#n im not proving him wrong enough (that I do care abt him so by extension abt his music) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sewercentipede · 2 years

Text

long post ignore meee

the annoying thing is he never tells me when he’s upset with me he just doesn’t say anything. like .. last time i knew he was probably upset bc i hadn’t messaged him in kind of a long time so I was like fuck I better msg him—and then ig right before I did msg, he hinted to my husband that he was bothered by it. but he refuses to msg me more than once so if I don’t see his message he thinks I’m ghosting but wont put out a feeler message.

so I was like “hey man.... if I don’t reach out and you’re feeling neglected , or if there’s anything I’m doing that bothers you , you can and in fact should - and I urge you to - msg me multiple times, even spam the shit out of me. And just let me know what is bothering you and I can adjust n get better at it” in response he was like.. “but I don’t want to annoy you:(.” and i said “dude I won’t be annoyed. and jsyk, you never have annoyed me b4 and probably never could annoy me, so feel free to try annoying me on purpose. im genuinely curious to see if you even could lol.” and he was like “oh shit really? When we first started talking I thought I annoyed u all the time and that u didn’t like me much..” like yeah brother that’s what everyone thinks about me at first lol but you know me better by now, I should hope !

so I said “what no I never felt that way. I always liked u and specifically always would initiate convos with you and keep reaching out to you when convos died, bc I knew u were dope, and , i wanted to become friends w u. essentially i went out of my way to establish a friendship with you because I had a rly strong good gut feeling about u immediately, and acted on it. like fr i don’t do this with anyone else ever. usually im on the receiving end of that type of friendship”

And he seemed to be much more reassured by all of it in the moment ..... but ! it’s not translating to him actually taking my advice by changing his behavior based on what I said.

i think for one he’s deeply insecure so, those insecurities end up winning out even with my verbal reassurance, plus he’s also the type to have his guard up all the time based on his past relationships. n that’s a bad combo for resolving stuff like this. but he also is always willing to open up n be honest abt what he wants from me, if I bring up these topics myself. so it gives me more to work with.

i think if I just accept that he won’t reach out without my encouragement and that he’ll close in on himself without me “annoying” him and showing up (physically and emotionally) i may be able to both salvage and improve our friendship going forward.

I don’t want him to get to the point of resenting me for all the things I didn’t know to do, thinking falsely that I don’t care about him, all bc i couldn’t read his mind to know what things I did/didn’t do that were important to him and therefore hurt him - ie things i need to work on - since he’s too naturally scared/guarded to confront me abt them due to his own past experiences.

bc that right there is exactly why my last two closest relationships bombed and failed without me knowing anything was wrong until their breaking point, where it was too late for me to do anything but let them leave or leave them. and i don’t want to have that happen again if I can help it— and especially not have that happen with him specifically.

like I’m so sick of the cycle of my friendships failing when I think I’m doing my best but the other person is silently thinking I don’t care about them so I need to use a different approach otherwise it will keep happening

OH FUCK I FORGOT HE HAS ASPBERGERS/AUTISM .... like I knew but idk how I forgot that???? That explains so much regarding like. all of his antisocial self-conscious behavior even with me. like he doesn’t give a fuck but when he feels he’s bothering someone he does give a fuck. and I think he’s been getting the sense that he’s bothering me (even tho he isn’t). so this gives me such a sense of relief because like now I can actually remember to take that into consideration and adjust my behavior accordingly (within reason ofc)

#long post #n now on top of this I have a feeling he sees tht i dont care abt his music n he’s told me how hurt he feels when other friends do that #n im not proving him wrong enough (that I do care abt him so by extension abt his music)#so it’s like multiple balls in the air that i need to handle to prove to him that truly I do care

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yikeswtfmate · 4 years

Text

(1) New Message from Unknown Number

main masterlist // (1) New Message Masterlist // next part

Summary: Y/N is drunk and can’t remember her ex’s number.

A/N: Hello, it is I, the idiot who writes Social Media AUs when she’s drunk but is too lazy to put them in the proper format and just leaves them to die somewhere on her laptop

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Social Media AU - that’s a lie, it’s actually just texts in Word format 🤡)

Warnings: swearing, dumbassery

Unknown Number: Hey asshat so listen

Unknown Number: I kno we hvnt spoken since like

Unknown Number: High school but whateve idc

Unknown Number: U’re an asshle so I dnt even care that its like…

Unknown Number: 3 in the morning nvrmd

Unknown Number: Ive ben dared to txt my hottest ex by these evil witchS so

Unknown Number: Here u go

Unknown Number: At least u had decent abs so congrats on tht jfc

Unknown Number: also u dnt get to complain abt this txt bc like

Unknown Number: u dated me for 6 months on a dare so U KNOW WHat this shuold feel like ya

Unknown Number: Wow dude that sounds like a dick move

Unknown Number: Seriously who the hell dates someone for 6 months on a dare?

