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once-upon-an-animation · 10 months

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Some thoughts on Annabeth’s Character Arc

Before I begin, just want to say sorry about not being online much. I’m in a very busy period of my life and haven’t had the mental capacity to address all the responses I’ve gotten on posts and such. Will do that in the future.

That being said, I still enjoy writing, so today, I’m going to write a post sharing my thoughts on Annabeth’s character arc in the original PJO series.

For context, someone posted on Reddit that TTC was their favourite book in the original series because of Annabeth’s absence. The comment resulted in a discussion about why people didn’t like Annabeth’s character. I shared the extremely unpopular opinion that Annabeth’s character peaked in Sea of Monsters for me, and I didn’t really love what was done with her character from TTC onwards. Here’s why:

In general:

• ⁠I feel like her perspective towards Luke lacked a lot of nuance. I’m fine with her not thinking he’s completely evil, but it would have been nice to see her also consider all the harmful things Luke had done before the incident with Silena in TLO. It just felt like her POV was sweeping a lot of those things under the rug even though I know that wasn’t necessarily the intent.

• ⁠The Perachel thing would have been fine if there was an on-page apology. But the fact that there is none and it seemingly took Rachel becoming the Oracle and not being allowed to date Percy for Annabeth to finally stop hating her seems like a missed opportunity to have Annabeth address her pride and the way she acts towards others.

• ⁠On that same note, I have mixed feelings about Annabeth’s overall character arc in PJO. While I feel like her relationships with other characters in the story changed over time, I don’t always feel like she truly changed as a person. I mean, she ended up being right about Luke in the end, so it’s not like she had any major motivation to shift her perspective of the world, change her way of thinking, or work on her personality flaws. Given that her fatal flaw is hubris, I would have loved to see a character arc where her pride gets her in deep trouble and she has to confront it head-on by actively learning humility in different ways. She did that well in the first two books, which is why she peaked for me as a character in SoM, but it feels like TTC lost the rhythm and never picked it back up. I would have liked to see her acknowledge being wrong about the way she treated Rachel, and walking away from the war with a different perspective on Luke other than just “I was right all along”. It would have also been nice to see more people actually call Annabeth out on her BS. Someone other than Percy should have said something to her about her behavior. I feel like Chiron could have done it in a “loving dad who wants the best for you” kind of way. Thalia could have also done it.

Or maybe Annabeth gets a visit from Athena after BoTL, where they talk about the quest, the battle, and the stuff on Daedalus’ laptop, but Athena also expresses disappointment in Annabeth for acting petty and not recognizing Rachel as a useful addition to the quest. Maybe Athena reiterates that she doesn’t approve of Percabeth’s friendship, especially because it seems like Annabeth is letting her feelings cloud her judgement. Annabeth’s arc could have been about learning what true wisdom is. Wisdom and knowledge aren’t the same thing, and wisdom is so much more than just knowing facts and battle plans. Wisdom is about maturity, exercising well-informed judgement, and recognizing the truth about things, including yourself. Humility is a huge aspect of gaining wisdom and I think it could have been a great arc for Annabeth, given her fatal flaw. Her overall arc in HoO could have been a continuation of this, especially with what happens in BoO with Piper in that temple.

• ⁠I don’t really like the way her arc with her dad was resolved. The way the story is written in TTC, it seems to imply that Annabeth was to blame for assuming the worst of her dad/stepmom (which I know was probably not the intent, but it has that vibe). I think there was a better way to acknowledge that Annabeth’s parents do in fact care about her, but didn’t do the best job of showing it when she really needed it and made her feel like she needed to run away.

• ⁠There are tiny things that Rick adds into the way he writes Annabeth that make Annabeth seem kind of inconsiderate, like all the little moments of aggression , the fact that she keeps teasing Percy about Rachel even after everyone else has moved on, or in Crown of Ptolemy where Percy said that he “has a healthy fear of Annabeth because she’s kicked his butt plenty of times” and doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to disagree with her. I know it’s mostly supposed to be amusing, but it’s a little uncomfortable to read at times. It sucks because Annabeth is obviously supposed to be a kind person and in many ways, she is, but these moments don’t always make her look nice.

Whew. Sorry that this was long.

I chalk much of my complaints with Annabeth up to not having much of her POV in the original series. Then again, even if Rick decides to delve deeper into Annabeth’s story in the Disney series, I feel like he’s just generally not that great at writing female characters, so I don’t know how much he’ll be able to improve this. In addition, it feels like Rick has generally been losing sight of his characters and they feel less and less like themselves with every addition to his franchise. I’m genuinely nervous for Chalice of the Gods because I don’t know what he’s going to do with Annabeth’s character and I don’t know how much I trust him, lol.

#PJO #annabeth chase #Percy Jackson and the Olympians #heroes of olympus #rick riordan #pjo hoo toa #HoO #anti PJO #anti annabeth chase #anti percabeth

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avikats66 · 4 months

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Y’all let’s talk about Stolitz. And by talk I mean I’m going to throw this long and extensive analysis at you. Warning for discussion of miscommunication and dubious consent + self esteem issues and self sabotage (pretty canon stuff) ahead:

Stolas didn't initially realize Blitz’s original intentions when they ended up having sex for that first time. It would have only been after Blitz left and he discovered the grimoire gone that he would have realized Blitz only had sex with him in order to take his grimoire. Except that's not quite entirely true. While Blitz definitely seduced Stolas in order to nab the grimoire, he clearly had the opportunity to dupe Stolas and leave him there after he grabbed it. Instead he decided to actually have the sex which Stolas at the time would have thought he was there for in the first place.

This certainly doesn't mean that Blitz had actually been secretly wanting/planning to have sex with Stolas the whole time - it was obviously an extremely unexpected development for him - but that he did choose to do so without Stolas trying to force or extort him in any way. His exact reasons are not explicitly given but can be inferred with reasonable certainty/likelihood. Here's the scenario: we have Blitz about to make off with the grimoire with Stolas (at least seemingly) none the wiser, when Stolas goes and tells him how happy he is that he's doing this and how much it means to him, at this point still believing Blitz had come for the purpose of initiating a sexual/romantic encounter and being ignorant of his actual intentions having been just to steal the grimoire.

Going off of Blitz’s expression we can see he feels bad here. Like wow, this guy genuinely thinks I came here to make moves on him and he is so happy about that, and here I am in actuality just stealing from him. Since I am doing him wrong by stealing from him, I can do him some right by having the great sex that he thinks is happening right now with him. And remember that at this point Stolas himself isn't leveraging this reasoning over Blitz or using it to bargain with him - he has absolutely no idea what's actually going on, after all. The decision Blitz makes to have sex with Stolas at this time is made entirely by himself without any decision-making on Stolas’s part.

So Blitz is feeling a moral obligation (again, coming from his own conscious and not from Stolas trying to influence or guilt trip him) to have sex with Stolas, and also probably an psychological drive to on the basis of emotions like pity and/or empathy. Like this guy is clearly incredibly lonely and horny and will be devastated if Blitz doesn’t have sex with him as he thinks was his intention the whole time. That knowledge and the emotions that knowledge is is apt to provoke can create the desire to do the deed, even if not for the reasons of pre-established mutual attraction and planned activity which is what’s typically behind most instances of consensual sex.

It’s a very natural/human (technically Blitz is a demon but my point still stands given how demons are portrayed to be just like humans when it comes to emotions/intelligence and the capacity to be good and bad and choose to follow their own individual morals) trait to want to do things not because they directly benefit or please us, but because they will those things for others and that makes us feel good - especially if the said thing we do isn’t explicitly negative or unpleasant for us either, as is the situation here. While Blitz certainly didn’t have any personal plans or desires to have sex with Stolas that night, it didn’t seem like something he was actively opposed to or forcing himself to do either. And sex doesn’t necessarily need to have deep and intimate preexisting emotional connection present to be a positive, consensual, and moral experience either.

Of course, there’s also the other underlying factor regarding Blitz’s decision to have sex with Stolas that night, which is that he felt it might be advantageous or even necessary in order to maintain continued access to the grimoire. Again, at this point it would still have been entirely up to Blitz to decide, but it’s a very important factor to consider, especially moving forward as the relationship between the two continues into what we see in the show.

