#like sooooo fucking. badly

[lamentablesbian]

it’s about this boy this adaptation that takes a predator and makes him back into a boy he’s just a boy and he wants to keep children safe from the horrors of the world before, keep them safe in the way he never was, create a shelter for them not in isolation but in family. he tells them a bed time story like some kind of pied piper, he leads them away into a fantasy so that the future–past they’re all hurtling towards can be staved off just a little longer. the last thing he downloaded before the satellite went dead was the wikipedia entry on capitalism— he asks if he should just delete it. he spends every waking moment after trying to keep it from happening again. “there is no before.”

it’s about this girl this girl who has never had the chance to say goodbye who holds people so close that sometimes they end up passing through her altogether and she knows the boy’s story, it’s his bedtime story— but it’s her guiding light. she remembers damage too, the damage and horror of the world before, but instead of falling into a fantasy she makes herself a horror, makes herself untouchable. because if she couldn’t pretend the world was something better then at least she could protect herself from the worst this new world has to offer. knives tucked into hair, boots, belts, sharpened lovingly and methodically. she picked up her first knife out of the pool of her brother’s blood, wiped it clean. spends hours throwing it end over end into the wall of the cabin— she never misses. “to the monsters, we’re the monsters.”

it’s about their parallel lives, their ever-narrowing orbit around one another their inevitable collision. it’s about a knife drawn like a breath and pressed tight under his jaw. it’s about his gasped words in response to the sudden blade. were they a threat? a promise? did it matter? because, really, it’s about the knife he didn’t see coming— fast, short, sharp as anything, and deep in his guts. “Kirsten, why are you helping me?” “stabbing you didn’t work.”

#sorry this is absolute word vomit i just had to get it out #kirsten and tyler’s dynamic makes me crazy in the head genuinely #like i have never wanted enemies to soulmates so badly #it doesn’t even have to be romantic they’re just such twin flames such mirrored disasters #it’s all SOOOOO!!!! #AUGH!!!!! #i’m genuinely shocked by the lack of fandom on here for this show like it’s criminal #it’s so fucking good #station eleven #station 11 #myken talks

[vanivanvanilla]

lifestealtober day 28 - betrayal

it was a long time coming

no shadows + og screenshot ^_^ btw the pumpkin has discarded dead leaves with a healthy green one growing while the dandelion has fallen apart . no particular reason of course ! there would never be symbolism in mc fanart

#princezam #pangi #empire duo #lifestealtober2023 #lifesteal smp #lssmp #zamgi #yah s4 zamgi hit different #vans art #ok 4 context in case u dk what's going on basically zam was known this season for all his betrayals right #well pangi was constantly trying to stay by zam's side even as zam pushed him away (at first bc pangi killed zam's beloved goat walter but #then it was more bc zam was more interested in other people [eclipse n team awesome]) #pangi wanted to be teammates with zam sooooo fucking badly but zam barely even gave him a glance even after pangi would listen 2 him ramble #about his struggles finding a team he could trust #it was a loop of zam joining a team betraying them bc he got paranoid going 2 pangi 4 comfort then joining another team n repeating cycle #(also on a shipping note red literally asked pangi if him and zam broke up at one point and pangi said yes that they broke up T_T) #on pangi's last ls stream (b4 doomsweek bc he was going on vacation) him n zam went over 2 a trap of pangi's that was 4 vitalasy n ash #and while over there (idr all the details T_T sorry) zam ended up in a bedrock box with pangi hovering over him. pangi betraying him #for everything zam put him through and for discarding him everytime in the season #that was how pangi ended his season 4 (until he logged on when doomsweek ended n zam followed him around like what i think 2 be a ghost #haunting the server) #sorry 4 the rant they make me sosososososo ill i love zamgi please like zamgi guys

[wizardnuke]

"thou shalt not take the Lord's name in vain" except Her name is Dolly Parton and i am about to start fucking biting people

