#like i literally just had to delete my blog for this stuff and here yall are

[ofbreathandflame]

im sorry im breaking my anti fast for this bc its literally the most idiotic thing i have ever seen.

"some people hate sjm for the racism in her books"

yeah NO SHIT.

that has always been the point.

thats literally the entire point of being anti sjm posts. thats literally all we talk about in the anti tags. but shortsightedness and an unhealthy relationship with these characters has always blinded y'all to that fact.

you see this is why i could not stomach conversations because you guys constantly make a mockery of the problems in sjm's work and only acknowledge the problems for a 'gotcha' moment. EVERY SINGLE TIME we have talked about how the racism in sjm's work affects the writing of her characters you guys have made it into an anti feysand problem, and by doing that you have willingly separated yourself from the problems in the story. the reality is that the racism affects the way these characters are written -- including your favs. do not dare twist the main message of antis to fit some twisted little point you want to make toward specific blogs. i have been on my last account for over two years and EVERY TIME i -- or any anti -- has talked about the way sjm's racism bleeds onto the text we have been undermine, ran off our blogs, sent hate mail. so yeah it pisses me off to no end to be sent the dumbest post in the anti tags to ever exist. yall do not care about her racism, her misogynoir. if you did, you wouldn't be calling people brain dead for daring to dislike your favorite ship for valid reason -- i.e. the racism. we talked about the complexities of how racist the portrayal of the illyrians were -- and we were dismissed as anti feysand and therefore 'braindead.' we talked about the way women of color and the allusions of FGM (female genital mutilation)-- and we were called anti feysands and then dismissed. stay out of the anti tags -- especially if you are the ones perpetuating these dynamics. i was ran off my blog for discussing these issues for two years. y'all sent hate mail, called me tamlin stan -- called others tamlin stans -- for even daring to discuss the racism in sjm works. that's not even touching the nehemia situation, or crescent city. fuck off the tags. you literally have a blog dedicated to this woman and her racist ass characters, you shoot down any criticism of them because of it, and then yall have the nerve to come into the tags for the some hehe hahah tamlin stan bs??? double fuck off. the anti sjm tag has always been a place for that criticism. always.

addition: and these problems are not just valid when discussing characters you don't like. the illyrians are written to brutes, with the bat boys operating as the 'model minority'. the story justifies the lack of infrastructure, and the misogyny (misogynoir depending on how you classify illyrian women), the lack of progress.

'its a culture problem'

'rhysand has tried, but they wont listen'

like do you know how crazy it is to write a group of people as permanently mentally stunted? to classify their women as nameless entities that our main character can shift in and out of to satisfy her supposed 'man of color' sexually? feyre cosplays as a woman of color for SEX, meanwhile in FIVE BOOKS we've met one named illyrian woman and shes described 'interesting,' but not as pretty as opposed to nesta and gwyn, mor, and feyre who are the prettiest people to walk the earth. that don't sound CRAZY to yall??? these people of color are left without leadership, without infrastructure, no access to a golden city, no access to their high lord, are forced to breed out warriors who live and die without ever getting to enjoy the city of velaris, the house of wind for survivors. all of that so that the maincharacters can live out that power fantasy. its racist. thats what it is. please think consider reading comprehension b4 yall make these gotcha posts because it really stinks of weirdness.

the illyrians are treated like rabid animals by their leaders, by everyone and then the responsibility is on them to somehow progress when everyone is unwilling to give them nothing more than scraps. like there's a real life counterpart to this, and yall arguments are very real and very damaging.

they are written by the author to be a permanent second class deserving of their position because they're minds somehow cannot comprehend any 'progression.' all of these characters including rhysand, feyre, mor, az, cassian, tamlin, nesta say racist things toward them because THE NARRATIVE thinks they're justified in saying them. like the moralizing is wild in this case bc all of them are allowed to get away with it. its not just tamlin or nesta, not just the valkyries (which is an ENTIRELY different scenario btw). like the idea that all of the bad can be ascribed to the 'bad' characters and the 'good' characters somehow don't feed into those racist tropes is WILD. rhysand literally told us -- the reader -- the in the war against slaves and their oppressors somehow it was an equal battle. like?????? somehow 'both sides were at fault' ignoring that one side WAS LITERALLY SLAVES. like can u imagine if someone looked at the Haitian revolution and was like....yeah the side of the oppressors was somehow on equal footing when the other side WAS ENSLAVED? how can u acknowledge this author is racist and then pretend that the racism only bleeds over to the characters you *shockingly* don't like?? yes -- there is a problem with feyre wearing illyrian wings BECAUSE SHES THE HIGH LADY. she made herself that title. of course that carries a different weight. the racism is ingrained in the text, not just some little trinket to flash when you want to moralize bullying a small group of people with strawman arguments.

#anti sjm #anon girl im BLEW FOR YOU #like imagine trying to chastise the community that was literally BUILT to critique the problems #and for what???? #a gotcha to the tamlin stans that don't even exist??? #yall are arguing with air #like i literally just had to delete my blog for this stuff and here yall are #in the tags kekeing like people havent been bullied for it #like yall are the champions for adversity \ #when yall are the ones propagating the nonsense to begin #ew ew #bc then its 'how could you not like feysand' #idk BC OF THOSE PROBLEMS #like did you think the author's bias was NOT going to factor into the way the characters are written? #it became 'pro tamlin this' pro nesta that #like the illyrians are r*cist to the T #and that was ignored for the sake of feysand #yall are real irra #but at least i know that yall understand the problems in these stories #yall just dont care #anti feysand #when we talked about the feyre wing situation yall went out of your way to mock it

[toulouseradiosilence]

hey not getting up you just like a gentle reminder since u Are a minor but like it's generally Not Normal for people to check every blog they reblog from. if they do, they just check the bio. publicly calling someone out for just having a sexuality can do tons of damage and honestly can get you a lot of hate which I don't want :[

you can keep yourself safe through blocking, deleting things, always adding a banner or note to say don't turn it sexual and things like that but that public callout was a shitty move.

this is genuinely meant to be a kind bit of advice by the way

hello, since you’re anonym I had to write this publicly, which I honestly don’t want since I already deleted the post. I’m not famous so I don’t think the person would receive any hate, or at least one person max (sorry if I’m wrong) I usually only have like 4-10 people who check my blog regularly who are rather quiet/ not confrontational. If my stuff blows up that’s luck or very cool mutuals that reblogs stuff lots.

So, i get what you mean and maybe it was a shitty thing to do, but I think it’s not the best idea to have an 18+ account without tagging 18+ tags, not making your account 18+ (wich is possible) or just genuinely looking not out more, I think that’s shitty. There are minors on this app who don’t want to be confronted with sexual stuff all the time, I’ve already seen enough and I really don’t want to see it on a regular basis. Like, it’d be okay if one person reblogged it and made it sexual(okay but still a bit shitty ofc) but after that about 10 people reblogged it and it felt like I was being dragged in that side of tumblr wich I don’t want. And none of them took caution and added 18+ tags or anything, wich I also think is shitty.

Sorry for writing a whole paragraph but I just want you and other people to understand me and my actions, even tho already took it down.

I just want people on tumblr to be more cautious with the stuff they post on here.❤️

(Sorry for any bad grammar or typos I am still learning and learnt English by myself when I was younger, so I’m not perfect)

ALSO, I just realized they deleted the post! Thank you yall, thank you for being respectful and responsible and sorry for calling you out publicly, next time I’ll also be more careful, I hope we both learnt something out of this❤️

oh, and you said “just having a sexuality”,just realized that. I feel like you don’t know what I meant?? They were talking about fingering, I’m literally lesbian/omnisexual myself and I don’t think talking about sexuality exposing kids to sexual stuff, talking about sex is tho.

[flamediel]

Hi babes. First of all, thank you all so much for the love and support you've been sending. I turned off my phone last night and I was a little scared to open tumblr this morning, but you guys made me smile, so thank you. I'll be responding to all your messages in a bit, but first I wanna make a more general post.

Now that I've calmed down from the shock, I'm honestly just fucking pissed. This was so fucked up, and I have some things to say

Ive decided i am NOT leaving tumblr. Im not deleting or abandoning this blog. Not yet anyway. I like this fandom and so far the positives outweigh the negatives.

Im also not turning off anon, because I like a lot of my anons and you guys can be so sweet. But I'm gonna he harsher about when I deal with.

