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kitkatt0430 · 3 years

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the flash and the problem of the pointless sacrifice

It starts at the end of season one. Eddie Thawne picks up his gun and shoots himself, dying to protect Iris, Barry, and the rest from his dangerous descendent Eobard Thawne.

Season two ends with its reversal, Barry creating the Flashpoint Timeline that, though its eventually set back to 'normal-ish', leaves a time remnant of Eobard Thawne alive and well (if running scared from the Black Flash/Hunter Zolomon as a speed zombie) to wreak havoc once more.

And I get it. The Reverse Flash is one of the Flash's most iconic villains - killing him off in season one couldn't be permanent. But apparently Eddie's suicide could be and the message that sends is... unfortunate.

Eddie is an extremely kindhearted person and we see that about him again and again throughout season one. He always has a smile for the people he cares about and he's an absolutely terrible liar. But we also know that he was bullied as a child/teen and since he never brings up the subject of his own family, it's likely he doesn't have a support structure outside of Central City. And the support structure he does gain in Central City was Barry's support structure first. There's not a single person we see Eddie spend time with in season one that didn't know Barry first.

And that's a big part of what wears him down over the course of the season. When both Barry and Eddie need support, Barry gets it first. Barry's secrets are treated as something Eddie has to prioritize over his relationship with Iris. Barry's loved Iris longer than Eddie's known her and while Iris loves Eddie, she also loves Barry and she's infatuated with the Flash - not realizing he's Barry's alter ego. Over the course of the season, Eddie constantly tries to connect with Barry and Barry constantly holds back. Their relationship is never equal. And that's what leaves Eddie open to Eobard's manipulations with the future news article.

And Eddie tries to make his own future with Iris anyway. But even with Iris accepting his proposal, Joe makes it clear he'll never truly accept their relationship and Eddie's sense of self worth is at an all time low. And that's the state of mind he's in during the fight in the pipeline. When Barry chooses not to let Eobard go after all, it puts them all in a position of potentially having to deal with this fight between the two speedsters just... never ending. It puts Iris in danger because Barry cares about her and because while Eddie is Eobard's ancestor... Iris isn't. From Eobard's point of view, Eddie's the only one who isn't expendable and from Eddie's point of view... he's the only one who is expendable.

His answer is suicide. And his death immediately erases Eobard from the timeline, but its also implied to have contributed to the re-emergence of the singularity. But at least Eobard was dead.

At least, until Barry created Flashpoint at the end of season 2. Presumably Eddie was alive in Flashpoint, but we never see him. Maybe he stays in Keystone instead of transferring to Central City. Never meets Iris. Never gets worn down to feel like he's not good enough. Never kills himself.

When Flashpoint is reset, Eddie's dead again but now his sacrifice has been rendered moot because Eobard's still alive as a time remnant.

It sets a rather nasty precedent for the show.

Season two also ends with a suicide. This time it's Barry's.

Much like Eddie the year before, Barry's been worn down. He had his place in his family's come into question, with Henry leaving at the start of the season and Wally's arrival midway through the season. His back is literally broken by the stress of fighting Zoom and despite everything he's suffered for the city, his honor is called into question the instant a different speedster takes to thievery. He has to give up his speed to protect Wally only for that to immediately put Caitlin in danger. His colleagues are brutally murdered by Zoom to teach him a lesson. His father finally comes back for good, only to be murdered in the same place as Barry's mother.

Honestly, there is no question (to my mind anyway) that Barry's suicidal at the end of the season. And because Barry his time remnants are fundamentally the same person at the moment of their split, the time remnant Barry creates is suicidal as well.

That time remnant tears himself apart to stop Zoom's plan to destroy the multi-verse. His very existence also lures in the Time Wraiths that take Zoom away, transforming him into the mindless Black Flash. All at the cost of a version of Barry killing himself, going unlamented and forgotten. But at least the multi-verse was safe.

Until the Red Skies Crisis when the multi-verse is actually destroyed and rebooted.

Another sacrifice rendered pointless.

HR does not kill himself in season three. But he deliberately places himself in a position to be killed in Iris' place. He arrives on the heels of a scandal on his Earth where he's been revealed to have been taking credit for someone else's work - with that person's blessing, but its still ruined his reputation. He comes wanting to reinvent himself, but from the start he's not the person the team really wants. They want Harry. Cisco wants Harry. He gets it hammered in that his strengths aren't appreciated by the team because he's not a scientist. His efforts to help STAR Labs are dismissed entirely. The only reason any attempts to help his museum venture succeed are because changing the future might save Iris.

It's not that HR is disliked, but he's left acutely aware that he's considered 'a bit much' and that he's always going to come second to the people he puts first. In fact, Tracy's probably the only one who truly and completely appreciates HR as he is.

So HR swaps places with Iris, knowing that he's going to die when he does. And while HR doesn't kill himself, there's an argument to be made that what he did was still suicide by proxy.

And this is a sacrifice that sticks, because Iris West is the love interest. She's never going to be killed off for real.

Three seasons ending with a suicidal sacrifice. And only one of them doesn't have that sacrifice reversed or nullified. Unfortunately, that's not the end of it either.

Harry leaves his Earth at the start of season four. His relationship with his daughter, which was shown to still be strong in season three, has somehow deteriorated to the point where she's thrown him off her support team and he comes to Earth-1 to reconnect with the found family he forged during season two. He's in the midst of a crisis and his understanding of himself as a parent is unraveling. And then DeVoe calls the other pillar of Harry's self identity into question, because Harry's genius isn't enough on its own anymore. He's not smart enough to out think DeVoe and his Earth-1 family is suffering. So Harry creates his own downfall, burns out his own brain trying to be the smartest. And he sacrifices his last moments of lucidity to find the answer to stopping DeVoe. In doing so, Harry puts Barry in the position to save Ralph's life.

But DeVoe still gets the last laugh when he causes the STAR Labs satellite to come falling down, nearly destroying the city and creating Cicada in the process.

But unlike previous seasons, Harry doesn't die. He gets some of his intelligence back and immediately gets exiled by the writers back to Earth-2 due to the massive problems with ableism this show has. But that's a different conversation.

Season five is probably the only season not to include a suicidal character who's kills themselves. Nora dies when she erases herself from the timeline by accident, but we know now she'll be back in the back half of season seven, along with her new brother. But one out five seasons not taking a suicide (or similar action in Harry's case) and painting it as a noble - but ultimately useless - gesture is rather... bad as far as track records go.

Season six has the alternate Barry Allen - implied to be the Barry from the 90s show - who dies in place of this show's Barry. To save the multi-verse and let this other Barry go home to his wife, something he'll never have with Tina again. And the multi-verse is destroyed anyway.

Season seven opened with Nash Wells, whose usual method of investigating mysteries and hoaxes led to the Anti Monitor's freedom and the multi-verse's destruction. His home Earth destroyed so he can never go home. He's confronted with an alternate version of his dead daughter, who can barely stand his presence. He begins to hallucinate alternate versions of himself and is possessed by the Reverse Flash and all his research on how to create a new Speed Force - to try to make up for some of the damage he's caused - points to a single conclusion. The only way to make things better is for him to die.

Instead, Nash's death immediately makes things worse. The artificial speed force is flawed and Barry destroys it in the very next episode. And while one could argue that Nash's death allowed Barry to save Iris and ultimately restored the original Speed Force, it doesn't negate the fact that Nash's suicidal state of mind wasn't addressed by the people who called him friend. And his legacy was immediately deemed a failure and destroyed.

While I wouldn't say the show is glorifying suicide, there's a subtle and incredibly troubling repetition in the story telling on the show that frames suicide as the right decision in certain circumstances. Even though what's being sacrificed for often comes to naught. And it's incredibly uncomfortable, seeing it all laid out like this.

I'm still really not sure what to make of it all, but I've got no doubt it ties into the show's ableism with regards to mental health issues. Because every time its someone whose mental health has been brought down to a low point who commits these acts of 'sacrifice' and while the team grieves these losses... they don't seem to learn from them either. Because it just keeps happening.

(Think I missed something? Please, by all means, add on.)

