#like the very first getting-to-know-you questions feel like nonstarters so just. no people for me. :(

[aeide-thea]

tiny sad shriveled walnut feelings, lol

#it's fine i'm like. gonna go curl up in bed cozy about it which ought 2 help. swaddle the baby #increasingly as i age i sort of vaguely feel like i ought to be aging out of this but unfortunately idt that's how brains work #like you may age out of seeming sympathetic but you don't actually age out of feeling sad #or like. combination of loneliness and depression and vague existential anxiety. whatever. idk. sad. #anyway i gotta get back 2 biking. can't be sad when yr whole body is a sandbag #i like. honestly i'm not in a good place to be dating anybody but like. WOULD like to curl up with somebody quietly. #be warm and heavy in company. maybe kiss a bit. idk. #small wistful feelings. i'd be nice to touch i promise. #unfortunately all the brainstuff that makes me want these things is also all the brainstuff that cuts me off from them. #like the very first getting-to-know-you questions feel like nonstarters so just. no people for me. :( #maybe the cat will want to come cuddle. we can only hope

[morlock-holmes]

I've been chewing on this story from New York Magazine, whose financial advice columnist just got scammed out of $50 large by a group of scumbags.

The reactions have been sort of divided between vicious mockery and "Anybody can fall victim to scams on a bad day" and I find myself somewhere ambivalently in the middle.

How can I say this... I think I would need to be having a much worse day than this woman was in order to fall for a scam like this. In particular, it really seems like a financial advice columnist ought to have a much more solid confidence about the fact that enormous personal financial transactions like this don't ever need to happen in the span of a single phone call over a few hours.

But I don't agree with the attitude of "Come on, this is what happens when you're gullible" because, honestly I think that when people start believing that on a big scale that scams like this become easier to pull, rather than harder.

This particular scam is, I think, much easier to pull on people who are paranoid about the trustworthiness of institutions and feel that we live in a world where gullible people are rapidly and harshly punished.

One thing you'll see throughout the article is that the scammers will say something authoritative, and Cowles won't really know if it's true or not:

“I completely understand,” he said calmly. He told me to go to the FTC home page and look up the main phone number. “Now hang up the phone, and I will call you from that number right now.” I did as he said. The FTC number flashed on my screen, and I picked up. “How do I know you’re not just spoofing this?” I asked. “It’s a government number,” he said, almost indignant. “It cannot be spoofed.” I wasn’t sure if this was true and tried Googling it, but Michael was already onto his next point.

Or

My head swam. I Googled my name along with “warrant” and “money laundering,” but nothing came up. Were arrest warrants public? I wasn’t sure.

Or

 I was embarrassed, like I’d left my fly unzipped. How could I have been so thoughtless? But also — didn’t everyone use the airport Wi-Fi?

or

I knew I should probably talk to a lawyer or maybe call the police, though I was doubtful that they would help. What was I going to say — “My identity was stolen, and I think I’m somehow in danger”? I had no proof.

Here's the core of the scam, where you're hooked or not:

“If you talk to an attorney, I cannot help you anymore,” Michael said sternly. “You will be considered noncooperative. Your home will be raided, and your assets will be seized. You may be arrested. It’s your choice.” This seemed ludicrous. I pictured officers tramping in, taking my laptop, going through our bookshelves, questioning our neighbors, scaring my son. It was a nonstarter. “Can I just come to your office and sort this out in person?” I said. “It’s getting late, and I need to take my son trick-or-treating soon.” “My office is in Langley,” he said. “We don’t have enough time. We need to act immediately. I’m going to talk you through the process. It’s going to sound crazy, but we must follow protocol if we’re going to catch the people behind this.”

The scammer in this script is trying to get you to have two feelings, the first is "I don't understand what's going on" and the second is, "If I act without understanding what's going on something really terrible will happen to me."

The person who thinks, "Gullible and ignorant people get in lots of trouble because of their own ignorance, I can't let that happen, even though I'm confused" is far more likely to buy into the scammer's threats of dire consequences and actually get scammed.

This scam script actually relies on the mark believing that it's very dangerous to be gullible or ignorant, that doing so will get them into trouble. But since they are also convinced that they don't have the information that would allow them to make a good decision, they cede decision-making power to the scammer.

Instead, it's the person who thinks, "This feels like a scam. I could be totally wrong about that, but that's okay, being wrong this way and acting on it can't do me any harm" who hangs up on the scammer, calls an official government number, and finds out that they're being scammed.

When people live in a state where they reflexively mistrust institutions, and feel that acting from a place of ignorance or confusion is likely to get them into really big trouble that they can't get out of, I really think it becomes easier to scam people this way, not harder.

#scams

[iceeckos12]

Prompt: Jongerrymartin but make it noir.

HI PIT. this was probably not what you were expecting, but hope you enjoy *jazz hands* this is current jongerry, pre-jgm

please let me know if i should tag anything!

Martin stared up at the faded gold lettering painted on the door, wiping a clammy palm against the fabric of his trousers. The other gripped his manila folder tightly, refusing to loosen his grip for even a second, not after all the trouble he’d gone through to get it.

Delano & Sims, the words read. Private Detectives.

He’d talked to one of them over the phone yesterday, a man with an achingly posh accent, who’d said to come at precisely fourteen hundred hours and not a moment later. That clipped, dry tone had almost been enough to scare him off, but...no, he needed this too much to run away.

Martin took a deep breath, and knocked.

“Come in,” a voice called, and he pushed inside.

The first thing he noticed were the swirls of cigarette smoke so thick that the weak light overhead glowed a thin silver. His eyes immediately began to water at the intensity of the smell, and he desperately wanted to bury his nose in his collar.

There was an exasperated sigh from one shrouded corner of the room, and then, “Christ—Jon, open the window, would you?”

“Oh, right, sorry,” There was a clatter as the blinds lifted, and then a solid thunk, and suddenly fresh air and natural light was pouring through the open window, throwing the room in stark relief.

“Sorry about that,” the man next to the window said, leaning heavily on a handsome wooden cane. He was just a wisp of a thing, dressed in a sweater vest like he was some sort of professional academic, with salt and pepper grey hair and dark, keen eyes. “Forgot we had someone coming.”

This must be the person I talked to over the phone, Martin realized. Sims.

“Do me a favor and try not to kill our clients, Jon.” He quickly turned to look at Delano—who else could it be?—who was stepping away from the fan now juddering to life, swirling the quickly dissipating smoke. It was almost startling how different the two partners were; where Sims was thin and short, Delano was tall and wiry, with inky black hair and cool, gunmetal eyes. The weathered leather trench coat and chunky boots had obviously seen some better days.  “We need all the ones we can get.”

Martin’s face flushed as he was struck by how unfairly attractive these two people were.

“Duly noted,” Sims drawled, limping over to the heavy desk stacked high with papers. He set the cane aside and propped himself against it with a quiet sigh, then gestured toward one of the ratty looking chairs. “Take a seat, Mr. Blackwood.”

Martin shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, I don’t…”

“No need to stand on decorum, not around here.” Delano pointedly plopped into the chair behind the desk, grin wide and toothy. “Jon just likes to pretend that we’re more professional than we actually are.”

“We’re professional,” Sims protested, sounding deeply offended. “Just...unorthodox.”

“Well, alright,” Martin said, and lowered into the surprisingly comfortable chair.

Delano cleared his throat. “Right. So what brings you to us, Mr. Blackwood?”

Martin thought for a moment, not wanting to speak rashly, or to give away anything too personal. “Well, I’ve heard rumors that you two are capable of...discretion, so to speak, and I would prefer that this doesn’t get spread around.”

“Ah.” Sims’ eyes quickly flicked up and down his body, one eyebrow raising. “Out of curiosity, can I ask who referred you to us?”

“Tim Stoker?” Martin shuffled. “He said that you helped him out of a similar bind not too long ago.”

Sims and Delano glanced at each other, their eyebrows doing a complicated little dance, though what information could’ve been conveyed through such a medium, Martin had no clue. They turned to look at him again in unison, expressions very serious.

“When you say similar…” Delano trailed off.

Martin immediately shook his head. “Oh, nothing to do with the Circus. I’m not stupid enough to get involved with them after what happened with Tim and his brother.”

They both relaxed immediately.

“That’s good for you,” Delano told him. “We’ve run afoul of Nikola and her merry band far too many times for comfort. If you’d said you’d gotten on her bad side, I’m afraid we would’ve had to ask you to leave.”

Martin glanced at Sims, who was staring very hard at his feet, then Delano, who was observing him calmly, patiently, the way a bird of prey sights down a mouse. “Oh.”

“Quite,” Sims murmured.

“Anyway,” Delano gave a wide, grandiose gesture. “Please. Why have you come to us?”

The manila folder suddenly felt very, very heavy, and he fiddled with one of the corners, rubbing the material between his fingers. “Well...I work for this, um, this shipping company. I mostly do busywork, administrative tasks, that sort of thing. It’s not very glamorous, but it—it pays really well, despite the company being kind of small.” Martin traced the grain of the paper with one finger. “I think it handles a lot of….specialty items.”

“And the name of this company?” Sims asked, pen poised over the little notebook he’d appeared from seemingly nowhere.

Anxiety plummeted his stomach into his toes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t feel comfortable giving away that information.”

Delano’s eyebrows rose. “Discretion, remember? Besides, we’ll need to know if we’re going to be able to help you.”

“If we decide to help you,” Sims muttered.

Martin took a few fortifying breaths, swallowing the nausea down. “Right,” he murmured. “Right. It’s, um...Tundra shipping company? Run by Mr. Peter Lukas.”

Sims went very, very still, pen poised above his notebook, expression fixed like it’d been molded into his face. Delano loomed forward, the gunmetal of his eyes gleaming like the sun reflecting off of a loaded barrel. “Is that so?”

Martin glanced toward Sims, wondering at his demeanor, then turned back to Delano and nodded. “Yeah. You two—you know him?”

“Do we.” Delano let out a dry chuckle. “Continue.”

“Right.” Martin shook his head. “Well, one day I was doing some bookkeeping, just...routine stuff, you know? But I noticed something off with the numbers, like...really wrong. And I double checked my math several times just to make sure, but…” he swallowed. “I think that someone may be cooking the books, or...or something. I don’t know.

“Anyway, I went back the next day but the numbers had been changed, and—and Mr. Lukas called me into his office and said some really weird stuff that I think may have been a threat? It was hard to tell.” Martin shook his head, biting his lip. “There’s been other stuff, too. Contracts with companies that I know don’t exist, visitors at odd hours. I think something really rotten is going on, but I don’t think that I can handle it myself.”

Delano and Sims shared an unhappy look. Then Sims pushed away from the desk and began to circle the perimeter of the room, his eyebrows furrowing into a thunderstorm on his brow.

“We’d love to finally be able to pin something substantial on the bastard—on Lukas,” Delano said. “But insinuating those types of claims without a shred of evidence...that’s a nonstarter. We’re going to need a little bit more than that.”

“But I do have evidence?” Martin asked, lifting the manila folder. “I took photocopies of the pages, and notated where the discrepancies were.” He wrinkled his nose. “I wasn’t about to just write on official financial records. There’s also some of the weird contracts I was talking about. I kept copies of everything.”

Sims, who’d walked out of sight while Martin had been talking, suddenly appeared behind him, reaching for the folder. “Can I see?”

“Be careful with it, that’s the only copy,” Martin said nervously, but handed it over.

Sims walked back over to the desk, hopped up on the edge, and eagerly tipped the contents of the folder on the space between him and Delano. They quickly sifted through the papers, wordlessly handing things to each other like a seamless, well-oiled machine.

“This is good.” Delano’s voice was almost hushed, almost awed. “This is...really good, actually.”

“But you see why I can’t go to the police with this, right?” Martin twisted his hands fitfully. “You see why I need your help.”

“Of course not,” Sims said dismissively, though there was an eager gleam in his eyes. “The police are so deep in Lukas’ pocket you might as well have kissed your life goodbye if you’d gone to them.”

“Oh.” Martin swallowed, trying and failing to come up with anything more intelligent than that. “Oh.”

Delano drummed his fingers against the desk pensively. “Speaking of, it wouldn’t be a good idea to pursue this recklessly. We appreciate you bringing this to us, but it does put you in a significant amount of danger. Do you have friends or family outside the country you can stay with, Mr. Blackwood?”

