NYT's Notable Books of 2023
Each year, we pore over thousands of new books, seeking out the best novels, memoirs, biographies, poetry collections, stories and more. Here are the standouts, selected by the staff of The New York Times Book Review.
AFTER SAPPHO by Selby Wynn Schwartz
Inspired by Sappho’s work, Schwartz’s debut novel offers an alternate history of creativity at the turn of the 20th century, one that centers queer women artists, writers and intellectuals who refused to accept society’s boundaries.
ALL THE SINNERS BLEED by S.A. Cosby
In his earlier thrillers, Cosby worked the outlaw side of the crime genre. In his new one — about a Black sheriff in a rural Southern town, searching for a serial killer who tortures Black children — he’s written a crackling good police procedural.
THE BEE STING by Paul Murray
In Murray’s boisterous tragicomic novel, a once wealthy Irish family struggles with both the aftermath of the 2008 financial crash and their own inner demons.
BIOGRAPHY OF X by Catherine Lacey
Lacey rewrites 20th-century U.S. history through the audacious fictional life story of X, a polarizing female performance artist who made her way from the South to New York City’s downtown art scene.
BIRNAM WOOD by Eleanor Catton
In this action-packed novel from a Booker Prize winner, a collective of activist gardeners crosses paths with a billionaire doomsday prepper on land they each want for different purposes.
BLACKOUTS by Justin Torres
This lyrical, genre-defying novel — winner of the 2023 National Book Award — explores what it means to be erased and how to persist after being wiped away.
BRIGHT YOUNG WOMEN by Jessica Knoll
In her third and most assured novel, Knoll shifts readers’ attention away from a notorious serial killer, Ted Bundy, and onto the lives — and deaths — of the women he killed. Perhaps for the first time in fiction, Knoll pooh-poohs Bundy's much ballyhooed intelligence, celebrating the promise and perspicacity of his victims instead.
CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
This satire — in which prison inmates duel on TV for a chance at freedom — makes readers complicit with the bloodthirsty fans sitting ringside. The fight scenes are so well written they demonstrate how easy it might be to accept a world this sick.
THE COVENANT OF WATER by Abraham Verghese
Verghese’s first novel since “Cutting for Stone” follows generations of a family across 77 years in southwestern India as they contend with political strife and other troubles — capped by a shocking discovery made by the matriarch’s granddaughter, a doctor.
CROOK MANIFESTO by Colson Whitehead
Returning to the world of his novel “Harlem Shuffle,” Whitehead again uses a crime story to illuminate a singular neighborhood at a tipping point — here, Harlem in the 1970s.
THE DELUGE by Stephen Markley
Markley’s second novel confronts the scale and gravity of climate change, tracking a cadre of scientists and activists from the gathering storm of the Obama years to the super-typhoons of future decades. Immersive and ambitious, the book shows the range of its author’s gifts: polyphonic narration, silken sentences and elaborate world-building.
EASTBOUND by Maylis de Kerangal
In de Kerangal’s brief, lyrical novel, translated by Jessica Moore, a young Russian soldier on a trans-Siberian train decides to desert and turns to a civilian passenger, a Frenchwoman, for help.
EMILY WILDE’S ENCYCLOPAEDIA OF FAERIES by Heather Fawcett
The world-building in this tale of a woman documenting a new kind of faerie is exquisite, and the characters are just as textured and richly drawn. This is the kind of folkloric fantasy that remembers the old, blood-ribboned source material about sacrifices and stolen children, but adds a modern gloss.
ENTER GHOST by Isabella Hammad
In Hammad’s second novel, a British Palestinian actor returns to her hometown in Israel to recover from a breakup and spend time with her family. Instead, she’s talked into joining a staging of “Hamlet” in the West Bank, where she has a political awakening.
FORBIDDEN NOTEBOOK by Alba de Céspedes
A best-selling novelist and prominent anti-Fascist in her native Italy, de Céspedes has lately fallen into unjust obscurity. Translated by Ann Goldstein, this elegant novel from the 1950s tells the story of a married mother, Valeria, whose life is transformed when she begins keeping a secret diary.
THE FRAUD by Zadie Smith
Based on a celebrated 19th-century trial in which the defendant was accused of impersonating a nobleman, Smith’s novel offers a vast panoply of London and the English countryside, and successfully locates the social controversies of an era in a handful of characters.