Sometime after that first night, Stolas becomes aware that Blitz has taken his grimoire. Heck, it’s even possible he figured this out during that first night and chose to let Blitz take it. Whatever the case, we don’t know the exact specifics of what went down, just that in the pilot and first episode we see Stolas talking to Blitz about how he’s not actually not supposed to have the grimoire and that he would like to set up an arrangement where he continues to let Blitz keep/use the grimoire and in return Blitz occasionally has amazing sex with him like he did that night.

This is where the consent starts to get (more) muddy and dubious due to the lack of clear communication and resulting misunderstandings. Going over it from the outside, you’d think at this point Stolas would have come to the conclusion that Blitz didn't have any intention of starting a relationship and was just using him with no genuine feelings for him involved, and thus him leveraging the grimoire over Blitz to continue their relationship is just pure extortion. But I don’t that he did, or that it is.

Rather, while Stolas definitely knows that on some levels, the sex Blitz had with him was a practical/transactional action taken to secure use of the grimoire, I think that he also truly believes that there is genuine mutual attraction and affection and want to continue the relationship present between them, and that Blitz knows/believes this as well. I mean, he certainly didn’t force or even plead with Blitz to have sex with him that first time; that was all Blitz’s choice and apparently he made it really good. I’m doubting that at any point that night, Blitz stopped to sit down and say “hey, you know I’m only doing this so I can steal/use your grimoire and I don’t actually feel any attraction towards you or want to start a relationship,” though.

So it’s really not unreasonable that Stolas believes there is something more between him and Blitz, and thus that he’s not blackmailing Blitz to have sex with him using the grimoire, rather that he is more so just negotiating a fair trade between equals. He’s aware of the power imbalance between them in terms of status and the grimoire in theory, but based on his behaviour in canon I don’t think he realizes (or at least not until later during the show as evidenced by him planning to give the crystal) just how impactful that imbalance really is, or that Blitz might actually feel pressured by it in any real way.

At the same time, Blitz is assuming that Stolas is just using him for sex via the leverage of the grimoire and his much higher levels of societal status/power, and that none of the affection or care he shows Blitz is genuine because Stolas understands that Blitz is only using him for the grimoire in return. That last part actually is true on at least some level: Blitz is definitely using his relationship with Stolas to access the grimoire, but I think he’s lying to himself and letting his perception be warped by his trauma and self esteem issues when he claims that there’s nothing more to it.

While he’s shown at times to be exasperated or not really into/put off by Stolas’s horniness (sometimes more so just for comedic effect), we do see him express genuine enjoyment with and care for Stolas throughout the show. It’s not like we’re talking Achilles/Patroclus levels here, but, there is something there on Blitz’s side too. I think the reason Blitz seems unable to properly wrap his head around the fact that Stolas actually genuinely cares for and likes him and that he could actually allow himself to reciprocate those feelings and actions is not just the whole miscommunication thing they’ve got going on as detailed above, but also that Blitz has deep-rooted issues with intimacy and self-esteem.

Blitz has such a low and troubled sense of self worth that he cant seem to fully accept or believe that Stolas would actually care for or like him in any meaningful way for real - especially when combined with the whole grimoire misunderstanding going on and the guilt he likely feels over it in at least some aspects, which is largely why he first had sex with Stolas in the first place. He also definitely seems the type to sabotage his own relationships - likely both on a conscious and unconscious level - due to these feelings of self hate and low worth (I personally believe he did that with Verosika and it was one of the biggest reasons for their breakup and current animosity towards each other) which I have inferred him to have based on canon such as the hallucination he has in Truthseekers).

So Blitz thinks that Stolas thinks that they both know their relationship is just a transaction, a transaction where Stolas definitely has more power, and thus Stolas doesn’t actually care for Blitz or what he wants. That Stolas might sell him out or punish him if he started backing down from their relationship or going too much against or refusing whatever sexual desires Stolas expresses by reporting him to officials or refusing use of the grimoire. And Stolas doesn’t realize that Blitzø thinks this, being himself under the impression that Blitz knows that Stolas does actually care for him and doesn’t want/mean to extort or force him into things he truly doesn’t want with him.

I just want to go over something here now: It’s normal for partners to sometimes do certain things with sex that one party doesn’t particularly enjoy for themselves but chooses to do because they don’t find it overly or particularly unpleasant or unbearable so they want to do it or don’t mind doing it in order to please and give enjoyment to their partner (which in itself can give enjoyment back as I’ve mentioned earlier). As long as there’s clear communication and the ability to set boundaries this is completely normal and fine.

The thing is, we’ve just gone over exactly why there’s a lot of misunderstandings, assumptions, and lack of clear communication going on between Blitz and Stolas. Blitz might possibly be feeling obligated or pressured into having sex with Stolas whenever and however asked due to the grimoire and his knowledge that Stolas could potentially deny him access to it and force him to choose between having sex with him how and when he likes or not having the grimoire (just because someone is okay with/has enjoyed sex with someone in the past does not mean that it’s okay if they are pressured/coerced or forced into having more sex with that same person again when they do not want to) whereas Stolas mistakenly assumes that Blitz knows he wouldn’t try to force or coerce him into sex that he wasn’t ultimately okay with having by using the grimoire as leverage - or any other method - because he doesn’t understand Blitz’s issues with believing/accepting Stolas’s care/affection or fully understand the reality of their power imbalance for himself.

It’s not until Ozzie’s that Stolas really gets that slap-in-the-face wake-up call, but based off the music video and the act of giving Blitz the crystal we can see how genuine and serious he is about this - plus how much he truly loves and cares for Blitz. I could definitely go on about that too, but I think that’s another post!

#stolitz #helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva stolas #fandom ships

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granulesofsand · 2 months

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Hazbin Hotel: Valentino

🗝️🏷️ RAMCOA, perpetration

I spent a few minutes trying to gather what the controversy around Hazbin Hotel entails, and I did not succeed. So I’m going to keep talking about it, because we already watched it and anyone who hasn’t can find video essays that explain far more than the blips of relevance in the show itself.

Valentino. He is actively engaging in trafficking and exploitation of others, and whether he is causing harm is not the question. He is.

It is the manner in which casual viewers cast judgement upon him that stings. Not ‘casual’ as in watching for fun, ‘casual’ as in unaffected by the themes of the media. People who have never been at either end of organized abuse in any capacity.

It comes back to the discussion of what it means when you talk about an archetype rather than a character. Valentino is an interesting character who can be analyzed in combination with techniques such as lighting, music, and motion. Traffickers and exploitative perpetrators are not the same. Traffickers and exploiters are real.

I can tolerate people relating those identities to the character of Valentino — it raises my hackles because I have trauma, not because of the conversation is necessarily offensive.

I don’t like when people take those traits and decide that Valentino is not redeemable or doesn’t deserve redemption, because we don’t know enough about Valentino to grasp how he became the perp he is — instead, people take the base knowledge that OA hurts people and demeans all perpetrators of OA.

We are perpetrators of OA. In our external reality, we were generationally involved in a religious organization that emphasized the spiritual value of harm. We have been tortured repeatedly until our abusers created a new self who would fit the role they needed. We have been hurt this way since we came into this world as a babe, and we have hurt others since we could walk.

That is a world, several worlds, of pain. It was inflicted because it had been so for hundreds of years, and none were capable of ending the cycle. We left, we are alive, because we got very lucky several times over.

And some of those selves — none of us went away after we formed — identify with Valentino. As it stands, the alignment with abusers (beyond immediate coercion) is familiar, and those selves don’t see media reflecting them often.

We are not perpetrating currently. We are in therapy and working together to heal, but it is slow, hard work. It lessens the shame to see what happened to us happened to others, and those selves were not being bad for surviving.

A lot of the ‘evil’ traits Valentino displays are cluster B Personality Disorder traits. People with cluster B PDs often adapted that way through trauma, because that was how they survived.

Giving those selves dignity and respect despite their behavior allows them space to reevaluate whether they still need those behaviors. They have to learn to override the automatic response they relied on for years, and for us they have to do that while dodging training and torture memories designed to keep them in their place.

We are real. Survivors, multiple or singlet, are real. And the only people who get to forgive perpetration are the victims and the perpetrators.