“Um…” He had cousins in Poland, he was pretty sure. Whether or not they would take him in was another question entirely. “Possibly.”

Sims reluctantly gathered the papers up and slid them back into the manila folder, before holding it out. “Come back when you’ve got something lined up.”

Martin lifted a quelling hand as he got to his feet. “I’d...prefer you hold onto it, honestly. It’s probably safer with you.”

Sims blinked, then shrugged and set the folder back down. “I see.”

“We’ll be seeing you later, Mr. Blackwood.” Delano’s grin was a sharp, toothy thing. Despite its grimness, Martin found himself inexplicably comforted by it.

“Please,” he corrected before he could help himself. “Call me Martin.”

-0-

“So,” Gerry said, long after Martin had left and the excitement had faded. He filled a glass with some ice, then tipped a finger of whisky over the top. “What do you think?”

“I don’t trust him,” Jon said almost before Gerry had finished talking, accepting the glass with a quiet murmur of thanks. “It’s a bit too good to be true. After years of searching, someone just...emerges with hard evidence of Peter’s wrongdoings?” An incredulous snort. “I don’t think so.”

Gerry propped himself up against the edge of the desk, staring at the dark bags under his partner’s eyes, the cynical curve of his mouth. He looked exhausted. “You never know,” he said mildly, taking a sip of his whiskey sour before continuing. “I think we’re about due for a lucky break.”

“We don’t get lucky breaks. We get fooled into thinking that we have a lucky break, only to get royally fucked later,” Jon snapped, thumping his cane against the ground for emphasis. “You should know that by now.”

Gerry frowned. “Don’t take this out on me.”

Jon metaphorical hackles went up, and for a moment it looked as though he were about to start shouting—but then he abruptly deflated and looked away. “No, you’re right, it’s just…”

Gerry sighed. It was difficult to stay angry at Jon when he bore such a striking resemblance to a kicked puppy. “I get it.”

They fell silent for a moment, sipping their drinks, lost in their respective thoughts.

“Shall we go?” Gerry asked, setting his glass aside.

Jon paused for a moment longer, before letting out a long, gusty sigh and draining what was left in his drink. “Sure.”

The elevator was still broken, so unfortunately they had to take the stairs. While Gerry knew better than to offer any assistance, his heart still clenched at how tight with pain Jon’s jaw had gone by the time they reached the bottom. They stopped for a few seconds to let Jon get his breath back, before continuing toward home.

About a block away from the office, they froze at the sound of pounding footsteps growing unmistakably closer.

“Hear that?” Jon murmured out of the corner of his mouth, the dying light of the sun glinting off the switchblade in his free hand.

“Mmhm,” Gerry hummed, slipping a hand into his pocket.

Martin was very, very lucky that Gerry recognized him as he rounded the corner; otherwise, it was very likely that Jon would’ve run him through. As it was, Martin crashed into them both, gasping frantically for air, cheeks flushed, eyes wide with abject terror.

“Martin?” Jon demanded, shoving the switchblade away. “What the hell are you—”

“They’re after me,” Martin gasped out, scrabbling at Gerry’s coat. “They—I don’t know how they found out, but they, Peter, he—”

“Shit,” Gerry muttered, suddenly becoming aware of the second set of pounding footsteps growing nearer. He took a moment to assess their surroundings, before grabbing Martin’s shoulders and hauling him into the nearby alley. “Martin, hide behind that dumpster. Jon, distraction time.”

Despite the situation, Jon’s eyes lit up with an exhilarated gleam. Gerry had just enough time to fondly think, adrenaline junkie, before Jon tucked his cane over his wrist, twisted his hands in Gerry’s lapels, and shoved him against the wall for a bruising kiss.

Gerry gasped into Jon’s mouth, his hands instinctively falling to cup Jon’s slim hips. He deepened the kiss, humming encouragingly when Jon shoved his jacket over his shoulders, exposing the thin black t-shirt beneath.

Jon was just beginning to press little kisses down the juncture of his jaw and neck when the harsh beam of a torch fell on them. Jon, who’d been a drama queen long before he’d joined am dram in uni, pulled away with a theatrical gasp, his annoyance almost startlingly genuine. Gerry tucked his face out of the way and adjusted his jacket, affecting embarrassment.

“Do you mind?” Jon asked.

“Oh,” the person on the other end of the torch said, sounding distinctly uncomfortable. Gerry tried to peek a look, but the beam was too strong for him to see into the darkness beyond it. “Sorry to disturb you sirs, um...you wouldn’t happen to have seen a person—?”

“No, we haven’t seen a person.” Keeping one hand curled in Gerry’s jacket, Jon took a step back, lifting his chin defiantly. “Now if you’ll excuse us, we were busy.”

“Right,” the person muttered, and then the torchlight abruptly vanished, dropping them once more into the dying light of the sun.

They stood there for a moment, Jon breathing hard, cheeks flushed. Gerry tipped his head back against the wall, letting his eyes flutter shut as his pumping heart slowed.

Then the grip in his collar loosened, and Jon let out a pained groan and sank against the wall. “Fuck.”

“Alright, take it easy,” Gerry murmured. He pressed a kiss against Jon’s hair and rubbed a soothing hand against his back. “You did beautifully.” Then louder, “Martin, you can come out now.”

There was a brief pause, and then a shadow tentatively emerged from behind the dumpster. Martin looked far less rattled than he had when he’d first run around the corner, though there was still a healthy flush to his cheeks. He peered up the alley, wringing his hands. “Are they…”

“For now,” Jon said, grimacing as he dug his knuckles into the tight muscles. “We should leave before they get back.”

Martin’s eyes honed in on him. “Will you be okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” Jon snapped, straightening. “You should be more worried about yourself. You can’t go home, right?”

The question seemed to remind Martin of the current situation, because his eyes went a little wild again. “No, they...I left to do a bit of shopping, and then came back and, and there they were.”

They fell silent for a moment, considering that.

“Well, there’s nothing for it,” Jon said brusquely. “You’ll have to come home with us.”

“What?” Martin gaped.

Gerry was already nodding. “We don’t have much room, but we can make up the couch for you.”

That only seemed to make Martin all the more aghast. “Wait! Wait, won’t that put you in danger?”

Gerry looked up and met Jon’s gaze.

“We have...a certain degree of protection,” Gerry hazarded delicately. “It won’t do much against the likes of Peter himself, but lesser threats…”

“You’ll be fine,” Jon completed. “Now unless you want to run into them again, we had better get going.”

Martin glanced mutely between them, looking like he wanted nothing more than to argue. Then his shoulders slumped, probably realizing that he had no other choice considering how dire the situation was.

“Alright,” he murmured, defeated. “Let’s go.”

#tma #ask #pitviperofdoom #iceeckos12 writes #my writing #jongerrymartin #noir au

[roseinaugust]

Like an Old Enemy

Chapter Seven: Meet Me At Our Spot

Summary: Miraculous Enemies AU. Gabriel Agreste has the Black Cat Miraculous in his possession, so when his wife, Emilie, "disappears," he sends his son, Adrien, undercover to pose as Ladybug's partner. Two years later, the once famous duo are sworn enemies. Marinette might have loved Chat Noir once, but now she would stop at nothing to defeat him. Adrien will do whatever it takes to bring his mother back. Best friends in their civilian lives, Adrien and Marinette find obstacles and complications when they can no longer deny their love for each other. But will they be able to understand and forgive the mistakes of their past? Or will they be doomed to end as bitter rivals a second time?

Rated: T

Pairings: Ladybug/Chat Noir Enemies, Adrien Agreste/Marinette Dupain-Cheng Mutual Pining

Word Count: 9,027

Read on: ao3

A/N: I am only posting part of this chapter on tumblr so please read the rest on ao3!

“No, Adrien.” Gabriel Agreste said with a note of finality.  Adrien’s presence in his office barely disturbed him as he tapped at something on his tablet. 

Adrien hadn’t expected his father to agree right away, but the quickness of Gabriel’s refusal made his temper flare.  His fingers began to ache as he clenched his hands together behind his back to prevent an outburst. Gabriel couldn’t be bothered to stop working long enough to have a conversation with his son. 

Adrien needed to stay focused. He had to be there, he could finally progress with Marinette—although he still didn’t know if it was a date or not. “Father, I understand your concerns,” he didn’t, “but, the entire class is going. It will look suspicious if I am the only one not attending. People are already starting to grow skeptical of how often I miss class, especially after the akuma on the first day of school.” This was a strategy he’d used once before to gain permission to attend Marinette’s birthday party last January. 

Adrien knew the best way to convince his father was to target one of the three things that Gabriel believed were important: his mother, control, or the upkeep of public appearances. The first was a nonstarter; any mention of Emilie would result in punishment. The second would only work if Adrien had something to offer his father in return, which he didn’t. The third however was perfect because it threatened the first two. If anyone grew apprehensive of the Agreste family or the Gabriel brand, everything would collapse. They operated precariously, shrouded in the shadow of secrecy, but there was only so much that could be stuffed in a closet or brushed under a rug. Eventually, someone would peak behind the curtain, unless there was no reason for anyone to go searching. 

Gabriel’s eyes flickered up to Adrien for the first time during their conversation before returning to his work. “You had a perfectly reasonable excuse to miss class that day for your photoshoot. There is no reason for anyone to suspect that you are Chat Noir.” Adrien pictured the lucky charm in his pocket, a reminder of what he was doing this for.

“It’s not me that they are skeptical of; it’s you.” Gabriel’s focus diverted to Adrien instantly. Although he craved the attention earlier, now Adrien wished his father’s gaze would return to the tablet, or to his designs, or really anywhere that wasn’t him. He squirmed under the scrutiny, fidgeting and taking a step backwards. He could do this, he was going to fight for what he wanted. “Scheduling a photoshoot on the first day of school brought up questions about your parenting. They are concerned that you’re too strict.” His father’s face was unreadable, a neutral landscape with maybe a hint of annoyance, but Adrien knew mines were buried underneath. He needed to tread carefully. “No one believes you are Hawkmoth, but if someone begins to look into our family…” Adrien trailed off at the sight of his father’s hardening face. He gulped. “If you permit me to go tonight, it should be enough to dispel any concerns.”

Gabriel’s brow lowered, his mouth a line of displeasure. He weighed the options before dropping his attention back to the tablet in his hands. “My decision stands. You are not going.” 

Adrien dropped his hands from behind his back, unable to restrain himself. “But, wh-why?” He sputtered, incredulous at this refusal. His father ignored him, typical of his dismissals. Adrien was expected to accept the answer and leave, but he stood motionless in the center of the office. He couldn’t accept this, he needed to be at Andre’s tonight. Disbelief mutated into anger. How was he not concerned? Sure, Adrien was exaggerating the severity of his classmate’s suspicions, but how could Gabriel be so blasé? “It’s just ice cream. I’ll be home—”

“No, Adrien.” Gabriel interrupted, refusing to look up at his son. The sucker punch of his father’s stubbornness knocked the wind out of Adrien. Crescent moons imprinted on his palms as he balled his fists by his sides, red-hot anger burning inside him. 

“But—” His negotiation attempts were once again cut short.

“No.” Gabriel clipped. 

“Why can’t I go with my friends?” The words overflowed before Adrien could stop them. The incessant tapping on the tablet halted at once as Gabriel snapped his focus to his son. 

“Friends?” He asked through gritted teeth. “I didn’t send you to school to make friends. You are there to learn Ladybug’s civilian identity—something you have failed to achieve for the past year!” Although Gabriel remained seated, Adrien stayed alert. He was close enough to the door that should his father pounce, he could escape. “I have allowed you to stay in school despite your inadequacy to complete this task, but it seems my generosity has spoiled you. Perhaps I should withdraw you from school.” 

Adrien’s eyes widened as he followed the thread of his father’s threat. School was his only lifeline, providing him with a few glorious hours of reprieve from Gabriel and this insufferable house. Without school, he knew the isolation would suffocate him. No Nino, no Marinette, just the expansive fortress of his house and the ever-tightening collar of Gabriel’s control. Any anger welling inside him spiraled down the drain, replaced immediately with quickening heartbeats of dread. “No!” He winced at his desperation and hung his head. 

“No what, Adrien?” He scowled at his son, his voice rough as gravel.