FROM FROM by Monica Youn
In her fourth book of verse, a svelte, intrepid foray into American racism, Youn turns a knowing eye on society’s love-hate relationship with what it sees as the “other.”
A GUEST IN THE HOUSE by Emily Carroll
After a lonely young woman marries a mild-mannered widower and moves into his home, she begins to wonder how his first wife actually died. This graphic novel alternates between black-and-white and overwhelming colors as it explores the mundane and the horrific.
THE HEAVEN & EARTH GROCERY STORE by James McBride
McBride’s latest, an intimate, big-hearted tale of community, opens with a human skeleton found in a well in the 1970s, and then flashes back to the past, to the ’20s and ’30s, to explore the town’s Black, Jewish and immigrant history.
HELLO BEAUTIFUL by Ann Napolitano
In her radiant fourth novel, Napolitano puts a fresh spin on the classic tale of four sisters and the man who joins their family. Take “Little Women,” move it to modern-day Chicago, add more intrigue, lots of basketball and a different kind of boy next door and you’ve got the bones of this thoroughly original story.
A HISTORY OF BURNING by Janika Oza
This remarkable debut novel tells the story of an extended Indo-Ugandan family that is displaced, settled and displaced again.
HOLLY by Stephen King
The scrappy private detective Holly Gibney (who appeared in “The Outsider” and several other novels) returns, this time taking on a missing-persons case that — in typical King fashion — unfolds into a tale of Dickensian proportions.
A HOUSE FOR ALICE by Diana Evans
This polyphonic novel traces one family’s reckoning after the patriarch dies in a fire, as his widow, a Nigerian immigrant, considers returning to her home country and the entire family re-examines the circumstances of their lives.
THE ILIAD by Homer
Emily Wilson’s propulsive new translation of the “Iliad” is buoyant and expressive; she wants this version to be read aloud, and it would certainly be fun to perform.
INK BLOOD SISTER SCRIBE by Emma Törzs
The sisters in Törzs's delightful debut have been raised to protect a collection of magic books that allow their keepers to do incredible things. Their story accelerates like a fugue, ably conducted to a tender conclusion.
KAIROS by Jenny Erpenbeck
This tale of a torrid, yearslong relationship between a young woman and a much older married man — translated from the German by Michael Hofmann — is both profound and moving.
KANTIKA by Elizabeth Graver
Inspired by the life of Graver’s maternal grandmother, this exquisitely imagined family saga spans cultures and continents as it traces the migrations of a Sephardic Jewish girl from turn-of-the-20th-century Constantinople to Barcelona, Havana and, finally, Queens, N.Y.
LAND OF MILK AND HONEY by C Pam Zhang
Zhang’s lush, keenly intelligent novel follows a chef who’s hired to cook for an “elite research community” in the Italian Alps, in a not-so-distant future where industrial-agricultural experiments in America’s heartland have blanketed the globe in a crop-smothering smog.
LONE WOMEN by Victor LaValle
The year is 1915, and the narrator of LaValle’s horror-tinged western has arrived in Montana to cultivate an unforgiving homestead. She’s looking for a fresh start as a single Black woman in a sparsely populated state, but the locked trunk she has in stow holds a terrifying secret.
MONICA by Daniel Clowes
In Clowes’s luminous new work, the titular character, abandoned by her mother as a child, endures a life of calamities before resolving to learn about her origins and track down her parents.
THE MOST SECRET MEMORY OF MEN by Mohamed Mbougar Sarr
Based on a true story and translated by Lara Vergnaud, Sarr’s novel — about a Senegalese writer brought low by a plagiarism scandal — asks sharp questions about the state of African literature in the West.
THE NEW NATURALS by Gabriel Bump
In Bump’s engrossing new novel, a young Black couple, mourning the loss of their newborn daughter and disillusioned with the world, start a utopian society — but tensions both internal and external soon threaten their dreams.
NORTH WOODS by Daniel Mason
Mason’s novel looks at the occupants of a single house in Massachusetts over several centuries, from colonial times to present day. An apple farmer, an abolitionist, a wealthy manufacturer: The book follows these lives and many others, with detours into natural history and crime reportage.
NOT EVEN THE DEAD by Juan Gómez Bárcena
An ex-conquistador in Spanish-ruled, 16th-century Mexico is asked to hunt down an Indigenous prophet in this novel by a leading writer in Spain, splendidly translated by Katie Whittemore. The epic search stretches across much of the continent and, as the author bends time and history, lasts centuries.
