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hearteyes-for-killmonger · 4 years

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Best Friends, Part II

Ron was in the middle of deep cleaning his apartment, vacuuming the floor with patchouli incense on the burner. His messages were going off and he knew who it was playing on his phone without having to look. He'd ignored the notifications for the past thirty minutes but she kept messaging him.

There were multiple attachments. Pictures of gutterballs and a couple of him from yesterday at the bowling alley. One of her face, smiling mockingly. Finally he replied.

Ron: You have no life

Melanie: You have no talent

Ron: You good enough at handling balls for the both of us

Melanie: Jealous?

Ron: Is your ass jealous of your forehead for getting all the thickness?

Melanie's jaw dropped onto her lap. She was in the drive-thru at Panda Express but now she had the mind to pop up on him. It was on sight since everyone knew she was sensitive about her lack of ass. She put her food tray in the passenger seat and changed her destination from Target to Ron.

She knocked on the door as though he owed her money and he answered it dressed in a white undershirt and light grey joggers, his eyes rolling the smallest amount.

"What," he said gruffly.

Pushing her way by him, she could smell that incense and see that he was cleaning. The lysol was sitting in blue bucket with the windex next to a rag and the vacuum was out. He waited impatiently for what she had to say, staring with a face that said spit it out.

"Why are we friends," she asked point blank.

"Because our friends are friends," he blurted just as easily.

"If that's the only reason, I don't think we should be friends anymore. I'm breaking up witchu."

"That's fine."

"...So you don't care. That's all you have to say about it?"

"Well you came over to my place to spit bullshit and that's the conclusion you came to. What did you expect me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe let's discuss this? You're being rash? I care about our friendship? Something."

"Let's discuss this. You're being rash. I care about our friendship," he sighed in the most monotone voice he could muster, wiping his eyes.

"This is why I'm always on your ass, you're so fucking rude for no reason, like-"

"No it's with reason.."

"I'm being serious, trying to figure out a way we can relate to each other without being at each other's throats."

"I understand that," he nodded. "Do you understand that your typical m.o. is to be a bitch unprovoked because you think it's hilarious for some reason. You can't take it when someone meets that energy."

"Did you just call me a bitch," Melanie's head tilted trying to understand what she'd heard.

"I didn't call you a bitch. You tend to ACT like one. We'd get along much better if you'd relax and get off my dick, unless you like it there for some reason," he blinked. Melanie's words failed her, her nostrils flaring. She just had feelings that she was sorting through as she stood there, staring. "You're welcome to stay, but I do need to finish cleaning," he said walking off to grab the vaccum. It was loud, too loud for her to talk over.

She watched his back as he walked away with it to reach more parts in the hall. The view of his biceps, arm vein, and the thin shirt clinging to his defined back did things to her that she couldn't say. "...I'll be back," she called watching him on her way out. "Getting my food from the car. Don't lock me out."

"Yup," he replied.

•

Erik was picking up a few things for home in Kroger when he decided to stop by the flowers. Their flower selections was part of the reason he'd chosen them instead of a Walmart as the place to to shop for his things. He could kill two birds with one stone getting something nice for Kera as well. She liked flowers. Well, at least he felt like she did. She seemed to like getting them for her birthday last year even before he'd given her her real gift, a necklace. Hopefully she'd like the flowers he picked this time.

Their flowers appeared to be more alive as he'd suspected. He decided on a multicolored arrangement with various flowers. They looked festive enough. The step up was to move them to an ornate red vase which he paid for. Red was her favorite color, it would definitely be eye-catching.

•

Melanie twisted the doorknob to Ron's apartment pleased to find that it was still unlocked. He was on his knees cleaning baseboards. Walking to the couch, she sat and placed her food on the living room table, grabbing her plasticware from the bag. He was working hard while she watched enjoying the view.

"Are you gonna stare at me the entire time," he asked, still not ceasing.

"Does that bother you," she asked with a mouth full of noodles, cupping her hand under her chin to catch them from falling.

He sighed. "Nope." When he finished with the baseboards, he stood rested his hands on his hips, looking around the space. He went to the blue bucket and took it to the kitchen. Melanie continued eating until she heard noises and wondered what he was doing. When she got up she could see him with a sponge mop washing the wall.

"You clean your walls," she frowned in confusion.

"About once every two months. I'm allergic to dust."

"I clean my walls never. I do dust though."

"I have to do that consistently so the dust doesn't build up and I vaccum."

"Did.. not know that about you," her eyes widened.

"There's a lot we could learn about each other," he replied still focused on that wall. Melanie thought about it. Picking up his microfiber cloth, she inspected it before carrying it to the blinds on the window next to the balcony and wiping them down. Silently, the two continued to clean until the place was right by Ron's standards.

"I think we did it," Ron sighed looking around for something else to clean and finding nothing.

"I'd say we did.. We make a good team."

"Who'd have ever thought.."

"You're being rude," Melanie pointed.

"Reflex," he smirked. "You're absolutely right. We worked very well together. This just goes to show we can be civil."

Melanie nodded carrying the bucket of used water into the bathroom to empty it into the spotless toilet bowl. "So what were you planning to do today," she asked noticing Ron from her peripheral vision. It looked like he'd found the bathroom doorknob to polish. He closed the door and the light flipped off. "..Ron?"

"Don't talk," he whispered close to her ear. She shivered as his lips landed on her neck, his arms around her waist. Her body buckled and he caught her bringing her carefully to the floor. She was silent as he pulled off her joggers and her red and white panties. In the dark, she could still make out his silhouette and his eyes looking up at her. She lifted her leg high as he parted her thighs, her ankle bumping the sink. His tongue explored her center eagerly as she laid cramped in the floor shifting to make herself comfortable. Suddenly he stopped, sitting up. "Thought this would be sexy, but I underestimated the fact that my bathroom is small as hell."

A moment of silence passed before they both started to chuckle, that turning into snickers. "Ah shit," Ron sighed standing to flip the light back on and help Melanie up from the cold floor.

"We can do it on the floor in the kitchen.. It's clean enough to eat of off," Melanie shrugged to Ron's humor.

"NO," he stated firmly. "Let's just do this the right way and have sex in the bed. That way we're both comfortable and you're the only one who has to worry about back pains later."

Melanie's eyes widened before narrowing when she caught his meaning. "I like the sound of that," she puckered walking backward into his bedroom as he followed her closely, his eyes trained solely on hers. Based on the print she felt when he laid her down, getting on top of her, she knew he wasn't one for empty statements. She wrapped her arm around his neck, pushing her way on top and he flipped her back underneath him with a ferocity, his tongue on her neck again followed up by his teeth, stealing her breath.

•

The catfish were cleaned and frying. The potatoes were boiling. The greens were cooking. Kera checked her emails and danced while her music played. Some bounce music. She planned to run to SunTrust and Macy's after Sunday dinner. Then she saw Marquis with his denim jacket and his shoes on, keys jingling as if he were going somewhere.

"Where you going baby? You ain't gone eat?"

"Huh? Oh I'm a eat it when I get back I promise," Marquis winked leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"So I guess it's just Erik and I sitting here with all this good food," Kera frowned with a hand on her hip.

"Erik coming over here? Tonight?" He turned around like she figured he would. He was getting real transparent whereas she hadn't originally seen his jealousy. He'd always appeared so confident.

"Yes. I invited him yesterday."

"You invited him," he pointed.

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"Nah. It ain't a problem..." Checking his phone, he frowned. "I got a message, lemme see what this is talking about..." He turned around heading to the couch and Kera rolled her eyes. She peeled the potatoes and chopped them before starting her dressing to mix them in. Her potato salad was legend in her family for a reason, she put a lot into them. Kera continued to cook to her music and when she was done, the catfish out of the grease and resting, she walked to the couch taking a seat directly next to Marquis.

"I thought you had someplace to go."

"Yeah, I did. I was going to go kick it with Ron but he canceled on me."

"Oh really. Next time you'd think i

I'd be involved in the plans like I typically am," Kera deadpanned. If there was anything she hated, it was a liar.

"We didn't ask you to come this time because we had grown man plans and shit to discuss."

"Grown.. man.. plans....," Kera frowned confused by his meaning. "I'm a keep it real with ya chief, that sounds ridiculous, but gone have ya little boys only time.."

"See you taking it wrong."

"How else I'm posed to take this, Marquis? You starting to leave me a lil too much now and I don't like that."

"Come here," he gestured for Kera to lean her head onto his chest. He wrapped his arm around her snugly. "I'm staying with you tonight."

"Duh! Because Ron canceled! I'm your back-up."

"You're never my back-up, always a priority."

Kera looked up through her lashes at his bearded chin before looking ahead with a light sigh. Somehow she still doubted that. "I'm going to the restroom," she announced jumping up.

Marquis answered the door when Erik knocked minutes later, stepping aside to slap and grab Erik's hand. "Sup, E?"

"What's good Quis?"

"Glad to have you over."

"Glad to be here."

"Them flowers in your hand for me?" Marquis' brow raised.

"They're for the home, it's rude to come empty-handed."

"BESTIE," Kera nearly ran from the bathroom to meet Erik, immediately spotting the beautiful red vase in his hand. Her face cracked into a smile. "You brought flowers? They're so beautiful! I'm putting these on the table. Come on, we waited for you."

"And damn if I'm not hungry."

Following Kera and his nose, he found the kitchen which was decorated in red. Looking at all the food, he hummed in approval before taking a seat at the table where his hosts stood.

"I'll say the prayer," Kera announced watching them lower their heads. "Lord thank you for this meal today. Bless this food for the nourishment of our bodies. Bless the hands that prepared it. May no illness find its way in. And Lord, bestow safe traveling mercies to Erik on his way home. Amen."

"Amen," both men agreed.

Marquis snapped his head up, hitting the table with his palm. "Let's eat."

Kera served them both and herself, sitting to enjoy the meal she'd prepared.

"So you graduate this year," Marquis stated collecting a healthy forkful of greens. "That's good, I'm looking forward to starting my doctorate program in fall."

"Yeah, it's a lot of work, but nothing we ain't used to."

Erik bit into the catfish on his fork as Marquis nodded slowly, maintaining strong eye contact as he chewed. Erik fought the urge to smile in response. He was under Marquis' skin. "You good bro," Erik's brows rose.

"Yeah. So Erik.. how'd it go with that young lady at the bowling alley, you link with her yet?" He sipped from his glass of sweet tea and Erik shrugged lightly.

"Nah."

"Oh, not yet? Well what about that chick at the rink last week. I heard about that one," Marquis blew through his lips as if it were a steamy story.

"Nah," Erik replied unbothered.

"Ohh, well you still got the chick from the pool hall. Remember she was all up on you when y-"

"We get it," Kera sighed, her eyes closed.

"I'm only asking because I know a girl who would be interested in going out with him if he would try it out. A blind date," Marquis pointed. Kera rolled her eyes.

"He's not into relationships, I already asked when I offered to hook him up at the bowling alley yesterday. I was gonna put him with Dasia."

"Oh yeaah," Marquis' eyes widened. "She's cute. You oughtta get on that," he gestured to Erik.

"She's not a prostitute," Kera's lips tightened in irritation. "...and neither is he, leave him alone."

"It's cool," Erik sighed. "It's all about finding the right person. It's more difficult for some than it is for others. I'm just glad y'all found each other," he nodded with a smile. "That's worth celebrating. True love is hard."

Marquis nodded soaking it in before sighing gently. Looking to his glass, he raised it taking a sip. "True that..," his brows raised. "Cheers to that real true love."

"Cheers," Erik nodded as he and Kera raised their glasses to sip.

•

Melanie laid in the bed next to Ron as he breathed in and out slowly and quietly. She was watching him from up close, his eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful despite the monster he'd just been. She'd been staring at him for the past ten minutes.. wondering what had possessed him. Her leg was over his and her hand was on his chest. After another minute, she couldn't fight it anymore. She tucked her head under his chin and got as close as she could to snuggle.

"..And this is the true you," he muttered catching her off guard. He appeared to be sleeping, but it wasn't the case. "All you needed was a little love."

"Shut up," she whispered.

His arm wrapped firmly around her back and she thought of protesting, but when he squeezed her even more tightly, she fully relaxed closing her eyes.

•

"Dinner was good, thank you," Erik smiled giving Kera a hug before grabbing Marquis' hand and following up with a one-armed hug.

"You know what man, come back anytime."

Kera looked briefly to Marquis in surprise before beaming a smile at Erik.

"Thanks. Y'all welcomed over anytime too, just call first," he winked causing Marquis' chest to jump in humor.

"You got it, E."

Once Erik left, Marquis recieved a call causing Kera to pause wondering who it was. He didn't answer it, quickly denying the call instead dropping the phone into his pocket.

"Who's that," Kera asked.

His brows went high as he paused. "..Uh, it." He shook his head. "Nobody."

It was odd behavior, but it wasn't the first time he'd done that with the phone recently. It was probably the third. Kera's forehead creased as she stared at him before walking away.

Marquis immediately pulled his phone and checked it before slipping it back into his pocket. "Baby I'm going out for a bit. Going to Walmart. You need anything?"

Kera sighed. "...No."

"I'll be back alright?"

"I hear you," she replied dryly.

•

A knock on the front door came causing both Ron and Melanie's eyelids to pop open.

"Ron," a choice called.

"Who's that," Melanie sat up to listen, her hand in Ron's face.

"Don't know.."

"Rooon," the voice sang.

"Nevaeh," Melanie whispered jumping up with Ron right behind her re-making the bed in triple-time. Melanie scooted to the bathroom and scouted for her underwear, wiggling back into them and her joggers. Her Iron Maiden shirt was on the floor in the bedroom along with her bra. Meanwhile, Ron was jumping into his shorts and pulling on his t-shirt. He took a glance back at Melanie sitting innocently on the couch before opening the door.

Nevaeh pushed past him walking in and froze when she saw Melanie sitting on the couch.

"Since... when..," she pointed between the two in confusion, "How... When did you two start.. hanging out?..."

"Today," Melanie blurted. "We got through our issues, we're friends now."

Nevaeh blinked looking back to Ron who nodded once in confirmation.

"Well I'll be damned," Nevaeh exclaimed. "It's about time.. I'm glad to hear it."

"So... what's up," Ron asked and Nevaeh started to dump her relationship issues all over the living room where he'd cleaned.

"Can you believe he said he didn't want me to meet his mom? What does that mean," she demanded in a panic.

"Well it could mean he doesn't really like you but I don't think that's the case here. I think he just doesn't want to bring you around their energy maybe for your sake. Maybe he knows them better than you do."

"But I wanna meet them, I don't care how they act."

"You'll care when they call you ugly and try to make him break up with you. Not that that would happen, but it's a possibility if he's trying to protect you from them."

"I still wanna meet them though.. what you think," Nevaeh asked Melanie who was listening to the whole thing.

"I agree with what Ron said. Dion could just be trying to spare you from a fucked up family. He seems like he really likes you so I don't think it's anything bad."

"Y'all fuckin?" Nevaeh's head tilted causing their heads to jolt before she laughed. "No, it's just I'm not used to y'all agreeing on anything. "

Melanie frowned. "...It's a first time for everything."

•

As weeks progressed, Kera began to get more and more fed up with what she saw in Ron coming to light. He'd stopped lowkey tripping over Erik, but he was still just as secretive over that phone of his. Then he made one grave mistake that had Kera on the phone with Zekia, going off.

"No he did not," she exclaimed.

"He did! Yes the fuck he did! I'm looking at this shit now. He got a bag of lingerie sitting right here in his trunk, receipt says since last week and he ain't said shit to me. I ain't gotten them. I wear a 32B and this bra is an A cup. These panties for a girl with no ass. I'm small but I ain't that damn small, Kia."

"You know he was fucking with that Korean girl before you.. she was flat as a damn board."

"I know, that's what he like! He want 'em small and stick boney so he can toss em around. I'm too wide! I got too much fuckin hips for this lil shit. Uh-uh!"

"What are you gonna do?"

Kera sighed. "I don't know."

"Think about it. Whatever you decide let me know!"

"Mhm," Kera muttered looking at the 2 sets of lingerie as she hung up. They were hidden well, she'd almost never seen them. "Can't believe this shit," she mumbled putting it back as she found it.

It happened that she was still near home when Erik called her phone asking if he could drop by. She swung back by the apartment meeting him there.

"You look upset," he said on sight as she let him in. She bet she did. She was still pissed from before.

"Mhm," she muttered. "But that's neither here nor there, what's up with you?"

"You look pissed," Erik stared, his eyes wide.

"I am."

"At me?" He looked concerned.

Kera squinted. "Why would I be mad at you? No, I'm pissed at this nigga who obviously don't know who the hell I am. Stupid ass, je dois le gifler. Ce n'est pas moi. Il vaut mieux essayer cette merde avec une chienne différente-"

"Whoa, what he do," Erik interjected.

"He's cheating on me, think I'm stupid."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know, I'm not dumb."

Erik put his hands up. "You're not dumb. Catch me up, what happened to make you think he's cheating on you?"

"You want me to map it out? Okay he don't fuck me anymore like he used to, it's blaaand," she dragged. "He be hiding his phone. Women calling all times of the night and he walk in the living room to take the calls thinking I'm sleep. I can't see his messages. He be leaving not wanting to say where he's going. On top of that, I just found lingerie in his car, hidden, and it ain't mine."

Erik's eyes never returned to normal size as he listened. "Damn....," he muttered. "Alright.. maybe the lingerie was yours but he got the wrong size."

"No. He knows what size I wear and if he were confused he could've just looked through my shit it's right there. He could've asked."

"Shit...," Erik sighed.

"What size would you guess I am," she asked holding out her arms.

"Uh.. you wear a small. Size 0 up top maybe a 4 at the bottom in women's. B cup... yeah, you got ass though."

"See! You know and we ain't even together. Tell me how he wouldn't know that?"

Erik shook his head. "I can't."

"Exactly! That's okay though. Let's talk about you, what's up?"

"Honestly I just wanted to talk to you... I was in the area and remembered the invitation to stop by anytime."

"Yeah, I'm glad you're here actually.. now that I think of it," she said taking out her phone as he made himself comfortable on the couch.

"Oh? Why's that?"

"You can be the judge of this bullshit when I call him."

Erik balled his lips in humor trying to keep it in. Kera had a temper and could be hotheaded, but it was endearing and a plus rather than a negative to her personality. Her phone was on speaker and after a few rings, Marquis' voice answered.

"Sup," he whispered.

"Marquis where you at?"

"What you mean? I'm just.. I'll be back in a few hours."

"Uh-uh. Where are you? Say my name."

"Kera," he whispered."I gotta go."

"Nah, not Kera. Say baby, Marquis. Talk that sweet shit you be tryna speak at home."

"I'll call you on my way," he whispered hanging up. Kera's face frowned and she nodded in a way that told Erik she was on another level of done. When she looked at him, he shook his head, his eyes still wide.

"This dumbass nigga," she whispered.

"Foolish," Erik threw in seeing his chance appear.

"I'm a good woman. I cook, clean, bring in money. I have ambition. I'm smart."

"You beautiful, funny, educated, sexy, talented, responsible, versatile, strong. Assertive, you don't take no shit. Throw down in a kitchen.."

"Right..," Kera blinked.

"You way too good to play background in somebody else's life. You need someone who's gonna put you first and understand that you talk big but you're sensitive. You need quality time. You wanna be held. You wanna be spoiled with affection like the queen you are. You deserve every bit of that. Someone who's gonna support you fully and lift you high, earn your trust and affection."

"..Yeah," Kera breathed, watching him carefully as he watched her.

"Mhm I know," he nodded. "Hopefully someone who knows you like your steak medium well, cajun is your favorite cuisine next to Jamaican, you can't tolerate the cold, you eat your weight in orange tic tacs, you like to dance to make yourself feel more like your ideal self, you secretly wish you'd studied dance instead of journalism, and your favorite color is red. They'd definitely need to know that."

Kera licked her lips looking down at his as he mirrored her.

"Just as I'd hope whoever you ended up with would know you like to sleep in the nude, you like spicy everything, you hate country and bluegrass, you're actually bad at trying to rap. You like to stare at clouds and walk out in the rain without a jacket. You chew Five Gum but only because you never remember the little white lifesavers exist. Your favorite color is yellow.. but if anyone asks you'll say black," she smirked. He seemed lost for words, his eyes trained on hers as she smiled.

"...You know I only... said that I slept nude because I wanted you to picture it."

"Oh I pictured it," she grinned. "Every night as I'd touch myself."

"FUCK...."

"Mhm," Kera hummed crossing the distance to sit on Erik's lap. He chuckled soundlessly, nervous as he looked at her.

"...Did you know I was feeling you in grad?"

"WHAT?" Her eyes got big as she sat bolt straight. "WHY YOU AIN'T TELL ME!??"

Erik shrugged. "I was stupid.... then when we graduated, I swore I'd tell you. Told Marquis," he said looking in her eyes for her to put it together.

"Oh damn," she whispered. "And he just..."

"You said yes, I ain't wanna fuck that up."

"You should've fucked it up," she frowned.

"I'm fuckin it up now." Gripping her thighs, he secured her legs around his waist as he stood, bouncing her to move his hands to her ass. "You gone cheat on your nigga for me?"

"Fuck it up, E."

He snorted as he dropped her on her bed. "You sure?" Before she could reply, he was stripping off his clothes.

"Fuck it up," she repeated watching him, his growing grin causing her to. He touched his nose to hers briefly before pulling at the hem of her shirt. It was one of Marquis' old beaters that had shrunk. He pulled off her jeans, tugging until they came all the way off. His hands roamed her skin as if it were braille and he were trying to read it.