“Don’t take me out of school.” Disgust. That’s all Adrien could feel as he begged his father. He was a coward. A useless, intimidated, coward, and he hated himself for the power Gabriel held over him. He’d always surrounded himself with powerful and brave women—his mother, Ladybug, Marinette—to help him find his courage, but without them by his side he was the same scared boy that he feared he would always be. He didn’t have the strength to fight his father alone. And so he didn’t fight; he followed orders, became docile and sacrificed the things he wanted to be able to survive. “Please.” He lifted his head in time to see the twisted turn of glee spreading across his father’s face. 

“Very well, but anymore outbursts and I will not be so lenient.” 

“Thank you, father.” Adrien choked out, hating the fact that he needed to act grateful to Gabriel. 

“Go to your room and be prepared for an akuma tonight.” He resumed working on the tablet. 

Although he was dismissed, Adrien stood still, attempting to collect himself. This was not how today was supposed to go. He should be on his way to meet Marinette. She was going to be so disappointed. By some miracle, she had agreed to go with him, and now all of his efforts and anxieties were in vain. She’d understand—she always did when the topic of his father was brought up—but it wouldn’t change the fact that he wasn’t there. 

His hands snaked inside his pockets once he started to move towards the exit. His fingers found their way to the lucky charm, a habit after months with the talisman. As much as he wanted to believe in the gift from Marinette, he knew it was obsolete. If it were true, he would have been able to stand up to his father, he would be brave, and free. If it had worked, he would have the things he wanted. Yet, once again, they were just out of his reach. He was a dog, snapping at the tantalizing bone placed farther than his chain allowed. He pulled every which way to reach the prize, but it never budged. He could never get closer, tiring with every second that passed with his struggle, and Gabriel—his owner—loomed behind him, threatening to pull the chain back, dragging Adrien farther and farther away from the bone. Eventually, he would stop struggling; but he still had some bite left in him today.

He reached the heavy wooden door to the foyer and paused. Eyes forward, refusing to look back at his father, Adrien clenched his jaw. Resentment overpowered his obedience as he said, “I wish it were you instead. I wish you had disappeared instead of mom.” 

“And I wish it were you.”

A/N: Reminder that this is only part of the chapter so read the rest here

#Miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #ml enemies au #ladynoir enemies #adrienette mutual pining #ladynoir #adrienette #angst fic #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #my fic #like an old enemy

[truemedian]

Samsung Galaxy A51 review: Wait for a price drop

Image credit: Chris Velazco/Engadget It's not a bad phone, just a bad deal. (In the US, anyway.)

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Samsung got me. On paper, the company's Galaxy A51 appears to have everything you could want out of a $400 smartphone. A big, pretty screen. A multitude of cameras. A 4,000mAh battery. A flagship-inspired design, and a headphone jack. As an avid -- some might say rabid -- fan of ambitious midrange smartphones, I was ready for the A51 to take its place alongside other modestly priced standouts like the Pixel 3a XL and the iPhone SE. It never did.That’s not to say the Galaxy A51 is a bad phone. Samsung got a lot right here, and over a week of testing, I found it perfectly pleasant at times. Sadly, all the things the company handled well couldn't fully offset some janky, inconsistent performance: This is a $400 device that sometimes runs like a $250 one. I don’t think that's enough to make the A51 a bad smartphone, but it does make it a bad deal. Excellent design Big and beautiful AMOLED screen Flexible multi-camera system Laggy performance Camera quality is largely unremarkable Mediocre battery life Samsung’s Galaxy A51 packs a great screen, a handful of cameras, and a big battery -- what more could you ask from a mid-range smartphone? Well, more consistent performance, for one. Despite using a reasonably powerful chipset, the A51 is often plagued by slow app launches and laggy animations, to the point when it sometimes feels like a device that costs much less. Battery life wasn’t as good as we had hoped for, either. While Samsung got a lot right with the Galaxy A51, it never feels as consistently nice to use as some of truly great devices available in its price range.

Be the first to review the Galaxy A51 LTE? Your ratings help us make the buyer’s guide better for everyone. Write a review Key specs ConfigurationsThe Galaxy A51 I've been testing is a Verizon Wireless model with 4GB of RAM and 128GB of storage. (Disclaimer: Verizon is Engadget's parent company, but it has no influence over what we say.) Sprint and AT&T also offer this version of the A51, and no matter which carrier you choose, they'll all sell you the phone outright for $399. That doesn't sound too steep, but it's worth noting that the phone can be had for less when purchased unlocked, especially if you live outside the United States. If you're serious about owning an A51, scouting out a good deal is a must: This isn't worth $400.

Chris Velazco/Engadget Image credit: Chris Velazco/Engadget Flagship styleIf there's one thing Samsung deserves credit for, it's that the A51 in no way looks like a $400 phone. With a surprisingly trim frame; an eye-catching, light-refracting finish; and some incredibly small bezels, this midrange model could easily pass for a phone that costs twice as much. As far as I'm concerned, this is the best-looking midrange smartphone out there. Just keep in mind that thanks to its display, the A51 might be a nonstarter for people with smaller hands -- it's thin but still plenty large.Of course, since this phone costs a fraction of what a flagship does, Samsung had to be judicious about balancing style and substance. Consider Samsung's choice of materials: Wrapping a phone in glass quickly makes its price tag jump, so the company used what it calls "Glasstic" for the A51's body. As the name suggests, that just means this phone has a plastic frame that sort of feels like glass if you don't scrutinize it too much. The Galaxy A51 also lacks an IP-rating for water and dust resistance, which is very common for phones in this price range. (Note: If you Google "A51 water resistance," you might see a search result from Verizon claiming the A51 is rated IP68 -- it absolutely is not.) 

Chris Velazco/Engadget The rest of the phone's design is fairly standard. There's a USB-C port that supports 15W fast charging and a combination nanoSIM/microSD card tray on the phone's right side that you can use to augment the standard 128GB of storage. If you're a music fan, you'll also appreciate the proper headphone jack Samsung squeezed into the A51, since its single speaker is pretty awful. What helps elevate the A51's design is its spacious, 6.5-inch, Full HD+ Super AMOLED screen. It's one of Samsung's Infinity-O displays which, if you're allergic to marketing BS, means there's a tiny hole cut out of the panel to accommodate a 32-megapixel front camera. It’s remarkably small and would be easy enough to overlook were it not for the shiny metallic ring surrounding it -- it's almost like Samsung wants you to keep looking at it. Thankfully, the rest of the screen is typical Samsung: Deep blacks, punchy colors, and great viewing angles considering the price. Its max brightness feels a little anemic so outdoor use can be a little tricky at times, but the display is very well-suited to binging on YouTube videos while you're sheltering at home.The screen is very often the most expensive component in a smartphone, and I'm glad that Samsung went with the display it did here. It's not just easy on the eyes; it’s a great rebuttal to devices like the iPhone SE that rely on dated designs to keep costs down. Visually, the A51 is a stunner, but as my parents always used to tell me, looks aren't everything.

Chris Velazco/Engadget Image credit: Chris Velazco/Engadget In use The frustration here begins when you go to unlock the phone. There's an optical fingerprint sensor under the display, and it's... not great. When it does work, it usually takes a while to actually recognize my thumb. Too often, though, the sensor just didn't work. Normally, you'd see a bit of green whooshing around your finger to let you know the sensor was analyzing your print, but that didn't always appear. Repeated screen cleanings didn't fix the issue, and neither did re-enrolling my fingers. For your sanity, maybe just set up a PIN or an unlock pattern instead.Once I made it in, a bigger issue became obvious pretty quickly -- the A51 is noticeably laggy at times. Switching between apps frequently felt choppy, as did thumbing through pages of apps, and even just popping back out to the home screen. You know, the stuff you do every day.To be clear, this doesn’t happen constantly, and I didn’t have much to complain about when the phone was firing on all cylinders. If you're the kind of person who just wants to watch videos and maybe send a few emails to the family, you might not even notice this momentary lag. But if you're a fan of smooth, consistent performance, be prepared for some disappointment -- stuttering animations and delayed app launches are never too far away, and it gets old pretty quickly. Gallery: Samsung Galaxy A51 review photos | 13 Photos

Exactly why the A51 runs the way it does isn't wholly clear, but part of the issue probably lies with Samsung's choice of chipset. Rather than use a Qualcomm Snapdragon like most US-bound Android phones, the company ran with its in-house Exynos 9611. From what I can tell, there's not much difference between this sliver of silicon and the Exynos 9610 Samsung started using in late 2018 -- some of the CPU cores are marginally faster and it supports a wider variety of rear cameras, but that's really it. That Samsung would splurge on a great screen and use a minor refresh of a chip that was announced a little over two years ago tells you a lot about its priorities. The funny thing is, this chipset is no slouch. It falls somewhere between the $250 Moto G Power (with a Snapdragon 665 chipset) and the $470 Pixel 3 XL (with a Snapdragon 670), which is exactly what you'd expect considering how much these phones cost. The A51 benchmarks pretty well, too -- it’s nowhere near flagship level, but well in line with other US-bound devices we’ve seen in this price range. That being the case, it seems more likely that this inconsistent performance is due to a lack of software optimization that could theoretically be fixed in a future update. (For what it’s worth, Samsung wouldn’t confirm that any such updates were in the works.)In fairness to Samsung, people contemplating a $400 smartphone probably know not to expect best-in-class performance. The bigger issue here is that it’s still a considerable sum to drop on a smartphone, and the A51's balance of performance and price just doesn’t feel right. 

Chris Velazco/Engadget The Moto G Power -- a phone that costs $150 less with an older chipset -- manages to run a little more consistently. And the Pixel 3a XL? Forget about it. The difference in smoothness and the overall quality of experience between these devices skews heavily in the Pixel's favor. It’s also worth noting that all three of these phones have 4GB of RAM, so it’s not like Motorola or Google had more resources to work with here. And if you’re not married to Android, there's always the iPhone SE. It's a $400 arrow aimed at Samsung's heart and runs just as well as Apple’s most expensive smartphones. Whether it's because of a heavy touch with software, poor memory management, or something else entirely, this questionable performance makes the A51 hard to recommend for the price. I had hoped that epic battery life would've sweetened the deal here, but it doesn’t. Despite packing a pretty sizable 4,000mAh (along with a mid-range chipset and a screen that only runs at 1080p), the Galaxy A51 is only good for about one full day of use. That's not awful by any stretch, but when other mid-range phones -- like the Moto G Power -- have battery lives measured in days instead of hours, the A51 can't help but feel a little disappointing.

Chris Velazco/Engadget Image credit: Chris Velazco/Engadget Plenty of camerasAt this point, the one thing that could redeem the A51 is truly excellent camera performance. Calling the phone's trio of rear cameras "excellent" would be a stretch, but in most cases, they're good enough.And that's right, I said "trio" although there are four lenses on the A51's rear. Most of the time you'll wind up using the 48-megapixel standard wide camera which, like most other phones with pixel-rich sensors, produces smaller 12-megapixel stills by default. As usual for a Samsung phone, the results feature lots of vivid colors, though pixel-peepers will notice a surprising lack of fine details upon zooming in. That’s despite Samsung’s typical -- and almost stylized -- image processing, too. Big surprise, right? Like nearly every Samsung camera before it, this one seems tuned to deliver images that look slightly nicer than reality. These are great photos to post on Instagram, but maybe not for printing and mounting on your wall. Unfortunately, even the decently wide f/2.0 aperture doesn't help the A51's main camera much in low light -- colors tend to look a little washed out, and details get smeared into oblivion. Gallery: Samsung Galaxy A51 camera samples | 24 Photos

Meanwhile, the 12-megapixel ultra-wide camera turned out to be a pleasant surprise. It captures a 123-degree field of view with minimal barrel distortion around the edges, and its colors are even poppier and more saturated than what you'd get out of the main camera. If you're walking around and shooting photos on a clear day, those pale blue skies will turn out a little more neon than you'd expect. Since this camera is mainly meant to capture lots of attractive, well-lit space, it's no surprise that it struggles more than the main camera does in low light.Rather than a telephoto camera (which was almost certainly too expensive for a phone like this), the A51's third sensor is a 5-megapixel affair for macro photos. I've wondered in the past who spends their time bopping around and looking for very small things to take photos of, but ever since testing the OnePlus 8 Pro, I've become one of those people. It's too bad, then, that this never produced the sort of crisp, super-tight images I was hoping for. That's partially because the camera's image processing seems to iron out some of those minute details, but also because the narrow depth of field means getting everything framed up just right can take some work.And that last lens? It's for a 5-megapixel depth sensor that Samsung uses to capture data for more bokeh-filled portraits. It does its job well. I've seen more than a few phones struggle with accurately separating the subject from its background, but the A51 handles the task without much fuss. Ultimately, no matter which camera you spend the most time with, be prepared for good -- not great -- results. If getting the best overall photo is your biggest concern, you'd still be much better off with one of Google's Pixel 3As or the iPhone SE. Samsung's real edge here doesn't lay in the quality of its images so much as the flexibility that multiple cameras provide.

