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spinchip · 9 months

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Never the Dark

Chapter 9

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Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8

warnings: body horror, mentioned death of non-major character, threats of death

I RESENTED THE CONTENTMENT OF THE FIELD.// WHY MUST WE PRACTICE THIS SURRENDER?

“So,” Jay begins, “Nice weather we’re having, eh?”

The woman next to him gives him an incredulous look, “...What?” She makes a face, the bat slung over her shoulder swaying with each step.

“It was a joke. Like I said, ‘nice weather,’ but it’s funny because the weather isn’t nice at all.” He explains, motioning to the rolling clouds and gloom. A beat passes, “It’s funny.” he repeats.

She stares at him with all two and a half of her eyes, “Are these the type of jokes that get laughs where you’re from?”

“Nope.” Cole cuts in, “He strikes out at home too.”

“Hey!” Jay whips around to shoot Cole a dirty look, “I’ll have you know my mom thinks I’m hilarious!”

They trek through thick red woods while Jay shoots off a few more jokes, trying to prove his prowess as a comedian that all fall flat. The tension in the air is too thick to be cut with a good joke, let alone one of Jay's bad ones. The warriors from Oasis had formed a circle around them, boxing them in and guiding them along the treacherous ground-it isn’t long before the trees thin and the group steps out into tall grass. The grass is thick around as their fingers and grows up to Kai’s waist, thin spindly looking black plants lined with flower petals poke up sporadically through the grass. The grass is alive with movement, each tendril blindly attempting to wrap around the party's legs and trap them in place.

Birdy makes a rushing motion at Nya when she slows down to stare at the plants, and she catches on to why when she has to use more force than she thought to be able to shake off the snares. If they moved quickly, the flora couldn't encase them.

What catches Lloyd’s attention the most, however, is the massive beasts floating gently in the sky.

“What is that?” he breathes.

Wox glances back at him with a furrow in his brow, “...How long’ve you lot been here?” He squints.

“They’re Jellies.” Birdy starts before the Ninja can answer his question, “Named after Jellyfish on Ninjago. Can you see the resemblance?”

Kai doesn’t respond, studying the massive monster aimlessly drifting above them. It does look like a jellyfish, with long luminescent hanging bulbs on the ends of its tentacles to lure in prey. Its bell is a translucent white, and its arms- it makes Kai’s stomach turn. It looks as if someone had taken the guts out of someone and tossed a sheet on top. It’s dripping with a fluorescent pink liquid that nearly mimics blood.

“Never seen a jellyfish like that before.” Nya comments, looking away.

They pass through the pasture and reach the city limits.

Nya whistles low, “Wow.” She speaks what they’re all thinking as the town comes into view.

The main fixture in town is right smack dab in the center. A massive spire of stone spears the sky, the horizon a jagged line where brown and ruddy red split purple down the middle. It’s the size of two mansions stacked and three times as wide, with stone walkways dug out into the hard earth lining the outside and dark arches for doorways leading deeper inside the structure. It’s old enough to have been refined, with stone railings and decorative architectural choices thrown in. The lower parts of the hollow mound are covered in doorways and windows, things that grow more sparse the higher up the dirt climbs. Lights flicker through some of the doorways and windows, definite signs of life. The lower level spaces are taken up by shops and occasional homes- a blacksmith, several stalls selling strange looking foods and unnaturally colored breads, skeins of cloth and thread on display in another shop, and more.

In a massive sprawling collection of blankets piled with trinkets and essentials, the people of the Realm of Madness have set up shop just outside the largest entrance into the cave system. It’s a market with temporary vendors who are displaying all different kinds of wears- Filler fruit, strange colored gems, swathes of fabric that shimmers like silk but as thick as wool, and a thousand and one other things to poke and peruse. Several horses lounge next to pull carts, resting as their owners sell their goods. People are sitting or meandering through, the sounds of laughing and bartering and chatting flooding the air as they near.

Birdy slows to the point where he's next to Jay, “Take your watch off.” He says shortly, voice clipped and urgent, “It is painting a target on your back. Technology is few and far between, and it is incredibly valuable. It is the type of thing people here would kill over.”

Jay slides the watch off and tucks it into his backpack with a nervous nod.

Cole nearly jumps out of his skin when a trundling bag of bones materializes next to him.

“Hullo there might I interest you in some fine craftsmanship? Some excellent jewelry? All handmade, all natural, all materials ethically sourced! Fine jewelry, excellent craftsmanship!” He jangles along, the skulkins' skull bobbing and bouncing with each step as if his head wasn’t quite screwed on right.

“Is it really ethically sourced?” Kai asks skeptically.

“All handmade, all natural, and all definitely sourced.” The skulkin says with an enthusiastic nod.

With a flourish, he whips his draping black cape back, revealing the mutated bones underneath. Instead of legs and hips, he’s made up of several arms scuttling along beneath him, a few of them too small or deformed to offer any proper support with his steps. The arms lead into his spine which lead into an open rib cage, sternum split down the center and his ribs curled open and spread apart just perfectly enough to loop fancy looking necklaces and bangles and bracelets. The smaller lower ribs are studded with rings and the occasional set of earrings too, those same strange looking gemstones curled behind wire as added flair.

Cole's eyebrows raise, “Is that gold?”

“Is that gold- is that gold!? My dear boy it's something very SIMILAR to gold! Who cares to have boring old gold when you could have something completely unique and slightly worse? Very similar to gold indeed!” He drags his knuckles down his rib cage for emphasis, which sounds like a perfectly tuned xylophone scale. “My name is Tauto and every piece I offer is one of a kind! Excellent fine Craftsmanship! What can I wrap up for you? Maybe wrap up something for the ol’ lady?” If he had eyebrows, Tauto would be waggling them, glancing meaningfully at Nya who's walking by Cole's side.

Cole glances at Nya in surprise and she immediately turns away, pressing a hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter. He swallows his down painfully, “Uh, yeah, no thank you. Good luck on your endeavors.”

Cole doesn’t get the chance to finish his goodbye before Tauto has reequipped his cloak and is walking away, greeting a multi-headed snake who’s already picking out several pieces.

Birdy is walking in the center of them all, seemingly trying to keep a low profile in spite of how the market is growing considerably quieter, all eyes turning to the interlopers in their midst. Murmurs break out, people talking amongst themselves and a few of them getting up to trail the party, more invested in the interesting drama than guarding their meager shops.

“Butcher Bird’s back!” Someone cries, and the murmurs get louder.

“Welcome home!” Someone else shouts sarcastically.

“Nice of you to grace us with your presence, butcher!”

Similar jeers crop up, but surprisingly there's no real heat behind it.

“Butcher?” Kai whispers, turning hard eyes on Birdy.

“My mask was gifted to me by another realm of madness convict.” Birdy murmurs, “Many believe she would not have parted with it by choice.” The implication is, of course, that everyone here believes Birdy murdered and looted for his gear. Great. There was… something else there too, Lloyd was sure. Something Birdy wasn’t saying.

And interestingly enough, despite the jeers, no one dares approach. The shouts only come from indistinguishable spots in the crowd that grow silent when Birdy comes close enough. Those they pass lower their eyes.

Why?

Wox seems to walk slower so that everyone really has the chance to toss out a cruel jab before they step inside the cavern. It’s cooler inside, enough where Cole shivers in surprise. The hall is dark, torches studding the walls few and far between to the point where the midpoint between two is only three shades from pitch black. They pass by several off-shooting halls without pause, trudging through large atrium's and up sloping stone and stairs until the sounds of talking comes muffled down the hall. It feels like they’ve been walking for ages before finally rounding the last curve, walking into a massive cavern filled with people.

The room is lined with tables along the edges and one massive red wood table in the center that is bare of any occupants. The rest of the seats are nearly fully taken, warriors sharing stories, eating, or maintaining their weapons. Cups clink and blades on whetstone shhhk in the space between words.

All the tables are aligned in a way that leads the eye up to a raised dais where two people sit. Off to the corner tucked away with a little desk is a man with horn-rimmed glasses and a pristine white lab coat writing away in an ancient looking journal, completely unassuming.

