#like literally thats all she wants

[yashley]

Fearne has seen a version of herself that has gone down a very bad path in EXU. […] She doesn’t know where in the timeline that Fearne was, and if every sort of step that I’m taking, “Is this gonna lead me down to that path - to the bad Fearne?"

#critical role #ygifs #fearne #cr3 #thinkin my dark girl fearne thoughts and all the pacts she just ''selfcares'' herself into lately :) #skips around the room giggling thinking about the high warqueen elmenore and her fearne plans #I say thats my abandoned emotionally fuckedup ruidusborn downbad chaos girly and I want her evil but I want her safe😵‍💫 #I do love fearne's interaction with evil fearne literally was just fearne being like lol but how cool are u hmmmm #and yet fearne is actively concerned about That fearne while actively taking steps more likely to lead her there hmmm #also like I don't Need there to be payoff for ollie's plague nightmare of fearne but like dot dot dot #anyway fearne moments are the hottest moments next #my galpaloway

[sluckythewizard]

YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!

#cw gore #cw blood #jrwi fanart #jrwi suckening spoilers #jrwi suckening #BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY #IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE #VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT #THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME #AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME #I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED? #SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE. #SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT. #GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME #WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!! #I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS #THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF? #OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS #in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade. #hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best #LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS

[heartorbit]

a wahoo girl in a wahoo world

#emu otori #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #ignore the tone of the ena i posted the other day. this s emu territory. Kyaa with me. Shalalalaaa #court mandated emu #the court in question? ME...! #birthday mandated emu actually #i havent open splat3 in literally a month sorry LAWLLLLL #My cringeflop cat is cuddled up to my side with her belly up and its taking all of my willpower #not to shove my hand into her belly because itll make her mad as fuuuck and she'll wake up #BUT SHES SOOOO CUTE. ok goodnight ^_^ #OOH MY GOD MY TABLET PEN THAT I BROKE OPEN AND MELTED BACK THE WIRES TOGETHER ON ISNDOING ITS THING AGAIN #it wont recognize the pen skmetimes. UHGGGG SOLDERING IT WAS A PAIN IN THE ASSSSS I HAD TO DO IT WITH A SCREWDRIVER AND A CANDLE. FAWK OFF #huion FAAACK you and your tablet pens that break at a stiff gust of wind. I know i got this like 6 years ago but still. IT SHOULD WORK #this is so lazy injust wanted to try 800 brushes and draw emu ok. I CAN DO WHATI WANT!! #ok thats all my grievances goodnight for real #emu my scp creature very very true

[lanterne]

also not to be mean to olympe de gouges but the convention making divorce legal was more of a gain for women than putting rich women in power as she wanted

#ok this is probably badly worded I can respect her and the idea of female suffrage she had contributions and all but like #you want to use her as an example of why the revolutionaries weren't revolutionaries because they guillotined her #for being oh so feminist which wasn't the reason anyway #like they had some actual exist-ass moments like that Amar speech about the closing the republican women societies #which was more about public order than feminism in the end he just decided to be a pos about it #but also they literally legalized divorce #didn't you do that in the 60s like almost 2 centuries later and THATS NOT REVOLUTIONARY APPARENTLY DJDHKSHDJFLAJDJFJ

[keepingmyoptionsfluid]

The idea that Tommy, a closeted gay man who was desperately trying to fit in in a hyper macho and discriminatory environment, isn't allowed to have any growth from when he was over compensating and was a dick to Chim really pisses me off. He literally had canonical growth to the point he was going for drinks with Chim and Hen in Bobby Begins Again and they got him a fancy leaving cake.

Why isn't he allowed to grow and be better? Because he's white? Because he "gets in the way of buddie"? Because no one is allowed to say and change at all over a decade?

Like this is a queer fandom and I'd bet a lot of money that a ton of people in this fandom said and did things they weren't proud of when they were younger, especially before they came out so they could try and hide it.