#the flash #the flash meta #tw suicude #some of the story telling trends on this show can be a little disturbing when you take a closer look at them #discussing several characters on the Flash who commit suicide (or make self-destructive decisions) across the seven seasons #ableism on the Flash

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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I'm sure others will ask this but what are you thoughts on the episode of SCK?? I love your in-depth analysis lol. I personally loved it!!! Also can I just say that the edser/hanker chemistry is off the charts lol. If this was the first episode I watched ever, without subtitles, their scenes would be a giant neon sign that says "THESE CHARACTERS ARE MADLY IN LOVE!!!". Eda was beyond cute/in love/adorable in this episode with serkan, girl has got it bad and I wish she didn't have her stupid grandmother and these insecurities in the way ahhh. I really love the Ayfer/Aydan duo, they're fun when they're together and Ayfer wasn't annoying like the last few EPs. Also, Balca can go choke lol, I'm so glad Serkan didn't fall for her trap for him to stay over!! He was like nah come to the party (my girl is waiting!!!). Was serkan about to tell Eda that he had to stop by her house? He seemed really nervous. ANYWAYS, I love EdSer and am going to go watch their scenes 1000x before next week 😭🥰

Thank you! I love Edser too!!!! Like you, I enjoyed this episode, though it was despite some of the narrative issues (that I posted about here.) There were good, meaty Edser scenes, which is why I watch this show. Once again I'll start with the non-Eda/Serkan thoughts and then get to the feelsy stuff at the end.

Babaanne's introduction did not disappoint. The actress has the right energy for the role. I guess we now know why Eda has been adamant about cutting her out of her life, Babaanne is next level controlling and vindictive. We'll have to see how she develops and what her endgame motives are. Does she want her revenge more than she wants her granddaughter and daughter in her life? Or does she think if she wins and arranges everything including an advantageous marriage for Eda, Eda will eventually go along and decide it's awesome and reconciliation will come about that way? *evil laugh* She doesn’t know her granddaughter at all if she thinks that’s a possibility.

(more under the cut)

I enjoyed her non-Balca scenes, especially when she was going toe-to-toe with Eda. That scene in Serkan's old upstairs office was intense, both actresses really brought it and kudos to Eda staying true to her defiant character. No one pushes her around. Prepare yourselves to see her waver a bit, I'm sure it's quite jarring to see your loved one in jail and know that he's there because of you, but she'll get to the point of fighting beside him. I have no doubt.

It was nice to see Ayfer protecting Aydan and Seyfi, it made for some great comedy and it was a good change after all of Ayfer's annoying, unrelenting negativity in general and about the Bolats. We'll see what happens between the two now that they appear to be vying for Chef Alexander's attention. Nesilhan just cracks me up when she's portraying Aydan play acting, the stilted voice she takes on is always hilarious to me, like when Ayfer was introducing "Aisun" to Serkan. As we move forward, though, I want to see some badass Aydan. She was introduced to us as a force of nature, so I hope we see that woman, a woman who will go to the mat for her son and Eda, emerge at some point. No hiding from Babaanne long term. Everyone needs to gear up to fight!

Peril and Engin got married! Their scene at home was really well done and gave me a bit better insight into them and why they might work. The only thing I was disappointed about here was that Serkan was not their witness. He counts them as some of his only friends and they didn't call him? Come on, show! They could have easily structured the ep to have him get the call while there was chaos at his loft that morning and it would have been the perfect excuse for him to grab Eda and head to the wedding leaving the moms and Babaane to Chef Alexander. It wouldn't have changed anything about the episode because Eda still could have gone to do her thing after the wedding and everything else would have been the same, except it all would have had a bit more heart. Missed opportunity there.

I've decided that Ferit is a catch. At the beginning of the show he was just so naïve, that he seemed foolish, but he's really turned into a sweet, upstanding man. You hold on to him, Ceren. The irony in his relationship with Serkan is just outstanding to me, because ALL of this started because Serkan was willing to upend his own life (and Selin, Ferit and Eda's) will the sole goal of keeping Ferit out of his business, and now here we are 24 episodes later, Selin is long gone, Eda is the love of his life, and Ferit has turned into a solid, trust-worthy business partner and friend who is putting Babaanne in her place on the first day. Love to see it.

Balca, that snake just gets more unhinged as we go along. Good GAWD. WTF is wrong with her? Her eventual comeuppance better be big. I'm really to the point that I can't enjoy any scene that she's in, it's just too maddening, because neither Serkan nor Eda are taking her seriously enough. Which I realize they don't know what we know, but dang I hope Serkan is finally connecting the dots because her behavior is not normal. As Eda says, who gives a gift like that to their boss? Who calls their new boss instead of the police when there's an intruder in the house? By now he should be able to figure out she's manipulating him.

Also how was she not daunted when she called and Eda was there? What did she think would happen when he came to get the gift when he had Eda to get home to? On top of everything else she's shameless and delusional. As for the gift, that was creepy AF. Did she seriously think that her boss, who she's known a week, would be romanced by that? Or any man for that matter? Did Selin give her the impression he was so arrogant that this would be the perfect thing for him? As much as I want less of her on screen, I would like to know the thought process behind that embarrassing monstrosity. Because it was not a savvy move. But the good news is that no one was more creeped out by it than Serkan Bolat. It seemed to really unsettle him, which it should. It was nice to see Eda getting over her jealousy, perhaps that came with her decision to try and move forward. Before she was in this state of flux, deep-down wanting Serkan to be hers, but not being able to admit that and feeling an outside threat during that confusion.

I saw some criticism of Eda because she was openly mocking and dismissive of Balca. However, while I agree her behavior was a tad immature at times... Balca was totally asking for it. She's been at the company for mere days and her weird, manipulative, obsessive behavior is totally inappropriate. Also if she didn't take a hint from Eda opening mocking her, Eda picking out her gift from Serkan, Serkan deferring queries about his NYE plans to Eda, Eda being at his house when Balca called, I think we can safely say that Balca in unaffected by any of Eda's behavior, thus Eda isn't hurting anyone. While Balca is over here, claws out, trying to start a war. Balca is the villain here, not Eda for recognizing and making fun of it.

Despite the emotional inconsistencies between Eda and Serkan in this episode, during one scene they were hot, the next, one or the other was cold without rhyme or reason, there were many great conversations. I really enjoyed their conference room scenes in particular. Serkan confident and calming her down, Eda being enraged by Babaanne, but listening to him and letting him calm her down.

His little Eda Bolat coffee cup gag was priceless, he did succeed in both diverting her and flirting with her in one suave move. Also a nice bit of foreshadowing there, which there was a lot of this episode. Not just this and the bouquet catch, but also every single one of their domestic scenes.

As I said in this post, the rewrite, or whatever happened this episode, did cause some pretty big emotional inconsistencies from scene to scene. I know most people loved the scenes when Eda went to find Serkan, but it was a little whiplashy for me. We go from Serkan being calm and collected and happily flirting with her about being Eda Bolat at the office, to a short time later him being moody and standoffish with her at his house? It's understandable that he would be upset at her suggestion that she leave the company, but I would think the man that broke her heart for her own good, would understand why she might think of leaving in order to get rid of someone who is threatening him!

It just felt like a weird time for him to hit his threshold with her, especially since this was when they were supposed to be heading to Paris (huge writing fail that there was no "Oh I guess we have to postpone Paris" throwaway line). However, perhaps that was accelerated for him in the face of a real threat? Like if it was just another day he's fine with her waffling and their little contract game, but he feels in his bones that this is go time and he needs to find out if she's ready for what's coming? (Look at me finding reasons for the inconsistencies as I answer this ask, lmao).

Then the shaving scene was interesting. She starts by saying "Leaving was a dumb idea, I'm still here, I'll be by your side," which YAY and seems to me to be a huge step forward for her.... but then he doesn't feel it. Why exactly, didn't he feel it? So then she transitions to the biggest head scratcher of the episode for me, and I really hope it's a translation fail. She basically references the movie they saw and says, "If I could erase all memories of you, I would." Um... what? Is she really saying to him she wishes they never met? I sure hope there was some modifier in there, like "bad" memories only or something. It seemed way harsh and inconsistent with their feelings for one another. However, once he starts talking about being a machine before meeting her and his heart being too heavy without her, the dialogue is pretty great. He really bares his soul and she reciprocates with intimacy. The second half of this scene is absolutely lovely.

