#no like i actually feel so upset this sucks now

[healthydoseofhedonism]

i keep thinking about pre mountains of chaos kipperlilly.

she is a child who doesn't know how to process her anger. i dont think she is actually angry at riz because he has struggled and she thinks that gives him an unfair advantage academically. i think shes missplassed her rage putting it on him when really it has nothing to do with him. she's jealous yes, but i think its more that she's upset and dosent know why, she doesn't have any tangible reason to be. she doesn't understand why she feels like this, shes jealous of riz because his life sucks in a way that makes sense to her and she sees that as unfair. because her pain isn't "justified" it doesn't come from tragedy it come from her and thats scary. so she takes it out on riz because that's easier than admitting she needs help.

because the alternative is realising that she might just be angry for the rest of her life, if its not something outside something tangible something she can avenge or defeat then it her own mind that it making her feel like this.

it's unhealthy and cruel and she's putting this on riz when he doesn't deserve it but shes a child and agine pre jy the bad kids didn't even know who she was, its not like she was going out of her way to be an asshole to riz. and i could easily be wrong but it seems like the only reason she is now is because she is being affected by the unnamed rage godess.

#yeah im making a 'maybe you weren't a horrible person maybe you were just 15' post about fictional teen murderer kettlecorn copperpot #im not defending her i just think shes a fascinating character #kipperlilly copperkettle #fantasy high

[non-un-topo]

When in trying to fix a big plot-hole, another bigger plot-hole appears...

#i know this happens with almost every bloody writing project i have but i'm so upset dsfghfds #like it straight up feels dumb now. this story doesn't make sense atm #it's like on of those 'huhuhuh why didn't gandalf just take the eagles to mordor' things #i'm piiiiiissed lol every time i think i've solved it ANOTHER worse plot-hole appears!! #and it takes so much explaining too like i think the story is pretty straightforward but it seems like there are a lot of components to it #i don't want it to be overly simple or too convoluted #if there was no real-life king of tripura this would not be a problem dfghfdsadfh #no like i actually feel so upset this sucks now

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

they fucking phantom planeted my boy

#im UPSET. i dont LIKE this decision #this was LITERALLY a plot point in phantom planet. head in hands. i hate it here #i think i am just caught up in one of my weird hangups i need someone to tell me this was a good plot decision #i think maybe ill feel better when they talk about the actual mechanics of this but as of right now im like #this is bad this is bad this is bad this sucks!!!! #other pd fans . if u are out there. if youre following me #jonesy hasnt listened to the ep now so i cant hear their thoughts yet but. hey pd enjoyers. give me your thoughts on episode 22 #i think im being stupid about it #jrwi spoilers #<< for jonesy to block #reaction time #jrwi prime defenders #prime defenders liveblog

[sweet-star-cookie]

so i finished the teal mask dlc

#i'm not okay #i'm dead fucking serious i have never been so disquieted by a POKEMON GAME PLOT like this before and i don't like it #i'm so upset #look. LOOK. listen it has been established that the player's choices in pokemon do not actually matter outside of mild dialogue changes #i'm totally fine with pokemon moving towards more consequence-based stories #but if you're going to do that here then you NEED TO ACTUALLY /GIVE THE PLAYER A CHOICE/ #THIS PLACE SUCKS I JUST CAME HERE FOR A GOOD TIME AND I'M FEELING SO ATTACKED RIGHT NOW ;;;;;;;; #FUCK YOU CARMINE I HATE YOU #I HATE YOU I HATE YOU #TALK TO ME EVER AGAIN AND I WILL DECK YOU IN THE FACE #YOU FORCED ME TO BE A BAD FRIEND TO THIS SWEET LITTLE BOY AND THEN WE TOOK AWAY HIS ONLY CHANCES AT FRIENDSHIP WITH ME /AND/ OGERPON #ABSOLUTELY HEINOUS #CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT #HE TRIED SO DAMN HARD THE ENTIRE TIME AND DID NOTHING WRONG AND I WILL /DIE ON THIS HILL/ #I'M SORRY KIKI ;;;;_______;;;; #literally he had his completely justified joker moment at the end and my friend was like 'yeah sorry he's evil now' and I just paused #and then turned to her and said 'never love anything' #this is unrelated but if Iruma in M!IK ever turns actually evil like this at any point ever I am defenestrating my tv #i am SO tired and i am betrayed SO often CAN'T HAVE SHIT IN DETROIT ;;;;;;; #WHY CAN'T MY SWEET LITTLE GUYS JUST STAY SWEET LITTLE GUYS FOR ONCE #Kieran is my SON you can't DO THIS TO ME!!!!!! #also i would die for Ogerpon btw #she is my daughter and i love her #i want to squish her little face and hold her in my arms forever #i need a plush of her right the fuck now #if any of you villagers or tourists scare her or make her sad again i will cut you and that is a THREAT #my art #kind of lmao #pokemon

