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sonsband · 2 months

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As Catiny’s main vocalist - who do you think has the spiciest vocals in kpop right meow?

How spicey do you mean?

(also if you like discussions of music I sometimes do those on my side blog changdyke and would love to talk about vocalists or music with people! okay shameless plug done)

Well, the spiciest vocals come from Changmin, who is a level 2 spicey boy at MOST. I mean, the 240105 Music Bank high note for "Down"? I don't know how half the boy groups didn't immediately vaporize as soon as he did That. I know it was probably just that he didn't hit the note at first, but he made it sound so good with that dissonance resolving into whistle register? (I would say something about Nissan Stadium Forever Love but until that's back up on YouTube I refuse to contemplate it so I don't burst into tears) But I'm a hater and don't like him so don't put him on the list.

EXID's Solji might not be active right meow, but she just did that musical so she counts!

Of course BTOB, Eunkwang and Minhyuk especially, I mean, "Boom" era was everything to me.

All of A.C.E, obviously, the world is a little brighter for their comeback. I can't wait for Donghun to absolutely devastate me again, but friendly reminder for your daily required viewing of their It's Live performance of "Goblin".

WayV's Xiaojun, I know Mujin Service is pitch corrected but the sheer emotion in "Ashes" is too much. He doesn't need to do as much as he does at all times, but thank god for it.

Does Forestella count as kpop? Because they've got the spice and the spicey vocals. All of them, but Woorim's wife was right to lock him down after that performance of "Bad Romance".

I might be ride or die for Seonghwa Main Vocal When, but back in like February 2021 I said San from Ateez strained a lot and he said "why would you say such a thing? btw hi lesbians" and just immediately went fuckin insane. I'm bummed it happened after they stopped actively promoting it but I will never shut up about how when he gets a mic for "Turbulence" he saves the whole song with that modulation to keep it from being a diminished fifth. I know he's a great dancer but he's vocal line for a reason. Watch "Breathe" btw.

SPEAKING OF "BREATHE"!!!! [edit: I got too excited to jump into IU that I forgot to finish this, sorry, I know it's a Lee Hi song] Lee Hi is that good good alto and the fact she had that voice at debut? We Love Altos.

IU!!!!! GIRL!!!!!!! No list of spiciest vocals would be complete without IU. "Love Poem" should be a UNESCO World Heritage piece of culture. I love her and I can't believe you're keeping her hostage and away from us, Addy.

Fun fact: DK is actually short for "DyKe rights" (editor's note: this is not true) and my sister will let me blast "Hot" in her car specifically so we can vocalize along with his chest voice there. He's got such a good ear.

The Boyz genuinely has some power vocals. Why do you think his name is SANGyeon? That video of him singing in a parking lot plays behind my eyes while I try to fall asleep.

Shownu simply does not get the credit he deserves as a vocalist. His voice is more subtle, so maybe not particularly spicey, but he's my husband and I will not let him go unappreciated on this list. What's the opposite of spicey? That's how I feel about I.M, except he's actually got interesting vocals, he's technically weaker but I think that makes him more interesting vocally. Plus he's the King of Vocal Fry (complimentary).

Another vocal fry master -- Taehyun from TXT. I feel so much about that kid. Most of it good.

For the hags, all of 2pm! (I'm not taking antipsychotics right now so I'm allowed to be delusional and they're active in my heart.) "Make It" was THE song of 2021, no notes at all. And "ADTOY" had no right to be that good. Also we love grown men being grown up spicey.

Woodz, don't talk to me about enlistment if I don't acknowledge it then it isn't happening. The live versions of "Chaser" and "Trigger" and "Accident" and and and and? I think his harmonizing gets overshadowed sometimes by his vocal power, especially since he has to harmonize with his backing track rather than another singer, but bro... bro... Also he was the closest to a Changmin "Mirotic" note, I will ignore any arguments to the contrary.

Red Velvet's Seulgi has really good vocals when she's given the chance to flex them, I really wish we could hear more from her. Underappreciated, tbh.

Highlight's Dongwoon, do we need to talk about that performance of "Fiction" again? Because I will talk about that performance of "Fiction" again. And I choose to believe his scene in "Good Luck" is part of the most watched section because of that little C# Major moment. Yeah his only other band mate Yeoseob is good but I gotta give the crown to Dongwoon. Also his outfits from last May's concerts were so spicey.

I'm so excited for Chungha's comeback. I know she's not really appreciated for her vocals since she's definitely a pop vocalist, but "Play"! I'm not even mad when she uses playback on music shows, she's in chest voice enough.

I can't believe I'm about to put a manlet on this list but Hui's got the spice. He's got the vocals. He deserves. That's all.

And how about Doyeon from Weki Meki. Siyeon from Dreamcatcher (omg that "Overdose" cover). Ailee, obviously. BB Girls Yujeong. Sistar just as a whole but especially Hyolyn, "Layin Low" changed me as a person and I swear it wasn't just the Nicole Kirkland choreo.

Okay I've just powered through so many Vocalists that my brain's been turned to mush. Tell me what else you think!

#you're welcome to yell at me to tell me who I forgot #Addy says they sent this ask here bc they forgot I do music stuff on changdyke but I think it's cause this blog is searchable #catiny #addy

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petewentzisblack1312 · 1 year

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ok so after some academic research through my university library i found that there is no research on the color vs black vinyl debate at all and it's entirely word of mouth, meaning it's a rumor and we should all just do whatever we want. also, i now know a little bit about the science of how to make pvc, and the powder dye particles you mentioned are so small that the difference shouldn't be audible to the human ear unless they put literal chunks of glitter or something in there or the process gets messed up.

lol but seriously, i saw someone make a really good point which is that we have digital music which is obviously gonna be the best quality, so audiophiles need to make peace with the fact that their physical formats (especially vinyl) are going to sound imperfect. obv that easy for me to say as a non-audiophile, but still, records are naturally imperfect and that's why we love them!

i'm still curious about this experiment to see if color vinyl actually makes any difference at all but the upshot is i'm still gonna by color vinyl if i want cause it's pretty <3

thank you for looking into it!!! my biggest hurdle is that i dont have access to jstor so its good to know that there for real isnt a study on this and its just word of mouth. its good to know that i can rule out particle size as a variable too! as i was looking into it it did seem like it was probably negligible. my research did indicate that conductivity does affect static levels on plastics though, and static does contribute to sound, and therefore theoretically black is the absolute best when it comes to conductivity because carbon black (the dye used) is very conductive. but if thats the case, then using an anti static brush or one of those anti static guns should fix any issues!

its so true that audiophiles are like objectively wrong that vinyl sounds better in any way btw like physically it simply does not and thats whats so good about it. and we have to enjoy the time we have here on earth with beautiful things like the blue and white splatter in clear pressing of fall out boys 2008 studio album infinity on high <3

something i should note is that if i design this experiment, i may not be able to actually carry it out! im just one dyke with no resources. ill hold onto it for if i get an opportunity, but its not something thatll happen anytime soon!