The visit to Aydan's house was interesting. At some point I'm gonna need Aydan and especially Ayfer to step up when it comes to Babaanne. Ayfer ran scared the whole episode and it's just not fair of her to leave the burden on Eda. Hopefully, she'll get there. There was a reason Babaanne told Eda not to tell Ayfer about the threats, and threatened harm to Serkan and family if she did so. I'm guessing Ayfer may be better equipped to deal with her mother than was suggested in this episode. The conversation about Eda running from her grandmother as a child and losing the bracelet was very affecting and well done, and thankfully Serkan was out of his sulky mood and in full-on supportive boyfriend mode. Phew, good to have you back, Serkan.

That throne Babaanne brought in was something else. Worth a good laugh. However, I feel like it highlights a few cracks we've already started to see in Babaanne's scary façade. First, there's the one I just talked about, with Babaanne not wanting Ayfer to know what she's up to, so we now know who might be successful in opposing her or might know things that could shut her down.. her daughter. Then this ridiculous throne move had to be her way of unsettling everyone, but as we see that fails with Serkan. He's pretty unflappable when it comes to her nonsense antics.

Then Babaanne singles out Balca as her ally, which on one hand, it was astute of her to figure out who was the outsider, ripe for the picking, but she straight up choose the wack job, who let's face it, is not going to be all that competent of a foot soldier for her, because she has no allies and she's not in anyone's confidence. Plus she made that critical error with the present being so off-putting to Serkan. Balca might be able to cause problems, but she can’t get Serkan to transfer his affection for Eda onto her, so her usefulness here is limited. Babanne needed to try and fool someone like Melo, Ferit or Leyla. Prey on the nice ones who might try to be accommodating just so everyone gets along.

Anyway, I loved the Edser scenes in the office, he brought her lemon water! My heart. And I loved the meeting with the inner circle. Serkan has a plan! Of course our boy does, he wouldn't be Serkan Bolat if he didn't. It's always fun to see how much they all trust him to lead them through these tough times. He will once again emerge victorious. It just may take some time on this one

Note Blaca wasn't invited to that meeting, someone already can sense she can't be trusted. In the meeting later with Babaanne, I loved how Eda was sitting next to Serkan at the head of the table, totally squared off against her grandmother. That blocking was not by accident. It showed them facing her. On the same side. Together. United. That's what we call foreshadowing and that's how they're ultimately going to defeat her. Together.

It's interesting to me that earlier in the day when Eda tells him maybe she should leave the company he gets upset, but when she shows up at his house and straight up says they can't be together, he's completely calm and is his normal confident self, talking her into staying the night with his usual ease. I'm thinking her manic rambling about him getting tired of her and her grandmother separating them was just too obvious of an emotional spiral after an exhausting day (that lasted 47 years and multiple wardrobe changes) so he didn't take any of it to heart.

As for the reason she needed a place to stay, WTF is Ayfer doing letting Babaanne stay in their home?? Kick her out for the love of God. I don't mind, since it gave us this fabulous sleepover, but come on woman, at one time you were strong enough to remove your niece from her which could not have been easy, where is your backbone now? Find it. Fast.

LOVED LOVED LOVED every second of domestic Edser. How cute are they? Serkan wheeling her dinosaur suitcase was so adorable. And how cute is it that he bought hot chocolate for her? And THEN, THEN when they went to look at the stars? My heart melted clean out of my chest when he said, "I'm already looking at the most beautiful star." Remember in 13 when he asked her, "How are you real?" and she basically told him to be careful or she'd get spoiled and expect that kind of romance all the time? Well apparently the romantic robot has an endless capacity to generate heart-stopping one-liners so she really needn't have worried.

Eda's phone call with the girls was another whiplash moment for me. So wait... all episode her trepidation has been around her grandmother interfering or Serkan getting tired of her, but now she's back to wondering if he can change? Ne? And she isn't articulating what she wants him to change, or talking to him about change at all, only asking her friends if they think it's possible?? The change thing made perfect sense to me in eps 20-22, because she was coming off of his lie that broke her heart, but now I can't figure out what she wants from him. I think this is another casualty of whatever writing changes happened in this episode. I really hope the writers pull it together and figure out what the character's headspace is and stick with it. It's one thing to yo-yo from episode to episode, but to yo-yo scene to scene is too much.

I know that they're trying to create suspense for whether she would meet him to ring in the New Year, and start fresh, but there are much more elegant ways to do this than constant retread conversations that don't make sense in context with the scenes that came before. Honestly, this episode had a LOT of wonderful scenes and humor and heartfelt moments, but it also felt like a franken-episode, like if different writers were assigned different scenes and then they assembled the episode without going back to smooth out the tone and emotions.

That leads us to Serkan discovering Eda in the bath. What do we think was going through his mind there? lmao. He looked exceptionally pleased and he did the jokey flirty thing, taking a mental picture, but then when she comes downstairs in her jammies, he has gone into stone-cold work robot mode. I suppose the best I can guess is that he knew she was confused, he knew he had convinced her to stay under the guise it would be platonic and the "last time."

He's always been a gentleman with her. So perhaps he felt compelled, for her sake, to keep it in that place, but seeing her in the bath send him into overdrive and the only thing he could do is throw himself into work to make sure the situation didn't go any further before she was fully ready? That's my best attempt at explaining it. Still she was flirting hardcore with him when she came downstairs, it feels like that was the moment he's been waiting for since episode 19, and he let it sail by. Ah well, at some point soon both their engines will be revving at the same time and we’ll finally get to the sexy times.

The next morning was 100% adorable. Serkan Bolat serving breakfast in bed. I swoon! What a sweetheart, because I'm pretty certain that Serkan does NOT like crumbs in his bed so this was a big gesture. And you could see how much she appreciated it, despite teasing him about the portion size. Eda, that breakfast would have been just fine by me, but if the girl has a big appetite, so be it.

Also, Edacim, it would be a lot easier to buy your "confusion" if you hadn't brought him a heartfelt gift that would have taken a good while, like weeks, to procure and then sketched in it for him!!!! She had to have been planning that for some time. Anyway, a very sweet gift and one of those moments where actions speak louder than words. We all want to hear Eda say the words "I Love You," but she just said it very loudly here in the form of this gift. Even if she wasn't fully aware she was saying it. It's obvious where her heart is, she just has to give herself permission to follow it.

This ep also brought the funny when half the cast of characters barged in on Edser’s little love nest. Good for both Eda and Serkan for refusing to be a part of the subterfuge for Babaanne. I'm hopeful we're going into a secret relationship/engagement storyline, but at this point I like that neither were cowing to her. Eda is an adult and it's nobody's business but her own where she stays the night!

It cracks me up that Eda and Serkan were discombobulated by the intrusion, had the silent #married conversation, and headed upstairs together. Mostly because they are the two in the dark, what are they going to figure out by going upstairs alone? What they really needed was to talk to any of the other people to find out what in the hell was happening. Not that I blame them for wanting to escape that scene together. However, what was beautiful was their connection in these scenes. They were functioning as partners, as each other's person, as the one each turns to when they need support (or escape). And that's really saying something since they were in a room full of the people they're both closest too.

Finally, I'm glad they spoiled the final scene in the fragman, because I would have been too stressed watching Balca's psychotic efforts in keeping Serkan away from the party, and Eda, if I hadn't known he would make it. As it was, it was too much to watch. They've done absolutely nothing to make her even a little sympathetic. I feel zero empathy for her, I don't understand why she's willing to take these risks. No man is worth it, girl! Especially not a man you just decided you wanted because of his initials! The character needs to serve her purpose and go. Soon.