Chris Velazco/Engadget Wrap-upWith the Galaxy A51, Samsung tried to bring some flagship style and features to an affordable smartphone. It wasn't completely successful, but the effort is appreciated. More than anything, what Samsung really got wrong here (in the US, at least) is the phone's price. If the Galaxy A51 cost closer to $300, as it does in certain overseas markets, Samsung's strange blend of style and stymied performance would be a lot easier to swallow. As it stands, though, the A51 never feels as consistently smooth as some of the truly great devices you can get for around $400 now. Sure, the Pixel 3a XL and the iPhone SE lack the A51’s panache, but they’re just nicer to use. And hey -- if you’re really itching for a Samsung phone and have some latitude in your budget, the slightly more powerful Galaxy A71 might be a better choice. If you can find a sweet deal -- or don't mind trading an older phone in -- the Galaxy A51 isn't a bad option. Anyone who doesn't need a phone now though should wait until Google releases its new mid-range Pixel and decide.  All products recommended by Engadget are selected by our editorial team, independent of our parent company. Some of our stories include affiliate links. If you buy something through one of these links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

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(Super-Saving For An Early Retirement, Part 2: Lessons Learned) [Editor’s Note: This is a lengthy guest post written by a long-time physician reader and his physician wife who wish to remain anonymous. We have no financial relationship.] In August 2015, WCI published my guest post, Super Saving For An Early Retirement. When I first contacted the godfather of physician personal finance with my idea for that post, my motivation was to give something back to him and the blog community from which I’ve taken so much. For a “fluff piece” without much number-crunching meat, it seemed to strike a chord among readers as judged by the amount of interaction in the comments section. It wasn’t a death-metal power-chord like when WCI takes whole life insurance salesmen to task, but it was a chord nonetheless. In any case, the post-guest post outcome was unexpected: I gained way more than I gave. I intended to show unsophisticated investors (like me) that a high savings rate can compensate for lack of knowledge; you don’t have to understand that much about the financial industry to do a credible job of preparing for early retirement. What I didn’t anticipate was the impact that your (WCI’s minions’) collective wisdom in the comments section would have on me. While there were plenty of comments about the topic of super-saving, readers also took the conversation in surprising directions that forced me to ask, “What the heck am I doing with my life?” Lessons Learned With that preamble, the lessons I have learned: #1 Change Your Job Now If you spend much of each day in low-level burnout, fantasizing about giving Admin the middle-finger salute while walking out the door for the last time, perhaps you should change something now. My wife (also a physician, remember) and I were so laser-focused on an imaginary finish-line that we had come to accept the “suck” as part of our lives, as if we had no power to control it. As we learned to endure the suck, it continued to fuel our desire to leave it all behind. Sure, it seems obvious that disliking your job will be a powerful motivator for achieving early retirement. But when the onset of burnout is insidious, you don’t necessarily have an “a-ha” moment in which perspective is gained and the path to improving your current situation becomes clear. However, when one WCI commenter after another hammers away at your sense of powerlessness, suggesting that you can make changes, it helps jump start the process of introspection. PsychMD was one of the first commenters to point out how I might work on my happiness now: “If I was in such a position, I’d tap into that young, naive, idealistic person I was before I started medical school, and try to make those dreams a reality…so I could have more of those rewarding moments.” Then John hit me broadside with: “I am way behind you in terms of retirement but I can tell you I feel so much richer than you because I love coming to work everyday. I mean it is work sometimes but I love it.” He followed that up with a highly applicable anecdote: “I have a friend who was 41 when he looked at his portfolio and saw he had enough, so he reduced his patient time in half and started helping the hospital with the business/leadership side of things. He took a big pay cut but he slowed down and gets a lot out of his new job.” This unleashed a torrent of similar comments that really resonated with me. Thinking about making some changes yourself? The Happy Philosopher has an entertaining, insightful blog dedicated to his journey in this realm. #2: Pulling The Trigger Is Complicated One of the frequent suggestions in the comments on my last post was to cut back my hours at work. With our accumulated assets, that would appear to be a no-brainer, right? Um, not so much. First, we had been obsessing for years over the concept of reaching the “finish line.” I used to play regularly with different online retirement calculators, getting a little endorphin rush every time one calculator’s projections for a successful, even earlier retirement (portfolio lasts 50+ years) were verified by another. Cutting back at work would mean either extending our careers or decreasing our projected yearly spend in retirement. Let’s start with extending our careers. My wife was not, and still isn’t, burned out to the same extent as I. Nonetheless, she is quite looking forward to the day when she can pack it all in. To her, medicine is a job; her identity is not wrapped up in being a doctor. Most days, she doesn’t mind her job too much, but she would never say she loves it (although she does love getting paid a lot for what she considers a relatively easy specialty). If asked the age-old question of “What would you do if you won the lottery tomorrow?” she’d probably say, “Quit my job.” Platinum Level Scholarship Sponsor Now, my turn. The idea of extending my career was tough to wrap my mind around, because it was hard to imagine the job getting that much better after cutting back. My brain just couldn’t seem to process that working less might have a profound impact on my perception of work-life, and that I might appreciate greater career longevity. Which is funny, in retrospect, because my identity is wrapped up in being a physician, and I view medicine somewhere on the spectrum between “calling” and “job,” but closer to calling. So wouldn’t I derive more personal satisfaction from continuing to be engaged in my calling for a longer period of time, if I could make the job more enjoyable? Not only that, but there’s the practical consideration of a kid who has nine more years until graduation from high school, so it’s not like we have the option of taking off for parts unknown for more than 1-2 weeks at a time during the school year. If I’m going to be in town, then it would be lovely to fulfill my mission of helping people while being well-compensated and happier. Next, I’ll address the idea of decreasing our projected yearly spend in retirement. Total nonstarter. As I’ve said before, we were fairly frugal for a very long time, – living like medical students for years – not upgrading to living like residents until several years after completion of our fellowships. For us, an important component of retirement will be reaping the benefit of all that saving done early in our careers, and this will lead to spending a bunch of money. Just like WCI has inflated his lifestyle to include a killer wakeboat and what seems like q.o.week canyoneering/mountaineering/camping excursions, we have become accustomed to frequent vacations at beautiful VRBO rental homes in exotic locales. Although we do much of our own cooking on vacation, we also enjoy dining out at (sometimes) expensive restaurants. In retirement, we expect to travel even more frequently and for longer periods of time. While some of this will surely involve camping, which we love, I would guess that 80% of our yearly travel won’t include sleeping under the stars or staying at hostels. For the past two years, our per-year spend has been just over 100k. Figuring in extra spending for more travel plus taxes, we’d like to have 150-200k/year in retirement. Physician on FIRE, who projects needing 1/3 that amount, just had a heart attack, folks. Does anyone in the room know CPR? #3: Luck Is Not A Strategy Around the time I was ruminating over some of these issues, a buyout of our group practice started to morph from a possibility into a reality. By late 2015, we were presented with an offer that, if consummated, would result in a high six-figure payout to each partner. As my wife and I were both partners, this was very good news. After months of mental constipation, I started to lay the groundwork for cutting back at work. Astute readers may argue that I hadn’t internalized any valuable lesson, seeing how it took the prospect of a massive infusion of cash (that we arguably didn’t need to achieve our goals) to mobilize my cutback effort. I agree that I’d have a more credible claim to enlightenment if I had taken concrete steps prior to the buyout news. I like to think that I would have eventually gotten to the same place without the buyout, but I admit the possibility I wouldn’t have. Hopefully, my thought process about cutting back and my experience with it since implementation will resonate with others on the fence, motivating you to take action more expeditiously. So luck is not a strategy, but it can motivate you to make the changes you should have made anyway. #4: Cutting Back Changed My Life…And Ticked Off My Wife Him: I’ll attempt to present this as balanced of a way as I can, ceding editorial power to my better half so you can rest assured that both sides of the story are told fairly. To put this in context, yes, the buyout deal happened, leading to obliteration of our outstanding student loan and mortgage debt, as well as a very large infusion of cash into our investment portfolio. I had identified my greatest pain point at work, which was the last few hours of each day. Not only was I mentally drained by that point, but after work I had a long drive to get our child and get home. We would often beat my wife home, so I would start cooking dinner as well. The cumulative effect of doing this for years was wearing on me, and it got worse when my daughter was districted to a school that was even farther away. After negotiating with my bosses, I was able to shave off the last couple of hours of office time each day. This addressed the mental exhaustion issue and allowed me to get out with enough time to pick my daughter up from our local bus stop, which is just a few minutes drive from home. I felt the effects of this change immediately. It was light outside when I got off work. I no longer felt beat up by the end of my day. Though I’ve always been good at making time for exercise, I could now exercise and do more stuff with my kid – it wasn’t one or the other. We enrolled our daughter in more after-school activities, to which I could now drive her and watch. On hot days over the summer, we might go stand-up paddle boarding in the late afternoon. I would cook a nutritious meal which would be on the table the moment my wife walked in the door. Homework was done. Kid was happy. Dad was happy. Everything is awesome! #Winning, right? Gold Level Scholarship Sponsor Wrong. After a few months of this new schedule, I started to sense a subtle hostility emanating off my wife. It wasn’t really overt, and I had no clue what was wrong, but I was certainly feeling under-valued and under-appreciated. In my clumsy, male way, I began to lobby for an “Atta boy!” from my wife, hoping that if I pointed out how great it was that I was taking care of our kid and home, she’d show me the love to which I’d become accustomed. Not only didn’t that have the intended effect, but it led to our first “come to Jesus talk” about our new situation. It turns out that I had completely misjudged the depth of my wife’s feelings about this next phase of our lives. Our marriage had always been 50-50 in just about every way, splitting almost all responsibilities down the middle. This wasn’t really a conscious choice; rather, it just kind of evolved that way. While I was aware of this balance, my wife expected this balance. I had naively assumed that picking up child and household duties would more than cover for her spending more time than me at the office. Apparently I was wrong. But the next part is what really shocked me. She was so jealous of my new schedule that, not only did she resent it, she felt that if anyone in this relationship should be enjoying a semi-retired lifestyle, it should be her! Her: I’m not sure why this really “shocked” my husband. I was the one who always wanted to be a Mom (ask him if he even wanted children before I forced the issue!). I was the one who felt like medicine is merely a paycheck, not a “calling.” So of course I was bitter that he was the one to cut his hours, not me! Some of the hostility was also fueled by times when I came home from a long day of work, saw the two of them looking all happy and relaxed, and then realizing after dinner that I still had to help with my daughter’s homework. Hey, if you’re going to cut your hours at work, then at least compensate by taking care of home-life! (To be fair, he has been doing a better job of this since we had our talk.) Him: It pains me to say that, for the first time, I felt like a better person than my wife (if you knew her, you’d probably assume that she’s nicer and more evolved than I – it’s ok, everyone else does). If our situations were reversed and she had cut back at work, I knew that I would be unconditionally happy for her. After discussing this with a couple of my male friends, I was convinced that on the scale of rightness, I scored at least 99%. Then I discussed this with a couple of my female friends (both married doctors) and I gained some perspective. While acknowledging that it’s not totally rational, my female friends counseled me that they don’t really want to feel like they’re doing the lion’s share of “bringing home the bacon.” Without wading too deep into old gender-role stereotypes, they could see how my wife wanted to feel taken care of by her man, in a more traditional sense. Her: This is true. When both of us worked full-time, I was making 25-30% more, which never really bothered me. But then he cut his hours, and that number went up another 5-10%. While his current salary is nothing to sneeze at, I view it as a big hit to our income. Him: I still thought this was a little crazy – despite understanding my wife a bit better – given the facts. One: the hit to my income was small in the grand scheme of things, as my hours weren’t cut as much as I had hoped. Two: we had just received a bolus of cash that had advanced our timeline to early retirement by several years. Three: we had previously discussed her cutting back at work and she had declined. Number three led to further emotionally charged discussions, in which she now stated that the only way she could manage her jealousy was to finally cut back her schedule, so we’d be “even.” I urged her to do so, as it was clear that the health of our relationship required it. Plus, we were on track to practically retire at-will, regardless of whether her salary was 10%, 20%, or even 50% less. Well, time has passed and she hasn’t made any changes to her schedule. She seems to have accepted our current situation for what it is, and she’s now batting around the idea of retiring at the end of her contract with our new parent company, in two years. But, if she’s still not that burned out, she may continue working, full or part time. Why the change of heart? Various reasons. She’s not that burned out. It’s logistically difficult to cut back in her department. Fear of “getting off the train” and not being able to get back on, should circumstances require it. Wanting to feel like she pushed hard to the end so she can feel good about quitting cold turkey while I continue to work. Anyway, her jealousy is currently manageable and the marriage is solid. Her: One more reason: fear of not having enough money in retirement, despite what he tells me. #5: Working Less Makes me a Better Person (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push(); Working less has made me a more engaged physician, a better father/husband, and a more introspective person. Jeff left an inspirational comment on my original guest post that turned out to be unbelievably prescient, as it sums up almost exactly what’s happened in my life: “…let’s focus on the beauty of working part time…You get to live a better lifestyle TODAY…Work 3 days a week, or shorter hours, or see less patients. Take less call. Think of what you could do with that time! …Whatever you want!!! You’d have time to make dinner, maybe not every night but much more than you do now. Likely you would find work to be less offensive and perhaps you rediscover that enjoyable, rewarding aspect again…life is too tragically short to be overly conservative. Don’t keep putting off your happiness just so you can “guarantee” you’ll have enough in retirement. Lots of adjustments can be made along the way if needed. Start to enjoy the freedoms you’ve definitely earned TODAY!” I touched on some of this earlier, but it goes deeper than just having more time at the end of the day. The downstream effects on my psyche from having this time have been myriad. I am happier to sit and chat with my patients, as I no longer feel like I have to ration my listening-energy to make it last all day. My fellow introverts know what I’m talking about – prolonged interpersonal engagement saps us of all available energy and empathy. Things that used to rile me up at work still bother me, but usually not to the same extent. I wouldn’t exactly say that I’m zen about all the nonsense in my organization, but I’m learning how to approach it more constructively. One thing about this new life that has surprised me is my focus on self-improvement. Many years ago, before I had a real job and a family, I remember being philosophical and way more introspective. For at least the last decade, I’ve just been busy. I’ve gotten really, really good at checking stuff off my to-do list. Unfortunately, the stuff that made it to my list was just what had to get done for daily life. The rest of me has been on autopilot for a long time. What would happen if you did almost no routine maintenance on your car for ten years? Maybe a Toyota would still seem to be running pretty well, but once you looked under the hood, you’d find some parts were about to break. I’m that Toyota. How I’ve gone about working on myself and changing the things I don’t like would take at least one more blog post, and I’m not sure anyone but me would be interested. Suffice it to say that, if you’re looking for personal improvement inspiration, I highly recommend subscribing to and combing through the archives of Tim Ferriss’ podcast and listening to whatever catches your eye. The collective wisdom there is brain-expanding and cannot be overstated. If you’re like my wife, however, and you just can’t sit through a 2-hour interview for a mere few brilliant nuggets, pick up a copy of his latest book, Tools of Titans, which is a high-yield compilation of all the tactics, routines, and habits of world-class performers. #6 Controlling Lifestyle Inflation Requires Constant Vigilance Sure, we have enough assets to retire whenever we’re ready. But not if our next ten years of spending follow the trajectory of the last ten, in which we’ve roughly doubled our yearly spend. There have been many great posts about this issue in the financial blogosphere, so I’ll simply share what I’ve found to be useful for reining it in. I now practice gratitude on a regular basis – a simple tool that helps me appreciate everything in my life. It also helps me couch things in terms of “I get to do this,” as opposed to “I have to do this.” I know it may sound like mental jiu-jitsu, but it does help shift perspective. The corollary to this is learning to want what you already have. When evaluating a potential purchase or other outlay of money, if I find myself saying, “We can afford it,” I pause and reflect. As WCI likes to say, high-income physicians can have anything they want, but not everything they want. I was shopping for a new jacket the other day and found two choices at the mall: a leather one for $250 ($500 before my 50% off Banana Republic coupon) or a faux-leather one for less than half that. They looked equally nice, and I’m not enough of a leather connoisseur to feel the difference. Call me a troglodyte, but I bought the fake one. #7 Other Things I Can Do With My Life (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push(); Having more time has allowed me to think about other things I can do with my life. Until I came up for air, I hadn’t thought much about what I’d do with the luxury of time. Now I’m working on launching a blog (in a genre unrelated to personal finance) of all things. If it turns into something substantial, I’ll monetize it. The point is, I never would have had the inspiration nor bandwidth prior to creating more time in my schedule. I have always enjoyed teaching, but having residents rotate through my private practice is challenging because productivity is valued over education. I’ve hosted them anyway, but it’s exhausting to give them a great experience while still churning through patients and closing charts. With a shorter day, I handle it much better, which has reinvigorated my love of teaching. In early retirement, I can see myself volunteering to staff the fellows’ clinic at our local academic institution. I took on a couple of malpractice cases as an expert witness this year and learned that I have an aptitude for it. I enjoyed working with the attorneys and teaching them, simultaneously feeling good about aiding in the defense of doctors who didn’t deserve to be sued. Oh, and the money was awesome. If I can leave you with one message, it is: don’t keep waiting for tomorrow to change your life – do it now. What do you think? Have you considered working part-time? What thoughts have you had about life change as you approach financial independence? 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[mild-lunacy]