#dils declares #me when i get into uwi: okay so listen-

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peachbear88 · 3 years

Text

The Greatest Love Story

A/N: Inspired by this lovely image I saw. I'm making this into a high school angst AU that takes place in like the 1900's. For the record, I know Steve isn't a bad person but this is an AU and I need one of those... You know, guys for this story so.... Yeah! Sorry! BTW, the second poem is not written by me, it's written by Elizabeth Barrett Browning and I stole some quotes from Shakespeare.

Warnings: Angst, homophobia, swearing, character death.

Word Count: 3.2k

Pairing: Yelena Belova x Reader

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You scale the ancient wooden stairs of your small school. avoiding eye contact with anyone. The stares you receive from others are painfully obvious as you speed walk towards the library, seeking shelter from the judgmental glances from your peers.

"Hello dear," the kind librarian greets you as you walk past her towards your corner of the library.

You don't respond, quickly ducking behind the massive shelves, hoping to spend as much time as possible in your safe space before the classes start. Placing back your old books, you scan the shelves, until a particular title catches your eye.

"Love Poems by Women?" You murmur, flipping through the worn pages.

----------

A giant dusty book lands on the librarian's desk, making her look up.

"May I take this out?" You ask, your tone emotionless, cold yet tentative. The librarian smiles gently at you handing you back the book.

"Of course dear. Happy reading." You give her a small, thankful smile before dashing out of the library door. The halls are partially empty, save for the kids that skip class, hanging around in the hallways and dark alleys after school.

You duck your head, avoiding eye contact as you pass the group leaning against the lockers, most importantly, the hazel eyed beauty that could snap your neck in half, Yelena Belova.

"Hey!" Your head snaps up. Big mistake. You lock eyes with the famed blonde and you drop your head immediately, a faint blush creeping up your cheeks.

"Y-Yes?"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." She snaps. You peek at her from the corner of your eye, her sleek dress pants catching your eye.

"Interesting outfit choice," you note before you can stop yourself.

"What did you say?" She demands and you gulp, backing away.

"N-nothing." She slowly steps towards you, backing you into the lockers.

"Get to class. And don't ever let me see you again идиот (idiot)." You hurry down the hall towards your classroom, tripping in the process as you repeatedly look over your shoulder, watching as Yelena turns back to her friend group.

---------

"She was cute," Natasha points out as Yelena reclaims her spot leaning against the lockers. "Why do you feel the need to tease her so relentlessly?" Yelena rolls her eyes, grabbing the flask of vodka back from her sister.

"She's annoying. I don't like her." Natasha smirks.

"Sure. Whatever you say."

---------

You let out a sigh of relief when the bell rings.

Your classmates flood out of the classroom, jostling each other aside in their rush to get home. You quickly sprint out the door, eager to get home, safe and sound when a hand grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a dark alley behind the school.

"Hello there girly..." A deep voice says. You gulp. The boy steps into the light to reveal Steve Rogers. One of those people that take pride in hurting others, a bully, your tormenter.

"W-what do you want?" He smirks, stepping closer to you.

"Well, a little birdie told me that someone had an encounter with a specific blonde this morning." You flinch when he grabs you by the throat, pinning you to the wall. "You wouldn't happen to be... I don't know, one of those dykes would you?" Your eyes widen and you shake your head vigorously as he laughs. "Oh man," he sputters, choking through his laughter. "Wait till the school gets ahold of this-"

He doesn't get to finish his sentence because a fist connects with his face, sending him reeling backwards.

"What the-" A strong hand wraps around his throat, pushing him backwards till his back connects with the wall.

"Listen to me you маленькое дерьмо (little shit), if you ever even think about coming near her again, I will sneak into your house at night, gut you like the fish you are and paint the school with them." Yelena warns in a surprisingly calm voice. Steve's eyes widen and he nods his head frantically until she lets go.

"Crazy bitch!" He spits, backing away quickly. You shuffle your feet, looking down at the ground as she watches him run.

"T-thank you." You mutter, not daring to look her in the eye. She sighs.

"This better not become a daily thing Y/L/N." You nod feebly. "Get out of here." You quickly pick your bag back up and sprint out of the alley, leaving Yelena by herself,

---------

"I'm home mom!"

"Welcome home sweetie!" Your mom pokes her head out of the living room.

"How's your book going?"

"As great as a woman writing a book can be." She chuckles forcibly. There's an awkward silence before she continues. "Your father came by today." She pauses as you swallow, feeling like something lodged itself in your throat.

"And what did he want?" She frowns at your tone.

"Sweetie, I know you don't like him but he's still your fa-"

"I don't have a dad," you growl, picking up your bag. "My dad died when he chose to abandon us." She watches as you climb up the stairs, sighing and rubbing her temple.

---------

You flop onto your bed, dropping the thick dusty buck onto the bed. You spend the rest of the afternoon reading through the poems until your mom calls you down for dinner.

It's an awkward dinner, quiet, only the sounds of dishes, chewing and utensils filling the room.

"I'm going to bed." You say after washing the dishes, not bothering to wait for a response.

That night, you lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of your room.

"Love poems by women." You mutter, an idea popping into your head. You quickly sit up, flicking on your lamp and pulling out the book and a pen.

----------

"Good morning dear," the librarian greets you like she does every morning.