I know this is quite a young fandom too but like, it was literally only a decade ago when "gay" was an insult at school and doing anything that could be get you accused of being gay was fucking social suicide. You guys have no idea how lucky you are that people at least get called out for that shit now cause they didn't when I was a kid. I would have done almost anything to just be ignored, let alone accepted, rather than being openly bisexual.

So yeah, I think Tommy is allowed to fucking change as a person because Bobby, Chim and Hen came into his life and allowed him to stop repressing. Stop being such fucking assholes. You aren't any better than him, and frankly the way some of you behave makes the way Tommy acted when he was first in the show look like a fucking saint. Touch some grass.

#911 abc #people are so so so so happy to ignore canon if it allows them to shit on a character they dont like #remarkable how the same people who say tommy isnt allowed to change and be better #are the same ones who accuse anyone who says literally anything negative about hen or chim of being racist #while openly justifying any abuse of athena because shes a cop #at least have consistency if youre going to refuse to respect all the characters #it just makesnyou look stupid otherwise #tommy kinard #am i a buddie shipper? yes #but i grew up in the era of fucking teen wolf #i can love with my faves not getting together #but the most important thing is a story that feels real #i cant see a way that buddie wouldnt happen somehow for the realest story #however if the writers do a good job #then i will still enjoy the ride #i do not want buck or eddie cheating on their oartner with the other #thats just not fun and i would HATE that to be the way bucktommy ended

[sawtual]

speaking of misinterpreting my faves, since saw x is coming out soon can we all pinky promise to not accept amanda being sadistic as anything supported by canon. its so rampant in the fandom (specifically bc of dbd fans -_-) but it has 0 canonical backing. literally watch saw 2 and tell me shes a sadistic monster. IN FACT GO WATCH ADAMS DEATH SCENE AND SAY SHES SADISTIC. MY GOD

the only time shes ever shown happy to be inflicting death on someone is kerry and eric. both people she absolutely considers complicit in her ruin, and also fucking cops 😭 like come on of course she hates their guts. but even kerry she still gives a pretty immediate death like... its just insane how her trap victims will just die instantly. something to be said about her not wanting anyone to die the way adam was going to. except for eric which imo speaks volumes for how cruel she views leaving someone alone in the dark to die slowly.

i just really think we should use our big analysis brains and look at amanda from that point of view rather than Sexy Woman Kills People. guys shes so much more :( but she is also sexy. ok? shes sexy and tragic.

#AND LIKE. SHE CANT EVEM FUCKING LOOOOK AT LYNN WHEN SHE KILLS HER #its quite literally against her will #also tbc i absolutely think she wanted to kill lynn repeatedly ik she was bpd raging so severely but my god thats so different- #than wanting to torture and kill someone and revelling in their death #saw #text #sorry um what was all that. anyways

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

EEPY

#eepy eepy kitten.... #she's all tucked in and curled up <3 #LOOK AT HER!!! GAZE UPON HER PINK NOSE AND BEANS! #she's my little buddy <3 #i wish i could get her leash trained i would Love to go on walks with her #she'd be unbearable! unmanageable! #absolutely unprompted #photos from the bog #alright now that thats out of the way guess what im fuming about today! #ha! you thought this was a cute kitten post! WRONG! eldritch blast! #yeah so fuck youtube all my homies hate youtube #WYM IT SENSES ADBLOCKER AND LITERALLY STOPS YOU FROM WATCHING VIDEOS #that should be illegal! #begging and praying that someone Talented at making site extensions makes one that gets around youtube's stupid fucking adblock sensor #I WOULD LIKE TO WATCH MY SILLY VIDEOS IN PEACE THANKS #this world sickens me. ads everywhere. everything monetized. sell your hobbies. what if we all exploded huh #WHERE IS THE FREEDOM FROM LATE-STAGE CAPITALISM? WHEN DOES THE MADNESS END #ads make me want to rip out someone's throat with my teeth #i dont mind the taste of blood let me commit violence

[demodraws0606]

You know I think there is something interesting to say in terms of where the fuck WxS is going because like

I think WxS is the only unit where the end goal or overall progression is probably the most unknown out of all of them ???