Eyes sparkling, he flipped her onto her stomach, her feet on the floor. "You got condoms?"

"In the drawer," she pointed. "We stopped using them since I'm on birth control."

"Gotchu, gotchu," he whispered putting on the condom. It was snug around his tip and squeezing. More snug than he was used to. "...You got some bigger condoms?" Kera had to look back to see what he was going on about. Her eyes widened when she saw.

"Nah, that's it for the condoms..."

Erik stood idly wondering if he should just go raw. His tests were clean afterall. "If you're wondering.. I get tested regularly. My shit clean.."

"Mine too."

"...You wanna..."

"Fuck the condom."

"Yesss," he groaned snatching it off and dropping it on the floor. Dropping to his knees, he pulled down her purple panties moving her to her knees on the bed. He was greeted with the sight of her naked pussy exposed under her round perfect ass, peaks of pink showing through invitingly. Grabbing her cheeks he squeezed and slapped them to make them wobble a bit, showing more of that glorious pink.

"Mmm," she moaned lightly.

"I ain't even touch you yet," he smiled. "Move it for me." Her ass began to move as she began to twerk, nothing hidden to his eye. He dove in without trepidation pleased to hear her gasp.

Starting with her asscheek which he slurped on like a grapefruit before moving to the other, he left wet kisses everywhere. His fingers rubbed her lips petting them gently before he planted his face to suck them up with his lips feeling her hips buck against him. He did it twice more slurping as if eating noodles. She was already that wet. His tongue slid up and down before focusing on her clit and flicking. Once he heard the sounds she made, he sucked, his lips smacking.

"Hmmmm," she breathed unsteadily, the sound of her ragged breaths encouraging him to suck some more. When her breathing came faster, he slowly inserted finger and then another, pumping his fingers quickly against that familiar fleshy spot.

"Oooh," she moaned sharply as she clenched. He didn't stop and she cried out again. "Whooo!" He started to say me baby, that's who. "Shitshit!..UH.."

Slipping his fingers out, they were glossy past the 2nd knuckle. He slapped her ass twice as she clenched, once hard on each cheek before putting his fingers back in and pumping for her orgasm. He could feel her coming.

"This ain't shit," he muttered, shocked by how sensitive her body was. "Go head, cum." Rubbing her clit, his fingers pumped inside. He withdrew his fingers once more to slap each of her asscheeks hard before replacing his fingers.

"UHHHH!" She came followed by a high pitched whimper and her thighs tensed, her ass cheeks jumping.

"Shiiit," he muttered as he watched her cum on his fingers. "He ain't been in this..."

"Not like this," she said breathily.

"Fuck.. he don't make you cum like this?"

"Mm-mm."

"Mmm, but you like the way I touch you," he whispered stroking his dick behind her.

"Hell yea," she chuckled. Unknowingly, she was feeding his kink.

"Fuck," Erik muttered pushing inside of her as far as his tip. Planting a hand on her lower back, he ran the other up her spine wrapping his fingers around her neck, squeezing it lightly as he pulled her ass against his hips and thrusted with small movements letting his dick do the work in her. Her body melted in his hands and he continued to stroke her sliding a bit deeper, a little faster, and then a bit more after that.

"You like that, bitch," he tried out, ready to change up if she didn't.

"Yes.. yes.. yessss," she moaned. "This dick is so thiiickkk.. oh my god."

"Yeah baby? Mmm.. Come get it. Throw that ass, whore," he toyed playfully with a smirk. Almost instantly, Kera began to throw it back. "Fuck.. Look at you taking that thick dick. That pussy eating it," he whispered as she fucked him. Kera was in heaven, stuffed with his thick pole and then he took control.. that was then she lost hers.

"Daddy," she cried as her ass bounced off of him, clapping on his skin, pussy soaked and full of thick dick.

"Queen," he replied. His grip on her neck tightened and her mouth popped open as he licked her jaw, his tongue desperate to taste her again. Her palms were on her bed, body shaking from the force of his. Her face screwed and her eyes rolled.

"Kiss me," Erik panted engrossed in everything that was Kera. Turning her head, she allowed his tongue to violate her willing mouth as she moaned.

"I'm gonna cu-," she whispered cut off by Erik's low voice in her ear.

"That nigga ain't shit, is he? Tell me he ain't shit.."

"Who ain't shit?"

"Marquis, daddy," she whimpered.

"I'm daddy now."

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#original #best friends #erik killmonger x oc #erik killmonger smut

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fistsoflightning · 4 years

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mune ga hachikire-sōde

my chest is about to burst.

gatheredfates’ [30 day WOL challenge] | prompt: letter

just a lil bit of catharsis for me… sort-of kind-of a follow up to holy! also @to-the-voiceless i am So Sorry for this, thank you for letting me take the linkpearl idea from this fic but also i’m really sorry for the angst again??? that playlist you made for harudewah. i am Still losing my mind over it.

also CW: a’dewah definitely has an anxiety/panic attack and it’s. kinda hard for me to read through and i was the one who wrote it? just take caution since emotions are Messy!

[ao3 mirror] (the word count rounds to about 7.5k!)

“but i find that lately i've been crying like a tall child…

...please, hurry, leave me, i can't breathe

please don't say you love me

mune ga hachikire-sōde

one word from you and i would

jump off of this ledge i'm on, baby

tell me "don't", so i can crawl back in”

- first love/late spring, mitski

it’s barely three nights after the last visit to the cabinet that a’dewah finds himself again holed up between shelves and books, studying potential ways for g’raha to infuse the damned auracite with his blood, and a’dewah has only just realized that his hands are shaking and he has a craving to teleport to doma on a whim. a small craving for salmon muffins tickles the back of his mind, but he shoves it aside.

“i suppose i should have expected this,” he sighs to no one in particular, a small wave of magic stopping the shivering in his fingers. if only he could heal away the rest. magic can only keep him running for so long, and to extend one’s waking hours like he does would be considered harmful at best and eventually fatal at worst, should he keep doing so.

whatever must be done to keep myself from doing something stupid.

it’s not hard to see him falling back into old patterns—of tiring himself out so he doesn’t think too hard about what he doesn’t want to dwell on, of slipping further and further into both avoiding his feelings and drowning in them. his old friend; that familiar hollow, needy feeling that chews at his sanity yet again as he keeps writing down formulas that might save g’raha from doing something rash that will absolutely earn him a beating from… well. a number of people in the future. that tiny, loud, intriguingly horrible idea that sits in the center of the empty warmth burning low in his chest like a lantern running on its last bits of oil.

an angry, huffy exhale escapes his otherwise tightly sealed lips. hells, that hollow feeling shouldn’t even be there in the first place; it’s not as if he had no source of comfort here on the first—he doesn’t need haruki’s attention like some fragile flower, he could just ask zaya or wyda for a hug if he really needed the warm feeling. he shouldn’t be needing to constantly argue with himself whether he should write a letter, or call, or do nothing at all.

really, what he should do is stop thinking about it, but here he is, squeezing his eyes shut and keeping his hands planted on the table. he shouldn’t want what he nearly destroyed this much, and yet—

greedy, he chides, forcing himself to hold the quill tighter so that it presses into the callus forming on the side of his finger; a quiet, grounding pain. not even elwin sounds this silly. ‘wanting’. he doesn’t particularly care for arcanima, but if it helps him in the game of tag he’s playing with his own feelings for what feels like the millionth time in his life…

a’dewah keeps writing. reaches out for a book to his left, only flicking his eyes over for a moment to see the cover he needs, and then he sees the kanai-anzen omamori sitting on top of the very book he’d been meaning to crack open next, waiting from when zaya quietly snuck over to sit with him for a few bells.

great.

the prospect of slamming his head into the damned table and giving himself a dire enough concussion so that someone in this library gets the guts to drag him to chessamile and have her put him to sleep—preferably for a long, long time—grows more enticing every moment his brain spends convincing him that making a small, short call wouldn’t be so bad. so does the idea of finding a pouch of dream powder and using as sugar in his chamomile tea later even though he knows how lengthy a lecture he’ll receive from g’raha, alphinaud, y’shtola and lunya if he does try it.

y’shtola would be disappointed in me; looking for a simple way out instead of pushing forward, he thinks, lifting his quill from the page and glaring at the small ink pool in his usually neat (doman) handwriting. he’s still not accustomed to writing with a quill but eorzean shopkeeps don’t carry calligraphy brushes, especially not ones small enough for his needs.

but someone in kugane might, he thinks and gods he just needs to get it over with otherwise he’ll never make it to tomorrow night with his sanity intact.

he leans back in the hard, wooden chair, running a hand through his too-tightly tied up hair until his fingertips brush the edges of his linkpearl earring, searching for the one that cools his burning hands like diving into a river. once he finds it, it’s almost too simple to thumb open a connection despite the larger-than-usual tug on his own aether, the gentle chiming as he waits leaving him to wonder if this was going to be another one of his mistakes. he takes a sip of his (cold, stale) tea, steals a glance back down at the damned arcanima circles, stares back up at the glass ceiling of the cabinet and counts the stars as he waits, still pushing away the wanting that suffocates his heartbeat.

the monotonous chimes give way to a whole lot of static and the quiet rustling of leaves in the wind, and a’dewah almost thinks he’s used the wrong linkpearl until a tired, gentle voice like lazy river water whispers, “hey, can you keep this quick? it’s kinda late, and i’ve had a pretty long day.”

“ruki,” a’dewah breathes out, sitting up straight in his chair as haruki gives out a small ah of surprise. his tea is definitely cold, but he feels warmed anyways, a jolt of energy restoring the clarity to his murky thoughts. “sorry, is it a bad time?”

“a little, but i really thought you were hana-chan, or tsukiko—sorry, mune fell asleep while we were out and i was a little preoccupied.” for a connection made across worlds, the quality isn’t all that bad—a result of zaya’s very long search for a good linkshell to gift him, probably—and through it he can hear running water, maybe a few splashes and the click of haruki’s sabatons against stone as he walks slowly. he’d have sped up, if a’dewah were actually there to see him. he must be at the docks of the enclave, walking home with mune cradled in his arms. “what’s up?”

“nothing, really. i just—” needed to hear your voice. wanted to take a bit of your time. craved the warm feeling that fills my chest anytime you laugh or call me sunshine. “i have a bit of down time, and thought i’d see if you were, uh, free to talk? we—last time i was dragged into treasure hunting before i’d got to catch up with you, so i was thinking we could, well, just talk.”

“for you? of course,” haruki says, and a’dewah nearly breathes out a sigh. “just lemme get mune in bed and we can ramble about our days, or… weeks? hey, is it night there too?”

a’dewah nearly says yes, but the chirping birds and first light outside the windows of the cabinet tell him otherwise… but if he says it’s early morning, like very early, will haruki just tell him to go to bed like everyone else? he lays his head down flat on the table, staring at the quill loose in his hand and the incomplete formula on the parchment in front of him longingly. he doesn’t want that. ah, and again; wanting.

“no,” he lies, steadying his voice. a little half-truth wouldn’t hurt him… hopefully. “it’s a little later than dawn, but it’s still morning.”

“er, sir a’dewah?” just his luck; moren comes around the side of the bookshelf, eyes worried and moss green hair tied into a bun—it seems the warmer weather was getting even to the recluse librarian. “the exarch requests you do sleep soon, partly on lady lanya’s behalf? i… don’t quite know how he knows your whereabouts, but he said something about requesting the help of a “hagane-san”... d-do you think he’s in need of chessamile’s sleep draughts again?”

a’dewah stifles a groan, because moren had thoroughly blown a massive hole in his lie and haruki would have heard him. plus—since when did lunya and g’raha know about his sleeping issues? why is g’raha threatening him with hanami? why is lunya so worried about him? he lifts his head from the table, somehow pulling himself together enough to smile back at moren.

“send him my deepest regards, and that i will as soon as i’ve finished here.” a’dewah points to the linkpearl earring gleaming lightly in the dim candlelight and then to his pile of papers, and moren nods before scurrying off, presumably to wherever g’raha is watching him from. gods, if he didn’t fear lunya’s wrath, he might have strongly suggested g’raha stuff it.

haruki pipes up after moren’s footsteps recede into the sounds of dawn, more worried than chiding when he says, “dewah—”

“i know, ruki, sorry, i was just—i’m in the middle of a formula and got stumped so i called instead,” a’dewah says sheepishly, picking up his quill and writing down a few more calculations before capping his inkwell. less so being stumped and more so not wanting to do it, really, but that was for him to know. “i’m getting out of the library, don’t raise your voice, remember mune has better hearing than you.” he always forgets that he isn’t a child anymore, somehow, with a booming voice and bigger lungs to talk with.

he hears a small sigh, the creaking of leather and a small squeak of metal hinges on a door accompanying it. almost amused, but still a little annoyed, and he can hear the new clack of metal boots hitting wood much clearer, the echoing distance quieter as haruki heads inside. “...go to bed; i’ll talk to you as much as you want once you’re in bed, ‘kay?”

“keep talking to me while i get back to the pendants,” he tries, a little desperate as he starts to clean his table, re-shelve the books and pick up his research. “and i promise i won’t make a stop at spagyrics to get g’raha more sleeping draughts.” a false threat; he’s not going to invite chessamile to worry herself over two miqo’te scholars losing sleep, but he… he needs haruki’s voice. wants the background noise as he makes a long walk to the other side of the crystarium, not wanting to risk aethernet travel bungling up his work. “just any old story will do.”

“sure,” haruki says, resigned and soft enough to make a’dewah feel like melting. “hey, something kinda funny happened in kugane today…”

as a’dewah quickens his stride so that he might cross the crystarium faster, passing by the aetheryte crystal that can’t take him home no matter how hard he tries, haruki regales him with the story of mune running off (worrying) and finding a great big green chicken (even more worrying) that was apparently the pet of a gigantic man named yojimbo (oh, he’s heard this tale before, with different names) and haruki having to chase him down, eventually running into hildibrand, nashu, and some poor sekiseigumi they dragged along for the ride who were also looking for yojimbo. at one point, he breaks his sentence to whisper good night to sleeping mune, whispering even softer than before and a’dewah finds himself whispering the same thing as he climbs up the steps and passes the manager of suites without even a hello. it doesn’t matter; he’s not loud enough for mune to hear him or know that his dad is talking to his uncle across the rift, and somehow that hurts more than the bruise he gets when he trips over the last step to the third floor.

“i suggest staying far away from anything involving hildibrand,” a’dewah says as he cracks open the door to find an empty suite awaiting him; wyda and tehra’ir had left for eulmore. duscha and valdis accompanied y’shtola back to rak’tika, while lumelle and elwin trekked back to the inn at journey’s head by alisaie’s side. everyone else is… on the source. “he has a knack for getting everyone into trouble.”

haruki laughs, the bright sound covering the rattling wind against the windows—it must be a summer storm rolling in for it to be that violent in less than an hour. “i know; i called hana-chan and lunya about him when i couldn’t find mune and the damn chicken and she nearly choked when i mentioned his name.” the quiet rumble of wooden drawers opening, latches being unclasped, and oh dear a’dewah needs to distract himself before he starts blushing like a drunkard. “i think ihget’sae nearly strangled him; ‘pparently lunya wrangled everyone to come investigate when she heard mune got lost in kugane-dori.”

lost in kugane-dori. even a’dewah’s a little frightened by the thought of mune getting lost, remembering what almost happened to elwin. “anyone would, really. hildibrand is…” a’dewah mumbles. he pulls his boots off and tosses them next to elwin’s sandals, hachigane and gloves placed on the countertop by syhrwyda’s new cookbooks. it takes a lot more effort than he thought it would not to just collapse into bed with his battle robe on, carefully moving to grab his kimono cardigan and pajamas from where zaya folded and placed them on the bench. “he’s a force of nature. a very dense force of nature.”

“so, like us, but… worse?”

he sounds almost hesitant, and a’dewah feels his ears pin back in slight embarrassment. “you’d have to ask hanami for her opinion. she’d described us as, er, something colorful when she realized i hadn’t told anyone i was no longer interested in g’raha. lunya overheard and, well… i feel you know us all well enough to understand just what happens when lunya finds out your secrets.”

“you didn’t tell them, ” haruki exhales in a wheezy breath. his voice is muffled momentarily by metal and leather being carefully set aside, back onto the third shelf in haruki’s closet just behind the spare miqo’te sized clothing, just for him. he usually wears his yukata to bed, and convinced a’dewah more than once to take one of his spares when he’d realized his normal sleeping attire was back home. he—rather shamefully and awfully desperate—imagines haruki digging through his closet for the right colored yukata, chest bare and shivering as a’dewah bites back a laugh of his own, remembering how he had to point a bleary, rushing haruki to where his usual clothing was when he nearly missed mune’s genealogy presentation because he kept both of them up half the night. he imagines seiryu’s scale and how it never comes off from haruki’s chest for longer than a few moments, mostly because it keeps coming back, and a’dewah can kind of hear the thrum of the auspice’s aether. he’d always jokingly stuff it in his own pocket when haruki got fussy about it, and they hadn’t realized it would stay in his pocket so long as he didn’t leave yanxia til a’dewah went with hanami to namai with it still there, sitting quietly in his robe’s pocket. “did hanami—”

“she threw me to the wolves, yes, and i can still hear lumelle and a’satina’s screech of excitement, do not laugh at me,” a’dewah says fruitlessly, since haruki’s already choking down his laughs so not to wake maki and have her yell at both of them for being rowdy at whatever time of night it is. at some point, haruki sounds like he’s inhaled helium, and that sets a’dewah off in the middle of taking off his robe, bending over and dropping one of the clasps for the chain keeping the front close and the sash tumbling to the floor.

“i—kami, i really love you,” haruki says as easily as he breathes once he catches his breath, followed by the sound of the closet door closing, the drawer rolling back into place, and his lance being set against the wall. a’dewah’s breath hitches, something more than a little terrifying starting to worm its way out from the cracks haruki’s i love you tears into his tempered walls. his cardigan feels scratchy against his skin as he sits on the too large bed, moving to grab a blanket or two as haruki resumes his routine.

and after he’s practically wrapped himself in the blankets to the point where he’s swaddled like a newborn, he mumbles, “i’m in bed.” the rumbling static climbs in volume as a small clap of thunder sounds—he wonders, briefly, if the storm is zaya’s fault somehow—but a’dewah can still hear haruki’s quiet humming, the tune familiar from when they were just ten and still tripping over the lyrics. haruki makes a small noise of affirmation, hums quieting down. he can see haruki’s eyes scrunching up, focusing in on whatever it might be.

he starts to remove the clips and pins in his hair as haruki’s softened hums keeps him company. part of him wonders if haruki’s untied his hair yet, letting the mess of turquoise and teal down from the singular hair tie he somehow keeps it all in, or if he’ll wait until he’s already in bed and about to fall asleep when he suddenly remembers about it. his fingers tingle with the feeling of carding through haruki’s hair and braiding it just to see if he could. part of him hopes haruki will let him do it again, even though the first time he’d somehow tangled up the three parts into more of a twist than a braid.

“okay! now i am too.” a loud puff of air comes through; haruki must have flopped onto the futon with his arms and legs spread out. the rustling of the blankets, even though a’dewah is certain it’s summer and there’s a rather humid storm outside. he usually pulls the covers up to his stomach, especially when haruki tugs him onto his chest and into his arms. “anyways, how was your da—er, night?”

“i was in the library for the past sixteen bells, ruki, i don’t think you want to hear about it. talk about your… your past few weeks?”

“ah, right,” he says, not at all phased by the confused tone of a’dewah’s voice. “well, i got back from gangos with a new staff for mune! i’m saving it for when he finishes his current lessons with the kojin on, er, water aether? he still doesn’t like going there alone, though; he keeps asking when you’ll come back whenever i mention it.”

“is that so?” a’dewah cracks a weak smile like haruki might see it somehow. “promise i’ll be back soon… but who made a custom staff for him?”

“oh, the bozjan resistance got… was it gerolt? well, it’s something about him being a great blacksmith perfect for reconstructing the blades of gunnhildr, and he was offering services to anyone who could get him the materials, so!”

haruki rambles on about how he’d needed to “expertly persuade” hanami into helping him out with finding the inscriptions for the weapon only to realize he couldn’t do shite since they’d have to delve into the memories of poor cid, who really deserved to have a break and a lot of tea, and with each sentence a’dewah sinks deeper into something horrible. the part of him that is selfish, craves attention and touch, seems so much colder now than it was before, the hollow pit now a yawning chasm of wanting. of yearning.

he does not deserve to be yearning for haruki’s hands running across his skin, scratching at the nape of his neck to comfort and behind his ears just for fun. love is not meant to be as one-sided as he’s making theirs, a cycle of unrequested but nonetheless cherished actions rather than one side constantly wanting and the other giving. part of him wonders if he really ever loved before, or if it was just the terrible, horrible monster inhabiting the same space as him craving affection and getting it however it could, wringing it from the people a’dewah cared for.

