#may's random personal shit

[rouge-the-bat]

can ppl let others have time to have fun for a while without reminding them of awful shit going on, insisting they "cant forget" that these things are happening. as if just going around being silly and enjoying yourself for a while means youre ignoring the suffering of the whole world 🙄

#you dont have to have this shit on ur mind 24/7 #it doesnt make you a bad person to not be expending your thoughts and energy on bad stuff all the time #people NEED breaks. if you see people having fun and go ''but dont forget [bad thing]'' that IS fucked up #people can have fun without completely forgetting whats going on in the world #its just another form of guilt tripping even if thats not the intention #also tumblr isnt using april fools to try to make people forget the transphobic shit theyre doing #this is just a yearly thing they do. they do silly shit every april fools. theres not an agenda to it. not everything is done maliciously #give people time to be silly for a while then get back to fighting injustice later (given they have the time/energy) #okay. relax for a while. putting down the pitchforks for a party popper and boops isnt going to destroy activism #*also not to say some tumblr staff may not be Hoping itll make people forget or something but like #that doesnt mean thats the purpose of the april fools shit. its not a random sudden new thing theyre doing for the purpose of distraction

[noisytenant]

Being reminded once again that a lot of people have fucking sleeper cell agent triggers that make them instantly fail to see the human being in front of them, regardless of any personal history they have or any rapport. instantly, that person is an Enemy that cannot be reasoned with. Permanent fight or flight.

And that instead of this being seen as, you know, a rather maladaptive attitude to bring to your relationships that will permanently strip you of the capacity to experience full love and companionship, there is a dominant strain of thinking that this is a reasonable, righteous, moral good.

That a "boundary" looks like building an impenetrable wall that nobody can see but you; That conversation, negotiation, and collaboration aren't just avoided--They're treated with contempt. The very notion of trying to understand why another human being that you care about may suddenly act in an unpleasant or even monstrous way is spat upon and trampled underfoot. Complete abandonment is considered a first line of defense rather than a last resort.

I think we all need to do our best to get over this kind of thinking. And I don't mean that we should be push-overs; In actuality, moving away from this kind of rigid "boundary" often means advocating for yourself and fighting for what you think is right. I think we all deserve friends and allies who can compassionately challenge us when we adopt ways of thinking and behaving that hurt others without immediately assuming the worst.

#indexed post #Nothing happened to me specifically just pissed due to events in the orbit #The only qualifier I'll include here is that we have limited energy and this is specifically geared toward people you have a relationship w/ #I think random strangers also deserve respect and compassionbut I'm not taking the time to give it to em. That's another person's problem #Also don't give me any 'yeah except for x' shit. I do think if we were able to perfectly know the heart of a person #and see that they are causing or wish to cause harm and refuse to change course at all #Then yeah sure we can say that there's a hard line #But I think very often peoples' convictions are more complicated and contradictory than they may seem #And we cannot rewrite someone's entire experience and nuance with one data point we arbitrarily decide is 'too far' #Anyways this is just a rant it's not the best thesis or anything but hope it resonates or stirs some thought

[yeetus-feetus]

Just saw someone say that stephcass shippers don't care about Cass beyond Stephanie because "she's nothing but that White Girl's accessory". And they were so... Aggressive about it.

Babes not only are you completely wrong. Ur also probably white so ...

Anyways I started shipping stephcass because of my love of Cass. She deserves happiness and I want to see her smile while being embraced by someone she trusts and loves.

And that doesn't even have to be Steph. I'm a Multishipper anyways. I just want my girl to be happy. With whoever she chooses in the stories we create for her, she deserves that.

Also, Steph doesn't deserve any kind of slander for being shipped with Cass just because she's white.

In fact, discouraging representation of interracial couples is pretty racist of you? What you want Cass to date another Asian instead of a white girl just because she's Chinese?

Like what even made you jump to the conclusion that Steph would only see Cass as an accessory?

No actually, let's look at this real quick. Because the conception of Asian women being nothing more than accessories when in a relationship with a white person is so fucked up. What deep rooted subconscious racism do you need to unpack?