As for Serkan making it in time, THANK GOODNESS. I don't think Eda could have handled being stood up again. Even taking her call was a mistake. That's why we have voicemail, Serkan. And clearly he should have called the police on his way. I sincerely hope that he finds out the break-in was a fake and that's what makes him realize what level of crazy he's dealing with. I assume, because he didn't know what else to do, he left Balca in his home and that's what he wanted to tell Eda right before the police arrived. I shudder to think what damage she might do there alone. Installing a hidden mic or camera for Babaanne? Going through his things? Planting more items. Ew. If that spec is right the place will need to be fumigated.

Serkan's gift was, of course, perfection. Talk about love in gift form, and did you notice that one of the charms was an "E" and one was an "S"? A sweet, heart-felt detail and a nice little nod to which initials really matter on this show. Interestingly, after a full episode of inner turmoil, once Serkan arrived, Eda seemed to be all-in. She was bubbly and happy to see him and definitely acting like he was her date. And then the hug! Finally! They've obviously been physically close in recent post-break up episodes, for example elevator, pottery, dancing, skating, but what a relief to finally have this pure, intentional display of affection from her to him. Also a cheek kiss! This show, I swear it makes me grateful for the most chaste of moments.

As I said in another ask, I think the, "Will you be my girlfriend?" was in Serkan's head. We didn't see him say it, she didn't respond and the audio was hollow like it was a thought or memory or dream. However, what I can't answer is why we heard that. Why put it in there? We know he wants them to get back together, so that line doesn't inform the audience of anything they don't already know. So maybe proposal foreshadowing? On the other hand, there is the line earlier in the episode that was voice over added after the fact (when Edser are in the small conf room and Serkan says he’s going home) so maybe they added the audio after the scene for some reason? I don’t know with this episode anything is possible.

Then, of course, Babaanne ruins their moment with her evil plan. Next episode will she be sitting on her throne stroking a hairless cat Because it feel like Babaanne may like a bit of evil aura to surround her. Anyway, next stop... jail! I'm honestly excited to see how the next ep plays out. We're going to go through some things, so prepare your soul, but I honestly think we may end the ep in a better place. (new cliffhanger notwithstanding) We shall see.

#Edser #sen cal kapimi #Sen Çal Kapımı #sckask #sck 1x24 #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #Anonymous

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cxmetery-gates · 3 years

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OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS - DARK!TOM HIDDLESTON

CHAPTER FIVE: COFFEE AND TINDER

SUMMARY: Lynn and Gabriel have a heart-to-heart talk about her last lover, with Gabe offering barely-legal suggestions. WORD COUNT: 2.45k NOTES: Gabe is probably my favorite character WARNINGS: dark!tom hiddleston, teacher!tom hiddleston, mentions of past relationships, break-up talk, h*tler reference?? never thought i’d write that

OBSESSIVE TEACHINGS MASTERLIST

THE SOUND OF A BELL alerts the classroom that the period is over. Everyone had been already packed and ready to go minutes before Mr. Hiddleston even began wrapping up his lesson. Even when I suffered through chemistry or dragged my deflated soul through finance, I never thought of putting my notes and pens away so soon. I know more than one student saw the icy glare I sent across the room but, most importantly and unfortunately, I also know nearly all of them didn't catch the slight disappointment in Mr. Hiddleston's tone.

I truly despise most people.

From the moment class started, it's been so unmistakably clear how much he loves what he teaches, that he enjoys what he spent thousands of dollars on just to show people how great literature is. I understand that all too well— save the going into debt part. Teachers are often times so mundane with their knowledge, not realizing how the way they present the information affects our understanding and interest in such. This is why high school teachers are stereotyped as people who just want a paid summer vacation. However, Mr. Hiddleston really put effort into his theatrics, like his lecture was a play. People with a teaching degree should teach in this way— why else go penniless willingly? The overall excitement was entertaining. And for that, I have to give the man some credit.

"Alright, guys. We'll be diving into the second part of this lecture tomorrow. Have a good one, you are dismissed." I don't think Mr. Hiddleston needed to announce the last blip of his closing statement. As I said, people are so rude.

Ellie begins to shove her notepad and other items into her bag after our teacher finishes speaking, reminding me of my kind company. I, on the other hand, am scrambling to take the last bit of notes, trying to relay any possible concepts mentioned on to paper. While there might not have been much depth in today's class, jotting down every last tidbit of information could be life or death. Or perhaps I'm just anal-retentive when it comes to note-taking. By the time I finish the note, Ellie is already standing.

"Girl, hurry up. We gotta go!" She drags out the last vowel of the last word humorously.

I wave my hand at her, flipping pages and dodging paper cuts. "Go on without me. I'll be fine," I say, remembering that Ellie's homeroom is on the first floor and the farthest down the hall.

Rolling her big brown eyes, she sighs, walking backward. "I'll miss you poppet. I love you." Her fake British accent is terrible, but I don't bother enlightening her. Perhaps the slight discoloration in her cheeks and how fast she dashed out of the room was due to finding Mr. Hiddleston in ear-shot of her terrible accent. I bite my lip, forcing myself to look away out of sheer second-hand embarrassment.

Once all my belongings are together, I turn to leave.

"That truly was an awful mockery," Mr. Hiddleston says in my direction from the whiteboard. His long toned arms wipe the marker away as I begin to walk past him.

I chuckle. "I'll let her know you said that."

Mr. Hiddleston fakes a groan, placing the eraser on the marker tray then turning to face me with those oh-so-charming eyes. There's no other way to describe them other than mesmerizing. "Oh, don't tell her I said it. I like being liked."

"Being 'liked' is the least of your worries with these girls," I mumble, mostly to humor myself. However, I must have been louder than anticipated. The innuendo is heard and doesn't fly over his head.

A titter of a laugh is heard from the man, and I now regret the words I mumbled. "So I have been told," he replies, making a slightly uncomfortable face. I can't blame him; anyone would feel incredibly awkward if teaching a class full of people who would sell both kidneys just to see them without a shirt.

Not in my dreams would I have imagined having a conversation with Mr. Hiddleston about how everyone wants to nail him. While such a phrase hasn't been explicitly noted, I have a feeling both our minds are in the same gutter. And with that recognition, an awkward heat embraces me. I press my lips together tightly and offer a shrug. "I think the proper thing for me to say is good luck."

Seeming to take my word, Mr. Hiddleston passes me a smile. I can't read what the meaning is, but I'll take it nonetheless with a cough to clear my throat. "Ah, well, as much as I love juicy gossip and scandals, I've got a stuck up prune for homeroom, so I definitely need to get going." I send him a wave, making my exit as awkward as possible.

"Warntz?" He asks.

My nose wrinkles at the name. It eve sounds terrible, almost as terrifying as Trunchbull or Umbridge. "You betcha."

"Good luck, Lynn. You've got two minutes."

I want to give another sassy remark, but the teasing look I find when I look over my shoulder sends my body into another blush. Muttering something close to 'whatever,' I decide that leaving is for the best, even if that means awaiting an angry, shriveled up raisin.

══════════════════

Exiting the high school front doors a few hours before the final bell is like the biggest sigh of relief and 'sucks to be you' to everyone else. An arm wraps around my shoulder, one I embrace kindly.

"So, we've got an hour on our hands," Gabriel reminds me, hinting we'll have to come back to grab Ellie and River. As he speaks, I toss my head back on his toned bicep. I swear he works out too much for an unpopular loser. "What would you like to do?"

I groan, dragging my chin down to my chest. "Why do I have to decide? You know I hate making decisions."

"We're taking second lunch here, Lynn. It isn't life or death, you weirdo," Gabe chortles.

"Can we just go get a coffee? I feel like I'm about to pass out." For effect, I pretend to faint, nearly going complete limp before his arms can hoist me back up.

Rolling his dark eyes, my partner in crime pulls a set of keys from his pocket, swinging the lanyard around his fingers while we head towards a tattered white truck being held together by zip ties, duct tape, and love. "You and Elle with your coffee addiction."

"Could be meth," I retort.

Snorting, Gabe slips a key into the slit on the driver's side. I stand on the opposite, sending a humored smile. "Yeah, as if that's any worse."