#you cannot idolize the working class and queer icon dolly parton and then talk badly about southerners. i am in your fucking walls #'she's a drag queen!' YES she fucking is <3 AND she is a southern lady and you better remember that next time you want to say something #political about the south ALSO FUCKING. THINK. she's from tennessee do we all know that? you know the state that recently tried to ban #drag shows! you understand that she does drag right you understand she's from tennessee do you understand what im explaining about that #state and the south in general. i am getting really tired of explaining gerrymandering to people. especially liberals who live in the south #chewing the drywall its sooooo fucking dire #'she's so progressive' yeah and she is like eighty whatever the fuck years old we have always been here fuck you

[andi-o-geyser]

Sure, we may have gotten the Purvan jokes made in canon for the animated show which is a massive win, but if we don’t get a running gag of 50 "I assume” jokes made when Seeker Assum Emring shows up I’m personally starting a riot. I need it animated and I need it now

#The funniest underrated line maybe in all of campaign 1 off of the top of my head #is when they’ve been slipping in very unsubtle “we have to assume” jokes for the past 10 minutes of intricate battle planning #and they’re giggling as they halfheartedly apologize to Assum #Keyleth says ''we're assuming- sorry'' while she holds out a hand as if to comfort the man #and then Scanlan goes ''but we know that Thordak is a total asshole- sorry'' and its literally comedy fucking gold #i need it animated sooooo badly #theres a lower possibility that raishan is posing as assum considering we havent met him yet formally #but good god he needs to show up for this reason in particular #i want to see vox machina bully more council members pls it gives me a serotonin boost like nothing else #i love my found family but i also love them blatantly acting like assholes #vox machina #tlovm #tlovm spoilers #critical role #critical role spoilers #cr1 #seeker assum #assum emring #the legend of vox machina #purvan suul #lovm #legend of vox machina #andis thought geyser

[quesocane]

When you're a famous psychologist, widely regarded as the authority on all things Love and you've just gotten mixed up in some wack-ass corporate espionage between tech corporations, one of which runs your post-apocalyptic totalitarian oligarchy where the last .2% of humanity is trying to survive, surrounded by illusions meant to distract them from the impending chaos and doom just outside the literal bubble you live in, and you have an inkling that there's also something terribly, terribly wrong INSIDE the bubble, too, with the very technology created to protect you, but you're also trying very, very hard not to think about it bc that would challenge everything you understand about the world you live in, and you really don't have time for that shit either because you have to deal with an asshole (who, I am convinced, is viciously supressing his homosexuality) playing yank-and-jank with your emotions, AND his fucking bizarre hologram dude/Galatea-proxy who seems WAY too self-aware while you're busy drowning your sorrows in fantasies about a fictional, ideal lover based on the writings of an old Harlequinn romance novel that somehow survived the fucking apocalypse (and that nobody can know about because it would ruin your reputation as an authority on love) because you still haven't really processed the end of your relationship of 2 years with a guy who clearly was a weak little fuck who wasn't worth the time he wasted, and if you could just finally come to the conclusion that there is much, much better dick in the world than fucking Nathan, you would be fine. but you haven't, so you aren't:

#dutp infinite shimmer #dutp infinite shimmer spoilers #just in case #aurora is maybe the realest mc we've gotten so far? #just in terms of her damage. like. #i know sooooo many girls who had the same kinda relationship that went NOWHERE no matter how badly they tried to make it go SOMEWHERE #because they jsuttt fucking wanted to be WANTED and yo have a partner but the guy was too immature too weak too insecure to be That #but they kep her around and wasted her time just bc they liked having a 'girl' if u kno what i mean #fucking scumbags i hate nathan i hope he gets chlamydia

