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blood-choke · 5 months

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hiiii… i wanted to ask more about this particular val scene where mc and her talk about that portrait and mc is a bit stuck on the word husband and wants val to know theyre not a man. can i ask what inspired that type of convo? i wanted to know if it’s something you’ll touch up on again? is this underlying feelings mc had before their entombment… worried that val sees them as a man just because mc is masc? cause i know that’s kind of broader discussion in the lesbian community iirc….. was that why you wanted to incorporate it? this ask has so many questions LOL but basically i wanted to say i was intrigued and it did made me think more on those type of dynamics (thinking back to those resources you rb’d a while ago that go more into depth about diff things in the lesbian community)

oh boy get ready for another long-winded answer from me!

a lot of the feelings mc has about their gender are inspired by Leslie Feinberg's work (mainly Stone Butch Blues)

Feinberg was someone who lived & passed as a man for years of hir life, and wrote a lot about the complexities of hir gender and what it was like being a "gender outlaw."

there was actually a scene in particular from sbb that kinda put the kernel of an idea in my mind that led to this narrative of the mc feeling overshadowed by Standard and anxious about being perceived as a man. it's towards the end of the book when Jess (sbb's protagonist) meets Ruth (a trans woman that Jess falls in love with)

Jess offers to help Ruth carry groceries up to her apartment, and Ruth takes this the wrong way & is offended, partly because she thinks Jess is a man.

One Saturday afternoon I found her clutching two huge bags of groceries and fumbling with the downstairs front-door lock. I pulled out my key.

“Here, let me.” She didn’t say thank you. She hurried ahead of me on the stairs.

“Can I help you carry those?” I offered.

“Do I look weak to you?” she asked.

I stopped on the stairs. “No. Where I come from it’s just a sign of respect, that’s all.”

She continued up the stairs. “Well, where I come from,” she called out, “men don’t reward women for pretending to be helpless.” Once I heard her apartment door close I kicked the stair in anger and frustration.

later, after they get to know each other better, they have this interaction:

I laughed and picked at my salad. “Do you know if I’m a man or a woman?”

“No,” Ruth said. “That’s why I know so much about you.”

I sighed. “Did you think I was a man when you first met me?" She nodded. "Yes. At first I thought you were a straight man. Then I thought you were gay. It’s been a shock for me to realize that even I make assumptions about sex and gender that aren’t true. I thought I was liberated from all of that.”

I smiled. “I didn’t want you to think I was a man. I wanted you to see how much more complicated I am. I wanted you to like what you saw.”

i think the inspiration here is quite obvious, hahaha. i figure anyone that's read sbb can sense the similar through-line here in my work. though the conversation between mc and Valentina has a much different tone.

there's another scene later as well after something happens to Jess and she has to have her jaw wired shut. she's working at a new job and is unable to speak, and she's also passing as a man at this job. she overhears some of her female coworkers talking about her and they refer to her as a "creep" and speculate that she's always watching one of them. Jess overhears all of this and then walks out of the job, goes home and pulls the wires out of her mouth herself:

After I was sure I’d gotten the last piece of wire out of my gums, I rinsed my mouth with whiskey and then drank the rest of it so I could sleep without remembering how Marija’s words had stripped me of my humanity.

butches & gnc women still face this kind of dehumanization; compared or likened to men in a derogatory way, accused of being "heteropatriarchal," the predatory stereotype of the fat ugly lesbian, and on the other side they're also hypersexualized, especially online and in queer spaces. butchphobia is a specific kind of misogyny that hits from all sides, even from the people that are supposed to be a part of your community. and this attitude especially effects trans women and women of color, who are already experiencing all of these things due to transmisogyny and racism.

i also really wanted to use this to touch on the kind of gender essentialism that we see in a lot of these cis feminist discussions - to these women at this job, Jess had committed no real crime other than being quiet and being the “wrong” kind of man. something about this scene has always stuck with me and really bothered me, but it's hard to put into words; on one hand i can admit i have probably been one of those women who made some kind of similar remark about a man i barely knew, but i've also been someone on the receiving end, too, because of the way i look. the mc in blood choke is put into this box, but they can't fit in, as someone who has been on both sides and doesn't really understand where they belong because of it; how can she stand beside Valentina or Hana or Clear when they might see her as a perpetrator, someone who can't be trusted? how does this mindset harm both the women and the men of the council and everyone in between? how can we break this cycle?