We make it to the local coffee shop in no time. Luckily for us, the lunch rush hour in this town ends just as we hit the road if we avoid the main highways that is. Gabe's truck and the coffee shop have a similar aesthetic: crowded, old, falling apart with an overwhelming sense of home and personality. I can't count how many times I've broken down and received well off advice from him in both locations. It feels safe here and being around him. Gabe's like the much older brother (by a month) that I never had. We're both complete, utter assholes to each other about 60% of the time, enforcing the sibling-like bond we have.

"Thank you," I say sweetly to the barista as he places my cold brew in front of me and Gabe's hot chocolate in front of him. Mimicking my gratitude, Gabe gives his thanks as the employee shuffled away, awkwardly patting at his frizzy hair.

We both take a sip and visibly relax. "So, the first day of our last year of high school." Gabe is also the mom friend. "Tell me, dear, how were all your classes?"

"Oh, dearest mother, I feel so content with my choices," I reply with a vintage accent, acting as though my voiced popped in from the 1920s. "How ever will I pick a favorite?"

Wiggling his brows, Gabe replies, "I hear someone landed themselves in the hottest teacher's class."

Prompting to return to my normal voice, I roll my eyes, a huff expelling from my diaphragm. "He's definitely a piece of eye candy, I'll tell you that."

"Took four years to figure that one out? I didn't realize unobservant you are." Taking a pause, Gabe brings to smirk widely. "Maybe that's why you haven't asked River out yet."

My eyes grow wide, my skin goes red. Looking at anywhere other than Gabe's eyes and smirking lips is a must. "I don't know—"

"Lynn, everyone knows."

"Sure, but he doesn't." I pause. "Wait, does he?"

"Dude, no, of course, he doesn't. He still thinks you're heartbroken over Trinity."

Ah, yes, Trinity. Who knew a happy year and two months could be wholly demolished beyond reconciliation in a single weekend? Certain not I, as I have spent the past three months moving on and over the ordeal. An annoyed grunt leads my cheek to rest in my fist. "He thinks I'm not over it?"

Gabe leans forwards. "None of us do, Lynn."

I stay silent.

"What happened... you didn't deserve that. Hell, Hitler wouldn't have deserved that. Probably."

"Weeeeell—"

"Point is, I know you're still trying to find a way to heal. You've done a damn good job, duh. But River thinks you're still in love with her."

"Ugh. I'd rather eat hairy horse shit than see her ever again."

Gabriel nods, "I was hoping that would be the case."

Knocking my knuckles on the wooden table, I let out an exaggerated sigh. "Man, I'm tired."

"You know we're all here for you, right?" Gabe asks, leaning in just a few inches. I want to roll my eyes, tell him that he worries too much, but I can't. I can't tell him, not because I want him to shut up or to change the topic, but because he knows me. To Gabe, I'm an open book.

I run out of words to say relating to the topic. The breakup is old news, everything following the incident becoming irrelevant memories and irreplaceable time. I'm kidding myself when I say I've moved on entirely because Gabriel is right: I haven't. Sometimes my thoughts get stuck on what I could have done better or what I should have done to convince her to stay. Despite these annoying blips, I know deep down that it was inevitable, that her consistent cheating and the emotional manipulation would only surface for everyone to see in due time. If they hadn't— which I tried to keep from happening— I have a gut-wrenching feeling I'd still be in the situation. I had a feeling Trinity and me wouldn't last, but it wasn't until after things ended did I realize how well she had me wrapped around her finger. It's taken months to find my way out of her web, but I now face the scary journey of recovery. Thankfully, the process has not been as hard as I anticipated. After all, living two cities away certainly helps.

"Yeah, I know. I'm still going through the motions. I just want it to speed up, you know?"

Smirking and pulling his hand back, Gabriel replies, "Maybe a Tinder will help?"

My nose wrinkles at the mere consideration. Hooking up, dating apps, meeting strangers behind a phone— not really my thing. "Nah, I'll pass on that offer, thanks."

"Suit yourself."

"Hmm, maybe I'll look into a sugar daddy site. Money from older men might make me feel a bit better."

Gabriel takes a sip of his hot chocolate, grinning. "Well, you have an interesting way with teachers. If you're struggling in a particular class, maybe that little fantasy of yours will come true."

"Oh yes, I can't wait to hop on Mr. Riley's seventy-year-old dick."

"Mhmm, yummy."

At this, I bark into a laughing-while-painfully-cringing fit. Never being a fan of the phrase "yummy" and having it tied to a man that's so old he's basically decaying, I find every part of this new conversation revoltingly hilarious. I guess my sudden outburst of laughter caught Gabe off guard, staring at me with a shocked grin and fixing the infamous beanie he wears. I couldn't count how many times I've seen him without; you can't count to zero.

"It really wasn't that funny," he says with a small hiccup of laughter in his voice.

I settle myself now that I feel the eyes of everyone in the coffee shop staring. "You're right, but something about it made me crack." I flip my phone over to check the time. "Should we be getting back? They've got twenty minutes left."

Gabe nods and lets out a content sigh. "Yeah, I guess so."

We decide to chug the rest of our beverages quickly— now room temperature and not as satisfying— before heading back out into the world. Away in the parking lot, the truck seems to beckon us to its forty-year-old, duct-tape-bound seats. As Gabe unlocks the truck doors, I let out a content sign and stare up at the sky. Above, the sun beams down on us and, like an idiot, I managed to look directly into it. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust but by that point, a dark cloud rolled over the blinding, distant star.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

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#obsessive teachings #dark!tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x ofc #tom hiddleston fanfiction #teacher!tom hiddleston #loki #high school #stalking #obsessed love #obsessive #dark!fic

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blaster-aichi · 4 years

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Cardfight!! Vanguard Extra Story IF 20 things

changing up the formula for the week

12 seconds in and we’re threatening murder, a new record.

What did we do to deserve Miwa and what did he do to deserve the treatment he gets from the writers?

When there are only bits and pieces of his original memories coming through, having the most nightmarish moment be one of them, one could only imagine how unsettling it is for one poor ultra-soft boy. And if it might cause him to sympathize with Aichi’s belief in brief moments, from undeniable proof that engaging in Vanguard has hurt a number of people around them.

Weekly yearning for the relationship between Outside World and IF World to get an explanation rises.

IF continuing with the softest Kai-kun faces, cause of death determined. That is all.

The fact that Morikawa’s dismissal serves towards the plot is startling, but at the same time, in-universe, it’s still baffling why he was chosen as opposed to anyone else. Perhaps because of his role in Aichi’s actively playing the game? But otherwise, drawing a blank.

There is a lot to say about the Kourin/Miwa scene, see below.

Semi-sortof-half-right about the Miwa/Takuto collusion but also see below.

Weekly yearning for the relationship between Outside World and IF World to get an explanation intensifies.

The Dinner Table Scene. Rena.exe has stopped working. See below, I flip the table.

This is the most adorable thing ever and boys, PLEASE.

Miwa picks up the mantle of roasting characters, the KaiMiwa is strong.

Pot. Kettle. Mirror. Bitch?

The choice to have Dragonic Overlord’s Deletion visually mirror its occurrence during the cardfight-based season is a strong choice; due to its haunting Kai-kun since it penetrated the IF illusion, and his facing Ibuki without letting any distress showing, in spit of what he’s seen, it demonstrates just the strength of his character and builds on his being able to take the punches and roll with them thus far.

Everyday, I relate to Kai Toshiki even more.

Very much appreciate Emi chiming in where Ibuki is concerned because though the emphasis is on his relationships with Kai-kun, Miwa and Suiko, their time understanding one another in episode 7 remains a personal favourite thing from the season.

Suiko’s intervention to protect Emi and Shuka; yes, yes, yes! Best big sister doing her thing.

Along the same line of thought; Miwa taking the bullet to save Kai-kun feels a natural conclusion to his role within IF, but also playing upon how he stressed Kai-kun’s happiness was his priority in his cardfight with Neve. His strongest trait through the franchise has been his dedication to his best friend, no matter the cost to himself, and seeing that occur in the literal sense feels as though it was always a case of when, not if. Although with the likely remaining time left in the season and its focus, there won’t be a spotlight shone on it again or for Kai-kun to really convey his feelings about it, it was nice to see and think about through the day after.

Episode 102: the KaiMiwa edition.

All Hail the Overlords and their Realizing.