In the very center is an ornate chair made of dark red wood with curling legs and an intricately carved back. Deep red upholstery cushions the chair, giving it a luxurious and plush appearance in stark contrast to everyone else's plain stools. Sitting in the chair is an older woman with salt and pepper black hair. She's wearing black boots and gray pants that sit high on her waist, her legs relaxed and spread wide as she lounges on the chair. She's wearing a red and gold bodice over a black turtleneck, slumped over bored enough to pillow her cheek on one hand and rest her elbow on the arm rest. In contrast to everyone else in the room- and in the realm at large- her clothes are perfectly maintained other than a few purposeful tears. No patch marks or obvious stitches from mending. Her long purple claws on her left hand poke at a dagger stuck in the arm of the chair idly, wigging it in the gouge she’d made just because she wanted to.

The most jarring thing about her isn’t her wild hair or the patches of purple-blue scales crawling up her left side, but the multitude of eyes that block out half her face. The right side is mostly normal, one blue eye and perfectly manicured brow. The left side, however, is marred with at least four different eyes all crowding into each other. The main eye is filled with several irises and pupils, all of them randomly expanding and contracting regardless of the light. Places where her sweater is torn reveals more eyes, suggesting that the entire left half of her body is broken up by her mutation.

She looks up as Wox and his party enter the room and her eyes light up at something to break the monotony- and then even more so when she realizes who’s at the center of it all.

“My my!” She drawls, sitting up properly in her chair, “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” She grins and it's all teeth.

Birdy inclines his head, “Samira.” he greets.

“Now with a tone like that I might think you’re mad at me. And what's with the voice? You have a cold or something?” She hums idly, sitting back and letting her eyes roam the newcomers. Cole suddenly feels like a bug under a magnifying glass, “What's the meaning of these visitors, Wox?” She asks bluntly.

Lloyd steps forward, “My name is Lloyd,” He begins, and Birdy- who wasn’t fast enough to stop him, places his hand on his forehead like he’s fighting a headache. Wox lets out an indignant chuff at Lloyd speaking over him, “And these are my friends Kai, Nya, Cole, and Jay.” he introduces, “We were just passing through.”

They were both in similar positions, him and Samira. Leaders. He just needed to talk to her on her level, to control the situation. He could get them out of this.

Samira looks at him for a long moment, “I’ve never seen you before. You’re new, aren’t you?” She looks relaxed, but her eyes are sharp, “Brand new.”

“We came here just a few days ago.”

Birdy jerks as if struck, but there’s no way to snatch that tidbit of information back from the air.

Samira tilts her head, her hair falling gracefully down her shoulder, “Interesting.” She says and doesn’t press for more, which makes Birdy relax a fraction, “You’ve never been here before, but your guide most certainly knows the rules. You cannot just ‘pass through’ Oasis, as I’m sure my patrol has informed you.”

Lloyd hesitates, glancing at Birdy.

Samira sighs and rests her elbows on the arms of her chair, “You must offer something as payment for access though my territory.” Her eyes flick over them, eyeing their empty hands and hopelessly flat bags, “I can assume you have not brought anything. That was very foolish of you, Birdy.” She steeples her fingers, “You know I am obligated to take care of trespassers.”

He steps forward, “You owe me.” He says simply.

The quiet chatter stops completely, a silence descending over the room that's so thick Lloyd feels like he can't move. Samira is stone still, but her eyes have widened a fraction where they’re trained on Birdy. The intensity in her eyes would make even the strongest men waver, but Birdy doesn’t look away. Or maybe he does. It’s kinda hard to tell with the mask.

“As I recall,” Each word is measured out in tense control, “I owe you one favor. Not five.”

Neither of them speak.

Lloyd notices Cole slowly and calmly reaches out and clamps a hand over Jay's mouth, just in case he tries to break the tense silence with another stellar joke.

Birdy raises his staff, bladed end pointing out. Half the room scrambles to their feet, but Samira holds up a hand and everyone freezes. Sweeping his staff backwards, Birdy holds it in front of the ninja like a protective shield. The staff ends up pressed against Lloyds stomach, firm and unwavering. Birdy is telling Samira in no uncertain terms that he will protect the Ninja from her and this makes the whole room break out into murmuring, a shockwave of commotion at the action. Birdys defense has weight to it. His presence and opinions is something these people take extremely seriously.

Lloyd follows the staff up to look at Birdy, staring at the smooth side of his mask. Who are you?

Samiras expression sparks with shock before a deep interest overtakes her face. She grins, leaning forward to really study them all. “I’ve been a poor host, haven't I?” She says, the strange tenseness of the room not fading but the energy changing somehow, “This is no way to welcome our newcomers to Oasis. Why don’t we discuss payment over dinner?”

All because Birdy threw his lot in with the Ninja? Instead of killing them, she was inviting them to dinner?

Wox looks flabbergasted, “Lady Samira-” He starts.

She stands, grabbing the back of her chair and dragging it down the dais stairs thunk after thunk, “Wox, would you have Elizal prepare a meal for my friends and I? And please, send someone to set the table.” Her chair legs screech as she hauls it across the stone floor, “The rest of you? Get out.”

Wox tightens his jaw but doesn’t object, nodding is assent.

Samira swings her chair around to settle at the head of the table as everyone else immediately rushes out, Cole huddling into the group as they’re suddenly surrounded by warriors beating a hasty retreat. In all of about thirty seconds the room is empty save Samira and the man still up on the dias writing in his notebook.

“Will you be joining us, Barath?” She speaks without looking at him.

“Shh,” He says, “You’ll make me lose my train of thought!”

She takes no offense at being shushed, turning her eyes on the ragtag group in front of her, “Sit.” She orders, “Please.” She adds.

Birdy moves first, sitting to Samiras right. The ninja, after exchanging a collective worried look, fill in the rest of the seats. The other seat next to Samira remains empty. As they sit, a woman carrying a large tray walks into the room. She sets the tray down and starts handing out silverware and handmade clay pots filled with the realms equivalent of water using the tentacles sprouting from her belly. She delivers Samiras by hand. Cole does his best not to stare because that's impolite.

“Thank you, Ila.” Birdy says quietly when the others are too nervous to remember their manners.

“Sweet as the day I met you,” Ila tuts, “This place ain’t changed you a bit.”

She brushes her hand along his shoulders as she passes, and then they’re alone again.

The table is made out of the same red wood as Samiras chair, and the seat they’re sitting on are too. They’re less fancy than hers is, but they also have a cushioned seat. A welcome reprieve to the stone and grass they’d been lounging on during their trip.

Birdy turns towards Samira, who hasn’t bothered looking at him, instead studying the gaggle of ninja seated at her table, “What do you have in mind for payment?”

She flaps her clawed hand dismissively, “Business can wait! I’d like to get to know the trespassers,” She says trespassers like a term of endearment. “How did you all wind up here?”

Birdy shifts his grip on his staff nervously and Cole picks up what he’s signaling out- they must be very careful with what information they piece out to her, “Well, it all started when my Mom met my Dad-” He begins.

“I mean the Realm of Madness.” Samira has no issue interrupting him, a spark of amusement in her eyes as she fights a smile.

“It’s nothing special,” Lloyd shrugs, “We were in a fight.” He studies the room surreptitiously, hoping to find more leverage, something he can use to turn this conversation in their favor. The room was frustratingly bare, and it was increasingly apparent that the people of the realm only cared about reputation- of which the ninja were severely lacking. And after Birdy's warning, Lloyd knew he couldn’t throw around his status as the green ninja to earn any respect. Samira smiles at him like he's a particularly curious piece of lint and nothing more. There is no equal ground for them to find, so Lloyd will keep his mouth shut.

“But it is special,” Steepling her hands together, Samira leans forward to examine them carefully, “You see, Banishment to the Dark Realm is an archaic Practice. You’re the only newcomers in nearly 30 years, barring Birdy.”

“I am sure that would be willing to explain their origin if you were to share yours first,” Birdy suggests. An attempt to stall, probably, pr a diversion.

Samira thinks on that before sitting back with a thoughtful humm, “Well, what is there to tell? My story is the same as most of the others here.”

“I was a seamstress first, before a warlord. My home was the Cloud Kingdom.” She starts.

Nya looks confused, “But I thought everyone in the Cloud Kingdom was a scribe?”

Samira gives her a patient look, “Where do you suppose the robes on a Scribes back come from? The food they eat? The very ink and paper they write with? These worlds are larger than you think, with a thousand and one moving parts, and I was a cog in the machine. I was happy, until I wasn't anymore. Then I burned it all to the ground.” She sighs and it's a put upon thing, “They didn’t like that, and bam- I was sent here. Simple as.”

Samira picks up her cup and sips from it, “There, is that enough of a rapport? Now tell me, what realm did you come from?”