I used to hate using the block button, esp for anons. Ik some things can be misconstrued and i want to give people the benefit of the doubt. But honestly that ends today. Any hate messages are getting blocked on the spot, and so is everything else that makes me uncomfortable. Mildly racist commentary? Blocked. Minors interacting with mine or others NSFW posts and content? Blocked. You can still disagree or call me out on stuff, but if its genuinely impossible for me to see it as anything but hate, I'm blocking you. If you think something you want to say might be taken the wrong way, dm me. We can sort it out there and ill be ait more lenient if you're not an anon.

Also, I have a hunch about who the hate anons might be. I talked to nana and noticed some patterns and ik some of yall have sketchy history. So if you're reading this, anon, just know im watching you boo. And if I ever feel certain enough I will be exposing you xoxo

I cant believe I have to say this in 2020 but if you're racist go deep throat a cactus lmao white people stop saying the n word challenge.

Don't send people suicide bait!! EVER!! THATS NLMOT OK TF

This is my blog. Ik im hosting fandom events and posting nice content but ultimately this is MY space. If I wanna criticise people ill criticise them. If I wanna support my friends ill support them. If you don't like that leave.

I do not get paid to be here. This is not my job in any way shape or form. I LIKE hosting events and talking to people and making fandom inclusive. The minute I stop liking these things I will stop doing them. I had so much planned for this month aldjkjkjdjs now I just can't be bothered to do any of it.

On the whole "popular blog" discourse. I didn't even know ali contacted some blogs before. Literally the idea that some people are cooler on tumblr of all places?? That shits hilarious im sorry. If you wanna be friends with a blog, if you want them to talk to you about drama and the boys or WHATEVER, or you think you're cool if you're friends w them for some reason, JUST DM THEM. literally everyone I've talked to here is down to make new friends. And the popular blogs are the ones I've seen being the nicest to me when I joined. Guys. Just message people instead of sending hate

If you wanna be friends w me or talk my dms are open but if it takes me a while to respond its bc I suck at opening those messages. Dont take it personally. If you get passive aggressive about it im blocking you

Anywayyyyy now that this is over. Im going back to posting about chris day TAKE TWO. yall have all day!! Send me cute chris stuff and ill be posting them throughout the day. Love you all, let's make this a good day x

#cnco fandom #hate #ramblings

[kwanfairy]

check in tag ✅

i was tagged by @choi-hae - much obliged as always my love (ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)

1. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR URL? my url usually changes with my current hyperfixation haha oops i dont remember which video it was but the editors called Byeongkwan a fairy and i was like "yes you are so right" (♡μ_μ)

2. ANY SIDE BLOGS? nope. i only have this clusterfuck of a mess lmao i do keep all my prev url's tho cause im a sentimental bitch

3. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ON TUMBLR? for almost 10 years (・_・) good lord

4. DO YOU HAVE A QUEUE TAG? i tried queueing stuff years ago for a short time so i for sure had one but i dont see the need to use the queue function as i dont post any own content so

5. WHY DID YOU START YOUR BLOG? i was 16/17 when i first got really into MCR and i looked up a bunch of pics and continuously stumbled across tumblr so i thought ya know this lil website seems to cater to my needs and 10yrs and 78 hyperfixations later here we are

6. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR ICON? dsjhajkdhj is there really an explanation needed????????? I MEAN LOOK AT MY LIL MAN PLS (ಥ з ಥ)

7. WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR HEADER? because i'm a huge ass simp for the boyfrriends but also mobile didnt let me change it to junhee getting smacked in the face with a balloon (but i will prob try again soon cause its just too good of a moment bless)

8. WHAT'S YOUR POST WITH THE MOST NOTES? like i said im not a content creator but the boyfriends made me do this and this (this one here is the actual post with the most notes but i didnt even credit the source and should prob delete it)

9. HOW MANY MUTUALS DO YOU HAVE? pls i have no idea literally anyone who follows me or who i am following is my beloved regardless if we follow eachother or not

10. HOW MANY FOLLOWERS DO YOU HAVE? i'd prob have 3000 if i wouldnt block all the porn bots i have 400+

11. HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU FOLLOW ...39 💀 im just very picky while complaining about my dash being dry af

12. HAVE YOU EVER MADE A SHITPOST? as i dont talk much on tumblr nothing really comes to mind but im sure ive made 1 or 2 in all those years

13. HOW OFTEN DO YOU USE TUMBLR EACH DAY? i check in a few times throughout the day but become more active before i go to sleep

14. DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT WITH ANOTHER BLOG? WHO WON? lmao no im not one to fight with ppl online. if theres someone i heavily disagree with i either unfollow or block them

15. OPINIONS ON "YOU NEED TO REBLOG THIS" POSTS? i hate the pressuring nature of those posts.. thankfully i am capable of forming my own opinions/stances and advocate them respectfully

16. DO YOU LIKE TAG GAMES? yeeeee!! as mentioned im a very introverted and timid person but i love doing these cause by tagging other ppl i can indirectly tell them that i love them (while learning about them) and by being tagged i too feel seen and appreciated („ಡωಡ„) plus they are fun in general!

17. DO YOU LIKE ASK GAMES? ive never done any but i dont think id like them. i def prefer tag games!

18. WHICH OF YOUR MUTUALS IS TUMBLR FAMOUS? yall are famous to me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

19. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON A MUTUAL? yall are very much loved by me (ง ื▿ ื)ว ♡ !!

20. TAGGING @stitchzmile @minbinlix @emmy-clou @awwfuckno @hotarukanzaki @brightstarinthesky as usual feel free to ignore~

#tag game #thanks again honey im always super excited when you tag me in these <3 !!!!

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS

#tags #tagging #tagged yet again #sadjkjksdajad #what a mess #im so basic wtf

[89098909989]

@lovesick

@lovesick. please stay away from this person. They send their followers to attack blogs who have less followers than them and who have no platform to defend themselves. They send their followers after people who have less followers than them and who have no platform to defend themselves ONLY because they didn’t agree on something with that person. And their followers are no better. They attack smaller creators without knowing the both sides of the story. And then this person and their followers act like they don’t support toxic behavior and they are nice people and THAT person is the “monster”. We can see who the real monsters are here. This person sends their followers after people who have no platform to defend themselves and who have less followers than them JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD A DISAGREEMENT and then act like a nice person who doesn’t support toxic behavior. @lovesick, you are telling people to “stay away from this person” who you send your followers after when they have no platform to defend themselves, only because you had a disagreement with them. Who should people be staying safe from? You send your followers after people who have less followers than you and who have no platform to defend themselves until your followers attack them so much that they delete Tumblr but THEY are the “monster” and you are “the victim” here? stop. You are sending your followers after smaller accounts to attack those people and then act like they are the monster and you are the victim. Like how? You have much more followers than them and they have no platform to defend themselves and you send all your followers to attack them but somehow YOU are the victim? Im saying it again, you send your followers witch hunting after accounts who have less followers than you and who have no platform to defend themselves only because you had a disagreement with them, and then you act like you are the victim and you are such a nice person and THEY are the monster and people should stay safe from them while you LITERALLY JUST SENT YOUR FOLLOWERS AFTER THAT PERSON WHO DOESNT HAVE A PLATFORM TO DEFEND THEMSELVES. you send your followers after any account smaller than you and who had a disagreement with you and then try to act like the victim when they literally got attacked by a bigger blog and have no platform to defend themselves. Everything you are doing is ironic. You send your followers after people who have less followers than you and who have no platform to defend themselves only because they had a disagreement with you, and then tell people to “block them and stay safe from them” and try to act like the victim when THEY are the ones who are getting attacked by hundreds of people because of you and now you are saying people should “stay safe from them” WHO SHOULD PEOPLE STAY SAFE FROM? You send your followers witch hunting after smaller blogs who have less followers than you and who doesn’t have a platform to defend themselves only because they had a disagreement with you, they can’t do anything about it when hundred sof people are attacking them because they have little to no followers and don’t have a platform to defend themselves, but somehow THEY are the monster and YOU are the victim? Who should people stay safe from?  Now watch their followers attack me after this because I told the truth. Maybe if you will stop for a second and realize that you can make mistakes too you won’t be like this Qlovesick. Just stop and try to understand how toxic and harmful this is, since you are so against people being hateful. This person Is also really hypocritical. They really talk about how hateful people suck and how their followers should be staying safe from them but then send their followers to attack a blog who have less followers than them until they delete Tumblr. They tell people to “get therapy” and shame people but when someone does the same thing to THEM they make a call out post. And their followers who don’t have any clue about the situation goes after that person because they are a bunch of sheeps. This person and their followers are completely toxic, and please do not make any contact with them. Now watch them come after me. But I won’t care. If yall want to play this hateful game, have fun playing with your selves. Im posting this and then leaving. Tumblr Is a really toxic platform, they assume you are cisgender transphobic heterosexual and homophobic only because they had a disagreement with you. Please if you are reading this and you are suffering from OCD, anxiety or depression or if you overthink a lot DELETE THIS APP. Tumblr is a toxic and a hateful platform while the people who are making it toxic and hateful are apparently the ones who are opposed to being hateful and toxic. Tumblr users do stuff like this and then question why they aren’t being taken seriously. Please delete this app. It is a toxic environment and if you are not like the bigger blogs who are on here they will attack you until you want to close your account, and then act like they are the victim. Please delete this app before it does you harm. It is toxic and hateful. What I said is my own experience, have common sense and read what I said. If they make a call out post because I only told the truth, they will only prove what I said. Now watch their followers come after me, but I won’t care because I will be deleting the app after this so don’t even waste your time. If y’all want, yall can continue playing this toxic hateful game. Have fun playing it with yourselves. I just told the bare truth and now I am leaving. So don't even waste your time try to contact me. I just wanted to say this and now that I told all the bare truth im deleting Tumblr and never getting into this toxic environment ever again. this was it. Happy New Years. Goodbye.