I am so sick of that assumption being everyone's first fucking thought when they see an Asian/White couple.

Cass is just as much an equal in her relationship with Steph as she would be with any other decent character.

Seriously, I want to pick at your brain. Maybe see if I can rewire a few things.

... Though honestly what was I even expecting when DC bases their characters on harmful stereotypes anyways. I should have expected something like this.

#sorry for the rant #I really let this one random person get to me #cassandra cain #stephcass #it is 1am #No I'm so upset because imagine if this bitch somehow came across me and my ex gf and started saying shit like that #I know it's definitely been whispered about my parents and it's disgusting and not true #i may be projecting #... okay I'm definitely projecting

[softesttangerines]

As someone who LOVES a good old time travel au, and after seeing amazing fanart of kid!Mihawk i have to let it out!!

I just wanna read a time travel fic where baby Mihawk wakes up and finds himself in the world of adult Mihawk and he's like wtf is going on?

And word goes around that a kid that looks exactly like Hawkeyes and carries the same cross knife as him is roaming around this island and rumors say it's the son he abandoned to fend for himself.

And so, marines and every pirates he ever wronged come after him for revenge and the little guy is just thinking why is everyone trying to get me? While doing his best with his cross dagger to rid of them.

And Shanks, good ol' shanks could have sworn that if his old rival had an 9years old, he would know about it (also he refuses to let the bitter taste in his heart take over unless his own eyes see) so he's skeptical about the whole thing and that's the only thing that gets him to leave his hideout in a reclused ghost island waiting for whatever is his big plan to take place.

News say Red Shanks is on the move after being mia for a few years and everyone got their panties in a twist, what could have raised the emperor from the dead.

He follows from island to island because apparently the young boy knows how to avoid the marines and pirates coming after him.

Till one night, on their stop at some bar on an island that wasn't really on the plan, he sees the boy. Just outside the bar in an alley, where he went to empty his guts from the booze overfilling his body, there stood bloody faced, cross dagger in one hand, a tiny version of his old rival with a bounty hunter's body at his feet.

The boy furrows his eyebrows even more at the new arrival and strikes another pose in case the new guy tries something funny. But Shanks, drunk ass Shanks, who knows his rival by heart is a 100% sure the little guy is in fact his rival for whatever magical reason, there he stands in front of him in the form of an 9years old and Shanks giggles at that -to which the child takes great offense- and just say "hey kid, i'm a friend of your dad's, want me to take you to him?"

#mishanks #Ok so here I'm running with the fandom's theory that rayleigh is mihawk's dad #And after getting all these murder attempts on his person he's just so fckn tired of anyone that approaches him So he's completely on guard #when this red haired dude comes out of nowhere n tells him he knows his dad #Which no one did before all they did was charge at him screaming HAWKEYES YOU'RE GONNA REGRET WHAT YOU DID #And here's the thing #he may be inclined to believe the red haired guy because no one knows his relation to rayleigh #so this guy must really know his dad and he's tired of running all the time he just wants his bed and parents #so cut him some slack when he follows a random one armed red haired pirate #On the other hand the crew is equally creeped out and charmed by the little fella because even young he still installs the chills in them #How can he be as equally as skilled as he is cuuuuute #They try their best not to say it to his face because he threatens to stab them at any given chance but they cant HELP IT #it's Dracule Fucking Mihawk as an 9years old!!!! Ofc he's cute #Shanks cant fucking wait to get his adult Mihawk back to tease the shit out of him about the little version of him lol #When they got him to rayleigh he fckn cried because that's his fckn son znd the last time he saw hus baby that way was more than 30years ag #Mihawk is just confused as fuck why is his dad's grey n have much more wrinklesBut it's still one familiar face so he just sticks to him #The red haired pirate keeps telling him that he should look for him when he gets home but he doesn't understand!!! #He also keeps challenging shanks on a duel once he discovers he's a swordsman and keeps on losing #And truth be told shanks is embarrassed as fuck because it took him his rival being a child for him to win over mihawk #opla #one piece #mihawk #dracule mihawk #red haired shanks #shanks