[pepprs]

so deeply in hell

#literally crazy how my entire sense of the landscape of my life got blown to smithereens a week ago and i have to be normal and have #meetings and be responsible for schoolwork and preparing people for the retreat and orienting my new colleague to our work duri ng her first #week when i am triggered by every little thing and my chest feels like it’s collapsing with the weight of how badly i need to sob. lole #purrs #like i think it is actually fucking over for me. i think i am going to end it. (not my life but something fundamentally important to it 😻👎💔 #) and i have to be so fucking normal about that when it is the worst most painful thing in the world. and i can’t tell if that’s what #actually has to happen or if it’s my brain fucking destroying me but the way i am in full blown panic mode knowing i have irreversibly #damaged this thing that gives my life structure and meaning and i have to confront that truth for real and act on it in a few days. LOL #like it’s sooooo crazy. the thing that.. like i haven’t been able to without… and i ruined it. by needing too much too loudly ummmm 😍😍😍🤪🤪🤪😵😵 #delete later

[mrkis]

I saw in your author page that you like video games , what kind do you typically like??

OH :,) luv this ask lol. i play a lot of action-adventure games (story based type of games) and some survival ones! i'll make a list of the games i play under the cut because i dont wanna clog the dash lol. i play console btw!

⋆ the last of us part 1 & 2 ─ (im actually currently replaying the second game) ⋆ detroit: become human ⋆ resident evil ─ (in the middle of playing 7 rn) ⋆ dead by daylight ⋆ until dawn ⋆ the quarry ⋆ the forest ⋆ dayz ⋆ back 4 blood ⋆ world war z ⋆ the dark pictures anthology ⋆ stranded deep ⋆ call of duty franchise ⋆ gta 5 ─ (played the older ones on my other console lol) ⋆ saints row the third remastered ⋆ life is strange ─ (i have the true colours game but i haven't played it yet) ⋆ marvels spider-man ⋆ marvels spider-man: miles morales ⋆ red dead redemption 2 ─ (i own it but haven't played it yet either) ⋆ minecraft ⋆ fornite ─ (im actually fucking shit, people on this game make me fucking evil) ⋆ sims 4 (but i play this on pc. playing it on console is so ugly to me lmao)

#‣ [asks] #‣ [anon] #literally logged onto my ps4 to check all the games i had to write this down lmao #i sooooo badly wanna save up tho for a gaming pc for steam games!!! #i already own a steam account but like....... my weak ass laptop sounds like its going to fucking blow up every time i redownload steam #same with sims 4..... i miss her.

[quenthel]

Atton Rand is such an insane character... “Have I saved you yet?” “I loved you from the moment I saw you.” Him projecting his personal issues onto the exile and then falling in love genuinely and being willing to die for his love eventho he is not a good guy... The pazaak playing scene.... whoof

#quenthel special #atton rand #kotor 2 #i barely think abt kotor 2 anymore but holy fucking shit the companion writing in that game was stellar #everyone representing a facet of both the world and the main character #the exile too as a protag is just SOOOOO UGH #your special power is the connections you make with other people because you are a natural leader and you are a bleeding wound #but you ARE the world itself also.... UGH #i would say i want to replay kotor 2 but no way in hell... its badly aged and also chr*s av*lone worked on it and a lot of it is... like tha #esp poor kreia's writing..... #also society if they made atton canonically bi... he should have bi

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mac i am so sorry to enter ur inbox with more qsmp but oh my god. qcellbit update. so he talked to bagi. his sister. he still doesn't remember her. he still needs time to process everything but she said she's waited fifteen years so she can wait a few more days. i'm crying and sobbing rn. also he doesn't even fucking remember what he did to get thrown in prison, all he knows is that he was killing people to survive one day and another he was behind bars. i'm UNWELL!!! he got called in to talk to cucurucho (the fuckin THING that's kind of the federation mascot and it tortured cellbit with a chainsaw months ago FUCK CUCURUCHO ALL MY HOMIES HATE CUCURUCHO) and he was just. fucking tired. yesterday he messed with the feds quite publicly and cucurucho questioned him about it and he said "i don't care what you do to me, you can torture me, i don't care. i just want my family back, i want a future with them. just give me peace. let me rest." HE SOUNDED SO FUCKING TIRED. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE WAS SAYING UNTIL SOMEONE POSTED A TRANSLATION BUT HE SOUNDED SO SO SAD. AND NOW CELLBIT HIMSELF IS GOING TO TWITCHCON SO QCELLBIT IS TAKING A WEEK LONG DEPRESSION NAP. MAC CAN U HEAR ME. I'M UNWELL. I'M LOSING IT. THIS IS ME RN