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 16

haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut

Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D

Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill​ and @ayoshi​) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3

Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??

It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some. 

Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19

That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019

Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!

Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun

@lumalinrose-sims​ said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--

thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P

@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims) 

not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then. 

Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!

thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3

Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.

fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)

Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name

Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)

Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me

well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3

Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.

If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.

Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?

About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.

Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!

Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon 

Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?

zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.

Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?

this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?

Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above

mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below  👹 😳

Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download   

Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that

Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!

@primadonnaliferiseandfall​ said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!

Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!

Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀

Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.

Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫

Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍

Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?

thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.

@graphicpickles​ said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"

hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not: https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb

Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review

because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗

@goddesssimmerina​ said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*

awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P

@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?

AHarris00Britney

Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?

Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics. 

Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight

It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔

Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.

I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.

Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty

yes ma’am now where is the comeback

- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks

see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk

#asks #nonsims #saviorhide #i dont even know why i decided to answer stuff tonight it is 1:32AM now and i started an hour ago #let me go be productive and do something like lay in bed playing Animal Crossing Pocket Camp for 2 hours til I pass out #actually let me post a teaser idgaf its 2am but when else am i gonna post it

[dontyouhearmehowling]

oh my god. Ok so I just scrolled through your blog and my heart hurts because there is so much love and just so much stuff I can relate too and I just ahhh damnnn it I cant even but like can I please have the story of your relationship with this girl your with? please? i'm a hopeless romantic I feel too much I love so hard my own love life is complicated but i know the kind of love you talk about thats exactly how i love the love of my life too so yours is a story I need to hear

ok so. it all started on April 31st, 2018. i reblogged one of those ask games and she sent me an emoji that said “i’m too scared to talk to you but i think you’re great” and i was like do it!!! and she did!!!! she texted me after i had already gone to sleep tho, so i only answered the next day. but then we talked all day. and the next. and the next. and we never ran out of things to talk about and even only knowing her for a few days i already felt comfortable enough with her to talk about anything?? it was wild. since day 1 we’ve had this connection that i’ve never had with anyone else and its my favorite thing in the world. after like a week we already had a bunch of inside jokes, something that i’d never had before, and i was already crushing on her. ok so we became very close friends like immediately, and i mostly ignored my crush on her bc i thought she didn’t like me back and usually i’d get meaningless crushes on everyone at first before i met her. but then this other girl and i started flirting and i realized i didnt like her bc i liked c too much, so i broke things off and kinda went like “oh shit this is real” and decided that i’d just stay friends with c until i eventually couldnt take it anymore and had to tell her abt my feelings bc thats how i am. anyways ok cool meanwhile i made her watch the good place on rabb.it with me which will be relevant later.

ok so fast forward to may 21st or something around that time. its time to sleep bc i have school the next day so we say goodnight, but then i guess she says something or reblogs something and i get sad bc i realize she doesnt like me back. so i make some hashtag sad posts abt yearning and then i realize i told her i was going to sleep and i didnt want her to think i didnt want to talk to her so i text her again and say like “ok i was going to go to sleep but then i got sad abt my crush” and SHE GOES “you have a crush????????” and im there like. what in the hell bc not only did i not try to hide it At All, i constantly posted about it and had an entire tag about her and i thought it was pretty obvious. so anyways i go “yes?? i thoought you knew that?? im literally always posting about it??” and she asks me to talk abt the crush and who it is. i say “just stalk the tag if u want, im going to sleep” then shes like “nO WAIT WHO IS IT” and im like. blatantly ignoring that and my heart is already beating out of my chest but she Really wants to know and then at one point i say “please dont make me answer that” so shE SAYS “you’re making me think that its me” and i say “i dont know what you want me to say” and SHE GOES “I WANT YOU TO SAY THAT ITS ME BC I HAVE A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU” so i just. die. right then and there. also yknow we talk about it and its like after 1 am and im just happier than i’ve ever been. ok so 2 days later she asks me out Officially and its great and shes the cutest gf ever and she made me feel more wanted than i’d ever felt in my entire life. then 6 days later she sends me a big big big text on tumblr and long story short (bc it was kinda personal), she would be deleting her all social media for the summer.

so she was gone. and we had only dated for a week at this point, but we’d known each other for 2 months, and i already loved her. i already knew she was the love of my life. i didnt even try to move on, i’d tell people i didnt wanna move on cuz i knew i was meant to love her. i had another blog like this that i used to talk about how much i loved and missed her (so like. exactly like this). i literally reasoned with myself that like. that happened because before i met her i was in a really bad place after a terrible relationship and i was almost giving up on finding someone who actually made me feel loved bc i thought it would never happened, so i was like “ok so i was in a really bad place, so the universe brought my soulmate a little early just for a while so that i would know i had to hold on, and when its actually time for us to be together, it will bring us to each other once again” like i actually told myself that, in those words. and yknow what? i wasnt even wrong. on july 15th she texted me from an empty tumblr with her old url and at first i literally couldnt believe it but we talked for hours and hours and i asked her what happened bc i thought she was disconnecting for the summer and she said “i was. i am. i just couldnt not talk to you anymore” and she said that she thought about me every single day, and i told her i missed her and she said she didnt text sooner bc she thought i’d be angry at her and ofc i wouldnt, i could never be angry at her and besides, she was just taking care of herself and i said i dont think i could be anything less than head over heels for for, and she said she felt the same way, but wasnt ready to be more than friends yet. but that had always been more than enough for me. just having her in my life would always be more than enough for me. so we stayed friends.

then, on august 9th i got this ask.

and she saw it after i said i was gonna go to bed (bc again, i had school the next day) and she texted me a whole thing about how that was the nicest thing anyone had ever said about her and that i should be asleep but she had to get it out of her chest and that her anxiety made it hard for her to show how much i meant to her so she was sorry if i didnt know and this would probably make no sense but she was tired of keeping it to herself bc shes the luckiest person alive for having met me and that it was gonna be so hard because shes so difficult (shes not) and her anxiety is difficult but that she literally spent every night thinking about me and of buying plane tickets to come see me so that she could be with me. then she was like “im sorry if this is uncomfortable to you and you can just ignore it but i think im in love with you and this is over text and not romantic at all (it was the most romantic night of my life) but you’re asleep (i wasnt) and we arent together but i want to be one day” and until this i was Trying to fall asleep and then i checked my phone that kept RINGING and died a thousand times over and started to answer and she sent other texts saying “i’ve never felt this way about anyone before i’m so in love with you its fucking ridiculous and this is gonna be so complicated but fuck i want this so bad / i’m sorry it took me so long / would you move to new york with me?” and i was This Close to literally fucking exploding like. how the hell was this happening how was it not a DREAM. so we talked and i obviously said i loved her too and eventually she asked me out and thats still probably the best night of my life. other highlights: “i’ve loved you way before august 9th so jot that down” and “off topic but i love you / you’re honestly my other half” and, after i said “you cant make me laugh its 2am”, she answered “i’m going to make you laugh for the rest of your life so help me god” and thats my favorite thing anyone has ever said to me probably and so far she’s kept her word.