Series 4 and The John Problem

Well, here we are. I normally write stuff after seeing some input from the fandom, as that really helps me. But... I’m kinda afraid to look around, and I’m not sure how long to wait for the characterization close readings or even if they’ll ever come, at this point. Since the dominant mood isn’t positive, I don’t want to just see stuff to the effect of ‘John was OOC’ or ‘this wasn’t the real-world John’, one way or the other. Simply seeing stuff to the effect of ‘this is the real John and nothing surprising or interesting happened’ is also a nonstarter. So let’s proceed firstly with the assumption that this is, in fact, the real John, and also that he is IC until rigorously proven otherwise (as in part of a formal argument). Secondly, with the assumption that we’ve seen some developments and/or meaningful events in John’s characterization and it’s not simply static.

If anyone has links or reading suggestions for an existing neutral S4 John reading, I’d be grateful. By reading I mean a close reading: canon-based but Johnlock-friendly, and otherwise constructively analytical (rather than being purely speculative, Johnlock code-related, a critique or just a response to a critique). Basically, I’m both trained and naturally predisposed to write most of my close readings with the help of lots of other people’s papers. Ideally, anyway haha. 

Essentially, if someone wants to jump in and expand on this post or point to a relevant direction others have gone, please do. Anyway, enough disclaimers. Onwards into the breach, then. 

Previously, we had thought that John was going to have to have an arc that was resolved in Series 4, in part because of the arc framework we had of the whole narrative, and in part because Sherlock changed in Series 3 and John kinda regressed, at least in his relationship to Sherlock. Specifically, we expected some movement, and ideally a resolution or major development of John’s sexuality. So, all that... did not really happen. If it did, it did not happen the way we expected. In my opinion, before casting judgment, this means one has to reevaluate one’s analysis to some degree, and this is my attempt at a start of that process.

My initial impressions of the first two episodes were that John’s response to Mary’s death was closer to rage than grief. I still think comparing it to Reichenbach too closely (let alone with the implication that Mary’s death had more of an impact, since he didn’t hallucinate Sherlock as far as we know) seems counterproductive. Further, I thought that this was John’s belief that Sherlock’s superhuman coming to bite him and Sherlock on the ass,  big-time. It seems completely irrational because it was completely irrational, as he implicitly acknowledged by telling Sherlock Mary’s death wasn’t his fault in TLD. In any case, clearly John always thinks Sherlock can ‘solve it’ and/or is the master of any situation, or at least that’s the attitude he normally develops under stress. See: TSoT and his demand that Sherlock just ‘solve it’. And, of course, John’s guilt over his behavior toward Mary is no minor factor.

John was also kinda drifting further away from Sherlock in TST, which is what I thought when Sherlock chose Mary as the better or more useful partner early on in the episode. Sure, that’s correct on the merits, but it’s not suggesting any sort of understanding or valuing of their dynamic as partners and/or John’s value (to John, anyway). At no point in TST does Sherlock directly demonstrate to John he values and trusts him, even though you could argue everything he does is for John. This is a continuation of the issue he had in HLV (where he continued to help Mary because of John, or even instead of John). So John clearly felt pretty alone and even isolated.  

As I said, I liked how subtly the infidelity and John’s continuing unhappy life with Mary was handled: it continued the tendencies we saw in HLV and developed them by having John have the emotional affair with Eurus (yikes!), though it’s unclear how much of that was manipulated. Of course, he still chose to follow up, so clearly it’s a sign that John continued to feel trapped. The ‘Antichrist Rosie’ conversation in The Six Thatchers did show a certain ease and some bantery dynamic with Mary, but the intimacy was a sham, since he just started texting and flirting with someone else right after. However, we do see that the surface HLV narrative was more or less intact. There was no ‘secret plan’ to deceive Mary, and John really did his best to follow through on Sherlock’s insistence that he forgive Mary. (This doesn’t mean that there’s no subtext, by the way, just that they don’t make a habit of returning to and/or redoing the plot of previous episodes.) As of the beginning of TST, it seems that John was, just barely, coping with his new role as a husband and father, but not very well. However, he blames himself and (by extension) Sherlock, rather than Mary or perhaps the situation he’s (partly manipulated to be) in.

Anyway, as I’ve said, given that John believes that it’s his and particularly Sherlock’s fault for allowing Mary to die, his complete (semi-psychotic?) mental break in TLD makes sense. We never do get an explanation, so we’re left with John’s Mary hallucination being apparently unrelated to the other hallucinations and/or unusual mental phenomena in TLD. I have to run with the assumption that it’s more or less a contrast or mirror plotline than something causally related to Eurus or Culverton Smith. Since there’s no ‘plot thing’ to mitigate this as I had initially supposed, it’s just that John is struggling with seeing himself (and Sherlock) as monstrous. There’s definitely some projection going on, if you go by the last conversation in TLD, where John talks of Mary idealizing him. Anyway, he definitely has Sherlock’s Otherness on his mind (Sherlock as a ‘monster’ tying in with the ‘superhuman’ thing). Sherlock’s a monster, but his Mary avatar says it’s ‘our’ monster (in other words, John’s initially repressing the idea that Sherlock’s his monster).

My thought process was that clearly John doesn’t think he’s Mary’s John (as he tells Sherlock), but he’s also not Sherlock’s John. And we see that quite clearly: he acts quite differently and/or ‘OOC’. He’s not acting like our John, because he doesn’t see himself that way. John’s having a significant identity crisis as well as a crisis of faith in TLD, essentially. Faith in himself as well as faith in Sherlock, as these two seem to be connected. We know that Sherlock knows him-- he predicted John’s behavior 2 weeks out! he demonstrably knows him much better than Mary-- but then, from John’s pov, Sherlock’s just that good. He could do that with anyone. Yes, it’s surprising, but it’s not really proof he’s known by Sherlock to John. Certainly, it doesn’t go both ways at that point.

As I said in my review of TFP, S4 has John moving toward his own version of Sherlock’s claim that he’s ‘not a saint, not a hero’ in HLV. Obviously, John’s not even pretending to be a ‘high-functioning sociopath’, which is probably (in part) why people would say this is somehow character assassination and/or OOC for John. However, in TLD, John was focusing on Mary’s idealization of him, much like the sociopath persona is Sherlock’s idealization of himself, more or less. These personas (both of Sherlock and of himself) were haunting him-- sort of literally, given Mary’s hallucination. John being haunted is perhaps a better description of what was going on than John having a ‘semi-psychotic break’, since there were no other symptoms of an altered mental state except for being a lot more stressed (and angry-- at Sherlock, at himself). You can take ‘haunted’ as a metaphor that is being made literal: John is haunted by unresolved issues, more than he ever had been. We’ve heard before that he’s ‘haunted’ by the war (because he misses it). And now he’s literally haunted by all the things he can’t accept about himself, about Mary and about Sherlock, which helps explain why Mary tends to say stuff about Sherlock that John denies or won’t admit. One benefit of this reading is that the Mary hallucination isn’t automatically a sign John cared more in some absolute sense about Mary’s death than he had about Sherlock’s. The fact is, John simply-- literally!-- cannot be with Sherlock anymore as long as he has these mental blocks and idealizations in place.