[k-yujin]

read the tags !! // officially quit

#⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ​⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ #ok first of all why am i writing in tags you may ask #well i find it less awkward to express in my tags rather in the actual post it self since im one hell of an awkward piece of shit hihi #ANYWAY TO THE TOPIC OF ME QUITING #this has been very long due #like i mean everyone has to have seen it coming #specially since i dont post as frequently and j lost most of my motivation #one. because school is my current priority (teachers pet ang peg HAHAH CHARIZ) #two. is my personal life !!! i’ve been vry vry busy keeping up with irl frends and also my family #but the main reason had to be my lack of motivation as in its non existent #next topic !!! #i will be deleting most of my asks and random posts soem of which are memorable to me will be rbloged to @diorasz my personal acc ! #ah and yes will i be coming back? #probably will be lurking time to time but who knows i might actually come back on joshuas bday solely to post a joshua mb HAHAHAHA #ilovemyman frr #I WAS SUPPOSED TO POST THIS ON THE DAY JOSHUA ACTUALLY POSTED ON HIS IG #ok im getting sooooo off topic #but like hooray my last theme is actually jjong toram HAHAH #i actually quited before november like the end of oct but i was too lazy to make a post about it hehehe #but luvi knew ofc :> #anyway if were close moots frel free to add me in discord not like im actually really active #@stariaz. 🤓 #who knows i might actually take this back if suddenly the little devil inside me decides to revive itself #anyway this is user k-yujin offically(?) signing off 🤓🤓 #ALSOOO DOESNT MEAN I QUITED PPLCAN USE MY STUFF W/O GIVING CREDS !!! (ehem ehem my dividers 👁) #please give creds or i will literally come alive #i still have someone who acts as my eyes here even though j wont post no more #guys i have to wake up at 5 am gud night 🤩 #also i cut my hair 😶 #thabks for 3.4k though 🫵🫵

[laugtherhyena]

3:23AM, time to post Hatamori fankid and retreat back into my hiding hole

#this is what i was referring to in my last post #sometimes ideas will just pop into my head and i will be unable to resist the urge #i missed sprite editing. it had been a while since i last made a person's sprite #anyways her name is Akira and I haven't decided if it's Akira Tomori or Akira Hatano yet #i like both of their surnames a bunch #thinking of her from a scenario where Ayame and Kizuna survive the kg and get together a while afterwards #Akira is adopted. obviously. Her biological parents died in the tragedy she was adopted at around 4-6 years old #doesn't remember how her bio parents where because she was like? 1-2 years old when they died? #being with them in whatever happened that led to their deaths she may have some form of memory problem from the accident(?) #Akira is pretty forgetful and slow on the uptakes. but it's nothing too worrisome #she doesn't actually care that she can't remember her bio parents because the family she has now is much more important to her #she takes more after Kizuna especially in tems of personality (tho definitely not as bad as she used to be in Dra if you know what i mean) #put them in a room together and they will gossip and talk about random shit for hours #she loves Ayame too! they just don't talk a much? Akira used to follow her everywhere when she was a kid but now that she grew up #Ayame being the awkward-ish person she is struggles a bit on how to talk/interact with her #they work out together sometimes and Ayame will always volunteer to listen to Akira play some new song she's writing #and give her opinions on it #as you can see she is a musician. aspiring rockstar specifically #this came to her as a way to vent about the tragedy and all that mess sorta #may ramble more some other time i am getting sleepy #dra #danganronpa another #fankid #hatamori #sprite edit #edit #hyena scribbles #Akira Tomori Hatano

[bitegore]

idk about the rest of you but i genuinely don't make decisions high that I wouldn't make sober