THE NURSERY by Szilvia Molnar
“I used to be a translator and now I am a milk bar.” So begins Molnar’s brilliant novel about a new mother falling apart within the four walls of her apartment.
OUR SHARE OF NIGHT by Mariana Enriquez
This dazzling, epic narrative, translated from the Spanish by Megan McDowell, is a bewitching brew of mystery and myth, peopled by mediums who can summon “the Darkness” for a secret society of wealthy occultists seeking to preserve consciousness after death.
PINEAPPLE STREET by Jenny Jackson
Jackson’s smart, dishy debut novel embeds readers in an upper-crust Brooklyn Heights family — its real estate, its secrets, its just-like-you-and-me problems. Does money buy happiness? “Pineapple Street” asks a better question: Does it buy honesty?
THE REFORMATORY by Tananarive Due
Due’s latest — about a Black boy, Robert, who is wrongfully sentenced to a fictionalized version of Florida’s infamous and brutal Dozier School — is both an incisive examination of the lingering traumas of racism and a gripping, ghost-filled horror novel. “The novel’s extended, layered denouement is so heart-smashingly good, it made me late for work,” Randy Boyagoda wrote in his review. “I couldn’t stop reading.”
THE SAINT OF BRIGHT DOORS by Vajra Chandrasekera
Trained to kill by his mother and able to see demons, the protagonist of Chandrasekera’s stunning and lyrical novel flees his destiny as an assassin and winds up in a politically volatile metropolis.
SAME BED DIFFERENT DREAMS by Ed Park
Double agents, sinister corporations, slasher films, U.F.O.s — Park’s long-awaited second novel is packed to the gills with creative elements that enliven his acerbic, comedic and lyrical odyssey into Korean history and American paranoia.
TAKE WHAT YOU NEED by Idra Novey
This elegant novel resonates with implication beyond the taut contours of its central story line. In Novey’s deft hands, the complex relationship between a young woman and her former stepmother hints at the manifold divisions within America itself.
THIS OTHER EDEN by Paul Harding
In his latest novel, inspired by the true story of a devastating 1912 eviction in Maine that displaced an entire mixed-race fishing community, Harding turns that history into a lyrical tale about the fictional Apple Island on the cusp of destruction.
TOM LAKE by Ann Patchett
Locked down on the family’s northern Michigan cherry orchard, three sisters and their mother, a former actress whose long-ago summer fling went on to become a movie star, reflect on love and regret in Patchett’s quiet and reassuring Chekhovian novel.
THE UNSETTLED by Ayana Mathis
This novel follows three generations across time and place: a young mother trying to create a home for herself and her son in 1980s Philadelphia, and her mother, who is trying to save their Alabama hometown from white supremacists seeking to displace her from her land.
VICTORY CITY by Salman Rushdie
Rushdie’s new novel recounts the long life of Pampa Kampana, who creates an empire from magic seeds in 14th-century India. Her world is one of peace, where men and women are equal and all faiths welcome, but the story Rushdie tells is of a state that forever fails to live up to its ideals.
WE COULD BE SO GOOD by Cat Sebastian
This queer midcentury romance — about reporters who meet at work, become friends, move in together and fall in love — lingers on small, everyday acts like bringing home flowers with the groceries, things that loom large because they’re how we connect with others.
WESTERN LANE by Chetna Maroo
In this polished and disciplined debut novel, an 11-year-old Jain girl in London who has just lost her mother turns her attention to the game of squash — which in Maroo’s graceful telling becomes a way into the girl’s grief.
WITNESS by Jamel Brinkley
Set in Brooklyn, and featuring animal rescue workers, florists, volunteers, ghosts and UPS workers, Brinkley’s new collection meditates on what it means to see and be seen.
Y/N by Esther Yi
In this weird and wondrous novel, a bored young woman in thrall to a boy band buys a one-way ticket to Seoul.
YELLOWFACE by R.F. Kuang
Kuang’s first foray outside of the fantasy genre is a breezy and propulsive tale about a white woman who achieves tremendous literary success by stealing a manuscript from a recently deceased Asian friend and passing it off as her own.
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[CN] Victor’s Nostalgic Memories Date (Eng Translation)
“You’re my first.”
“You’re my first, too.”