(did his short-lived love for g’raha feel as twisted as the garden of emotions he grows in his chest for haruki? or was this what being loved and loving in return felt like?)

he bites his lip as haruki mentions a few other things he’s had happen in the time a’dewah’s been away—a very lovingly made omamori from mune, complete with a cat charm that sounds terrifying to him that lunya chose out, something about meeting tsukiko in her civilian clothing and her panicking, a visit from seiryu and suzaku inquiring to his and hanami’s whereabouts that spooked shomi and maki for a precious few seconds, a conversation with someone who said how people dream to stay with someone even in sleep—and tries not to wish for too much. even with suzaku’s blessings, his heart was still weaker; if he stressed about how good a partner he was to haruki, he might die here without ever seeing him again.

he’s probably exaggerating a little, but he’s got that odd feeling he’s going to die soon. just a little.

when haruki finishes going on about his incredibly interesting past few moons, a comfortable, smothering silence begins. a’dewah shuffles himself about so his tail isn’t suffocated under the blanket, whipping about slowly. “hey, are… are maki-san and shomi-san still, er, angry at me?”

“you really can drop the honorific, dewah,” haruki chides quietly. “but! no. not really. mother might talk to you about communicating when you come back, but you’ll be fine.” it sounds an awful lot like i won’t let them hurt you, which is stupid; they’re haruki’s mothers, they wouldn’t hurt him intentionally—but a’dewah is much softer than the stuff aymeric and hanami and haruki are made of. a golden heart, haruki says, but gold is soft. malleable. melts, under enough heat, and he is already filled with enough molten feelings to rival the sun’s heat. a’dewah is fairly certain he will melt if he damages his relationship to the haganes more than he already has, the solar flares of regret and guilt worse than any magical red lilies he could conjure.

he wants and yet he fears what he craves, left wondering which part of him is the broken bit that needs to be healed so that he might be able to just ask for it instead.

“i… er, don’t believe you, really… but i miss all of you,” a’dewah admits, feeling a bit smaller and colder than before. then, a quieter, less sure thought that really has no business bothering him: “e-except maybe itomi-san, even though she d-doesn’t really count?”

“well, y’know, she and naonaka kinda disowned themselves, so you’ll be fine.” haruki’s voice drops a smidge into bitterness—well, that wasn’t what he meant to do, curse his stupid mouth—but haruki recovers easily. he always has. “homesick for here, huh? tell you what; you can list what you miss the most, and i’ll see if i can get hana-chan to carry it over for you. maybe a’khebica has some ideas.”

“i don’t—it’s. what i miss from there isn’t, er, something hanami can bring through the rift. khebica wouldn’t know, either.”

“well, the offer still stands; i might be able to arrange something,” haruki says, and a’dewah just knows he is winking to his ceiling with a gleaming grin across his face like a’dewah can see him, and in a way, he can. it takes everything he has not to groan and smile at the goofy thought in return.

even if he did list what he missed so much about home, he’d just sound so desperate because what he misses most is haruki. for the past four years he’s been confined to the first it’s been haunting him just how much he’d relied on haruki’s energy to fuel his own once garlemald started pressing down on them double time, wondering if any of his strength was really his own. he wants what the letters they send back and forth describe; the quiet nights spent in each others’ company, the adventures in eorzea he promised, the hugs and kisses and that one dance haruki really wants him to do, the garden they’ve been caring for since he’s been gone.

lunya had offhandedly mentioned, once, how he and haruki wrote to each other like a married couple in their honeymooning phase, and he flushed a brighter red than dalamud not because she implied they were married but because he really, really wanted that more than he should. a step too far too soon, especially with the empire breathing down the warrior of lights’ necks, but fuck he really wanted to promise his future to haruki even if he didn’t know how much longer he would live just because it felt more right than everything else a’dewah could have done.

he wants too much. greedy, needy, childish wants. he just wanted to be loved for so long, and now that he has it he wants more. wanton.

“i can’t quite think of anything,” he lies through his teeth even though what he really wanted to say was i want to be yours, forever because he is and will always be a coward. “but if i figure something out i’ll tell you.”

for all his perceptiveness when a’dewah is sitting in front of him, haruki doesn’t seem to be able to pick up on him feeding both of them lies through linkpearl. maybe something to do with the interference. “‘kay.” the silence rolls back in, like an early morning fog that chills a’dewah because he knows what he’s dreading is hiding in that fog.

please don’t say you love me, a’dewah pleads even though that’s exactly what he wants to hear. i don’t want this to end, i want to listen to your voice for so much longer, i want to hear about you, i want, i want—

he must have pissed off some sort of kami of misfortune, because the very next thing haruki whispers to him, so sweet and kind and not at all knowing what he’s doing to a’dewah’s heart, is “i love you, dewah.”

“...l-love you too, ruki,” he barely manages to say, not even toying with the idea of saying love you more like usual, and oh he’s starting to cry, how embarrassing. it takes everything he has to clamp his hand over his traitorous mouth and patiently wait for haruki to end the connection, pull the blankets over his chest and go to sleep while a’dewah fights with the monster leaping out of the holes in his greedy, greedy heart.

for a moment, haruki goes quiet, only soft breathing coming over the aetheric connection, and a’dewah thinks he might be asleep. he… hopes haruki is asleep; he doesn’t know what he’d do if haruki heard him, really.

and then of course a’dewah’s fingers slip, a loud sob that sounds more like a dying cat than him tearing through the cracks, and the silent turmoil is broken as haruki obviously gets pulled from the beginnings of sleep.

“...sunshine?” haruki asks, sleep fogging up his voice and a’dewah stupidly opens his mouth to respond which only lets out a whimper instead of it’s fine , and gods he’s a horrible, horrible mess, why is he like this . it’s not fair of him to keep asking for haruki to talk him down from the edge, to cry every time he calls and expect haruki to pick up the pieces when they both know hearing him crumbles hurts both of them. “dewah? was that noise you?”

and on the other end, a’dewah can hear the rustling of blankets being pushed off—shite, he’s keeping haruki up by being a child about this—and haruki’s hands slapping onto his bedding in a light thump as he pushes himself up in fear. “what’s wrong,” haruki says so kindly and fuck, he’s crying harder now and a’dewah was already teetering on edge of something completely and entirely disastrous before he did this, why did he do this again? “did something happen?”

everything is happening at once, more like.

“i don—i don’t know,” he cries, wrapping his arms around his head like he used to when prisca would say stop crying like it would keep him safe from his own thoughts… but haruki’s not prisca and he’s using his time for him instead of for himself so why is this even happening, he shouldn’t be panicking. the blanket tangles around him, comfort twisted into a trap and a’dewah feels like he’s drowning. “i wish i did but i don’t and i’m so sorry please just end the call i need you to sleep—”

part of him is screaming please don’t leave me alone and the other part wails don’t listen to me cry again, i can’t be good for your health while a third, utterly confused bit of him sits trapped in the middle, hunkered down. the monster a’dewah has been running from has opened its maw and spews out all the things he utterly craves but ultimately does not deserve from life, threatening to swallow him whole and permanently, this time.

“sunshine, i’m not going to let you be alone when you’re crying like that,” haruki says, and a’dewah can’t tell if it’s pity or disappointment pouring through the linkpearl but he hates it, please just leave him here to suffer. “unfortunately, you’ve found a very stubborn person to date.”

he knows, but he also knows haruki knows danger when he hears it, so why doesn’t he run from this?

because he loves you, part of him thinks in mune’s voice, remembering the comfort the little raen boy could bring in four words when a’dewah looked worried in the middle of teaching him something and gods, since when was a child more emotionally mature than him?

maybe because you never got the chance to be a kid and grow up normally, he thinks again, teetering dangerously close to hyperventilating as he practically strangles his fingers in his tangled hair.

he has absolutely zero clue what haruki has been saying for the past few moments, evident in the rising worry seeping through haruki’s usually calm, energetic, happy voice. “love, i need you to breathe,” he coos, and a’dewah hisses, lungs not working with him no matter how much he wants to listen, his wanting finally turning on its head. “here; listen to me. follow, please, i can’t help you if you hyperventilate.”

he’s extremely glad past him had the forethought to tell haruki a bit about how he deals with scared patients, because he remembers to murmur in, breath deep, out, breathe out, and even though a’dewah chokes on his own air he can catch up. i’m here, i’m here, haruki hisses between breaths, and hells open, heavens weep, if he wasn’t already crying his dedication to making sure he’s alright rather than listening and cutting the call would have made him weep.

“hey, sh-sh-sh,” haruki coos once a’dewah’s breaths sound less like desperate gasps for air and more like struggling to breath past the fat tears streaming down his face. “i won’t leave you alone, you can pretend i’m there next to you until you can actually lie down next to me again.”

but you know i’m no good at playing pretend. he can’t believe himself, sobbing and wrapping himself further under his blanket and letting the fluffy, stuffy feeling wrap around him in some poor facsimile of being hugged. nothing here could possibly measure up to the feeling he so desperately craves, even though it’s just being in haruki’s arms. all he really wants is a hug. imagine that.

gods, it must be killing haruki to listen to a’dewah sob like he’s dying—he’s never going to tell haruki that he actually died, a bolt of ice piercing through his chest and suzaku’s feather on a staff he had no access trying to save him once more—and he has half a mind to cut the connection between linkpearls just to save one of them from being in pain but his arm makes the executive decision to try and rip his hair out instead. he almost never has control over himself when he’s blubbering, so he’s not so much surprised as he is sickened by his lack of restraint.

“i—” he chokes on the words, a hiccuping gasp shocking both of them. “i’m s-orry, i didn’t mean t’ pull you back from sleeping.”

his chest feels like there’s a thousand ponze weight crushing it down into dust, his emotions becoming too much like they always do, inevitably. in a better universe, maybe he would have had the restraint to let haruki go to sleep first, cut the call, and be miserable on his own until wyda came back, or duscha decided to return because he somehow always knew when he’d break down next. so did krile. maybe there’s just something innately motherly about scholars when it comes to their younger peers (was krile older than him?).

“i wasn’t meaning to pass out then and there, dewah, but i’m sorry for making you think i was going to leave you hanging like that.” haruki makes a little noise that sounds like oh dear, followed by the quiet ripping of fabric. did he clench his sheets so hard his nails tore into them? “i had a feeling something was wrong from the moment you said you called because you had time.”

well then. isn’t that a bit embarrassing, to be found out from the beginning. “i shouldn’t have called.”

“but you did, and i’m very glad for it,” haruki answers honestly, and a’dewah can imagine him sitting, a little hunched over and relieved, eyes half-lidded and foggy with sleep, because he’s always been one to work himself down to the bone and pass out, and a’dewah’s been keeping him up for stupid reasons, this time. “you deserve to feel okay, and i don’t mind losing a lil sleep over it.”

a’dewah doesn’t deserve anything, really, but he’ll take what haruki gives just because he doesn’t want to be rude when he’s offering support so kindly. even if it’s exactly what he’s craving—comfort. haruki knows him too well and one day it’s going to get him killed, either from heartbreak when a’dewah screws up for the last time or from actual danger when a’dewah gets the haganes in trouble by being a public figure with a very peculiar lover and an adorable nephew that also happen to be related to another warrior of light.

“ruki, go to bed.” he curls up into his pillow, poking his head through a hole in the tangles of the blanket to breathe. he’ll just stay up until his stomach rights itself and the sickening dread-guilt sets in, something more comfortable than panic and safer than feeling content, because when he wakes up he absolutely won’t be okay no matter what.

“no, dewah, i think i won’t go to bed if you don’t too."

fuck, please don’t start this. “i—no, ruki, you can’t stay up on account of me being emotional, i’ll be—”

haruki scoffs, though more at the stifling tension and the lie than at a’dewah himself. “fine? please don’t lie to me. don’t close off again.”

“b-but… it’s not fair to you,” he croaks out, finally, throat raspy and dry. “to keep asking you to care for me when i break down. you—you’re not supposed to constantly have to listen to me cry, not when it hurts both of us because listening to someone you love in pain is horrible, horrible work.” he had experience with listening—watching over someone as they writhed in pain and knowing there was nothing he could do but watch if he didn’t want to harm them. he’d done it a thousand times before, and would do so a thousand more so long as the world needed heroes and wars. walking around amaurot besides hanami and zaya nearly tore his heart in two because no matter how afraid of them he might be they were suffering the whole time and even when he was pulled from the rift by g’raha and could heal again he couldn’t stop their pain as they all valiantly fought emet-selch. “let me just be fine, let me learn to take care of myself.”

he doesn’t want haruki to have to care for someone broken as him when the dirty work could easily be done by himself. he might be a caretaker by—not by nature, but by experience —but even the most stalwart caretakers have their limits and by nophica’s grace he does not want to be the straw that breaks haruki’s back. if haruki ever got tired of him, because everyone gets tired of a stubborn crybaby eventually no matter how much they love the person they can be, he wouldn’t know what to do. he’s too reliant, acting like a child when really he’s an adult, and it isn’t healthy for either of them to be like this.

a’dewah doesn’t want to leave but if his solar flares of emotions are hurting haruki he’d rather jump into the ocean and be extinguished forever instead.

“well, most people learn best by example. breathe,” haruki says, quiet even as the storm outside his home rages. he takes as deep a breath as he can, listening to haruki breathe with him. “can you name one person, besides me, all of balefire, and the scions, that has shown you how to care for yourself?”

haruki leaves him in strenuous silence as he thinks, still there but waiting. he almost says my parents, but the last time he saw them was when he was eight, long since buried and he’s nearly thirty-six now—and really, did the nunh of any tribe really care for his sons past their strength, of which he had none because khebica said he’d inherited their mother’s love for the elements. mahja and tahja were too busy trying not to be a burden for him, atoh and vahno were both too young and needed to be cared for first, khebica was taught to care for herself first after what happened to her, and he was the only one castrum fluminis wanted anyhow and they nearly broke him before he was eighteen so who else? tsukiko was still too afraid of yudai, louisoix had so many others to look for first, e-sumi-yan didn’t even know—

“...i. i don’t know,” he says, and the revelation nearly shatters him. even among the people haruki had him exclude, he’d only just started letting them fuss about his wellbeing, except... “you might—you were the first. for a while, the only person i let try. you were just too—too...”

“persistent? thank you, it’s one of my strengths,” he says, a smile leaking through the crackling connection that makes a’dewah’s chest stutter in its rise and fall. “and besides, when i first saw you in that rice paddy i seriously got worried ‘cause i saw kotone almost drown there that same day. you were so much shorter, too.”

“ hey, i w-wasn’t that short then.”

“were too. anyways, you kinda proved my point. let me help, because i want to, and i’m sure you’ll be able to do it on your own soon. i want you to get better,” haruki promises, and the words a’dewah turns over in his head have a cool warmth to them, like diving into the one river in summer. something distinct, grounding. loving. “and if it means i have to share your pain, so be it. i can take a fair amount.”

great; he’s going to cry again, all because haruki loves him too damn much and he doesn’t know how to deal with it all, an ocean’s worth of devotion and promises poured into his hands and leaking through his fingers.

“i—i did warn you that this stuff is horrible, right? i don’t want you to get hurt from my issues,” a’dewah murmurs, hands grasping uselessly at his cardigan’s sleeves and fingers cramping from it all.

“yeah, and? it’s you. there’s not a lot that can keep me from helping you, save this damned soul-ghost situation. no matter what comes up, you’re stuck with me for the near future.”

a shaky breath on both sides, trying to survive the last few tremors of a’dewah’s fragile temperament. fabric rustling on haruki’s end; good, he must be tucking himself back under the covers, albeit gingerly. the guilt might eat at him later, if haruki says he didn’t sleep well, but for now the weirdly soothing thought of you’re stuck with me smooths the prickly bits in his chest back down.

“i have an idea.” haruki shifts, horn with his linkpearl brushing against his pillow. maybe he’s looking out the window, or looking out his door to check if he’d woken someone up in talking sense back into a’dewah. “we can keep the connection open ‘til morning; i’ve got aether to spare and you’ve even more than i do, right? it’ll be kinda like waking up next to each other,” haruki says soothingly, even though it won’t be like he says because a’dewah won’t be able to turn over and laugh at haruki’s bedhead, won’t be able to lazily pull haruki’s arm over his shoulders and feel safe. “we’ve got similar sleep schedules. it shouldn’t be too hard compared to saving the world.”

“i—i know what you mean, but…” what if when i wake up hearing your voice but not seeing you beside me just makes it worse, he would say if he had the guts, but all of those had jumped out the window with common sense when he made this damned call.

and yet haruki just knows him too well and answers anyways. “hey, it’ll be fine. think of it this way; part of me is always thinking about you, even if i don’t realize it, so just think of me,” haruki says, and a’dewah already knows where he’s going with this but isn’t that a thing they all reserve for mune, who is starting to grow up faster than they can keep up with? “and i’ll be there with you, always, because i trust you with my heart—and if that isn’t enough, i’m still just a call away, right?”

“r-right,” a’dewah whispers back, eyes brimming this time not with pained tears but happy ones, not even knowing how much he needed that little bit of permission until now. his heart is finally settling, after three or four nights of restless searching, restless wanting , simmering quietly in its proper place rather than leaving him hollow and melting. “and... i trust you with mine.”

neither of them have to say it, but even with the rain pouring down by haruki’s window and the winds outside a’dewah’s the silence coming over the linkpearl finally feels calm.

haruki’s next yawn is loud, and a’dewah can hear the tension melt from his voice like frost in spring and silver dew from plants in summer. “d’you think you can sleep now? or… should i serenade—”

his voice is utterly wrecked, but he somehow manages to yowl, “i can sleep fine!”

haruki’s bubbling laughter rises with the thunder outside his house, filling a’dewah with liquid gold warmth—not molten, but soothing, comforting, home. no longer threatening to melt him from the inside out but strengthening, and he can feel himself blushing at the thought of warm hugs just like this even though it’s not all that much, in the grand scheme of things.

when both of them manage to calm down—haruki from his ever bubbling joy and a’dewah from his constant state of embarrassment when it comes to haruki—it’s not too much for a’dewah to rub his eyes one last time and simmer in the dark warmth sitting further inside his chest, no longer threatening to overtake him for now. not bright, like his magic and the light and the harsh sun. dark, like the sunless sea and the stars and shooting stars overlapping, even if two of those things aren’t quite dark.

for someone proficient in white magic, it feels safer in the dark than the light.

“i miss you,” he whispers even though he has a feeling haruki found a way to laugh himself to sleep—oh, no, his breath hitches when a’dewah hiccups in an ugly croak, gods why does haruki find him attractive despite all of this—thinking of teals and oranges and fireflies that light up the white scales lining haruki’s jawline. “and i think i always will, a little bit. i want to be yours forever.”

there, he’s said it; i want. the simmering, unknown dark cools off, no longer warbling his voice, and his eyes start to feel heavy as adrenaline bubbles away.

“i could say the same, dewah,” haruki whispers back, words fraying as a’dewah’s past few days of running catch up to him, finally. “i miss you too, but you’ll be back soon, so for now? sleep tight.”

and he does, the tinny sounds of haruki’s breathing evening out lulling him to his dreams where he isn’t so far away from home.

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #seaswolchallenge #a'dewah tia #haruki #s: sitting in a persimmon tree #my writing #hey so im sorry for emotional damages?#but if i have to be cursed by the inevitable linkpearl idea so do you #luckily! there's gonna be a fluffy/crack/joke fic version. do with that info what you will >:3 #tales from the blue

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rainandhotchocolate · 5 years

Text

Tutors Pet - Part 3

A/N Part 1-2 on my profile! Praying that this shows up in tags so I’m not sad and think everyone hates my writing :’( (I joke I promise) - anyways sorry for taking so long, the new year has so far been a bit of a process for me, but I’m hopefully back back now! This didn’t go at all the way I had planned lel so I hope it still works, anyway enjoy :)

It was the little things. The little touches under the table at breakfast, grazing her thigh in the Three Broomsticks, brushing hands in their now shared potions class. The hushed kisses in empty hallways and behind secret passageways (that Sirius and James had shown them, very unnecessarily in the middle of the night under an invisibility cloak that was far too small for 4 teenagers) were definitive perks of dating Lily Evans.

Unfortunately, this very moment was not so much. Y/N watched sourly as Lily chatted animatedly to a boy who was clearly infatuated with her, I mean who wouldn’t she thought gruffly to herself, a little annoyed at her great taste in girls. As much as she knew there was absolutely no reason to be jealous, she could still feel her chest tightening as he casually grazed her arm. If she could just walk over there, sling an arm over her shoulder and kiss her on the cheek, just obnoxiously enough for him to be a little- Lily swung around to look at Y/N and broke her train of thought as she moved to face her breakfast again, avoiding Lily’s bright green stare.

“Smooth moves, Y/L/N” Lily suddenly whispered from behind her before joining Y/N at the Gryffindor table.

“I try” Y/N grumbled, desperately trying to hide her blushing face.

“Not spying on me are you” Lily raised an eyebrow, picking up two slices of taste and a dollop of jam.

“Not spying…just watching” Y/N groaned, “creepily, from afar”

“At least you’re honest” Lily chuckled loudly, “He wasn’t asking me out you know”

“I know, I’m sorry. I just, sometimes hate having to hide… use you know”

Lily grinned, sighing as she took a bite of toast. The hall around them was buzzing, filled with people all getting extremely excited for the holidays. The Hufflepuffs currently had a long ball of string hovering in the air and was knitting a long yellow and black Christmas scarf to wrap around the entrance to the kitchen, as per last year and the Slytherin’s were sending paper airplanes into the biggest holes in the scarf.

“I know, but you know it-“

“Makes sense for now, especially with people disappearing, I know I know” Y/N recited, if only a little bit sarcastic. Lily smiled at her all the same and poked her cheek as Y/N chewed on her cereal.

“Look, how about we go have a proper date this weekend – just the two of us” Lily looked down at her, pouting a little.

“Don’t you have Prefect duties all weekend?”