#half because i think about things when i do them by either a) no thought instant impulse straight to action OR b) very close overthinking #and drugs dont usually do anything besides make me do more of one or the other #i dont really Do 'back off bc nervous' *except* when under the influence tbh bc i overthink tapping the brakes #so like i'm more likely to be like 'may be i shouldn't get an impulse tattoo from this random person' while high than sober #this is a me problem #other half is just because i will commit to such dumb shit anyway and have enough wrong with me that my sober instincts and desires are #p much totally in line with my influenced ones as far as i've seen #im never sobering up like 'what was i thinking' i always know what i was thinking ans usually im like 'yeah good call' about it #being DRUNK is the only one I don't really feel that way about and is because it's bad for my mental health but like ive never really done #something while drunk i wouldn't do while sober either i just usually feel a little off kilter about it #red rambles

[drosims]

seeing ppl praise a creator, calling them lovely and shit, when you know first hand that said creator is an abhorrent POS is 🤮🤮🤮 i and multiple other people have actual ptsd from how said creator (who we considered a close friend) treated us. i know she got all ya'll fooled and it's not ya'll's fault because she presents SO differently than she really is. and if you were currently considered a friend she'd be able to convince you to believe she did nothing wrong because she is an abusive manipulator and she is good at it. She is 100% why I don't engage in the community anymore. I cant go through anything like that again.

#if you're in my discord you likely know who im talking about #i dont wanna be vague but because i have no screenshots or anything for proof i dont want to directly call her out #since i cant present proof i cant truly prove it and like any random person would be in the right not taking me at my word without proof #oh also i know for a fact she steals meshes from “friends” and claims them as her own #:) #yeah she's a MAJOR piece of shit #sorry i dont post much here anymore #i miss it but i see her mentioned EVERYWHERE and i just cant #its literally triggering #which may sound dramatic but if you knew th efull story you'd know

[clits-and-clips]

x

#txt #tw #dont read this and i may delete but i just need to say it #i do think about dying a lot #like i dont want to be here lol #people suck big time #everyone here is so nice and lovely and supportive #but you arent physically near me and i guess thats what i need #idk #and i cant just message randoms with all my personal shit all the time #unless i can? idk #the main reason i wont kms is cause my dad wouldnt be able to handle it hes lost too much #i think hed prolly follow suit #and i cant have that #plus other things like my pets etc #but what is the fucking point lol #i know eventually ill move on etc #but the world sucks man #it sucks #i have a good life but my brain sucks and i ruin everything and no one sticks around and i am just a fucked up friend and partner and i dont #see myself getting better #if i told my psych i think about this id get sent off and i think that would make me worse #i just want the future back that i thought i was going to have #that was ripped away from me without warning #no conversation #nothing #and he gets mad at me when i bring that up?????? #yeah its so fair you kicked me out etc but im the bad guy for airing my feelings #fuck everyone tbh haha #im just done

[dykerachelduncan]

i do not feel like a real person rn

#two days of barely moving my body sleeping too much shit weather i think i may be a little depressed #anyways itll all be fixed bc im gonna have a nice dinner made by my gf then im gonna shower and wash my hair then im gonna watch some tv #then go to bed at a reasonable hour and hopefully tomorrow i feel even better #i also desperately need to do some stretches my body feels so stiff and sore :( #legit if i don’t stretch everyday i feel shit i actually love stretching and loosening up my body #text tbd #lmao some random person relogged this wtf leave my personal posts alone please

[theflyingfeeling]

me in the Olli/Allu delelu land trying to explain how Olli acting weird and Aleksi suddenly smoking and them secretly glancing at each other must be all connected somehow

because they ARE!! 😭 we may be yet to connect the dots, but we're getting there okay, we're not crazy 😤

(don't forget the sunglasses!! I haven't figured out how but I just know they're somehow relevant in all this as well 😤 he just seems weirdly attached to them (and the bandana around his neck which he's been wearing in literally every picture we've seen of him for almost two weeks now?? not counting the pictures taken in the pool) like, did he pay and arm an a leg for them (I'm not sure if he's worn that exact pair before? I may be wrong though lol I often am with stuff like this) and justified the purchase to himself by swearing he'd wear them every chance he gets for the rest of the year lol