"I'd like to return this book." You reply coldly, passing her the book once again. She smiles gently at you.

"I hope you enjoyed your reading." She says while passing you, returning the book to its original shelf.

-----------

"Hello hon, can I help you with anything?" The librarian asks the dirty-blonde haired girl.

"No, thank you." The girl sends the librarian a tight lipped smile before returning her attention to the shelves. A ripped leather cover catches her attention. Love Poems by Women. She smiles, pulling the book from the shelf. Flipping open to the title page, a neat cursive catches her eyes.

Love flows between beings Gift from the gods Curse from the demons The missing part of every person Destined to be opposites Love is flexible Yet some seek to objectify love Love is not for the weak willed. - Aristophanes

The blonde haired girl hums, pulling a pen from her jacket's pocket and discreetly writing in the book, right next to the poem.

------------

Terrible.

That's the only way to describe your day. You received your essay back, ecstatic to see that you had received an A. Steve on the other hand had absolutely flunked. Instead of dedicating his time to studying, he decided to beat you up as a way of taking out his frustration.

You ended up limping out of the women's toilet, your leg flaring up whenever you moved, tears threatening to fall from your eyes.

"Hi sweetcheeks," the librarian murmurs, her eyes trailing down your injured leg.

"'Ello." You quickly duck behind the shelves, pulling out the book you were looking for. Your brows scrunch together in confusion as you see a messier scrawl next to your handwriting.

Reality hits hard

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of being and ideal grace. I love thee to the level of every day's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

- Orpheus

You smile letting a light laugh slip from your lips. A sweet titter revealing the little girl underneath your cold, traumatized exterior.

Quickly, you grab your pen from your pocket and begin scribbling.

-----------

The air is knocked from your body as your back makes contact with the floor.

"Listen here dyke. I don't like you alright," Steve growls into your ear as Tony cracks his knuckles. "So here's what's going to happen: Everyday you're going to meet us here and," he pauses, cracking his neck. "Help us relive some stress." He smiles wickedly before punching you in the stomach, making you double over in pain.

Your eyes flutter shut as they deliver blow after blow 'till they finally stop. You tentatively open your eyes to see Yelena tackling Steve to the ground as Tony stares at them, eyes wide.

"I. Told. You. To. Leave. Her. Alone!" She screams, pummeling Steve with her fists. He groans, unmoving. You watch in terror as Tony picks up a trash can lid, sneaking up behind her as she punches Steve in the face.

"Watch out!" You scream, taking Tony as well yourself by surprise. She looks up to see you slamming into Tony sending him flying into the nearby wall of the alley.

He crumples, unconscious.

"Are you okay?" You mumble, limping towards Yelena, who's clutching a blood gash on her arm.

"'M fine,' she grits out. You shake your head, grabbing her wrist. She flinches but doesn't push you away.

"You're not okay. Let me help you." You plead. She stays silent and you quickly take her silence as a yes, leading her to the front steps of your home. You rummage through your back pack, finding a large wrap of bandages that you kept after your daily beating from Rogers and his friends.

She winces as you wrap her wound swiftly.

"Gentle!" She growls and you stare back at her defiantly.

"Well maybe if you would stop moving, it'd hurt less!" You retort and she shuts up, staring off into the distance. You dab the cut with a small bit of alcohol before wrapping the bandage all around her arm.

"Thank you." She whispers, giving you a small smile. Reaching out, she gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear as you flinch back. You quickly, shovel the bandages and medicinal alcohol back into your pack, not noticing the hurt look on her face.

"No problem. The least I could do since you saved me." You reply bluntly, swinging the bag over your shoulder and slipping through the door.

"Wait-" She sighs as the door slams shut in front of her.

You exhale, leaning against the door as you try to catch your breath.

-----------

Yelena sighs exasperatedly, tugging at the collar of her dress shirt.

"What's wrong little sis?" Natasha smirks, plopping down next to her.

"I got hurt and Y/N patched me up." Natasha jumps up, eyes wide.

"You stained your new shirt?" She groans shaking Yelena violently. "God I'm going to kill you!" Yelena grabs her sister, stopping her.

"You're missing the point!"

"Oh yeah? And what's that?" Nat challenges, flopping back down on to the couch.

"She patched me up!" Nat's eyes widen.

"Oh. Oh." She inches closer to her sister, nudging her playfully, much to Yelena's dislike. "So are y'all like," she winks at her sister insinuatingly. "A thing?" Yelena scrunches her brows in confusion.

"A thing?" Nat rolls her eyes, sidling closer to her.

"Yes. A thing. An item? Lovers?" She shrugs, missing the way Yelena blushes.

"In her dreams," Yelena snorts, leaning back into the couch.

"If you say so..."

-----------

"Morning pumpkin!" The librarian chirps.

The blonde girl ignores her, breezing past her towards the the shelves at the very back, peeking over her shoulder quickly before pulling an old, leather bound book from the shelf.

She flips the leather cover aside to reveal the title page. Next to her messy, distorted scrawl was a neat, distinctive cursive once again.

Speak low if you speak love

- Aristophanes

She smiles gently, chuckling as she shakes her head.

"Shakespeare of all people," she whispers, her accent thickening. Pulling a forgotten pen from the shelves, she begins writing,

-----------

The highlight of your day became going to the library and reading the little messages scrawled in between the margins of the book by Orpheus. Like:

If music be the food of love, play on

Her passions are made of nothing but the finest part of pure love.

They made you smile on a daily basis, sometimes even eliciting a rare light laugh.

"Good morning sweetpea." The librarian greets you, not expecting a response. To her surprise and yours, you muster a small smile and a wave.

"Hello." You can feel the librarians shocked eyes following you as you round the bookshelf corner to find Steve, eyes wide, mouth open in shock as he stares down at something in his hands.

Your heart plummets. A book with a soft leather cover, yellowed pages. The book of poems.

You lunge for it but he step sides you swiftly, raising the book above his head.

"Speak low if you speak of love huh? I'm not surprised you know Shakespeare, you're such a nerd." He sneers, waving the book above his head.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." You stutter, backing up. He grabs you by the collar of your shirt, lifting you into the air.