“Ninjago.” Jay says helpfully.

Before anything else can be said, two people enter the room carrying several of the big trays from before. One of them is Ila again, who once more serves the food with her tentacles until her trays are empty. The man with her waits for her to be done so she can help him with his burden, doling out green bread and soup until the table is full. The ninja thank the two as they leave.

“What’s in this?” Kai asks, scooping up a bit of the viscous jelly before letting it plop right back in the bowl.

“It’s a favorite of mine.” Samira tears a piece of bread off her roll, “Filler fruit sliced and reduced in fizz fruit concentrate. It makes the broth savory and thick. Then the normal soup fixins: vegetales, tubers, and meat. Don’t ask what type.”

Cole takes a whiff of the soup and it smells vaguely like lavender. Whatever ingredients included seemed to cancel out each other's smell into this light floral scent.

There’s a lull in conversation as they eat. Barath doesn’t come down from the dais to eat, his bowl cooling on the table. Birdy picks up his spoon and they all expect him to do the same number he had before when he’d eaten in front of them, lifting his mask just enough to wedge his utensils under it without revealing his face.

Instead, to their great shock, he pulls his mask off to the side and angles it so the ninja can’t see his face, but Samira can. This doesn’t phase her at all.

“So she can see your face, but we can’t?” Kai comments with a pout.

“We are very close,” Samira explains, “We’re nearly best friends.”

“No we are not.” Birdy shuts that down immediately, “She has seen my face before- by circumstance not by choice.” He corrects.

“You wound me! And here I am, one of the only people in this realm who welcomes you.” She tuts, “You’ve made quite a choice in your guide so i must ask, why Butcher bird of all people?”

“He saved us from an ambush.” It’s Nya this time who chimes in.

Samira smiles at her with an unreadable expression, “How sweet of him.” She looks at Birdy's bare face, searching for something that he doesn’t give her. Her lips purse into a thin line. There's a moment where they eat in silence, “You say you're passing through. Where are you heading? It seems you have a destination in mind.”

There's an uncertain silence as they grapple with how to answer that.

“If you’re going somewhere specific, you’ll be on a tight schedule. The evershift waits for no one- so tell me, and I can ensure you end your journey on time.” She smiles pretty, and it's all teeth.

“There’s no rush.” Lloyd says stoically.

Samiras smile dims, and she seems to sense she won't get anything out of them on that topic. She pivots, “You’re from Ninjago, yes? Interesting. I had no idea they still practiced this type of punishment. What do you do to get sent here?”

“We told you earlier, we just got into a fight.” Kai reminds her, “Simple as.” He parrots with a grin.

Samira narrows her eyes at him, “So you all just stood still while your opponent brewed the travelers potion? I see my initial judgment of you as warriors was false.”

“Hey! We are warriors! We’re ninjas!” Jay defended, “She didn’t brew anything- she used a gauntlet!”

Samira, who’d been lounging back in her chair with a smirk on her face, sits up straight at that. Her eyes widen a pinch, “A gauntlet?” She clarifies, “Was it blue?”

Her sudden interest surprises even Birdy, who sets his spoon down to dedicate his full attention to the conversation.

“Er, yeah. Teal and dark blue with like, little metal claws-”

She barks out a laugh, “That gauntlet was supposed to have been destroyed! Do you know just how unlucky it is that you got blasted with it?” She pauses, “And how dangerous it is that it’s been found?”

The room grows tense, “What do you mean?”

“That gauntlet is a piece of The Armor of Utano.” Samira explains before her face pinches and she glares at the table, searching for a piece of information in her mind, “Oh what did they call it in Ninjago… something stupid…” She snaps her finger, “You should know it as a piece of the Allied Armor of Azul.”

“Azure.” Birdy corrects.

“Same thing.”

“I’ve never heard it called that.” Lloyd commented, “Even Uncle Wu has only called it the allied armor.”

Samiras eyes flash as if she's learned a particularly interesting fact, “It's quite the weapon... I could tell you more, but I’m afraid it won’t be free.”

Bird speaks up, “That won't be necessary. I know of the armor, and I will inform them.”

“Fine, be my guest.” She says sitting back, feigning nonchalance.

Birdy turns towards them and clears his throat, “How do I start… ummm… there was once- No, uh. A long time ago in Ninjago-”

“No! Shut up, you aren’t telling it right.” Samira immediately interjects irritably, “You know what? This is a Cloud Kingdom story. It should be a Cloud Kingdom native who tells it.”

Nodding, he inclines his head, “You’re right. Please, the floor is yours.”

One of Samiras eyes gives him a dirty look before she starts, “The first thing you need to know is that there are places in every realm where the Ethereal divide is thin enough to cross over, and the second thing you need to know is that every realm has its own artifact with the ability to easily cross the Realms of Creation. In Ninjago, that would be the Realm Crystal.”

Lloyd frowns, “But I thought the Realm Crystal was created by the First Spinjitzu Master to escape the first realm?”

“The First Spinjitzu Master found it in the First realm,” Samira corrects, “It was lost when the great serpent Wojiras' wrath tore open those thin spots between Ninjago and the divide. Much of Ninjagos history was scattered this way. In the Cloud Kingdom, our realm key was a ball of pure metal imbued with the essence of the other realms. Before time had a name, a man from the Cloud Kingdom fell in love with a man from Ninjago. He heard him singing through one of those thin spots in the realm, and they began to meet in secret. You see, It is forbidden for a cloud kingdom native to fraternize with any other realm inhabitant- as the writers of destiny, we were meant to stay completely impartial. He was breaking the most sacred law of our land.”

Samira picks up her cup and sips from it, “They only kept it secret for so long- they could not hide the pregnancy. Once they were discovered, The Grand Scribe ordered the dimensional portal sealed and forbade Daichi from returning- but he did return. With the Realm Sphere. The Cloud Kingdom could not stand for this and warriors were sent to retrieve him. He hid his husband and his daughter from the kingdom's eyes, left them the Realm Sphere, and was imprisoned until his death.

“His husband passed not long after Daichi was taken, and their daughter Utano was alone. The loss and hardship of her life poisoned her, and she took the realm sphere to a smith and had it forged into a powerful set of armor imbued with the powers of each realm of creation. Her helmet granted her future vision and she allowed it to inflate her ego. She gained money, power, and prestige. She amassed an army. She believed herself to be judge, jury, and executioner and called upon the powers of the 16 realms to become a revered warlord… In the end, she was defeated by the elemental masters of creation, and her armor was split apart and destroyed. Or, if your story is true, mostly destroyed.”

“Except the gauntlet that leads here?” Lloyd grin wryly.

“Apparently.” Samira hums. “This gauntlet not only opens portals to this place, but it has the ability to change its shape to whatever the wielder desires. Utano felled many men with this ability, by the blade of a sword, the flat of a hammer, or the claws of a dragon. Whatever enemy you have made was merciful in their decision to banish you rather than cut you to pieces.”

She gulps down the last of her soup and surveys the room and sighs, “It seems dinner is over. I feel like I'm the only one who did the talking here.” She narrows her eyes at Birdy for a moment before looking back at the ninja, “As much as I’d love to pick you all apart, it’s time for the boring part- business.”

They grow tense, stiffening under her eyes as her expression changes from relaxed to closed off in an instant.

“Well?” Kai challenges when the silence goes on too long.

“One of you will stay and serve me, and the rest may go on.” She says instantly.

The ninja erupt into protests, “No way!” and “We can’t leave anyone behind!” filling the room.

“Okay, fine, keep Birdy.” Kai says with a frown, motioning at the man.

“He is ineligible for this particular offer.” Samira says apologetically, “It must be one of you color coded trespassers.”

“I understand your responsibilities as a leader, I really do, but that gauntlet is dangerous and I have a duty to the people of Ninjago to protect them. That is my responsibility. There has to be some other way.” Lloyd insists.

“None.” Samira says stiffly. “This is the way it must be. I have a reputation to uphold, and an expectation from those who I punished before you to maintain consistency-”

“Three funeral flowers.” Birdy announces into the air, staring at Samira. It’s an offer, and a serious one if her sudden silence is anything to go by.

“Do not interrupt me again,” She says quietly, “I’ll allow it this once because that is quite an offer, Butcher.”

“Three funeral flowers is more than enough to allow all of us safe passage through Oasis.” He seems unphased by her chastising him, “If we fail… you may kill us.”

“What?” Kai demands, jumping to his feet.