“Oh shoot” Lily bit her lip, turning back to her toast. Y/N felt a little dip in her stomach as she tried to hide her disappointment.

“It’s ok we-“

“No, it’s not ok! I can’t believe we haven’t had a proper date, just the two of us, not pretending to be out with the boys so we can hold hands without anyone noticing this is stupid. Let me just, hang on, gimme like 3 hours ok?” She grinned broadly, squeezed Y/N’s hand and jumped out of her seat, heading out of the Great Hall.

Y/N didn’t see Lily for the rest of the day, she sat wondering what was going on as Professor Binns droned on and on about something regarding the elfish wars in the 1800s.

“What are you doodling there, missy” Louisa Prette whispered next to her, winking suggestively. Y/N tried to hold back a grin, but Louisa had a way of getting under her skin and stopping her sulking.

“Nothing in particular” Y/N mumbled, trying to pull it away as Binns floated around the room and near her seats. Lousia managed to wrangle it out of her hand and made a soft squealing noise.

“Don’t tell me, Y/N’s finally got a lil crush?” Lousia grinned broadly, “WHY would you not tell me! You know I’ve been waiting to pass down my wisdom”

“What from your one date with Xavier McLaggen? I would have thought that would be more about what not to do”

“I have plenty of experience, missy, now tell me tell me tell-“

“Was there something more important to discuss Miss Prette” Professor Binns drawled slowly, staring at her absently whilst the whole class suddenly sat up from his change of pace.

“Nothing could ever be more interesting than you Professor Binns” Louisa smiled broadly, her teeth practically glistening with the amount of sarcasm dripping from her words.

“Mmmm” Professor Binns looked like he would glare if he really could but continued to glide onwards and around the classroom.

“Ok, now- spill” Lousia leaned in eagerly and grinned at her. When Y/N said nothing Lousia began to nudge her obnoxiously, “I know I’m annoying but it’s for your own good, you bottle everything up too much, gal”

“I don’t bottle things up, I talk the appropriate amount t”

“Yeah says the girl I had to ASK for her to tell me about her first kiss! Who doesn’t tell their best friend about their first kiss?”

“It didn’t come up in conversation!” Y/N said exasperatedly, feeling increasingly embarrassed.

“Stop changing the subject, so, who’s the guy?” Louisa finally asked the dreaded question. Who’s the guy. Y/N couldn’t blame her, her first kiss was with a guy, her first crush was a guy (well what she thought was a crush but was actually just a guy being nice to her), and Y/N had never indicated otherwise. But there was still a little part of her that wanted slap her for not magically presuming otherwise, or perhaps magically destroying the internal bigotry against anyone not heterosexual. Potentially too much to ask in one best friend.

“Hello, Y/N?”

“Right sorry, zoned out” Y/N smiled, “not much to say really… I mean don’t want to jinx it”

“Ugh, so paranoid” Louisa scoffed, a little too loudly and covered it over with some wild coughing (much to Professor Binns continued annoyance), “But I get it, you want him allll to yourself for a little bit huh”

“Something like that” Y/N smiled and went back to pretending to write notes to stop her from pestering anymore. The more she wrote down random elfish sounding names the more she couldn’t stop herself from feeling more and more self-conscious. There was something about the whispers between everyone in every corner of the room that made her feel like they could only be talking about her, that there was something wrong with her, that she wasn’t normal.

“Y/N, class has ended, you can stop making up baby names” Louisa winked and shoved her lightly to go and grab her books and finally leave the classroom. The buzz of the end of the day was increasing every day the Christmas holidays got closer. There was a chill in the air that could very easily be fixed by the warm mugs of hot chocolate and pumpkin juice was served at every meal and glistening lights that looked like snow falling in the sky above the Great Hall. Y/N, however, was not so hungry and gave a lame excuse of going to the library before skulking off and back up towards the common room.

She wandered slowly, wondering why she couldn’t just stand tall like Lily does and not care about what people say or don’t say. Where was she anyway? Running around with her – shut up Y/N. She internally cursed herself for getting so negative. She looked up and realised she’d reached a part of the castle she hadn’t really explored yet. It was dark, and there were multiple knights in armour standing around large metal doors. She stood momentarily watching them as they began to creak and she heard the unmistakable sounds of someone trying to wrench them open.

“…there isn’t much time left until he’ll call us in you know”

“It’s only a matter of time”

Voices came from the door as it pulled open and Y/N came face to face with three large and vaguely recognisable Slytherin boys. One had long blonde hair and a pointy nose, Y/N had remembered him from the Slytherin Quidditch team, a beater and very fast, the other two both had dark brown hair, one long and un-showered, and the other clearly well showered and a subtly handsome.

“Who’s this, listening in” The blonde one growled, leering down at her. Y/N gaped suddenly, feeling very much like a fish but was interrupted before she got any noise out.

“You know exactly who this is” The more handsome one grinned, flashing scarily white teeth, “The youngest of the Black clan, Regulus’ sister. Don’t you remember her hexing you into St.Mungos last Christmas?”

“Of course! I wonder what she’s doing here, not trying to catch an earful I hope” The blonde continued to leer. Y/N had a sudden flashback of a very rash decision to point and shoot out a string of hexes at her mum’s favourite friends’ sons all lined up for her, leering down at her very uncomfortably tight dress as the blonde boy was doing now.

“Perhaps she needs a little lesson in manners” The slimier one finally chimed in, still standing behind the other two but somehow seeming the most menacing.

“I think you’re right” She saw a smile and then she was suddenly unable to see.

Taglist: @maraudersandco @northscorpio @seesaw-it @lustfulcry @depressedcoffeebean @supercuteasalily @palaisdecouture @blackpinkdolan @fashionlive15 @creepysweet

#Marauders #lily evans x you #lily evans x reader #lily evans imagine #Lily Evans #lily evans fanfiction #marauder #Marauders RP #marauders imagine #marauders fic #rainandhotchocolate

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sparklingichigo · 3 years

Text

BEACH VACATION

Part 12

That evening, Ichigo goes to Asmo’s room to join him in his jacuzzi, she’s there with her swimsuit on and wearing a bathrobe to cover up. She also bought her regular clothes to change after that warm bath.

Asmo: Oh hey, darling, ready for our spa trip?

Ichigo: Ready as I ever be, Asmo

Asmo: Come in, come in. Don’t mind Solomon, we were just finished with our session^^

Ichigo: O-oh... I see

Asmo: Let’s go! I already have the stuff ready for you. Strawberry scented candles your favorite, I also ordered some macaroons for your snack, oh, I also have the masks as always. Just make yourself at home, love

Ichigo: Thanks a lot Asmo, you’re really a good friend.

Asmo: Of course I am, stress is bad for your skin, we don’t want wrinkles on that gorgeous face now do we?

Ichigo: true... shall we get started?

Asmo: Let’s go!

Asmo and Ichigo enter the warm jacuzzi turns out the Jacuzzi doesn’t fit three people just two so Asmo did one with Solomon and did another one with Ichigo.

Asmo: Now tell me, what’s stressing you out, I’ll listen

Solomon: I will to, spill the tea sis

Ichigo: Well besides what I told you... I guess I’m just very sensitive especially about my friends having a heartbreak, you remember what happened when you and Solomon had a fight right?

Asmo: Oh those good times, darling, you’re so daring. But yes, Satan tends to be as smooth as butter at times then turns into a raging demon.

Solomon: it’s raging ball of chaos, babe

Asmo: Shush! But that’s Satan for you, he masks his emotions quite well honestly so seeing him going all out with his rage is very surprising.

Ichigo: Well for one, it stressed both me and Reika since we both live in such a household back then and two, Reika’s ex also pays for her stuff on their very first day of relationship. That’s why I’m very concern.

Asmo: Then may I know why they broke it off?

Ichigo: Because that guy cheated on her...

Asmo: There it is, darling, Satan is very loyal, don’t worry. He won’t do Reika dirty. Now cheer up, have some macaroons, it’s your favorite flavor.

Solomon: can I have some too?

Asmo: You’ve had yours! Stop trying to steal Ichigo’s share!

Solomon: Alright, alright, enjoy your spa date, love. I’m going out.

Asmo: Wait, why?

Solomon: Lucifer and Diavolo summoned me yet again, it’s probably to ask why Ichigo was crying and to everyone I’m the most sus b*tch!

Asmo: Oh, well good luck darling, you’re innocent after all, obviously not the reason why our baby starts crying.

Solomon: Are we adopting Ichigo now?

Asmo: If it’s possible~

Ichigo: [laughs slightly] Asmo...

Asmo: Oh there it is! Her cute laugh, off you go then, she’s back to her cheerful self~

Meanwhile in the twins bedroom, Beel and Belphie are having a whole conversation about what happened.

Belphie: That blonde son of a b*tch did what?!

Beel: Belphie, don’t do anything rash, we’re on vacation remember?

Belphie: Yeah, and he has the audacity to stress out both mcs! He’s gonna get it when we’re home, I swear to Diavolo

Beel: [sigh] just eat your meal... before I start eating them

Belphie: Fine...

Suddenly Beel hears a knock at the door, he goes to that door and opens it finding Levi there.

Beel: Oh hey, Levi, why are you here?

Levi: Can I sleep here for a while? I don’t want to room with that raging ball of chaos for a while

Beel: You sure?

Levi: Totally, we can watch TSL together if you want

Belphie: Just not on my bed please

Levi: I’ll sleep at the sofa!

Beel: Deal.

Levi gets in and joins the twins. The three of them starts talking about so many things until another knocks shocked them.

Levi: I swear if it’s that blonde normie I’ll spit on his f*ckin face and no one is stopping me!

Mammon: Geez! Open up!!

Finally Levi opens the door and finds Mammon outside the door

Levi: Why are you here?

Mammon: I’m bored, Asmo wouldn’t let me in and so does Reika. Let me hang with you guys!

Levi: Fine, come in..

Once he’s in all four of them turned even more bored, well not Levi he has his nintendo switch around.

Beel: I miss Ichigo...

Belphie: We know

Mammon: I do too

Beel: ...

Belphie : ...

Levi : ....

Mammon: In the most friendly way possible? Cause she’s fun and always have ideas for stuff to do when we’re bored?

Beel: and a good cook~

Belphie: help, my twin is simping-

Levi: Who wouldn’t simp for her? Well not me but-

Belphie: Satan, Lucifer, Lord Diavolo, the angels, I can sense Barbatos simping for her but we’re not ready for that are we-

Mammon: What?! Even Barbatos?!

Levi: True... She’s the most understanding girl I’ve ever met~ in a friendly way of course-

Beel: Yeah and the most supportive one too~

Belphie: And very fluffy~

Mammon: Wha-

Belphie: Her chest is very fluffy, I tell you

Levi: What the f*ck?! Belphie, you pervert! [smacks him with a pillow]

Belphie: Hey! I’m telling the truth! Beel is one lucky demon if you ask- oof!

Mammon: Ha! Serves you right!

Another knock can be heard and this time Mammon opens it

Mammon: who are ya and what do ya want?!

Reika: Can I join you guys? I have uno cards :D

Levi: Who is it Mammon?

Mammon: It’s Reika

Levi: Let her in! This room is anti-satan though

Belphie: Can I just laugh for a second, the anti-satan club is more popular than the anti-lucifer club.

Levi: OMD LMFAO That’s so true!

Reika: Anti-satan?

Mammon: Yeah, just us insulting him, call it a uno reverse card.

Reika: But he’s not that bad...

Mammon: Okay, I may be stupid as f*ck, but as you said he’s stressing you out and now he’s acting like your ex. Can’t you not see? No, this isn't me simping for ya human, I’m just telling this based on what Ichigo had said and how it applies in real life.

Reika: Can I still join in?

Mammon: Sure, the room is always open, human

All five of them end up in the room and end up playing Uno with Reika. Meanwhile in Lucifer’s and Diavolo’s room the two are questioning Solomon.

Solomon: in all honesty, I did nothing to Ichigo, I swear! To...Simeon!

Diavolo: I see, well Asmo did tell us it was Satan but what exactly happened?

Solomon: It’s quite personal, sir... I don’t know if I can tell you

Lucifer: Then I might have to peteranate your mind, is that okay?

Solomon: If it necessary

Lucifer: Good

Lucifer penetrates Solomon’s mind and see through his memories, everything that happened at the gym, at the restaurant at the cafe, Asmo scolding everyone not to stare at them, Ichigo being angry at Satan, everything.

Lucifer: I see, so it is indeed my son’s fault. Thank you for coming to my room, you may leave

Solomon: By the way, Lord Diavolo, Ichigo bought that cheesecake knowing how much you love them, hope you enjoy them, sir.

Diavolo: Send my regards then^^

Solomon: Will do!

Solomon returns to his room and finds his boyfriend and Ichigo placing face mask at each other, totally having fun.

Solomon: Cheering up yet my 702nd concubine?

Ichigo: I never agreed to that!

Asmo: Well I won’t mind but Beel does

Ichigo: Beel? What about him?

Asmo: Oh darling, you sweet innocent strawberry~

Solomon: [holds down his laugh] Anyways, Diavolo said thank you for the cake.

Ichigo: I’m glad^^ Well since I’m kinda a chef in his castle a.k.a Barbatos’s kitchen assistant I end up caring for him too.

Asmo: That’s nice to hear, you’re adapting quite well in devildom are you?

Ichigo: You can say that.

Suddenly all three of them hear a knock at the door, of course Solomon answers it and finds Satan instead. Solomon scoffs at this,

Solomon: What do you want?

Satan: Is Ichigo here? I want to apologize...

Solomon: Huh, quite rare but sure...

Asmo: Darling, if it’s that blonde b*tch, don’t let him in! We’ll be out soon

Solomon: Sorry, my boyfriend says no, Ichigo will meet you soon, have a nice evening!

Solomon closes the door to Satan’s nose and returns to them.

Solomon: Well he wants to apologize for what he did

Ichigo: I guess, Imma have a protective lil sis mode now

Asmo: Go roast him, darling~

Solomon: Babe, that’s gonna make it worse

Asmo: For once he needs to know his place, just because he can get a girlfriend doesn’t mean he’s on a damn pedestal!

Ichigo finally gets out and meets Satan,

Ichigo: What do you want?

Satan: Can we talk?

Ichigo: Do it here, I’m not going somewhere alone with someone like you.

Satan: Fine, I want to apologize for what I did, I’m sorry for “acting” like Reika’s ex and I’m sorry for concerning you about our relationship.

Ichigo: Anything else?

Satan: [sigh] and I’m sorry that I’m a raging ball of chaos

Ichigo: Apology... still on pending. I don’t want words, I want actions. Of course I do give you my blessings but you’re now back to the test. So I suggest start fixing yourself and try to get my blessings. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a skincare session to do.

Ichigo goes back in and returns to Asmo,

Asmo: How did it go?

Ichigo: Well I can’t forgive him instantly, I want to see prove of what he said...

Solomon: She did that to me too, help-

Ichigo: But since you two are so unloyal to each other guess I’ll let it slide. But Reika is full of insecurities and has been hurt a lot of times, I want that ex to be the last time she gets hurt.

Asmo: I understand darling, we all want that too. I hope this doesn’t stress you out much. But you know what’s more juicy?

Ichigo: What?

Asmo: On why is MY SECOND YOUNGEST BROTHER LEADING YOU ON?!

Ichigo: What?

Asmo: That man is simping for you and he hasn’t confess?! Is he what? Some kind of coward?!

Solomon: Oh my Simeon, babe chill!

Asmo: I’m sorry, love, I might go a bit overboard but at this point Beel should’ve already confess by now or ask her to be his girlfriend. They are both acting like lovers yet-

Solomon: I know, babe, I know...

Ichigo: Asmo...does he by chance...not like me? [insecure Ichigo noises]

Asmo: Oh darling, he does like you, maybe more than like. We might even consider it love.

Suddenly they hear a spiritual song beside them and here comes Simeon and Luke.

Simeon: Hey, ready for your praying session?

Ichigo: Oh my Goodness! I’m late am I?

Simeon: Not at all, child. I’m sorry Asmo but can I have her now for her praying session

Asmo: Of course, the mask stays though, it needs a 3 hours rest on her face.

Simeon: I see, that’s alright. Come, child

Ichigo accepts Simeon’s hand and off she go to heaven, eventually Asmo’s facemask disappears as soon as she’s there.

Luke: Welcome to heaven!

Ichigo: It’s beautiful!

Simeon: Come, my room is this way

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paw-patrol-kiddo · 6 years

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2017 for my regressive side

Well guys, this is it; we’re really already at the end of 2017! Hard to believe, ain’t it? Well, I normally don’t do year review thingies, bu’ I figured I should probably do one this year, mostly cause this year’s been the best out of all the years of my life- and that’s saying a lot. I mostly wanna cover what this year has held for my regressive side, also with bits of stuff that happened in my big girl life!

If ya want, I’d love if ya made one of these posts about what this year held for your regressive side and you tagged me in it! Chances are, I’ll be reading it and replying very quickly!

Anyways, time for the year review! It begins below the cut!

This year’s held a lot of things for my regressive side; a lot more than the previous years. I’m going to try and cover everything, for every month of the year!

January held my fifteenth birthday and also marked four years since I started liking diapers nonstop again, which ultimately led to me beginning to age regress. I discovered that it seems my regressive side is most active this month, something that’s really helpful to know for obvious reasons. I attempted to indulge in my regressive side discreetly to cope with stress, as I was still hiding this whole thing at the time and seldom spoke about it to Kaiya, my younger sister. I also remember that the month before, I stopped identifying as a chireb, and was trying to find a new label for myself, but was failing. This was frustrating to me.

I don’t really remember a whole lot about February! Not much that I can note, that is. Thinking about it, this month is kinda a blurry, confusing mess if that says anything; I just can’t remember a whole lot from it! I think either this month or the month after was when I gave up on finding a label and just settled on the generic age regressor term.

March held quite a bit of things for my big girl side; I began playing baseball, got my own room at last, and mourned the loss of a big part of my preteen and early teenagehood when Club Penguin shut down. Even with more privacy for my regressive side and my life in general, I mostly forgot about my regressive side around this time and moved on with my life.

April doesn’t hold a lot of notable things for agere, either. I do know that starting four months before, I started feeling other ages in my identity (I feel all the ages I regress to in my identity. Like, I feel like them and at times, that for example, I’m a 7-year-old trapped in a teenager’s body. It’s not a fun feeling) and I accepted two without a problem (10 and 11), but I continued to deny and push aside another age I felt, thinking it seemed too young. After all, I was content with my youngest being two-years-old; or so I thought.

I wanna say May started getting a bit tough. As the spring season of baseball drew closer to the end, of course, my regressive side began trying to rise from the depths. The little girl inside me wanted attention and more space. She couldn’t keep sitting back and hiding forever.

The most I could do for my little self was watch toddler and little kid shows in private, play with my toys, play children’s games online, and color. Not a whole lot, clearly, and I was still self-conscious of a lot of this. I am sure this is the time where I began feeling trapped regarding all of this.

June began to show signs of easier times. Baseball finally ended for the summer, which of course, led to the “Well dang; what am I gonna do with my life til the fall season?” moment. My regressive side, of course, took the wheel for most of the summer at this point. Hiding this was becoming very hard; I had to find some way to cope, some way to be open, anything. My little side could hardly take it anymore; this month or the next month marked four years since she first stepped into my life and you can only hide yourself for so long before it becomes too much (I had been making an effort to hide for a year or two before then).

Towards the end of the month, I finally reluctantly accepted the fact I seemed to regress to age 1 and 4 days later, I finally gathered the courage to make this blog, something I had thought about for a year, but could never do it. I told myself if I regretted it, I could just delete it, no problem; that was what I was expecting I’d end up doing.

But instead, with a place I could be little, the trapped feeling began to ease. I was scared, of course, but also relieved and very happy. In fact, I was so happy that when I went to the bathroom shortly after a brief flood-reblog, I had to happy stim for a minute or two before I could actually do what I came in there for. I gave Mom and Kaiya the link to this blog. I’m sure making this blog is one of the best decisions I’ve made this year- and I’ve made a lot.

Making the blog reminded of my love for diapers, which brought back a memory of when Mom sneakily bought some for me the summer before. Talking about it here was really hard at first and took a lot of courage, but if you can’t tell, I can do it without flinching or hesitating now. After a quick chat with Mom, I decided at last, I’d finally try them whenever Dad left the house for a few hours (shout-out to the anon who sent that ask after I posted about it, you’re amazing and I hope you had a wonderful year. We need more people like you. Also, I started happy stimming when I reread the ask before linking it here).

Also, I rediscovered Small Elephant (I received the lil guy as a gift a year before and played with him once, but never got too attached to him) around this time and idk what exactly happened or how it did, but apparently, I ended up attached to him and I still am. He’s my lil vacation/severe weather evacuation buddy now.

July was a blast! I finally tried out my diapers shortly after Dad left to help out at a vape and tattoo shop he volunteers at and by the time I finally changed out of my first diaper, I had officially decided I was wearing them for the rest of my life (not as in 24/7, but... I’m sure ya know what I mean). The only problem is that because I was used to seeing what all the a/b/d/l community advertised, I ended up developing a rash the second time I wore and had to learn how to take care of myself properly mostly by myself with the occasional help from Mom and the internet (and literally now is when I see everyone from that community talking about the proper way to do things...).

The day I tried diapers out, I tried out regressing to age 1 to see how I’d like it and well, the rest is history. ;)

Kai relearned of the diapers this month (read it once somewhere on my blog according to Mom, then I had to tell her about a sample pack on the way, and then Mom had to have a conversation with her about it in the car when they were the only ones in there) and said she was cool with it and briefly even began joking about the whole age regression thing (in a friendly way, mind you).