If you were not our victim, your opinion matters far less to us. If you were neither a victim nor a perpetrator, your opinion might as well not exist. It probably shouldn’t, unless you have some lived or learned experience you’re working off.

When you generalize statements about perpetrators, you are going to hit people who were coerced, adapted to survive, or never learned better. That could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back; healing is the worst, sometimes worse than living it the first time, and there are enough barriers without tossing in a poorly thought out comment in the mix.

Valentino exists only in the media and the interpretations of those who consume it. Survivors, including perpetrators, are real. Please try to be more gentle with heavy topics.

#hazbin hotel #valentino #osddid #did osdd #tw trafficking #ramcoa programming #ramcoa #tw ramcoa #traumagenic system #adaptive system #cdd system #ec did #hc did

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guiltygearconfessions · 3 months

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Asuka fans really hate acknowledging that Asuka has lore before gear project and is heavily intertwined with the story of another very important character (chaos). theres a lot of very interesting parallels and topics to be discussed there and the implications of asuka's actions because of his prior connection to The Original!!! but i guess we're all scared of asuchaos or whatever, god forbid we talk about the characters together in any normal capacity and let that side of the fanbase run away portraying them weird as hell i don't like how its an elephant in the room situation. a very big part of asuka's lore none of you want to talk or even speculate about even though it's an inevitability. You guys should take a look at The Original's bio info in japanese. you might learn something interesting that may reframe how you see these two. the english bio leaves out an important detail.

#confessions #asuka r kreutz #guilty gear

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lily-orchard · 7 months

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Where does this idea that you're a "pretending" come from?

Well it comes from a place of "it's another receipt for the pile."

If you want a more nuanced answer that takes "Lily Bad" out of the equation, that's way more complicated. But the reality is there are a lot of mixed race and otherwise displaced native people who are in the process of reconnecting with their heritage.

We often deal with imposter syndrome and a belief that we aren't "native enough" and a fear that our tribe will turn us away. We have this fear specifically because white people will often make out of pocket accusations of being a pretendian to anyone who claims indigenous heritage based on very little and will put those fears into our heads.

But a "pretendian" is someone who will claim both heritage and expertise. They are not someone who is up front and open about the fact that they are displaced, reconnecting, and dealing with imposter syndrome.

But if you happen to be the unlucky person who is dealing with all of that AND has a dozen weirdos with parasocial relationships, they are going to jump on everything, stamp their feet and scream whatever accusation they possibly can.

The big claim they make is that I don't have tribal citizenship, but that's a claim built on no foundation. The only way you would know if I had tribal citizenship or not would be if I told you. And to my knowledge I've never discussed my citizenship with anyone. Even if I had, a post from ten years ago isn't necessarily going to be true today.

The second big claim is that "my estranged ex-sibling said so." But that psychopath hasn't been around in 13 years, any information she has is 13 years old and isn't applicable to today. While her claim that our mother didn't have her status was true in 2011, it is not true today. This is what happens when you run away chasing a guy and don't talk to anyone in any meaningful capacity. Their lives move on without you.

My response to all of this has been "it's none of your business." Whether I have citizenship or not is something you will never know because it's not your business to know and I don't answer to random screechy idiot teenagers who have replaced their brains with memes and scream obscenities at random trans women.

A good rule of thumb is: Don't police people's heritage or how they choose to reconnect. It's none of your business and you're a fucking idiot.

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sophieinwonderland · 8 months

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Just addressing the latest lies about me: No, I didn't call anyone an abuser. 🙄

The rumor mill is apparently running again

It's come to my attention someone has been claiming I called them an abuser. Just to set the record straight, here is what I believe is the comment I made in a discussion that included the classic "you can't prove DID is only caused by trauma" talking point.

Here's a link to a reblog to prove I haven't edited it.

I didn't accuse them of being an abuser. What I did say is that their talking point is designed to associate endogenic systems with abusers. And I stated the fact that it's emotionally manipulative.

It's the classic "think of the children" argument often employed by right-wingers, designed to shutdown critical thinking.

Art, Argument, and Advocacy (2002) argued that the appeal substitutes emotion for reason in debate. Ethicist Jack Marshall wrote in 2005 that the phrase's popularity stems from its capacity to stunt rationality, particularly discourse on morals.

This particular instance is based on a false premise that the only way to prove DID can only be caused by trauma is to traumatize children.

It's also directed at an audience of abuse survivors in a way likely to trigger fight or flight responses.

I am not saying this particular user intentionally is using that tactic either. I said the talking point was emotionally manipulative, not that they personally were. Often, people repeating talking points like these are pawns who just absorb what they're told uncritically and repeat it back to others. (Although, lying about what I said and claiming I called them abusive does make me think they're being emotionally manipulative too.)

The French Oboe Tutor Experiment

Let's say you want to conduct a study on children. You have a hypothesis that the only way children can learn to play the Oboe is to have a tutor from France.

So you gather 200 children. 100 kids make up the experimental group and are taught to play the Oboe by a French tutor.

The other is the control group, and they're not taught to play the Oboe.

By the end of the experiment, the entire experimental group learns how to play the Oboe. But none of the control group do.

Therefore, the researchers conclude that you can only learn how to play the Oboe by being taught by a French tutor.

Proving Causation Doesn't Prove an Exclusive Causation

It shouldn't be hard to see the problem. While "being taught by a French tutor" results in a 100% causation rate compared to the 0% of children who learned to play the Oboe in the control group, this doesn't tell the whole story.

The Oboe is an uncommon instrument to learn in the general population and a group of 100 not having Oboe players isn't remarkable. Alternative hypotheses weren't tested. What would the results have been with a group with a Russian Oboe tutor? With a Korean Oboe tutor? Could some kids learn from online lessons if instructed to?

Likewise, testing a trauma hypothesis of DID could certainly prove causation. But it's not going to prove exclusive causation. It can't show that other things wouldn't be able to cause DID in certain cases.

That requires testing alternative hypotheses.

Which is still unethical...

Again, we can't do that. We can't try to give someone a mental disorder in the name of science.

So neither this proposed study nor similar testing alternative hypotheses for causation can be conducted.

But I want to address the reason that responses to anyone mentioning how the DSM says DID is associated with trauma but doesn't have a requirement is met with this ridiculous talking point of "THAT'S BECAUSE PROVING IT'S CAUSED BY TRAUMA WOULD MAKE US HAVE TO TRAUMATIZE KIDS!"

Traumatizing kids doesn't prove that's the only way to form DID anymore than the French Oboe Tutor Experiment above would somehow prove you can only learn the Oboe from French tutors.

This argument is 100% an emotional manipulation tactic meant to equate any people questioning the science to wanting to abuse children. It's made to trigger emotional reactions and shutdown your critical thinking so you don't question it any further, or to shame you into silence by associating you with child abusers.

And it's made for a base who already hold this view, and for them, the argument just further reinforces why they shouldn't ever question their beliefs.

Keep thinking critically!

To those reading this, keep questioning what you read. Keep thinking critically about it. Don't blindly accept what you're told as fact. Especially when it comes to science. If an argument appears to be based more on stopping you from thinking, be sure to ask yourself why.

#french oboe player #syscourse #sysblr #pro endo #pro endogenic #science #psychology #psychiatry #systems #system #actually a system

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torneko · 7 months

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Dragon Quest and Innovation

A sentiment I've seen shared time and time again is that Dragon Quest is a series that is generally played safe, it's one that has fallen into a comfortable position where each entry is going to be revered and thus has no need to push forward.

I've seen this parroted of course by detractors of the series who cite it as the most generic of JRPGs as well as those who enjoy the series and simply find it to be a comfortable and very refined familiarity.

I, however, disagree with this notion entirely. 11 *does* fit this notion more than other games in the series, but I don't it fair to base an argument on a game that was intended to be an anniversary title, one that celebrates the 30 years of games before it (which it does extraordinarily well, mind. I don't want it to seem for a second like I don't adore that game. I very much do)

What follows will be a discussion on most games in the series and how each of them innovate - either on the series formula or on the genre itself. I have not finished 6 or 7 so I will be skipping those, I've barely touched 10 but it will be mentioned briefly.