anyway. hows ur day. i might go watch some steven universe bc i have been meaning 2 rewatch it (or adventure time!!!! one of the two for sure) take a short break from binge watching hannibal 2 watch a silly funny cartoon :3 also still trying to make my way thru marble hornets again it's just such an insane series 2 rewatch u know but i'm getting there!!! sorry i am just currently lying on the floor in my brain thinking about qsmp i had 2 tell u what happened 2 ur blorbo in law today

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO ME ABOUT PUTTING STUFF IN MY INBOX I LOVE GETTING MAIL I LOVE LEARNING THROUGH OSMOSIS I LOVE LISTENING 2 PPL TALK ATBT THINGS THEY LOVE

that sounss aboslutely DEVASTATING btw. oh my god. so the whole thing is like.. she remembers him but he doesnt remember her ?? GODDDD thats so upsetting. im glad hes getting 2 take a nap even if it is a depression one sigh. oh man oh man i love this.

my day was! good i think! i have not had a day to reat since my whole job shadow debacle last week so im kimd of running on fumes BUT . i have off work tmw so im gonna get a haircut and feel all good about everything. and maybe work on some art bc im now caught up to my pre prepped invertober images and i have a couple other time sensitive things like that. ougah. we keep truckin. ive got a huge backlog of youtube videos to watch from last week + beginning of this week i cannot Wait to get thru those and also watch more adventure time !! bc i have offically gotten to Stakes (a marcelone centric mini series) and it is one of my favorite eras ever. i love you vampire lore!!!

#im like... skooo tired rn. i dont have ANY more words left in me. #but like i also dont want 2 sleep yet #i didnt shower this morning bc our gas lines have been down for like 3 days and we ran out of hot water #BUT theyre back up now. but also its like 11pm and my family is asleep and i dont want to wake them up #but i feel soooooo gross and greasy #+ my hair is at that point where its like. Uncomfortably Long. getting back into oh fuck i look like a girl territory. eugh #but its FINE bc im getting it CUT tomorrow. my favorite place had one (1) opening tomotrow afternoon so i snatched that shit up RIGHT away #uhhh what else. i watched some scary movies today those r always fun. #every day i yearn to be a) a man covered in blood or b) a vampire bite victim but like in a fun homoerotic way #those two things are not mutually exclusive but you know what i mean. i need 2 look like will graham #asks #friends!!! #anachronistic-falsehood #i am also revisiting an old blorbo rn and the nostalgia is hitting sooooo badly #i will not name this blorbo bc im not into public humiliation like that but ohh my god. favoritest guy ever. #fundamentally changed my life type character. #category 7 insane person moment. we stay silly !!! #im like. sooooo sleepy and rambly but also i feel a little bit like an oyster rn

[cosmic-kaden]

I feel like Ronnie is like me in a sense, we're both really fucking chill and we don't really get angry at all, I feel like much like myself Ronnie would really REALLY have to have something super terrible to happen in order to get pissed.

When we snap, we SNAP.