MMJ and VBS are extremely obvious, they both have the most explicit goals that are said to us in a straightforward way

25-ji, in the end we know the main goal at the end will be for all of the characters to go over their hurdles with Mafuyu finally being able to find herself and move forward

Leo/need is probably the closest in terms of vagueness but we know the end goal is clear for them to grow as a band, probably ending in a big concert or something along those lines

But with WxS...like I guess the closest thing I can see to an end goal is all of WxS preparing a show together with everyone playing their part but that definitely doesn't feel like something you'd build up for an entire arc and definitely not something that feels fitting after the emotional turmoil that was the disbandement arc ???

In terms of physical achievements as well they literally revived an entire parc through one gigantic show, so it just comes into question what they can do now.

Then you look at their first few event for this arc considering usually the first event kinda set up what will be planned for the future but it's...weird.

Yeah, Tsukasa and Rui's events set up they're inexperienced and how they will grow in the future but also there is this weird feeling of something feeling off ?

The plays/scripts all are strangely depressing, the play in Tsukasa's event being about a failed writer planning to drown himself (which I believe is one of the only undeniable explicit description of suicide ever in the game?????) and the second being someone whose given up on life meeting their estranged sister only for her to become ill.

We even have Emu's side story in Rui's event where they watched the movie Rin was watching during the event made by the same producer and Emu herself note how depressing the story is (meanwhile the main character of the movie clearly parallels Rui)

We don't see the conclusion of these in-game stories as well, lingering on their worst moment never really seeing the presumably happy conclusion.

THEN we also have Emukasa fes which....again strangely different in tone from what you'd expect a WxS fes card, they're not really all that conclusive either. Tsukasa never aknowledges how he relates to the brother in the story and Emu doesn't really get a conclusion on her grief.

Then we also have Rui's entire fuckign event with the cards and his cyberpunk deadbo-YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING

The closest we fucking have to knowing what WxS's fucking endgoal towards the story is, is fucking WL which....TELLS US NOTHING

At least with VBS we know that they're goal is to go even further beyond and conquer the whole world, that is a developpement of their goal.

What I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck colorpalet is cooking wiht WxS but I feel like i'm a fucking twilight zone reading the way they're writing WxS now because I can't be the only one feeling insane at how weird all of this is

#wxs #wonderlandxshowtime #project sekai #pjsk #prsk #wxs prsk #wxs pjsk #reading this fucking unit feels like i'm stuck in a strange hell dimension where everything just feels like foreshadowing or some kind of #fucking wink colorpalet is oding at me like it's not the first time they've done insane foreshadowing with wxs #in fact its the norm #i wish i could know what goes on in their head when they write these clowns cos i swear i can't understand what the fuck they're doing #like with other units i can geyt like a general idea #but like WxS ???? #they could go literally anywhere with them #i guess going to broadway could be like a huge goal but like ????? #it doesn't FEEL WxS yknow ? #especially after the disbandement arc which we technically haven't gotten really a conclusion for because...Emu's still gonna come back ?? #So like what do we do when Emu comes back to Pheonix Wonderland ????????????? #Cos I do think WxS would want to come back to perform but ESPECIALLY nene's dreams are kind of incompatible with that #cos we know she wants to perform all over the world like her idol #It's just #I guess I'm waiting to see what kind of unholy bullshit colorpalet has for us after the pain that was the disbandement arc #i was also tired while writing this so if this seems extremely rambly thats why #i'm just losing my mind