anyways we got back together and then she told me that she never even told her friends she broke up with me??? bc that way she could keep pretending we were still together???? literally like sjdksndk imagine being this loved. i dont have to. anyways she wrote poems abt me sometimes and her christmas gift for me was gonna be a book with all her poems and she called it “what we owe to each other” because of the good place (remember how i said it’d be relevant later? its later) bc like she said that when we were watching tgp together on rabb.it thats when she realized that she Really Truly liked me like For Real. and the inscription on the book was going to be “to the girl i love / and what i owe her” and. yall. i cry. anyways one of the poems had a huge impact on us. heres the story:

and she got them but we broke up before she got to mail them to me. what happened was she had some mental health problems and she said she couldnt give me what i needed at the time but knew i’d still give her my all bc thats just how i am and she thought it wouldnt be fair so she broke things off to work on her mental health. she said she would need some time before we could be friends. the last thing we said was that we loved each other. this was in like november 2018, and we didnt talk for months. i actually tried to move on this time after a while, but it didnt take. and then i gave up for good. havent tried since. but anyways, then, on march 11th, 2019, i had my first day of college back in my home country, and we have this “pranks”/games that seniors get to do to the freshmen, and one of them required eggs, and they asked us to paint them, so i panted mine as iron man bc it was easy, but c LOVES iron man. like. LOVES. like in a Whole New Level of loving. once when we were dating she said she loved me more than tony stark and i was like. shook. like she tattooed “T.S” on her ankle after him. u get the point. she loves him very much, its adorable and endearing and i love it. anyways. so i sent her a picture of it saying like “you dont have to answer this but i made this for my university and i thought you would like it” and she answered and IMMEDIATELY something clicked and we talked and talked and talked and it was never weird or awkward or uncomfortable. it never is with her. its incredible, i cant explain it. i Know shes my soulmate like thats the ONLY possible explanation for this kind of connection. its unreal. anyways. we became friends again! all was well.

then one beautiful night she drunk texts me sndjkajs she sends me so many texts and says it sucks that we live so far away and that she saw my posts (in this particular case, one that said something about like. when she talked about love now, was it about someone else?) and she said that it wasnt. and then she went to sleep and i only saw the texts when i woke up and i was DYING bc we had a 4 hour difference and it’d take a while for her to wake up. when she did, we talked and she said she wasnt over me and was scared she might never be, and even though we were still gonna stay friends, it was nice to know that she still loved me. ok so fast forward a bit more and i was starting to wonder if she’d moved on again, when she finds out her best friend had a crush on her, and that conversation ends up with her saying “it was 100% platonic for me / sorry if thats weird i just wanted you to know that” and it was NOT weird it was GREAT NEWS bc i was Hella jealous of her best friend and at first i wondered if they were dating and anyways the fact that she wanted me to know that was a pretty good hint that she still had feelings for me. ngl im still somewhat jealous of h (c’s best friend), but thats just bc im an insecure lil bitch and also bc they get to go out and do stuff together that i cant do with c bc of the distance, yknow? but anyways. then she went on a graduation trip in mid to the end of june and she bought me a magnet. just. out of nowhere. i cannot stress enough how Incredibly unexpected this was. so much so that i actually convinced myself that it meant she was over me????? literally. what the fuck. anyways we named him together and coincidentally (or bc of soulmate powers. who knows) we both had the same favorite names. i still love that.

okay so then we go to july 29th, 2019. first of all theres one of my favorite interactions Ever which was like after i was venting about something and i was thanking her and i said “you’re always here for me” to which she answered “nowhere else i’d rather be” and i still think thats peak romance and i will take no criticism on this. anyways so then she sent me a poem that she wrote based on a song i’d sent her (the song i called “heaven is a place” and its the BIGGEST mood for being in love and i sent it to her bc it was how i felt about her so her writing a poem about it?? literally the best thing ever. love it) anyways it was a beautiful poem and i cried and got very emotional and kinda went too far in my compliments (aka being very obvious about my romantic feelings) and then i was like oh no sorry if i made u uncomfortable and she was like. “you have NEVER. EVER EVER EVER EVER made me uncomfortable” “you’re the only person on planet earth i am comfortably myself around” and “there’s nothing you could ever say that i wouldn’t wanna hear” and anyways it was just very good and romantic conversation even tho we were just cough cough platonic hashtag gal pals hashtag no homo ✌️ and then she was like ok wait. i need to talk to u abt something. and in short she said she was waiting for us and i was like well what are you waiting for exactly? and she was like idk?? for us to accidentally bump into each other in new york in a few years?? WHICH WAS LITERALLY WHAT I’D DAYDREAM ABOUT BACK IN JUNE 2018 BEFORE SHE CAME BACK OKAY so anyways we had a Great conversation and said i love you about a thousand times each and she decided she was gonna buy tickets to come see me. and then she dID like TWO DAYS LATER. lichrally. queen of impulsivity but in the best way possible.

—————

ok quick edit here cuz i forgot to say that when i found out she was coming i asked for my mom’s help to make a necklace pendant for her from scratch. my mom works with prosthetics so she has the material to make jewelry and back when c and i were dating in 2018 i had made this lil design for a necklace that had the moon and the ocean (bc duh) and i was gonna give it to her for valentines day in 2019 but we broke up before that so i didnt get the chance, but when i found out i was meeting her i knew i had to. so i made the necklace in wax, like this:

and my mom took it to her work and heated it up to melt it and keep the shape of it to fill with silver, and this was the result:

i gave it to her when she got here and she wore it while she was here and it made me so happy. ok edit over

—————

ok so we kept being like couple-y but not officially in a relationship bc we didnt want to make her anxiety worse. also at one point she was like “so about the ‘i love you more than the moon/ocean’ thing, since we BOTH love BOTH of the moon AND the ocean, i think its only Fair if we update our love declarations to ‘i love you more than the mocean’ bc its mix of both but thats not a word, buT its pronounced exactly like ‘motion’. therefore we should both start saying ‘i love you more than the motion’”. so now we have both the wonderful, romantic, original version, and the NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL DO U HEAR ME C??? version :) and after this day she always started with the WORST!!!!!! version, and i always started with the Only Valid Version, but we’d still answer each other’s ofc because. well. thats love i gues?? it sorta goes like this though: her: i love you more than the motion / me: i hate u / me: i literally hate u so much / me: i Also love you more than the motion

but anyways she was coming to visit me but the plane ticket wasnt for my home country it was for where i was going to university at (a new university, i was starting over) and when i first got here on this campus, i didnt have a working phone number for this country, and i wouldnt be able to access the wifi for 3 days, so i had no way of talking to her. it was TERRIBLE and i missed her more than anything in my LIFE but when i got wifi (after CRYING to the people here bc theyre the most unorganized uni ever and i was already very overwhelmed and stressed) i immediately called her and she’d sent me over 100 text messages dkfjssjks it was amazing, there were two (2) videos of her singing (which is like. objectively the best thing in the world, and the song was rlly romantic and i love it sm when she showed it to me for the first time she said it made her think abt me), a poem, AND a HUGE text with “i love you” written like. a THOUSAND TIMES. seriously i have a gif of it opening and scrolling bc it was so long that the text wouldnt show up directly on the chat screen and u have to click on it to see the rest. i’d never felt more loved in my entire life by anyone ever. anyways so then it came the day for her to get here and i had to wake up at 5 am to go get her at the airport and the uber was like $40 but who CARES it was the best day of my LIFE and i got there 20 minutes earlier bUT GUESS WHAT SO DID SHE (hashtag just soulmate things) then we facetimed the entire time while she was walking through the airport and getting her luggage and then she hung up to walk to the door where i was and we hugged for like 5 minutes and we were totally in people’s way and also almost fell but it was the best thing in the world and i never should’ve let her go. but, we had to go home, so i did. and we spent 4 days together and im not gonna go into details bc this is already too long but u can always send me another ask about her visit if ur not a coward. also i bought her a hoodie from my uni and whenever she wears it i just. die. in short, those days were the happiest i’ve ever been. this campus res had never felt like home before that friday and it hasnt again since that monday, but i swear to god, during those 4 days, this was the only place i could possibly belong.

anyways then she left and i cried for the entire uber ride home and then i cried all day. lmao. also when she was here she gave me the poetry book, the magnet, and the bracelet. still wear the bracelet every single day and i love it more than anything. but then personal stuff happened and we kinda stopped being couple-y again and we’re just friends now but before new years i asked her if she still loved me and she said yes and she said she’d tell me if it changed so ✌️✌️ im assuming it hasnt. even tho my brain is a bitch and everyday its like. today. today is the day. this is when its gonna happen. buT yknow we’ve spent months before without even talking to each other and we got through that still in love, so i mostly ignore it. and tbh i know that actually like, even if we grow apart now (god forbid, but still) we’ll find our way back to each other eventually. like, i’ve said this before and i’ll say it again: nothing, not even the universe itself, can convince me that shes not my soulmate. and even if it turns out i’m not hers, loving her is still the greatest honor i can think of.

another edit: also i started drawing recently and the first person i’ve ever finished drawing was her and also (surprise surprise @c since you’re already seeing all my feelings anyway) bc of my second drawing i almost missed the deadline for one of my midterms (which was a take-home test) bc instead of writing it i spent the entire day before the deadline finishing the drawing which was a secret valentines day gift (secret as in she didnt know it was supposed to be a gift, she thought it was just a drawing inspired by a quote that she loves) and i finished at 2 am but shes 3 hours behind so for her it was still 11 pm which MEANS it was still valentines day so it still counts, i win, lesbian rights!