"Don't fuck with me!" He growls, dropping the book and kicking it to the side. "Who's Orpheus?"

"G-Greek hero. Musician." You stutter and he slaps you, hard. You can feel your cheek swelling under his fiery gaze.

"Don't even try me. Who. Is. Orpheus?"

"I don't know, I swear!" You mutter, wincing when you accidentally bite your cheek.

He drops you, watching as you scramble to your feet, backing away.

"This isn't over you little shit. I'll be back for you," he warns, giving your book one last kick for good measure before storming out of the library with Tony and Bucky on his heels.

You fall to your knees, silently sobbing as you crawl over too the book, dusting it off and hugging it to your chest.

Yelena sighs, her heart breaking as she watches you curl around the book protectively, lying on the floor.

-----------

"Where are you going?"

Yelena turns to find Nat, leaning against the school stairwell doorway, watching her.

"Just up to the roof. Need some fresh air," she lies, avoiding Nat's gaze. Nat lifts Yelena's chin up, staring into her eyes, boring into her very soul. Yelena squirms under her gaze until she finally lets go.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay." She smiles sadly at her little sister. "Just-" Her voice cracks as she pats her sister's shoulder. "Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't worry. I won't." She gives Nat a brief hug before hiking her pants up and starting up the stairs.

-----------

"Ah, well look who decided to join the party!" You look up from the ground to see Yelena, your eyes clouded with pain.

"No..." You croak but Steve pays no attention to you.

"Come to save your love Yelena?" He sneers, dropping you to the ground. "Or should I say... Orpheus?" Your eyes widen as you watch him advance towards her, pushing her closer to the edge of the roof.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She deadpans and Steve chuckles.

"Sure. If you won't admit, I'll just have to settle for destroying you from the inside out instead." He grabs her by the arm. "I haven't forgotten what you did to me." He points at a long thin scar along his jawline.

You watch as Tony sneaks up from behind Yelena, striking her with a metal bar. She crumples, falling to her knees.

"Hold her." Steve directs and Bucky dutifully grabs you by the arms. He holds Yelena's chin in between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him. "Now you watch as I destroy the one thing you love the most." Tony tosses his the metal bar and Steve prepares himself before swinging it like a baseball bat.

There's a sickening crunch followed by your scream as the bar makes contact with your ribs.

"Stop!" She struggles, her eyes never leaving your broken body as he hits you over and over again. "Please! Leave her alone!"

Steve smiles evilly, locking eyes with her before swinging the bat again. Another scream. Blood trickles down your face from your nose.

"Is that right? Did the famous Yelena Belova just beg me?" He smiles cruelly before pushing you down on your back, his foot on your chest. You scream as he increases the pressure, your broken ribs digging into your lungs.

Yelena screams, kicking Tony's legs out from under him before punching Steve in the jaw. She grabs the iron bar before it hits the ground, clobbering Bucky in the stomach before kicking Steve in the stomach.

"ты сука (you bitch)!" She steps on his face swiftly, taking satisfaction in the groan of pain he emits before turning to you, gently cradling your face.

"Wow... That was pretty badass," you mumble and she laughs, tearing up. You reach out, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Don't cry." She frowns.

"I'm not crying."

"You are too." You smile, wincing in pain. "I didn't know you knew Shakespeare."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let this happen." You frown, caressing her face, forcing her to look at you.

"Hey, hey. It's fine. Don't worry. I'll be fine." You attempt to smile reassuringly but it comes out as more of a grimace. "Listen, if I don't make it-"

"Don't say that! You can't leave me!"

"Shush, listen you thickheaded poet. If I don't make it, go back to the book." You instruct her. She frowns but you can her off. "Promise me."

"But-"

"Promise me."

"I promise..."

"Good." You smile at her, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, your eyesight blurring. "Wait for me okay?" Your eyes flutter shut.

"No! No Y/N! Come back!" She shakes you roughly, sobbing when you don't respond.

----------

Yelena watches as your body is carted off under a white sheet. Nat stands to the side, watching as her sister stares off into the distance, all life drained from her body.

Go back to the book.

She stands, slowly trailing towards the library, her eyes bloodshot, cheeks caked with dry tears.

"Hi dear," the librarian greets her, discreetly wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. "What a shame. She was a lovely girl."

"She really was the best." Yelena agrees quietly, giving the librarian a small, comforting pat on the back before moving to the back of the library where she finds the book, lying on the floor.

Yelena,

I believe that we are the greatest love poem ever written. I love you always,

Y/N

A choked sob escapes her lips as she stares at the page. You knew. You knew the whole time and you didn't even say anything. A pair of soft arms wrap around Yelena's stomach as she lets go of the dam, her cries echoing throughout the library.

"I'm sorry..."

I'm sorry...

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Taglist: @username23345 @musicinourlips @gingerbreadcookieforlife @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @trikruismybitch @ima-gi--na-tion @nicole-rayleigh-hot @olsensnpm @peabrain112

#yelena belova x reader #yelena belova x you

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missmeikakuna · 4 years

Text

The Girl Who Cried Gay

Rated: T-M (It's something I can see a teenager reading and enjoying but could be given a more mature rating due to the swearing and the edgy jokes the characters make.) Fandom: Original story Relationship type: F/F Description: Edgy teenager Jimena's idea of a joke is coming out to her classmates every day. The thing is, she actually is gay but is too chicken to come out for real, playing off her numerous attempts as a joke. But this time she's going to tell the truth and confess to her best friend, the equally edgy rebel Vinciane. Her plan? Write an entire song in two weeks and perform it in front of everyone. Should be easy, right?

Right? Notes:

I want to thank Tyler, the Creator for inspiring this story. Your numerous jokes about you being into dudes before coming out for real was a source of fascination for me, which is why I wrote this story. Also, Igor is a great album. Congrats on the Grammy.

For my readers, keep in mind that my opinions do not always match those of the characters. These girls say things I never would. I hope you find them entertaining.

CONTENT WARNING: There is a mention of suicide but no actual suicide, just the characters being edgelords and joking about the topic.

Jimena picked her teeth with one of the spikes on her boots, which she had shaken off as the school day drew to a close. Before that afternoon’s teacher had the chance to chastise her for her choice in outfit… again… she stood on top of the table.