I told Kim, my older sister, about my regression, and she took it wonderfully, of course. I also told a friend of mine about my regression and liking of diapers, who also took it just fine and showed a lot of support for it.

I began to indulge more and more into this and I even had a friend who also age regressed by the end of this month (Rayyyyyyy~).

I went to Florida with Mama, Kai, and a former (? I don’t even know anymore, honestly) friend of Mama’s and it held some interesting adventures there, too! I took Small Elephant places, regressed at the beach twice (@ Kai, psst. Remember when I trapped you in that hug and almost sunk us into the ocean? Well, there’s your reason why), got a Winnie the Pooh book from Goodwill, and indulged in some tasty smiley fries one afternoon! Clearly, this month is one of the best for my age regression. The little girl inside was happy; I was no longer feeling trapped.

August was pretty wild. Small Elephant came with me to Georgia; I don’t think he got to come along on any adventures outdoors, however. I got a jack-in-the-box style toy with a mama kangaroo and her baby joey inside. I also regressed at some point at our cabin and enjoyed running around outside just before a storm blew through. Mom chose to tell someone about my age regression without my permission (talk about a thought to occupy yourself down the lengthy lazy river) and thankfully, that person was fine with it. I was thinking about telling her not too long before, funny enough. I’d prefer permission and a warning before telling someone, though, aha.

I got two “0+ months” pacifiers that month from Mom and literally spent 2 hours sucking on them, save for when I briefly stopped to switch; needless to say, my TMJ relapsed very quickly after around six months of absence of symptoms, aha.

My ex broke up with me (I got with him back in May), despite promising that no breakup would happen 3 days before. This was mostly a good thing, though; no more worrying about how and when to tell him about the diapers and age regression! I’ve been single since and content with it. The thought of telling my future boyfriend(s) this is terrifying, but maybe he’ll be fine with it. Maybe I’ll even meet someone who also likes diapers (nonsexually, mind you) and age regresses as well! I imagine that’s a once in a blue moon thing, though.

We also told Dad about my regression and he took it fine, something that surprised me, as I was genuinely not expecting it. Mom didn’t tell him a lot and eventually, decided to back off for a bit temporarily after mentioning that I “liked to act like a 7/5-year-old sometimes” and that I liked pacifiers and wanted one (this was after I got mine). According to Mom, he didn’t respond to the pacifiers thing and honestly, it’s still kinda scary (if it’s the no reply I think it is, I got him to do it back in October and it’s really unsettling). I don’t know what it means and I don’t think I want to know. He still doesn’t know about the pacifiers to this day. It’s wild.

September held its own adventures. I finally rediscovered an old bag of Mom’s (I mostly remember it because she had it when I was an ‘’actual’’ toddler) and what’s inside? A baby bottle I held on to for three years from when my parents had me treat Puzzle Piece as if he were a baby, thinking it’d rid of my age regression tendencies (if anything, I think this just fed it tbh). I planned to wash it and perhaps try it out or look into a new one.

This also held a notable visit from my older sister. She was told about my liking of diapers and you probably guessed it, her response was coming to my room (I panicked and ran away while she was on the way to the living room after Mom called her in there), giving me a hug, and saying, “I love and support you no matter what you do”. My sisters are great if you can’t tell, and I also mean that outside of agere.

The night before the diaper reveal, Mom noticed me lying on Kim while she rocked the recliner one evening and Mom offered to rock me someday while Dad was gone, something I accepted pretty quickly. I got Mom to rock me for the first time ever two days later. Mom also told me that Dad was fine with the rocking, hence why I was rocked literally right next to him at some point, and he even said he could rock me someday. I don’t think I could do that, though; age regression related stuff is really hard to do around him, and I’d be too worried about his back (he has a bad back).

That month, the day before the rocking part took place, I finally gathered the courage to actually refer to her as “Mommy” on here, along with “Daddy” for Dad. It honestly feels so good to do. I just find it sad I was so scared to use those words at first thanks to the kink/sters. I refer to those two regularly by those titles, mostly to try and reclaim those words as innocent, pure words I call my parents occasionally, rather than terms that are tainted with reminders of ki/nk. Mommy’s easier to use, because I’m closer to Mom than Dad (as of late, that is), and also because “Mommy” isn’t as corrupted as “Daddy”.

I got a Pooh Bear sleeper the day of my second baseball game of the fall season. It’s soft and it makes me feel like a toddler; the only problem is that it’s so easy to overheat in it (which really sucks because I’m hypersensitive to heat and can’t handle getting really hot) and sleepers take up a lot of room in a dresser.

Oh, and this month, Mom called me a nick name she uses for me quite a bit now; “My baby”. Out of all the nicknames I know, I never thought of that. I still melt when she calls me it tbh.

October was a mix, really. I don’t remember a whole lot involving this, really. Rocked by Mom again, got another sleeper, and witnessed Kaiya prove that she was okay with the whole diaper thing by insisting she was fine with it, actually going to the adult diaper aisle with us at Wal-Mart (she stayed a bit away from us, though), and when the cashier bagged the diapers up, she moved so dang fast and had them hidden in no time. I know this because I watched her load other stuff into the cart and she was much more relaxed. I did see her look into the cart at some point before we went to check-out, so perhaps she memorized what the package looked like so she could hide them? Idk if she remembers it or if she’d even want to talk about it, so... Who knows

Towards the end of the month, something began happening. I don’t know what, but it eventually led to me becoming depressed again for a little while, but we’ll discuss that in a few minutes. I discovered I was so indulged in my regression I actually forgot aspects of myself and chose to take a break for a week the next month. I came back feeling better about agere and somewhat better about myself in general. I still don’t understand what happened, but it hasn’t happened again since. Hopefully, it’ll never happen again.

November was a pretty miserable month for me tbh. Has a few good or at least neutral parts, mostly in the beginning, of course. One of these is that I discovered that I can go so deep into my baby mindset (I refer to my 1-year-old self as a baby for brevity) that I’ll chew on things without a thought and well, perhaps that other part’s a bit tmi. I also finally tried out my bottle one evening; very comforting and relaxing.

In the middle of the month, I struggled with accepting that perhaps I did need meds after all (spoiler: I definitely need them) and stress from this, a fixation on childhood trauma, and chores, which were gradually becoming stressful instead of enjoyable, began building up. I began to fall back into a depression, something I was in denial about the entire time.

It was this time that I noticed I was having a harder time regressing, something that was terrifying to me. I was scared that perhaps my regressive side was going dormant; one of my biggest fears is that I stop regressing for good and I was scared that was what was about to happen. That was, until one night, I had an involuntary episode briefly. I didn’t think much of it and went on with my night as normal once it concluded. I don’t know why I didn’t become concerned; involuntary episodes are rare for me, after all. But then, I thought I was about to have a block, so I guess that’s why I thought nothing of it.

I tried my best to cope with everything, but it was futile. One night, just witnessing the dog we were dog-sitting have an accident and having to take all three by myself while they all cried and tried to get out just made me snap, I guess. I fell deeper into my depression, began craving to be an actual baby/young toddler again for the first time in a couple of years, and briefly began having involuntary regression episodes every night. Wearing a diaper to bed and having Small Elephant with me every night for a couple of nights, drinking from my bottle one night, spending more time with my pacifiers, and easing up on everything I could helped pull me out of it.

I still don’t understand what exactly happened, but I hope it never happens again. Also, I guess this confirms that I have involuntary regression episodes when I’m overly stressed. Hopefully the next time this happens, my regressive side will keep me afloat, like it always has.

December was pretty good! I got rocked again by Mom while I was being bottlefed by her, got a new bottle and a toddler snack, and got more toddler snacks later on that day (again, Kaiya moved them to another bag quickly before Mom gave me the bag with them inside). Dad learned about the bottles and snacks and thankfully, is alright with it. I wish it was the same way with diapers. He still doesn’t know about me wearing diapers behind his back, as you probably guessed, and it will stay that way for a while.

I think I kinda cheated another depressive episode, but? It never came. I was just really grumpy and easily upset for a while, to the point of punching my bed and stomping, which I hardly do (heck, I still am as of right now, but it’s calmed down some). I wish whatever my brain’s doing would stop, because it’s getting rather annoying and I’d rather not spend any longer whining frequently and worrying about getting upset to the point of punching or kicking my closet door off its hinges or something. :’)

Christmas was great; I mostly got big girl gifts (see: My new camera) or at least neutral gifts (see: My stim toys and maybe my Pikachu necklace), but I did get a few things that appealed to my regressive side, like a set of five different Paw Patrol puzzles, a penguin plushie with my name written on its tummy (glitter and everything!), and an Animal Jam playset thing!

To end this year off, I got a sippy cup, one of my most-wanted regression items around that time. Now, if only I could actually bring myself to wash my bottle and sippy cup in the dishwasher (they’re top rack safe)... I guess I can start off the new year washing them after I listen to Bring Me to Life or maybe while I’m listening to it, hee hee hee.

As you can see, I had a pretty wild year full of adventures and experiences! You know what? Why don’t I mention some folks who played a role in making this year the best?

Mom - Mom, I think you know how you’ve helped. You’re literally a big aspect in this post. When I was 12, I thought I’d never have your support about all of this, but now, here we are. You’re my mommy and I’m your baby and I always will be. I love you.

Kai - Sis, I think you see your role here, too. I thought you’d never support me, either, but here we are. Thank you for being cool with the diapers and everything else and always being respectful about it. I love you. Also, sorry for almost drowning us that time

Kim - You don’t get on Tumblr anymore, but I figured you deserved your own spot here, anyways. You haven’t gotten to see a lot, but you’ve still been very supportive of all this. Thank you for being fine with it and loving me for who I am, no matter what I choose to do. I love you. Also, I still can’t get over the fact that you seemed to do so good with little me that one time and you didn’t even know I was regressed at the time and you literally treat me how you treated regressed me all the time, but I still can’t get over it

Ray - You were my first friend who also age regressed. Tbh, I’ve admired ya from afar for like, a year before we started talking, but I was always scared to talk to ya. Thank you for being so supportive, helping me out and offering help for things occasionally. Also, thank you again for the regression moodboard ya made in the past for me! I still think about it a lot, and have looked at it so much that I’m pretty sure I have it ingrained into my brain.

Bug - We haven’t known each other for long, but I wanted to say thank you for taking an interest in me and being my friend. You’re adorable and so sweet (and so is your fursona. I love seeing other people’s fursonas, ahhh). My bumblebee plushie told me to tell you he said hi~

Leah - We haven’t known each other for long, either, but you’ve been so sweet to me the entire time we have. Thank you for the times you’ve checked on me when I didn’t seem to be doing so well. We need more people like you. Honestly, your kindness is goals for me; I’m always wanting to be kind at all times and you’ve got that perfect amount, it seems.

All my other followers - I can’t list all of y’all, so I figured y’all should get your own honorable mention in one go~ Some of you I’ve known almost as long as this blog has been around (6 months!), some of you I’ve only recently gotten to know. I don’t know why y’all followed me, but I appreciate it. Thank y’all for following me, sticking around, and just being all-around cool. Y’all are adorable and lovely and I love y’all (and so is everyone else who got a specific mention. Yes, I love you guys, too).

I think 2017 is the best year for my age regression by far and the best year of my life in general. I’ve learned things, laughed, cried, shook from excitement and fear, grinned, and stimmed in many different ways for many different emotions. I can finally be myself without feeling as much shame. An autistic, ADHD teenage girl who is occasionally in diapers and often feels more like a little girl than a teenager sure is an interesting thing to be, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I don’t know what 2018 could bring, but I am ready for whatever it throws at me, whether it be pie (fun fact: I have never eaten pie before), problems with other people about this, or a pack of diapers.

To all my fellow age regressors, I hope 2018 brings you lots of happiness, acceptance for who you are by others and yourself, and anything you may want for your regressive side, whether it be more toys, a sippy cup, or a lot of marathons for your favorite cartoon/anime/TV show. Even if it’s hard for you right now, it will get easier; I promise.

Happy new year!! Stay little/tiny/smol.

#Chloe babbles #Warning to those who click: Get ready for The Longest Tumblr Post In History #I'm serious. I'm surprised my browser never crashed or froze while I was writing this #Anyways. Thanks to all those who were involved in this year and made it great~#I'm gonna be going quiet for the rest of the evening because this seems like the perfect way and post to end this year on #I'll see y'all next year!!! Get it?? Hee hee hee :3c

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felicityb-reviews · 6 years

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‘90s 5HINee - Feature Spotlight

Hello, babies!! It's Jace (aka Felicity B), and it's our first SHINee Feature Spotlight!! I am so excited to be doing this, because SHINee was literally the second group that I got super attached to (EXO being the first). And, believe it or not, but Jonghyun was my first bias before I fell into Jinki hell. I'm a sucker for the soft leaders, sis...

Era Spotlight

So!! Today's era that we will be pulling songs from is '90s 5HINee!! I wanted to do this era first, because I absolutely love everything about '90s music. I love Funk, I love RnB, I love New Jack Swing, I love Deep House, I love it all!! And SHINee me something of everything from that era. Once again, these Feature Spotlights are not a Best Of™ list or even my favorites from the albums, necessarily, they're songs I think would fit well together. So no getting mad if your fave isn't here!!

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Odd Eye (Odd)

Oh, Odd Eye...

I really wanted to avoid the Fan Favorites™ to the best of my ability (which is kind of impossible, considering how beloved this album is), but I simply couldn't do that with Odd Eye. Yes, everyone and their mother fucking loves Odd Eye, but this song represents the best parts of Odd, to me.

Odd Eye is smoky. She's smouldering, sis. She's SHINee at their sexiest. Odd Eye's beat doesn't really do much, but that's exactly what the doctor ordered. The beat is basic, but it gives SHINee the chance to just... SHINE!! I absolutely had to start this list off with Odd Eye, because a) this is a modern interpretation of a '90s RnB midtempo if I'd ever heard one and b) this song just really shows that SHINee are That Group™, sis. Don't get me wrong, I love when SHINee flame broil my wig with all the bells and whistles, but they are just as arresting and breathtaking as a group without them. When will your faves ever be this iconic?!?!?!?

SHIFT (1of1)

See... I really set myself up for failure here, because I said I was trying to avoid the Fan Favorites™, but two songs in and I've already got two in a row, so... WHAT'S THE TRUTH,SIS?!?!?!!

SHIFT is a banger, baby. SHIFT is Deep House at its finest, baby. Play this song around A N Y O N E, and they'd jam/bop. EVEN JUST A LIL!! SHIFT is that powerful, babe.

The instrumentation in this song is just so lush, sis. I wouldn't call the texture of this song sweet (because we associate sweet textures in music with warmth), but it's similar. Everything about this song is just so easy on ears. The intro is, easily, my favorite part of SHIFT. That arpeggio with the e.piano and harmonies on top?!?!?!

It's fucking magical.

The harmonies in this song are unreal. SHINee showed up to the studio with their A-game the day they recorded this. No other group harmonizes like SHINee does in their music (most groups treat harmonizing like a cute trick for concerts), but they really outdid themselves this time around.

So Amazing (1of1)

So Amazing (the special track that isn't really that special) is a New Jack Swing song with lots of funky elements, which is right up SHINee's ally. Idk why it took SM so long to throw a NJS song at SHINee with 1of1 because they fuckin' killed that shit (I will have nothing of you losers saying it sounds too much like a typical NJS track, that's the fucking point of a throwback), but better late than never, sis.

So Amazing is really nice. It's got a really bright texture, but it's also really warm and easy on the ears. These types of uptempos are usually cheesy af, but a) that's the '90s babe and b) that makes So Amazing a great mood lifter. I can play this on those days that aren't "cry in bed all day", but aren't all that good, either. Plus, I love imagining all the silly dances the SHINee members did to the dance break, cause that horn section is so fun and playful.

Savior (Married to the Music)

It's another Deep House song!! But not quite. She's more Funk n RnB than Deep House, but shh... She's still Deep House in my heart.

The first time I heard Savior, I was little thrown off by the chorus. They sound like they're shouting in unison over the beat, but it's not as grating as you'd think it'd be. It's actually a whole lotta fun, if you ask me. And this would be such a great song to perform in concert, because it's high energy af. I wouldn't say this chorus is euphoric (Euphoric EDM usually has a note of sadness in the brightness of it all), but I wanna jump around to it like it is. And that's really all that matters, sis.

Romance (Odd)

Part of me feels like someone is going to be mad at this, but their wig is dusty. So I don't care

Romance is a song that I was hugely let down by on first listen. It, obviously, grew on me (this bitch grew on me like a fucking rash), but Ms Romance sounded way cooler in teaser form. The chorus was annoyingly bright and chipper, Minho's rapping was so off putting (which, to be fair, syncopated rapping is hard for most rappers to pull off, so that was just me being a dick), and the whole thing just felt far too long for how flat sounding it was.

I was not a fan, kids.

But Romance, like the album it was pulled from, grows on you. It seems like too much at first, but the more you listen to it, the more you start to Get It™. This isn't one of my favorite songs from the album, but it's one that I look forward to listening to.

Love Sick (Odd)

Oh my God, Love Sick!! Odd Eye and Love Sick are my top two favorite tracks from Odd, and 90% of the reason I held onto Odd for as long as I did. Odd was not an album I liked on first impact. But it kind of hit that this album couldn't be as bad as I made it out to be, because it has quite a few of my top tier SHINee faves. So me and Odd?!?! We cool now. We fucks with each other.

And yes, I do realize Ms Love Sick is another Fan Favorite™, but she's a damn good song. Y'all got me fucked up if you thought I wasn't adding this.

How does one describe Love Sick?!?!! Firstly, let's discuss these harmonies, baby. Love Sick was always gonna be a favorite of mine (that Groove™, sis), but these fucking harmonies take it to the next level. Y'all, SHINee did not have to snap the way they did on the refrain of this song, but they snatched every single follicle of hair from my wig and used it as kindling for the SM Annual Bonfire. I felt like I was floating the first time I heard this song. Love Sick would have been amazing without these over the top harmonies, but once again, SHINee are not content to do just the bare minimum.

As a whole, Love Sick is bouncy, fun, and there's a bit of melancholy there (the song is about unrequited love, after all), but it's just so Good!!

Don't Stop (1of1)

SHINee decided to get Grown n Sexy™ for the kids, y'all!! Got a bitch outchea trynna find a mans just to slow grind on.

But y'all not trynna hear alladat.

Don't Stop is Love Motion's spiritual cousin. They're more alike in vibes than actual sound (BEG being the Grown n Sexy™ idol group), but I mean... if you ever needed a part two to seduce your mans, baby.

Don't Stop, like Odd Eye, is a '90s RnB midtempo if I'd ever heard one. SHINee's vocal here is far more restrained than it was on Odd Eye (they actually let the beat do some of the work), but I like that. This song is a lot more subtle than Odd Eye is. And how does one even describe the beat?!?! I'm not sure that syncopated really does it justice, but it's not something you hear a lot in K-Pop. One complaint I have about this song is that I wished Key's rap break was just an instrumental section. I don't dislike it to the point where it turns me off from the song, I just think it would've been cool to do a dance break there.

Feel Good (1of1)

Feel Good is appropriately named, because she makes a bitch feel real good. Don't let her trick you with the soft intro and first verse, because the bulk of the song is Groovy™ af, baby. You could dance to this, but I'd prefer to just bop to the beat and make stank faces at the appropriate times.

The rap bits in Feel Good, unlike Don't Stop, are Just Right™. I have very much enjoy Minho's evolution as a vocalist *and* a rapper. Rapping in K-Pop is a concept I've just had to get used to cause so many of these idol rappers are not good by any stretch of the imagination. But if you can give me something that's fun, I've learned to roll with it. I liked Jongin as a rapper (before he became Vocalist Kai™), because he was very aware of the fact that that was not his calling in life, but he made it fun. And Minho gives me a fun verse here. Issa highlight.

Rescue (1and1)

If ballads are not your thing, then I wouldn't be surprised if you skipped the entirety of the 1and1 repackage (and therefore, Rescue). Which is a shame, because SHINee have some of the best ballads in K-Pop, but quite understandable.

But Ms Rescue is not much of a ballad, fam. The intro/first verse might trick one into thinking this isn't gonna be much of a song, but just like Feel Good, the song *really* starts with the chorus. And lemme tell you something - the chorus is F I R E!! You've got a nice little beat going with the prechorus, yes, but the chorus takes it to the Next Level™, sis. You've got thumping 808s, a badass chord progression, and the SHINee Boys™ givin' us That Good Good™. The chord progression is a particular favorite of mine, because it's got this gritty, almost anxious feeling to it. It's perfect for this song.

The first time I listened to Rescue, I made the stankest of faces. This song is just *so* fucking '90s, and it's one of my favorites from the repackage.

Alive (Odd)

So on top of giving us Grown n Sexy™ tracks for seducing bae into our lairs (or den of iniquity, if that's what you prefer), SHINee has also provided us with Alive. A song for... Well, do I really have to say it?!?!?!

Doing the frickle frackle!!

Alive is aggressive, kids. Like, EXO's MAMA aggressive. I was kind of thrown off by it on first listen, which is funny considering how I was very much into Everybody (or more specifically, Jinki with blonde hair and eyeliner singing Everybody). This is the type of song I picture boy bands practicing the stomp routines they receive from the National Boy Band Assembly® upon completion of their lineup.

Because boy bands sho' do love they over the top stomp routines, baby.