[acidsaladd]

THINKING ABT RISE STARTING AND ENDING WITHOUT ME EVER FINDING OUT UNTIL WAY AFTER THESE ARE REAL TEARS IN MY EYES IM SO AUGH

#wow the feelings that im feeling right now i just #i will never stop talking abt how much it fucking sucks #that #this show that is made with so much love #and that was hoping to be so much more than it ever was #got so fucked over by nickelodeon and by butt hurt fans #like?? woah ok im actually tearing up STOOOPP #and i only ever joined after the movie im so upset #i could have been part of the fandom right when the show was starting #IDK IM SAD I MISS MY BOYS #blabbering

[toastsnaffler]

okay can we have a new rule that if you're my friend and know I struggle with rsd from adhd + you're planning on hanging out with mutual friends but specifically aren't inviting me for whatever reason. Maybe Don't Tell Me About It

#id just rather not know man. even if I cant go or dont particularly want to im going to get stung by it and it rly sucks #its a TON of extra effort i have to put in to emotionally navigate that information without overreacting and making it an issue #wait actually maybe i do need to sit down with her and explain this more explicitly. bc she probably doesnt rly know abt it #even tho ive mentioned it shes rly terrible at reading ppl and i probably dont let on much abt it anyway bc im used to dealing w it #ugh. but also its rly embarrassing to talk abt and ill have to tread so carefully to make sure it doesnt get misinterpreted. hmm #but itd be worth it if she stopped so. ill give it some thought #it makes me feel so unreal sometimes bc i cant always tell if im justifiably upset or if im 'just overreacting' so i assume the latter- #most of the time to give myself space to work thru the emotion and minimise the damage i might cause if i AM just overreacting #but then sometimes later on i realise that it was justified but its too late to bring it back up and anyway ive worked through it #and idk. theres smth self disrespectful abt it all im tired of making space all the time and never taking any up myself #im not THAT upset rn like this is a v minor thing but still. might be time to start nipping this stuff in the bud #aaanyway #im procrastinating eating bc i cooked a nice meal but now im not in the mood to eat it 😭😭 but i gotta fuel up..... #ill find smth to watch hopefully thatll do the trick #yawns so loud bye for now #.diaries

[hauntedtotem]

I think the biggest red flag for me regarding the hopelesspeaches and lio convoy stuff, their entire group (especially lio) has near identical speech patterns and dynamics as my mom's online friend group. Which is less of a red flag and more of a raging wildfire tbh

#I listened to all the calls when they 'leaked' but I didn't know they were leaks I thought lio posted that stuff proudly #I didn't know that they weren't meant to be seen by the public until just now lol #Anyways I'm pleasantly surprised people are talking about how fucked up they were #Bc tbh when I was like 'oh this makes peaches (and everyone else) look like a bitch kinda' the first time I heard the calls- #I thought I was maybe being too judgey or sensitive or something? #But now everyone else is like 'yeah they are all being bitches actually' im like. Oh! So I understood right and wasn't just overreacting #Mostly bc lio was ranting about being a conservative Christian and weird 'nuclear family values' on one call and my immediate thought was #'oh gross Im too biased against this man to be able to look at this- #-discussion objectively. I'm gonna think he sucks regardless of the situation and therefore idk lf im a fair judge ?' #So it's cool to get confirmation from other ppl saying 'oh no ur right he sucks and here's why' #this is the 2nd time this week I got 'no youre not just overreacting. Other ppl are upset too' validation abt a topic. cool #//shade #I'm sure there's plenty of found family groups online that are great but so many of the ones i hear abt feel like a cult imo #My mom is in a group where this dude calls her and other women there his daughters like lio does to peaches and it feels gross to me idk #Ik everyone craves found family connections but. Idkk it feels weird to be taking that in a literal sense and calling them dad/my daughter #Feels like introducing unnecessary power dynamics. #Theres a difference between 'oh this person is like family to me because we're so close' #vs 'oh i am adopting this person and assuming a parental position over them'. that sounds unhealthy I think ? #Edit I just found out lio posted a response but it's midnight and I have a date tomorrow I'm not watching that rn lol #imo both him and peaches are bad and idc if one is worse than the other or whatever. #Peaches has been two faced for a while; lio might've taken advantage of her bc he's kinda creepy. They're both saying the other abused them #This is like jade and julian talking shit about each other to me. Idc guys I hate both of u srry <3 #Iykyk