⌚Warning⌚ This post contains detailed spoilers for a date, 旧忆之约, that is yet to be released on the global server! ♡
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【Subbed Video】
[Heads-up]: Read the transcript for reading, but PLEASE DO WATCH THE VIDEO!! THE BGMS, THE VOICE ACTING, EVERYTHING!! (also, yes, I’ve made my real-time reactions 🤪)
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【Transcript Version】
【Chapter 1】
Not long ago, Victor received a commemorative book.
The sender is his alma mater, Loveland Central Elementary School, which is about to celebrate its 100th anniversary.
The book is filled with old photos of his school. With unending excitement, I relentlessly search for that familiar figure among them.
Little Victor holding up his award certificates with a composed demeanor, hoisting the national flag with aplomb, or standing on the winner’s podium during the sports meet… all these are images of him I haven’t seen before.
MC: Model student, flag-raiser, long-distance running gold medalist… how many more surprises does this man have in store that I still don’t know about?
?? (Victor): What are you muttering to yourself this time?
I look up and find that Victor has entered the bedroom without me noticing.
MC: I can’t help but feel sentimental~ After all, you were that “kid from someone else’s family” when we were little.
–
[Tidbits]: The term MC uses here is “别人家的小孩,” I guess you’ll understand this better if you are an Asian/ of Asian descendance/ have Asian parents LOL; it’s often used to describe how parents spur their own kids into working harder by often mentioning “the other kid” as a role model who usually excels in many aspects~ :> And MC playfully follows this with– he belongs to her/ they’re a family now. So, she can take pride that “the prized boy” is all hers 🤣💕 (aside from the obvious knife about MC being regretful of missing out on each other’s lives, which comes later~ 🥲)
–
Victor: Someone else’s family?
Watching his cool and collected expression as he arches an eyebrow, I cheekily walk up to him.
MC: Hehe, but now you’re mine~
As I notice him smiling slightly, I can’t help but be insatiable and pull him along to join me in flipping through the photo album.
We have just flipped through a few photos of the “Campus Singing Competition” when the person beside me seems to have seen something, causing his pupils to quiver ever so slightly.
Following his gaze, I catch a glimpse of a young kid with dramatic stage makeup, sporting a red dot on the space between his brows.
Before I can take a closer look, the commemorative book in front of me is abruptly snapped shut.
MC: Wait!
Hastily, I clutch his hand down and carefully inspect the photo. There is actually a small caption below it that reads–– “Little Victor, photographed by Dad”
Astounded, I snatch the book and examine it closely–– the child’s solemn expression, with furrowed brows, is unmistakably identical to that of a certain someone I know so well.
I stare at Victor in utter disbelief, while he seems to have already resigned himself and closed his eyes.
MC: Hahahaha–– you’re so cute, hahaha!
Victor: …stop laughing, give me back the book.
MC: Alright, but you have to agree to one condition of mine.
Victor: ...you sure know how to make demands.
MC: Don’t want to agree? Well, then I might just turn you into an emoji pack, huh?
Victor takes a deep breath as if he has reached the limit of his patience. He then takes out his phone, quickly taps on the screen, and holds it to his ear.
Victor: I had planned to bring a certain someone along to visit the school when I’d sign the contract to donate to the school building.
Victor: But since the photos seem enough to satisfy you, I think I’m gonna talk to the school about reducing your title to a colleague.
Hearing his words, I immediately grab his arm, displaying a sincere expression.
MC: Why didn’t you tell me about the building donation before? I’m not laughing anymore, I promise!
He arches an eyebrow and moves his phone a few inches away, as if waiting for me to offer a bigger bargaining chip.
I narrow my eyes and steel myself.
MC: I’ll give you three of my embarrassing childhood photos!
Victor: Deal.
Hearing a muffled chuckle in my ears, I suddenly realize what’s going on. I seize his phone and, sure enough, find that the screen is still locked.
MC: …you’re so childish, Victor!
Despite my reproach, he remains composed and raps my head.
Victor: He who touches ink becomes black, you know?
—
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【Chapter 2】
Victor: …wish strips?
An old metal box is gently placed on the table, inside of which is stacked with many pieces of weathered papers, tinged with a yellow hue.
After the completion of the donation contract signing, only three people remain in the empty conference room— the two of us and the principal.
Principal: When I learned that you were coming back, I inquired with your homeroom teacher about anything that might have been left behind from back then, and she really found it.