“There is no other way.” Birdy doesn’t look away from Samira.

She studies him just as hard, “I assume you’ll leave now?” he nods. She takes a tense moment to think, “I can’t allow you all to leave for this journey. I must have leverage to ensure you complete your part of the bargain… but you’re already planning on leaving alone.” another nod.

“You’re going to just leave us here?” Cole asks, surprised at how much that stings.

Birdy immediately turns to him, “I will come back.” He says firmly, hearing the betrayed hurt in Cole's words, “I will not abandon you.” And Cole finds he believes him.

“Anyone else, and I would be convinced they were lying. I’d be certain they’d never look back once they got off Oasis’s land… But I know you well enough to know you’re telling the truth. You’re a man of your word.” She leans forward and examines them all again, “And for some reason… These people are special to you.”

“They are good people.” Birdy says weakly.

“I accept your offer, but you aren't going alone.” She looks around the room for a heartbeat before pointing at Lloyd randomly, “Blondie will join you. The rest will stay here.”

“No way!” Kai sputters, affronted.

Reaching out to place a reassuring hand on Kais shoulder, Lloyd offers Kai a confident grin, “Kai, I’ll be fine. I mean, we’re just going to pick a few flowers, right? how dangerous could it be?”

Samira cringes, and she and Birdy share a look that means one thing. This wasn’t going to be as simple as a walk in a meadow.

What did we get ourselves into?

#ninjago #lego ninjago #lloyd garmadon #kai ninjago #cole ninjago #jay walker #zane julien #ninjago never the dark #ninjago au #nya ninjago #spinchip fic #ns11 #body horror #this chapter also mentions a guy getting pregnant but hes trans alright

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 months

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My whole renewed dive into trying to save all the John Oliver files I can get my hands on, which within a week escalated to me buying a new 1TB hard drive just to see how big a John Oliver folder I can make, started when it was noticed that this video was taken off YouTube:

I was glad I’d saved a copy of it, because I don’t trust anything to stay anywhere on the internet, if there’s something I like I immediately put it on my hard drive so it can’t disappear. I'm making this post mainly for anyone else who might not have saved this before YouTube took it down, here's where you can download it. Because no one should be denied the really fucking weird 25 minutes with baby comedians from 1997.

A few years ago I read this quote from Richard Ayoade, which I annoyingly can't find now, where he said he doesn't like this documentary, that they were just students and obviously didn't know what they were doing and some film people came in and said they wouldn't look bad in it but of course they do look bad. It was something like that, I can't find the exact quote. But I remember finding it odd, because surely no one is judging these people's actual comedic skill based on a few clips from a 25-minute video of when they were students. People just share it because it's funny to adorable little baby versions of the comedians who are famous now. Obviously they weren't doing high-quality comedy, they were like 19, no one cares.

Since then, I have learned that this is not quite true, and Richard Ayoade did, in fact, have reason to object to his weird student sketches being out there. Because apparently, some people are judging their comedic skill based on the time in 1997 when he and John Oliver did a weird sketch on a fence. My deep rabbit hole dives of about 18 months ago led me through a lot of old comedy message board threads, including one from 2006 of people absolutely ripping that video apart as a sign that comedy is well past its peak and this newfangled crop of comedians are all shit and the once-great institution of Cambridge Footlights has fallen. By 2006.

I normally don't link to things things directly from a message board on here, seems too close to that horrible thing where you take screenshots from one social media and post it on a different social media to make fun of it (so instead, I just occasionally see something I disagree with on a message board, and then write a post on here refuting it without posting the original context, to people who don't know what I'm talking about), but it feels more acceptable if it was from 2006, I think. It's not like the person who posted that in 2006 is likely to still be hanging around Britcom social media seeing who's quoting them. So I think... I think I need to quote just a little bit of it, because there was this one really long aggressive rant from this one 2006 post that was the funniest fucking thing (I won't like but it's not hard to find on Google):

I mean, I can't really communicate how bad it was, to be honest. But it was just the fact that you saw the two cunts writing the thing, sitting in a daylight-filled bar, giggling into their lager. You got the picture? Ugh. And John Oliver, who is the spitting image of David Baddiel (intentionally of course), is there with his pencil and notepad suggesting the lines with a grandiose smugness that made me really ill, and his mate (the blandest man ever) is there, with his jumper and his shoes, salivating over the comic genius he sees before him. Cunt, cunt, CUNT! They also have three girl-ones with them, all of whom have no talent whatsoever. You see one of them auditioning, where she has to do some improv, and she's shit... but the president (who looks like a fifteen year-old John Lloyd) can be heard wheezily guffawing at everything she says. And this serves only to make her improv even worse. And John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair.

That is, in case anyone's wondering, why my current Tumblr bio ends with the line: "John Oliver is the worst. Or the one that got to me the most. With his hair." It's a quote from a guy in 2006 who was really really mad about a 25-minute Footlights documentary.

So I would like to state, for the record, that by sharing this video, I am not endorsing the actual quality of the comedy in the few little sketches we see. I am also not endorsing the class system, the hold that a few elite institutions have over entire industries, Richard Ayoade's views on transgender people, or trivia in pubs. I just think they're adorable baby comedians as well as an interesting snapshot of comedy history. I'm pretty sure that's all it's supposed to be.

I am also not endorsing the class-based dominance of elite institutions when I say I still want that sitcom between two student comedians, Kim Tey and Wark Atson, who have to band together to get through their year-long university comedy play while hiding from everyone but each other their respective secrets of not really being a student there, and not really being Welsh. Madcap farcical hi-jinks ensue. People would watch it. I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions but I do quite enjoy Footlights stories, so I'm glad they made a really weird documentary with some of them. Also when I go to the UK this summer I've booked off one entire day to take the train to Cambridge and run around feeling like I'm in Harry Potter (Disclaimer: I also do not endorse JK Rowling's views on trans people, or at this point, on most things. Why can't we have nice things?).

I do not endorse the class-based dominance of elite institutions, but also,

And that probably the only time you'll hear someone compare John Oliver to John Robins (very different comedians, really), especially on a post that started out just being a way to share a video that's been taken off YouTube. Download the Google Drive link if you want to keep it, everyone. That was supposed to be the point of this post. It's a good video. It features Richard Ayoade and Matthew Holness and either that woman from Peep Show or her sister, I get them mixed up. And also it features John Oliver with, to be fair for one moment to that guy in 2006, quite Baddiel-like hair.

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cup1d-cafe · 3 months

Text

The Forces Of Destiny — Part IV :

"Sucked in"

- a fanmade ninjago season -

Word count: 1847

Warnings: none

The ninja entered Yuki’s office, pushing open the heavy mahogany door, their eyes immediately settled on the elaborate tapestry hanging on the northern wall. Intricate designs adorned the fabric, threads of history woven into it, the Dragonfly family symbol depicted above the mystic figure.

Yuki moved forward, gripping the fabric as she tugged on it, she turned her head towards Cole in a silent plea of help. Understanding, Cole approached the fabric, muscles flexing as she peeled the fabric away revealing the plain limestone brick wall. Confusion settled upon the ninja’s faces as they stared at the plain wall.

“Oh come on! Why does every ancient being have to speak in riddles? Why couldn't she just tell us the way to the Royal Archives normally.” Jay quaked, allowing his head to fall down as his shoulders slumped.

Nya moved past her boyfriend, closely examining the wall, running her fingers over the bumpy surface. “Maybe there's a hidden mechanism. Some sort of switch or a leaver.”

Lloyd joined her, knowing on the wall, listening intently for any hollow sound. “Maybe it's activated by a sound,” he thought out loud. “But then what sound could it be.” he finished his thought, bringing his hand to his chin thoughtfully.

“I'm starting to think this was all just a stupid trick.” Kai grunted, hitting his fist on the wall in frustration. “How are we supposed to solve a puzzle with no clues.”

Zane stood back with Yuki, observing the room with a calculated gaze. “Perhaps we need to think of the room as a whole, rather than just the northern wall itself.” Zane remarked, causing Yuki to sigh.

Yuki felt a growing sense of hopelessness overcome her, the determination in her eyes now replaced with deep-seated doubt. Her shoulders slumped, the room once filled with the possibility of hidden truths now seemed to mock her inability to find its secrets.

Despite the palace's regal splendour, at that moment it felt more like a dungeon of self-doubt. Her self disappointment only amplified as the realisation struck, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue - she couldn’t even find a place within her own home.