The first game has been talked about to death - and will likely be talked about *even more* if I ever get around to doing my silly little video series on DQ - but I digress. Everyone familiar with Dragon Quest knows the impact that this game had. This is the game that defined the JRPG genre and everything that came after. Most games can track some influence back to the original Dragon Quest, whether they realize it or not.

The second game introduced party members, beating the original Final Fantasy to the punch! To this day the Prince of Midenhall is the only Dragon Quest hero who can't use magic in any capacity to further cement the necessity of the other party members.

The third game is where things start to get really interesting though - DQ3 was released in a post FF1 world (albeit by a few months). Both games had class systems, similar to Dungeons and Dragons, but Dragon Quest differentiated itself by allowing you to change classes at any time after a certain point in the main plot. What turns this simple system into a masterclass in nuanced design is that each spell learned by a character is carried over to their new one. Though there are a set number of classes on paper, there are an uncountable amount of combinations that are dictated only really by the amount of effort and time you want to spend engineering them.

My beloved Dragon Quest 4 is the first one that truly captured the narrative structure much of the following games have - but with a presentation that none of them have dared copy. Most DQ games are a series of smaller-scale self-contained stories as you journey to get the macguffin or journey to defeat the big bad, but 4 decided to take the time to give chapters dedicated to introducing various party members, the standout being, of course, Torneko's. Torneko is introduced on his own. He's derivative of the merchant class in 3 and is thus not a fighter, his gameplay isn't the typical jrpg faire and instead is one of playing the market and merchanteering to get the money for gear you logically should not have at your level - this is something that people are still trying to replicate with games like Moonlighter.

Pokémon would not exist as it does without Dragon Quest 5! It posed the question of "what if you could recruit any enemies you face?" Furthermore it decided to experiment with following a protagonist over the course of their full life, it decided to make the player make the decision of who to marry - a massive narrative decision to be handed to them!

I don't want to be typing this all night so I'll quickly go over 9 and say a couple sentences about 10.

9 is very overlooked (outside of tumblr), people are very quick to dismiss it as a "weird glorified spinoff" or whatever when this is incredibly reductive. 9 was a game born to be on a handheld, and thus it was designed to take *full* advantage of that. They *really* didn't play it safe with this one and it created one of my favourite entries in the series! When tasked with translating the DQ formula to handhelds Horii and co. decided to make connectivity a core theme of the games mechanics, allowing individuality in character creation and plenty of goodies available through playing with friends who also owned a copy or by connecting to the internet (since this was the first Dragon Quest game that could do so!)

DQ9s innovations led to the *legendary* Masayuki map! A treasure map for one of the games randomly generated dungeons that was shared between people so much due to its contents that it *ended up referenced in the mainline games* as the Ruby Path of Doom!

And 10. Like I said, I haven't played it, but it's an MMO. That's a first for the series, and that should be enough evidence that this is a series that's ever moving in new directions, one that isn't afraid to take risks.

Dragon Quest 12 has been mentioned to have a more mature tone than the previous entries in the series, as much as this might feel out of left field and as much as I might have my own doubts as to how it would turn out, this is a direction I feel is quite natural for the series in ways. Dragon Quest is ever-evolving, and I'm glad that it isn't trapped in complacency like people for are for some reason convinced it is.

#dragon quest #this is all one draft #i hope this turned out coherent lol

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the-bjd-community-confess · 1 month

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TW: Sexualization of (fictional) minors discussion/CSA mentions

Mod: Batch post 2 to help people avoid the topic if needed.

1. Idc, people who don’t dress and photograph YOSDs like children are creepy af. If you’re dressing your YOSD in lingerie that’s weird as hell and gross.

~Anonymous

2. "child sex sells" what the fuck is wrong with you? shut the fuck up. touch grass. see light. no the hell it does not. can you be fucking normal for five goddamn minutes? god just delete tumblr and get the fuck away from this and all other hobbies you are the worst sort of human being and i hope you get the help you desperately need because you are seeing child abuse in everything and that, i promise you, is a freakass problem to have. why are you like this???

~Anonymous

3. did NOT want to read the vomitous take of "ch*ld s*x sells" on the doll blog today!!!

~Anonymous

4. fandoms full of """child abuse"""

hi mod it's me again, i'm sorry in advance but this fucking topic makes me actually furious and as long as the most sheltered infants on earth continue to submit brain-dead takes on this subject, i'm going to keep showing up in your dms. CW for discussion of actual abuse, hard subjects in general, etc.

(i would put the read more here) [Mod: I hope you don't mind this format instead Anon, this confession deserves its own post but I want to shield readers from the topic if possible with the batchposting 💜]

ok but that's just it, as a fucking csa survivor, most of the "fandoms full of CSA" literally! have none of that! whatsoever! in any capacity! you shitty godforsaken little heathens call sfw romance between two fictional teenagers in a tv show incest-coded, you call grown ass-adults in animated works "child-coded" and justify that as the same as goddamn ABUSE OF REAL LIFE HUMAN BEINGS, and you doxx creators and send them death threats and clog up report lines for real life actual human victims about your fictional bullshit. you are the worst and i want you and anyone who reads this and feels offended by this description to know that you are helping no one and annoying everyone.

do you know what real victims are victimized by? not fiction. not any fiction. not inanimate objects! literally write a story about fictional children being victimized for the plot, and it will not hurt me. if it hurts you, fair! stop reading it. go outside. your Personal Discomfort is not you being abused. learn the fucking difference perhaps! it will not make me... do you have any idea how hard it is to talk about this without getting so extremely goddamn personal? do you have any idea how much it sucks to have to have this discussion over and over and over? do you realize that roughly 10 years ago everyone with a braincell agreed on this point and it's only the last decade that people have been so radicalized to think that wrongthink is real? no, of course not, because most of the people who believe that fiction and reality are 1:1 in how one affects the other have no practical experience with any of the subjects upon which they have the audacity to speak.

listen. i am not going to go into my upbringing. i am not going to tell you what it was like to be raised in a household like mine where actual abuse was genuinely normalized. all i will say is that i was raised in a culture where this sort of abuse was normal and certain types of relationships between adults and minors were considered... sanctioned by the powers that be. are you picking up what i'm laying down? do not talk to me about your good intentions. the fucking argument that fictional content, drawings and toys and all that other inconsequential shit, that it's tantamount to a crime? buddy. bestie! amigo! compadre! that's the same logic that was used to make sure my upbringing was as sheltered and controlled as possible so that the "corrupting influences" of the outside world didn't give us the "wrong ideas". like i truly don't know how you did it but you've reinvented the toxic mindset i grew up hearing! and you are completely blind to it. boggles my fucking brain.

i just want to shake the people who say this shit with a straight face. "wow so violent op maybe you're the toxic one" yeah boy i'm toxic i've been in therapy for most of my life and will continue to be until i am dead. the fucking DRAWING CARTOON PORN IS INDOCTRINATING MINORS WRITING StORIES WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN IS THE SAME AS HARMING A REAL HUMAN crowd are just the same religious wrongthink crowd with a more recent birth-year and a rainbow hat. "anyone can say anything online i don't believe you" cool i don't give a shit. how do you want me to prove it, doxxing myself? you wanna see the fucking recordings anon? think before you speak. first time for everything.

i like this hobby. i enjoy my dumb little dolls and their stupid little faces, i enjoy the peace in changing their style and redoing their faceups, i enjoy being able to represent a diversity of appearances, identities, to make everyone queer and slutty because i'm making up for the lost time in my life where that was not on the table for me. i do Not fucking relish seeing the braindead anti arguments creeping into this hobby and shitting up another thing that myself and other survivors would like to enjoy in peace and quiet.

so let me tell you, from the bottom of my heart, even though no one who needs to hear it will bother to listen to the words of a survivor because it goes against your superiority complex against those nasty fiction enjoyers:

shut the fuck up.

sincerely, god, everyone, and especially survivors of CSA and other abuse against minors.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #Community Confessions

11 notes · View notes

gingerbreadmonsters · 1 year

Text

blood sugar, baby!

or: out of the frying pan...

gn!reader, warnings for imperium grimdarkness, confidently unsettling and i love it. at last, the man of the hour arrives!! i’ve said it once, and i’ll say it again: this fic could NEVER have been possible without the combined brainpower (and capacity for keysmashes) of the gang over on discord, and for them i am forever grateful - @zozo-01, @daveyistheloml, @autisticempathydaemon, @haradasaya, @milophiliac, and of course my beloved @sri-rachaa, vampire enthusiast in residence, to whom we owe the ENORMOUS debt of creating the southern siblings AU which this fic takes place in 💕💕💕 i love you all immensely, and i hope this was worth the wait!! 🥰🥰 takes place after the cataclysm finale ‘All Cruel Things’, so beware spoilers for that. william developing terrible coping mechanisms in 4800 words or less.

a handful of warnings: kidnapping, manipulation, implied stockholm syndrome, lovely is restrained and unable to move (and not in a sexy way), non-consensual trancing, grief and bereavement, extended discussion of blood, light gore, murder, and dead bodies.

i strongly encourage you to mind the warnings, and to stop reading at ANY point if you feel uncomfortable. reader discretion is heavily advised. minors dni. please consider yourself warned.