#mine #l #answered #dont rb #i dont think anyone will but ​this is personal and i dont want to risk it getting out #i wanna have this bc i love telling people this story and next time someone asks i’ll just send them this post

[thatspencerinthesky]

its really weird that a) i still do not have a specific “Brand” i literally jump from hyper fixation to hf and generally assume my followers will just unfollow if they dont like the content b) ive had this blog since i was 14/15 and rarely delete things so theres some cringe ass stuff on here if you go all the way back c) i literally talk to no one. like my messages are open if you want to talk and ill send asks here and there but im an anxiety adult and cant manage reaching out. ive had mutuals on this hell site for over 4 years and never talked to them outside offering comfort, hell some of them STARTED as friends but just kinda ended up tapering off. d) i openly post about mental health and politics  AND YET i somehow managed to hit 680 followers (after cleaning out pornbots so theoretically these are all real accounts unless theyve fooled me) yall i dont even see the appeal and its my fuckin blog but thank you

like this blog is a dumpster fire but thank you if you enjoy it.

also. im always down to talk. if we are mutuals dont hesitate. send me weird ass asks or messages if you want. i enjoy that. i really only ask that anyone under 17 please dni message wise bc i am very open about the fact that im turning 21 in july (7/5/2019 i will turn 21). you can follow the blog, like the content, whatever i literally cannot come to your house and stop you, but please do not come in my inbox if you are under 17. im just not comfortable with minors reaching out past “hey i like the blog” or “nice meme”. I am an adult. It is inappropriate in my eyes for me to have in depth friendships with children. Please respect this

anyways sorry if thats a bit off putting i just wanted to kinda. i guess say all this at once? thank you guys for 680. theres potentially 680 of yall who like my content. even if 100 blogs are abandoned thats over 500 living breathing humans. holy fuck. thank yall

#600 #bad day #link.jpg

[chanshine]

What what tf happened where were you

It’s a loooooong story but i was planning on explaining everything so i’ll do it here! Short ver: i got suspended for saving & not using a huge amount of URLs.

Long ver: under the read more (for anyone that loves drama and wants to waste 5 mins listening to me complain) 

So! 23 days ago, on Monday 26 of February i got an email from Tumblr informing me that my account got suspended because i had saved and never used a huge amount of URLs. Ridiculous reason to get suspended right? but i did have a LOT of URLs i didn’t even want to use (more than 100 for sure) so it makes sense why Tumblr wanted to “take action”. Now, if you’re wondering why i had all those URLs saved, it’s pretty simple. I saved them when i first started this blog, almost 4 years ago and i never deleted them because it takes a lot of time and i was lazy and i didnt thought tumblr would actually suspend me or anything fdkjdfjkfdk

Anyway on that sad Monday i wake up, go to work, scroll through my dash and notice that i cant reblog or post anything. At first i thought it was a bug but then i noticed that i cant post from my phone too (browser & app) and i couldnt find my blog. That was when i panicked real hard. I checked my Line account and i saw my friends trying to figure out what happened with me and if i was okay cause they thought i deactivated or smth. At that point i (still panicked and scared af) send a message to the tumblr support team asking what tf happened to my blog. After i send that message i checked my email to see if they got it and that was when i found out about my suspension and everything. The email Tumblr send me about it, it said that i had to delete all the URLs, inform them and they would restore my access to my account. I was pretty shocked tbh but that line “Let us know when that’s been done so we can restore your access.” made me feel a lil better cause i thought my blog would go back to normal very soon lmaoSo then i started deleting all the URLs and they were so many and it takes so much time that i had to stop and finish deleting them at home (i was at work and i had to actually do my job you know fdjkdfkj). At around 8pm my time i was back home, all the URLs deleted and ready to get my blog back. I replied to the email tumblr send me, telling them im sry and that i deleted all the URLs and that was it, that was when the drama started. 

I waited 2 days and Tumblr didn’t reply to me. Not a “we got your reply, we’ll restore your account soon” no anything. Complete silence from them. I messaged them again and again for a whole week and nothing, no reply from the support team. I ended up making a new blog and messaged them from there (in case they blocked my email or smth) and no answer from them again. My friend Ana emailed them too about my blog and they told her “tell your friend to contact us” (lmao i was doing that for a week and yall ignored me but okayy). I messaged them again and again and nothing. I even send a report at Tumblr Security, complaing that the support team is ignoring me. I send that from a different email (in case the email tied to my blog was indeed blocked) and i did get a reply from a dude named Doug, saying i should email tumblr security again but from the email connected to my blog. I was so happy when i got that response, i thought Doug was my hero but sike, i couldnt message Tumblr Security from my email and when i told Doug he ignored me.

After about 50 emails from me and some friends who messaged tumblr about me (and got ignored just like me) i had lost all hope, i stopped messaging the support team and my plan was to message them again after ½ weeks when they would have forgotten about me and how they were ignoring me and maybe someone would reply to me by accident lmao (i didnt really believe that would work but i wasnt gonna go away without an explanation). But i was rly convinced i wouldnt get my blog back so i made a new blog a few days ago and saved the 3 good URLs i could use for my new blog. 

That was until today. Today i woke up thinking i will finally start my new blog and i was thinking of ways to track all the gifs i posted on chanshine and reblog them so i had them on my new blog etc etc. Later at work i decided to message tumblr one more time (before i gave them a break and started my plan from above) and that email was so ridiculous lmao i srly send them this: “hello, its me your sad girl Mary. I just want to ask a lil question from the lovely support team. Will i ever get my blog back or should i just make a new one lmao”. I didn’t think anyone would reply tbh, i was ready to get ignored but after some hours, when i got home i checked my email one last time and saw that they did ignore that message BUT! they replied to the one they send me 23 fucking days ago! Their reply was very simple “Hello, Thanks for letting us know. We’ve restored full access to your account.” and tbh i wont even ask for an explanation, they might suspend me for good fdjkdfjkdf

After i saw this email i freaked out, opened tumblr and saw that i had messages (before i couldnt open the messages cause my blog “didnt exist”) and i saw that i can make posts and find my blog and url and all dfkjdfjk

So yeah, thats all it, thats what happened and after living all of that i got a few last things to say:

1) DELETE ALL YOUR SAVED URLS I DONT CARE HOW CUTE OR RARE THEY ARE IF YOU DONT USE THEM DELETE THEM ALL DFKJDFKJDF (or at least reblog smth on them from time to time so they arent completely empty)

2) The Tumblr Support Team is a joke, i don’t know what they were doing all these days, i literally informed them i deleted all the URLs on the same day they suspended me and they have done absolutely nothing. So try your best to never end up needing the Support Teams help cause you aint gonna get it.

3) I think my suspension (more like, tumblr checking my blog) came after an american dude claimed my olympics gifs cause that literally happened on the same night so yeah, be careful of not giffing stuff that “Jonathan Cheban” thinks he owns or he’s gonna claim them and make tumblr delete them

#if anyone is interested dkjdfkjdf #sry for any typos btw #chanonymous

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

#stormy speaks #digimon

[renegade-shepard-archived]

tag time!

i was tagged my @the-shifty-cow & @lilithleelynn thnx friends!

RULES: answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you are contractually obligated to know

TAGGING: @vixilancia @glowsh3p @adventure-butt @thedarwini @you-are-a-program @ta-mars-space @thatswhatshiisaid @bronzeagelove @joufancyhuh @pavustive (u guys obviously dont have to do this but id love it if u did!)