‘I’ve got something to tell you all. I…’ She wobbled a little on the table. ‘Woah, this is pretty difficult.’ She took a deep breath. ‘I’m gay.’

Everyone, the teacher included, rolled their eyes and resumed their in-class tasks. Vinciane leaned back in her seat as she looked up at Jimena. She watched this grand reveal with a smirk on her face that would make a lawyered-up business mogul jealous.

Her short, dyed red hair in a sidecut was a constant source of frustration for the teachers. Jimena tried to copy it with her black hair but settled on a faux sidecut with braids. In fact, she tried to copy every aspect of her appearance, a feat made difficult by their differing body types, with Jimena being tall and thin and Vinciane being short and curvy. Both wore dark and heavy makeup, also causing a stir among the teachers.

Vinciane almost dropped her smirk when she saw Jimena’s hands turn into trembling fists. Almost.

There was little point in being concerned since it wasn’t long before Jimena laughed and applauded herself.

‘You should have seen the looks on your faces! Get wrecked!’ She plopped back down off the table and nudged Vinciane in the ribs. ‘Lezzies for life, Vinny?’ she said, holding out her pinky finger and rivalling her smirk with her own. ‘We’ll get our own U-Haul and argue over who makes the sandwiches.’

Vinciane tied her pinky around Jimena’s. ‘Wouldn’t have it any other way. By the way, I’m making the sandwiches.’ Her accent was lightly French.

The two laughed loud enough to cause another quick lecture on manners from the teacher. Then it was Jimena’s turn to roll her eyes. Being the rebellious girl she was, she flipped the bird at her teacher… under the table.

That night, Jimena held her pillow in between her chest and her knees, slouching against her bedframe. She lifted her pinky and stared at it before bringing it to her lips in a gentle kiss. She looked at the acoustic guitar at the other end of the room, romantic lyrics flittering in her head.

The punk text tone on her bedside table sent lightning up Jimena’s spine. It was Vinciane’s favourite song. The text was accompanied by a poorly shot photo.

I put a gold bath bomb in and now the bathwater looks like piss. FML. Gonna kill myself, brb.

Jimena responded a little later than she had hoped, taking time to craft her text.

Is that a toaster in your bathtub or are you happy to see me?

Vinciane’s next text pushed Jimena’s heart up to her throat.

¿Por qué no los dos? Btw, you almost had me fooled today. Almost convinced me your verbal coming out shitpost was real. Excellent job, my love 😉

Oh, yeah. Shitpost.

Jimena pulled her numerous blankets on top of her body and rolled around until she was caved in by warmth. It did little to bring a smile back to her face, but at least she could bury herself and perhaps never come out.

The pity party was crashed by her mother calling her to the dinner table. She had no choice but to crawl out of her blanket cocoon and enjoy a nice meal of… supermarket tacos.

Two thoughts battled for prominence in Jimena’s mind. The first was wondering how her parents could have possibly come from Mexico when they had the most Americanised tastes.

The second was the reopening of the recent wound caused by her friend.

¿Por qué no los dos?

Her mother heard her sigh and asked her how school was. Jimena shrugged, using the beef and lettuce in her mouth as an excuse not to talk. Her mother didn’t buy it. Not that she ever could, what with Jimena resting her feet on the table and scowling at no one in particular.

After lecturing her on keeping the table clean, she asked, ‘Why must you always wear those shoes? Is this because of that girl?’

As Jimena managed to prove, swallowing food in an unambiguously angry way was something humans could do. A light clink hit everyone’s ears as she kicked the salt shaker, causing it to collide with her mother’s plate.

‘Leave her out of this,’ Jimena said in the clipped voice of someone who wanted to yell but knew she would receive a yell in return.

Her father tried to speak calmly. Emphasis on ‘tried’.‘We’re just a little concerned that you’ve, well, been acting differently since befriending her. You used to be such a bright girl. And why won’t you wear the dresses I made you?’ His voice cracked a little at the question.

‘Well, maybe you should make clothes that I actually want to wear.’

‘I don’t appreciate that tone, young lady,’ her mother chastised her, raising her voice even louder. There it was: the yell.

‘Well, you’re going to hear that tone a lot longer if you don’t shut the hell up!’

Jimena shouted, getting out of her seat and storming off to her room. She then went back into the dining room to retrieve her tacos and brought them to her room.

She took her phone out and texted with one hand while holding one taco in the other.

My parents can step in dog shit while stuck in a time loop. Shit on their shoes for all eternity.

After a few minutes that felt more like fifty, Vinciane responded in an almost insultingly short text.

Mood

Rather than take the length as an insult, Jimena held her phone to her chest and giggled. She was unsure whether it was the heat from the phone or something else that made her heart feel so warm.

That sensation didn’t last long when she remembered that Vinciane lived with her aunt. She immediately texted an apology. She didn’t have to wait long before getting a message back.

Don’t sweat it. If I lived under their house, I would have to live under their rules. My aunt gets me better anyway. She’s even okay with my nose ring.

The two continued texting through the night, and not once did Jimena admit to looking forward to going to school the next day.

The day that followed involved Vinciane skipping class and, without even asking her, being followed by Jimena. Vinciane sat by the pond, a place students weren’t allowed to be within ten feet of, and took out a cigarette. Upon seeing the horrified look on Jimena’s face, she chuckled and lowered her eyelids until they were half-closed.

‘You worried these will turn me from a dyke to a fag?’ she asked in a strong Cockney accent. ‘Don’t worry, love, I would never leave you.’ She took a drag of the cigarette and opened her eyes fully, returning to her original accent. ‘Oh, speaking of which, any guys you think are cute?’

‘None as cute as you,’ Jimena murmured, then gulped when she saw that Vinciane heard her. The stone she was sitting on started feeling mighty uncomfy.

‘No, but seriously. No one? There’s a guy who’s got my eye- what’s wrong?’

Jimena was looking down, focusing her eyes on the hem of her plaid skirt as she fiddled with it. Anything to stop tears from falling.

‘I’m gay.’ A laugh came from Jimena’s mouth out of habit.