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[thethingything]

I find it kind of interesting that we have a couple of delusions (and the hallucinations that come with those) that just kind of involve gruesome stuff happening to us, especially because they weren't as gruesome at first but have gotten more so over time.

the hallucinations are all somatic ones (sensations instead of visuals or audio) but they're stuff like I guess what our brain thinks it would feel like if our organs were decomposing, or being eaten by maggots, or just stuff with a similar vibe to that?

I can put up with it for the most part, but like I did nearly throw up on the bed because of it earlier and I'd really like to not experience that again

#personal #thoughts #🍬 post #emetophobia tw #vent post #<- I guess? I mean it kinda sucks but I'm not that upset about it right now #anyway this is partly from the Cotard's delusion and partly because we also get delusions involving being parasitised #I think they're kind of linked together for us. like there's a similar vibe to them somehow #anyway the Cotard's delusion is like... it flares up every so often and gets really intense #but otherwise it's mostly just there in the background as like ''yeah that's a thing we experience'' but not affecting us that much #it's hard to explain how we usually feel about it when it's not flaring up really intensely #but at the moment it is flaring up so it's like... okay I guess this is what we're doing for the foreseeable future #idk we might just wake up later and be like ''oh never mind'' or it might flare up for a few weeks or whatever #also talking about this is wild because like I've definitely mentioned us having it but I'm still aware that everything says it's super rar #even though we've met multiple other people who have it and we had it for years without knowing it had a name or anything #but I'm still paranoid about getting fakeclaimed because people like to be like ''that's so rare. there's no way you can have that'' #like idk what to tell you buddy my brain is convinced that I'm dead and that my organs are decomposing. I'm not happy about it either #being able to double-bookkeep and know we're experiencing a delusion also makes it weirder #because it's like yeah I know it sounds ridiculous and is technically impossible but my brain has decided that none of that matters #and me being like ''well that can't be true'' feels like being in denial so even though I know it's a delusion #a lot of the time it's easier to just lean into it and go ''okay sure I guess I'm dead. who gives a shit'' #anyway let's see how I end up feeling after talking about this because either I'll post it and be like ''yeah this is fine'' #or I'll get paranoid about being fakeclaimed or people being like ''what the actual fuck'' and end up deleting it

[magnusmodig]

rough childhood headcanon qs / @clxscdeyes / no longer accepting !

╰┈➤ 7 . how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

||. one whole "today years old" post!ragnarok and hela's reveal. Except, even then, according to the movie, not really because Thor is still in heavy denial about all of it where Odin is concerned. I've spoken a bit (here) about how Thor adores his family; he idolizes them and views them through blinding rose-colored glasses, (especially when they're deceased) and that is especially true of his circumstances.

So, very often times when the truth clashes with the rose-colored view of them (namely: his father), Thor does one of two things: find a way to justify the words or action with the surrounding context of the time to make it make sense (e.g., well he scolded me harshly because i was talking back), or avoid it altogether. (this is his go-to. no talking about it; thor would rather not right now, so he does not.)