one of the films i mentioned recently when talking about the character designs was The Same Difference, which is specifically about the Black lesbian community and the discrimination within that community based upon gender roles (though this is not something limited to just the Black lesbian community)

a lot of the women in that doc talk about the boxes they're put in as AG or stud lesbians - they can't have their hair long, they can't wear makeup, they can't do this or that, they have to be aggressive and hard or else they're not real studs. they discuss stud on stud (or butch4butch) and how other lesbians look down on those types of lesbians, as well as the disdain for bisexual women for "betraying" the community. it explores the way misogyny and the patriarchy still oppress these women and forces them into this restrictive gender role despite their refusal to adhere to the other role originally assigned to them, and the way racism specifically intersects and exacerbates it for Black lesbians. there's a stud that's an exotic dancer and wears a weave, and a lot of other studs have a problem with this because a weave is "a female thing." another section follows a pregnant stud, and how the community shuns her for that, because she "dresses like a man and acts like a man" so why is she getting pregnant when she should be "the man"?

mc doesn't remember how they felt before entombment, but waking up they feel this need to prove themselves - both in that they are hard and aggressive like a butch should be, but also in that they want to be this person for Valentina or Clear or Hana (or all of them) that is safe and comforting. but they aren't sure how to do that when the world perceives them as this one specific thing - as a husband, as Standard, as a man, specifically this man who hurt Valentina.

of course we've already seen this to not be true of the companions with the last chapter as the mc learns more and spends more time with everyone. but this is kind of the foundation of where this whole idea came from. it started with my novel & i chose vampires for that story & this one because there is a long history of lesbian vampirism (and also because it's sexy) but there's this "curse" that both Hana & Valerie talk about in their respective stories, the first one being the racism she's had to face, the transphobia, along with this alienation and perception of lesbians as predatory and conniving and aggressive, as vampires, which i just think really lends itself to expanding upon these issues lesbians & trans women face both in general and within the community.

anyways if you want to read more i suggest Stone Butch Blues, which you can get for free on Leslie Feinberg's website, as well as S/he, by Minnie Bruce Pratt, available on the internet archive, Gender Failure by Ivan E. Coyote & Rae Spoon also on the internet archive, and you can rent The Same Difference for $10 on vimeo.

#im gonna be real idk if this makes sense to anyone but me. lmfao #but basically leslie feinberg is a huge inspiration for me #and just exploring the way homophobia and transphobia and misogyny all intersect when someone is gnc #and the expectations put on them #i think about butch al a lot and the things she says to jess and the way that section of the book plays out #and then in the end when the cops raid the bar #al and jess are fags except for what the cops did to al and the way they dehumanize her #how the mc is considered a man in certain instances - when the girls throw a brick at her or when the woman yells at her in the bathroom #or when atlas shakes hands with her and calls her their man #but other times she's a 'proper lady' with V or when that man gives her and Hana a dirty look in the elevator #or when cassius says 'ladies first'#mc is always one or the other whatever is convenient and degrades her the most in the moment #you know?#i dont know. im just saying stuff #basically i want to explore these gendered expectations & stereotypes and how they harm someone vulnerable like mc #how they feel alienated even from V & hana & clear for not being butch enough #but also for being butch and trans in the first place and feeling like an infiltrator #ask #anonymous

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rockethorse · 2 years

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When artistic visionary Ann Ghelld passed away, she bequeathed her beloved townhouse to the city as affordable housing for fellow creative types... on one stipulation; that nobody touched its eccentric and wildly impractical layout. While this final request has caused its share of architectural headaches, nonetheless, the Ann Ghelld Building survives in the heart of Sim City’s basket weaving district. Upon crossing its unusual threshold you might grab a coffee from Cafe Urele, pick up a bouquet or snacks from LlaMart Convenience, or simply catch the elevator up to any of its three apartments.

I love watching LilSimsie’s videos, even though we play different editions, and I particularly enjoy her shell challenges - where she uploads empty exterior walls and others have to make a lot out of it. I especially liked this one, referred to lovingly by LilSimsie & her followers as the “Big Mistake Shell Challenge” - because all the exterior walls are 100% diagonal.