Nicknames: ryn (w/e u wanna call me rly) ive also had a shit ton of gamertags like cid & moh that ppl still call me

Gender/pronouns: he/him

Star sign: capricorn

Height: 5′ im smol

Time: 7:14pm est

Birthday: dec 24th

Favorite bands: i like a lot of bullshit from the 80s and 90s

Favorite solo artist: i honestly have no idea. i just listen to spotify on random

Song stuck in your head: i posted this on here a few days ago but its still stuck in my head not alone - matt & kim

this is rly long so the rest is under the cut if u care ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Last movie you watched?: RIPD

Last show?: i cant even remember i rarely watch shows. probably stranger things?

Why did you create your blog?: as i got older & couldnt hang out w/my gang as much it got a little lonely i guess in the sense that i was constantly surrounded by ppl w/different interests than me. &my family &best friend at the time only ever made fun of my interest in gaming. so tumblr was a nice place to go and create bonds w/ppl who shared those interests. &then a rly close friend of mine at the time that i met on here had sent me over their photoshop &taught me how to make simple gifs. ive deleted a few times and remade but ive never rly left. being able to easily join a community of ppl who all share love for something u love to is rly something special

What do you post?: videogame content mainly with a smattering of random shit i like and a sprinkle of memes

Last thing you googled?: if alistair had a last name hah

Other blogs: i used to run content specific blogs back in the day. i dont anymore yall can suffer in this fresh hell w/me

AO3: i dont have one. i dont think i could find the time to write, create content, draw &do daily life shit. & i actually dont read fanfiction ._. my ideas of characters never match anyone elses close enough so its actually anxiety inducing to read other ppls stuff. but im sure ur all great writers! (i always try to throw a like out to all my mutuals when i see their fanfiction posted on here)

Do you get asks?: lately i do. a few times a week at least. its amazing u r all amazing thank u for being so interested in sebastian &sending me all the nice tidings &everything else D: <3

How did you get the idea for your URL?: i just fucking love renegade shepards sheeeit

I follow: 202

Followers: 899

Average hours of sleep: idk like 4? insomnia blows

Lucky number: i dont have one but my favorite is 2 and idky tbqh

Instruments: i used to play the saxaphone >>

What are you wearing?: zelda pajamas &a tshirt that says the real guy the best guy

Dream job: i had always wanted to be a movie director, laywer, or therapist. right now i just wanna have a job lol

Dream trip: to the fridge

Favorite food: a hearty beef stew or any kind of marinated meat w/some plain rice. i eat like a fkn peasant

Significant other?: nah

Last book I read: probably the satanic bible? god its literally been over a decade rly. ive never been into reading.

Top 3 fictional universes: bioshock, mass effect, world of warcraft

#tag meme #about me

[bluethepaladin]

I just lost a friend over something so stupid, and I’m so mad. I want to scream.

Somebody literally had the audacity to use my situation with Hurricane Harvey to promo their blog.

As most of you know, I was hit kind of hard by Harvey. I don’t post about it too much, because it’s Depressing and Unfun, and tumblr is mostly my way to escape. So a while back, when the floodwaters had just retreated, my friend on tumblr came to me wanting to vent, and I thought they were asking for advice. After a few back and forths, I realized they didn’t want my advice and just wanted to vent. But like, I have a lot on my plate right now. And because I thought we were friends, I thought I could be honest about that. So I sent a polite message saying 

“Okay somewhere along the line I think I misunderstood what you wanted from me. I thought you were asking for advice, which is why i offered it. Since we're friends, I'll be honest with you. For about the next 3 days it's going to be super duper rough for me, and I've got a lot on my plate. On a normal day I would be 1000% down to listen to you vent and be a Supportive and Good Friend™ but I just don't have the mental or emotional capacity to do that right now. I'm sorry, I want to be there for u to listen to you vent, and you can totally lay it all on me like at any other time and I will be glad to hear it, but for now and the next 3 days, I just can't handle it.”

They responded with “that’s fine.” and nothing else, so I said “Thank you so much for understanding” and they just. Stopped talking to me. The next day I sent a message saying that I hope they had a great day, and sorry for being a downer. No response.

Two days later, I asked them how their day was. They said “fine. you?” Since, again, I had asked to not talk about Deep things, I glossed over the fact that my house was being ripped apart by helpful neighbors, and also mentioned I had class tomorrow. Their response? 

“i'm fine. hope you have a good day in class tomorrow.”

Clearly, that is the end of the conversation. So I just figured, hey, they’re probably not in the mood to talk right now, So I said I’d leave em to it, and logged off. 

Two days later, I see a post on my dash. It’s them asking for a promo. The tags are this: #i think an ex mutual is badmouthing me ://// #because i didnt want to talk to them when they wanted to talk #so i think theyre like name dropping me now #but anyway im also close to my next k

Cool. Fine. Whatever.

But then I see an ask on my dash

Anon: You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but why would they badmouth you? If you don't mind me asking?

Answer: nah it’s cool here’s the storythe other day i was ranting to them about something that was bothering me, and they were talking to me about it and stuff but then they just snapped at me and told me they couldn’t deal with me for the next couple of days (because they were dealing with the aftermath of Harvey and like okay that’s fine that’s cool i understand please by all means go deal with that don’t even worry about me my issues aren’t as important) so we didn’t speak for a few days. i gave them their space. which is what they wanted, right? well like almost exactly 3 days later they come to me and want to talk. well, i haven’t been feeling awesome lately, as you might know, and when i get into a depressive state i tend not to talk much. i’ll answer anons and stuff but messages don’t really… i can’t really handle that. so they start talking to me, and i reply but… i’m not as into the conversation as i usually am when i talk to them i guess? (also i’m watching a video at this time so i’m like trying to watch that and not leave them hanging while also feeling like shit. and i told them this) so anyway they unfollowed me sometime between that conversation and the next morning. (also the conversation didn’t even… like i wasn’t shitty to them? and they weren’t shitty to me? so i don’t understand) now since then i’ve lost like 20 followers. and i haven’t been posting on this blog much. i have a queue running but i don’t think any of those posts were problematic, if so i think someone would tell me. and any discourse i post is on a sideblog so it can’t be that. unless tumblr is royally fucking up, but i don’t think that’s it. so i’m pretty sure this person is flat out just bashing me. anyway that’s it im done talking about it. just if yall could reblog my promo post that would be awesome because i’ve been steady losing followers since that night ://///

Bolded emphasis is mine.

Literally all of that is a lie. I never unfollowed them until yesterday, which is how I saw the post! It was on my dash. 

I never said I didn’t want to deal with them, I said I couldn’t handle venting for probably 3 days. 

I sent a message to them after they said “that’s fine” I sent a message the next day and got no response. And I sent a message the day after that, and that’s when they finally decided to grace me with their presence.

I never unfollowed them. Well, I did yesterday because I value myself too much to let myself be used and dragged around by people.

I never told anyone about it using their name.

So of course, I sent a message. I asked them if they wanted me to unfollow them, since they’d unfollowed me. I said I was hurt because pretty much none of that was true. They said they’d deleted the chat and at the top it didn’t say I was still following so they just assumed I unfollowed. 

They said “I guess it was just a misunderstanding”

Then I apologized. After reading the wording of the post, I thought, oh no maybe they read my initial message wrong, and assumed that I actually didn’t want to talk to them, not just talking about the vent stuff. 

“ I apologize if I worded it in a way that made you think I couldn't handle YOU. What I was trying to say is that I couldn't handle anymore emotional drama right now than my own, which I think is fair. Since you deleted it, this is what I said: 

‘Okay somewhere along the line I think I misunderstood what you wanted from me. I thought you were asking for advice, which is why i offered it. Since we're friends, I'll be honest with you. For about the next 3 days it's going to be super duper rough for me, and I've got a lot on my plate. On a normal day I would be 1000% down to listen to you vent and be a Supportive and Good Friend™ but I just don't have the mental or emotional capacity to do that right now. I'm sorry, I want to be there for u to listen to you vent, and you can totally lay it all on me like at any other time and I will be glad to hear it, but for now and the next 3 days, I just can't handle it.’

 I was trying to say we should talk about only not-emotional things for a while, since, you know, my house is being ripped apart and I no longer have a car. And I also am trying not to bog my friends down with the fact that I'm in a Shitty Situation right now and I don't think it's fair to constantly be like This Sucks, so I was trying to stay away from emotionally heavy topics”

and they told me that it wasn’t the case. That the initial message was not the problem. Then why, in their massive plea to their followers did they lie and say I ‘didn’t want to deal with them?’

