonight #i wake up every morning and have to do another day. sometimes it's not so bad but i still just want to be dead #even while im laughing or snuggling with my bunny or with friends i still want to be dead #i want to kill myself #i think if i had a plan even if i was never going to go through with it i would feel better #like something to fall back onto. or just knowing it was possible #guess it's time to keep working on the pros and cons list of different suicide methods🤡 #someone please help me #people who deserve to live and want to live die all the time but i have to keep living. doesn't seem fair. #the world is a really fucked up place #sorry for not adding trigger warnings. went past 20 tags and im on mobile so i cant move them around #i dont think anyone reads these anyways.

[raposarealm]

Decided Rena would be a good model for the new event background, and was reminded of back over two years ago when some people thought she might have been the Mirrors Witch, and now here she is, in front of the background from the event about the actual Mirrors Witch’s meguca form, who’s nothing like Rena at all...

Also reminded in turn that Rena has now, alongside many others, directly fought against the true Mirrors Witch herself, but given that she never fought Mikoto, I couldn’t write that in the above :(

#would rena get along with mikoto? no im pretty sure mikoto would try to kill her #most meguca are inherently unhappy but rena at least chooses to see the world around her as it actually is #iirc mikoto's bit was using her own magic on herself to disguise the truly horrid life she lived from herself #i feel pity for her in the same way that i do for hanna #their lives sucked and i can get why they made the wishes they did #but the last acts they did as they went out (or after they did so) were unjustly cruel #i don't know too much of mikoto's story so far since the event is still being translated #but i was around for the flowers' lament on na and yeah hanna what gives #i know she was losing it badly at that point but. the azaleas really didn't have to do with anything #moral of the story: if you're fucked over by politics #fuck over the *politician* #unrelatedly major props given to the kamihama mayor for not just realizing the damage she'd done but also moving to fix them #like she's confronted by some high schoolers (and an elementary schooler) after trying to jump off a roof and. took that quite wll. #magia record #minami rena #mirror witch #sayonara storage #rapo rambles in the tags

[aberooski]

Every day I tell myself "all I have to do is make it through today" and I'm realizing that I don't know how I feel about the fact that I feel like I have to tell myself that every single day.

#a lot of times it's because I hate my job and I'm miserable #I literally cried in the car on the way home today because I got so stressed during my shift #never work at a movie theater kids it's awful #I wish I didn't #I wish I could have a real job because I fucking went to college I got my fucking dgree #and yet this was the best I could do because I've never had a job in my life so no one would give me the time of day #I feel humiliated every single day I walk into the building #I feel like such a failure and an embarrassment #and that's not to say everyone who works at the theatre ahould feel that way that's now what I'm saying #but that's how I personally feel about myself and the situation that I am in #and we're entering the busiest week of the year so it sucks even more than usual #but also I'm just so tired from this year it's been a really bad one for me and my family #just abysmal in every way #so I have to remind myself I have to make it through the day every day right now #but you know what it's fine I have a chapter done and ready to go on Christmas and it's been almlst 4 years in the making #so in that case I have a present for some of you and I'm really excited about it #it's gonna be a sad Christmas for us because everyone in my family is broke but I hope you guys all have a better holiday than I will #and as someone who adores Christmas like it's my favorite day of the year type adore I'm just really down in the dumps right now #just feeling very sad #but anyway sorry rant over I have to go to bed #I don't get saturday's off and those are my lingest shifts so 🙃 #I get christmas eve and christmas ofd tough 😊 #but not the day after 🙃 #anyway bedtime for me sorry to rant guys #abby's self deprecation hour #abby after dark

[femmespoiled]

When I have to take over someone's cooking and they did something differently than I do and I can't fix it no matter how much I try, it makes me want to cry and lose my appetite completely

#I'm at a point in my life that if i didn't cook it i can't eat it because of how different these people make it from how i do #like it's very few people i trust that I'll be able to eat the food they cook without ever questioning #and it fucking sucks that my mom isn't one of those #random stuff #I'm just so specific with my food and i really really really wish i weren't because it's so limiting and it makes my life so much harder #also people who change how they do their food often stress me out so much because i like consistency. i like knowing what's there

[bredforloyalty]

what's the worst thing that could happen. it gets infected or my eardrum needs surgery. very unlikely i assume. if it's bad the doctor will be like go to urgent care if it's not serious then it's not serious and i can calm down and go get it fixed on monday or some other day. right??