[liquidstar]

and now for something stupid

#but really i also just wanted to play around w this sort of coloring style bc its been FOREVER since ive used it #and i think i can make it look better now #AND i think i can make more sillay stuff like this and not have it take as long w cleaning up lines #anyway now you all understand the terrible dynamic between these three #phobo's infodump text is just copypasted from the wikipedia page for knives. #julliet ALSO uses knives is the thing so hes actually mansplaining < JOKE #he just wants to share. even if it gives her a headache. but he wouldnt mansplain he doesnt have it in him. hes ok with felonies tho #but julis life hasnt known peace since she was told to take care of the newbies #and shes ALSO a newbie (just slightly less so) so really this is probably just tartarus hazing her #theyd take one look at the two disorganized unserious overeager newbies and think ''you know what would be fucking hilarious'' #and pass them onto the neurotic slightly-less-newbie who takes everything as seriously as possible. disaster combination. #i cannot stress enough that this is a group of bandits and murderers theyre NOT above hazing. #deimos actually is doing the best job at it since he is stealing as we speak #i mean hes not supposed to do it to his teammates but still. on the right track #as for the dynamic between deimos and phobos themselves its like. theyre just bros. theyre both pretty similar in personality #except deimos is kinda more mean and cynical while phobos can be kinda. dense and naive despite literally where hes at in life #but most of the time theyre basically beavis and butthead #i would also like to stress that juli is not being homophobic she just already cannot stand these guys and cant believe the audacity #but. complete misunderstanding. karma for stealing wallets ig #this will never be cleared up by anyone ever #but again thats not their dynamic they are just beavis and butthead. and i guess that makes juli daria LOL #finn's ocs #finn's art

[road2manjuumaster]

that one arashi post about presenting her as overtly feminine in fan media but not in a "trans women are only valid if they conform to traditional femininity" kinda way and more in a "happyele are a bunch of pussies for having a trans woman imply/state she wants to be more feminine in every sense of the word and then never letting her do so beyond socially" kinda way

#i cant remember if i rbd that on my old blog or this one?? #but i am Thinking about it again #its smth i always try to be conscious about?? bc as a more man-leaning person i do not present masc 90% of the time #and i rlly dont feel pressured to present a certain way since im kinda all over the place when it comes to gender #and with arashi its like. the opposite?? like she feels pressured to present more masculine bc of her public status #but she WANTS to wear cute dresses and flowy skirts and big puffy blouses with obnoxiously large bows #the long hair is non negotiable i give all my faves a mullet whether they want it or not #i blame axel kingdom hearts for starting that trend #ensemble stars #enstars #arashi narukami #AND SOCIAL TRANSITION IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS ANY OTHER KIND #and for a lot of trans ppl thats enough! #but she is v clear about wanting to fit a more traditional feminine image bc she WANTS to. NOT bc shes EXPECTED to. #ok thats it i always get defensive for literally no reason whenever i draw her #i think its bc hiyori is there too and i feel like i dont make her as fem looking??? i just suck at drawing women idk man #if youre not androgynous/slightly fem looking or literally built like yoshiya kiryu i cannot draw you sorry #iamtryingforchiakiiamTRYING

[spacedlexi]

people dont talk enough about how heartbreaking the marlon betrayal mustve been for clem too,,

this dude saves the life of her and her kid. takes them in has them patched up gives them their first hot meal in who knows how long. gives them a safe place to stay. possibly permanently. confides in her that hes trying to be a good leader but feels like and fears that hes failing. asks her to help him take care of the rest of the group. helps her get over her fear of dogs by asking her to trust him. and things go well. she feels safe. like this place could really finally be the home shes been looking for

but as soon as she finds out what happened to the twins. that marlon planned on giving up her and aj too. she immediately becomes a liability to him and he attempts to kill her for it. locks her in the basement to die by walker. then tries to turn the group against her so he can shoot her instead when the first method fails. and he nearly succeeds

then a majority of the group turn against clem the minute aj kills marlon. ignoring marlons mistakes but condemning aj for his. like clem wasnt betrayed by marlon in the exact same way he betrayed the twins. like she literally wasnt almost killed twice? and how long had he been considering giving her up? was it always some contingency he planned? did he truly want to keep them around and things only changed when he feared the raiders had returned? she'll never know