Kai-kun takes back his other part-time job of literally roasting people with Miwa gone.

Though it’s likely down to how he was recruited into the Sanctuary Knights (and his past being repaired erasing the entire ordeal from his perspective), Ibuki’s lost memories of joining them begs the question of the fate of everyone’s memories once the timeline is fully restored, given it hasn’t been made clear if there are two different versions of characters that exist or their Outside World selves pulled inside and overwritten to fit IF’s continuity. Cases such as Emi, Aichi and Kourin in particular, seeing as Naoki, Shingo and Miwa have thus far retained their memories of IF despite returning Outside.

Not entirely sure why Kourin is so aggravated by the Sanctuary Knights’ numbers thinning when Naoki, Shingo and Miwa felt much more like nuisances to her and it means she’s alone on Aichi’s side. But okay, play cosmic fuckery with your sisters.

IF 21 preview

Rekka sighted. Hopes raised for her re-entering the story properly raised. Hopes realized when the preview caps from Bushi’s Twitter confirm as much

The season that continues its joke of memeing anime deaths.

With the perspective of Kourin’s weekly nightmarish face and the typical use of the angle, eager to see the girls getting the upper-hand over her, as it dawned on me that Naoki and Shingo had weekly stints being the main antagonistic force but Kourin, in essence, is on four and counting. And with the jarring fact that Aichi’s just sitting back, possibly oblivious, possibly not?

The unidentified Sanctuary Knight in the preview had gotten hopes up that Misaki was finally entering the fray but the aforementioned tweet popped that like a Genshin Impact Anemo slime. Rude.

the four breakdowns (for comical effect, it was one Wild call)

Takuto: From what’s been shown of Takuto, one could summise that he’s unable to leave Sanctuary by some force Aichi (or Kourin, with or without using Aichi to do it) has imposed on him, but considering his position, his personality doesn’t quite fit. With the gravity of the situation, particularly when he had pinpointed Aichi as the strongest Psyqualia fighter and (Destiny Conductor) personally input extra restraints to keep him under control, with him being the enemy, it's puzzling how Takuto is so lax. Even more in that he didn’t use Miwa as a means of passing on any message to the other Tatsunagis. While he couldn’t be expected to know Ren and Rekka were dispatched specifically to find him, one would imagine it was natural there would be someone coming and he may have been able to offer anything from within Sanctuary and its populous. But apparently not.

Kourin: To be honest, the way in which Kourin is being handled rubs me the wrong way, and in a different way from Legion Mate (if anything, its the very opposite problem to then in some regards). It appears to be a sentiment spreading among viewers, at least from what have been able to discern. But in regards to this episode alone, she’s proven herself atrocious at her job. Why wander around a public school in her Sanctuary Knight uniform? Why alert Miwa to her being outside the door? Why divulge essentially her entire job description when all he said was her name? Why are you hovering in a public school? Also has no room to talk about Suiko and Ibuki with how she is around Aichi, let alone around the other Sanctuary Knights and playing bodyguard between the two. It feels with each week she becoming even more territorial and possessive of Aichi.

The Dinner Table Scene: This was initially what really stood out as jarring. The scene feels out of place in many regards; from Aichi’s behaviour to its serving no purpose (not when Takuto’s very last line right before it already established they’re two peas in a pod). If anything, it strikes as antithetical to IF Aichi until this point; it’s possible to excuse his lack of reacting to Naoki’s removal from the scene in 18 as being kept in the dark to keep him from struggling to process the news, but with the time that’s passed and losing two others, there’s no way in hell he isn’t aware. Yet he isn’t fazed, not even when Vanguard has essentially ripped away people from him and played right into his beliefs. The choice of setting is peculiar; was it just for the gag of Ibuki having a biscuit for a meal? (does Kourin get groceries in her uniform too?) To be truthful, it feels like the two could have met elsewhere in the castle — the throne room, Aichi’s quarters, a corridor where the city could be seen through a window with Ibuki’s back to it (or it behind Aichi so Ibuki could watchthe view past him) — whether Kourin was involved or not, but additionally, Aichi’s acceptance of Ibuki (and in spite of their past and the Deletion, which hazard a guess he remembers in full) simply doesn’t feel coherent. With how vicious they were to one another, even with the dust settling and them both moving on plus Ibuki’s role in IF thus far, wouldn’t it make sense that there would be some tension between them? The scene as a whole encapsulated some of the concerns that had at points during the season, though it’s redeemed itself with some. But where Aichi is concerned, I worry greatly it’s much like Legion Mate where it feels they don’t know what to do with him and are putting off him making a move personally until the end, drawing out Kourin and the new element of fuckery with characters’ pasts. Don’t want to get down on this season, it’s got its highs and lows like any other, but the episode in particular was concerning and this scene was the pinnacle of those feelings. It could sweep those worries aside with a great episode (for like the fourth time because it keeps coming back strong when alarm bells ring).

The Pacing: Courtney initially mentioned the episode feeling rushed and when sitting down and thinking it over, have to say that agree. Assuming IF is running a tight schedule with OverDress around the corner, it probably wouldn’t have had the time, but it may have benefitted from the episode being drawn across two. It would have allowed time for Kai-kun and Suiko to try and grapple with Ibuki turning coat, as well as draw out the tension of his being on the enemy’s side, the rapid resolution takes away the threat that has been made to Suiko in her own predicament, and Miwa could have been allowed more time to fully flesh out his actions thus far, as well as anything else that his meeting with Takuto could have provided. Though we’re all well familiar with him, there could have been more glmpses into the unique friendship he has with IF Kai-kun and how it might have contrasted their Outside World’s selves’.

Probably debunked super-fast again but will dream:

Misaki’s absence due to her being Aichi’s Sanctuary Knight secret weapon:

Stemmed from the glimpse of the Sanctuary Knight in the preview and the hype that it might have been Misaki’s re-introduction to the story, given her disappearance since epi 8, even when Kamui returned and Shin filled in her gimmick at Card Capital in epi 16. With the emphasis on Miyaji in Reboot, her lack of presence has been particularly strange, with not so much as a passing mention other than her appearance in the ED. Judging by Kourin and Aichi alone appearing in the preview, it feels safe to say she, Naoki and Shingo won’t be a part of the illusion being forced upon Suiko, prolonging this. Maybe Izumi is simply busy with other work and reading too much into it, but dreamt up a theory for the heck of it.

Whether to recruit the Miyaji Cardfight Club as a whole or in response to identifying Kourin’s apparent independent agenda, Aichi brought Misaki aboard, keeping her a secret from even Kourin and the other Sanctuary Knights. With Kourin overstepping her boundaries and their numbers withering, Aichi’s patience runs out and Misaki is revealed, usurping Kourin’s place by Aichi’s side and delivering a devastating blow to her, who has been fiercely loyal to him but recognizes how far gone he has been driven. Misaki’s appearance is coupled with her verbally tearing into Kourin and dealing her comeuppance (which honestly, she really deserves and has for some time now), Aichi may or may not be there so that the sight of himself and Misaki continuing on without her twists the knife.

It would also echo the interactions between the Psyqualia Zombie Aichi and Misaki, with Kourin watching on helplessly with Naoki and Shingo. Just thought it’d be a neat call-back.

#Cardfight!! Vanguard #Cardfight!! Vanguard IF #cfv spoilers #long post

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sage-nebula · 4 years

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I’ve been mulling over Jenna Marbles’ most recent video for the past few days, processing both the video itself and what it means for the future of someone whose content honestly means a lot to me, and I think I’m finally ready to throw my own opinion unto the masses, at least to get the thoughts out of my head and the emotions off my chest.

So, with all of that being said, first and foremost:

Jenna wasn’t canceled.

Read that again, if you need to. I really think this is something people need to understand. At no point was Jenna Marbles canceled. No one was calling for her to be canceled. Her video came as a shock to everyone for the sheer fact that she wasn’t being canceled.