Even as I try hard to focus my attention on their conversation, an inevitably innate urge drives me to reach out and flip through the wish strips with my fingers, looking for a certain one.
Soon, a weathered piece of paper catches my eyes, with meticulously and neatly penned six letters that form the name “Victor.”
However, before I can reach my hand for it, a large hand with slender fingers lands on top of the paper––
Forced by the seriousness of the atmosphere we are in now, I can do nothing but watch helplessly as Victor nonchalantly slips the note into his pocket.
Victor: If there’s anything else you need help with in the future, please feel free to contact me again.
Principal: Thank you, Little Vic. Despite your remarkable achievements in the outside world, you still haven’t forgotten your alma mater.
–
[Tidbits]: I’m freaking crying, haha–– look at his Principal still calling this grown-ass man “小李 (Xiao Li)” aksdknld– the sheer adoration you can’t let go of despite the admiration a person has achieved from you– 🥺
–
Victor: You’re too kind. On a different note, I wish to take my girlfriend on a tour of the school later. I wonder if it would be convenient?
Principal: Absolutely! You two are welcome to wander around and have a good time.
–
It’s summer vacation, and the campus is absolutely empty.
The continuous symphony of cicadas seems to transport me through countless summers, carrying me to the past that belongs to him.
Hand in hand, we walk beneath the shade of the sycamore tree, retracing the journey captured in old photos, from the faintly plastic-scented crimson athletic track to the library, and eventually arriving at his former classroom.
–
MC: Where would you sit back then?
Seeing him pointing to a seat in the back row, I press against the window frame and peer inside, yearning to glimpse that small figure across the boundaries of time and space.
MC: Do you have any special memory from your elementary school days?
Victor: What do you mean by special?
MC: Copying homework? Not paying attention in class? Or maybe… puppy love?
It seems like he’s heard something that displeased him; a slight frown creeps onto his face, and he gives me a subtle, scrutinizing look.
Victor: [strikes immediately LMFAO] Your elementary school life was this eventful and colorful? It seems like I underestimated you a little.
MC: Of course not; I didn’t do anything of the sort! I’m just simply curious about your school life~
Victor: It was like any regular elementary school student’s life–– attending classes, doing homework after school, and occasionally playing soccer. Nothing out of the ordinary––
Suddenly, the sound of a series of brisk footsteps interrupts his words. Before long, two kids carrying backpacks appear at the far end of our sight.
Little Boy: Did you check? If you forget to bring your homework again, I won’t come with you next time.
Little Girl: I’ve really brought it this time! Where should we go to do our homework today?
Little Boy: The library.
Little Girl: But we need to stay quiet in the library, and I won’t be able to talk with you there.
Little Boy: …let’s go to the burger joint then.
Watching their departing figures from behind, I tug at the corner of Victor’s clothes.
MC: Have you ever done homework together with other kids?
Victor: Might have done some group assignments at some point.
MC: With you sitting next to them, their study efficiency must have gotten a massive boost. I’m really envious of those classmates who had the chance to do homework with you…
Hearing me say this, Victor’s face takes on a curious and contemplative expression.
Victor: Don’t be envious. I’ve got an idea.
MC: What do you have in mind?
Victor: It just so happens that I have to work tonight. You can bring in your unfinished proposal, and we can “do homework” together.
MC: …I’ll pass. Even a dummy can tell the difference between a friendly invitation and being supervised by a capitalist.
As we are talking, I see the kids from earlier run out of the convenience store in front of the school gate.
With delight on their faces, they share a pack of crisp instant noodles. The savory and crispy aroma from afar feels as if it reaches the tip of my teeth as well.
Just like me, Victor turns his head toward the source of the noise. Upon seeing his reaction, I immediately reach out and take his hand.
MC: Wanna go to the convenience store? It’s my treat!
—
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【Chapter 3】
The store is not big, but it boasts a diverse selection of snacks arranged on the shelves.
However, my eyes are drawn to a seemingly ordinary pack of candy tucked away in the corner. Memories of my elementary school days rush back, when this candy was all the rage for playing pranks, and I also couldn’t resist tasting it once myself––
Even at this very moment, the fast secretion of saliva in my mouth is a vivid reminder of its “special” flavor.
Filled with curiosity, I pick up the candy and shake it at Victor.
MC: This candy used to be so popular back in the day. Have you ever tried it?