#i think about this a lot... the betrayal... clems deep trust issues... then they all want to kick her out (except vi aasim and tenn 💕) #when she was just as impacted if not more so than the rest of them. since she was the only one with her Life on the line #thats why violet fighting so hard for them to stay is so important imo and would MEAN SO MUCH to clem too #vi and aasim are the only ones who can see past the bullshit and realize that theyre safer with clem around #while the rest would rather kick her out so they dont have to acknowledge their confused feelings about marlon #like first marlon betrays her then the rest of the group tell her to get fucked and die. dont come back. we never want to see you again #but she does. and she saves them #personally i do think marlon had 'good' intentions but he was a scared and fucked up kid who made bad decisions #and continued to make bad decisions to cover for his previous fuck ups #but that just makes him interesting :) #and i like teaching aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly #all of clems 'wow i feel so safe here :) and these guys seem smart :)' personal dialogue around ericsons makes me 😭 #she was so happy to be at ericsons. and they turn against her so fast when she was more of a victim than any of them #aj is a literal baby. do not treat him like an adult who can make fully rationalized decisions. hes a baby and he only knows survival #at least they slowly get over it after clem comes back (some take longer than others...) #but the lack of compassion in voting to kick them out is heartbreaking. she was heartbroken #and thats not acknowledged as much as it should be #posting this old drafted post now cuz it expands my feelings on clems broken heartedness about the marlon situation #it speaks #twdg

[youngpettyqueen]

there is something very sad about Peg just wanting to tell BJ about her day to day life, the mundane things in the house that need to be fixed and the funny things that happen to her, all things he would've enjoyed hearing about or would've handled with her if he'd been there, and having absolutely no idea what effect these letters actually have on him

#mash #peg hunnicutt #bj hunnicutt #hi I need to be in my feelings about the Hunnicutts #because I keep seeing posts about Peg's letters acting like she's deliberately setting him off somehow and they annoy me #she is literally just describing her day to day life she is filling pages with mundane chores and tasks and encounters #telling him every little thing that happens that made her laugh #because she loves him and misses him #and she wants him to know everything that's happening while he's away #she has absolutely no idea that BJ loses his goddamn mind over some of these #how would she know how he gets over the gutters? the kitchen flooding? #those are day to day things that just happen #all she's doing is rambling on in letters because she has to tell him every little thing every day because she loves him #she's writing these things thinking he'll just smile maybe have a laugh #because thats what he would've done when he was home with her #and thats why its so sad #she doesn't know these things dont make him smile #she doesnt know how much he's changing #she doesnt know how much he's already changed

[cerubean]

meet the mancusos (in order from left to right)

Silvia Mancuso (socially awkward, loyal, peaceful) --- grew up in tartosa as an only child with her mother (vita) and father. mysteriously disappeared 15 years ago.

Dom Mancuso (loner, cat lover, slob) --- born and raised in tartosa, but lives in san myshuno working as a salaryperson; loves his two children (nico and priscilla), but does not visit tartosa often after losing his wife.

Vita Azzarà (gloomy, cat lover, creative) ---

Priscilla Mancuso (creative, foodie, generous) --- joy of life challenge founder; dreams of owning her own bakery in tartosa

Nicolaò "Nico" Mancuso (music lover, freegan, goofball) --- engaged to mila and they have a daughter named after his mother, silvie. he's often found around tartosa busking for tips with his guitar

Mila Banuelos (book lover, adventerous, family-oriented): in university studying history and archaeology

#not pictured is tato the gato and nico and mila's daugter #it is literally impossible for me to make generic sims w/o backstories i cant help it!! #ts4 cas #the sims 4 #s4mm #simblr #s #jofl #ok now that the tgs are out the way i can ramble! ok so originally i was going to have priscilla's mom be ava hauser from my adult sim dump- #BUT not an alien like my idea was that in order for aliens to get their sim disguises they hv to kill the person they want to disguise as- #so og ava hauser got abducted by alien ava and thats how she disappeared BUT i didnt feel like going into live mode and removing the occult- #and didnt know how to copy her human disguise onto another sim using mccc so i said fk it and made a whole new sim but kept the disappearnce #love how the genetics came out priscilla is a good mixture of her mom and dad i think #thanks for reading all that i had to let it out somehow i dont have any friends if that wasnt obvious lmao #gif warning