So anyway, apparently Mary predicted John’s mental state after her death, and told Sherlock to ‘go to hell’ so that John could rescue him. In retrospect, her claim in HLV that John can’t know that she’s lied because that would “break” him and she’d “lose him forever” wasn’t simply self-serving bullshit as many people have thought. In other words, it always pays to pay attention to surface narrative, or it bites you on the ass. It was still primarily selfish, but Mary’s power over John (born of manipulation as it may be) is real. Regardless, it’s clear that Mary’s solution for John’s predictable issues was a further sign of her not understanding John. I was struggling with this initially-- isn’t it a given that they rescue each other, save each other, as Sherlock said in his wedding speech in TSoT? If the show is making us question this, surely something is wrong, and we cannot take the ep at face value. But no, we’re supposed to question this, I think, at least insofar as assuming John’s always ‘the hero’ is also more idealizing John, which John says outright that Mary’s always done. So, Mary’s theory that John needs to save Sherlock was born of that idealization, even though (of course) in the end John did rush to save Sherlock in the hospital.

Of course, this brings us to the extremity of John’s violence in the morgue, which people have apparently flagged as OOC. Initially, as in my post on Johnlock in S4, this hadn’t really struck me as starkly as it did others. My John has never been super-fluffy, and as I said, I agree with @thecutteralicia’s point that this is consistent with John’s adrenaline-driven desire to keep hitting Sherlock after the one time in ASiB (and in TLD, he’s obviously under a lot more stress, as well). For many people, it seems that John’s physical assault is a dealbreaker for Johnlock (given that no plot-based or other extenuating circumstances appear). That’s fine: that’s always the viewer’s prerogative. For me, it’s enough that I see the characterization as being consistent and a believable progression from past behavior, and I believe this fits that criteria. 

It may seem like more of a (temporary) regression, of course. This hasn’t been unusual so far in the show-- in fact, we’ve had multiple regressions coupled with any progress for the characters (THoB regressing after ASiB, HLV regressing after TSoT, etc). However, here we come back to the issue of John’s arc (or the lack thereof). In retrospect, I agree with @birdymary that Series 4 confirms that BBC Sherlock has primarily been concerned with an arc for Sherlock Holmes, showing his progression from ‘great man’ in ASiP to a ‘good man’ in TFP, as proclaimed by Lestrade, and it should be judged on those merits. Sherlock’s journey to forgiveness has often been seen as having gone too far (as in, he forgives too much, is too self-sacrificing, has too much of a ’heart’, even), but I think those concerns all ignore the whole point (and existence) of the humanization arc in the first place. John, on the other hand, does not have an arc so much as character development. That is, his characterization involves periods of growth and regression, but it is not formally structured as an arc. The Johnlock arc does still exist even in S4, in my opinion, and it remains tied to John-- but it is an indirect thing, largely tied to the subtext and interstitial places in the narrative. John’s growth and his relationship to and with Sherlock still drives the story but isn’t the primary focus. Further, in my current analysis, that joint growth in John’s characterization and in Johnlock culminates in The Lying Detective, rather than the final episode of Series 4. I believe this fits in with the expected point for the climax as suggested by the arc meta narrative, but I’m not sure and would appreciate further input on this point. 

To reiterate, the lack of an explicit arc for John is due to the primary focus being on Sherlock’s growth, and his adventures with John as his partner, as Mary’s narration and/or the framing monologue at the end of TFP tells us. John’s own development-- being tied to the subtext-- is thus also shown indirectly.

Initially, my main problem with TLD was that the purpose of John and Sherlock’s conversation at the end was unclear to me. It seemed vaguely like hetero-baiting. After all, John pushes Sherlock to pursue a romance (with Irene) and insists on its importance. John’s role in the show has often been to be the voice in support of human (including romantic) feeling, which is one reason for the tie between John and Johnlock in the narrative. Anyway, my conclusion so far has been suggested by Ivy’s reading of the gap between TLD and TFP: that Moffat and Gatiss intended the viewers to fill in the blanks, and for the act of understanding the narrative to be highly collaborative. Thus, I’ve said in my Johnlock-focused meta that I feel that the TLD conversation was meant to be suggestive of the  kind of subjects John and Sherlock covered, and the kind of emotional release and resolution that’s suggested by John finally crying, Sherlock finally hugging him, and so on. John admitted, painfully, that he wasn’t perfect, and he was haunted by Mary’s idealization and her putting him on a pedestal. By his final acquiescence to Sherlock’s gentle touch, John accepted that both he and Sherlock were only human, and he saw that Sherlock accepted that as well: “it is what it is”. In the end, that was all that John needed to start to resolve the main issue he was struggling with.

My initial read of the last scene of TLD was that John was ‘still breaking’ and needed to be saved; I presumed that this would somehow be the focus of The Final Problem. Instead, TFP resolved Sherlock’s arc, with both John and Johnlock being resolved in TLD. Basically, I’m leaning toward the idea that John was firmly on the road to healing both himself and his relationship to Sherlock as of their final conversation in TLD.

I agree with @ivyblossom‘s interpretation in that they’ve clearly turned a corner in TLD (as indirectly evidenced by TFP), mostly due to John’s development. That is, yeah, it doesn’t have to be seen as a corner turned in a romantic direction, but there are multiple cues in The Final Problem that it has been. I find John’s calm response to Sherlock’s calling him ‘family’ and Mary saying they ‘could become’ something more than they are, as well as his unusual use of casual touch at Sherrinford to be particularly telling. One can certainly argue about whether this is ‘enough’ or good representation, as I’ve said, but that’s beside the point when evaluating the best reading that would fit and explain all the facts, as presented in the narrative. Basically, what I’m saying is that a newly romantic relationship between John and Sherlock does best fit and explain all the facts, particularly what Ivy called the ‘rifle on the wall’ presented by Sherlock and John explicitly being stated as needing a romantic connection at the end of TLD. The rest of it is left for the viewer to figure out, but I believe it’s mainly heteronormativity preventing that. Otherwise, that’s the main obstacle to John and Sherlock’s relationship (implicitly) resolved.

As I said to start with, it is not within the scope of this meta to critique the way that all this was portrayed and accomplished, so much as to outline my reading of John’s characterization and his progression in Series 4. It’s indisputable that a critique can always be made, and further, that it certainly already has been and will be made by enough people that I need not weigh in on the subject. I’m left with an increased appreciation and an ongoing interest in the subtlety and the nuanced nature of John’s growth in Series 4. I would be thrilled to see fandom explore this further, but I am also satisfied with the canon as it stands.

#sherlock meta #john watson things #series 4 #the final problem #the lying detective #sherlock spoilers #pointless rambles #characterization #the six thatchers #sherlock's arc

[technomanish]

The Galaxy Fold has been probably the most polarizing product I can recall having reviewed. Everybody who noticed it wished to play with the long-promised smartphone paradigm shift. The outcomes, then again, had been much more blended.

If nothing else, the Fold has a remarkably excessive Q-Score. Every one who noticed me utilizing the product had not less than a obscure thought of what it was all about. I actually can’t keep in mind the final time I’ve had that response with a non-iPhone system. That’s nice from model perspective. It means lots of people are curious and doubtlessly open to the notion that the Samsung Galaxy Fold is the long run.

In fact, it additionally means there are lots of people trying on if you happen to fail.

In some methods, this previous week with the Samsung Galaxy Fold has been a particularly public beta. A handful of samples got out to reviewers. Most labored effective (mine included), however not less than three failed. It’s what we within the business name a “PR nightmare.” Or not less than it might be for many firms.

Samsung’s weathered bigger storms — most notably with the Galaxy Note 7 a number of years again. In fact, that system made it a lot additional alongside, in the end leading to two large-scale remembers. The character of the 2 points was additionally vastly completely different. A malfunctioning display doesn’t put the person at bodily threat like an exploding battery. The optics on this stuff don’t get a lot worse than having your smartphone banned from planes.

As of this writing, the Fold remains to be set to go on sale, most probably this yr. To be completely frank, the April 26 launch date appeared overly optimistic effectively earlier than the primary studies of malfunctioning models. It’s by no means an incredible signal when a tool is introduced in February and is just made obtainable for evaluation a number of weeks forward of launch. It’s sort of like when a studio doesn’t let reviewers watch a movie earlier than launch. It doesn’t essentially imply it’s unhealthy, but it surely’s one thing to regulate.

That’s the factor. The Galaxy Fold is the sort of system you need badly to succeed. You need it to be nice and also you need Samsung to promote a billion as a result of it’s a genuinely thrilling product after a decade of telephones that look principally the identical. There’s additionally the truth that Samsung has primarily been hyping this factor for eight years, because it debuted a versatile show at CES 2011.

Regardless of that, nonetheless, the house stretch feels rushed. Samsung little question noticed the writing on the wall, as firms like Huawei readied their very own foldable. And whereas Royole beat the fold to market, Samsung nonetheless had an excellent shot on the declare of first commercially viable foldable available on the market, with a decade of Galaxy units beneath its belt and hand-in-hand work with the Google workforce to create an Android UX that is smart on a pair of very completely different screens.

[Source: iFixit]

However this iFixit teardown speaks volumes. “Alarmingly” isn’t the sort of phrase you need/count on to listen to about an organization like Samsung, however there it’s, adopted straight by “fragile” — itself repeated 5 occasions over the course of the write-up. iFixit’s findings match up fairly carefully with Samsung’s personal studies:

A fragile show means knocking it the flawed method may end up in catastrophe.

A spot within the hinges permits dust and different particles to wedge themselves between the folding mechanism and display.

Don’t peel off the protecting layer. I do know it seems to be like you must, however that is most likely the simplest option to wreck your $2,000 cellphone that doesn’t contain a firearm or blender.

What makes all of this doubly unlucky is that Samsung has about as a lot expertise as anybody making a rugged cellphone that works. I really feel assured that the corporate will do exactly that in future generations, however except the corporate can come again with definitive proof that it’s overhauled the product forward of launch, this can be a tough product to suggest.

Samsung knew the first-gen Galaxy Fold can be a tough promote, in fact. The corporate was fairly clear about the truth that the experimental kind issue, coupled with the $1,980 price ticket, meant the system will solely attraction to a small phase of early adopters.

Even so, the corporate managed to promote out of preorders — although it didn’t say how massive that preliminary run was. Nor are we certain what number of customers have canceled within the wake of this previous week’s occasions. Actually nobody would blame them for doing so at this level.

However whereas the apocalyptic shit-posters amongst us will declare the loss of life of the foldable earlier than it was ever actually born, no matter doesn’t kill Samsung has solely made it stronger. And this misfire may in the end try this for each the corporate and the class, courtesy of its casual beta testing.

Rewind a mere week or so in the past (severely, it’s solely been that lengthy), after we lastly obtained our palms on the Galaxy Fold. I used to be impressed. And I actually wasn’t alone. Admittedly, there’s a little bit of a glow that first time you see a tool that’s seemingly been teased without end. The truth that it exists seems like a sort of victory in and of itself. However the Fold does an admirable job marrying Samsung’s {hardware} experience with a brand new kind issue. And extra importantly, it’s actual and works as marketed — effectively, principally, not less than.

The reality is, I’ve principally loved my time with the Galaxy Fold. And certainly, it’s been enjoyable chronicling it on a (almost) every day foundation. There are some issues the shape issue is nice for — like taking a look at Google Maps or propping it as much as watch YouTube movies on the elliptical machine on the gymnasium. There are others when the cumbersome kind issue left me wanting to return to my common previous smartphone — however these trade-offs are to be anticipated.

I each just like the Fold’s design and perceive the criticism. Samsung’s finished a superb job sustaining the Galaxy line’s iconic design language. The foldable seems to be proper at residence alongside the S and Note. That mentioned, the rounded backing provides some bulk to the product. And whereas open, the system is thinner than an iPhone, when folded, it’s greater than double the thickness, owing to a niche between the shows. It’s fairly skinny on this mode, nonetheless, so it ought to slip properly into all however the tightest pants pockets.