#Also been told by several people 'you have SOOOOO much patience' #Literally have been told by people 'you're always so chill and okay with everything.' and then when something really sets me off like reall #badly and I snap suddenly I'm 'scary' and given how Ronnie handles everything in the movie he basically was chill and didn't have reactions #to anything including his friends becoming undead I feel like he's like me it will take A LOT to piss us off but when it happens fucking ru #because we get scary. #SO I HC HE'S LIKE ME IN THAT SENSE! no one can stop meeee #those who slay together stay together

[evil-scientist-anton]

why does this guy sound like me when i drink too much mysterious green fluid

#(guys. GUYS #okay i knew about a verbal equinox for a while but haven’t listened to their songs yet for some reason????? i forgor #i love will wood #anton #yeah #this song is so #feels like bugs crawling in my ears and nesting in my brain but in a good way #sounds like anton it has that silly energy to it and like #gives me anton vibes i can’t explain #i mean. every will wood song gives me anton vibes obviously cuz that’s his voice but this one is sooooo soo fucking silly i love it #i want anton to inject will wood songs in my bloodstream for me cuz im scared of needles #this song sounds like if anton was at a party drunk on green science stuff singing karaoke badly having the time of his life #they call him doctor sunshine #woooow #will wood brain worms #in my brain) #Spotify

[hella1975]

LADY NAGANT!!!!!!

#SHES HEREEEEEEEEEEE #lady nagant fired for attempted unionisation she was ahead of her time fr </3 #overhaul 😭 he's such a wet little mess of a man yeah no u just sit in the rain while she does all the work it's fine #ough her getting overhaul out of tartarus bc he couldn't do it himself. i fucking hate overhaul but #there's smthn about lady nagant still showing heroic tendencies even after all this time and everything that happened #like is she evil or did she just snap after years being forced to be a blind government dog for the Very Corrupt Hero Commission? #such a compelling question. we may never know (it is explicitely shown to us the fandom just collectively has the brain capacity of a 2 y/o #'you told the others to go wild so why am i the only one whose freedom comes at a price?' :(((( she's never been truly free :(( #i think she deserves to go wild personally i think lady nagant should blow up the hpsc and all for one too actually #she's everything i want hawks to be like hawks u want ur lady nagant era sooooo badly pls pls pls arent u tired of being nice #mha #mha spoilers

[asherinn]

there's something about continually watching your friends with work from home jobs go to events and parties and catch covid when you're probably never in your life going to have that privilege lol

#i really can't explain what it was like to work at a fucking grocery store at the height of things to people who didn't experience it lol we #were treated sooooo badly by y'all

[kakusu-shipping]

Sup mother fucker I don't know what damn thing about you and your shit but I heard you like Luca Blight and I'm willing to chat as an anon about this I've given up.

I have this unhinged thought in regarding your little post....What if the very funny thing that the reader is doing is just being a pig full-time.

This is straight up your life now. 24/7

The girly you seen in the beginning stop acting like a pig and that was her mistake she should have committed. ( lmao what if you did it unprompted with no hesitation completely unbothered)

You are on borrowed time and you don't want to become bacon so oink oink forever you guess.

Drop to the ground start rolling in the mud and eating grass

Maybe after a while he'll let you stand and not eat off the floor? .... probably not

Tis I, the Luca Blight fucker, and by that I mean I love him so deeply he's such a mess I could never fix him and neither could anyone else and I love that for him. Unhinged to the extreme

It's like pet pay but completely non sexual and not even in a Soft Wholesome Ace Dom/Sub way you are just an object to him, at most an animal to his side, a beast he can toy with as he pleases. He is a spoiled 5 year old and you are the declawed kitten his daddy got him for Christmas. He will hold you, he will throw you, he will hurt you and love you and do as he pleases and you have no say in the matter.

The concept of Luca taking you around though, to villages he burns to see that you will never have an escape, to meetings to show how loyal everyone is to him, how total his control is, how guarded you are. You're not an example to them, they're an example to you. You have nothing else but him.