Vinciane joined in. ‘Yeah, yeah. So which guy do you like?’

Jimena shrugged. ‘No one at this stupid school.’

‘Fair point.’ Some of the smoke reached Jimena, who couldn’t help but cough. This earned a snicker from Vinciane. Jimena pouted and reached for the other girl’s cigarette packet. Vinciane guarded it with her free hand. ‘I don’t think you’re ready for that. Wait ‘til you stop sounding like you’re dying of tuberculosis.’

‘No way. If I’m going out, it’s gonna be human mad cow disease that takes me down.’

‘Or AIDs.’

Jimena smiled and gave Vinciane a finger gun. ‘Or AIDS.’ The two were silent for a moment as Vinciane finished her cigarette. She squished the butt into the ground and stood up, stretching her arms and yawning.

‘Um, why exactly do you go to school anyway if you’re going to skip class?’ Jimena eventually asked.

Vinciane brushed her fingers through her hair. The sight took Jimena’s breath from her. ‘I mean, you’re here. And where else am I going to go?’

Jimena didn’t know how to respond to that, not that her airless lungs would have allowed her to respond at all. All she could really do was look away from Vinciane’s plump lips and pray that she would soon be able to breathe properly again.

A decision managed to get air pumping through her veins again. She was going to come out for real, and she was going to make it as convincing as possible.

At home that night, she jotted down ideas for this ceremony onto her notes app. The following morning, she gave Vinciane vague details about an announcement she planned to make and a song she would use to do it.

‘Is this another one of your coming out ceremonies? This might be your most over the top one yet. Looking forward to it.’

‘No, no, it’s quite different. Okay, so for the announcement song, I will sing it to you and you’ll sit there all surprised.’

‘What will you be announcing?’

‘I have to make sure you look surprised.’

‘You saying I can’t act?’ Vinciane asked as she crossed her arms.

‘That’s not what I mean! I just want the song to be a surprise to everyone, including you. I may dance around you, by the way, so don’t be surprised by that. Focus on the content.’

‘So where are you going to say… er, sing this announcement?’

‘The cafeteria at lunch, two weeks for now. That should be long enough to write and rehearse a song, right?’

‘I guess. So are you going to play the song on your acoustic guitar?’

‘I was thinking of asking the music department to borrow one of their electric guitars. I think the song would be cool with a punk edge.’

‘Good luck getting one in two weeks. And an electric guitar kind of needs a band with it, so you’ll be spending a lot of those two weeks trying to get bandmates. Won’t the song be more, I don’t know, sincere sounding if it’s acoustic?’

‘You think so? You sure it wouldn’t be fake deep? I don’t want to sound like some hipster dude trying to pick up a girl at a coffee shop.’

‘If the lyrics are sincere, an acoustic guitar will highlight them. I doubt you’ll sound pretentious.’

Jimena took a deep breath and put her fist in her other hand as she exhaled. ‘Okay, I’ve got this.’

Vinciane stroked Jimena’s hair, not noticing the warmth radiating from the other’s cheeks. ‘I know you do.’

Instead of hanging out with Vinciane, Jimena spent lunchtime putting lyrics into her phone. Vinciane kept walking up to her and trying to sneak a glance, but Jimena’s screen-covering reflexes were way too good.

At home, Jimena continued typing on her phone, even during dinner. Cue the nagging from both her parents, whom she ignored.

As she lay in bed, she tried to continue typing away but the claws of doubt picked at her brain. She sat on her side, listening to the scarce sounds surrounding her. Her ears picked up the whir of a sewing machine, a sound that pulled her up like the strings of a marionette. After listening for a while with her eyes closed, the familiarity of the sound lulled her back down onto the bed.

She knew exactly what was going on and was tempted to tell her father not to bother, but the sound softened the pillow she lay on. She let it play in the background like an ambient album full of rain sounds.

Before she could fall asleep, and boy was she tempted to, an idea popped into her head. She sat up again and grabbed her guitar, playing riffs in time with her father’s sewing. The plucking of her guitar mirrored the sound of the needle.

She made a new note on her phone and wrote new lyrics referencing the sewing terms she could remember her father mentioning. Half an hour later, she put the phone down and got into her pajamas.

The first thing Jimena saw when she woke up was a finished dress hanging from the doorknob. A piece of paper was taped to the hanger, saying, ‘For when you perform your next song’. She smiled until she received a text from Vinciane. She pictured Vinciane scrunching her nose at her and tossed the dress next to the bin tucked in the corner of her room.

The following lunchtime, it was Take Two for Vinciane’s attempts to uncover Jimena’s lyrics. Once again, she failed.

‘Come on, can’t you show me a little bit?’

‘For the last time, no!’

A pout stayed on Vinciane’s lips for the rest of the day.

When she dropped her backpack by her bed, Jimena saw the dress her father had made neatly folded on the bed. She sighed and threw it back towards the bin, narrowly missing it. The next few days were a pattern of the dress appearing folded on the bed and her throwing it in the bin. Each day, her father’s shoulders drooped further and further until he looked like a caveman with depression.

During those days Vinciane didn’t pry any longer and instead spent the time sitting next to Jimena and offering words of encouragement as the girl silently edited her own lyrics. She reached for Jimena’s free hand but Jimena wriggled out of her grasp to start typing with two hands.

Once again, Vinciane pouted for the remainder of the day.

Jimena practised over and over again at home, at least until her mother yelled at her to knock it off. The ‘knock it off’ point was at 10 o’clock at night. She gave her mother the middle finger but did indeed knock it off.

However, she continued adjusting the sheet music and playing the song in her head well into the night. Naturally, this led to her coming to school with bags under her eyes and little patience for Vinciane’s gestures of friendliness. Apparently a quick, non-invasive question about how the song was going was enough to set off an atomic bomb.

‘Shut it, Vinny!’

Vinciane blinked and stepped back. ‘Sorry.’

Jimena almost apologised too but couldn’t bring the words out. Vinciane made sure not to bother her until the two weeks were up.

Having her muse not by her side made it both easier and more difficult to practice the song. On the one hand, more time to herself without worrying about the secret getting out. On the other, no words of support and no one to look at when she needed a boost of inspiration. Doubt’s claws scratched at her psyche again.