Victor: Nope, I haven’t.
MC: Your childhood is missing just a little something, then.
Victor: If being a glutton is your yardstick, you probably had the most complete childhood in the whole world.
Listening to his playful banter, I silently make up my mind to tease him a little. I grab the candy and settle the bill.
Just imagining the look on his face when he tastes the sourness makes me involuntarily curl my lips into a smile. However, realizing that his gaze is fixed on my face, I hasten to temper my smile.
MC: Victor, may I fill in the missing pieces of your childhood?
Victor: No need.
Ignoring his attempt to decline with a shake of his head, I affectionately bring a candy close to his lips.
MC: Come on, give me some face! I never asked any boy students out for snacks back when I was in school. You’re my first.
Upon hearing my words, his motions pause momentarily, and he stares at me fixedly with downcast eyes.
Just when I think he’s going to reject me again, he softly lets his lips part, lowers his head, and eats the candy from my hand.
I instantly widen my eyes, not wanting to miss any nuance of his expression. But all I see him is chewing the candy nonchalantly without any changes in his demeanor.
This isn’t right… could they have changed the recipe? Puzzled, I pop a candy into my mouth, but as soon as it touches my tongue, I grimace from the sourness.
MC: Sss! So sour!
Victor seems to can’t hold back and bursts into laughter.
Victor: Mmm, it’s indeed sour.
MC: You did that on purpose!
As my indignant glare meets his eyes, he arches an eyebrow in response.
Victor: You sure have a talent for turning the tables. But speaking of doing it on purpose—
Victor: Back when I was in school, I never teased or played with any girl students, either. You’re my first, too.
The candy in my mouth still gives rise to an unending stream of sourness, yet I can distinctly taste a sweet flavor.
Victor: So happy that you’re in a silly daze?
Upon hearing his teasing, I realize I’ve been rooted to the spot and giggling like a silly person this whole time. I quickly pretend to be composed and divert the topic.
MC: I was thinking that we visited all the locations where each of the old photos was taken, except for one that slipped through the cracks!
MC: Where was that adorable picture of you with the red dot between your brows taken?
Victor: Why do you always apply your surplus obsession in places where it’s not necessary?
MC: Humph, it took me so much effort to get you to bring me here. Even if I have to dig the school three feet deep today, I’ll definitely find it!
Seeing me steadfastly staring at him, he lets out a sigh and helplessly takes my hand.
Victor: My alma mater had to spend so much effort to reach the lifespan of a hundred years. I’m not letting it be dug up by you.
—
We’re obviously supposed to be searching for the location of the photo. However, Victor brings me back to his old family home, which is currently empty.
Before I can even ask anything, my gaze is captivated by a rather extravagant box of jewelry on the foyer table.
As I let out a small gasp of surprise, Victor also glances over, and his expression turns somewhat speechless.
Victor: Aunt Grace purchased these during her trip abroad. She said you might get tired of seeing me in formal attire, so I should occasionally change things up…
MC: Pfftt! Why didn’t she just send them to you directly?
Victor: Because I declined. She probably planned to take a roundabout approach and ask my dad for help.
MC: Well, that works out perfectly. There’s no need to bother Uncle.
I “obligingly” pat my chest as an expression of “taking responsibility” and put the ornaments in my bag.
MC: But you didn’t especially bring me here just to pick this up, right?
Victor shoots me a wordless glance and then points toward the flower house ahead.
–
Victor: Not just the head is slow, the eyes are slow too.
MC: Hey, you meanie…
After a few seconds, I’m suddenly taken aback, my eyes widening. I pull out the photo from the commemorative book and compare it to the flower house before my eyes. To my surprise, it turns out to be exactly the same.
MC: This photo was actually taken at home?
Victor: After I came back from the performance, the teacher notified us that we needed to take a photo.
MC: But I thought you would remove your makeup right after the performance!
Victor: You’re right. I did wipe it off as soon as I got off the stage. But my dad deliberately used a red seal ink paste to reapply that dot.
Seeing the awkward look on his face, I can’t resist the urge to tease him and fish out the lipstick from my bag.
MC: How is it fair if you just make do with a red seal ink paste? Since the other kids have it on, you should too.
Victor: …I should not have told you.
He firmly grasps my unruly hand, but I use my left hand to snatch the lipstick and persistently keep inching closer to him. At this point, I’m practically draped onto his body.