[fruitsyrups]

I think it's so interesting to think about the unique social implications of things on the islands. Like, the animal hats & how they originally existed for the practical purpose of protection & they kept wearing them even after that wasn't a factor anymore. & how the hats we see in the present day (when Finn & co visit the islands) don't really resemble animal hats, do they? & maybe that's just to make the significant human characters (who do still wear animal hats) seem more distinct but you best believe I'm going to make it into something bigger. Oh I'm so bad at putting my thoughts into words but it's something how the hats evolved into a new meaning. & when robo susan rips friedas hat off its like a very violating moment. Something something hats, the lack thereof, vulnerability. I don't know. Sorry. I was going somewhere with this but I don't know how to explain it. You get it though. Hats are interesting.

I like to think that (when everyone got sick and lots of them died and the rest moved to a new island) there was a bunch of small shifts & the animal -> abstract hats was one of them. And Frieda still wearing her dog hat shows her still holding onto the past in some way. There we go, that's something. This isn't a total nothing post after all

#like if only i could write my dream longfic about susan&frieda with big focus on frieda's relationship with the islands especially after #susans betrayal (using the word betrayal lightly because of course it wasnt her fault but i think that was the way it felt to frieda) #and susan reconciling her childhood memories with the life shes built for herself #its so interestinggg theyre so inferesting 😭 #bc theyve both got 2 perspectives all on their own. the one they had growing up and the one they have as an adult #frieda wanting freedom and then 'accepting' not having it... and susan being all about upholding the system #and then having that taken away from her by literally losing her memory. and gaining a whole new perspective entirely divorced from her old #one. soorry im just saying a whole lot of words. anyways #thats my dream introspective dual character study longfic that i would write if i could #but alas i cannot even write a shortfic. and ive got tooo much schoolwork i need to catch up with anyway #sorry but the islands are SO FUCKING UNDERRATED??!? under-talked about. its crazy im crazy seriously they gave us all these crumbs #and can u really expect me NOT to think about it just so much. im still thinking about it #<- only thinks about it somdtimes #i get overwhelmed when i think about things im like unironically bad at thinking

[good-beanswrites]

I can't stop thinking of Kyanako's Order of Attack au... there's something so moving to me about how things getting so much worse could be what finally causes Amane to get better -- seeing Fuuta dying may be the final straw of getting her to rethink her rejection of medicine. Been a while since I've attempted something whump-y, this was fun to work with.

Tw for mentions/contemplation of death. I don't go into detail about the cult but the doctrines are implied through it all.

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying.

When he imagined his own death, he always pictured it as something dramatic and fast. Action heroes going out in a show of explosions and gunfire. Fantasy characters meeting the shining end of a blade. Even when he accepted his place in Milgram, it filled his mind with images of gallows and electric chairs. 

Whatever this slow, lengthy fever was, it was pissing him off. 

He’d lost all sense of time. He could no longer tell which hour the prison bells were marking -- morning and night blended together. Dreaming and waking blended together. His head injury and broken leg and broken bones blended together. It was all just pain at the end of the day. He had nonstop visitors that kept him awake and asked him too many questions and prodded his injuries and made his head spin. Somehow, he was simultaneously alone every time he rolled over to talk to someone. Painfully, suffocatingly alone. 

If Kotoko was going to kill him with those ridiculous emo boots of hers, she should have just done it. He was losing his mind here: devoid of all energy, suffering through broken bones and a cracked head, and boiling in an increasingly fiery fever. Maybe that was the reason he stopped commenting when he watched Amane pocket the medicine Shidou had left him. Maybe that was why he’d stopped following Shidou’s instructions himself. Even after losing an eye and taking a beating herself, Amane always looked at peace. He was tired of dealing with all of this. He wanted a bit of that peace.