In observe, the folding mechanism could be probably the most spectacular a part of the product. The within options a number of interlocking gears that permit the product to open and shut with ease and let customers work together with the system at numerous states of unfold. I discovered myself utilizing the system with it open at a 90-degree angle fairly a bit, resting in my hand like an open ebook. The Fold incorporates a pair of magnets on its edges, which allow you to shut it with a satisfying snap. It’s weirdly therapeutic.

Actually, the most important strike towards the system from a purely aesthetic standpoint is that it’s not the Mate X. Introduced by Huawei a number of days after the Fold’s massive unveil, the system takes a decidedly extra minimalist strategy to the class. It’s a sublime design that options much less system and extra display, and, actually, the sort of factor I don’t assume most of us anticipated till not less than the second-generation product.

The gulf between the 2 units is very obvious with regards to the entrance display. The entrance of the display is round two-fifths bezel, leaving room for a 4.6-inch show with a clumsy side ratio. The Mate X, in the meantime, incorporates a 6.6-inch front-facing AND 6.4-inch rear-facing show (to not point out the bigger eight-inch inner show to the Fold’s 7.3).

There’s motive to suggest the Fold over the Mate X, as effectively. I can’t converse to the distinction in person expertise, having solely briefly interacted with the Huawei, however the value level is a biggie. The Mate X begins at an much more absurd $2,600, thanks partially to the truth that it would solely be obtainable in a 5G model, including one other layer of area of interest.

That value, thoughts you, is transformed from euros, as a result of 1) The product was introduced at MWC in Barcelona and 2) U.S. availability is prone to be a nonstarter once more, as the corporate continues to wrestle with U.S. regulators.

In fact, the Fold’s U.S. availability can also be in limbo in the meanwhile, albeit for very completely different causes.

I in the end spent little time interacting with the entrance display. It’s good for checking notifications and the like, however making an attempt to sort on that skinny display is near unattainable, with shades of the brand new Palm system, which implements its personal shortcuts to get round these shortcomings. The within, in the meantime, takes a butterfly keyboard strategy, so you’ll be able to sort with each thumbs whereas holding it open like a ebook.

There’s additionally the problem of app optimization. Loads of this may be chalked as much as an early model of a first-gen system. However as with each new system, the equation of how a lot developer time to speculate is essentially depending on product adoption. If the Fold and future Fold’s aren’t a hit, builders are going to be far much less inclined to speculate the hours.

That is most painfully apparent with regards to App Continuity, one of many system’s major promoting factors from a software program perspective. When working as marketed, it makes a compelling case for the twin screens. Open one thing on the entrance and broaden your canvas by unfolding the system. Google is among the many firms that labored straight with Samsung to optimize apps this fashion, and it’s significantly useful with Maps. I used it a good quantity on my journey final week to Berkeley (shout out to the effective folks at Pegasus Books on Shattuck).

When an app isn’t optimized, Samsung compels you to restart it, or else you get a nasty case of letterbox bars that retain the side ratio of the entrance display. Continuity isn’t designed to work the opposite method, both — opening one thing on the big display after which transferring to the entrance. That’s a bit trickier, as shutting the cellphone is designed to supply a sort of finality to that session, like hitting the facility button to place the system to sleep.

I get that, and like many different items right here, it is going to be attention-grabbing to see how folks put it to use. Apart from the apparent {hardware} issues, a lot of the work on the second-generation system will focus on learnings from how customers work together with this mannequin. I do know I stunned myself after I ended up utilizing the 7.3-inch display to snap photographs. It felt foolish — like these individuals who carry iPads to {photograph} occasions. However it’s in the end a significantly better viewfinder than that measly 4.6-incher.

That’s actually simply the tip of the iceberg for the within display, in fact. The scale, which is someplace between phablet and mini pill, supplies ample actual property that may nonetheless be held in a single hand. It’s an incredible measurement for brief movies. I’ve watched loads of YouTube on this factor, although the audio system (a small sequence of holes on the higher and decrease edges) go away quite a bit to be desired.

And the seam. I discovered myself uttering the phrase “it may very well be worse” quite a bit. Like a lot of the final aesthetic (together with the odd green-gold shade of my Fold’s casing), it’s lighting-dependent. There are many occasions while you don’t see all of it, and different when the glare hits it and makes it seem like a line proper down the middle.

I noticed after snapping a few photographs that it’s significantly obvious in lots of photographs. That most likely provides a misunderstanding of its prominence. It sucks that there’s one in any respect, but it surely’s not a shock, given the character of the design. You principally don’t discover it, till your finger swipes throughout it. And even then it’s delicate and completely not a dealbreaker, in contrast to, say, the large hole that made the ZTE Axon M seem like two telephones pasted collectively.

I like the power to face the system up by having it open at a 90-degree angle, so I can watch movies whereas brushing my enamel. However this orientation blocks the underside audio system, hampering the already iffy sound. Fortunately, your $1,980 will get you a pair of the wonderful Galaxy Buds in field. It’s laborious to think about Apple bundling AirPods with the subsequent iPhone, however I suppose stranger issues have occurred, proper?

Multi-Energetic Window is the opposite key software program piece. It’s one thing that has been obtainable on different Samsung units and positively is smart right here. Open an app, swipe left from the precise facet of the display and a tray will open. From there, you’ll be able to speak in confidence to three apps on the show. As soon as open, the home windows characteristic a small tab on the prime that allows you to rearrange them.

It’s useful. I used it probably the most throughout these occasions I had a video taking part in on an train machine, so I didn’t have to shut out of all the things to examine emails and Twitter. I’m a gymnasium multi-tasker. I’m sorry, it’s simply who I’m now.

It labored fairly effectively on the entire, courtesy of sturdy internals, together with 12GB of RAM and a Snapdragon 855. The first problem I bumped into was how among the apps maintained that half-screen format after I closed out and reopened. I’m certain some folks will want that, and I’m actually unsure what the best resolution is there.

The Fold’s additionally obtained a beefy battery on board. Like Huawei’s, it’s break up in two — one on both facet of the fold. They work out to a beefy 4,380 mAh. That’s simply barely lower than Huawei’s 4,500, however once more, the Mate X is 5G by default — which suggests it’s going to burn by mAhs at a sooner fee.

In the end, the Fold’s best power is Samsung itself. I perceive why you most likely simply did a double take there within the wake of the corporate’s newest {hardware} scandal, however the reality is that the corporate is aware of tips on how to construct telephones. The Fold was very a lot constructed atop the inspiration of the profitable Galaxy line, even whereas it presents a curious little fork within the household tree.

Which means a strong and well-thought-out person expertise exterior of the entire fold factor.

That record consists of nice cameras with glorious software program options and intelligent methods like the brand new Wi-fi PowerShare, which helps you to fold up the cellphone and cost up these Galaxy Buds or one other cellphone whereas it’s plugged in. For higher or worse, it additionally consists of Bixby. Our mannequin was a European model that didn’t have the complete model, however I believe I’ve made my ideas on the sensible assistant fairly well-known during the last couple of years.

The devoted Bixby button could be very a lot right here. And sure, I very a lot by chance pressed it an entire bunch. The headphone jack, then again, is conspicuously absent, which is little question a giant driver behind the choice to incorporate Galaxy Buds. The Fold is an anomaly in a lot of methods, but it surely’s laborious to shake the sensation that this may lastly signify the start of the top for the port on Samsung’s premium units.

Additionally absent is the S Pen. The stylus started life on the Note line and has since branched out to different Samsung units. I think the corporate would have had a tricky time squeezing in house for it alongside the twin batteries, and possibly it’s saving one thing for future generations, however this does really feel like the best display measurement for that accent.

I’m parting methods with the Fold this week, per Samsung’s directions. Not like different merchandise, giving it up gained’t really feel that robust. There wasn’t some extent prior to now week when the Fold didn’t really feel like overkill. There have been, nonetheless, occasions when my iPhone XS display felt downright tiny after switching again.

In some ways, the foldable cellphone nonetheless seems like the long run, and the Fold seems like a cease alongside the way in which. There are loads of first-gen points that needs to be/ought to have been hammered out earlier than mass producing this system. That mentioned, there are particular points that may solely actually be discovered in real-world testing. Take the truth that Samsung subjected the system to 200,000 mechanical open and closes. That’s quite a bit, and doubtless greater than the lifetime of nearly any of those units, however folks don’t open and shut like machines. And with regards to the display, effectively, a bit of dust is certain to get between the gears, each metaphorically and actually.

As I shut this Galaxy Fold a remaining time, it appears protected to say that the system represents a doubtlessly thrilling future for a stagnant smartphone house. However that’s the factor in regards to the future — it’s simply not right here but.

Samsung Galaxy Fold evaluation: future shock The Galaxy Fold has been probably the most polarizing product I can recall having reviewed. Everybody who noticed it wished to play with the long-promised smartphone paradigm shift.

[petrichorate]

The Crossroads of Should and Must: Thoughts

The Crossroads of Should and Must (Elle Luna)

This book came to me at exactly the right time. Or maybe any time would have been the right time—because I feel like this crossroads of Should and Must has been following me for years, and will continue to pester me as long as I avoid making a choice. Elle Luna, the author, was a designer herself, and I guess I got to reading this book both through divine movement and through a desperate searching for what I want my life to become.

My next step is to dig a little deeper into my Must, so that I can really define what it is. I know that seeing other artists launch their creative projects makes me come alive. I care about education, I care about representation, and I care about expressing our full range of emotions. How will all of these tie together, and integrate with my professional life?

It was a bit difficult to format these excerpts because the book is part painting and part text, but here’s an attempt to capture some of my favorite quotes:

“All too often, we feel that we are not living the fullness of our lives because we are not expressing the fullness of our gifts.”

“Bill Moyers: Do you ever have the sense of... being helped by hidden hands? Joseph Campbell: All the time. It is miraculous. I even have a superstition that has grown on me as a result of invisible hands coming all the time—namely, that if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a track that has been there all the while, waiting for you. And the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be. - Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth”

“There are two paths in life: Should and Must. We arrive at this crossroads over and over again. And every day, we get to choose. Should is how other people want us to live our lives.  It’s all of the expectations that others layer upon us. Sometimes, Shoulds are small, seemingly innocuous, and easily accommodated. ‘You should listen to that song,’ for example. At other times, Shoulds are highly influential systems of thought that pressure and, at their most destructive, coerce us to live our lives differently. When we choose Should, we’re choosing to live our life for someone or something other than ourselves. The journey to Should can be smooth, the rewards can seem clear, and the options are often plentiful. Must is different. Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s that which calls to us most deeply. It’s our convictions, our passions, our deepest held urges and desires—unavoidable, undeniable, and inexplicable. Unlike Should, Must doesn’t accept compromises. Must is when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own—and this allows us to cultivate our full potential as individuals. To choose Must is to say yes to hard work and constant effort, to say yes to a journey without a road map or guarantees, and in so doing, to say yes to what Joseph Campbell called ‘the experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonance within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.’  Choosing Must is the greatest thing we can do with our lives.”

“‘What am I in the eyes of most people—a nonentity, an eccentric, or an unpleasant person—somebody who has no position in society and will never have; in short, the lowest of the low. All right, then—even if that were absolutely true, then I should like to show by my work what such an eccentric, such a nobody, has in his heart.’ - Vincent van Gogh”

“Removing Should is hard and time-consuming. Because in order to remove it, we must first understand it, get to know it—intimately. We need to know each Should’s origins, how it got there, and when we first began to integrate it into our decision-making. Look for recurring patterns, and choices—both little and big—that are affected. How often do we place blame on the person, job, or situation when the real problem, the real pain, is within us? And we leave and walk away, angry, frustrated, and sad, unconsciously carrying the same Shoulds into a new context—the next relationship, the next job, the next friendship—hoping for different results. But so long as we leave Should unexamined, the pattern repeats. And while running from Should certainly sounds easier and more pleasant, we must get to know Should if we want to release its invisible grip from our everyday decision-making. If you’re ready to get to know your Shoulds, you can. Here’s one way. Grab a piece of paper, and make a list of the Shoulds you hold on to by completing the sentences from the previous page. You can add more and repeat them if you want. Listen to what comes up first and write it down without thinking too much. Even if it doesn’t make sense right now, it contains a grain of truth worth capturing.  Look at your list one by one, and ask the following three questions: Where did you come from? Are you true for me? Do I want to keep holding on to you? List of sentences:  You should never ___. You should always ___. You should know better than to ___. You should not ___.”