At no point did Jenna’s viewership tank. At no point was she a negatively trending hashtag. At no point were there masses of people wanting to #cancel her. People did tweet at her asking her to address her past videos, yes. She says this herself in the video. But a handful of people asking her to address past videos or current friendships does not a cancellation make. Jenna’s fanbase is in the millions, and I’m sure that although they stood out starkly to Jenna because she is a sensitive person who genuinely cares about how she affects people, the people that were sending her tweets requesting answers were far fewer than the support Jenna has had for years now. So no, Jenna wasn’t canceled. This wasn’t Cancel Culture™.

With that said:

Jenna did address racist videos that she made in the past (along with slut-shaming videos as well). She showed the clips, she flat out said that they were racist and wrong (unacceptable then and unacceptable now), and she didn’t make excuses for them. She apologized. The wording of her apology wasn’t always the best (“I’m sorry if I ever offended you” veers close to “I’m sorry you were offended”), but her intention and the meaning was clear. She regrets ever making that racist content. It’s not content that she would create now, nor is it content she condones. It was racist and wrong and she’s sorry.

So the question is: Why are so many people trying to defend the content that Jenna herself finds reprehensible?

I have seen many people (white people, namely) who are trying to say “that wasn’t even blackface” (even though it was) or “it was a different time back then.” First of all, while Jenna did have a bad spray tan back then, she was doing a mocking impersonation of a black woman. It was blackface. Second, blackface and racism weren’t any more acceptable in 2011 than they are now in 2020. As Jenna herself said, it was wrong then and it’s wrong now. Yes, those videos are old, and Jenna’s content has changed drastically since then. However, 2011 was not so long ago that it was a completely different era of history—and even if it was, blackface was still racist, derogatory, and wrong even during the period of history in which it was everywhere. There was never a single moment in time when blackface was acceptable or okay. There was never a single moment in time when making racist impersonations of an Asian language was acceptable or okay. And Jenna herself recognizes this—she says as much in her video, where she says that what she did back in 2011 was wrong, that she should have never made that content, and that she’s holding herself accountable for it. There is no excuse for the content she made, there’s no dismissal for it. It was wrong, she knows it, and the fact that she owns up to that and holds herself accountable is what (in my opinion) makes her worth respecting as a person. But with that said?

If you’re not one of the groups featured in the racist content, you really do not get a say in whether it was racist or not.

White people don’t get to judge if something is racist toward black people, or Asian people, or anyone else. If you’re not a woman, you can’t say if something’s misogynistic. If you’re not queer, you can’t say if something’s queerphobic, and so on and so forth. You don’t get to say, “This wasn’t actually blackface and wasn’t really racist” when you yourself are white and plenty of black people are saying otherwise. They get the final say. So even if the problematic content in Jenna’s old videos was up for debate (and it isn’t), you are not the one who would get to debate it. Black people are. Asian people are. Those affected by the slut-shaming video are. I understand you’re a huge fan of Jenna’s, and I am as well, but you do not have a seat at the debate table for this discussion. Your place is in the audience. And on that note?

People in the affected groups are not obligated to accept the apology.

I’ve also seen (mainly white) people attacking black people or Asian people who aren’t accepting of Jenna’s apology for whatever reason. Fans are angry because Jenna has clearly changed and doesn’t make racist content anymore, and so they don’t understand why people are still upset with her. But here’s the thing: A hurt person is never under an obligation to accept an apology for the people who hurt them, and from what we know of Jenna’s character, she would agree with this. If a black person can’t bring themselves to forgive Jenna for the blackface, they’re perfectly within their right. Someone saying “sorry” doesn’t erase the hurt that was done, and sometimes it isn’t enough. So if you feel the need to start a fight with someone because they say they can’t bring themselves to like Jenna because of her old videos, don’t. It’s really not your place, and again, given what we know of Jenna’s character, she wouldn’t want you to do it anyway. (Though on that note, I’ve seen far more black and Asian people saying they accept her apology and forgive her than not. So again, this isn’t a mass cancellation. It was never a cancellation. No one canceled Jenna, she chose to apologize and take responsibility for her actions of her own volition, and that’s something that should be respected, not reacted to with horror.)

With all of that being said, there’s a second side to all of this that I think a lot of people don’t know about. Julien posted a message on his twitter yesterday regarding Jenna leaving her YouTube channel, and I recommend that everyone read it, but the long and short of it is that while Jenna absolutely meant everything that she said in her video and truly does regret ever hurting anyone and doesn’t want to hurt anyone ever again, she is leaving her channel NOT because she has been “chased off,” but rather for her own mental health.

Jenna has been a public figure for a decade. Aside from a rare vacation here or there, she has consistently made a new video every week, on top of other projects (such as their shared podcast, the Twitch stream, et cetera). Particularly given the sheer audience she has been producing content for, that is a lot of stress for one person to handle, and with everything going on, it’s not in Jenna’s best interest for her to handle that right now. She’s chosen to leave YouTube indefinitely NOT out of fear of any torch-bearing mob, but rather because it’s what’s best for her at this point in her life. Is it sad? Absolutely. I was gutted when Jenna posted her video saying she was leaving, and I’m even more gutted to know that someone I admire so much is struggling right now. But I’m glad that she’s made the decision that’s best for her. I’m glad that she has Julien to support her, as well as their four furry children. And while I’m sure that most people just didn’t know and thus weren’t purposefully ignoring anything, I think that saying that Jenna left because she was “chased off” the platform instead of recognizing that she left for the sake of her own mental and emotional health both pulls attention away from how stressful constantly being on a stage like that can be, as well as does a disservice to Jenna herself.

This was a long post, but it’s one that I felt I needed to share nonetheless. Jenna is a huge inspiration to me as a person. Not in terms of “I want to have a YouTube channel” (because I definitely do not), but rather in terms of how she chose to live her life however the hell she wanted to live it and embraced the fact that she was a lady in her 30s. I’ve learned to take on a lot of that energy. If the podcast is canceled as well, I’ll be truly crushed. But knowing that Jenna’s channel and potentially the podcast are canceled for the sake of Jenna’s mental health eases that a bit. I want her to be happy more than I want her to produce content out of any sort of obligation. She deserves a happy retirement if that’s what she’s chosen to do.

So to summarize:

— Jenna was not canceled, at all, ever.

— If you are not black, you do not get to determine what blackface is. If you’re not Asian, you don’t get to say whether what she said in that rap of hers was racist or not.

— Jenna has truly changed and grown as a person, no one is disputing that, and her acknowledging her past awful behavior, apologizing for it, and holding herself accountable (while not making excuses) is what shows how she has changed and grown as a person and is what makes her admirable as a person.

— Jenna is choosing to leave YouTube for the sake of her own mental health. There is no Cancel Mob. There never was. Goodnight.

#jenna marbles #jenna mourey #julien solomita

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thenocturnalmushroom · 4 years

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Time to Heal - AshEiji (Chapter One)

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: Banana Fish Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji Characters: Ash Lynx, Okumura Eiji Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Fluff, Lots of fluff, Angst/Comfort, Lots of comfort, Healing, Mentions of past child abuse, Happy Ending

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“Is this city even on the map?”, Ash couldn’t help but ask after what seemed like long hours looking at the same empty landscape; dirt road and wild grass was all he could see passing by the window of the car, except for one lost cow or another.

Ash's entire life had happened among the skyscrapers of New York, and he had never imagined that it would ever change - not until a month ago. It wasn’t like he had anything left in the Big Apple; anything but bad memories and a past he'd like to erase from his mind. Even so, New York had been his whole world for seventeen years, and the prospect of being confined to a small town in the middle of nowhere made him feel a sort of reverse claustrophobia; the ridiculously high and imposing buildings of Manhattan added to the sea of people that flowed daily through the lively streets of his home island made him feel grounded to something solid and real. Without that to tie him to the world, the boy was afraid to float away and get lost forever in the immensity of the endless sky.

“Don’t be silly, kiddo! It’s obvious that Greenriver is on the map!”, Max laughed for a moment, but soon he seemed not to be so sure about that. “I mean… It must be there.”

Ash looked at the man next to him with a discreet side glance; he still didn’t know what to think about Max Glenreed. The boy had seen him only twice in his life, and now he was going to live with the man’s family, which he knew almost nothing about. Max seemed to be a little awkward and a bit distracted, as if he always have too much in his mind to think about, but he was kind enough to welcome the stepson of his deceased younger sister into his house - maybe being kindhearted and compassionate would be part of their DNA. Ash felt a pang in his chest at the thought, like a cold needle piercing his heart.