How can you be this useless?

With every unsuccessful attempt to solve the riddle, her inner turmoil heightened. Doubt whispered in her mind, questioning her capabilities and worthiness, the grandeur of her royal status seemed to be crushed.

Useless.

She watched the team persist in their efforts, their voices fading away into white noise as she looked outside the vast window. The moon, a silent companion, witnessed their efforts as it began to ascend over the horizon. The silvery glow melted through the window as it cast an ethereal radiance over the office, bathing the room in a celestial luminescence. Yuki glanced at the captivating display of light, watching the light dance with the shadows across the floor. Momentarily, a small flash of light seemed to reflect off the wall as the moon rose higher into the sky. A subtle sparkle, a gentle glimmer, almost invisible.

She narrowed her eyes as she spoke “ Everyone, move back.” her voice holding an unusual authority, one she reserved for parliament and official state gatherings. The ninja watched as she moved towards the wall, not daring to step in. Below the sparkle, the moonlight revealed the minute engraving on the wall.

“Only the light and the wand may open the door, for the moon is the one at the magics core.” she whispered, her fingers tracing the words.

A determined spark ignited itself within Yuki. Her friends watched intently as she retrieved her wand, an ancient heirloom passed down all the way from Queen Kaida, its significance in Kaida’s speech now falling into place. She held the wand up high, positioning the wand at a precise angle, allowing the crystal within her wand to reflect the moonlight just right. She aligned the moonlight with the place she saw shimmering on the wall, within seconds the place began to shine brightly, the engraving below illuminating with silver light; the lines flickered with ethereal brilliance as the room, once filled with uncertainty, now watched the enchanted transformation in front of them.

A low hum resonated throughout the room, everyone watched as the secret passageway revealed itself from the wall. The wall seemed to tear itself open, waking up from a long slumber as it groaned and twisted to reveal a primal staircase. A soft breeze filled the room, as if ancient secrets swept through the air.

The ninja started in astonishment, a sense of accomplishments and pride filling them. Yuki turned to Jay “Huh, maybe you were right Jay, turns out there is a secret chamber.” she teased, smiling sweetly to her friends.

Morro smirked, placing his hand on her shoulder “Atta girl.”

He moved forward, grabbing the ornate candle holder from Yuki’s desk, taking the lead down the twisted stairs. The rest of the team followed closely behind, the once concealed door sealing itself shut again.

They descended down the narrow, twisted staircase, their way illuminated by Morro’s candle and Yuki’s wand. The air grew colder with each step down, a slight fragrance of dust hanging in the atmosphere, the steep stairs seemed to wind endlessly into the cold abyss below.

The unknown stretched out in front of them, time felt suspended as they moved with purpose, a faint sound echoed through the passage. It was as if distant whispers of long forgotten voices spoke to them.

At last the ninja stood in front of a grand set of doors lined with ancient writings, their gazes travelled higher, taking in the entire entrance.

Yuki placed a gentle hand on one of the doors, she felt the magic surge within her, shocking through every vein in her body. A force opened her eyes, they shone a bright white as she pushed open the door, feeling the magic move faster in her. Her friends stood beside her in mild shock, of course they witnessed similar situations throughout their friendship, yet it still caused them to freeze every time.

They entered the expansive room, a sea of tables stretching across the entire room, covered in never ending parchment. The air was thick with magical ambiance as history seemed to write itself.

The team moved closer to one of the tables, watching as enchanted quills gracefully danced on the parchment, leaving intricate tales of the past on the pages. They marvelled at the mesmerising spectacle as they noticed a specific sentence be written in front of their eyes.

“The elemental masters of Magic, Energy, Water, Wind, Fire, Ice and Lightning enter the royal archives for the first time. They observe as history is written.” Zane reads out loud, turning to face the group, watching as chills run down everyone's spines.

“Uhhh that's freaky, let's keep moving.” Jay says, pushing the group along, clearly uncomfortable at the thought of his every action being recorded.

“This place must be enchanted by some spell, these quills are writing down the entire chronological unfolding history of Ninjago.” Yuki gasps, amazed by the magical powers present in the room.

“Let’s spread out, it seems like everything is organised chronologically.” Kai ordered, the rest of the team nodded simultaniasly.

They dispersed, desperate hands combing through the papers. Lloyd, guided by some intuitive force, approached a section; he swept all scrolls onto the ground, letting them hit the floor without any regard for the tender aged parchment.

Yuki turned her head at the sound of the falling paper, immediately scolding the blonde. “Careful Lloyd! Those might be important!”

“There's something here, i can feel it-” he searched further, finally finding the wall behind the shelf, ancient symbols etched into it “There! Over here!” he called, drawing everyone’s attention. Yuki approached closer, taking her place beside him as she traced her fingers over the symbols.

“It’s about my spellbook.” Her voice trailed off.

“Well what does it say!” Cole asked excitedly, urging Yuki to keep reading.

“It just says,” She squinted her eyes in the dim light “ The spell book keeps the master's memories as an extension. She who holds it in her embrace wields the record of the family's timeless grace. Known and unknown secrets are held, even those forbidden from being told.” she finished, an uncanny feeling taking over her.

“Yuki, your spell book!” Nya pointed to the spellbook tucked under Yuki’s arm, her eyes wide with realisation. “What if the answer is in the subtext of the book!” she rejoiced.

Suddenly, Yuki felt another surge of magic flow through her body, the pages of the spell book began to glow with a bright ethereal light, pulsating at the same rate as Yuki’s heartbeat.

The ninja watched in awe as light filled the room, the radiant glow intensifying with each second, bathing them in an otherworldly luminescence. Everyone exchanged puzzled looks, confusion and uncertainty etched in their eyes.

The spell book lifted off out of Yuki’s hands, astonished gasps filled the room as the pages fluttered vigorously. Yuki held her breath, eyes wide and mouth agape, this was not a chapter in her magical training.

“I'm not the Master of Magic, but I'm pretty sure a book isn’t supposed to be doing that.” Jay stated, his finger pointing at the book defying gravity.

“Yeah no shit sherlock” Kai responded, stepping back from the book.

Before anyone could think of reacting, a powerful vortex enveloped the ninja, the room blurred into a kaleidoscope of colours as an odd sense of weightlessness overcame their senses. It was as if they were being transported through the very fabric of reality.

Abruptly, they were deposited into a pile in the familiar space of Yuki’s bedroom. The sudden transition was disorienting, the group of friends untangled themselves, silently blinking in surprise. They looked around in bewilderment, exchanging slightly amused glances, the room erupted with laughter.

Everyone laughed at the unforeseen enchantment of the spell book, everyone but Yuki. An unusual silence fell like a heavy curtain, her purple eyes darting around her bedroom as her friends turned to her, their amusement quickly turning to concern, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in the seemingly familiar room.

What is this?

“This isn’t right.” Yuki mumbled, her voice carrying a sense of urgency that sent shivers down everyone's spines.

“Yuki, this is all just some weird magic. Right?” Lloyd spoke cautiously, his eyes narrowed slightly. “You’ve teleported before.”

Panic flashed across her face, she stood up abruptly, running to her bedroom window, the sunlight softly steaming in, painting warm shadows on her face.

Calm down.

The ninja watched her, a sudden realisation hit them like a bolt of Jay's lightning.

“It was evening just minutes ago…” Yuki gulped, a sense of uncanny valley settled over them.

“ Something’s off, I can't put my finger on it but something doesn’t feel right about your bedroom.” Kai added, scrutinising the room.

“That's because we're not in my bedroom.” Yuki started. She turned her head halfway away from the window just enough to face her friends as she continued “We’re in the memory of my bedroom.”

♧Masterlist♧

Summary: A mysterious rift between time and magic tears the fabric of the realms. Yuki, the master of magic, the purple ninja and the queen of ninjago, must find the powerful spell to fix this. In an unexpected twist, the team is transported into the depths of Yuki's spell book. The ninja must navigate through the chapters and memories of all the queens, finding the thing that is jeprodizing peace.

In a risky race, the ninja must piece together fragments of memories to uncover the truth. Will they succeed in fixing the rift? Or will Dark secrets unravel a mystery that changes the fate of everything?

Taglist: Open

@shatteredhope123 @spinjitzu-spy @stupidgayartkid @crikkit-kitterton @queenoftaslik @urkittybby

Feel free to ask to be added to the taglist!