That night, she sat in the dark, Vinciane’s verging-on-tears face playing over and over in her head like a scratched CD.

The morning of the performance day was the same as usual, complete with the neatly folded dress on the bed. Jimena groaned as she shoved the dress into her backpack.

Vinciane didn’t show up at class. Alarms rang in Jimena’s ears. What if the most important audience member wasn’t there for the performance?

After changing at the beginning of lunch, she wasted valuable rehearsal time searching the school for Vinciane. She wasn’t at the pond nor behind the gardener’s shed where the druggies usually hung out.

It was five minutes before the end of lunch by the time she found Vinciane in a classroom. The same classroom Vinciane would have been in that morning had she not skipped class.

Vinciane’s eyes popped out of their sockets upon seeing Jimena in the dress. Its colour was not unfamiliar- black, as always. However, it was frilly and lacy and buoyant, paired with knee-high socks and a little bonnet. It was utterly adorable.

As soon as the shock wore off, she glared at her. ‘Come to tell me to shut it?’ Jimena tightened her grip on her acoustic guitar. ‘Or maybe you want to take me to the cafeteria so everyone can hear the song you refused to show me.’

Jimena stepped closer and began playing the guitar. She breathed in, then out, then in again.

‘You pull me in... like a thread caught in a sewing machine.’ She pronounced the last syllable of ‘machine’ pretty weakly to get it to rhyme with ‘in’.

She continued. ‘I don’t know where this is going. This sin.... gives me pins and needles, you’re giving me the feels. Now I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.’

She strummed the guitar rapidly, sending a warm sound to a smiling Vinciane. ‘I’m really sorry if I’m bursting at the seams. It’s so hard standing next to the girl of my dreams. When you’re edgy, I keep folding like a hem. It’s so hard to admit that you’re my favourite femme.’

Vinciane’s cheeks went red while Jimena’s playing slowed down. ‘Your jokes leave me in stitches but my foot’s in my mouth. I want to tell you how I feel but I don’t know how.’

Jimena circled around Vinciane’s chair, speeding up her strumming. Her heart was beating faster than the song but, for the first time, she wasn’t going to back out now.

She returned to the tune she started with. ‘Well, I’m as straight... as the hem of a big swing skirt. Don’t hate, I’m not looking to get hurt. A date... would be wonderful, don’t judge. My feelings simply won’t budge and I feel like this might as well be fate.’

It was time for the outro. ‘No, this is no joke. No this is no prank. I’m gay as fuck and with some luck, I got you in my ranks. This is the real me and yes, my heart is true. I’m not that tough, it’s all a bluff. Just know that I like you.’

Vinciane looked into Jimena’s eyes and saw the sincerity in them. She stood up and whispered in her ear, sending tingles down her spine.

‘You didn’t need to act tough, you know. I’d have liked you either way.’

‘Um, so about that guy you have your eye on-’ Jimena asked.

‘Oh, that?’ Vinciane’s smirk returned as she put her index finger against her own lips. ‘That was a lie. Just wanted to test the waters, plus I didn’t know how to tell you. You won’t get mad at me for that, right?’

Jimena shook her head and then rubbed the back of her neck. ‘So, uh, how does a date sound?’

‘Make it two. Then we can get a U-Haul. I’m still making the sandwiches, by the way. I’ve seen you in Home Ec and you kind of suck in the kitchen.’

Jimena giggled and grabbed her hand as the two walked out of the classroom. ‘Sounds like a plan. But for now, we should just focus on how to convince everyone else that we’re a couple for real this time.’

Vinciane shrugged. ‘Does it matter? I know and you know. Who cares what the others think?’

The bell rang and Vinciane followed Jimena into another classroom. During class, they spent less time listening to the teacher and more times sneaking glances at each other. Vinciane played with the ribbon attached to Jimena’s bonnet, twirling the pretty fabric around her finger. Jimena ran her kitten-heeled shoe over the spikes on Vinciane’s boot, smiling at the rough sound.

#lesbian #yuri #fiction #romance #writing #LGBT #lgbt romance #original fiction #drama #comedy #The Girl Who Cried Gay

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allthingsfern · 6 years

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The movies from the “I was tagged” post

I am gonna kinda do what Bud @bwwhitney did and share what movie each photo is from. Sorry that I added so much detail, but all y’all know I love this shit.

BTW, I tried to choose films (and/or GIFs/images) that were not my usual I have posted here before. I have many films I watch often.

1. Mata Hari (That is Garbo in the GIF. One of her best films, though heavily melodramatic. Yet, as with most of her Hollywood films, her presence elevates it to art. And yes, I cry like a baby during the conclusion. However, the film that breaks me down from the moment it starts to the very end is her Camille. Really, I cannot even talk about it much because I start sobbing, even though it is a silly story about a prostitute and her obsessed young lover, but the way the film tells the story takes my breath away. Anyway, I saw this GIF and could not resist it, since it exemplifies Mata Hari’s hyperbolic ridiculousness of trying to make Garbo into a goddess, which she always was. MGM studio heads rarely realized all Garbo really ever had to do was just look at the camera and make millions of us swoon. She was a Goddess because she was so intelligent, so talented, that she knew how to discretely let her beauty reflect and magnify her gifts to us mere mortals.)

2. Human Capital (I cannot say much about this since I only saw it once, but loved it. Fabrizio Gifuni, who is in this GIF, was also in The Best of Youth, a 6 hour mini-series I have seen 3 times. Great actor in this brutal depiction of how ravaging human greed and ruthless lust for power can be. Heartbreakingly insightful. This one is on my rewatch list.)

3. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (One of the few musicals I deeply love; one of my all time favorite films. That is Jane Russell in the GIF. I thought the guy was and Mariska Hargitay's dad, but no. FYI, in this movie, Jane Russell does a superb, funny impersonation of Monroe. It is a loving tribute to her costar.)

4. The 10th Victim (From one of my all time favorite films, which I have posted about several times here, this is a rarely seen brunette Ursula Andress. She is only a brunette during the opening credits and then comes the big BANG BANG surprise, which, coincidentally, was spoofed in Austin Powers. BTW, I used this movie in my gender and media class a couple of times and the students loved it. This movie has kinda a cult following among young folks. Who knew?)