Unknown Number: Doesn’t that only happen in movies though?

Unknown Number: hey bitchass dont act like u don’t kno what im talkinG abt

Unknown Number: Oh shit yeah, sorry. I don’t know who this asshole of an ex is but I sure as hell am not him

Unknown Number: Dude sounds like a complete waste of human space

Unknown Number: And I think I wouldn’t get to live it down if my friends would hear I did something that shitty

Unknown Number: Wait lemme ask Sam

Unknown Number: Nah, he says Steve would’ve beaten my ass if I were to do that so there u go

Unknown Number: m sorry who tf are u

Unknown Number: Bucky

Unknown Number: what kind of stupid name is bucky

Unknown Number: Shit man, u’re the one blowing up my phone at 3 in the morning, sending me weird ass messages when I don’t even know u and u dare say my name is stupid???

Unknown Number: Sheit srry

Unknown Number: Is been A long night

Unknown Number: nd week

Unknown Number: Actlly make thAt the whle entire fuckin month

Girl with asshole ex: Srry fr bothering u

Unknown Number: It‘s cool

Girl with asshole ex: Hey the witches ask if ure hot

Bonky: Yeah

Girl with asshole ex: WHAT THE FCK MAN AT LEST BE A LIL BIT HUMBLE SMH

Bonky: U wanted me to lie?

Girl with asshole ex: Fair point

Girl with asshole ex: They wnt a pic

Girl with asshole ex: Pic or it didn’t happen punk

Girl with asshole ex: Tht was nat

Bonky: What kind of party are u at that you can constantly text me?

Girl with asshole ex: Wanda’s place

Girl with asshole ex: Girls night

Girl with asshole ex: Getting hammered on wine BITCH

Girl with asshole ex: Also dnt change the subject

Bonky: I don’t even know your name

Girl with asshole ex: Why would I tell u my name I just want to see a suppsdly hot asssd

Bonky: You know mine and now you want me to send u a pic of me

Bonky: Bit of a disadvantage here babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: BABE if I tell u my name will u send a pic of u so we kno u arnt a 60yr old perv

Bonky: I’ll think about it

Girl with asshole ex: Hey fuck u

Girl with asshole ex: Not fair

Bonky: How do I know you’re not the 60yr old perv?

Girl with asshole ex: Cuz she got big tiddies to prove

Girl with asshole ex: And that was wanda

Girl with asshole ex: So now u know my fridsn

Bonky: Still don’t know your name tho babe

Bonky: Also tell Wanda she shouldn’t give out this type of info to strangers

Girl with asshole ex: ure not a stranger anymore bonky

Girl with asshole ex: ure my babe nao

Bonky: I’m going to let that Bonky slide just bc u’re cute

Bonky: But I’m also going to stop replying until you tell me your name

Girl with asshole ex: U think im cute?

Girl with asshole ex:

Girl with asshole ex: I mean u havnt even seen me but thats fair

Girl with asshole ex: Wand and nat say its true so ill believe u rnt lying to me rn

Girl with asshole ex: But I wanna see if ure cute

Girl with asshole ex: Wait why r u up st 3 in the mrng I mean we re drunk but wht r u doing

Girl with asshole ex: Babe u need to take better care of urself

Girl with asshole ex: Babe

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: BABE?

Girl with asshole ex: Ph shit ure actually ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: I dont like this

Girl with asshole ex: I actually like talking to u

Girl with asshole ex: Pls stop ignoring me

Girl with asshole ex: COME BACK AND LOBE ME

Girl with asshole ex: Babe?

Girl with asshole ex: Fine

Girl with asshole ex: It’s Y/N

Bonky: Now, that wasn’t so hard was it?

Babe: fcuk u

Bonky: I’m up at 3 bc we ordered pizza and decided it’s time to beat Sam’s ass in Mario Kart once and for all

Babe: Nd how’s that going for ya?