#ninjago #ninjago rewrite #ninjago headcanons #ninjago oc #yuki dragonfly #lloyd garmadon #lego ninjago #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago lloyd #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #ninjago morro

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lauracarrot · 7 months

Note

"Yo, Laura. Wanna hang with me and the boyz. We're gonna go skating and see that new movie you've always wanted to see." Junior said, smiling at her.

Larry, Jimmy, and Mr. Lunt stood behind the asparagus, looking at the carrot all cool-like.

“Oh, hey Junior, hey The Boyz.” Laura said, looking surprised. “You mean the remake of the Titanic with Christopher Lloyd and Dwayne the Rock Johnson? Cool! Sounds neat! I guess I can skip school today. Oh, can we bring my (for the purposes of this thread) neighbor @thecharliepincher ?”

#veggie tales #veggietales rp

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maggotwithanf · 1 year

Text

“Your dad wasn’t a good person, Arcade.”

He looked downwards, at his boots, mired in the dirt. He didn’t look up. He didn’t look up for a long fucking time.

“I know.”

He tilted his head towards me, and his face was almost inscrutable, the glint of the plasma rifle reflecting off his glasses, but I could see the weight burrowing into his eyes.

“He might’ve been an okay guy, but-”

“-Nobody who’s capable of doing all that could possibly be a good person.” Arcade gulped. “...... I know. Nobody who did all that could..."

He sighed again, tracing a furrow in the dirt with his left boot. He crumpled his hands into a tight ball, twisting one finger over the other as he contemplated. “They all said he was a good guy, and he might’ve been, you know, he might’ve - he might’ve even been an okay dad.”

Arcade looked up, and this time I could see the gigantic, terrifying, scarred rift that tore across his face, split into an atomic fumble of regret and confusion and knowledge that, no matter what -

“ - he wasn’t a good person,” Arcade concluded, hanging his head again. “I guess it’s useless trying to think about what he wanted for me. I think it would’ve been - it would’ve been even harder to figure out who I am. But - you know, Lloyd, I’ve been - I’ve been thinking - what did he want me to be? I mean, I probably grew up to be his worst nightmare, right? How could someone people see so much good in choose to - I don’t know. I don’t know, Lloyd.”

He turned to me, straightening up, looking suddenly serious, gripping the sides of the crate we were sitting on with white knuckles. “Can you outgrow something like that? Can you fix something you didn’t know was broken until now?”

I bit my lip, trying not to heave a sigh too loud, knowing what came next. “Arcade... you’re way too smart for that. I think part of you always knew it was broken.” I tilted my head to face his, again. “I know what it’s like to want someone to tell you what they want, though. I wish I had people telling me what to do, sometimes. I don’t know who my dad was, but I hated what everyone else wanted me to be so much it didn’t matter. You didn’t. You have to come to terms with that. You have to come to terms with how, in the Enclave, you -”

“- were happy. Yeah. Yeah. I know.” Arcade buried his head in his hands. “I hated it, Lloyd. Not - not the people, but what they stood for. The second I got out of Navarro, started talking to the Followers - I knew the Enclave was a cult, I knew the NCR were one step away from fascists, I knew - Fuck, Lloyd. Fuck.” He buried his head in his hands again. “Can you ever make up for that? Can you even split that thread away from yourself if it’s part of what makes you who you are?”

“You don’t believe in that stuff.”

“I don’t. But it raised me.” Arcade took off his glasses and wiped his face with an errant coat sleeve, sighing.

#just a little arcade gannon angstfic short for your day #I had this conversation in my head the entire time I was wrapping up this quest #arcade gannon #fnv #fnv oc #fallout #fallout new vegas #fnv fic #lloydcade #fallout fanfic

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darkhymns-fic · 1 year

Text

I follow you like a star, so I can breathe you into my lungs

Colette lies to him once more. Lloyd can't let go.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters/Pairing: Lloyd Irving/Colette Brunel Rating: T Word Count: 1828 Mirror Link: AO3

Once again, Colette had lied to him.

With the chaos of all that had happened at the Iselia Ranch, it had been hard for Lloyd to just—settle. To just linger and pore over the storm that coiled inside his chest and made it ache whenever he thought of Colette. The weight of her body in his arms. How her hair cascaded to the ground. How her voice rose so high that it cracked, that it cowered, that it begged him to get away.

Rejection. Desperate, vicious rejection. It made his throat close, even as he could barely hold her for long, another pair of hands taking her away.

She doesn’t believe me, he thought.

He couldn’t bring himself to care how he might have looked to the others once he arrived home, with how quick he rushed up the wooden stairs. Even so, there was the acrid smell of Dirk working the forge, merging with the scent of pollen that blew in through the open windows. Lloyd climbed those same stairs the same way he had done for over a decade, but with Colette on his mind, remembering the glimpse of on his terrace.

The same way she had stood there on that night, that night she had also lied to him. Keeping secrets. Keeping him in the dark.

His boots stomped across the familiar, creaking bedroom floor. “Colette—”

And then the balcony doors shut. Sunlight dimmed, solely coming in from his window.

“Sorry,” was her first word to him. “The light makes it too easy to see.”

She was bright in the dark, her white overcoat drawing his eyes to her instantly—and a new dress, her old one already singed, probably thrown away. Yet her shoulders were hunched. A small thing that tried to delve further into the fabric, until she would be swallowed, until she would disappear, until there was nothing left.

“Let me look,” he said.

Colette raised her head, a fraction or so. Lloyd feared that she would face him with dread, or terror, as if he was like the rest of the world. But she kept her eyes closed as she turned, hands curled over the fabric of her overcoat. It wrinkled the blue threads woven into it. How careful she usually was, he remembered. The way Colette would hang the overcoat of her dress on a rack in her room, or fold it in an even square when they traveled. Instead, she wrenched it free over her head, throwing it to the side.

And the moment she did, she froze. Colette wrapped an arm around herself. “No,” she said. “I don’t want you to see.”

She doesn’t believe me.

“Colette, please,” he urged. Still, she shook her head, moving to a corner of his room. “Isn’t…isn’t that why you came up here?”

A pause. He heard something shake in her throat. “I changed my mind. I don’t want you to see me.”

“I already saw it!” he shouted. A wince. But the storm inside him hurt, hurt more than it ever did before, even more than when he found out about her waning humanity. “You really think I’d hate you over something like this?”

Colette bit her lip, staying within the corner. There was guilt in every motion of her, from her fingers clasping at the fringes of her dress to her bowed head.

It was like a cage; this fear, this guilt, all this pain. Lloyd felt helpless against it. He hadn’t turned away when it had been torn from her shoulder, the light refracting over a crystal surface. Yet still, she wouldn’t let him.

The storm again, it pulled him to her. It made him stretch out his hands, reaching for her own.

Colette gasped. Her touch was warm, her fingers grasping his in reflex. She could still feel him.

“Don’t you remember what I said before?” His voice shook, and his eyes felt hot. Only holding onto her hand kept him steady. “Just how many times do I have to keep saying it to you?”

“No, Lloyd. I can’t…I really can’t…”

“Colette! Please trust me!” His other hand placed itself on the wall, nails scraping the wood. “I can’t lose you again!”

“No! I just don’t want you to look!” It was almost, but not quite, how she had shouted before. Desperate and alone. “I messed up so much, and I don’t want you…to know…”

Quiet again. The walls rang from their voices, absorbed it, swallowed it. Feelings that were kept in the dark.

Lloyd breathed hard. He was making this worse. But how much did he have to knock at this wall around her to just tell him what was hurting her?

I’m hurting her, he realized.

What use was there in helping when he only made mistakes until even Colette could barely stand to look at him? Yet it didn’t make him let go of her. It didn’t make him step back. It seemed like the moment he’d turn around, she would run away, to hide, to waste away, to never be more than a memory again.

“I just want…you to tell me…” he whispered. Dirk had always said he got overheated too quickly, that he wore what he felt right on his sleeves. But he couldn’t be like Kratos, who held everything back, and he couldn’t be like Raine, who looked through all with a pragmatic lens. He could only feel everything like it was fire on his skin, that it would burst if he didn’t let the world know. If he didn’t let Colette know.

A shift of movement. Colette reached up with her free hand to her opposite shoulder—then paused.

“Colette?” he asked, and maybe he shouldn’t have. Already, he could feel her wanting to shrink and burrow underneath the earth. But with a held breath, she moved the dress past her shoulder, to reveal an array of bluish-green crystal. Somehow, even in the dark, it had its own barely visible light—like the Exspheres within the mines, pulsing like a heartbeat.