Key example being: he would rather focus on how his father changed his ways, and the Odin that he knew and grew up with was a man who had turned away from pursuing war for war's sake, and was instead one who valued peace and life. He would rather focus on that aspect of Odin, and take in the broader picture of Odin's life. REGARDLESS of the fact that what Thor is deeply, personally affected - not with the realization that Odin changed his ways once upon a time - but by the fact that he lied to him, manipulated him, and controlled and shaped every aspect of his being, for Thor's whole life, JUST to avoid another Hela. Someone who Thor is not, could not be farther from, and never knew about, because Odin (apparently) kept the matter of his true first-born a closely-guarded secret and seemingly would have continued to were it not for Odin's death, Hela's escape, and Ragnarok all coinciding at the same moment in time. And this, all because Thor rationalizes it as "well, I wouldn't want to be remembered and judged based on the person that I used to be. I should extend that same kindness to my father, because he too, changed." (x10 because now Odin is dead. And it's in poor-taste to speak ill of a dead man.)

The problem namely being: Thor only talks about things when Thor decides it's time to talk about things ; when he is ready. ...but as this is a topic that ripple effects down to Thor's core, good luck getting him to open up about it, even just with himself.

#(yknow what sucks most about this is that 2011-2015 thor was on a trajectory where) #(while he still wouldn't talk about a lot of things he wasn't as firmly rooted in /absolute denial/ like he is now >>) #(he would lock up and not talk about his personal feelings but he was still /thinking/ about them) #(- and could grow ready to share his thoughts once he processed through all of it.) #(or at least he would broach the broad concepts while still lightly brushing over 'k but how did it make THOR feel') #(dude would rather choke than talk about his own feelings no support system for thor he's so dumb) #(which is also just so funny because he never /denied/ the fact that he's feeling under the weather either) #(he just... won't elaborate on why he is or how to feel better.) #(but anyways) #(to rationalize the trajectory shift away from 'thor being able to talk about deeply upsetting topics for him even if it's uncomfortable') #(i've decided that so much has happened in such a short amount of time and there's /so/ many things eating at him-) #(-that he's subconsciously decided he's not going to talk much about any of them. because there's just too much.) #(the vibe of 'if i talk about this now i'm going to fall and if i fall i don't know if i can get up again because it's finally too heavy) #(-and i can't afford to fall down bc there's too much at stake outside of me so i just will not take the chance') #(he can if he's ever with someone he truly trusts and he can speak about it NORMALLY if that person pushes him enough) #(because you've always had to needle thor to /actually answer your question/ rather than talk half-way around it) #(//stares at thor 2011 where he never opens up to jane even once not even at the fire-side chat) #(but until then it's big denial mode bc ragnarok messed him up something fierce and i'm not even talking about-) #(-the order of in-universe events that happen in the movie orz) #( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page . #( answered . ) — black feathers fall to a raven's call . #clxscdeyes #( headcanon . ) — glory to the man who toils for his land . may it ever prosper .

[badolmen]

So funny how trauma will just kick you in the fucking teeth with the most random triggers.

#ra speaks #personal #watched the most recent quintin reviews vid which like yeah I went in with expectations of the content #and it’s not like I actively avoid stuff that depicts/discusses abuse I’ve been going to therapy long enough to know my most sensitive #triggers and stuff. but…idk something abt when he got to the drake bell section just set me off something fierce. #I’m all nerves and stress and self loathing/misplaced guilt from my own past bullshit #like brain can we please cool it we’ve been over this for years why you freaking the fuck out now? (I mean. logically. I know why #and how trauma works and that I’m just having emotional flashbacks but still. ugh.) #brain please be real niceys to me I have a meeting in an hour we cannot be having a panic attack. #you’re safe you’re good it wasn’t your fault etc etc can we please go back to being an adult more than a decade past all that? please??? #survived my meeting so I’m gonna vent abt this a bit more bc. let’s be real. #I don’t rememember a solid 3 years of my adolescence and it fucks w me sometimes. #I remember things before 4th grade. I remember 4th grade. then bam I’m in 8th going to high school. and like #I know logistically what happened. I know emotionally I hated/was so fucking scared of [redacted] until I finally left that fucking school. #it’s just. frustrating bc if I remembered maybe I’d feel more justified letting myself get upset abt it. but I don’t so suck it up buttercup #it probably wasn’t even that bad if you don’t actually remember it so pull it together. #hell for all you know it had nothing to do with [redacted] and you were just on bad meds/depressed and forgot three solid years of your life #after meeting [redacted] <- I am not convincing myself unfortunately.

[ailinu]

i am not indulging my worst impulses but i sure do want to.