Bonky: Bitch has been beating us for the past 3 hours

Bonky: Thor is the only one getting at least close to him now so we’re about to give up

Babe: Wait shit how r u replying so fast if ure playing Mario kart tho

Bonky: I gave up two hours ago

Babe: Quitter

Bonky: Just gotta know which fights to pick babe

Babe: Heads up I might be fallin asleep soon

Bonky: Drink some water before that, maybe get some food in u as well to soak up all the alcohol and have an advil close for tomorrow

Babe: Ok MOM

Bonky: Hey Wanda willingly told me you have “big tiddies” so your friends don’t seem to be doing a good job of taking care of you

Bonky: Might as well let me do it so you don’t die tmrw

Babe: Ohhhh so u careeeee babe im touched

Babe: Kkkkkk Ill talk tu u tmrw ill be dead soon

Babe: Nd I do have big tiddies

Bonky: Good night babe

Babe: What the shit

Bonky: I see you survived

Babe: Barely

Babe: My head might explode soon and I feel like I’ve vomited for an entire lifetime

Babe: TMI sorry

Bonky: I’d like to point out I’m glad I don’t have to decipher your texts anymore and that you can actually spell properly

Babe: Fuck you Buckaroo

Bonky: I would also like to remind you that I have on good authority that you have “big tiddies” so don’t make me use that against you

Babe: I am going to kill Wanda

Babe:Ugh I need coffee

Babe: I’ll talk to you later

Bonky: I’ll be waiting for you babe

Babe: So

Babe: BABE

Bonky: Yes baby?

Babe:

Bonky: Nah, you love it

Babe: Fine

Babe: You still haven’t sent a pic of you though. I might be able to rise Nat and Wanda from the dead if you do

Bonky: What do I get in return?

Babe: The promise that I will keep replying even though you might turn out to be an ugly orc?

Bonky: Not enough

Babe: Fine. I’ll keep talking to you until you want me to stop. Or until I get bored of you

Bonky: Eh, you can do better

Babe: What do you WANT?

Bonky: A pic of you in return

Babe: I’m not sending you nudes, perv

Bonky: If I wanted to see you naked and be a dick about it, I could’ve asked last night, don’t worry

Bonky: But if you’ll know how I look it’s only fair I should know how you look

Babe: That sounds reasonable

Bonky: I’d say it’s a fair exchange

Babe: Fine, you first then

Bonky: If you don’t send me a pic of you afterwards babe I will stop replying, just so you know

Bonky:

Babe: Did you type super hot guy with the most beautiful eyes in the world in Google or something?

Bonky: I’m touched but no. Sam took that photo at a work event

Babe: Bitch do you really expect me to believe this is you? That looks like a guy who just stepped out of a magazine, I highly doubt I would have the luck to text him instead of my ex when drunk

Bonky:

Bonky: Are you always this annoying?

Babe: …

Bonky: What? Do you want me to take a selfie with the fucking newspaper now? I read the news online babe, I’m not getting off of this couch just so I can buy a stupid newspaper to prove it’s me

Babe: Do you have one in a suit?

Bonky: …why am I putting up with this?

Bonky: Hold on

Bonky:

Bonky: It’s been 5 minutes, are you going to reply?

Bonky: You still have to send me a picture of you though, a deal is a deal you know

Bonky: Fine, I warned you

Babe: Shit sorry

Babe: Hi Bucky, this is Natasha

Bonky: Hi Natasha. Is Y/N alright?

Babe: Uhm how should I put this?

Babe: Y/N is crying right now and she can’t reply herself

Bonky: What? What happened? Is she okay?

Babe: Oh yeah

Babe: She’s just crying because (and I’m quoting here) you’re “so beautiful, it’s like all my wet dreams and fantasies have come together. I swear this is some cosmic joke, this is not happening”

Babe: I’m not sure if she’s laughing or crying now

Babe: But she keeps yelling at me that I have to send you the most perfect picture of herself that has ever existed or you will stop talking to her

Babe: I think she started crying again because “I will never live up to that level of perfection, he told me that I have to know which fights to pick”

Babe: Uh yeah so here

Babe: 1 Photo Attached

Bonky: Hey Nat, could you tell Y/N that I would like to talk to her now?

Babe: Sure

Babe: Hey

Bonky: Baby?

Babe: Yeah?

Bonky: You picked the wrong fight if you think “you will never live up to this level of perfection”

Babe: Oh God

Bonky: Stop being an idiot

Bonky: And listen to me

Bonky: I would really like to keep talking to you. Mainly because you’re an idiot who makes me laugh, but it’s also the fact that you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen in my entire life

Babe:

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes oneshot #social media au #bucky barnes social media au #bucky barnes au #social media #bucky barnes texts

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sanchoyo · 4 years

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Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it.

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too.

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?)

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.)