5. Key Largo (Bacall & Edward G. Robinson, from one of the most upsetting scenes, EVER. He is a really nasty gangster in this movie, absolutely putrid. He leans over and whispers something in her ear, while he is holding a gun. Hot stuff for a film from the 40s. The GIF is her reaction.)

6. Funny Face (Another one of the few musicals I adore and another one fo the movies I have written about here several times. I chose this one GIF because it is a short clip from the opening credits. I believe the woman on the swing may be the 40s/50s supermodel, Dovima, the woman in Avedon’s iconic elephant fashion photo. BTW, Dovima has a small role in the beginning of movie, playing a brainless model.)

7. Casino Royale-1967 (Another one of my all time favorites, it includes a scene with Ursula Andress and a Hasselblad. What more does a movie need to be great, I ask you? Okay, I know this movie has issues, but there is something alluring about it, something elegantly sensuous, beyond sexual about it--especially when Ursula Andress is on the screen--so I am not bothered by its flaws. And then there is “The Look of Love,” one of the most romantic songs, ever. OMG, indeed.)

8. Bring It On (Another one of the movies I have posted about here a couple of times. One of the best films about class & race in the US, I also used this movie in my gender and media classes a couple of times.)

And “jazz hands” for fellow Bring It On fan @amymontico:

9. McLintock! (One of two early 60s John Wayne films I still love. This one and North to Alaska are two of the films I first saw in Miami’s Tower Theater, which was in our neighborhood. This was during my first year living in Miami, before my parents came to the US. I also recall seeing Blue Hawaii and Midnight Lace there during that time. I AM old... OH! And that is, left to right, Yvonne de Carlo, John Wayne, Maureen O’Hara.)

10. The Great Lie (Not sure why this movie is not better known, because it is a brilliantly passionate melodrama. Bette Davis and Mary Astor share a couple of months and their immense dislike for each other in a lonely cabin in the dessert. The details of why they hate each other and why they are in the dessert are juicy, so I am not going to spoil it.)

11. What a Way to Go! (Shirley MacLaine gets to wear what seems like 5000 over the top Edith Head mid-60s costume designs. This is a solid romantic comedy, not great, but very good. Visually rich, sometimes ridiculously so, but that is the point of the film. Also, it has several stories and each one is done in a different cinematic style. Love this movie. Like Casino Royale, 1967, I understand this film is flawed, but I love rewatching it. The film also stars Dick Van Dyke, Dean Martin, Paul Newman, Robert Cummings, Robert Mitchum, Gene Kelly, and an older Margaret Dumont, who was the society matron in several classic Marx Brothers movies.)

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fuck-customers · 6 years

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so the other day i had just gotten into work when a lady comes in, imma call her Blue (she wears a blue coat and constantly had the blue MalWart bag thus the name)

Now, Blue obviously has…. issues, im not sure what they are but they are a thing.

i usually get to work a half hour before im supposed to be in because i dont live very far from my store (i can walk when the weather is nice), and i use the extra half hour to eat my Him Tortons brekky, put my coat and bag away, go bathroom, whatever, and usually i put my smock on as im coming down because i need it on anyway. (all this is just for setting the scene, btw)

so i come out of the bathroom, done what i had to do and go about my buisness, (usually that’s double checking the schedual just so i know when to take breaks and whatnot) and then start actually working.

Now Blue… She seems to have this idea that we are supposed to stand up all pretty at the counter, doing nothing but helping her find out prices which are CLEARLY FUCKING LABELED STICKERS, all the while listening to her spout out the most racist ass nonsense (calling some imagined woman an “n-word dyke bitch” and threats against us (according to my boss she doesnt understand what she is even saying when she’s doing this. which i guess i can understand because some tics you just cannot help…) …..HOWEVER i will not accept threats, intentional or not, to our volunteers. i was one for three years before they hired me, and i know they just want to get the volunteer hours done and over with and move on.

So this morning its around…. 10 am, i just got in for my shift and i’m watching the front while the ASM M is gathering more stuff to hang (i work at the red shield second hand store btw) when Blue comes in, i already ran into her at Him Tortons so i’ve been warned she’s about, im also tidying up a little bit so im a tad busy when she asks me a question, which i couldnt hear real clear anyway due to a combination of the speaker being right over me and my ears being a little muffled because im sick rn. i just go about my buisness when suddenly she shouts, all the way across the store “You Work for a living, bitch!”

….. yes, i work for a living, that does not include listening to the aforementioned racism and threats to my person, you mental-case. I am the only other person up on the floor until Dain (not his real name) comes in at noon okay? i have a million other things to do than stand at the counter and act like your personal shopper when i have other customers to ring in, shit that needs putting away or putting on hangers to hang them so later i can put them away. thats my job, not to make sure you dont try and deck someone because they nudged you with thier backback (actually happened, M kicked her out after that while Blue began a tirade about how shes being accused of stealing from the store for some reason) because GUESS WHAT FUCKER it is a tiny store. it aint Malize or fuckin UsefulnessTown, its a small tiny store in a 50+ year old building, people gon get nudged in a tight space. especially in january when its cold and everyone is wearing 20lbs of winter coats.

i havent seen her since the “Stealing accusation” tirade so im hoping shes gone for good but i doubt that, my boss C usually tries to diffuse issues, bless him but sometimes i prefer M’s way of dealing with people like this lady. (my way is just petty “oh sorry i didnt hear you” and then walk away, making sure i have my name tag covered)

TL;DR - woman comes in and swears at me because im fucking busy with my actual job instead of what she assumes i should be doing, i know what im doing, i have a JOB FOR A LIVING, BITCH.

(sorry for all the swearing for those who dont like swears but honestly it took everything i had in me right then to not run up, grab her by her hair and toss her into King Street infront of the B-line express bus. i would have loved to tbh, thankfully i got to rip the shit out of hole and stain filled clothing later and bought a funky shirt so that was the silver lining >:3 )

#trigger warning #submissions #fuck customers #happy ending #submission

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