#i have. a tendency to feel angry/upset when help is offered 'too late'. as it were. #and it's not a good tendency and i'm aware of that and keep a lid on it #it's just very. like. it's very *something* to spend two years in a situation that everyone acknowledges sucks #and it's only after you hit a breaking point and go 'well maybe i should just leave. like maybe i don't have to finish grad school' #and start like actually making preparations to do so #for people to start going 'well we finally have work we need you for. here's what you need to graduate.' #'we can probably get this done in a little over a year' #and i know the right thing to do is figure out what i want and accept the help #and---frankly---probably tough it out and finish grad school #but my goodness i just want to shout and burn bridges #like. 'it's not good to linger too long in grad school' no fucking shit my guy. why haven't you done something about this before. #why hasn't *anyone* done something about this? #newsflash! i needed support and direction *the whole time*! and you all knew it and did nothing! #anyway this is very unprofessional of me and not doing any good. help is help and it's better now than never i guess. #i'm just very upset and it has nowhere to go

[hella1975]

‘im on my way do you want anything from greggs?’ kiss me with tongue

#YES I FUCKING DO LETS GOOOOO #going to the dnd movie with my dnd group if I’d said that string of words to myself a few months ago I would have hate-crimed me #it was supposed to be a big day out where we all met up around now to go to the cinema and then after do a one-shot session #so I’d literally be with them from like. 1-10 #but I cancelled on them for the one-shot bc i am due the FUCK on like in the trenches with it #i legally should not be allowed around people when I’m like this for the greater good #and normally I’d be like ‘suck it up!’ and force myself through the day and the inevitable shitshow of being overwhelmed and overstimulated #and generally just very upset #but i was like you know what no. I’ll go cinema and cancel the one-shot and knowing I don’t have such a full on day #will enable me to enjoy the shorter day significantly more #and low and behold I went from not wanting to get out of bed to buzzing and smiley #literally like a switch being flipped #weird that! almost like accommodating for yourself when you’re not feeling too hot is actually a good thing and not a weakness! #might even allow myself to take painkillers. who is she a misty memory #hella goes to uni

[teememdee]

periodic reminder that this blog is not a safe space for yasuo

#was trying to find good ahri fanart for her birthday. saw too much of him and now i'm upset #he sucks and i do not like him and i think whatever riot is trying with them is terribly forced and i hate it So Much #i just think he is insufferable and ruined king did an abysmal job of trying to convince me of any possible dynamic btwn them #which yes i was a hater going into it but seeing the attempts. laughable. #ahri's conversations with sarah fortune about the same things feel actually genuine and there is actual chemistry there. #even her and PYKE have more of a friendship going on #'one who makes me laugh' WHEREEEEEEE #okay i'm calming down. i'm normal about fictional characters. i hate that guy don't make me look at him #tanner talks

[piplupod]

(can i please get a waffle voice): can i PLEASE having a coping mechanism that doesnt turn maladaptive. can i PLEAAASE have just one !!! i am Begging you, on my hands and knees !!!!! AUGH

#tfw your coping mechanism detaches you from reality and now you're watching yourself warily to make sure u dont fall into That Pit again #skirting around the edge and unhooking my claws from the coping mechanism and holding it gingerly with the tips of my fingers #praying i do not have to put it down entirely. because man..... its slim pickings around here for shit that actually Works fhfjdkl #the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it. #or else Bad Shit happens. that i don't especially want to experience again fhdjdkdl #it'd be so cool to have a brain that didnt do this. so i could just freely la-dee-da along with fun things #instead of the fun things turning Bad bc they went too far fjfkdl #or having to keep a very close eye on myself when i get into new things bc i can see they have the potential to go badly for Me w my brain #sobbing forever honestly. i feel awful. this sucks shit. im trying to be funny about it to cope but im Upset fjfjddkl #im so sick of this type of thing fjdkdl I wish i could just like... be okay. for a while. without it going badly like this fjfkfl #i thought maybe i was on the up finally but nooooo it's just bc i was getting too far from holding onto reality properly #god i hate this pattern. im so fucking angry w it tbh fjfkfl i cannot believe i let myself think this was going to be different fjfkfl #but anyways!! onwards we march and hopefully i figure smth out fjfkdl im uhhhh very tired #going to crawl into bed at the ripe time of 8:30pm and just go listen to music and draw or smth idk fjfkfl this is frustrating #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