Alive starts out with a very loud, very in your face drum pattern that almost sounds like a giant making his way through the hills at night. Then, the verse comes crashing in with equally as loud and frenetic synths and The SHINee Boys™ matching the aggressiveness laid out by beat with a whole lotta attitude. And then, my favorite part of the song, the chorus. Out goes the Kill Bill Sirens frenetic synths and in come the RnB chords and harmonies. Cause God Knows™ these boys can't make a song without some killer harmonies. Bless the Lord almighty.

Wish Upon a Star (1and1)

This song always makes me wanna cry. I still love it, tho. Top 10 favorite ballads.

Wish Upon a Star is a soft classical ballad, if I've ever heard one. But The SHINee Boys™ sure know how to dress these up Just Right™ to make them worth your while. Wish Upon a Star sounds like it belongs in a Disney movie. It's soft and wistful, but sweet in texture, at the same time. I'm not exactly stoked for the SHINee World V concerts that are happening in February, but I hope they sing this song for Jonghyun. It'd be perfect for him.

This song always makes me so happy when I listen to it (despite always making me wanna cry my eyes out), because it really just shows how far SHINee have come as individuals and a band. They've always worked so hard to improve and comeback stronger, and this song is the perfect representation of that. 1and1 was the perfect time to release this song, because that era represents SHINee at their best, to me. Listening to this song makes me really happy, despite how sad I am.

Chocolate (Married to the Music)

Because no SHINee playlist (or album, really) is comeplete without a gay up straight up Funk track. Because SHINee are the K-Pop Kings of Funk. I will accept no other opinions about this.

Chocolate is Funk for the kids. The Actual Kids™, that is. Chocolate gives us those Funky elements we all know and love, but with a modern twist. The verses have an almost dissonant quality to them with how syncopated and off kilter the rhythm track is. I'm not gonna lie, it's definitely something you gotta get used to. But when that chorus/refrain rolls up on you, you're definitely gonna be happy you stuck with Chocolate. As typical with any SHINee song, there's lots and lots of harmonies. SHINee sees these groups only doing 5ths, and is like, "Oh no ma'am, not our gay extra asses".

Chocolate is, to be quite honest, SHINee on auto-pilot. It's SHINee doing what SHINee does best, and that's why we fucks with ha. I've never disliked a Funk song from SHINee, and I never will. These SHINee Boys™ have an understanding about Funk, and know how to make Funk songs Just Right™. It's always a pleasure to hear them make songs like these, especially when they give us a modern twist to go along with it.

Alright guys, that's it for today's list!! Tune in next week for my next Feature Spotlight, featuring songs from SHINee's experimental era. And don't forget to tune in on Wednesday to my Review Roundup of this week's releases!!

Love you guys.

#SHINee #Feature Spotlight #Felicity B

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raspberrytummytickles · 7 years

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Thanks, Dad

Title: Thanks, Dad Fandom: Supernatural Characters: John, Dean, Sam Summary: Ticklish!Sam, Ticklish!Dean; Dean ruined Sam’s school presentation so Sam ignores him. Luckily, dad knows just what to do. And how to help dish out revenge! (Teenchesters)

Original Prompt: Okay, but picture this: Sam's in highschool and has to do some kind of presentation, and he's made a PowerPoint to go with it. Dean (being the dick he is) decides he's going to change the words and pictures on all the slides to embracing pictures of Sam as a baby or whatever, Sam comes home fuming and refuses to talk to Dean. John finds out what happens and cheers Sammy up with a few lil tickles then helps him get Dean back for being so cruel! Huh? huh? Yeah okay I know this is bad but I tried...

A/N: Thank you Anon who sent this prompt! I’m not a John lover or a John hater. I’m sorta neutral with him so this is an adorable prompt for me and I hope I write it to your standards!

Sam could feel the tears of humiliation cloud his eyes as he rushed home from school. He had been the laughing stalk of the whole freshman class and it was all Dean’s fault. Sam had a very important presentation in his history class and Sam worked hours upon hours at the library doing research while also researching for his father, cleaning the apartment (since no one else seemed to want to do it) and cooking dinner with the food they barely had. Diner meals weren't good for everyday consumption.

So, all in all, Sam worked his ass off to get a good grade so he could get high college credits. And it was History Honors, so next year he’d be able to fly through AP. And what did his dick of a big brother do? Screw the whole thing up! Instead of his well thought out, detailed notes and citations, crappy insults and puns were on his slides. Instead of his hour long searches for the correct pictures instead of quick pics off Wikipedia, were pictures of busty Asian beauties and other porn stars.

His teacher actually thought that was his work! He got an F and a trip to the Principle’s office. When he explained what happened, luckily, the Principle believed him but he had detention for the rest of the week and a call to his father.

His dad was going to be so pissed.

Girls thought he was a pervert, guys thought he was the biggest loser of all time. And to top it all off, Dean laughed in his face when he confronted him. Told him that maybe if he wasn't such a nerd, none of that would have happened. Sam had enough trouble making friends as it is, now it seemed he couldn't even trust his own brother to have his back.

Sam walked into the motel room and slammed the door shut. Dean wasn't going to be home till later thank god but Sam would have to face John on his own. Sam hurried to his bed and buried himself into the smelly pillows and hard comforter. John blinked in surprise, never actually seen Sam so upset from school. He remembered the call from his Principle and heaved a sigh, walking toward his baby boy.

“Sammy―”!

“It wasn't my fault!” Sam cried, facing his dad with huge, teary hazel eyes. “Dean changed my whole presentation, everything was perfect and he freaking ruined everything!”

“I believe you,” John shushed him softly, squeezing Sam’s shoulder. Sam sighed in relief, hurt brimming over his eyes.

“I don't understand! Why did he do it? Everyone hates me!”

“Sam―”

“I’m serious!” Sam huffed, bringing his knees to his chest as he sniffed. “I’m the laughing stock of highschool. The pervert, the loser. I’m a freak everywhere I go!”

“Are you getting bullied?” John growled angrily at the thought.

“That’s nothing new,” Sam scoffed, wiping his eyes angrily. “I thought I could trust Dean to have my back. I cant trust anybody...”

“Sammy, kiddo, I know your brother can be a rash, hard-headed shit-headed bastard at times,” Sam snorted, eyes widening in amusement. John beamed back. Score 1 for Pops. “But I know he loves you more than anything in the world. And he wouldn't intentionally hurt you.”

“I guess.”

“C’mon, cheer up dude,” John prodded Sam’s side lightly. The youngest Winchester jerked, a smile quirking his lips. “Not quite, but getting close!”

“Dahahad...” Sam warned lightly as John continued to poke his sides. John smirked at Sam, quickly squeezing the smaller boys flanks. “Ahahaha! Nohoho!”

John tickled Sam’s hips next, rubbing circles into the bones. He relished in his kids laughter, easily finding his next target: Sam’s feet.

“Now, you were always really ticklish down here,” John narrated, clutching both ankles in a headlock. Sam sat up in his elbows, biting his lip as small giggles of anticipation escaped him. “Your soles were pretty ticklish,”

Sam squeaked as his father’s fingers trailed against his pale soles, twitching with ever scrape of the nail.

“DahaHAHAHA!” Sam shrieked when all ten fingers scribbled over his ticklish feet, head slamming down on the motel bed. He tried kicking but John had a firm grasp on his ankles.

“But, I know that you were extremely ticklish right here,” John teased Sam’s toes, sctatching the underside of them and right in between.

“NAHAHA! DAHAHAHA!”

“But, then again. You’re feet have always been as ticklish as your tummy.”

Sam howled with laughter as one hand stayed right on his toes, hitting the spots right at the base while John’s other hand reached around to tickle Sam’s belly. The Winchester Monarch smiled brightly, happy he could one thing right by his teenage son. He kept up with his torture, teasing Sam with his words and different techniques that soon had Sam fall into silent laughter.

“Are you happy now, Sammy?”

The poor kid nodded pathetically, mouthing out pleas for him to stop. John did as asked and let Sam curl up into a ball, kid taking in deep breaths.

“Thahat was aha-awful!” Sam whined, looking up at his dad with a beaming smile.

“But you feel better?”

“Yeah...thanks dad,” Sam hugged John tightly, startling his old man. John blinked before returning the hug, patting Sam’s back lightly.

Suddenly, the mote door opened and a guilty looking Dean walked in. Sam turned his head away, ignoring his big brother’s pleading gaze for forgiveness. A small idea formed into John’s head and he smirked at Sam.

“Want to get back at him?”

Sam’s eyes sparkled mischievously, “Definitely.”

“What?” Dean’s eyes widened as his family advanced at him. “Wha―Sam, I’m really sorry! Whatever you’re going to do, doHOHON’t”

Sam laughed at Dean’s shriek. John lunged at Dean last minute, fingers wiggling deeply on Dean’s belly. The older teen screeched with laughter, fighting hard to get away from his father. Sam stepped closer, hands easily finding Dean’s hips.

“SAHAHAMMY! NOHOHO!”

The rest of the evening was spent getting revenge on his big brother.

~Fin~

A/N: Didn't know how to end it....Please forgive, Dobby!! Anywho, I hoped you liked it. For some reason I am just in a big mood for foot tickles and the baby Winchester. I don't even know why but tada! I wanted to make this more of a Sam and John moment so I didn’t really add much ticklish!Dean. Sorry! Tell me what ya think!!!

#Ticklish!Sammy #Ticklish!Dean #John Winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Teen!Chesters #Supernatural #Supernatural tickle fic #tickle fic #tickling #fluff #asshole!Dean #sad!Sam #awesome!John #fic: Thanks Dad

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zoesrhees · 7 years

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hey guys!! as the trash that i am, im going to drop 99 percent of my replies and start over fresh mostly because i’ve lost focus to be completely honest however i’ve taken the time to rewrite my character descriptions and added a bit more info and i would love some connections for them all, i’ve included their houses, fcs hometowns etc etc for connection purposes, it’s all gonna be under the read more

zoe; (arden cho) sophomore, 20, pre-law, kappa gamma kappa; originally from san antonio, tx but moved to pa right before she started high-schoo, cheerleader, big dumb idiot basically, a mash between ally mcbeal and elle woods, incidentally they are both her heroes, though she knows ally had her share of problems, she’s very much got a similar mindset. zoe does try to be a good person, she’s smart, loyal and sweet but often can be selfish, stubborn and shallow. generally nice to get along with, she’s not much trouble but isn’t afraid to stick up for herself and once she decides to stand her ground that is it. not the best at doing so of course, that person that will think of a comeback HOURS later instead. hopeless romantic who is in love w/ love, she’s a sucker for anything cute and heartfelt, really wants to have her own modern love story, but also afraid of being burned or being the only one to fall, does stupid shit literally all the time honestly, sticks her foot in her mouth a lot, doesn’t know how to react in uncomfortable situations and will literally RUN AWAY from you, just a big ole sucker, really sweet, really friendly, loves everyone even when not every loves her. serial dater, would love some exes if they only dated a few times, etc etc.

dulce; (ana de armas) junior, 21, drama major, gamma delta VP, from south beach, fl basically do you remember those my super sweet sixteen shows, that was dulce except it was a quincianera instead. she comes from a loud af cuban family and they’re from miami, her parents make bank bc her dad owns a bunch of businesses and she loves sunny weather. she’s a little bit of a brat for the most part well meaning, though can be vicious if provoked, super overdramatic, extremely extra when she wants to be, very in touch with her feelings, hispanic stereotype in so many ways, HELLO, loves her older brother to death. very very gay, very very in the closet, afraid of her brother rafael finding out and their relationship crumbling because while she wouldn’t ever tell him he’s pretty much her best friend. wants to be the next angelica schuyler on broadway, very talented. would love some secret girl hook ups in the past, like SUPER secret, she’s slowly starting to be more comfortable in her own skin and taking baby steps out of the closet.

hunter; (lyndsy fonseca) 23, junior, sociology major, omega alpha chi, from Savannah, GA & California in her teens, field hockey co-cap, she’s just a lil slice of gay apple pie honestly. grew up in the south when she was younger, lived in california for a few years and fell in love with her next door neighbor before her parents ripped her away, her family basically disowned her and she was ready to run away at sixteen when her brother offered to go with her, they were pretty much homeless for two years and did a lot of semi shady shit, she got her ged, went to community college and worked her ASS OFF to get where she is now, had a lot of disdain for her mom and dad who were very conservative and very ashamed and she turned into a very sour girl. hateful and disrespectful towards her family she is definitely not over how they hurt her. extremely defensive over her big brother, heinous but fiercely loyal, don’t fuck with the people she cares about or she will come after you until you never want to see her face again and regret your decisions, extremely persistent, extreme asshole, not afraid to drag anyone she likes to use men for money, a lot. secretly misses her parents and wishes they loved her, not coping with the idea that they dont.

bruno;(jarod joseph) 21, junior, graphic design major, psi delta social chair. originally from australia but lived in new york part of the time, too bruno is literally everyone’s friend. there’s no making an enemy out of this guy, he’s genuine, sincere and really fucking nice. also really high ALL the time, likes to draw and paint, really into grafitti like wants to be the next bansky and shit. when he was young his parents died and he was adopted by his godparents aka luna and rocky’s parents and he grew up with them extremely protective of both of them, luna is LITERALLY HIS rock like he would be lost without her and he loves rocky more than air like its the BROMANCE to end all bromances. it’s hard to see him in a low mood. very sensitive, really in touch with his feelings and shit, will literally give you the shirt off his back, super passionate about mashed potatoes honestly. if you’re a nice person, bruno is your friend and if you’re not a nice person he’s going to try anyway

ruby;(marie avgeropoulos) 20, sophomore, marine biology major, kappa gamma kappa, gymnastics team co-cap, originally from australia actually the nicest person you will ever meet, puts everyone’s needs before her own and is extremely worrisome, self-blaming and self-deprecating. tries hard to be happy for everyone she knows and loves because she knows they’re not all. obsessive over every little thing and vehemently wants people to like her, loves with her whole heart no matter who it is, big science dork, very into gymnastics, doesn’t drink much, doesn’t do drugs and just really pure, has a shaky family past but her siblings are her world, afraid of anything happening to them, literally terrified of losing her big brother because they’re so close, passionate, open, honest and genuine, tries to push away the fact that her past has turned her into a sad bean and puts on a smile for everyone.

true; (ricky whittle) 25, senior, pre-med major,epsilon kappa tau vp, spent a lot of his time in paris before going to college, he chose to defer his first year but after a bad motorcycle accident he ended up starting very late anyway grumpy old man that would be walter mathau to shame. lived in paris for a few years where he met the LOVE of his life holy shit, after she left he got into a pretty bad motorcycle accident that fucked with his leg so now he walks with a cane and takes a lot of pain pills. cynical as all hell, rarely smiles, mean to everyone except for his sister, probably still has a vcr and a member’s only jacket because he is SO behind the times. studying to be a doctor, only rushed greek because of his parents and his little sister hope, his older sisters are extremely driven and successful and he feels the need to be too, hard living in their shadow their parents impress so many values on them. has been less miserable nowadays but still just has a permanent raincloud over his head. think dr. house meets munch from svu honestly.

bellamy; (caitlin stasey) 20, junior, astrophysics major, tau alpha zeta pres, softball team, from new iberia, la, your basic human trash can, she’s a slob, crass and hardly cares what anyone thinks of her both personally and physically, thinks she’s hilarious as hell but is really just super lame and stupid as hell, meme queen, really gross, makes a lot of stupid rash decisions “for the vine” even though vine is dead now, fierce friend, HUGE know it all, she might act stupid as all hell but she’s actually brilliant and is that sort of asshole that will not hesitate to correct you, space gay, loves looking at stars and definitely thinks aliens are real, really close to her big brothers and her cousins, has had a her heart broken a time or two but is really good at pretending everything is okay because that’s just what she does, laughs everything off. fiercely loyal friend, hoping to be sponsored in life by taco bell one day.

#nyuooc #nyuplots

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creepbuzz-blog · 6 years

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Top 10 Scariest Facts About History That You Weren’t Taught in School

Today we are talking a few things your teachers left off your lesson plans at school! Join me as we talk about the Top 10 scariest facts about history you weren’t taught in school. Before we get started I just want to remind all of you reading this to subscribe or push that notification bell if you love this website. #10 Heroin

Used to be used as a Children’s cough syrup. German drug company Bayer made a heck of a lot of money off selling heroin to parents. Get a load of these babies! Heroine was a prescription drug in the US until 1914 and was then banned in 1924. Can you imagine how the children would be after a sweet dose of Bayer's Heroine? #9 Hugo Boss Designed Nazi Party Uniforms

Hugo Boss is a luxury German Fashion house that now sells its product globally and is frequently seen on runways. The designer brand started up in 1924 and originally supplied the Nazi Party before and during World War 2. Comedian Russell Brand was ousted from the GQ Men of the Year Awards after making Nazi jibes at the brand in 2013. Remember Thomas Edison from your history lessons…you know… the light bulb guy… well he had a very "Dark Side"… your teachers didn’t tell you about He murdered an elephant, now did they! #8 Thomas Edison devoted his life to working with electricity

Unfortunately he got pretty brutal when he needed to prove a point. In 1903, the American inventor murdered an elephant to prove that alternating current was a bad idea. He invited 1500 people to watch him murder "Topsy" the Elephant at Luna Park Zoo on Coney Island. He also filmed it and released the footage to the public. It is heartbreaking! #7 Ring a Ring of Roses Song

Remember that song you used to sing as a kid in the play ground- Ring a Ring of Roses …. Yeah!.. well ….it’s a death song. Ring a Ring o Roses is a song about people dying from the plague. Ring o roses refers to the rash that plague victims would develop. The pocket full of posies refers to herbs that people would carry to protect themselves from plague…and the atisho atisho bit is the sneezing of a sick person…and the we all fall down bit is where…you know….people physically drop down dead and die. Fun. In Europe, a lot of us are very proud of our monarchy and the centuries of history behind it, but not one taught us at school that King Charles II of Spain was severely inbred. King Charles the II was the last Habsburg ruler of Spain. He was the product of 16 generations of ruler-ship in Europe, but also 16 generations of inbreeding. The Habsburg were a lot like the fictional Lannisters; they were very concerned in keeping their bloodline pure. Awkward. In school, I was taught a lot about the Roman Empire, but I was never taught this…. #6 Romans Used Humane Urine as Mouthwash and crushed mouse brains as tooth paste

Well, what a treat! I guess they had to keep their breaths fresh somehow! They also used urine to clean their clothes. This is basically because ammonia, which is found in pee, takes out stains…so…they were more concerned with having white teeth than fresh breath! I personally would pass on cleaning my teeth with pee and brains…. Just a personal choice. #5 Saddam Hussein was given the Key to the City of Detroit

History paints Saddam Hussein as a bad guy, mainly because he was indeed a bad….er…guy. None the less, after making a donation to a church in Detroit in 1979 because a Reverend praised him, he was handed the city keys. The American history books aren’t so proud of that one. #4 Christopher Columbus Raped Children

Oh well, that kind of extinguishes the "yey" for Columbus and his explorations party. In some places, people even goes as far as to celebrate a Christopher Columbus day. The problem is, not only was he awful to the indigenous people, he also raped them, including the kids. He would often give his lieutenants sex slaves and wrote that girls from 9 to 10 years of age were the most desirable…. Urmmm. #3 Nazi Twin Experiments

I don’t know how much history has shielded people about the kind of experiments Nazi War Lords did on concentration camp victims. Obviously, we know that they gassed innocent people, but the school history books leave out a few choice facts. I know a lot about the Josef Mengele experiments, because I have done extensive research on that area of history , but a lot of people don’t about the veteran Nazis sick experiments on twins and other such horrific medical tests. Mengele would inject chemicals into their bodies, especially their eyes to try and change their colors. Another Nazi, Isle Koch allegedly made lamps from human skin and that's why it gets to our Top 10 scariest facts about history you weren’t taught in school. #2 The Extent of Japanese Cruelty in World War II

Possibly because Hiroshima and Nagasaki were so horrific to humanity and the pain echoed throughout Japan for a great deal of time, the extend of Japanese killing in world war two is somewhat brushed over by history. Of course all countries involved inflicted pain and suffering, but did you know that Japanese torture methods were considered to be the most severe, that the Japanese killed more Chinese soldiers than the number of Jews killed in the Holocaust , and that Japan wounded more American’s in Alaska than at Pearl Harbour? There were also swathes of reports of Japanese cannibalism. Of course, this far in the future, we have to live and let live, but Nazi Germany got the lions share of the blame for atrocities, and Japanese war crimes are largely glossed over. #1 Russia and Japan are Technically Still at War

Finally….just when you thought we were sort of semi living in a time of peace…. You may not know that Russia and Japan are technically still at war. Two powerful countries who are still sour post World War Two. Eeesh!!. Even though the countries haven’t been engaging in hot war for over 70 years, they never signed a peace treaty officially indicating peacetime. The pair still disagree over the Kuril Islands. SO that was the top 10 scariest facts about history you weren’t taught in school. I actually really enjoyed this list. Love me a lil bit of history! Did any of you guys already know some of this stuff? What did you find the most shocking ? Let me know in the comments section below. The teeth brushing with mouse brains and urine was a personal highlight I think. Read the full article

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thatcookingfat · 7 years

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Tainted Love (The Extension ... oooo errr missus!!)