#guys my approach to my body is it's either nothing or the ambulance takes me‚ no in-between #i have done nothing to prepare for this situation. this doesn't exist in my book #i can't heeeear though :( i really use my ears a whole lot in day-to-day life this kind of sucks. #i wish i didn't have ears

[ghosttoasties]

potholes are so bad here and i'm convinced even if i move again things won't improve because the state loves cops too much this is the third accident we've been in the last couple months where we've got somewhere to be and then we can't because the car has to get fixed 😭 i wish public transit was better and didn't take a literal half day just to get anywhere out of county.

#pasta jargon #i need to turn something in and i'm nervous asf so now i am in mi thoughts #when stuff like this happens it really sucks because i literally cant explain why im late. there's no forgiveness or sympathy with it. #nights like this I have to open up the ol' Notion and read thru my fics like i've never seen them before #cus no lie i can't even remember when i wrote them i can't believe i wrote half the shit i have on there. it's an archive at this point #it's been like two years and even 10 for some of them i wish my nerves didn't eat me up so much i'd love to post them someday #but tbh i feel like only me & 3 other people even care about that ship. but to those three.......one day i swear. i got u. #i feel like i'd post more and about my life more if i knew no one i knew (expect the tumblr moots) would see any of it #why does it matter. idk. i had to update my [REDACTED] today and i got sick to my stomach at the thought of anyone going through it #i've had rumors spread about me before i dont need this again #if i could start fresh i would in a heartbeat. i'm too used to it

[valleyofdeaddandelions7]

Fuck this real life shit to hell and back! Am going to one of those Jibaku Shonen Hanako-Kun slice of life AUs where everyone is happy and nobody fucking died and am gonna be happy there!!!!

#hanako kun #Can you tell I'm having a crisis ? #I really wish i wasn't like here here #Life sucks #jibaku shounen hanako kun #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #tbhk #Anime #Manga #Fucking end me #Am so so tired #So tired of this #I just wanted to help #I just wanted to be happy #Why can't i #I wish i didn't exist #I don't wanna be here anymore

[stinkrascal]

pros of trying a new restaurant: the lady working the front counter said i was really pretty :)

cons of trying a new restaurant: i got food poisoning from it

#this solidifies my belief that trying new things sucks bad and isnt good #which sucks bc i really wanted to try jamaican food and i think if i went to a better restaurant i would've enjoyed it :( #it wasn't even a restaurant it was a bar with food in it. i should've known but i wanted to give the benefit of the doubt #i was fully dressed makeup and everything and then we walked inside and realized it's just a bar and got our bar food to go #then watched one piece at home. i was still in my dress and makeup so it counted as a date :) #love the lady working the front counter though i will think about her forever. ily girl #one day we'll try jamaican food but it will be at an actual sit down restaurant not a bar and i bet it'll be so good #the menu at this bar was weird bc it only let you order like 4 different foods depending on which day it is #i really wanted this like plantain sandwich type thing? but i couldn't order it bc it was on tuesday's menu #very sad... it looked divine #THEIR PLATAINS WERE SO GOOD i've never had a plantain so delicious in my life #also this bread they had!! it was like a sweet bread in the shape of a baguette. i think it was called festival? it was DELICIOUS #so the food wasn't all bad. just the goat curry that came out lukewarm and gave me a stomachache #honestly for bar food that's pretty ambitious so for that alone i give them credit #it didn't taste bad either. i just wish it didn't poison me

[lynsneakers]

.

#life has really sucked for an absurdly long time #but especially after 2020 when i lost my fluffy lil guy #feels like i've been on the brink of crying and losing my mind or dying of stress every damn day since #im tired i'm so fucking tired i'm so fucking angry at the world and everything in it and i wish i didn't exist

[abandoned-quiche]

living my mid-to-late teen years vicariously through deltarune due to the pandemic stealing them from me

#i really feel like i've missed a crucial part of my life and my development my. i guess my childhood. #i wish i had gotten to have a group of friends to be stupid with #we all fell apart after like middle school. and then i didn't make any more friends for years #and then the pandemic happened #i probably could have made some friends in the time between. but i was so certain i couldn't. if someone tried to interact with me #i wouldn't really engage. i would always be so certain someone had dared them to do it. #oh well. at least i suck a whole lot less now. i'm like a genuinely enjoyable person now

[7-oh-ta1]