Regardless of why, it was working. His fever had quickly gone from the biggest pain in his ass to the very thing that dulled his racing thoughts. 

He awoke suddenly, or maybe he’d already been awake. He couldn’t feel anything in his limbs. There was only a breathless heat around him. He raised himself into a sitting position, looking for a drink. Moving his head felt like one of those glitching computer windows that leaves a trail of copies behind it. The room swam around him. His eyes moved absently around him.

Fuuta picked up the glass that someone had left him. His fingers were clumsy, and it immediately went crashing to the ground. He hardly heard the noise as it broke apart on the concrete below. 

He swung his legs over the side of the bed. He’d just go get a drink himself. Shidou told him not to get up without help. But what did he know? Thinking of the man ordering him around only drove Fuuta to step out of bed even quicker. He cried out, pain shooting through his leg. That was right, it was broken… 

Fuuta looked down, finding himself on the ground. It was so hot. Maybe this is what she felt, he thought numbly. Was it this slow for her too? Probably not. She had no regrets to fill the time like he did. The heroes got quick, beautiful deaths, and it was the villains who had to suffer the long ones. 

He lifted his right palm from where it had caught his fall. The shattered glass on the floor had cut into it. Shattered glass? What had broken? He stared blankly at the blood dripping down. 

He didn’t have the strength to raise himself up. He was burning. Why was he on the ground? Was he bleeding? He could barely breathe. What was he doing here, anyway? He just wanted to curl up and sleep. He was so weak... just to lie down... he wouldn't have the strength to get back up again. Was that such a bad thing...?

A voice caught his attention. His eyes struggled to focus on the figure who’d come running into the cell. He couldn’t understand a word of what she was saying, but he was happy when she pressed her cool little hands against his forehead. 

He allowed her to prop him up next to the bed. She held onto his hand, squeezing it tight. Why was she holding it like that? That hand was bleeding. When did that happen?

Her arms wrapped tightly around him. He wanted to shove her away -- it was too hot -- but couldn’t. In his ear, he could make out her words. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please, Fuuta. Don’t leave me alone. I’m so sorry...”

As she pulled back, he recognized Amane. Her uninjured eye was filled with tears. Was she upset? He thought he’d been making her happy. He wanted to keep making her happy. He’d never made anyone happy before. 

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words would come out. They all scrambled up in his mouth. He felt the cell swirling around him.

Amane raised her voice. She looked desperately upwards. “This can’t be --! This isn’t right!” 

Fuuta looked up at the ceiling. There was nothing there. 

“I can’t do this anymore.”

She continued talking. Fuuta was too busy studying the ceiling. She was shouting. Or maybe crying. Fuuta didn’t like that she was so upset. Huh, had there been someone there? He surveyed the empty cell. What was he doing on the ground?

He looked down at his hand. The sheet from his bed had been pulled down and wrapped hastily around it. Why? His eyes felt sticky as he blinked. Everything hurt. It was so hot. What was going on? He was so angry. He was so scared. He wanted to cry. Why was he here? Why couldn’t he just hurry up and die already?

The next time she entered, Fuuta recognized Amane instantly. Her one hand pointed to him, the other held onto someone else. The second figure hurried over to him. 

Fuuta was not a big fan of dying. Shidou reassured him he wouldn’t.

—

“You’re wearing the eyepatch,” Fuuta observed. 

He was playing a dangerous game, drawing attention to it like that. He was too exhausted, and his curiosity won out over his better judgment. If Amane was going to explode with one of her typical speeches, he’d just let her.

She didn’t. 

Amane’s hand drifted up to her eye. It had been hastily covered before, but now it was cleaned and wrapped in professional-grade materials. She simply said,  “Kajiyama Fuuta. How do you feel?”