#the rest goes in the tags because okay fine i MAY be just a little bit crazy sdgjsdjgsgdsg but hear me out alright #let's say aleksi used to smoke but quit because it's unhealthy #now why do people usually relapse with smoking? #for fun ig but he's said many times he's trying to be healthier. dude won't drink pepsi with caffeine in it but cigarettes are fine? 🙄 #sure the reasons are individual but at least in my mother's case it was often when she felt stressed out about random shit #so perhaps aleksi took up smoking again because something's stressing him out / making him anxious / worrying him #it could be the tour but it's not like they haven't been on tour in the US before so why would he be particularly stressed out about that? #could be something work-related but unrelated to the band. a project he had to put on hold because of the tour? #because from what i've understood the HU supporting gig happened on quite a short notice #tbh that alone could very legitimately be a cause of stress on its own. not enough time to prepare? not enough time to spend with the fam? #(perhaps if you weren't streaming every other evening...🙄) #or maybe he's just jetlagged and nicotine is his remedy of choice? #ooooooorrr it could be something related to his personal life. hard to say what though. a sudden change? general anxiety? #he doesn't /seem/ particularly anxious though but the hell would i know #so... aleksi taking up bad habits + olli's weird behaviour + secret glances and maybe low-key avoiding each other = ??? #my theory is still that they hooked up and are now forced to deal with the consequences 😶 #''how are they avoiding each other exactly?'' one might ask and worry not! i am prepared for counterarguments! ☝️ #to put it briefly: the delulu in me says so 😌 #(this applies to everything i wrote above 😂 i'm writing this just for my and y'all's entertainment you know) #ollixallu #answered asks #sparfloxacin

[strawberries-n-ships87]

All I ever do is what ppl ask of me and the second I say “no, sorry I can’t” ppl get mad at me

Like sorry but I can’t always do everything jfc

#i may be overreacting #but this is in response to coming in to work for someone two hours early bc the person has to drop their kid off #like you knew you had to drop him off why didn’t you plan ahead #and why am I always the one being asked to do shit like this for others #I say yes all the time but today i said no I couldn’t and they just got mad and ignored me #telling me to come in as soon as possible #anywayyyys lol #vent #random

[jaqdawks]

I swapped the placement of tumblr and reddit on my phone so I use tumblr more. But now every now and then I’m like “oh I really wanna look at tumblr” instead of passively tapping where reddit used to be I have to intentionally open tumblr and I get a bit confused for a minute

#I would just passively scroll Reddit #and at some point I was like “man I still want this app because sometimes I need to harass the book binding subreddit to help me figure out #what I did wrong but I don’t wanna use that app so much anymore as filler for boredom’’ #so I swapped them because stuff I see on tumblr I tend to rlly enjoy n shit #like oh yes I will take some cool fanart for a thing I’m not really into but can still dig #and why yes I will take an interesting long post on a random subject #and I still get my fill of people being a little silly and making fools of themselves #Also reddit just has a uhhh #more aggressive user base almost? #which I feel like may be encouraged by the ability to downvote #but like. minority do dumb thing may only be put into retrospect a few comments down and that’s it #if I see a kind of funky post I can directly promote a person who is putting it into retrospect #also shouting into the wind has a far less direct means of getting a response #I can go crazy in the tags and it’ll mostly be okay

[transsexual-terabyte]

yuo would not believe how many times we've gotten broken into this year...

#not even just the house either. like. the storage unit we keep most of our shit at too???? #and some of the places we go a lot that have our personal info. #erm...?? starting 2 think it may not be random #and might be. targetted #an e way #oeace abd love

[roostertuftart]

Look I dont think youre wrong about people not listening to jewish voices but I am uncomfortable with you advocating so strongly for some groups while being shitty with others like when you liked a post by a racist justifying their use of the nword in the past and never talked about it. Jewish people need to be spoken for but how you pick and choose is suspicious and you cant expect other people to admit their biases when you cant admit your own.