“Time to wake up, little one.”

It hurts.

If you could find the energy to move, you would. Is that someone talking? The voice isn’t entirely unfamiliar. Your eyes don’t want to open.

“Come on, there you go,” Gloved fingers gently run across your jaw, soft leather smooth against your skin, and an involuntary shudder slices down your back. “Wake up for me, darling, that’s it.”

You’ve heard this voice before. But where? And why can’t you- why can’t you move your- why are your hands-?

"Ah - hold on, darling, don't sit up just yet."

God, your head is spinning. What happened? You were on your way to… wait, what were you trying to do? The fighting, the video, the- the video! You were going to see Sam, that's it, he'd sent those vampires to come and find you, you'd been on your way when-

"We wouldn't want to test those bindings too soon, would we?"

-when it had happened.

It had all been so fast. You're not really sure exactly what had happened - just that sound, rippling through your body, and the world falling away. You can’t run from that sound. You hadn’t wanted to. The sudden rush of displaced air that you know means something coming and fast - for just a single, wonderful second, you’d almost been able to believe it was him. Impossibly fast footsteps coming down the basement steps, echoing through your brain, the promise of warmth and teeth and water. Your mind, full of the world you know best, until all of a sudden your blood turned to ice and the empty earth fell away.

Down, down, down. Yes, that’s it. That was just falling. This is hitting the ground.

“I do apologise for the… circumstances of our meeting. I’d hoped it would all be a bit more civilised, but you know what they say about best laid plans.” Blearily, you squint up at the figure next to you - it feels like you’re lying on a bed, neat lines of rope holding you flat and helpless, and the mattress dips where they’re sitting on the edge of the bed next to you. “Thank goodness I found you in time, hmm?”

Who is this? Everything’s still a little blurry, but you can just about make out the vague lines of the face, the hair, the clothes - although none of it rings a bell. Sounds like a man’s voice, softly accented, but from where? The shape of the vowels, letters sticking and sliding where you don’t expect them… There’s something off about the things he’s saying, too. The cadence of it all is slightly old-fashioned, formal but strangely fond. It doesn’t make sense. Who do you know who speaks like that?

"In any case, do allow me to introduce myself to you.” The man leans down to politely kiss your hand where it’s tied above your head, ever so lightly, and all at once you remember where you’ve heard this voice before. Of course. His face comes into focus, and you understand. He sounds different when you’re not eavesdropping on his phone calls.

“My name is William Solaire, darling. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you."

Sharp teeth in the freezing water. You’re never going to get away, are you?

It’s a question you already know the answer to, but it doesn’t change the fact that both of you feel it when your heart rate starts to climb - he inclines his head slightly in acknowledgment, but thankfully he has the good grace not to mention it. It’s always a bit embarrassing when they point it out. What can you say? It’s not like it’s really your fault. Of all the things you can’t control, your heart has never been the issue.

(...Well. Actually, the jury’s still out on that one.)

“Breathe, little sweetheart,” His smile is soft and easy, deep red eyes crinkling slightly at the corners. Belatedly, you realise that you probably shouldn’t have looked him in the eye. Although, does it really matter? It didn’t help the first time. You wouldn’t be able to do anything either way. “There you go, that’s better. How are you feeling? Not too overwhelmed, I hope.”

If only. It takes you a minute to clear your throat, but you shake your head at the offered glass of water, watching as he places it gently back onto the nightstand by your head. Like hell you’re drinking anything he gives you.

“Where is this?”

He laughs, and it stings a little. “The bedroom, darling. I would have thought that was obvious.”

“No, but-” you press, a little more forcefully this time. “But where? Where are we?”

“Hmm. You must be confused.” Why won’t he tell you where you are? He looks over to the clock on the mantelpiece behind him, and makes as if to get up. “Perhaps I should leave you to rest a little m-”

“No!” Both of you are surprised by how quickly you refuse, but you know that if he leaves, there’s no telling when - if ever - he’ll come back for you. Call it personal experience. And perhaps it’s coming on a bit strongly, but you’re never letting it happen again. Does this one have a murderous other half too?

“I, uh- I’d rather stay awake for a bit.”

William raises an eyebrow at that, but doesn’t push it. “Fair enough, little one. I’m more than happy to keep you company.”

He turns away for a moment, slipping his gloves off and placing them in the box on top of the chest of drawers by the window, and you might as well take the opportunity to look at him properly. He doesn’t look anything like him - although, thinking about it, you probably shouldn’t have expected him to. His hair is much longer, for a start, falling loosely over one shoulder, and the colour is a little lighter too. Physically, he must have been older when he was turned, right? He looks to be in his late twenties, maybe mid-thirties at most. Or maybe that’s just the way he carries himself? You’re not sure. William is all angles, where his face was curves. Ruby studs, long eyelashes, silk and wool and brocade. The sort of gentleman that belonged to times gone by.

Beautiful, so very beautiful, but not quite in the same way. Still, something about the set of his mouth, the arch of his brow - he tilts his head as he catches you staring, and for a split second you’re reminded of him. Maybe this is where Vincent got it from?

Idly, one elegant finger skims back and forth along the line of rope that keeps your middle down against the mattress. “I suppose we ought to address the elephant in the room, while we’re here.”

Here it comes. What’s he going to want? They always want something. “I can g-”

"You were Vincent's, weren't you?”

Laughter. The name burns through your blood, a lit match dropped in petrol, and the words don’t come. Vincent. Locks turning and hands grasping and it’s so, so cold. Hours and hours in his arms, and even more spent wishing that you were. Spinning, drifting, light as air as he anchors you down, your helium head floating as his lips leave your neck. The world outside sounds better in his voice. Vincent, Vincent, Vincent. Honey, I’m home. Footsteps down the basement stairs. How long until it’s dinnertime?

“It’s alright, little one.” Oh. You should probably have actually said something. He doesn’t seem to mind, though, which is nice. “You don't need to say anything. I can tell.”

Of course he can. You’ve never really thought of yourself as an open book, but maybe you ought to reconsider. These vampiric sorts seem to have a thing for knowing you a little too well.

Silence, for a little while. You take the chance to look a little more closely at the room around you - it looks old, like the set of some kind of period drama, all rich and dark and plush. An elaborately-carved armoire, tasteful paintings in ornate frames, a dark inkwell over on the writing desk. How unusual. You didn’t realise anyone still wrote with those any more.

“You were with him for quite a while, weren’t you? One of the longest, I believe.”

The curtains are drawn so you can’t see outside, thick and heavy to keep the sunlight at bay, but that’s not really a surprise. Is it even daytime at all? The mantel clock ticks away, and you shift a little bit under your bindings. They’re not tight tight, but they’re kind of uncomfortable without something to distract you.

“Forgive me, but I feel I ought to ask.”

Distraction, however, doesn’t take long to arrive. A heavy breath and a heavier question, spoken into the still air like a death sentence, and there’s something strange about the executioner’s voice.

"Did you love him, little one?"

You're not sure you know the answer. Love was something different in the basement.

"I’ll tell you the truth, darling. I couldn't tell you exactly how he felt about you. The bond doesn't work like that - I could feel a little of his emotions, the strong ones, but not all the time.”