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

#bnha manga spoilers #bnha #sanchoyoanswersasks #league of villains #lov #i am NOt tagging all of them im so sorry its Too Much #but ask to tag #for triggers #if anyone needs them tagged #?#long post #word wall #bananaapplewaffle #im pretty amicable to most ships n stuff and love rare/crack ships lmao #also if anyone has their own headcanons #and wants to share #feel free!#love hearin them too

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rhydium · 3 years

Note

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

#jackal.txt #android infinite au #i need a proper name for this #infinite the jackal #dr starline #starfinite #long post #idw sonic spoilers

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cleaduvalls · 5 years

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i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P I S G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

#this took like 2 hours #spy kids #spy kids spoilers #spoilers #juni cortez #carmen cortez #ingrid cortez #gregorio cortez #minion #fegan floop #floops fooglies #sk1 #robert rodriguez

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brawla · 6 years

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What was his childhood like with his brothers and a single mother, and how did he come out to them? Was he well received? How does it affect all his relationships in life, given the time period?

GH okay i can talk in depth about this so its going under a cut. warnin for talk abt dysphoria, blasphemy (only kind of vaguely referred to), vague implications of nonphysical abuse and potential misgendering/transphobia/etc

so like… he was born a fraternal twin which wasnt so shocking to the family dynamic bc there was already a pair of twins But after having a total of 9 kids and One of them being born biologically female you kinda fixate on that yknow? so. elliot was most definitely Pegged to be the odd one out from the start but he kinda never really was. he played in the same way that his brothers played and loved getting dirty and being a general nuisance and he was, in essence, already One Of The Boys by like age 4. i should note also his oldest brother is 10 years older and most of them have like a ½ y age difference

inserting this bit right here to clarify the dog incident happened when he was 6 and four of them were playing in a dry canal n there were wild dogs hiding in the underpass (and up until then hed only known dogs as nice creatures) so he goes to pet em yadda yadda arms and legs get fucked up real bad. forearms are still wicked sensitive and scarred up but his knees recovered merely because he ran. they didnt have money for hospital bills so he was kinda useless for a while though

so anyway. despite her child obviously being a “““tomboy”““ she still attempted to force him into frilly dresses and do his hair all nice and when he was Really young he didnt super care but eventually noticed the difference in how his mom allowed his brothers to behave vs how she allowed him to behave and it upset him??? and granted this was more when he was like 8 or 9 and it was less “elli go play” and more “elli help me with dinner” even though she often didnt include anybody else in that request. so he starts cutting his own hair and disobeying openly and gets kinda mean because of it (thus his inclusion in being a Town Terror with the other brothers) uhh

they fought a Lot as kids bc margaret wasnt the Best at keeping them in line especially when shed get more concerned with sleeping with other men/going out for the nice bc once chase (oldest) was old enough to technically be in charge shed just kinda Leave sometimes an pray they didnt set the house on fire. because of that it was “im trapped in a house with all my brothers lets wrestle and scream until the neighbors call the cops on us because somebody might be dying” but at the end of the day they still had that Sibling Bond that rose above anything else

moving back onto the Trans Narrative: he realizes somethings up mid/end of middle school and hes not sure how to put it into words but he doesnt Feel Good anymore. doesnt like hearing his deadname or being the singular “girl” of the family. his twin, owen, is like, his first Go To for comfort and owen doesnt know either but he doesnt really Care. one time he tries to tell his mom but she waves him off and tells him never to bring it up again and… he Doesnt. goes through his first couple years of high school horrifically depressed and just barely passing year to year if Even passing until the very beginning of junior year he just Stops going. owen and some of the more fraternal of his brothers, when older, are kinda the only thing that keeps him grounded and ultimately he feels Useless ages 16 to 18

spy is his first contact bc he knows his mom who kinda just laments about how useless this kid who used to be so excited to play baseball with his brothers and run around and race freely is all of the sudden, please make him stop. and spys reluctant but also Guilty and has him flown out to nm for various hit and run jobs and elliot doesnt really realize what hes been thrust into at first but it gets to a point where doing Anything (even Crime) feels so good he doesnt care. inducted officially into the team when hes 19 or 20 and also has his name legally changed within that time period (jeremy is his “formal” name his mom insisted upon when he informed her this was a thing that was happening and she couldnt do anything about it, but if addressed by his actual name hed much rather hear elliot except in Official or as previously stated, formal, settings). voila The Scout is born