This meme explains how I've felt for the last few days! At least I can 'brain' again! I’ll try to explain! You know that feeling you get, when you try to think of a word, but the more you think about it the further away it gets? Mix into that, the feeling you get when you’re phone battery is down to 4%, you’re trying to get THAT thing finished, but the ‘low battery’ warning keeps flashing up, add a pinch of the hangover after a 3 day bender, light the touch paper and escape to a safe place!

Apologies for the last short post (I'm only 5ft tall). I'd rather 'cut my losses' than try to carry on and post a load of rubbish! But let me know what you think? Go on, let's get interactive, I don't bite ... unless I'm very hungry 😂😂

So when I abandoned you, I was encouraging everyone to get a 'Charlie' in their life, Dizzy had spat her dummy out, and Dotty was all by herself, on her own, with no-one with her!

Dizzy may have chosen not to speak to her family, but they still wanted to 'speak' to her! They tried calling around, but she'd slam the door on them; they'd phone her, but she'd slam the receiver back down again! Her slamming skills were becoming legendary; maybe she was the original ‘flouncer? I suppose her logic, by ignoring her family she was ignoring the truth, therefore she didn't have an eating disorder! ‘The Family’ only had one option left, lil ole Dotty!

For the first, but not the last, time, I was being used as a pawn. Suddenly my family were everywhere I was! I hadn't fallen out with them, so I was happily telling them about Mum's new friends, 'The Women's Group'. I told of our school holiday day trips and how Mum trusted me to look after the flat when she went out!!! I didn't know it was illegal, I thought I was grown up! I'd innocently lit the bomb fuse again! I was so thrilled when, that evening, not only Nan n Grandad but Auntie Jackie AND Uncle Steve were standing at the door when mum answered it. Before mum had time to slam the door, I had ran into Grandad's arms. I really seemed to have it in for her, didn't I?

Rather than the fun family night I had assumed, I was sent to my room so, 'The Grown Ups' could talk. Oh the injustice of it all! I hadn't seen my family in AGES and Mum was sending me to bed! I really did hate her at times! No matter how tightly I pressed my ear to the bedroom door, I couldn't hear what was being said. I would occasionally hear the raised tones of Grandad’s voice, or the piercing snap of Mum, but no actual words. Eventually, I gave up trying to earwig, my feet were numb with cold and my bladder was screaming with fullness. Reluctantly, I answered my bladders screams and snuggled up in bed. The heat of the electric blanket was just about to envelop me into slumber, when the living room door opened. I could hear the usual tones of chat and even a chuckle! Hearing normality, I sunk into a peaceful sleep.

The next morning the atmosphere was frosty to say the least! I made my way to school, knowing I was in for a bollocking when I got home! Now why is it, when you’re not looking forward to something, time flies by? It was ‘squeaky bum time’ when I got home! I hung my coat up, put my bag away, emptied my lunchbox ... basically anything to get me back in the good books. However, instead of the ranting and hiding I was expecting, I got silence; a sulky, speechless silence. It was scary! I tried to make conversation, but may as will been talking to the wall! I hesitantly put the TV on, not to watch, but to kill the deafening silence!

The silent treatment went of for a few days. The only interactions I had was when meals were placed in front of me and I asked to be ‘excused’ from the table. This was probably the worst punishment ever. I was walking on eggshells! I dreaded coming home from school, I knew at some point it was going to explode! But it didn’t! For once ‘The Sperm Donor’ did me a favour! He applied for custody of me! It forced Mum to speak to me. Obviously I didn’t want to live with him, I was scared of him, I’d seen his fists at work! But after the past few days, I did consider it, for a split second.

Armed with my reassurance, mum went to her solicitor to fight to the death! I had to be ‘interviewed’ by Hannah. i was told I had to be honest, I was, I just neglected to talk about mum’s silent treatment; thinking i was helping myself. Although I was interviewed, I never went to court. He lost the case, however, he was awarded ‘access’. Every Saturday morning he would come to collect me, and we would walk to his sister’s house. Now Auntie Iris’s house was BORING! We sat there in awkward silence! Auntie Iris didn’t have a TV, I hadn’t brought my books and my cousins were out at work. The day dragged on ... and on ... and on ... you get the picture! The only excitement was when, on my return to the flat, World War 10000001 broke out!

Mum had had the audacity to answer the door in her ‘going out’ clothes (She was going ‘out out’)! It was like a red rag to a bull! Obviously I wasn’t privy to the conversation, but there were loud and angry voices! Our angel of a neighbour, on heating this, called the police and they persuaded him to ‘move on’ Which he did, until they had left! This became the regular pattern of behaviour and, as an adult, I have to ask where was the welfare of a child in this ludicrous situation? I’m not saying that because I’m something special, far from it! If the only reason ‘access’ had been granted was for the ‘benefit of the child’, where was the benefit of witnessing verbal abuse? Verbal abuse cuts far deeper than any physical abuse and the wounds last a lifetime!

The Sperm Donor had won this round! Mum stopped going out on a Saturday night! Too stressed from the ‘handover’ battle, she was never in the right frame of mind to enjoy a night out with the girls. So she switched to going out on a Friday instead. Once ‘HE’ realised this, we were back to court, trying to change the day of access! He lost that round though! To add insult to injury, his latest court visit had upgraded the ‘Injunction’, it now had the magical ‘Power of Arrest’ on it. And they’d actually found a member of the justice team that realised this injunction meant he couldn’t come and pick me up or drop me off anymore! I was now taken into town, to a fast food ‘restaurant’. I would sit there with Mum, he would walk in, Mum would walk out. There was no contact between them.

Realising he couldn’t speak to mum, he started arriving before us! Mum would walk in with me, watch me get to his table and then leave! So his next tactic was to arrive back late with me, hoping for a confrontation. Mum didn’t respond, she just kept a log for her solicitor.Feeling powerless, he switched it up a ‘notch’! Instead of sitting in boring Auntie Iris’s house, he would take me to town and buy me things like make up! As an adult that seems pathetic, but I was 10 and make up was sooooo grown up! What he failed to consider was my skin!

Way back in post one, I explained that I wasn’t the prettiest of babies! Bring ‘overcooked’ I’d had layers of dead skin. That problem has followed me through life, not just the ugliness, but the flaky dry skin! Thanks to a defective skin gland, my skin would dry out to cracking point. So mum had always been VERY careful on products that same into contact with my skin. What did I care that my skin was beginning to resemble a baby's nappy rash, I looked beautiful with my face caked in make up and it hid the chronic eczema it caused! Mum was so harsh taking it off me! ‘He’ was right, she was jealous that he was buying things for me and not HER!

I’m ashamed to admit, he was turning my thinking around! He’d managed to pick at the scab this divorce was causing, and infect it with his twisted ways. He was poisoning the love I had for mum, add to that the raging hormones that were now raging through my body, I was the ultimate prize bitch now! I was unaware that, being unable to come near the flat, he had his nephews following mum now! Mum could hardly accuse them of spying on her, they lived around the corner!

When mum told me we were moving, I was so excited! We were moving to a house, with our own garden! What she failed to tell me was that, as a ‘managed move’ it was the other side of Coventry. The opposite side of the city to my friends and my family! I was also warned within an inch of my life, that I COULD NOT, tell him where we were moving to. It was a secret. Shame that nobody in the courts knew this! Mum’s address was ‘redacted’ from any paperwork ... but mine wasn’t!! Please stop the head shaking and face palming ... It’s too bloody ridiculous to comprehend, isn’t it?

So I was now expected to catch 2 buses to school everyday and a bonus, 2 more to get home! It was deemed necessary that I remain at the same primary school, as I was in my last year. Of course it was necessary to leave for school at 7.30am and not get home until 5pm. at least I was getting used to ‘working’ hours ... always a positive! I was now totally brainwashed! Mum was the enemy! She wouldn’t let him visit me at home, she wouldn’t let him phone me and she wouldn’t let me stay over at his new house! I really felt like I was a ‘victim’ ... Any Harry Enfield fans out there? I was the female ‘Kevin’. And by the time I started at secondary school, I was ‘Queen Kevin!’

Now in ‘Big School’ and a chip on my shoulder, out of the blue one night mum informed me I was going into care! Now where have we heard that before? So rejected by both parents, I was really feeling the lurve, NOT! As I sat there, stunned, Mum escaped upstairs! Desperate for the loo, i headed upstairs, but diverted to my bedroom as mum was already on the throne! All I heard was, “Going to pack your bags are you?” Well I wasn’t, as you know, but I thought, FUCK IT, why not!

So I bundled a few things into a bag, stormed downstairs and did an award winning flounce as I slammed the door! Armed with my bus pass, I caught a bus into town. I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I wasn’t going back THERE.

Apologies for the two part blog and thanks for sticking with me, if indeed you are!

Next time we’ll continue Dotty on her bus ride into the abyss and how she started a life long knack of picking the ‘wrongus’ (with a couple of exceptions)

Until next time, Dotty xxx

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krysrawfiggs · 7 years

Note

1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*

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yung-cringe-blog · 7 years

Text

Where Your Acne Is And What It Looks Like Can Tell You What’s Causing It

Thus checking out your problem areas could give you I was there to become a certified open water diver, a classification that should allow me to scuba dive in the world's most fascinating waters. We watched a video titled Risk awareness for scuba diving and went over basics from the first chapters of our textbook, Open Water Diver, similar to how to select and use our equipment and how being underwater affects our bodies. Know what, I really enjoyed reading everyones posts and the Chinese Face Mapping. So here is a question. Any advice on that for women my age?

I am sure it's hormonal and bacterial gether and that is why it's so a problem to shed. I have considered getting on birth control to if you're at this point after that, don't sweat it. Merry christmas and happy holidays my Love Vitamins! Christmas present for yourself? I'm having a holiday sale on my Naturally Clear Skin Academy. Online. January 3rd! Usually. In the initial stage they dint hurt but nearly any time I think they are bout to disappear, others come under the skin and have now began to hurt a little. Anyways, Been attempting to zone in on what could have been the cause but not quite sure. A well-known fact that is. Am on the coil and I donno if thats not working anymore.

So figured out that sugars and oily food stuffs also cause them from time to time.

Bout 3months ago I got this breakout that is on my forehead.

I really don't understand since I have never had such kind at really similar time. Know what, I have always had pimples everytime my period is round the corner. Certainly, They pop in random spots on my face. Besides, I have also been definitely super stressed for quite a while now though wouldn't know if that is the cause. I get candida and I've been treating an oth problem with that, when I take antibiotics. Basically, When am stressed my eating goes to zero. Small under the skin rashes and they seem to not go away. Makes me a lil uneasy coz they dont seem to go away. Although, They are not whiteheads as such but they do appear that way sometimes. Need my face back. My daughter has dreadful spots along her jawline which is obviously hormonal. She is trying for a baby for 6 years and now started IVF. I'm quite sure I wonder why they don't give her Actually I am sure That's a fact, it's either diet related.

I do consume a decent quantity of sugar daily.

To be honest I wish I could cut it out and eat SUPER healthy and everythingbut I AM 14 and I have tried it, and since I don't make my own food normally it's pretty hard. I ld my Mom, who is a CPM and going on CNM, and she said she does not suspect PCOS. Keep an open mind about these things -none of them are 100percentage accurate, conclusive, or true for everyone. They're just guidelines that may or may not be accurate for your particular case of acne. Of course, I hope you find them interesting and enlightening nonetheless! Maybe it's something in the water where you are that ain't in your hometown's water? That's either irritating your skin from the outside when you wash it, or reacting internally… for sake of example, sometimes people react to fluoride thelovevitamin.com/2744/'couldfluoridebecausingyouracne'/.

Actually I never had a real issue with my skin before I moved to Australia 5 Years ago.

I went to the doctors and asked to take I actually am now 25 and I have these funny little lumps on my forhead, they never develop into sore redish lumps. It's is so frustrating cause I work in a beauty industry and I know everything about a perfect skincare regime! Ok, and now one of the most important parts. As soon as the lump has healed a brand new one forms. I have wen on similar contraceptive more than 2 years. My boyfriend asked me the other day what rash is that. It is I get them around my mouth. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... They just sit there and I only remove them I squeeze them.

Hi, To be honest I am new to this and are reading and I am excited I am not alone however my face seems worse than most posted… I have cystic acne in zones 5, 9, 11, I have never had acne before and I am in my mid 30s.

It is very painful and my face is scaring and So it's so embarrassing.

I actually am planning to start again tonight. Usually, I have oral antibiotics but they don't seem to work. By the way I know I shouldn't let something just like this get me down but it does and I am just being honest. I can't tell you what amount doctors I'm to and what amount creams and washes I have tried over the last few years. Just keep reading. Again I am not very good at taking a pill everyday.

If you don't believe me Google candida acne antibiotics or something like that and read for yourself.

Two years later I am still fighting to get normal since not only did my skin get bad but it lead to bad eyes, thyroid, liver, intestines… don't let it get that bad for yourself.

It only messes up your body. STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS LONG TERM!!! Best wishes!! Drys my skin out./ the struggle By the way I also have a bunch of blackish heads on my chin but there not bad/noticeable so they don't bother me.

My forehead is fine I rarely get pimples there, maybe the odd one every few months.

I get it badly on my checks Down wards my chin, it's like a trail.

I'm wondering if you could give me any advice. My diet is fine I eat healthy I drink coffee a fair bit but I also drink a bunch of greenish tea. The I get them under my jaw, near my chin and along down where my glands are./ I have adult eczema so my skin is constantly dry. For example, I can't go on aracutaine, It's not cystic acne. Oftentimes I'm only 19 and get similar problem. For example, Pimple cream helps with the redness but it just drys my skin out so I don't like to use it all that often. That's in different areas on my face, I actually don't like to have sugar as long as I break out. Therefore, It varies on my skin. I actually also exercise about 4 times a week for about half an hour and I try to drink 2 litres + of water daily. Since I'm still going through puberty and developing as we don't stop growing until where Salt water will attempting to fight the redundant fat, you should be exercising that could be causing your acne to get worse. I'm 34years old. Its very redish after a shower. I eat gluten free very healthy. Now please pay attention. When the skin flairsI have stomach digestion problems. Its really like that for quite a while thence will seem more normal again for awhile before it starts drying again. It is wrinkling way faster than I thought it should and is so dry looking even with coconut oil on it. Any idea where I shoukd start? Yes, that's right! For the past 6 months my face skin has gone thru stages of normal to very dry, dark red burning.

Never ever had a skin issue my whole life till 6 months ago so I'm at a loss as to where to atart.

Did you ever find anything?

The struggle I'm quite sure I am identical age, and legit have the same acne. You should take this seriously. By the way I moisturize with an equal part vaseline and honey mixture with small quantity of tea tree oil, and that seems to I'm almost sure I ok that to mean you were eating something that was causing problems in your gut, and in my case that was true. Cheeks are broken up into upper and say. This is the first map I've seen that doesn't include that. Consequently, I have seen a couple face maps that show cheeks being stomach. Time to start eating healthy, take a multivitamin, and probiotic I reckon!

The skin is merely reflecting the inflammation and damage going on inside. Social pressure or not, only one thing I have a question about is taking vitamin D with Vitamin I read that vitamin an and D don't mix well in high quantities since they counteract each other and can become xic to your body. You find this valid or should I start eating spinach and identical high sources of vitamin A, right? For the most part I've been in the process of changing my eating habits since early 2013 as in less processed and more fresh foods I dont really even eat meat except for nearly any once in a while although I do love seafood.

Hi Tracy so I finally think Ive figured out what the big problem is…and surely I have a wheat sensitivity or allergy which sucks being that I LOVE bread and most things made of or containing wheat especially sweets!

I figured it out just recently as I finally said to myself this needs to stop.

By the way I am addicted to sugar and its a habit I am working on breaking. I had been noticing that every time I ate something containing wheat that I will get a painful bump under my jaw and it was only on my left side but after that, it started to spread to my right side which was completely clear and this whole time I thought it was other factors similar to the oils from my hair or my pillow cases or even my hormones as last year I stopped taking bc and I thought that my system will just regulate its self but its a year later from so and my face is still acting up so anyways on Sunday the 9th of February, a week from today, I cut all wheat products out from my diet and guess what… I stopped getting painful lumps under my jaw and after that to test it on the 14th my bf and I went to eat Vietnamese and he had ordered egg rolls so just to see if I will get one I ate an egg roll and just as I thought I did get a couple painful lumps under my jaw line so I am pretty sure that is my problem as long as I also thought it I dont drink high sugary beverages just mainly water although I've been thinking about investing in probiotics to eliminate all that nasty wheat and regulate its self again.

Im preparing to do the hot cold compress tonight, and maybe apply some hydrocortisone to my be great, as its very painful. That's interesting. I've been on a very good diet for about a month, a little more. Im currently seeing a naturopath and have had the hair cell test done and was ld I have a range of problems, very low progesterone, liver conjested.

DIM supplements aswell for a few months. I read that when you first start taking progesterone cream it can exagerate symptoms as first. Jessica, I'm 23 years old. Known have beau's lines on both of my big toes. I went and got blood work and I am waiting for my results. I didn't take it serious. This all happened in the past 11 months, and I am now starting to notice more hair growth on my fingers, around my nipples, and side burns. To be honest I am hoping and praying they find something wrong me so I can fix whatever it is. Hi Tracey. Let me tell you something. My guess is it's either PCOS or thyroidism, maybe both. Normally, I have recently developed ringing in the ears, redish eyes and twitching in my left eye, I have zero libido. Now please pay attention. Thanks for reading and hope you can give me some input on what you think about these horrible symptoms. October, im lost for words to what's causing it. Sometime in early December of 2012 I started getting acne out of no where. Off, I started losing lots of hair, especially in the shower.

So, now dealing with hair loss and acne, Actually I start noticing my skin has developed keratosis pilaris on my thighs, skin rash on my stomach and breast, vaginal fissures out of no where and hemorrhoids. Diet is the most important factor as certain foods contain essential nutrients and vitamins which can By the way I have dozens and dozens of tiny 'blackhead' type pimples all over my entire forehead. Then again, they don't become whiteheads, A few are dark red. Like, completely covering it. Notice, about month ago, my entire face exploded. Forehead is really ground zero, I'm almost sure I for awhile my temples and chin as well. Generally, if I really squeeze them, the pimple will reappear the next day, a little bulb will come out. Can anyone suggest some good websites for teenage acne?

Seems like they will be fundamentally different. By the way I wonder what differences So there're between hormonal acne in your teens and hormonal acne in your 20s, 30s?? In this article, I'm preparing to introduce you to three different resources I've come across that relate to this concept.The first one is Chinese face mapping, the second is a chart that Fran from High on Health came up with, and the third is a chart from the acne ebook ‘Diagnose Your Acne‘. Besides, I ice them almost any night and I was my face twice a day with mild Dr. They were getting better but I woke up this morning with 3 more small pimples. Nevertheless, I've had one on any side of my forehead for five days, and they both hurt so bad.

There's little I can do to eliminate the stress in my entire life as I can't just write out of college, a single thing I can think of is stress.

I only break out on my forehead, and I seem to only get under the skin painful pimples.

Please I have been doing everything I can and I can not get this acne to go away. Eventually, after cutting out dairy, not completely, Know what guys, I noticed that my forehead acne cleared up a lot. Bronner's soap. Generally, If my skin gets dry I use coconut oil. Now pay attention please. It's really hurting my self esteem. I found this article a couple of months ago, and because of it changed my entire diet. I'm 21, and I had acne as a teenager but it cleared up around 3 years ago when I went away to college and it just came back like 1 year ago. With that said, I drink water and eat healthy, what am I doing wrong?

Thank you very much!!!

I was an avid pot smoker, and I just quit last night thanks to this chart….

I believe your blog is all about to save my life!!! Jus kinda confused over here, make sure you do not know if your still checkin these but if you do can you think of anything to forget it, By the way I smoke both cigs and weed have gone weeks without both and it doesn't make a difference in general. As a result, You can't even see them but they still bother me. Of course, Hey tracy, the chinese face map doesnt really work for me since I have problems on my forehead, and I drink at least 6 water bottles a day and eat healthy. You should take it into account. Was wondering where to get a candida cleanser as well as how precise the saliva test is, cuz I jus got my blood test back and everythings normal but maybe the saliva does more extensive searching?

No sugars barely any milk and I wash my face twice a day.

I can see you have helped so many people!

Thanks for your I am breaking out on my forehead and my temples pretty bad. Looks like now amongst beauty gurus. Have you heard of something like that before? Example. That's right! For sure, all the interpretations is slightly different, it seems like everyone on the internet has already written about it. Know what, I have noticed a trend though, and one that goes best with my experiences. Let me tell you something. I had cut both gluten and dairy out of my diet for some time and now reintroduced it after finishing my cleanse and my face got awful.

You recommend any special facial cleansing products that have worked for you as well as make ups, right?

Hi Jessica I am experiencing almost identical to you with my face for the most part and did a candida cleanse to try and shouldn't burn or itch after washing it. I'm quite sure I really like the Cetephil Daily Cleanser. Just seems like Chinese Mapping is spot on. I believe the Chinese Mapping is relevant in my situation. Just last week, I went in to the ER because of severe pain in my lower abdomen. Perhaps the acne will also go away.

Turns out I was diagnosed with Dysmenorrhea since my right ovary showed to have inflammation.

Lately I was breaking out around my mouth area.

By the way I have to get on birth control now. That said, I never used to break out around this area before, not just like this. Fact, It's just been really hard nailing down a culprit for the acne. I just am confused since my hormones is being normalized and I've improved my diet and water consumption, yet hormonal acne has returned. Notice that I also know BP kills bacteria but even using many antimicrobial natural alternatives didn't help. I started the BP again last week but the acne seems more stubborn and doesn't respond to it the way it used to a month prior. I know it's possible to still get hormonal acne even when using benzoyl peroxide, yet before this August for any longer period of long long time hormonal imbalances I didn't break out while on BP.