“Like shit.”

“But--”

“-- But I’m better, yeah.”

Amane nodded, her shoulders releasing. 

“Oi, I haven’t seen you in a while. Not since…” He wasn’t sure how to finish the sentence. Shidou had told him what happened, but it was difficult to believe. He couldn’t quite trust his own memory of the night. No matter how much clearer his mind felt since receiving proper treatment, those days of fever still muddled together. He heard that Amane had up and switched her beliefs overnight -- she was now complacent about all of Shidou's treatments -- but Fuuta knew people didn't just change like that. He wanted to hear it for himself.

She lowered her gaze in shame. “I… I thought you hated me.” Her voice was steady. “As you should. I almost killed you. I accept any ill will you may feel.”

“I -- what? You’re wrong. You… it wasn’t…” He grabbed his head, grunting in frustration.

After standing awkwardly in the entryway the whole time, Amane took a few steps inside. She made it to his bedside when he finally collected his thoughts. 

“It was your fucked up family or whatever that caused everything. They did this. And I went along and made things worse.” He looked away. His next words felt stupid to say to a little kid. He felt like the most pathetic, weak, loser. But it was too important not to say.

“They almost killed me. You saved me.”

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #amane momose #i am emotional about them!!! #my other drabble between them hinted that fuuta would convince her away from her dangerous beliefs before things got too bad #but i wanted to see what would happen if things Did get bad ya know #we were talking about what could convince amane to think twice about the medicine ban (if anything) #and i think seeing her closest friend is literally on deaths door finally gets through to her #shes sees him weak and bloody and completely out of it and knows this is Wrong #i dont know how long it takes fuuta to realize that it really was all for him that she changed but he does accept it eventually #it helps both of them grow #he feels worth saving (and therefore worth turning his life around) and she is freer from her cult #not completely #but one step at a time #tried to make fuutas narration simpler and shorter to reflect his thoughts but idk if that worked #i thought they were going to do a lot of stuff with mahirus head injury and memory but they never did- i played around with that a bit here #i thought about writing out amanes monologue to her god about how shes not doing this anymore but 1. its more dramatic to leave that to #the imagination and 2. idk if its silly but some things are so personal for a character and i dont wanna intrude... like yeah its my #story but thats between her and god fr #drabbles #tw cults #tw child abuse

[moeblob]

So uh. Eventually I'll stop drawing these guys so obsessively but not today I guess.

(DND AU where it's just these two, Brent, and Paul on a life mission to annoy Chris the GM by having the pact of "we're only here for Karen's benefit")

Karen is a warlock, Right is a cleric, Paul is a paladin, and Brent is a bard (so he can use bardic inspiration on Karen).

#my characters #fun fact i was watching a trio of streamers do tier lists and i saw them do a tier list about their streamer friends #and they all voted on how the person would die in dnd and the funniest thing to come out of it imo #was the difference of SELF SACRIFICE and under it FORCIBLY SACRIFICED #like who would take one for the team willingly and who would be disposed of with majority vote #then they added an executed for their crimes spot under that so while they were debating some guy they settled on #he was the one that initiated most of the forcibly sacrificed ideas and that means he was eventually executed for his crimes #which ... was really funny to distinguish #the point is thats karen in this non existent campaign #she is here to mess people up and then use her allies as scape goats and they all just go well that sucks peace out im on the chopping bloc #and chris is getting more and more distressed over the fact YOU GUYS CAN LITERALLY TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF IT #but they really dont talk their way out of it like he wants #they instead are like ok cool so im gonna pretend like i didnt see karen kill that guy #and shes like i mean it was an accident i didnt MEAN to kill THAT guy #which is why they all vote to not see it and not bring it up RIP that guy #i saved this canvas as A WARLOCK AND HER CLERIC #which is honestly fitting #anyway i wanna draw fanart again at some point but my joy is stored in the ocs rn #i dont play dnd i just listen to one person talk to me about dnd and thats enough #oops i fell in love