This is just as difficult to work around in TS4 as it is in TS2, so I wanted to join in the torture! The (wonky) red lines mark the untouchable shell. I ended up really happy with the results, so I’m sharing this fully-furnished, cleaned, play-tested, CC-free apartment building in the hopes you’ll enjoy it too.

Important info, more pics & download link below!

🚨 PLEASE LOAD THIS LOT BEFORE MOVING SIMS IN 🚨

When you move Sims into an apartment, it’s difficult to safely alter anything outside, so please make sure to check that everything is as it should be before you move Sims in.

You do not need CC or mods to play this lot. However, it was made with a few common mods in mind, and if you don’t want to use them, please tweak the lot before playing:

Rugs have been placed off-grid. Either make sure you have Rugs Off The Grid, or delete/move rugs to avoid graphical glitches as seen in these previews.

If you don’t have Water Inaccessible Flowers and Trim Inaccessible Bushes then you may need to move/delete some landscaping and/or fences.

The ground floor was designed for use with Apartments & Shopping On The Same Lot. If you don’t use this mod, nothing bad will happen, but the bottom floor will not sell anything except via the vending machines & electronics kiosk. You can replace the convenience store with a common area such as an indoor pool, computer room, etc, or even another apartment; I honestly recommend leaving the cafe as-is, because your playable Sims can still work there as a barista.

There is no CC in this lot, but there are some deco "accessory” items not normally accessible by players (e.g. a saucepan). If you delete these you may not be able to replace them. Similarly, some items were placed with Shiftable Everything. If you delete some items you may not be able to replace them in the same positions without this mod.

A corner counter in the top apartment may not corner properly when the lot is placed. This can be fixed with moveobjects. Although it clips, it is considered within the apartment, so you can put objects on it without apartment cheats.

If you don’t use Shiftable Trash Chutes, your chutes may appear glitched (see below). This is harmless and can be fixed simply by replacing the chute. Note: the chute on the second floor was originally placed with the cheat setquartertileplacement on.

If you play with CC, then I also have some suggestions for where it might improve this lot:

The expensive computer in the cafe (I hate that hideous thing) would be much better as a laptop.

The flower plots on the rooftop would also make a great produce garden with Honeywell’s placeable garden plots.

You can replace a corkboard in the lobby with a jobs board.

The signs for Cafe Urele might look nicer with a recolour or swapped out for a cute sandwich board.

The bike racks by the basketball court look a bit bare without some deco bikes.

The bare brick wall at the back of the building is prime real estate for some graffiti.

The busker’s guitar out the front will look a little more appropriate with an invisible amp recolour and maybe a decorative case.

If you find all the lights overpowering, don’t forget to turn some off.

And of course, don’t forget to add fences, hedges, etc. that will make this lot blend in better with the surrounding lots in your hood.

The first apartment has two separate bedrooms; Currently, it’s furnished as though occupied by two unrelated roommates - one sewist and one musician - but it could also work for a parent and a child. It has this kitchenette common area as well as a small balcony.

The second apartment is the most “luxury”. It’s a cozy open-plan studio with a double bed, a small but quality kitchen, and its own balcony. This is ideal for a D.I.N.K couple or perhaps a single Romance Sim.

The top apartment is the smallest and cheapest, barely fitting a kitchenette and single bed, but there’s space to move out on the building’s largest balcony. Perfect for an artsy single Sim working or studying in the big city. (The little reading nook bumpout is my favourite detail.)

All bathrooms are more or less identical, with a toilet, basin, medicine cabinet, trash can, and shower. The second floor studio has a shower/bath combo.

I wanted the lot to have free skilling opportunities, so all residents have access to the rooftop garden and free use of the crafting station & chess set there. There’s also a bookcase in the cafe, a guitar on the street for busking, an outdoor gym, and a basketball hoop.

Sims should be able to access everything (except the flowers/hedges - see above) without routing errors, though of course, with such an “interesting” layout, your Sims might get a bit cramped and fussy. The only issue I ran into is that there’s nowhere on the second floor for the newspaper to be delivered, so it often glitches into the apartment on the left, regardless of which apartment you live in. You can retrieve the paper in buy mode without cheats. This is not an issue on the top floor.

Thank you so much for reading! I don’t remember the last time I shared a lot for download; if you do end up playing it, I’d love to hear how it went.

Download Ann Gheld Building [CC Free]