“There…It’s…what it is.” Colette’s voice struggled. He could hear the unspoken words of disgusting and hideous. It lingered at her throat, and it struck him with such stark self-hatred that he nearly didn’t know what to do.

Until she also said, “I’m sorry.”

This cage of fear, and guilt, and pain, through years of upbringing, through centuries of manipulation, through everything. He wanted to break it now more than ever.

But it did nothing to be angry.

Lloyd leaned close to her, bringing their clasped hands to lean against the wall, gently so. There was a hitch in her breath, though she didn’t move away. His head lowered down to her neck, to where the sea of crystal stretched from her shoulder, then down to her arm. It reminded him of the lake nearby, with the fireflies dancing across the water, with the moonlight reflecting off its surface.

“I wish you showed me before,” he said. He felt tired, feeling now the weight Colette had been carrying since the very beginning. “You always hide everything from me.”

Her hand gripped his tighter. “I didn’t even know where to begin.”

“Just with this.” His hand that had been clutching the wall shifted, moved to press against her cheek, eyes still riveted to her shoulder. “That’s all, Colette. That’s all you had to do.”

“It just…never seemed like I…” Colette shook, leaning into his touch, exposing more of her shoulder. She didn’t seem aware of it. “Lloyd, I wanted to…I really wanted to. It would hurt, and when I thought about telling you, it would hurt even more…”

All he ever did was hurt her.

Yet, knowing that, it didn’t stop him from kissing her shoulder. His lips pressed over the crystal, and maybe just then, he heard a sharp gasp of pain. More than just sensitive. It was like her own nerves were on fire, igniting at a touch of his, the parasite within punishing her for daring to feel something else.

He pulled away, but she grasped his arm to keep him close. “Don’t stop,” she begged him again. “I want to feel you.”

A pause, his breath dancing over her neck. “Doesn’t it hurt you?”

“Yes,” she said immediately—but didn’t let him go.

There was always good reason to keep her secrets from him. It was shown in the way he kissed her over the crystal once more, her body flinching from the contact. He still cradled her cheek, fingers sifting through her hair, his lips pressed firmer against her. It was different. It wasn’t like touching glass or feeling the curves of a gemstone. It hurt him too then, a spark from her crystallized skin that pricked his nerves.

He couldn’t stop himself. It was addicting. Electrifying. She breathed faster the harder he kissed.

“Colette,” he mumbled against her skin, staying close, pressing his body against hers. “Colette,” he begged, kissing from her hard skin to the softness of her neck, the pain not stopping, not completely. “Colette,” he called, tasting her from one texture to the next.

She didn’t say anything, but still she breathed, and shook, and clung to him tightly. Maybe for the first time, she was letting go.

Lloyd didn’t know enough self-control, his mouth sucking at her shoulder, then at her neck, until a small sound left Colette’s throat. It was enough to draw him to her lips, his tongue desperate for her, his breath hot and stuttering. I love you, he told her, in each kiss that lingered, in each kiss that took as much of her breath into his lungs. I want you, he confessed to her, reaching for her neck again, to taste both softness and pain that made them shake. I can’t lose you, he whined to her, and he knew it was pathetic, but pressing his teeth against her skin made his own nerves sing.

She was still here, living and breathing, even with a sickness ready to shut away her heart.

He’d kiss the entirety of her body if he could, following the river of her crystal down her chest and to her thighs. But inexperience made him weak, made him exhausted before he could only linger another kiss just against her neck, Colette’s sounds echoing against his teeth.

And when he was spent, when he had to lay his head against the wall to keep himself standing, he told her, “I’m sorry.”

Colette shook her head. She leaned in, kissing his mouth, barely a feather-touch. There were marks all around her neck, dark and nearly bruising. But when she smiled at him, it made her glow, far more than the crystal that ate away at her.

“Thank you,” he said, her voice barely above a whisper. But it lived in him, as it always did, as she always did. “For helping me remember that I’m alive.”

#tales of symphonia #lloyd irving #colette brunel #colloyd #fanfiction #one shot

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satansaidmyturnintheh3llscape · 2 years

Text

Everything Right/Wrong with Ninjago “Legacy of the Green Ninja” E5: Child’s Play

I have some very strong opinions about some of the events that transpire during this episode… Disclaimers: Show owned by LEGO. This is not a professional review/critique - it’s mainly intended for comedy.

Reblog, like, or comment for more!

- Intro ✅

- Last appearance of baby Lloyd’s title card😔❌

- I know I’m starting on my Lloyd stan BS a little early, even for me, but COME ON- not enough people talk about how heartbreaking this opening scene is. He just wants to play like the other kids!!! Just let him play for five minutes please😭 ✅

- Petition to see Lloyd info-dump to his siblings about comic books in modern Ninjago ✅

- “The fate of Ninjago rests on your shoulders. As the Green Ninja you have a giant responsibility to hold. I’m sorry, but you don’t have time for such childish things.” HE’S 8! ❌

- “Come on, pint-sized,” Pint-sized ✅

- *after jumping on the grundle bones* “This is not a solid plan, Cole.” Then why did you follow him? ❌

- Why did the generals even attempt to shove the sarcophagus through the sewer? ❌

- Oh no! They’ve turned the ninja into marketable plushies-

-Okay, fine… I’ll add a win for the compilation of ear-splittingly high pitched screams ✅

- I’d love to sin the excessive amount of voice-swaps in this episode, but unfortunately, due to the kid voices, I can’t even tell half of who’s saying what in the first place, and trying to figure it out is giving me a migraine, and that in itself is a sin ❌

- “Perhaps Garmadon succeeded in turning back the clock…” “Yeah but nindroids don’t turn into kids…” AU where this episode is the same EXCEPT Zane got turned into a pile of lifeless scraps that the ninja had to carry around in a backpack the whole time ❌

- “What do ya got on, apple dumpling gang? Pajamas?” Apparently, the ninja’s suits are so low quality that they can be mistaken for pajamas ❌

- Also, apple dumpling gang ✅

- “Our spinjitzu doesn’t work!” Looked fine to me, at least long enough for the cops to see it and realize something was up ❌

- The cops picked up the ninja at night, and now it’s the next morning. They think these are actual kids, so why are they just now trying to call their parents? And who are they gonna call? Did the ninja give them a phone number? ❌

- Actually, why don’t the ninja just give them Wu’s number so that he can come pick them up? Surely he’s seen weirder things than his pupils turning into kids; I doubt he’d just ignore the call, especially if the ninja’s names were dropped ❌

- Ninja change clothes directly behind this group of young kids ❌

- ^ You may think the phone dangling is just a gag, but it’s actually a clever way to symbolize how the fandom is hanging on by a thread as we wait for the rest of Crystalized to drop ✅

- The TV in Buddy’s Pizza is playing the clips from the pilot that show how each the ninja met Wu. Where could anyone have gotten the footage for that? The fandom in REAL LIFE can barely find those episodes! ❌

- “You’re… SMALL!” Unsupervised 8 year-old walks into a public pizza place with nunchucks, shurikens, a sword and a scythe but him raising his voice is what draws attention? ❌

- “Yeah, but you don’t know the Grundle.” And you do? The only research you did was listen to Garmadon plagiarize a lecture from the History Channel ❌

- “I think I know just the guy…” Please don’t bring them to a dr*g dealer please don’t bring them to a dr*g dealer please don’t-

- “You brought us to a comic book store?!?!” Was that much not clear from the massive “Doomsday Comix” sign out front? ❌

- “If anyone knows how to defeat a monster that doesn’t exist, I know just the person to talk to.” D*mmit, Lloyd! What did I just say about bringing them to a dr*g dealer?!