he technically comes out to the family when hes like 18/19 and already living out of home and he comes back to visit for a gathering where a lot of people are there includin some of his brothers’ dads. and nobody really knows what to do (mom im trans and also stronger than you so dont try any shit) bc most of them are religious and all of the boys were raised christian even if they were just going to church for the sake of going to church. and like… over time they adapt… margaret pulls the whole “this is all my fault my babys going to hell” thing for a while and makes it about her and some of his brothers do the same (william, the second oldest and michael, one of the other twins are the only two who are like “absolutely not youre disowned never speak to me again” and disallow their kids from seeing him EVEN THOUGH his nieces and nephews love him the Most) but eventually they kinda Get It. and dont Agree with it but cant bear to just leave their baby brother behind. so. its like. they fuck up the pronouns a lot but still Vaguely try. he doesnt talk to them a lot and wishes honestly hed never said anything and just moved out and lived stealth (hes stealth in tfi). he sends money home bc despite all his mom did and said to him bc deep down he still cares but. yknow. he avoids them if he can

SORRY THAT GOT LONG onto other tidbits

he never did baseball in school but played recreationally with the boys every time he got the opportunity to but he did run track when he got to eighth grade/high school and was really fantastic at it. hed run and began exercising initially as a way to beat his brothers but his mom makes some off-handed comment about how its good hes finally doing that, he could bear to lose somea that chub, nobody likes a fat girl (hes 12!) and is like Ah. and hes less self conscious about his weight now bc hes accepted the fact most of his weight is muscle and hes naturally curvy partly bc hes pretty and partly bc hes a runner. hes very very secure in himself and his identity even if he cant just tell people hes trans

he probably wouldve continued religiously if he hadnt been told by multiple sources that the “behaviors” he engaged in would upset god and get him banished to hell for life so he stopped going to church when he moved. of course, god only confirming he was his gift to the earth made him (silently) rub it in his familys face and he stopped uhh. believing in what was taught at churches simply bc he was convinced hed met god and proved all of them wrong? anyway

at the age and place he is he tends not to make lasting relationships with many people, at least romantically, because hes positive one of these days hell move to a place people dont know him and hell have had surgery and suddenly fit in with the cis and be able to settle down then. god knows he has the money for it; but for where hes at he tends not to care, not to tell anybody, n probably hasnt uhhh yknow Bonked for several years which is whatever he lives. He Lives. i think thats all i have to say on this IM SO SORRY but. this ask is very important to me

#Anonymous #➫ＰＯＰＱＵＩＺ！| ASK ♕#➫ＫＩＮＤＯＦＡＢＩＧＤＥＡＬ．| MUSE ♕#➫ＯＨ，ＷＥＤＯＮＥＡＬＲＥＡＤＹ？| OOC ♕#[ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK i think about trans scout every day of my fucking life ]#[ i could probably have put this into better words if i looked back and found my hc threads on twitter but this covers essentially -#- all of the bases So ]

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zacayas · 7 years

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no real regrets

first fic im writing abt olaya since me and ana gave up on zm

maya hooks up with ollie at a frat party and zm ends. apart of the um d&n au bc i can.

honestly this is just a (kinda) drunk!maya fic for ana

word count: 3327

When Maya walked into Delta Nu Gamma - the first frat house she happened upon throwing party - and up the front steps, planning on ignoring the toll person and heading straight inside when a voice caught her off guard. “Maya Hart?” Stopping in her tracks, she looked over only to have to crane her neck up to meet the eyes of some tall mousy haired kid.

Was she supposed to know him? He looked somewhat familiar.

He must’ve caught on to the fact that he wasn’t registering to her because he supplied an answer. “Oliver Grayson.” Oh, now she remembers. AHS pride and joy, the golden boy. He was always the talk of the school, you couldn’t walk into their old high school on a Monday without hearing about his accomplishments during the Friday before. Even people from her old crowd would talk about him, plenty of them thought he was good looking. Something, it seems, that hasn’t changed.

“Ah, yes, The Golden Boy,” he gave her a sheepish smile at the comment.

Unfortunately because Oliver stopped her, Toll Boy noticed her, asking for the $10 entry fee. “Nah, it’s cool Goose, I got it.” Then he moved around ‘Goose’ placing a hand on Maya’s lower back, guiding her to the drinks. “Finally decided to join the party scene?” He raised an eyebrow, pouring her a cup of whatever it was that Delta bought, handing it over to her before getting his own.

“Who says I’m just joining.” He gave her a look which in return just made her shrug.

He’s right, this is her first time in the “party scene” since starting college - something that surprised everyone, Maya Hart going to college - but sometimes you just need to let loose and tonight was one of those nights. Things weren’t exactly paradise at the moment for her, school was as hard as she assumed it’d be (even if she’s only here to study art) and things with her and Zac have hit some sort of wall. She figured it would happen at some point, deep down, but after all the shit they went through in high school she just ignored the possibility of it ever really happening.