And he's not even holding you out of love, he doesn't even really force you to stay, at least to him. Sure your options are Stay or Die but it's not like he's actively gripping onto you or chaining you up at night. If you ran, and died by his guards, it would not affect him, thought he would have liked to do it himself, in the end it means nothing to him to see your corpse.

He'd be a perfect Yandere to write about but he doesn't even care about you. You are nothing to him, like everyone else is this putrid world he hates. He keeps you because you're mildly more amusing than the other pigs of the lands, because you committed to being a pig for him, because you chose to live in shame on all fours eating off the floor rather than die with your head held high.

You're like him in that way.

#Luca Blight #Luca Blight X Reader #Suikoden ii #Suikoden 2 #Suikoden X Reader #Proship #Yandere #This mother fucker (affectionate) #Anon I thank you for showing interest in the fucking guy ever what is wrong with him #I love you Reader who chose life in disgrace over death with pride #The overlap with Luca is beautiful like unreal <3 #He does not feel anything for you he doesn't feel anything for anyone anymore #But he sees his mirror self in you and at the very least the irony of showing you mercy where he was given cruelty makes him laugh #This world will burn and it will be his fault and if you really want you can be there along side him #His faithful pig... Nothing more than a pet. #Yes yes yes yes he's soooooo fucked up #I would write this fic if I knew the first fucking thing about agnst #I need my boyfriend to play this game and be insane about it sooooo badly jgkfdjgd #Remakes come soon please!!! #actually don't I'm broke atm fdjkgjfdjg but still

[fagoutboy]

the more i think about the 60th specials the angrier and more despondent i get. i actually wish rtd had never come back get him out of here

#seeing old stuff of eccleston vaguely talking shit on rtd and his cronies.. thinking about how badly written the specials were #not just in a storytelling sense but also politically. he somehow got so much worse #and he was already very dubious in his original run especially in regards to race and i am SCARED of him penning the first black doctor #uh. i just wish theyd gotten someone new who wasnt a piece of shit. #idk im just so nervous lol rtds writing has taken a nosedive into being absolute crap where he drops in little cancel culture lines #and shit like that and nonsense dictator of the planet doctor moments to quickly wrap up a problem and no critical analysis #of anything thats going on ever. its actually horrific #im sooooo so fucking nervous for s14 lol #peter capaldi save me (i need to rewatch 12 to feel better) #txt

[running-in-the-dark]

my (virtual) meeting with my thesis advisor is in... 7 hours. I'm sort of almost finished writing the exposé that I was supposed to write. sort of. I'll probably need another hour or two until I feel okay enough about it to actually get any sleep.

unfortunately my left arm is realllly starting to hurt and I can't lift it much anymore (thanks to the covid booster I got today). hopefully I'll get it done anyway. and hopefully the pain won't be so bad that I can't sleep.

#I mean. if I get... idk like 3-4 hours of sleep that should be enough #I only have to be awake until the meeting is over. then I'll probably go back to bed. #and that way if it goes really really badly I can escape from that by being asleep lol #I hope it'll be okay 😭 I'm so scared #but it's this... much more quiet subtle kind of scared. I never experienced that before the anxiety meds #so it feels weird. #I haven't even cried yet! no panic attacks or anything! there have been a few meltdowns but not specifically about this #so I have to keep reminding myself that this is fine! I can handle this! it used to be sooooo much worse and I somehow got through that too #so I will definitely get through this and it will be okay #after all - no matter what happens. I'll be done with uni in February. I won't have to speak to my advisor ever again (so if he thinks I'm a #fucking idiot it doesn't matter at all!) #this is far from the hardest thing I've done! I was my dad's carer. I got my driver's license (yes that was very hard for me). I was in #therapy. I lived in abusive households until I was 25! this is easy in comparison #it just feels hard because I can't stand the feeling of being judged. and this is. just. me being judged (for what I write) #but it will be okay and I'll never write anything like this ever again and I'll get a break and I'll find a job I don't hate and it'll all #be worth it #personal #posts about my thesis