The strong ones. Makes sense. It always was about strength, with him. Tested and tied up and taken apart until it all made sense again, the power in blood and the blood that bestows power. A warm meal, or a bedwarmer, or sometimes both at once. What was it all for, then? Devotion? Loyalty? Obsession? A legion of puppets, lovers that never were, fighting and dying to die by his side. Heartstrings all in a web, the ghost of a spider’s soft, bloody touch hanging over you.

In your mind, all the time, Vincent had been everything. At first it had been scary, until it wasn’t anymore. When had it happened? When had you known? The pieces falling into place, his hand in yours as you kiss the key that holds you cuffed to him. Had you loved him? Do you love him now? You can’t say for sure, and somehow that’s scarier than any yes or no you could give.

Soft lips, sharp teeth. Everything has its price, and love is no exception.

"He cared for you, that much is certain. In what way, I don't know for sure. But - oh, darling, don't cry - here, let me get you-"

The handkerchief is soft and delicate, trimmed with elaborate lace, and his touch is impossibly light as he brushes the tears from your face. Ugly, ugly crying, pretty thing. If you could hide your face, you would - as it is, you’re resigned to your embarrassment. The blade doesn’t stop swinging, and the axe speaks again.

"I don't know if he loved you. Love and vampires don't tend to run in the same circles, nowadays. But he was my son, and he couldn't lie to me - you were special to him, little one, even if he never told me how."

Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking, but he almost sounds… sad, in a way you don’t really know how to describe. Maybe sad isn’t the right word at all - regretful? Mournful? Bittersweet? You can’t find the words for him, and for some reason the thought makes you sad too. He doesn’t sound like a murderer, or a kidnapper, or a monster. Just a man. A father, waiting at the door for a son who won’t come home.

"Indulge me for a minute, won’t you?” He asks, and you agree - although, to be honest, it’s not like you have many options right now. “Let me tell you about my children."

"My daughter's name was Alexis, and she was my pride and joy. I found her some time ago, now - it must have been maybe fifty years or so? A long time, I imagine, for you. But for me, it feels like only yesterday. An empty, lonely sort of girl, even if she tried not to show it. We met, and I felt at once a great sadness in my heart to know her pain - after a little while, I offered her a choice, and she took it freely.”

You’d never known Vincent had a sister, and the thought that he’d never bothered to tell you… It stings. What had she been to him? Listening to William talk about her, it’s hard to figure out what sort of person she must have been, but you think you get the picture. Lonely. Empty. Nowhere to go. You know a little something about that.

“My first progeny. It was an… unusual feeling, to begin with, but not an unwelcome one. I have always felt that family comes first, above all else, you know. It was a relief to once again find myself with the beginnings of a real family again, although perhaps it’s a little misleading to call us blood relatives. It was no matter. I loved her all the same, despite those who didn’t believe me.”

He must see your confusion on your face at his words, palms upturning as if to say there was no choice. “I gave her to the Department, you see. And yes, I know. A callous, rotten thing to do to my own daughter, betrayal on an unforgivable scale. But you have to understand - I did not hand her invocations over for nothing. My clan was growing, and as their king I knew that we could not survive without a place for us to stake our claim.”

Oh. Of course, he’s a vampire king. Vincent had mentioned it a few times, but mostly just in passing - and he’d never bothered to explain what it really meant. “I needed territory, and for that I needed to appease the Department. And what the Department wanted, more than anything else in the world, was the mind of the Solaire princess.”

“They thought she would not be loyal to me any more, that they could turn her against me and I would be helpless to defend myself against my own daughter. Or perhaps they simpy assumed that we held no love for each other, as happens to so many Makers and their progenies these days.” He laughs, gentle and a little bit mean, and you get the feeling that the joke isn’t at your expense this time. “They sent her to kill me, and… well. Let me assure you that neither of those things were true.”

He reaches across to offer you the glass of water again, taking a sip from it himself when you shake your head. Long fingers wrapping around the glass, eyes closing for just a second. If he notices your gaze fixed on his throat as he swallows, he doesn’t say anything.

“Vincent, on the other hand, was less intentional, I suppose you could say. Did he ever tell you how he was turned?”

Did he? “No, I don’t think so,” you say, shaking your head slightly. He hadn’t said, and you hadn’t asked. “It never really came up.”

“I see. I’ll have to tell you the full story another time - it’s quite a long one, and I wouldn’t want to bore you, darling. Suffice to say, I turned him only a short while ago, about twenty years, but what wonderful years they were. Difficult at first, but wonderful all the same.”

“I can’t imagine he mentioned me much to you, but I don’t begrudge him that.” A quiet sigh, resigned, and your heart breaks a little further. “Vincent and I did not often see eye-to-eye on certain matters, it’s true. But he was my progeny, always, and I loved him anyway.”

His tone turns bitter, smile souring in his voice, and the air thickens like a storm rolling in. Lightning striking the sea, waves thrashing in the darkness of the open water, and the spray threatens to swallow you whole.

“My son is gone, now, and my daughter too. I felt it as they disappeared, and do you know what it was like? Little one, I am very, very old, and yet it was like nothing I had ever known.”

“I found Alexis the night she died. The King-Imperial,” he spits, like the words themselves are poison, “thought he had taken her from me, but that has never been true. She was my daughter then, and she is my daughter still. I will always know her, and I will always bring her home to me.”

“My beautiful girl, in pieces on the floor, and not even the dignity to close the door behind them. I wanted to close her eyes and pretend that she was sleeping. I wanted to kiss her face and make sure she had peaceful dreams. I wanted to smooth away her hair and place her pillow underneath her, so that when she woke up, she would wake up happy.”

He smiles, ice and grief and rage, and all at once the earth is cold again.

“But I could not do those things, because the creatures that killed my daughter had also stolen her head.”

Oh.

There’s nothing you can say to that. You cast your eyes down politely, sympathetic silence, and give him a second to compose himself, if he wants it. Some things should not be intruded upon, after all, even if he’s the one who brought it up. It would be rude to stare.

“Don’t worry, little one.” A half-hearted, hollow sort of laugh. “I told you I would always find her, and I did. Do you know where I found her? Now that I think about it, you might even have seen her - although you probably wouldn’t have realised it at the time.”

…What?

“Those wolves that took you from Vincent’s house. I assume they didn’t let you look.”

You nod. You don’t remember his name, but the one who had unlocked your door had been very careful to cover your eyes as he brought you up and out of the house. He hadn’t told you why. You hadn’t asked him, either.

“Well, they did not extend the same courtesy to me. After I brought you here, I returned to Vincent’s house, and I found what I was looking for.”

Oh, God. You can see where this is going. “They may not have been twins in the traditional sense, but they have always been cut from the same cloth. When I found my son, torn to ribbons in the hallway, cooling in his own blood, I found my daughter’s head alongside him.”

…So it’s true.

So he really is dead.

So he really isn’t coming back for you.

“My Vincent, my only boy.” Close as he is to you, you can just about hear the faintest tremble in his voice as he speaks again. “I had never had a son before, you know - but for him, I would have done anything. I will still do anything. My blood is his as well. If there is one decision, in all my many years, that I will never come to regret, it will be the choice I made that night - to give that boy my name.”

Tears gather, but don’t fall. You look up at him, at this man who by all logic you must despise, and he looks so very sad that you can’t help but feel sorry for him. Nobody deserves that. It must be very difficult to keep a crown upon your head, especially when your head is no longer attached to your body. The children of William Solaire lie dead and rotting, royal flesh dripping off of golden bones, and a father learns how it feels to not be a father anymore.

(It doesn’t make sense. Who in their right mind would feel sorry for their kidnapper?)

(...On second thoughts, don’t answer that.)

He leans over to pick up the glass again, free hand discreetly brushing across his waterline, and takes another sip. Once again, he offers it to you, but after a little hesitation you refuse once more.

“I’m sorry, dearest,” he says mournfully, “But I can’t tell you why they died. To tell you the truth, I wish I knew myself. Perhaps, then, we both might be able to find a little peace.”

So he doesn’t know either. Will you be left wondering forever, then? “I have my suspicions. Some die as they lived, and my children were always at each other’s throats. Alexis and Vincent are gone, and I know how. But there’s no way of knowing why - you and I will simply have to settle with that.”

He reaches over to stroke one hand softly over your cheek, cool palm cupping your jaw. “That being said, all is not lost, little darling. Don’t worry. I know who I’m looking for.”