It was getting harder recently. She still loved him, he was special to her in a way no one else would be, but she wasn’t sure if she was still in love with him.

Thinking about all that put a weight on her chest she didn’t want to deal with. That’s how she ended up at Delta.

“Didn’t know you went here,” Maya said instead, ignoring her train of thought.

“I can definitely say the same.” That wasn’t surprising, no one expected her to go to college. “I figured you’d stay in New York,” her eyebrows frowned together, “I always thought NYC was like, artist heaven or something.” He continued, bringing his cup to his lips.

“How do you know I’m an artist?” her eyes narrowing, her cup weighing in her hand. Ever since that one fateful high school party where she cheated on Zac, drinking hasn’t really been something she did. And than when she and Zac went public she stopped drinking all together - she was serious about her relationship with him, her stunt at the winter formal wasn’t her only way of proving it. Now that she wanted to let loose, actually have the taste of alcohol burn the back of her throat, she felt awkward about it. It’s only been a couple of years but it’s felt like a lifetime.

“We were in the same art class for four years,” he didn’t even seemed bothered by the fact that she had no idea.

She brought her cup to her lips, taking a giant swig before commenting. It took her a second to regain her baring, the taste feeling foreign. Oliver didn’t make a comment. “Really?”

He nodded, letting out a chuckle, “Yeah. Weirdly enough, it wasn’t hard noticing when you shared a class with Maya Hart or her Band of Misfits.” He smirked at her letting her know exactly what it was that he was implying.

Her response as to roll her eyes.

Maya was surprised that she stuck around Oliver this long, knowing that she didn’t exactly come to this house to socialize with anyone. Though their session of catching up was cut short as someone came up to them, saying they needed people to play some beer game. It didn’t take a lot of convincing for Maya to make her way over to the table, the night quickly becoming a blur after that. She remembers the game, remembers doing shots with Ollie and some randoms, but after that it’s pretty much non-existent until she’s sitting on the couch with Oliver, being forced to drink water and eat bread.

“My buzz is going away,” she would say in between sips and bites.

“That’s sort of the point.” She narrows her eyes at him again but doesn’t say anything.

“What time is it?” Oliver pulls out his phone to tell her it’s just after 3. She watched as he got a couple of text messages that remind her that she probably has texts from Zac. All that makes her want to do is grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and chug it down. Instead she reluctantly just munched down on bread. Another twenty or thirty minutes went by, the alcohol pretty much gone from her system. She and Ollie stayed sitting on the couch, kind of talking kind of not. For someone she's never really talked to, she had no problem sitting with him now. They sort of had the same sense of humor.

Though she always sort of knew that, she vaguely remembers going back and forth when it came to ragging on their old history teacher. Vaguely.

She wasn’t sure how it happened, who leaned forward first, but before she knew it, they were sitting on that couch making out. It’s been awhile since she’s kissed someone that could keep up with her. Don’t get her wrong, she enjoyed kissing Zac, but the boy wasn’t exactly the most experienced. Oliver knew what he was doing, with a lot more than just kissing.

At some point they headed up stairs, clothes got discarded. Maya didn’t really feel the guilt until the next morning when she woke with Oliver’s arm draped around her waist. She moved his arm off her, not really caring about being careful, and started collecting her clothes. “Where you going?” Oliver’s groggily voice asked, making her look up at him as she pulled a leg through her pants.

“Home,” Maya replied. pulling on her shirt. She looked at her phone to check the time and saw her notifications have been blown up by Zac. “Jesus.” His name glaring up at her, making her stomach turn. She knows after this there is no way they were going to last. She fucked this up.

It’s been fucked up for a long time.

Maya was correct about her and Zac not lasting. At first she avoided talking to him for the first two days, not sure what she would say and not really wanting to deal with the matter. By day three she finally answered his FaceTime just to tell him that she fucked up, fucked some guy. Just as blunt as she could make, no point in sugar coating it. At first he was quiet, just staring at her through the phone before he went off. She didn’t blame him. This is the second time this has happened - the first going as far as she did - and she was completely sober when she made the choice to sleep with Oliver.

He yelled at her about how he shouldn’t be surprised that she was sleeping around, that he couldn’t believe he forgave her after the first time. Couldn’t believe he allowed himself to fall in love with her.

It made her cringe, but she took it all. She was aware that after this, there would no long be “Maya and Zac”, hell, there would be no Zac in her life ever again. She didn’t eve care to correct him about the fact that she was sleeping around. Up until she met Oliver, she had been completely faithful to Zac. But she had no energy to or felt any need to say otherwise. Let him hate her, God knows she deserved it.