[theultracharmingladynoire]

This has been a rant building up for a while now and I just need to put it in here but it's that. I remember the joy and excitement I felt when I watched y/o/i ep 1 - 10 because I literally. Knew nothing about the show except for the fact it was gay?? dvsjgshd but it just was so GOOD but then I. Came across a couple of interpretations of ep 11-12 (which I hadn't watched by then so I had no idea what went down) which was just people being disappointed, people thinking the ending was changed for a season 2, people thinking it was out of nowhere (especially V/ictor's comeback?? I guess??) And that really. messed up my perception of the show?? Like upto then I was forming my own interpretations of the characters and after this I. Was lowkey scared to watch the last two episodes because I was afraid of it being bad™ (if that even makes sense) and then one day even when I did watch them I didn't watch them properly?? Like I even missed a lot of scene and dialogue because I was too nervous about what I had read about it before.

And like. I don't even think those interpretations are entirely wrong for record. I understand that especially when there was a whole week between episodes and when the fandom was so huge and active people might have a very different viewing experience which directly plays into how they interpreted the character arcs! And those interpretation are extremely valid even though I disagree with them. The show definitely leaves a lot upto intrepretation of the viewers so there isn't any interpretation that is necessarily wrong™ (Idk how to phrase this sorry)

But it's just that I wasn't able to form MY own interpretation properly because I was influenced by others' ?? (In lack of a better way to word it) and I just. I've been mulling over this for a whole MONTH and going back and forth and back about the ending. And it just feels very draining when I go out to look for meta and people who had opinions similar to mine and find...like what ten people?? it kind of makes me feel like I am looking at things wrong, and that probably the finale WAS just bad or whatever (which seems to be a more common idea in what I've seen)

I do think there were pacing issues, and I do think the character arcs CAN be interpreted differently than what they are in the finale but I also am a bit sad that not many people tried to recontextualise the show in light of the finale (again, it isn't a MUST But I really wish people tried to if I am making sense?)

And it's sad because I know this can be fun if I just created my own bubble without all the meta and opinions I disagree with but it's hard when that is somehow always what I come across? And I KNOW I should stop reading a post when I see that it may suggest something towards the opinions that I disagree with (because that'll just waste my energy), but then what if I AM wrong? What if those posts are right and I am willingly closing my eye towards what the characters originally are or something?? Is what perplexes me out and really makes me sort of nervous and uneasy(?)

And now it is getting worse and I feel like I am slowly losing all the love I had for this show and it absolutely SUCKS because I just want to enjoy this silly little show and now this is all....just a mess

#N rambles #I feel like I am just repeating things at this point #I've been trying to hold back a lot from venting about this on the main because it just plainly seems like a very trivial thing to be this #upset about #But after weeks of ranting in tags I just feel I really HAVE to say this because it is actually really making me sad #Like. I thought maybe after exams I wouldn't be upset? And I was so excited to do a lot more things for the show #I was so excited and looking forward to this #Especially since I have TOO much of free time now so I also am prone to overthinking in such a situation #And I did and this just sucks and I am fed up with just overthinking and keeping all of this to myself and getting too upset #so. yeah. I still feel very bad but I also think it's probably due to a lot. Of other factors #and this one is not helping #And for one thing: I am actually really nervous about posting this because this seems to be such a dividing topic #And by no means am I saying people shouldn't have been upset - but...yeah #I just. Don't know. I really do wish I could find more people who are active and who liked the finale?? I really want to talk about #The character arcs and themes and ramble about them but there's no one to. talk about it to positively??? #I also want to rewatch the show. It would actually just solve this problem but #I am low-key scared??? I don't think this would be a right time to do it because I am just really confused about this whole issue and it #Will definitely reflect in forming my own opinions and I don't want that #like at this point I just want to discuss about the finale with people who also didn't feel it was too off or ooc or something #And just tried to intrepret it in good faith #Again I don't really care about people disliking it obviously #It's just that*I* wish I could find more people who liked it #(sorry for the weird phrasing in this whole post I am trying to express what I feel but idk how to do it exactly) #Also I used the slashes because I don't want this to turn up on search sorry