A cruel grin, all fangs. “I’ll get us both revenge.”

The promise of revenge is a tempting one. The small, rational part of your brain tries to tell you that it won’t bring him back. An even smaller part of your brain tries to tell you that you probably shouldn’t want him back at all. Neither voice is difficult to ignore, especially not when you nod in agreement and William’s satisfied smile answers you.

“I- ah-” Behind him, the mantel clock chimes on the hour, startling both of you - he looks faintly annoyed as he turns to look. “Sorry about that, darling. I’d completely forgotten the time.”

“It’s, uh…” Again, you’re not really sure what to say to that. It’s not like you could really go anywhere right now. “It’s fine.”

In any case, it seems to have reminded him of something. Glass still in hand, his fingers tap against the cut crystal. The pattern seems deliberate, but you don’t recognise the rhythm.

“I confess, my dear. I may not have been entirely forthcoming about my reason for bringing you here.”

It’s almost funny, how aware of your own pulse you become. Deja vu, maybe.

“I don’t know if he ever told you, but my son did not care for very many things, in his time. I believe you were one of those rare exceptions. It might not be much, but I hope you can find a little comfort in that.” Delicately, he rests one hand on your side, in the gap between the ropes that span your waist and your hips. You don’t move at all.

“I have been alive for many years, little one, and in that time I’ve learned a great many things about what it means to disappear. Names and faces and stories that I thought would last forever, which now only I, alone, remember.”

“It is said that as long as a person is loved, they are alive, is it not? I have seen what happens when that love, too, disappears. The torch-bearers meet their ends, and the flame is lost forever. Love only lasts as long as the life that remembers it, and my life has been very long indeed. My blood has always known the sun, and I wonder that my heart has not yet turned to ash with all the love I force it to hold.”

He raises his nearly-empty glass to you, a polite suggestion of a toast, charming and melancholy in equal measure. “You love him. I love him too. In us, may he never disappear.”

To that, you have no reply.

“You and I, bearers of the flame.” An empty glass, placed lightly back on its coaster. “Perhaps I did not know him as well as I should have, and that will be my burden. But what little of my son remains, I have no choice but to protect.”

“Vincent, Alexis. I have already lost them once. Never again.”

He shifts slightly, angling himself to face you slightly better, and you have the sudden, urgent sense that whatever you do, you must not look him in the eye.

“Proof, that my son existed at all. That he lived, and was loved, and was known. He cared so much for you, and I cannot hold him all on my own.” His voice, so impossibly soft and kind. “Won’t you help me, little one?”

“I…” He makes it sound very tempting, but there’s doubt still. “What should- what are- what do you want me to do?”

“Not very much, darling,” he replies. “All you have to do is look at me.”

He must hear your heartbeat quickening, as he presses a gentle hand to your chest. “I know it’s scary, little one, I know. But I’m giving you the choice, no? I did the same for Vincent, when I met him, and Alexis when I met her. Do you think they regretted it?”

“...No?” It comes out nervously, eyes firmly fixed on the mantel clock behind him, but he seems pleased nonetheless.

“Exactly. I know what I’m doing, sweet thing, it’s alright. I want you to be happy, don’t I? I don’t want to hurt you. What on earth would I want that for? A sweet, precious little thing like you - I don’t want to make you cry, or make you scared, or make you sad, darling. There’s just one thing I want from you, my dear, and it’s very simple.”

One more time, a kind hand comes up to hold your face. Gentle pressure lifts your chin, turning your gaze upwards, and as ever you are powerless to resist. You look, and look, and keep looking - dark crimson eyes catch your own, and for some reason it’s impossible to look away.

“There you are. My little thrall-to-be, hmm? Aren’t you good.” Mesmerised, you’re only faintly aware of the rope that still binds your body to the bed - the whole world shrinks until there’s just this room, and this voice, and these eyes. You shiver slightly, but you’re not sure why. “Oh, is that it? That’s what you want - to be good for me?” A playful smirk. “You spoil me, darling.”

The haze in your mind is thick and heavy, swirling through your brain, taking any words you might once have had along with it. Vaguely, you remember having something you wanted to say, but what was it?

“I know, I know. It’ll only be a second, I promise.”

Oh, it can’t have been important.

“Can you focus on me, my dear?”

It’s difficult, but you try your best. Gradually, the world comes back into focus, and he’s so very, very beautiful.

“That’s it. Breathe, sweetheart,” he smiles, and your lungs obey. “I’ve got you.”

If anyone asks, you don’t really know what happens next.

It’s funny - the waves crashing over you, tide winding around your waist and pulling you out to sea. Wood and salt and sand, the moon on your mind and blood in the water. Life is soft, all of a sudden, and it’s a pair of kind, red eyes that create reality. You’re floating, washed smooth in the ocean, and that’s all that matters.

Maybe the mantel clock chimes again, once or twice or not at all. Who’s to say? Easy, easy, easy. Cool hands lowering you into sleep, and the faintest kiss, pressed against your salt-soaked hair. Your head spins in the surf, and for a moment it feels like deja vu. Perhaps history really does repeat itself. Unfortunately, you wouldn’t know.

He leaves, and you dream.

There’s a house in the woods, a very long way away, to which no living person owns the key. It’s a very nice house, or perhaps it used to be - there are not many people left who have ever seen it, so it’s difficult to say. Leaves tumble to the dirt, and the lock freezes in the bitterness of night.

Nothing moves, in this house. Not any more. The bedroom curtains are still closed, and the tap drips eternally. Clothes that will never be ironed, a cabinet door that rusts still half-open. A kettle that doesn’t boil. A calendar that never reaches year’s end.

Dark wood for a hallway floor - a shame that not all stains can be hidden. Spilling, gushing, splashing, and can you really call it lifeblood if there’s no life left in it? The floorboards soaked in blood, dried down to a thick, tacky film that clings to the roof of your mouth like toffee. How sweet. A man who was a boy who was a monster, black eyes forever open, the pieces of him all but stuck to the floor. William Solaire leaves the lights off as he cries, carrying the spun glass that used to be his son in his arms, and nobody ever finds this house again.

Houses in the woods are supposed to be haunted, people say. This one is not. There are no ghosts in the house of an undead man.

You, perhaps, are the exception.

masterlist

this is an original work by @gingerbreadmonsters - please do not repost or misattribute

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redacted lovely #redacted william #redacted imperium #redacted angst #redacted vincent #redacted alexis #ginger writes #gingerbreadmonsters #ginger after dark

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please-picturemeintheweeds · 5 months

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I spent 40 minutes in therapy today talking about the role of narrative and self creation in Taylor’s interview, and how she acts in her life as the main character- she steps into her power. Which is of course a story I was telling about myself, too. And I’ve been thinking a lot about symbolism and fairy tales, and I just… love that Taylor is embracing her symbolic role as the people’s pop princess. I appreciate the scale of her cultural contributions, including introducing an entire generation of young women to a new vision of ourselves as subjects rather than objects in music (and yes, for many of us, our first taste of “modern” feminism that felt a whole lot better than the version my mom’s generation ascribes to which feels more like “you don’t need any help because you are independent”. By putting it so simply in 2014 during the cultural wave of legalizing queer marriage, Taylor made being a feminist cool. She gave me the basic language to seek out and begin exploring intersectional feminism on my own as a bright eyed 17 year old girl).

I think the part that bothers me most about the reductionist discourse - is she “good” or “bad”- is that it conflates Taylor’s real life with her symbolic place in pop culture. The discourse about her every move distills a full complete human woman down to her reputation as either the evil queen/witch/capitalist, or the slut, or the wife, or the crazy ex. And then, once the role is chosen, she mirrors how “good” the person discussing her imagines themself to be. I’d personally rather view her as the hero because that’s the kind of agency I am trying to empower myself with.

The confusing part is that lots of people have really wonderful sharp critiques of what Taylor’s real life symbolizes about our world, but those messages come out as personal attacks on a real human being, often by belittling her intelligence, accomplishments, impact, and character- as if none of us have ever been friends with a shitty person, or been a shitty person ourselves (sometimes even repeatedly). For example, I am fascinated by the white feminism phenomenon that emerged during the 1989 era, and by the monetizing of self care, the rise of influencer culture, and how it reflects on the political landscape over the last 10 years, and how my development from girl to woman was impacted by all of it- none of that discussion requires a decision on if Taylor herself is good or bad. We can’t keep reducing each other, including celebrities, down to binaries of “good” or “bad.” If we can’t even humanize the one stranger we all know intimately, what does that say about our capacity to grow from our own mistakes? To help each other grow?