She didn’t go to another party since than, concentrating on her studies and spending most of her time alone at a coffee shop just off campus. She hadn’t seen Oliver since that night and, though it was a great night, she was thankful for it. Truthfully she wasn’t sure what she’d do if she saw him and what she needed more than anything was to just concentrate on herself. It’s the one thing that she and her mom agreed on after she called her up pending the breakup with Zac.

Dating Zac did help her grow some, got her to want to college and not be as much as a misfit as she once was. But she wasn’t sure who she was by herself and now that she was single that’s what she needed to figure out.

A month or two passed before she ran into Oliver Grayson again. She was at her usual spot in the coffee shop when his voice grabbed her attention. It was a moment of vague remembrance, but when she looked up and saw his mousy brown hair she knew why it sounded familiar. He was standing there with some people who didn’t register at all to her, smiling and chatting it up. It almost made her want to draw him, but she pushed the urge away, returning to writing the essay due in two days time.

Her ears seem to have a mind of their own however, picking up small parts of his conversation.

“Matthews, I’m telling you, no one fucking cares.” The words came from one of his friends, “Ow, what the hell.”

“Don’t talk to Riley that way,” Oliver said, “Unlike us, she’s a pure soul. We must keep it in tack. It’s our only redeeming quality.”

A feminine laugh followed, “That’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said Ollie.”

“No. I’m sure I’ve said stupider things.” At that moment, Maya looked up again to see Oliver smiling down at a brunette in jeans and a flower blouse. She just got a side view of her face but Maya could tell she was attractive. Definitely Maya’s type, if she was looking for someone to pick up.

Just at that moment however, Oliver looked in her direction and caught her eye. Of course, she thought, letting out a sigh. Without so much as a second thought, he made his way over to her, sitting in the vacant chair across from her.

“I don’t remember inviting you to sit down,” she commented, looking at him over his laptop screen.

He shrugged, “I had a feeling I wasn’t gonna get one.”

“So why did you sit down?”

He shrugged again, “I decided to invite myself,” he reached over and picked up her notebook, scanning over the notes she took. “I always enjoyed the work of Caroline Woolard.”

“You know of Caroline Woolard?” She took her book back, raising an eyebrow.

“Kind of, Mom has a couple of her pieces,” he smiled at her, “Anyways! He got up, scooting the chair in, “there’s gonna be another party at Delta if you want to stop by this weekend, if not...” he took her pen and her notebook back again and wrote down his number. “Put it to good use. I have World studies every Wednesday and the professor is the worst.” He gave her a wink and went back to his group of friends, dropping an arm around the only girl there.

She put the number in her phone, though she wasn’t sure why, but never did text Oliver. Not until a good month later. Midterms were coming up and she was starting to stress out and needed some sort of way to get relief. It’s how at 2 am on a Thursday night that she texted him asking if he was free - her roommate having gone home for the weekend, thank God. It didn’t take long for her to convince him to come over, clothes being discarded almost as soon as he walked through her dorm door.

The booty calls sort of became a routine thing. They never really got personal, he’d show up at her dorm - occasionally she’d show up at the frat house - she’d get the release she’d need and that was it. It worked and Maya didn’t feel like she was going against the whole “finding herself” thing she agreed to do.

That was until another month went by and a lot of the students went home for Thanksgiving break. Somehow during that small four day weekend, instead of the usual hit it and quite it, they ended up actually spending time together. Somehow, well Maya was getting dressed he convinced her to go get pizza with him for some sort of attempt at Thanksgiving. They ended up in some hole in the wall that Oliver swore was the best pizza around.

“I know why I didn’t go home,” (they both sort of knew why) Maya said, pizza in hand, “But why didn’t you?”

“Since the divorce they’re pretty much people you want to avoid,” Oliver took a sip of his Coke, “Don’t get me wrong, love ‘em to death, but I’d rather not have to watch the screaming match of a decade happen well I try to peacefully eat mash potatoes.”

The conversation moved on from the serious topic quickly, Oliver bringing up some stories about high school. He’d mention events that were sort of caused by her old Band of Misfits, laughing at her attempts to defend their antics. They both knew that was a lost cause, there was nothing really that could justified.

“Listen, I had no part in that one okay. Johnson decided to let the fireworks off during the dance all on his own.” The mention of their freshman dance were the gym caught fire bringing a smirk to her face.

“You guys were honestly insane.” She nodded, her smirk growing. “And of course you’re proud of that.” He rolled his eyes.