Just as the lipstick is about to touch his forehead, he suddenly looks behind me.
Victor: Dad, you’re back.
I jump off him in a panic, and with my eyes closed, I immediately bow towards the entrance.
MC: Hello, Uncle!
After waiting for quite a considerable amount of time without any response, I’m beginning to feel slightly puzzled when I hear a soft chuckle from above me.
Victor: Turns out that there are still ways to restrain a certain someone’s out-of-control unruliness.
I raise my head and see that there is no one at the entrance.
Seeing the smirk of triumph in his eyes, I let out a “humph” and decide to turn the tables against him. At this moment, I coincidentally spot the wish strip peeking out from his pocket because of our earlier playful fooling around.
But he’s guessed my intentions, and almost simultaneously, he presses his fingertips on the slip of paper along with me. This results in a brief standoff as neither of us releases our hold.
The silent confrontation lasts for a few seconds until I pout, and that’s when I hear him let out a resigned sigh of compromise. I finally have my wish fulfilled and get my hands on his wish strip.
The paper has already yellowed and become brittle, but the carefully and neatly written words haven’t faded even a bit during the overlong passage of time––
“I want to grow up fast so that I can find her.”
Caught off guard by intruding into the “secret” of his past, I somehow feel a mixture of indescribable emotions flooding my heart.
How come he never mentioned to me that he had such a wish before? I can’t help but lift my eyes to look into his.
And he stares at me for a long, long time, as if he too wants to glean something from my expression. His lips twitch, but he doesn’t utter a single word even after a long time passes by.
Seeing him hesitate like this, I decide to be the one to break the silence first.
MC: Haha, I didn’t expect your wish to be so sincere and honest.
MC: But don’t worry, who didn’t have some little secrets in their childhood? I’ll just pretend I didn’t see it!
Victor: Little secret?
He doesn’t seem to have expected me to say this, causing him to evidently be stunned for a moment. But soon, a glint of playfulness sparks in his eyes.
Victor: Well, that’s a shame. I was originally going to share it with you, but since a certain dummy isn’t curious––
Victor: I guess I’ll just have to leave it be.
—
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【Chapter 4】
He has really done what he said, not uttering a single word of explanation.
He even seems to be in high spirits as he grabs a bottle of whiskey from the liquor cabinet, as if he does not feel my indignant glare fixed on him at all.
Victor: Let’s celebrate together.
MC: Celebrate what?
Victor: I’m really lucky; my wish has come true.
With a hint of tenderness crested between his eyebrows and in his eyes, he uncorks the wine bottle. “Pop”–– the celebration begins, but I feel as if it’s my heart that has begun to deflate.
I push down the bitter feelings in my heart and take a sip of my drink.
MC: Congratulations to you, then.
Victor: Why does this “congratulations” sound a bit like you’re saying it against your will?
Being relentlessly pressed by his step-by-step advances while he is greatly amused, I suddenly feel a mix of embarrassment and anger soaring into my chest.
MC: How should I congratulate you then? Do you want me to take a photo of you for comparison to prove that you’ve grown up properly, just as you wished?
Victor: Sure, how do you plan to take the photo for me?
Originally, it was just an impulsive remark I made out of anger. But his reply suddenly causes me to choke, rendering me momentarily speechless. I can’t help but feel a little itch in my teeth.
However, upon glancing at the extravagant jewelry box in my bag, I narrow my eyes.
The next second, I push him onto the couch and start “hanging” all the jewelry on him without even asking him.
Victor: …are you decorating a Christmas tree?
MC: Since we are taking new photos in the once familiar place, you naturally have to dress up enough like an adult to give them the true value of commemoration.
However, I gradually realize that the ornaments on him don’t look over the top at all; instead, they make him look even more exquisite.
Seeing this, I wickedly pull open a section of his collar, exposing a large expanse of sculpted muscles that charges into my eyes. I can’t help but gulp at the sight.
Victor: Is this how a certain dummy defines an adult?
MC: Why? Can’t I do this?
Hearing his soft chuckle, I huff in anger as I mutter under my breath.
The next second, my wrist is clasped in place, and I find myself falling into his arms. That familiar scent of his hems me tightly.
Victor: Of course you can. But I think there’s still a bit of room for enhancement.
His warm breath grazes my ear now and then, making my heartbeat accelerate involuntarily.