One of the core things that builds people’s movements is working toward shared goals even if you disagree on some things- I’d rather have Taylor Swift as the symbolic person of the year, speaking about getting in touch with her emotions and rising from trauma stronger than before, working hard for her goals, being proud of her accomplishments, and loudly celebrating women, than another war criminal politician 🤷🏼‍♀️. There’s so much juicy stuff to digest from her crowning as Person Of The Year (including critiques of capitalism and white feminism!) and it just sucks that people are stuck on “is she good or bad,”preventing them from actually engaging with the interview as an enormous pop culture moment. And during the biggest labor movement in history! She’s up there talking about a patriarchal industry exploiting her and other musicians! She’s talking about recovering from an eating disorder and loving her past selves! She’s talking about staying true to herself even when the entire world is watching her every move. It is important, regardless of if she meets everybody’s personal standards of “good” or “bad.” Nobody is required to like her! We can all have different boundaries for different relationships- I might not be friends with Taylor swift in real life, but I have no problem appreciating her art and listening to her unique perspective. The haters are missing the point- she symbolizes unity, joy, fun, love, healing, family, trying to be better, forgiveness and women’s empowerment. She also symbolizes nuance and disagreement. She symbolizes gossip and cyber bullying and cancel culture. She symbolizes coming of age in a traumatizing world. She symbolizes perseverance and the value of owning your own work. She means something different to everyone because she is a mirrorball. What does she symbolize to you?

#C #using Taylor to talk about politics again #Just have been sleeping in transformative justice and abolitionist activism recently and I feel so free talking about Taylor in real life #But then I come on here and everyone’s always arguing about if she’s a good person today or not #person of the year

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arisatominakos · 2 months

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tw death mention, tw suicide--

sorry i nEED TO RANT IM SO LIKE LMAO RN

i learned late last night that one of my siblings passed away but explain to me that today my step mother has the fucking audacity to call me up, not to be like sorry for ur loss or anything, but to just LIE that my dad didnt know how his daughter died( we had a whole hour convo earlier today and discussed it like he knows but like he learned his fucking kid died today u feel like hes processing n probs doesnt wanna talk about it ) and then demand to know how and when i fucking have to basically verbatim say ' ____ she killed herself. ' my stepmother literally just oh ' ok but how with pills or like ' bITCH MY FATHER IS IN THE ROOM COUGHING UNCOMFORTABLY I JUST LOST MY SIBLING TOO LIKE CAN I FUCKIN FOR REALS HELP U

i could fuckin never like i do not like this woman in any capacity but i could never do that if i found out she had a loss i would rush to give her only condolences, like ask her if she needs something like you know a decent person ??????????????????? i got none of that just demands about what happened as if like im not involved DIRECTLY ima delete this in a bit but christ almighty fuck

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miraculouscontent · 2 years

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A semi-random thought that occurred to me today and a good example of why I will never go out of my way/seek out the arguments of love square stans:

Let’s talk about That Scene in “Truth” real quick with the Adrien pictures, and I mean seriously talk about it from both a writing perspective and in-universe. The simplified version is simply that it has nothing to do with the actual break-up and actually damages the argument of love square stans rather than helps, but I’ll explain in more detail.

Firstly, it’s an actual, literal fact that Adrien himself has nothing to do with the break-up between Marinette and Luka. If you were able to magically edit out the Adrien pictures from Marinette’s wall and all scenes/lines that mention him, nothing would change: we’d be watching an episode where Marinette tries to date Luka, is cut off at every chance due to Ladybug duties (which stress her out so much to the point of being even more forgetful than usual), he gets akumatized, they break up because they’re unable to have the honest relationship that both Marinette and Luka want, and Marinette sobs to herself in her room because she can’t date due to being Ladybug.

Any mentions of Adrien do nothing for the actual story, which brings me to my next point:

Both in-universe and narratively speaking, the show already makes it obvious before The Call happens that this is not just a Marinette problem, but a universe problem. The girls, Ziggy, Luka, and the girls again drag in Adrien to be the topic of discussion at different points in the stories without Marinette’s direct input. At no point during the episode does Marinette herself bring up Adrien without him being the topic first.

This tells us two things:

1 - Marinette’s problem with Adrien extends to other people bringing him up to her unnecessarily. The argument can’t be made that Marinette and only Marinette brought it on herself, because the fact that it’s a problem at all should dictate that the others should stop enabling it by bringing Adrien up.

2 - Marinette can and does have the capacity to not make things about Adrien, but the mention of him makes her lose all sense of self.

If the intent of mentioning Adrien is to imply that Marinette is using Luka as a replacement for him, that disregards what actually happens in the episode. In “Truth,” Marinette is near Adrien on two separate occasions (with Luka directly nearby) and doesn’t have a reaction to him, choosing instead to favor Luka. This contradicts The Call, which suddenly looks more like a moment of panic of her magically-reappearing Adrien wall than Marinette viewing Luka as an Adrien substitute. Marinette also gives Luka a gift specific to him, meaning she thought very much of him and what he would want.

While stans would argue the point that Marinette forgot her date with Luka, she clearly didn’t forget The Gift despite showing in later episode that she forgets virtually everything. This is even disregarding the fact that Marinette essentially tells the audience directly that her memory is shot because of her responsibilities (and any arguing beyond that is gaslighting people with horrible memories into thinking they don’t care about people simply because they’ve forgotten something important about them; S T O P).

A properly-written story would show more evidence to its case, such as Marinette seeing Adrien in place of Luka when they hang out, Marinette whispering Adrien’s name just before she and Luka (try to) kiss, Marinette giving Luka a gift she’d once intended for Adrien (but failed to give him), and Marinette admitting to herself at the end that she was settling for Luka. Not only do none of these things happen, but the show tells its audience in “Gang of Secrets” that Marinette fell for Luka and that she didn’t break up with him due to not liking him. The show, naturally, tries to retcon that in “Crocoduel,” but the retcon proves that they saw the “issue” and didn’t know how to fix it.

Stans will of course continue to argue then about The Call and all the supposed “pro love square implications” it has without realizing the very hole they’re digging themselves into. I mean, this is even going beyond the fact that they will repeatedly bash Marinette for her behavior concerning Adrien whilst they still ship the love square we have in canon.

Basically, everything in “Truth” is explained with one simple sentence: Marinette is obsessed with Adrien, but in love with Luka, and everyone mistakes Marinette being obsessed with being “in true love.”

Obsession takes over Marinette’s mind, her life, everything, and I’ve done whole posts about how thoroughly Marinette’s Adrien crush has ruined her life rather than made it better. Case in point, Marinette wouldn’t even be guardian in the first place had it not been for the Adrien obsession, meaning the Season 4 finale wouldn’t have happened.

Using The Call to prove Love Square Supremacy isn’t furthering their point, but rather shining a spotlight on the exact issue with the love square and why it should never have been endgame in the first place.

#((I know I said ''thought'' and then spat out an entire essay))#((but that's just how I work okay?))#category: salt #salt: fandom #salt: love square #episode: Truth #((Anyway my point in this post is basically to say that--like--))#((arguments for the love square usually go bust pretty quickly))#((because the arguments themselves only prove how poisonous the love square is for Marinette))#((and even the writers do this in episodes like ''Desperada''))#((where the girls talk about how healthy Lukanette is for Marinette))#((and then in comes the ship that's SUPPOSED to be endgame))#((and here's me like ''*visible confusion*''))#((You don't spend 4 seasons keeping the love obsessive and then turn it into ''real'' love when it suits the plot.))#((That's literally not how anything works.))#((We've passed the halfway point meaning that over 50% of on-screen Adrienette was Marinette being slowly consumed by the celebrity crush))#((and I have yet to see a valid reason why I should favor the crush that's ruined Marinette's life))#((over the one that could only be broken up in canon by ''because Ladybug''))#((as the writers failed to come up with a reason why their personalities clashed in a way that would prevent them from being together.))

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