“What about you? Didn’t you ever do anything ‘crazy’ during high school?”

“Never lite a gym on fire if that’s what you’re asking.” She gave him a look, “I once went with a bunch of people to a cabin and went skinny dipping with a couple of girls?”

“That’s weak.”

He mocked an offended look. “Not all of us can have crazy life styles Maya!” He threw his hands in the air, shaking his head.

She let out a small laugh, but truthfully she wasn’t sure if that’s what she call what she had in high school. It could get crazy she supposed, but the rumors were crazier than anything she ever really did back than. They sat in silence for a couple minutes before Oliver opened his mouth again, “Actually, I was convinced to spend the night in an old abandoned asylum that was said to be haunted. If you ask my buddy Trae, that was the craziest thing I’ve done.”

Maya shook her head, “Why would you spend the night in a haunted asylum.”

“Said to be haunted,” he corrected. She narrowed her eyes. “It was nearing Halloween and my girlfriend at the time suggested it. Everyone but Trae thought it was a splendid idea.”

“Trae seems like the rational one.”

“He was.”

She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “So... did the place turn out to be haunted.”

Oliver shrugged, “We thought we saw a figure or two but there was nothing really to prove it. Not sure if I really believe we saw anything or if it was just our minds playing tricks on us.”

“Are you saying you don’t believe in ghosts?”

“Nah, I believe in ghosts, I just don’t think we saw anything that night.” The rest of the night was them talking about possible experiences they’ve had - Maya lived in a shitty part of New York were more than one person has died around her neighborhood, all the kids living their knew a couple of the areas were bound to be haunted. From their they talked about memories in high school, things that are going on in their lives now, almost anything and everything.

It’s been a long while before Maya got this deep with anyone.

She didn’t share much about her personal life, but she was sharing more than she had in a long time.

They were at the coffee shop, Maya actually letting Oliver sit with her as she stuffed, when some randoms came around. “Hey Ollie.” Maya continued to work, but she couldn’t ignore the sweet tone of voice that said his name. She didn’t even have to look up to know Oliver was smiling at whoever spoke.

“Hey Riles.” From her peripheral she could see that he leaned back in his chair. “What’s up?”

“We’re stoppin’ in to get coffee dumbass.” A new voice said. “Ow. Jeez Riley.” Oliver laughed.

“Oh! Okay. Riley, Jones, this Maya.” At this point she looked up, giving the two new comers a forced smile, “Maya. Riley - she went to high school with us - and Jones, her boyfriend.”

Riley sent her a bright smile, one that went from ear to ear and Maya wondered if it hurt, smiling that wide. “Hi! Yeah, I remember you. Didn’t you date Zac?” Maya recoiled at his name. She tried not to give her ex much thought, the guilt of everything that happened still kind of there.

“Um. Yeah.”

Riley’s smile didn’t falter, “I used to date his younger brother,” Maya nodded, looking at Oliver for some sort of social queue on what she was supposed to do. She didn’t do well with small talk and she never really cared to learn how.

“I don’t think she cares Matthews,” Jones said, quietly but enough for everyone to hear.

Oliver let out another laugh, shaking his head. “We still on for Friday?” That caused Maya to raise and eyebrow, curious about what they were going to do Friday.

“Yup!” Again Riley looked over at Maya again before turning attention back to Ollie. “Is Maya coming?”

Oliver opened his mouth, shut it, gave Maya a thoughtful look before shaking his head. “I haven’t asked her yet.” Riley let out a small hum but didn’t say much after that. Soon enough her name got called for her coffee and they were out of their hair.

As if nothing interrupted them, Oliver went back to his work, highlighting things here, jotting down notes there. All Maya did was stare at him with narrowed eyes. About 30 seconds passed before she decided to ask, “What’s going on Friday?”

“A bunch of us are taking a trip up to Universal Studios,” he replied, not even looking up.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He turned a page in his book, “I’ve been meaning to ask you but usually I’m preoccupied with other things when we’re together.”

She leaned forward, disregarding her current work, “And how long have you been planning this trip?”

He shrugged, “A couple days? Maybe?” He looked up at her, “Would you be interested in going?” There was something in his voice that caught her off guard, worry maybe. Outside of studying together at the cafe and that one Thanksgiving dinner, they don’t really do anything together outside having sex. Maybe he thinks she wouldn’t want to go.

“Depends.” He raised an eyebrow, “Are you paying for me?” He let out a laugh.

“Yeah.”

“Than I’d be interested.” He smiled at her but didn’t say anything else about it, returning to his work.

#fic #olaya #userana #d&n #mk

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