Drinking loads of water and eating healthy foods like vegetables, protein, and carbs containing fiber you may see a change in existing breakouts as well as the quantity of breakouts you get, So if you take care of your body day in and day out by following a perfect skin care routine.

Any idea on how to solve this problem?

Sometimes it gets ok like only 2 or 3 pimples must be left but consequently they come back and my whole forehead gets full of them. Hey, um I get acne on my forehead alot. My forehead is kinda oily but I wash it regularly. This is the case. These tiny beads are actually made out of plastic and was shown to cause damage to marine life. Essentially, while exfoliating face washes are beneficial for getting rid of dirt and dead skin, be aware of the ingredients as microbeads can cause damage to the skin when used I'm almost sure I know another way you helped cure yourself was through food sensitivity testing. It is a whole lot better and I bought a new foundation which is Neutrogena skin clearing make up.

I will try it!

It really helps!

Thank you a lot! Thank you for the good advice. So, I stopped uching and picking my face. Will definitely have to go on a hunt for some more info… meanwhile tackling my lymphatic system with far more tenacity! On p of this, everything I read says different. Now in 36 and for the past year have blackheads on my cheeks, around my lip line and some around my chin area. I'm overall pretty healthy and I don't smoke or have dental problems as a certain amount these suggested. Could my acne actually be the cause of something else? With all that said... My cheeks. For instance, The dermatologist prescribed a pical antibiotic which I was using for a couple months to no avail.

Thanks again.

I never suffered from acne as a teen.

Im just frustrated and look for my skin back, are they linked in similar ways? I was ld by numerous people that its hormonal acne. Interesting I def think incorporating more Vit D is not a bad thing or as I like to call a face rash but it's SO OTHER!! It's abeing that I lived it. Please please please STOP taking the antibiotic.

STOP THE ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY!!!!

They tell you to take to keep under control but it's a lie.

Conventional derms are WRONG. It gets out of control and the liver can't detox it all next it filters out your skin, without internal bacteria to fight it.a lot. I lived the exactly same thing that is happening to you. It for awhile being that it's a yeast overgrowth coming out your skin. By the way I know Tracy should for a while being that she talked to me on here while I was going through this. I'm seeing specialist under going test the entire nine. Although, What can you offer a woman spiraling down ward fast?

My self esteem IS BREAKING and my health condition ain't helping!!!!

Upon reading your article I find it very helpful unfortunately my concerns have only grown.

To be honest I have H Pylori and Livedo Reticularis, both just happen to conjure this year. Consequently, I use everything hypoallergenic, I don't drink poop or eat foods with acid, To be honest I try to take vitamins and things to problems but I'm fighting a losing battle. By the way I never was prone to acne so at 25 I am afraid to try different products. Ok, and now one of the most important parts. I'm beginning to be concerned however, my face and skin are out of control. Did you hear of something like this before? Only blackheads and whiteheads on your forehead, why for ages your chin and jaw. Your Tzone is pristine, why are your cheeks a mess. Now let me tell you something. Why do you have acne even if your skin was not oily whatsoever? Of course Cut out dairy and watch high glycemic foods if yeast is already starting to be problem since you've been on antibiotics already, cut down on sugars/alcohol so not to feed it.

It seems valid.

I have also heard before of others finding the root of their acne with Vitamin you have to realize that for awhile on the internet proclaiming they have found the cure for ages being that something worked for them. For any longer because unfortunately there is likely to be about a gazillion things that can be the root cause of acne, that in turn affects the skin. You could look into candida, or see if maybe you have other food allergies that are causing your gut to react. Seriously. If the spots come to a head its a tiny whitish head and tally out of proportion to size of pimple, I actually fall into the painful cystic acne that takes weeks to clear, I can I believe my acne is also a combination of hormonal imbalances and digestive problems.

I reckon I've gotten the digestive problems under control. Your observations seem pretty spot on. Online. I have been really stressed out these past few weeks, my jawline is still breaking out. Now pay attention please. This just can be accurate. Basically, I have never had cystic acne in my whole life on December 1st. Just think for a moment. Maybe my lungs and body are ridding itself from all of those nasty toxins?

I'm praying that it goes away, would make sense. Huh! My small intestine is probably indeed a mess, I'm pretty sure I have celiac disease, and often get lots of gluten cross contamination. Less carbs? Frustrating sometimes. Actually I have acne mainly on my cheeks. I actually don't eat any processed foods or refined sugars. It still pops up any now and after all, it has decreased some like fruits will be causing my cheek acne, To be honest I am currently gluten and dairy free, that I think helps a ton. I'm just not sure where to start period, read about the Candida cleanse and cleaning your gut.

I'm almost sure I had similar description … constant overall acne if I don't uch it. Oh, and I can't eat eggs much either unless they're baked in things. I did coffee enemas, and it got even better. Just keep reading! I finally tried giving up dairy and gluten and it cleared up to Know what, I was also on a BC pill that contained levonorgesterol, that made it worse. I went on Accutane and Yasmin BC pill, and my skin was perfect for years. Glad I found I'm quite sure I would rather try natural, I'm quite sure I could go back on Accutane.

I had oily, pimpleprone skin in my teens and early twenties.

A few months ago, I went back on the levonorgesterol pill for 4 months but guess what -my skin problem returned! Anyway, I look for to fix the root cause, No blemishes = no picking. Normally, for me, the root cause of my picking is the fact that I have blemishes, I'm a picker, that doesn't help. My probem hasn't gone away, I'm back on Yasmin. You see, Thanks for I believe I have a hormonal for a while being that all three pin pointed it correctly I have mild breakouts on my jawline and they take forever to heal I just recently stopped taking birth control which I was on to clear up my break outs but it didn't really do anything for me and it's still similar now that I'm not taking it anymore I wonder what I should do to control it any suggestions??

Actually I am having lots of small pimples around my mouth and they ITCH!

Could this be a sign of healing?

You suggest probiotics as well, right? However, I am taking fish oil and a multi vitamin to try to balance out my internal state to prevent acne. Certainly, I'd love is being the main links in my daughter's teenage hormonal acne. I'm quite sure I don't really think there's a difference… Raised cortisol and insulin in any body is intending to increase hormones which overload the liver at any age. Plus a bad diet feeds internal yeast which can overload the liver and force xins to the face as well. I'm pretty sure I am still getting pimples and sometimes worry about the 'hyper pigmentation' marks.

You don't use oil or anything and your face has remained clear?

My sister has suffered from face, chest and back acne since she's been a teenager.

Her back acne includes. Everything seems to align for me at this point! Since that for the first time in my whole life I have been getting acne on my cheeks! My allergies have also been going crazy with flare ups! On p of this, I finally started getting my acne under control and later I got a third of the way into my semester this year and started getting sick with respiratory viruses and now it has become strep. What can I do to prevent them? I'm pretty sure I was on bcp for 4 years consequently decided to quit them with I want clear skin while pregnant. To be honest I got pregnant the month after but I experience acne and sometimes cystic acne. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... Im new to the website and I have pcos. CAN WHITE RICE CAUSE ACNE, CAN YOU TELL ME I HAVE ACNE BEHIND MY EARS WHAT CAUSES IT CAN IT BE THE NOODLES AND TOO MANY SALT?

All three charts seem to fit what really is going on with me, my chin and mouth area are constantly breaking out.

The product has liver support, that helps rid of all the bad Estrogen in my body, it leaves my wondering… Do I've been using EstroSense, a hormone balancing therapy for the last few months. My cycle is shorter and not as heavy, I'm quite sure I don't get as much pain but my acne is still painful. Notice that I am not seeing any results as far as clearing up my skin goes. Sometimes we need to seek professional are exhausted.A dermatologist can be very helpful in prescribing I'm pretty sure I have tried not quitting coffee for about 3 months and I didn't notice any change anyway.

For a while enough time to notice any change, right?

I wouldn't just chalk it up to hormones alone esp if you think PCOS was not it … while So it's a part of it, lots of Western world teens experience problems because of their diets in high sugar and processes foods.

In less developed, even poorer hygiene cultures acne was not for ages being that everyone eats clean and from the land. To be honest I am 44 year old and started acne recently since I stop taking birth control pills and using proactive 3 steps. Hopefully I will see results soon. I am reading any and nearly any post on your web site. Yes my acne does match up with the description. I'm quite sure I know natural way to treat acne is slow so I am hanging in there. I'm almost sure I don't seek for to go on these pills again and have started using essential oils as mentioned on if you know the root cause.

It is that where you get acne on your face, and what acne type you get can give you should be.

I have NO other symptoms anyway.

Its almost all on my forehead. Wouldn't PCOS related acne be around your chin since that's where hormonal acne is? You see, I'm reading up on PCOS, and I highly doubt that is what's wrong. With that said. Well Know what, I hardly EVER have acne around those areas. Eventually, Thank you Tracie. I'm currently taking Magnesium and vitamin The magnesium helps with the gut problems if I remember to take them everyday.

Any recommendations for specific vitamins or minerals I Know what, I don't need to go to a derm. Know what guys, I had cleared my acne up completely with Tamanu oil. Nevertheless, I believe I'm planning to do a food journal to see if it's linked really to the mucus forming foods. Doesn't it sound familiar? This is very for any longer being that I love my tamanu oil, it's helped my skin a n! Considering the above said. My right cheek broke out lately with cysts. To be honest I have like 3! Hey! Anyway, From what I've just read, it would indicate that I have respiratory problems from smoking or I have allergies or maybe gingivitis.

Hey so I have plenty of breakouts that happen on my cheeks.

Both upper and the lower part.

Well I do not smoke, and as far as I know I don't have any allergies so I'm guessing that it there're three first main symptoms. Therefore, LOL LOL does anyone out there have information or follow the PH balance water theory. Plus I was reading about drinking PH balanced water lately. Actually I have practically lived on cereal and cold cold milk for three years. Part of the temperature thing with my skin. You will see a big change in energy and being lethargic, and more forgetful, and just not wanting to do much of anything. I have. Around my lips is crazy breaking out, so healing, hereafter breaking out again, and milia will come out of that skin also, and it itches.

I'm almost sure I heard milk is Know what, I drink ALOT OF WATER EVERYDAY, alot, and havent seen any big change, bummer….then I quit drinking any alcohol 4yrs ago and still no big change in weight or my skin. To be honest I will certainly take a stronger look at my diet. Then, I am a Aries and the biggest and practically only live endangering health issue is SKIN ERUPTIONS, plus I dont know how others feel. What possibilities gonna be my problems. Now look. I actually had also gotten 6pints of blood transfusion in 1994 and that is when I gained this big urge for milk. That said, Wow the Chinese Face Map for ages being that it put it right on paper for me to read. You should take this seriously. Double bummer huh??? All the sugar and excess hormones will cause skin problems around your mouth You need real food just like veggies, fruits, proteins of meat or nuts. I'm sure you heard about this.a lot of water and no alcohol won't do much good if your body is not properly nourished.

It's not on the ears. Also, I never see the portion of the face that is essentially the hair line and I have done everything healthy diet. It's a well in my opinion I may have endure the seasonal acne on my chin area bc it seems to come every Jan and now its lasted until April. The only thing I can think of is diet -other than what you mentioned.

Teenage years can be a challenge hormonally for some or evn many.

Surely it's EVERYWHERE. Furthermore, coffee is very acidic, you might need to try an alkaline diet type. She has good insights on hormonal problems. Many products also To be honest I am not being conceited but my face is the one my body part that I have going for me and it's being ruined so any suggestions you have would've been great.

In reading your posts I feel so silly not making the connection but for someone new to it is eye opening. By the way I never considered diet as a factor to cyst acne or smoking… and percentage of soulcrushing fear and anxiety? You essentially have an acne phobia, and I have the answer to treating it. December 2016 New on the blog! Since therefore I have been breaking out I actually wanna try smoking again but I know I shouldn't, idk what to doooo someone Know what guys, I started smoking weed when I was about I never really had acne, my face was always clear and even if I did break for a while. Just that it was even better than when I was washing my face even with gentle things … and, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say that the caveman necessarily cleared my acne completely. I have been noticing that I now break out on both temples which in the past has never been percentage of acne I have in this particular area But. Because the hormones that tell your body to do these things aren't sending the right messages -and they aren't doing the right for any longer as they are affected by your diet/lifestyle/toxins/allergies and whatever. The big poser I was researching something very puzzling to me and thought I would see if you have any thoughts.

If you have any thoughts Tracy I will so appreciate it!

My major acne area is my cheeks redish and cystic. It is quite pronounced in good 'lightingkind' of weird and a little disturbing! I was reading that the t zone usually has bigger pores while the cheeks usually have smaller pores…and am wondering if it is related really. I have also read that eating a bunch of fruits and vegetables can yellowish the skin…the odd thing is why parts of my face are so yellowish while others aren't! Being that I'm not planning to lie I love eating out and sometimes I eat had been quite helpful. Scrubs don't work. Maybe going to be so bad. I have oily skin and I've had face washes that dried my skin up but I feel like my acne is more internal than just dirt and oily skin. I'm curious to hear your take only current situation.

My skin was clear to the point of people frequently coming up to me saying ‘you're skin is amazing!' regularly.

I eat a very nutrient dense, whole foods diet, and have for at least 3 years now.

I haven't owned makeup in years because of it. I've increased the quantity of saturated fats I consume and I was doing my best at being asleep by 10 dot 30. Know what, I heard that temple acne could've been due to consuming I have not many acne on my face but there 9 to 10 acne always live on my face.

STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS!!!

You need to clean up your internal inflammation.

They are contributing to the recurring acne. Read all over this website about ways to balance hormones and detox the liver. That we are what we eat!!! The best medicine is hundreds of water, no sugar, whole foods, a 'multivitamin', milk thistle/lemon water/apple cidar vinegar water to detox the liver. Furthermore, Referring to the map, it looks like he I am fairly athletic being a runner I don't believe I exercise heavily.

I've stopped that recently though.

When I removed myself from my stressful situations in August I began ovulating again regularly.

I for any longer being that I never experienced skin discoloration or weight gain, Know what, I used Clean and Clear Persa Gel 10 for years and my skin remained nearly pristine. They come to a head or disappear within about 2 weeks. Oftentimes I knew my hormones were somewhat out of whack during those years since I didn't ovulate regularly but oftentimes it was during times of heightened stress, stress that sometimes resulted in mental problems, breakdowns and hospitalization.

I believe my hormones are stabilized problems.

I'm in my mid 20's now.

Now I'm ovulating regularly for a whileer out of the ordinary. It was intense and I typically did not ovulate during those times. Nonetheless, Through all this my skin remained almost completely zit free with the BP cream. Seriously. Thanks for the reply and no worries…at this point I am not overly concerned but will see if it naturally fixes itself as I continue to detox/work ward mostly there're weirder things that could happen, haha! Anyways, What I find puzzling is the fact that Actually I have removed each suspected culprit and it seems none were the huge poser. Interesting I've recently reversed my diabetes and I drink ns of water.

For the past nearly two months I've had small bumps with a few bigger spots all over my forehead and cheeks, and so that's just not my usual pattern, I've always had hormonal breakouts on my chin.

This is very interesting.

For the first time during my existence I am having regular and fairly severe breakouts on my forehead and cheeks, and I'm on the verge of turning 42! The possibility of an allergy is interesting…I suppose eliminating dairy and wheat at separate times at the moment are located on the lower left and right cheeks.

Thanks for the insight! I don't smoke nor drink though. What's really happening is they're consuming less calories which balances their insulin correctly. Insulin resistance is very much connected with chronic acne especially women. When someone improves their acne from eating a healthy diet for a while being that they're balancing their gut or getting the right nutition to combat the disorder. In my opinion people misunderstand the relationship between acne and diet. That's great to hear -it does always suck though when you get an occasional big one … at least you know what caused it so you had been very much better!!

By the way I don't think this stuff applies to me.

I don't have cystic acne but loads of blackish heads, I reckon.

Right now it's getting worse again. Notice, It's frustrating. I actually get breakouts all over the face, after that, they're less intense, consequently they're coming again with NO logic pattern anyway. My skintone is so uneven overall. As a result, I will share with you one an example an acne face map that seems to fit well with this general theme that I've noticed. Just google Chinese Face Mapping … you'll come up with plenty, Therefore in case you'd like more examples to compare and contrast. Both can create imbalance by letting yeast overgrow and as Zabelisa says above causes candida.

By the way I don't think Candida is my be the issue. Are you on antibiotics or birth control? Remember, my frustration! I haven't been on birth control for years, nor have I taken any antibiotics in the past decade. I'm almost sure I have seen a 180 in progress by following candida help!! Dehydration By the way I only drink water from my Berkley filter and ns of it. Look over this website already looked at the face map. I appreciate the input! I would know, To be honest I am fighting that same battle! Digestion is particularly on point lately. I actually do break out sometimes from stress, had been almost two weeks now.

Never just like this on my forehead.

By the way I do see very slight improvement if I am not being delusional. To be honest I am lost. Actually I have what actually is going on. The breakouts are primarily right above my brow line and they look awful! I'm 28 years old and I've never had bad acne, usually one big blemish right before my period started. What's going on?! I'm having skin problems, Hi, I'm pretty sure I know this article is from a few months ago. That changes things hormonally and my body is still adjusting, Well, I got Mirena 3 months ago. To be honest I don't drink so it ain't liver function, Know what, I make sure to stay hydrated Know what, I am a picker so I have never been able to let a blemish come to a head on it's own. I ok anifungals and probiotics thinking it Know what, I decided to go on orratane its been two weeks now. Does candida acne not react to this miracle drug? Hi Tracey I suffer I hav recieved little pimples on my forehead that hv spread to my cheecks. Even the guy in the article takes back his claim. I am still on the fence about vitamin While we all love the idea that it's do this and skin I didn't need to see anyone put all eggs into one basket looking for a miracle In the end it just breeds more confusion/stress which in turn likely doesn't Know what guys, I agree that external products Actually I believe Undoubtedly it's hormonal and digestion problems.

Would this So it's hormonal imbalance?

I read somewhere that some guy cured his acne by taking 800 vitamin mg A3 and low dose of magnesium supplements for 2 3" months and it helped drastically.

Stumbled across this article while attempting to diagnose my acne. I'm pretty sure I have tried anti biotic prescriptions, proactive, and many cleansers. My face was bad for about 4 years now. Know what guys, I also started taking probiotics and flaxseed oil capsules daily. Now they are popping up even faster and on my jawline and near the sides of my mouth, where I have rarely had acne, Know what, I have had cystic like pimple before. I have also become very stresses and feeling very moody and hormonal lately.

Especially lately I have had more on my plate than ever before.

Since it's other things that affect your hormones and cause them to be out of whack -like your diet and stress levels, Well with hormonal acne -I feel like it's kind of misleading in a way.

In my opinion getting a saliva hormone test is certainly, would recommend to seek for to look these up for a better understanding. It brings forth the idea that different parts of your face correspond to specific organs and body systems.

Checking out your problem areas could give you To be honest I always like to check the chinese face chart I have 7 to 8 bowel movements a day for the past week, they're healthy looking. I'm quite sure I still have redness and inflammation. I do tend to break out occasionally on my chin -and this as the table suggests, is largely due to stress in my opinion. My acne used to be eliminate it.

I've read that this medicine indicated for acne.

To be honest it didn't occur to me that it can be the antibiotics. After the last pill my skin looked better than it did in years. The last time I've taken antibiotics was years ago. To be honest I haven't had any therefore amazing. Its really redish! To be honest I get plenty of my actual acne on my inner cheeks.

I'm almost sure I have to put on lot of foundation to cover up.

I have a bumpy skin tone.

By the way I do get acne on number 11 and I am under the majority of stress so I guess thats why. My forehead is very bumpy and idk how to rid of it. Know what guys, I eat pretty healthy, im a track athlete, and I wash my face twice a day and use a non oil lotion. Its so embarrassing. Know what guys, I am almost Please help! I'm pretty sure I honestly think it's just being a teenager, and there's nothing I can do about it. Its no where near as severe as Tracy's was. My acne is not HORRIBLE. I occasionally get whiteheads, and cystic pimples. Basically the pimples are small and dark red. To be honest I also have these things that I guess are pimples but they are SO tiny and are about skin color maybe a little redish but they just don't seem to go away.

Okay, I have been reading up on the root of my acne but I am stumped!

Close to my nose.

By the way I am not the typical acne map kind of girl and need some help. Help?? I though it was a spleen deficiency but my symptoms to not match. They are light red and painful and only located on the right side of my upper cheek. By the way I do have intestinal problems….like IBS but not diagnosed. I'm quite sure I do not get them anywhere else. My break out started approx. I'm pretty sure I do not understand what's going on. The acne are white. Possibly an allergic reaction? Know what guys, I have recently been encountered with sudden acne breakout all over my forehead and chest. I am seeing some very little ones on my arms and thighs. I'm almost sure I had there.

Check out this article. As for the acne on the side of your chin. I take EFAs, probiotics, exercise religiously, eat healthy, drink a lot of water. I've tried everything. I've taken every medication imagineable. By the way I hurt inside and out. My chin is disfigured from cysts. Small under the skin bump. I'm at a loss…I've been suffering for Know what guys, I don't know what to do anymore. I had my hormones 'checkednormal'. Know what, I use epsom salts and baking soda to help the inflammation. Every topical.

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