- The ninja spend this entire episode making fun of Lloyd for reading comic books despite the fact that they are (near) adults who still play video games. Fun fact: there is nothing wrong with either of these things, but it still makes the ninja hypocrites for trying to claim one is fine when the other isn’t ❌

- “Fellas, meet Rufus McAllister, AKA, Mother Doomsday!” Oh, thank god. Not a dr*g dealer… just a Marvel fan. Wait, that might be worse…

- “Well, if it isn’t Lloyd Hemorrhoid Garmadon!” ⬇️

- ^��

- Also, I thought Lloyd didn’t have friends? Granted, from that nickname, doesn’t sound like were friends, but still ❌

- F*cking illumi-swords??? I’d genuinely rather get sued for saying “lightsabers” than have to actually call something an illumi-sword ❌

- Mystake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ✅

- I get it’s life and death and all, BUT the ninja still steal (and ultimately break) four illumi-swords, and they never actually pay for those autographed suits ❌

- Also, episode expects me to now carry on the season with the knowledge that the 4 ninja are wearing cheap copies of their previous suits, with their OWN autographs on them ❌

- The Grundle takes a ridiculously long time to eat the ninja… no wonder it went extinct ❌

- “You’ll miss out on the rest of your childhood, dude. We can’t do that to you!” The problem is that Lloyd’s already missing out on his childhood, and realistically that probably won’t change, regardless of some magical age-up, but the episode never touches on that at all ❌

- “Fair? Fair isn’t a word from where I come from!” ✅

- “They are the real ninja” Yeah, no sh*t dude! ❌

- I love how weirded out the ninja look about older Lloyd ✅

- I’m gonna say it: his hair still f*cking sucks ❌

- “You can have my copy of Starfarer. You deserve it.” “That’s okay, I already know how it ends.” If people stopped watching a series because they already got spoiled about it then I can guarantee Ninjago would not have a fandom, especially in the U.S.❌

- Okay, look… I hate the age up. I wish it didn’t happen, mostly because it was kinda treated like the same situation as a young adult needing to grow up (“there comes a time we all must grow up”) and Lloyd is a child. He has a responsibility, yes, and his circumstances force him to grow up early, but he should still be allowed to enjoy whatever childhood he has left, because he’s not going to get that back. Even if they kept the age-up in, the better resolution for this episode should’ve been the ninja letting Lloyd have the comic so that he can read it in his off time. ❌

- Further, it’s treated as if the concept of “all work, no play” is a healthy mindset/work ethic, which it’s NOT. Nonstop training all day shouldn’t be Lloyd’s reality because it isn’t healthy, regardless of age. People are known to perform better when given breaks, so let him have some breaks! ❌

- That being said, this entire ending monologue with the comic book-style art of Lloyd vs. Garmadon is so f*cking cool. I want this art as a poster! ✅

- “Yes, the time until the Final Battle has grown shorter… but the Green Ninja has grown stronger.” ✅✅✅✅✅✅

Sentence: Lloyd kinnies’ tears

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago jay #ninjago kai #ninjago nya #ninjago cole #ninjago zane #ninjago sins/wins #kid lloyd

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byneddiedingo · 1 year

Photo

Emiko Yagumo and Tokihiko Okada in That Night's Wife

Tatsuo Saito in I Flunked, But....

Tokihiko Okada in Tokyo Chorus

Early Ozu

The films of Yasujiro Ozu are the perfect exemplar of that powerful task of motion pictures: to enlarge human sympathies. Ozu typically does it by working in his characteristic milieu: the family. Most of us have families, and when we don't (or when we recognize intolerable flaws in the ones we find ourselves in), we form something to substitute for them: clubs, cliques, fraternities, political parties. These three silent movies, lesser or little-known parts of Ozu's oeuvre, shine with their director's deep understanding of human connections. They also document the impact of the Great Depression, not just on Japan but on daily lives around the world. Two of them are about actual nuclear families, the other about a kind of surrogate family. They range from crime melodrama to slapstick comedy to a domestic drama threaded through with humor. All of them reveal Ozu's knowledge of American genre film as well as his ability to transform the generic into the personal. That Night's Wife (1930)

Cast: Mitsuko Ichimura, Tokihiko Okada, Chishu Ryu, Tatsuo Saito, Emiko Yagumo, Togo Yamamoto. Screenplay: Kogo Noda, based on a novel by Oscar Schisgall. Cinematography: Hideo Shigemura. That Night's Wife begins with a touch of gangster film as we watch the police patrolling the nighttime streets, rousting a homeless man from his perch between the towering columns of a building, then witness a daring robbery of an office by a man masked with a bandanna and the police pursuit that follows. But we gradually learn that the man (Tokihiko Okada) has committed the robbery because he has a sick child and can't pay the doctor. Most of the film takes place in his small apartment, where his wife (Emiko Yagumo) is tending to the child, who the doctor says will be all right if she survives the night. Then a detective (Togo Yamamoto), who has posed as a cab driver and brought the man home, arrives. There's a standoff between the couple and the detective in which, after trying to stay awake all night, the detective prevails. But the film ends with an unexpected turn that in other hands might come off as sheer sentimentality but in Ozu's manages to feel like the working out of an ethical dilemma. I Flunked, But.... (1930)

Cast: Tatsuo Saito, Kaoru Futaba, Kinuyo Tanaka, Tomio Aoki. Screenplay: Akira Fujimi, Yasujiro Ozu. Cinematograpy: Hideo Shigehara. Production design: Yonekazu Wakita. Film editing: Hideo Shigehara.

I Flunked, But.... is almost a tonal antithesis to That Night's Wife, a lively comedy about college students trying to pass their college exams by cheating. It centers on a group of five who live together as a surrogate family, looked over by their landlady (Kaoru Futaba), a pretty waitress (Kinuyo Tanaka) in the next-door cafe, and the landlady's small son (Tomio Aoki). One of the techniques they use to cheat is to have one of the group write out the answers on the back of his shirt: that way, the student sitting behind him can lift up the other's jacket and copy what's written. Unfortunately, the landlady picks up the cheat shirt with the other laundry and the plot is foiled. Moreover, Takahashi (Tatsuo Saito), the student chosen to wear the shirt, is the only one who fails the exam. But it turns out a year later that the others who graduated have been unable to find jobs, so Takahashi is no worse off than they. Just as That Night's Wife displayed the influence of American gangster films, I Flunked, But.... shows that Ozu had seen American films about college students, like Harold Lloyd's The Freshman (Fred C. Newmeyer and Sam Taylor, 1925). Ozu's college students hang banners from American universities like Michigan and Yale on their walls, along with American movie posters -- which are also a striking presence on the walls of the couple in That Night's Wife, whose protagonist seems to be an artist of some sort. But I Flunked, But.... is most notable for the sense of camaraderie among its students, who practice their own brand of silly walks and comic dances. Tokyo Chorus (1931)

Cast: Tokihiko Okada, Emiko Yagumo, HIdeo Sugawara, Hideko Takamine, Tatsuo Saito, Choko Iida, Takeshi Sakamoto, Reiko Tani, Chishu Ryu. Screenplay: Kogo Noda, based on a novel by Komatsu Kitamura. Cinematography: Hideo Shigehara. Film editing: Hideo Shigehara.

Tokyo Chorus is the most subtle and complex of the three films, and it serves as a kind of unintended linking between the other two: It begins with a group of college students gathering to rehearse some kind of drill routine under the direction of a teacher, Mr. Omura (Tatsuo Saito). It's a rebellious group, and one of the ringleaders is Shinji (Tokihiko Okada). Some years later, we find Shinji as the father of three small children, the oldest of whom, a boy (Hideo Sugawara), demands a bicycle for his birthday. (Children in Ozu's films are often bossy little brats.) But Shinji has a quixotic streak, and when he learns that one of his fellow employees, a man just a year away from retirement, has been fired, he confronts the boss and gets fired, too. (There is a very funny scene in which Shinji and the boss angrily poke at each other with folding fans.) Things go from bad to worse for Shinji's family -- his wife (Emiko Yagumo) is upset when he has to sell her kimonos to pay hospital bills after their daughter gets sick. The Depression has deepened -- there is an English subtitle that refers to the failure of "Hoover's policies," which makes me wonder if that was an exact translation. One day, after a disappointing visit to the employment office, Shinji runs into Mr. Omura, who has quit teaching and now runs a restaurant, The Calorie Café, which serves large, filling portions of curry rice. If Shinji will come help him at the restaurant, Omura says, he'll use his connections with the Department of Education to try to find Shinji a job. Shinji's wife is shocked to find her husband walking the streets with a large banner and handing out leaflets advertising the café, but when she realizes how desperate he has become, she too agrees to help out at the restaurant. All ends well when Omura's old students gather for dinner at the Calorie Café and Omura reveals that he has come through with a job for Shinji. It means that Shinji and his family will have to move to a remote corner of Japan, but they reassure themselves that they'll be able to return to Tokyo some day.

#That Night's Wife #I Flunked But...#Tokyo Chorus #Yasujiro Ozu #Emiko Yagumo #Tokihiko Okada #Tatsuo Saito

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