Realizing that my chance to counterattack is slipping through the cracks, I inwardly compose myself and tilt my head slightly, forcefully suppressing my racing heartbeat.
Aiming my gaze at the lipstick on the table, I immediately come up with a plan.
MC: You’re absolutely right; there’s still room for enhancement. It was my bad. I still need to mark you like an adult––
I grab the lipstick and apply several thick coats on my lips, then seal it with a big kiss on his cheek.
The corners of his lips twitch slightly, seemingly evident that he didn’t anticipate my move at all. After a brief moment, he just casually leans back against the couch.
Victor: Have you finished all your preparations for taking the photo?
Looking at his face painted with the mark of my kiss, I nod in satisfaction.
He raises an eyebrow at my reaction, then pulls me closer to him once again.
Victor: Now it’s my turn.
Victor: Photos that hold the true value of commemoration should be taken alongside the witness testimony who made my wish come true.
MC: Witness testimony? Me?
Victor: Is there a third person here?
Victor rubs his temples helplessly, but the smile hanging at the edge of his lips seems to validate the daring conjecture harbored in the depths of my heart.
MC: The “her” you wrote about in your wish strip… it’s me?
Victor: You dummy, who else could it possibly be except you?
Without a moment’s hesitation, he admits it candidly.
In this instant, my heart feels as if it has been drenched.
The mottled wish strip in front of me is akin to the tip of an iceberg I have somehow peered into. It reminds me that in places I’ve never seen, millions of emotions lie buried that I still don’t know about and have yet to fathom.
And those deep eyes of his, which have been fixed on me all along, are so honest and sincere without the slightest concealment, make me surer than ever that––
The impact of our childhood encounter, the bond that forged our destinies together, perhaps runs much deeper than I had ever imagined it to be possible.
It turns out that I have already had my place in his past long ago.
By the time I speak again, my tone has already become joyful.
MC: Ah–– it turns out I had already become your heart’s desire so, so early on. I must have had quite the charm back when I was little, huh~
Victor: …I really underestimated how thick-skinned you can be.
He laughs involuntarily and watches me quietly for a while. The light in his gaze becomes even deeper and more earnest.
Victor: But MC, when I say “I’m lucky,” it’s not because I found the little girl from my past.
Victor: It’s because of the fortunate circumstance–– that little girl turned out to be you.
I instinctively find myself rooted to the spot, feeling a tingling itch sprouting in my heart, as if a wobbly little flower has blossomed within me.
It’s not until he takes hold of my hand that I finally snap out of it. Accompanied by the silky smooth touch of his fingertips, an English word takes form on the glass wall of the flower room –– Morii.
MC: What does it mean?
He lowers his gaze to look at me, his eyes seemingly concealing a subtle smile.
Victor: Originally, for me, those past days were nothing but ordinary moments, days that I would never want to look back on.
Victor: But the moment you stepped inside and looked around, those old times suddenly came to life again.
Victor: Perhaps it’s the gift of a certain dummy; you’ve always made me want to keep holding onto these moments that exist because of you.
His gentle voice is reminiscent of a feather landing in my heart, creating concentric ripples of waves.
I find myself unable to contain my giggle and lean in closer to him.
MC: Then let’s keep holding onto it.
He is slightly stumped for a moment but soon understands the meaning of my words and turns on the camera, aiming it at us. From beginning to end, those eyes of his gazing at me have held a perpetual interplay of tender and fervent glimmers.
Lifting myself up on my toes, I approach the figure that is also drawing closer to me.
Two throbbing hearts appear to have traversed the confines of endless dusty time, seeking solace in each other’s arms time and time again.
Right at this moment, the flash of the camera lights up.
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[Tidbits]: Didn’t wanna break the immersion, so kept it for the last here. The word Victor led MC to write together, i.e., “Morii” means the “desire to capture a fleeting moment that cannot be retained.” It’s basically the ephemeral nature of life, the reminder of everything inevitable. It’s like a time in which you expect the least, a time in which that moment spontaneously confronts you, but there is nothing you can do to preserve it— and the desire to do all you can to keep that moment to yourself is “Morii.” And if you know Victor and Victor x MC’s story, I’m sure you understand why it’s so important that they wrote it together, or rather MC instinctively followed his strokes without asking why— (இ﹏இ`。)❤️
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[Anika’s Long Analysis & Ramblings]
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