??? Are you seriously trying to say that my concern for someone who was clearly in the midst of a mental breakdown makes it so that I can't support another person trying to speak about how depictions of a character are somewhat problematic???? This is. pathetic but thanks for trying to word it in the most uncharitable way possible lol.

edit: god i definitely worded these tags aggressively so I'm probably gonna make a real apology though I'm not even certain I did what anon is accusing me of??? either way my aggression is more towards them for trying to twist this situation so grossly and not towards anyone genuinely affected by whatever I apparently did (And I am not denying I did... I genuinely don't remember but like... Yeah it was definitely not great on my part if I did what they're saying even if my intentions were different, and the fact that I'm unsure is evidence enough to me that I might have)

Moreover, i have a hunch this anon has sent me bait before and I think it's nasty they're trying to twist an issue about antisemitism into whatever stupid beef they have with me. like... nasty.

Final edit: Any more asks from this anon are being deleted. I wouldn't have even published this one but I feel like that would be sort of hiding any wrongdoing i may have done at any point, but I genuinely do not believe this person means anything they're saying and are only doing this because for whatever reason they do not like me. and I. do not care lol

#if anyone wants to know context... There was a user who i will not name who had been going downhill for months #and this person had never been like... nasty or bigoted or anything in the past #but had began posting about being extremely suicidal and planning such. and a lot of other really dark hopeless shit #and suddenly started to post really bigoted but kind of deranged shit that like... clearly not of their actual beliefs but just. god idek #i've been around a ton of people who have had nervous break downs and the likes. and i was positive they were going through that #i still think it must have been. idk for sure but like. damn it was so sudden a shift #and with all of the suicidal stuff they posted i was gen really worried and I DMed them trying to support them multiple times` #because like! i'm sorry you've never dealt with anyone who isn't well but sometimes extremely mentally ill people do random fucked up #shit that may not be okay and they may need to be held accountable for but goddamn i was legitimately worried they were gonna off #themselves? idr liking their posts. i'm not gonna deny i did. I might've just to show them that i wasn't ignoring whatever shit they were #going through to make them suddenly act so erratic and irrational #if you wanna hold that against me #fine. i really don't care #looking back i probably should've kept my concern for them within dms and i can definitely recognize how my public support might come off #as support for what they said or posted and i do genuinely apologize for that... tbh if people really think it's necessary I will turn #these tags into a cleaned up apology like... i'm not saying that i handled that great #but to act like it's as simple as i supported a racist saying the n word? uhh??? no?? and you know that's not what happened #but please try to paint me as bad as possible lmao. just throw out accusations or assumptions of my intentions. #i'm apologizing rn to anyone genuinely affected by that stuff but you didn't ask this out of concern anon #ask #anon

[chqnified]

The feeling of: yeah! I might be getting a proper job, one of those fancy 'life long' careers people talk about!!!

And also the feeling of: but. What do you mean.

#the realisation is hitting. and too fast #I'm going to start FINALLY learning to drive. I'm doing stuff by myself. applying for a job by myself. a fancy full time job at that. #i think realisation hit because i had to go get a bloodtest done by myself. mum was at work and so couldn't hold my hand. #dad was unwilling to go in with me #you know. i surprised myself. i managed to not only converse with the nurse!!! but also not fight her when i saw the needle!!! #and I didn't cry or scream #you may be laughing. but last time. around 5 months ago. i did almost cry and nearly passed out #big steps. #but again. it dawned on me as i was with friends doing regular adult shit. those boring things. or random things that scream middle age #shopping for bedding and having breakfast at the harvester screams mid life crisis. i should not be going through this at my age. alas. #and we drove there whilst listening to Britney spears. again mid life crisis hello??? #it has been an accumulation of things where I've realised. holy shit. i was not doing this or thinking about this go back 6 months. #now look at me. #it feels weird moving on. there are so many things i feel like I've been forced to leave behind. a lost childhood perhaps. #i wish I'd had the opportunity to be less scared and anxious as a child. #i think that's a major part of the reason why I'm struggling to move on or let go of some things. #I don't feel like the same person. probably lot's of reasons for that. but somehow that is what makes it worse #thoughts ig #on a worrying note. y'all better watch out for when i get a car. nobody will be safe.