Their response:

“that's not why i thought you were mad at me. i understood that. you're situation sucks, i saw the pictures. so i understood completely that you didn't want to deal with the drama. i thought you were mad at me because when you did talk to a couple days later i wasn't feeling very good and i wasn't talking to anyone but i wanted to reply to you. after you didn't reply after i apologized i figured you had gotten super pissed that i wasn't being talkative. like we usually are. “

Here are the next few messages:

Me: I'm going to lot out of Tumblr for a while. You really really hurt my feelings. I understand there was a miscommunication but instead of talking to me about it, you posted about it on tumblr, which I saw on my dash just scrolling through Tumblr. I feel like I've shared a lot with you and now I feel very vulnerable, like if I ever am anything but 100% emotionally available to you, you'll blame me for things too. I'm just hurt. And I need to take care of stuff at the house, and I need time to nurse my hurt feelings

Them: i understand

3 days later

Me:  I'm back on tumblr and I noticed you don't follow me anymore. why? do you still think i told people to unfollow you? that isn't true. I never told anybody anything. I feel like I also deserve an explanation. Why did you make a post about me, saying that I told people to follow you? I'm still following you, by the way. Unless you don't want me to, which is okay, I guess but kind of unexpected, seeing as I have literally done nothing to you at all, besides asking you to not vent to me for like 3 days. I just.. I want an explanation. And where do we stand now. Do you just not want to be friends anymore?

Them:  i unfollowed you because i was sure that you had unfollowed me. and then when you came and told me you didn't i felt like if i had it would have made things worse, so i waited. the night you talked to me after the whole don't vent to me for three days thing you said "i guess i'll leave you to it." and i told you that i wasn't feeling well, also i was watching something. you never got back to me so i was like well shit i think i pissed them off. i didn't mean to i just did not feel good. so the next day i went to see if you still followed me, but this must be a sideblog or something because it didn't find you. i think that's what it does for sideblogs. so i did the next best thing, which was to delete our conversation and start a new one to see if it said we were still mutuals or whatever. it didn't say anything so i assumed you had unfollowed me (i lost like 3 or 4 followers that night and i thought you were one of them) so i was like oh damn i guess i did piss them off. so i went ahead and unfollowed. then in like the next day or so i lost like 20-30 followers. i wasn't posting any discourse or anything so i didn't understand why this mass amount of people were ditching me all at the same time. the only thing i could think of was that someone was shit talking me. (turns out it was an ex mutual that was trash talking me, but it wasn't you) so i assumed oh damn i guess i pissed them off really bad and they're here trash talking me. in hindsight it was stupid but my RSD was snowballing everything into a horrible mess. i thought i had pissed you off so bad that night that i wasn't being chatty. literally none of this had anything to do with the three days you didn't want to talk to me.

Me: okay, 1. please stop saying i didn't want to talk to you for 3 days. We already talked about this and established that I didn't want to talk about heavy things, aka venting--Not that I didn't want to talk to you. You told me that you understood this. If you don't then we can go through it again, but I never ever said that I didn't want to talk to you, and the fact that you keep saying that is really rubbing me the wrong way. 2. Cool. I understand your reasoning. I get it, I just took 3 days off myself because I was crazy overwhelmed. But you made a post about me, in which you are very clearly talking about me. Like, people asked me about it. In that post, you said I snapped at you, and you accused me of name-dropping you and getting people to unfollow you. Then, in the tags, you said that you never name-dropped me, and it's because you aren't "sheisty," meaning that I AM shitty for "namedropping" you, which I didn't do. I literally never did anything, and the post is STILL there 3. I didn't respond to you because I logged off tumblr. I started up a chat, asked you how your day was, you said fine? you? i gave you an update and said i had class tomorrow. You said "have a good day at school tomorrow" which is what people usually say when they say bye. So, i was like, alright, Lio's not in the mood for talking, guess it's time to go. 4. If you were worried I was mad, you could have just asked. 5. you have yet to say sorry. I dunno, are you sorry? like I didn't DO anything to you, Lio, and you even said it was someone else, yet you made a huge post about me which I saw on my dash because I'm still following you! It was a lot to handle, because I thought we were friends, and I was already dealing with a lot! It really really hurt me and it left me feeling vulnerable. I understand why you thought the way you did, but you still made a post about me that people could tell was me, because I got questions about it!! Lastly, this IS a sideblog, I have a personal blog, which is in my about and I have answered questions about and I don't give it to people unless we're friends because the Voltron fandom is full of nasties.

It’s almost been a week since I sent that. No response. I’m a pretty understanding person. If they had sent a message like “Hey, I want to keep talking to you about this, but I need a few days to get organized.” I would be totally fine. Also, I’m getting mad at this point, because they have yet to say sorry. The lied and accused me of doing things I didn’t do to get sympathy from their followers, and the post is still up. If they just literally talked to me about anything, sent a “hey, are you mad at me?” or “do you still follow me?” none of this would have happened. Keep in mind, I didn’t do anything they accused me of, and they realized that it was someone else.

So finally today I said:

Me: guess that's it, huh? never figured you for someone who wouldn't apologize. For clarity's sake, now I've unfollowed you.

Them:  Just because I hadn't replied to you yet doesn't mean I'm not sorry or that I wasn't going to. But alright.

Them:  Regardless, I am sorry for everything I did. It was stupid of me to assume everything and even stupider of me to air it publicly. No matter how upset I was or how how wholeheartedly I believed my own foolish accusations. You didn't deserve any of this and I'm sorry for putting you through it after that you've already had to deal with. It wasn't fair and for that I profusely apologize. You don't have to reply to this I just wanted you to know that I am sorry before all is said and done. Anyway, goodbye.

Somebody literally used my situation with Hurricane Harvey as an excuse to promo themselves on tumblr.

Literally all I wanted was a sincere apology, and maybe the post taken down or a correction posted because people who followed us both asked me about it. They knew who I was based on that post. It’s taken me a long time, and a lot of therapy to get here, but my therapist keeps reminding me that I have to value myself enough to demand acceptable treatment for myself. Wanting an apology is not unreasonable. Like, how dare you use my situation to promo yourself? How dare you claim I’m being unreasonable after going radio-silence on me for almost a week, with no explanation? (Again, I’d be totally cool if they needed a week to deal with other stuff, if they’d just asked). 

I’m so mad. I’m seeing red. 

My advice: Talk to people about how you feel and don’t make shit up about them. Be honest with how you feel and what’s up.

And last of all, don’t be a manipulative asshole.

#vent #update #hurricane update #manipulation //

[spiritcc]

The Musgrave Ritual

All the meh reactions that I’ve seen about this episode completely made me forget that it’s actually fucking awesome. 

Screw ye guys and ur weird fixation on kilts, I’m enjoying my atmospheric out of town case that is for once not linked to all these moriarties and other shit, and I’m having a great time.

As always, the Ritual(tm) says to beware the spoilers, even though the case is the only one out of the whole series that is a total standalone. 

Let’s enjoy the holiday just as much as Watson did.

I honestly adore this episode so much. You can accuse it of cheap scares, poor plot and the murderer unreveal, but that’s something I can’t really understand, cuz the episode’s great. 

That crown was on the ceiling all that time since frame one, you can’t see it well in the middle, but it’s there in plain sight.

Somebody fire seven centuries worth of janitors please, or just don’t praise anyone who found the crown past day one of the treasure hunt, yall stupid kilt motherfuckers deserve not having forks. 

Red’s dad is played by Red, genetics in action.

I liked the spoopy opening scene. Well, I liked everything in this episode, but yeah, the spoops were nice, very morbid from the very start, I thought they’d kill the elder kid.   

Originally I wanted to have it as they say it, the black man, but my proofreader was like how about no. So, the man in black. Very spoopy, yes. 

Pleasantly continuing to remind people that Watson is still a doctor and has a job to do. Bonus points for that very polite/ax-crazy dude for thinking he’s exceptional.

Now, Red. Reg, whatever, so far it’s Red and I’m calling him Red till the day I die.  

I loved Red because he is so woke about the entire situation, finally an adequate dude in a horror movie. Traditions my ass, ancient rivalry my balls, let’s just all chill there for a second and maybe fist bump to resolve all the accumulated problems. He’s such a simple guy it’s simply delightful to watch. Of course he’d give Watson permission to write about the story, that wouldn’t be even a permission per se, just something along the lines of “okay!”. He’s great, Holmes chooses cool dudes to hang out with.