“‘If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path,’ Joseph Campbell said. ‘Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.’”

“The very notion of having a calling—that you must have one—can be a nonstarter. It feels overwhelming. How do I find it? Daunting. What if it changes over time? Oppressive, even. Does everybody have one? Thinking that your Must will appear, fully formed, is like believing you can write a book by wishing and thinking. But doing one small thing, daily—pick up the pen, write a paragraph, make a list of words—that is how your Must will appear.”

“Look within. Must is always with you, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. Must is you. Sometimes, Must can feel really far away, but it will never leave you. You just might not see it yet. If you had one day to pursue some idea, activity, or project, what are three things that come to mind first? Things you do just for fun: ____ ____ ____ Something a friend does that you feel envious about: ____ Things you do when you’re procrastinating: ____ Fantasies: ____ An activity that gives you chills: ____ Sights, smells, sounds, or sensations that give you butterflies in your stomach...”

“When we discover our Must, the brain’s most primal, protective center gets alarmed. The riot gear is called forth. Defense mechanisms go up. Because choosing Must raises very real and scary questions. If I want to choose Must, when do I start? How might I find more time in my day? How long is this going to take? How will I pay rent? Do I have to quit my job? What if I can’t grow within a company that I love? What then? Will I let people down? (but everyone is counting on me.) How might I create a safe space to explore within my existing reality? What if I try to find my calling and I don’t find it? Do my ideas matter?”

“What if doing what I love doesn’t pay? If you want to get by on this planet, you must make money.  If you have obligations or a family or a mortgage, you must make more money. If doing what you love doesn’t pay the bills, then you must find another way to make money. Period. Being able to pay your bills can create the temporal and mental space to find your calling. A job, a career, a calling. The author T. S. Eliot was also a banker. Another writer, Kurt Vonnegut, sold cars. One of the greatest composers of our time, Philip Glass, didn’t earn a living from his calling making music until he was forty-two. Even as his work was premiering at the Met, he worked as a plumber and renewed his taxi license, just in case. You might have a nine-to-five job while you pursue your calling on nights and weekends. Or you might focus on your calling full-time and make a living from it. There are many options to choose from, and there is dignity in all work. Just because you have a job to pay the bills does not make it dirty. And just because you want to find your calling does not mean you need to quit your job. You get to play with these three types of work and decide what’s right for you and your life.”

“So long as you keep your eye on your Must and optimize your time and energy to sustain it as best you can, you can continue to adjust and experiment with how you make money. Maybe you’ll get paid to do what you love. Or maybe you’ll take a job where the hours are clearly defined, the work isn’t too exhausting, and you have energy to pursue your Must on nights and weekends. But what you don’t want is to take a job that was intended to pay the bills and suddenly, you don’t have time to explore your passion, you’re too tired to step into that which you were put on this earth to do. And if, for some awful reason, you forget that money is a game, a make-believe concept that some people invented, you could be led back into the complex layered world of Should. And here, the loss isn’t a financial one. You are the cost. Is it worth it?”

“There are two types of money—Must-Have and Nice-to-Have. Must-Have money is a solid, fixed number that we do not want to risk not having. We will not be able to focus on our Must if we are worried about not being able to eat. This number is often smaller than you might assume. At its most basic, it includes food and shelter. Nice-to-Have money is extra, above-and-beyond money. Too often, we confuse Nice-to-Have money with Must-Have. Just because something is valuable doesn’t mean that we need it. It will always be nicer to have more Nice-to-Have money.”

“Time is the second perceived stumbling block to Must. ‘I’ll make time after things settle down at the office...’ ‘... when the kids are off to school...’ You make time for what you want.”

“We all have a net of obligations and time constraints—both real and imagined. The most effective way to find you Must is to find ten minutes. Because while running away from all of your obligations to focus uninterrupted on your Must for months sounds romantic, the harder, trickier, and more sustainable way is to make shifts every day within your existing reality. To integrate, not obliterate.”

“Must needs solitude. Solitude is how we quiet the voices, the incessant chatter. It’s how we create the necessary calm, empty spaces. Vision needs solitude. Leadership needs solitude. Courage needs solitude. Because when our choices evolve from an internal place of sure-footed, rooted knowing, we become resilient, emboldened, and focused.”

“‘Every morning upon awakening, I experience a supreme pleasure: That of being Salvador Dalí, and I ask myself, wonderstruck, what prodigious thing will he do today, this Salvador Dalí.’  - Salvador Dalí, painter”

“Must is a choice you make every single day. Today. Tomorrow. Again and again. Must. It is constant effort and hard work—and inexplicably life-affirming—to honor who you are, what you believe, and why you are here. To choose Must is the greatest thing you can do with your life because this congruent, rooted way of living shines through everything that you do. Your sacred space and daily efforts will become even more sacred. You will build a beautiful world for your Must. And over time, it will be tempting to stay forever in this magical place that you’ve created, never to return to the everyday world again. But the complete and ultimate journey requires that you return, share your Must, and in so doing, lift the lives of others.”

“After building apps and websites that were available on phones anywhere for anyone, I couldn’t shake the feeling of solitariness that I had about making art. Unlike design, painting didn’t involve user research, and there was no target audience to keep in mind. It was just me, in a room, alone, making art. My concern grew. When does this intersect with the rest of the world? Must feels inherently selfish at first. But when you choose Must, you inspire others to choose it, too. When you follow Must every day, you impact not only what you create for your work, but also who you become in your life. This is how your work and your life become one and the same. When you choose Must, what you create is yourself. It is a body of work. As you change, so too does the work. As you grow, so too does the creation.”

“‘Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.’ - Howard Thurman, philosopher”

“If you believe that you have something special inside of you, and you feel it’s about time you gave it a shot, honor that calling in some small way—today. If you feel a knot in your stomach because you can see the enormous distance between your dreams and your daily reality, do one thing to tighten your grip on what you want—today. If you’ve been peering down the road to Must but can’t quite make the choice, dig a little deeper and find out what’s stopping you—today. Because there is a recurring choice in life, and it occurs at the intersection of two roads. We arrive at this place again and again.”

#reading list #books #elle luna #the crossroads of should and must

[blueprintnewspapers-blog]

Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu: Giving succour to women with breast cancer

New Post has been published on http://blueprint.ng/betty-anyanwu-akeredolu-giving-succour-to-women-with-breast-cancer/

Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu: Giving succour to women with breast cancer

Mrs. Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu is the wife of the Ondo state Governor, Oluwarotimi Odunayo Akeredolu. She is the founder of the Breast Cancer Association of Nigeria (BRECAN); a non-profit organisation that champions awareness campaigns on breast cancer. She is also an aquacultrist and philanthropist. In this chat with ENE OSANG, she speaks on BERCAN activities and the status of women and girls in Ondo and Nigeria in general

First Ladies are known for their pet projects, what is your pet project? For now, I am working hand in hand with the ministries and agencies. I like working with what is on ground and not starting up several projects.

I have an NGO, the Breast Cancer Association of Nigeria (BRECAN), which has been a fiercely independent NGO. BRECAN started 20 years ago before my husband was elected governor of Ondo state and I don’t call that a pet project or agree for people to call it a pet project as Ondo state first lady. I ensure my input can be seen in ministries and agencies where I see a gap.

For example, I am very interested in women in technology but I found out that this is a nonstarter in Ondo state because nothing was on ground. The first programme I organised was in ICT for girls in Ondo, where we partnered with cooperate organisations to offer the training and the girls went home with tablets after the training. Let me state here that the office of the first Lady has no budget, but the position is quite influential. You can attract cooperate sponsorship because people want to do business with you that you won’t have to spend any government money, so you can leverage on that position to get things done. That was what I did with the programme on ICT, and banks bank-rolled and took care of everything. We also trained girls in solar technology because girls are not in these areas. We encourage the girls to take education more seriously and before you know, many of the girls will go into ICT. There is a huge gap in fact, a gully in the ICT because it is a man’s world, that is why programmers who are females are very few and same with solar technology. We can leverage on the things happening in other parts of the world and girls over there are involved, these girls don’t have two heads yet they are doing well so we must encourage our girls in this direction.

Why did you set up BRECAN? I am a breast cancer survivor for 20years now and counting. In 1997, I was diagnosed with breast cancer I went through the treatment and survived and I decided to start the organisation to raise awareness on the disease because a lot of women are suffering and can’t even get help. I have been a survivor for 20 years and counting and I taught I couldn’t just sit and not do anything about it and that was why I formed the association.

How do you get the funds to support these women considering you said your office has no budget? Like I told you, BRECAN has been established long before my husband became the governor of Ondo state, and that is why I said it is not a pet project neither do I allow people to call it my pet project. What we do to raise fund basically is crowd funding. We always throw it to the public to support the organisation with a little money they can afford say like N200, and people could even give more if they so wish, and the money we realise we use to support women. I did crowd funding in Ondo, it was successful. I went to Imo and did same, and it was a success as well.

Aside funding, what other challenges do you encounter running BRECAN? The major challenge is the belief that as a first lady I have so much money. People just feel that the state treasury is in my bedroom, not knowing the office has no budget. I got tired of saying I don’t have money to give, so we started doing crowd fund raising and it is a success. It is working and we are supporting lots of women with the money we raise. I come from Imo state and we also launched a chapter of BRECAN there successfully but like Ondo state people don’t drop money easily, so we decided to do crowd fund raising as well. I knew even with that people will not give money so we initiated the idea of making people win prizes donating. We had this Shoprite vouchers and so we put it out to the public to buy tickets and afterwards there was raffle draw. We had 1st, 2nd and 3rd prizes as well as consolation prices and many people bought the tickets, they won prizes at the end of the draw and we raised money to support women with cancer. So, this has been our strategy of raising funds. We cater to every Nigerian suffering cancer with the breast most especially those in the rural areas.

The Ondo state government has been accused in some quarters of marginalising women in appointments. What is your take on gender equality in the state? When it comes to gender equality in Nigeria as a whole, not just Ondo state, it is a nonstarter. If you are in a position you will think everything is okay for everyone but when you get to the community that is when you get to feel the pulse and real status of women, not in the town or cities. For a typical Nigerian man in the village a woman is just there right on the floor. We need to be serious with education of women, and I think being serious is by changing the status quo and there should be a paradigm shift to make education of the girl-child a priority. A lot come along with the education of women for example in health; an educated woman will know when to go for ante natal care and value it, they will know the importance of breastfeeding and so on, so it is very important we took the education of women seriously.

Are you saying it is not really important for women to be in politics/governance? Talking about politics, for a woman to make impact she must have good grasp of what she is going there to do, else, you just be in politics as a bench warmer, who will only just claim allowances to build houses and travel abroad without making any impact, and that is what is happening. Education is eye-opening, when girls see that women are not well represented they will ask questions. For instance, some girls have never heard of women in ICT but after our summer training, they began to ask questions in fact, what we have put there is like a university of life. We make them ask questions about things around them, and that is how we groom politicians.

Do you think gender equality is achievable in Nigeria considering the decreasing number of women representatives in government? Gender equality is achievable if women try more in advocacy and not pay lip service to equality matters. This should begin in the homes by parents making sure both sexes are treated equally. Let the boys do chores as much as the girls do; boys should wash plates too, they should clean their spaces, they should do their laundry and ensure the house is clean. Not when girls are doing all these, the boys will be playing football. I never let my male children play while the girls are busy with chores, everybody participates and today their wives are enjoying. So, generally, youths must be sensitised to recognise the importance of women in the society. Women’s role in the society should be recognised and should not be seen as dormant like African culture has made it so by still seeing women as a piece of furniture to be discarded whenever. There should be more female faces in gender struggle, there should be more reawakening among women, more women should cry out about the disparity in gender while they continue to seek for support from men. To confront social challenges, you must know what the problems are, we appreciate the men who support gender equality and women must work hand in hand with them. It is very important we identified those issues that made Nigeria rank 125th on the global gender ranking and pursue those issues focusing on one after another. Even if it is on one area we should put more commitment and make impact with it in the society.

#Betty Anyanwu-Akeredolu #Cancer