Y'all I won't lie I be sad asl all the time

#lindsay speaks #// vent #this is the only way i know how to talk about my feelings to get them out of my chest so kindly ignore #i have a bad complicated relationship with my mom. i had an issue that's really be bothering me and can't talk to anyone about #because everyone just thinks I'm weird and brushes me off. so despite knowing better i try to talk to my mom about. #she brushes me off and acts like I'm weird and is like well I'm tired lol goodnight #like I'm sobbing on the phone to you and your my mom....... even if you don't feel like it's a big deal #it's something that's really bothering me. and i feel like you genuinely can't be arsed to say anything but stock #''that's just life'' quotes. like i know that that's why I'm in distres #and the stupid thing is she does this everytime i or my siblings are distressed but fuck i just really needed to talk to somebody #about how I'm feeling and just like every weak person i turned to my mom #i just wish i never said anything. #i know she's going to tell everyone i just i hate all of this and i hate i can't trust anybody to just let me be upset #sorry i didn't want to talk about fucking oatmeal and actually have issues i really need someone maybe MY MOM to just pat my back #being alive sucks so much how tf am i supposed to stay alive for the good things when i have nothing good of my own #i have nothing #not even parents and those come free with your fucking existence #btw I'm fucking stupid because she tells my aunt who thinks I'm a burden by being born every fucking thing because everytime i open up to #her i ''stress her out and she deserves to vent too'' #i hate this existence

[jeracith1735]

Just asked my mum about the Christian perspective on gay marriage and realised my parents almost definitely won't support me if I decide to get gay married 👍👍

#j's posts #feeling like shit! fun #honestly wish I'd never asked #dare i say that i want to fucking die? because i was doing pretty well depression-wise before this but now i think I'm going back to the-- #--state of mind that i was in when i still went to church. full time self loathing baby #love knowing that a chunk of people in my life never want me to love who i love #This fucking sucks jesus fuck #knew i wasn't really Christian anymore in my head but i didn't know how far I'd deviated

[snekdood]

the problem with conservatives is they think you challenging their beliefs is somehow oppressing them

#this is why i dont think punishing them physically necessarily works. while its a short term solution in the long run- if they have a #victim complex- which most conservatives who aren't just purely evil politicians kinda have been conditioned to have- they're just gonna #dig their heels in and count that as part of their supposed 'oppression' #they think you challengeing their precious binary. etc. is somehow oppressing them bc you challenge everything they've known and #have now since kinda grown attached to and the only lense they've seen the world through since forever #basically rocking their foundation of how they see reality- and since conservatives are afraid of change (kinda in the name) rocking #what they know makes them think you're oppressing them by making them actually think and be critical baout what they know #its like they take it as a judgement also. idk. as if their way of life is bad (which it for the most part kinda is) and that we're somehow #punishing them for believing in that life. it really does boil down to fear of the unknown and a desire to cling on to whats familiar. #'how dare you question my status quo lifestyle! everythings fine!! i swear!! im totally not in denial about how shit things've become!!!' #'everythins worked for me so far!!' aka they havent died yet. and are ignoring that other people are. and think their depressing life #somehow has something to do with other average people who are what. wearing make up and feather boa's. gods greatest sin of course dfhbhg #rather than the ruling class reinforcing a system that oppresses them and sucks them dry of their labour....... #but its fine!! guys!! remember?? its familiar. and we havent died yet. so its fine. man my back hurts and i wish i could take a 3 day break #i think we gotta also acknowledge that they're probably victims of abuse (since most conservatives are abusive too and probably inhereted #that trait from their even more conservative parents) and as victims of abuse... they probably do the same thing plenty of us have done #before too- where we didn't think anything better was possible/we could escape/we deserved better so we stayed in shitty situations for #longer than we deserved. and had to just think of it all as. fine. we havent died yet. whoevers abusing us has spared us from death. #so its fine. better than death. i guess. #how bleak of a worldview.

[queerghostboyo]

tbh gonna need literally everyone to not like the same characters I do :/ like even if we have the same interpretation on them, I love them in a different and better way... Like sorry ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#blorbo #legitimately i wish people didn't love the same characters as me #cos like? no. that one is MINE #like sometimes I'll enjoy an obscure character that no one cares about #and THAT sucks because how am i supposed to consume more content about them #but on the other hand #if i enjoy a character that everyone else also seems to enjoy #THAT sucks because that character is going to impact me for the rest of my life thank you very much #like I'm sure it's probably #the tism #but like i do genuinely feel like i understand and resonate with that character in a different way #and you (generic 'you') will never enjoy them as much as i do in such a strong and overwhelming way #:/ #wow i make my own posts sometimes #also it's worth noting that this can literally apply to the creator themself!!! #like it's not INTENTIONAL death of the author #but sometimes they just kinda don't make the character how i KNOW they should be #and that sounds really stupid lmao #anyways #i did make this post with specific blorbos in mind #so feel free to ask about my blorbos :3 #(ik that seems counterintuitive to the point I'm trying to communicate) #(but i do genuinely enjoy talking about my blorbos anyway lol) #/lh but also /srs