When your uni buddy reads too much medieval netflix before sleep and thanks you for a night of wet dreams

Let’s admire an actual castle for once, Russian film companies might still struggle with overseas decorations, but they always have Vyborg and Vyborg always has some great stuff to offer. 

I don’t blame Red for wanting to demolish like all of it for reconstruction, this pile of stone shite needs it. It’s only fun and games until you actually have to live there on a permanent basis. 

Tag urself im watson

This is where Watson starts to have a great time, nothing gets you more pumped up than an excited dude demonstrating how to chop a head off using you as an example.

So, I do think that the spoopy feel of this episode works, firstly because it’s a new case and therefore you really have no idea what to expect and what happens next. Can’t do it with the hound, can you, when every dog on the street knows the plot by heart. And secondly, I think the actual visual part of it looks not only spoopy, but quite charming in its own way.

The old feel to the bagpipes music, the old books telling old tales of war and drama, the fact that everything described in those books actually took place one way or another. You just can’t think about anything else than “yikes, those times”. 

That’s why the spooper element works for me as well, you literally have no idea what to expect.

When your open-minded brother starts sharing ideas at the table

Now, I kinda feel uncomfortable with how this episode played with my own deduction games. Everything was set up around Tom, till the last second pretty much, the dude was as suspicious as ever. Brunton, as the canon perpetrator, looked so obvious you just dismiss him automatically. Then the episode double plays you and finally removes Tom as a decoy, only to reveal that it was indeed Brunton all along. I’m uncomfortable how easy it was and how easily this episode decided to screw with you. Actually, the Brunton reveal kind of disappointed me the first time, I thought it was too weak, now I don’t even notice anything since I know what happens. 

Other than that, Tom was not plotting a murder, Tom was just being very hospitable in the best traditions of Scotland. Culture clash. 

Their sibling relationship with Red is a nice sight though, Red couldn’t care less about Tom’s status and Tom is constantly pissed with Red’s ideas, but keeps most of it to himself. And both of them love each other, that was very nice. 

Yeah yeah, kilts.

It looks like the only thing everyone got from this entire episode, and I swear I still don’t get the hype. And it doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I live in Scotland, but all I’ve seen so far is the kilts and not a single word about the actual episode. 

When your foot is the only thing stopping a fucking armed mystical psycho from breaking into the hall and butchering a man.

Yeah, this is where the black man finally resurfaces again, great spoop content

Their delivery of this is quite great, in my opinion, reading the same books again, but now suddenly noticing this myth you’ve just found out about all over the text. Dun dun duuun, he’s always been there bitch. 

I actually got the spoops from this moment, someone may laugh at me, but I find it kinda nice that I can still get spooped by some dude in a robe in our age of perverted horror innovations.

Oh, Watson is having fun, Watson’s on best holiday ever. 

Watson’s been accidentally hearing and seeing all the right things, but everybody kept dismissing him for various reasons. 

Yarmolnik

If I give up all the remaining decency I have about running this blog, I’d be spamming Yarmolnik till the day I get deleted. He’s been great pals with Panin, has a nice bromance with Boyarsky, but toch-v-toch is the show that ruined my life. I watch it for like 60% just to see him and other judges interact, these guys are unreal. This guy is unreal, I’m totally biased, he;s such a great dude. 

Anyway, Scottish cowboy

You know, since it’s kind of established the hound story didn’t have a real life source behind it in this series, this case here looks like it’s the one that spawned a lot of canon stories about castles and mysteries. Not even talking about the obvious Musgrave story, this case heavily foreshadows the Baskervilles, but for some reason, to me the biggest easter egg was the fucking sir Henry the Canadian cowboy from the Soviet series. Like don’t tell me these guys are not the same person, Red and Soviet sir Henry are like 80% identical. I’ll just believe Watson’s canon hound included Mikhalkov’s version of Henry, thanks to Red, the cowboy in a kilt. 

Stop eating glasses

I like how they actually give some background explanation as to how these dudes got to know each other in the first place, they’re both chemist nerds. 

Holmes went here literally for the lab equipment, and Red slept in the lab during this episode. He even wrote some paper. I just find it very interesting, Holmes actually interacting with someone to the point of them freely inviting him into an ancient castle, and Red, the simple okay guy, being a science nerd.

Watson’s raving 

Even in this episode Holmes managed to get punched in the face, fascinating. 

This Brunton guy sure has no fucking life.

Spend five years working as a fucking servant in your neighbour’s house?? Literally just drop any real responsibilities, abandon your own castle and go fucking carry trays for some dudes and then play it off as something very not loser-y?? No wonder Red is screaming, what the fuck’s all this medieval traditions shit.

ITS THE FUCKING XIX CENTURY LOOK AT THE CALENDAR DINOSAUR SHITE WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS

Of course Scotland does, there’s like, dudes about to kill each other? No? Not planning to help or anything? Bagpipes? Alright. Bagpipes

Bagpipes, hehe. One dude went like, oh wow other dude, I stuck a pipe in a bag and it makes sounds!!! Other dude be like, holy macaroni, first dude, we must think of a name for this pipe in a bag. The first dude be like, bagpipe. The other dude like, what if more pipes. The first dude, bagpipes. They had a jolly time. 

Literally how fucking stupid they were, Charles I was like the biggest and the laziest troll out there, but I’m more outraged by the fact that it worked. 

When some pathetic asshole defeats you in a fight, ties you into a celebration and starts hitting on your daughter.

See, Red is a chill guy, Red doesn’t need any drama in his life, Red wants some progress, pants, and a fork. You really should be questioning your apeass traditions there, buddy. 

So, hound of the Baskervilles. We had the spoops, we had a woman crying in the night, we had a rich heir coming from abroad wanting some sweet renovations, we had a guy hiding under a different identity, we had a temporal decoy, and we had a portrait.

Yep, throw a pup into the equation and there you have it, this Musgrave castle alone was a great source for some great stories in the future.

Why wouldn’t it be great, it has an atmosphere of its own, an entertaining case, a very likable main character, a castle, and a plot in its own little world that gives you a break from all the moriarty drama. Some families do have a quite barbaric history and very unforgiving customs. Treasures, mysteries and family rivalry make for some fascinating stories. And yo, the wild Scotland we all love, amiright.  

This is a blessed image of Watson petting a chicken, share it with your friends and gain +5 nights of man in black resistance and +2 pants

Holmes was plotting shit all this time, and yeah, his logic was always solid. He never considered Tom a threat, Tom would never need this entire shit show if he wanted the money. Holmes went after Stafford since day two, saved a gal in the process, trolled Watson in the meanwhile. He sure took no shit.

If the story was told from his perspective, it would’ve been the most boring case out of the bunch, and that is considering that Holmes was actually wondering the catacombs all by himself. The guy just never took no shit from anybody and had a great time and an easy case. 

Finally, what a scene, man. The times when the show first aired were some pretty dark times, nothing from whatever the promotional material ever explained what the premise of the series was, no elaborating whatsoever. Here’s a new Holmes show, Holmes is kinda pathetic, Adler is kinda the chick, everything is kinda different. See ya at nine on channel Russia One. That’s it, seriously, one of the reasons everybody opposed to it in the first place, nobody fucking knew what the show was about in the first place, just peeps mindlessly butchering canon once again for no fucking reason. The show itself never bothered to explain much. This scene at the end of the fifth episode, more than halfway through the series, was that long-awaited explanation out of nowhere that cleared up ALL the questions, and that scene was damn fucking good.

The reality is too boring or controversial to be told in its original form. The canon as we know it is a big pompous lie created to appeal to a reader. What I’ve been seeing in the show for the past episodes was the actual reality behind it. 

That was legit the first time ever when the premise became as clear as a day, and I couldn’t even care how late it was because the reveal was so fucking great. We are the ones that make them heroes. Or not. That’s the question then, who are the heroes? Them or us? 

Huh, huh, Watson

In my opinion, this is the point that makes this editor guy the accidental ACD of this universe. Watson might’ve modeled the Holmes character and all, but it was this fucking guy that pushed Watson to do all of this. He’s the actual creator. The force behind this entire world. The godly entity. Completely oblivious to the entire fact. He’s fucky, but here’s his credit. 

Could anyone have bought the reality as it was? Indeed, probably not. Would have they bough the Musgrave case in its original form? Totally.

#new russian sherlock holmes #marathon notes #the musgrave ritual