No, the boy refused to let those memories emerge to the surface of his mind, pushing them back to the bottom of the hole where he had tried to chain them and hide them from his feelings. Not here, not now, he begged to his own mind, stirring nervously on the hem of his black sports wristbands.

To Ash, having to deal with those feelings was like having a giant snake wrapped around his body, paralyzing him and choking him, while it piercing his skin with its fangs, letting its poison penetrate his veins, burning the life that there was within him until it turned everything into ashes.

Ash must have dozed off, because when he opened his eyes again, the empty landscape that had accompanied him for the last few hours had finally been replaced by some low builds and a few dozen human beings, strolling around, enjoying the sunny day. They had finally arrived at Greenriver city, and the setting was as disappointing as the New Yorker boy had imagined; Ash felt more as if he was in a movie set or a "boring small city" theme park than in a real city. He had the weird feeling that if he looked behind the buildings he would find out that they were no more than false facades made of wood and cardboard.

Deep in his heart, the boy knew he should be grateful for start a new life in a place as quiet as that one, away from all the hecticness and chaos of his hometown. After everything he had passed through in the last years, Ash felt he should crave some peace and security, but it seemed so far away from the reality he was used to that it made him feel uncomfortable, as if something essential was missing. It was as if he had left the chaos behind, but the chaos had not left him.

In a few minutes, after crossing a few streets through the residential neighborhood, Max's car finally parked in front of a house painted with a so faded blue that it could be mistaken by white for a less attentive person. The Glenreed family house wasn’t the biggest nor the smallest house on that street; it seemed to be the perfect size to comfortably accommodate a family of three on its two floors and little more than half a dozen modestly sized rooms. Ash couldn’t help but wonder if he would be able to fit in there, if his presence there wouldn’t just disturb the pacific life of that family’s members.

“Be welcomed to your new home, Ash!”, Max's words brought the boy back from his thoughts only to leave him lost in front of its kindness, for the strangeness of having such warm words being addressed to him - even more in a so sincerely and genuinely way – as well as for him didn’t know how to respond to them. Would one thank you be enough? Ash couldn’t tell, but since nothing better came to his mind, it was what he answered in an awkward murmur.

Since he didn’t have many belongs, getting Ash’s luggage out of the car didn’t take more than a half minute. Everything that was really important to the boy fitted into his old shabby backpack; the other suitcase he had brought with him had just a few clothes and things of no value from his old house inside it, things that Max had practically forced him to bring with him - the man had insisted that if he didn’t do it, he would regret it one day. Ash just gave up trying to argue, but he insisted on not touching that suitcase; he had plans to find a good hiding place for that thing and keep it out of his sight.

Max called for his wife as he passed through the door, pushing Ash's suitcase into the house, not bothering to look back. Ash felt grateful for that, for having no one to witness his moment of hesitation in taking the first step into the house that would be his home for only-God-knows how long. The boy allowed himself to take a deep breath before crossing the front door.

Ash had about half a second to let his eyes wander through the interior of the first floor before the figure of a tall woman with long blond hair tied in a messy ponytail came up from the back of the house, catching his attention.

“Hello, Ash!”, the woman smiled friendly, approaching to the newcomers. She wore a slightly dirty gardening apron with a pair of gloves hanging from the front pocket, as if she had begun to work with the land just before they appeared and hindered her in her task. “I’m Jessica, Max’s wife. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”, she made a small movement to stretch her hand out to greet Ash, but she stopped herself in the middle of the gesture, looking a little embarrassed. Max must have warned her about his discomfort at being touched. “Please, make yourself at home. This house is also yours from now on.”

“Thanks.”, his voice came out small and a bit unsteady, not knowing how to respond to gentle words once again. He blamed the lack of custom for that.

“Where’s Michael?”, Max asked to his wife, making Ash feel relieved for not being the focus of the conversation, even only for a brief moment.

“He went to John's house, but he must be back soon. I told him to come back early to welcome Ash.”, and, once again, the eyes of both were on the boy. Although their gazes were affable, Ash wished he wasn’t their target. “You must be exhausted from the trip, aren’t you?”, the boy nodded, but the truth was he didn’t feel so tired; he just wanted to have an excuse to have a few moments alone. “Why don’t you take a nap before dinner? Max will show you to your room.”

“I was about to do that.”, the man took Ash's suitcase one more time, heading for the back of the house. “This way.”

The former guest room, now Ash's room, was behind the last door in the narrow hallway at the side of the stairs, near to the first-floor bathroom and what appeared to be Max's office. The room was small and square like a box, containing only a single bed, a four-drawer chiffonier with a round mirror on top and a small desk in front of the window, with a view of the backyard. Ash could see through the butter-colored curtains the shiny of the sun reflecting on the surface of a small pool and a sort of shed in the end of the backyard.

“I know it's not that big, but... I hope you feel comfortable here.”, Ash could hear the silent apology in Max's voice. The man looked nervous, as if expecting a negative reaction from the boy.

Ash just shrugged, putting his backpack on the bed. “It's way better than a cupboard under the stairs.”

The boy didn't expect his silly attempt at making a joke would be effective, but it had Max letting out a good, loud laugh as result.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, the Glenreed family is more like the Weasley Family than the Dursleys.”, he assured him, forgetting for a moment about Ash’s issues of being touched and patting him on the back, making the boy shrink as an automatic response. “Oh, sorry!”, the man quickly pulled his hands away from him, a guilty expression on his face.

Ash shook his head, dismissing the apology. “So, can I have my own owl?”, the boy allowed a small, playful smile to reach his lips.

“If you’re talking about the plush ones, you can have as many as you want!”, Max laughed again, but more restrainedly this time, visibly watching himself out. Keeping a smile on his face, he pointed around the room and then to the boy in front of him, while he let out some more of his unending warm words: “This is your room, Ash. You can decorate it the way you want. If you want it, I can take you to the nearby town on the weekend to buy something to make this place look more like yours. They have a good furniture and decoration store there."

“This room is great.”, Ash affirmed and he was being honest. It had been a long time since the boy had stopped care about material things; a plain room like that was all what he could wanted.

Max's smile lingered on his face for a few seconds longer, before it start to fade away, making his lips taking the shape of a thin, stiff line. It was so weird to see him wearing such a serious expression that Ash couldn’t avoid the feeling of uneasiness that struck him as he faced it.

“If you want or need something, anything, please, don’t hesitate to tell us.”, both the face and tone of the man transmitted a mixture of concern and a hard determination - the same determination Ash had seen on his face the day he had declared that he was taking the boy's custody. “You’re part of this family now. Please, never forget it.”

Trying to swallow the hard lump that had formed into his throat, Ash just nodded, not trusting his own voice. Actually, he couldn’t trust any of the many feelings that were swirling inside his chest at that moment, seeming to be trying to force an exit out of the boy's body through his eyes. But he couldn’t let them out, not after he had promised not to shed any more tears for himself.

“Well…”, Max started to say as slowly as his expression started to softened again and the corner of his lips started to give life to a new smile. “I'll let you rest for a bit. The trip was long and, well, I’d like to rest a bit before dinner too.”

Making some effort, Ash managed to find some stability to his voice, at least enough to say a few words:

“See you later.”, and before Max closed the door, he added: “Thank you again. For everything.”

The man smiled the kindest smile to the boy. “No problem, kiddo.”, and then, he disappeared behind the closed door, but the feeling of welcomeness in his voice continued to hover in the air for a few more seconds.

Ash took a deep breath.

So, that was the beginning of his new life.

#Banana Fish #Asheiji #Ash Lynx #Eiji Okumura #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Fic #Coffee Shop AU

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alexandercfengland · 5 years

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challenge iii ( character study. )

001. describe your characters’ relationship with their mother or father, or both.

in regard to alexander’s relationship, he is extremely close and fond of his mother. she has always been the world to him and his number one support. he has relied on her for advice and followed her by example, seeing only the best in her despite what anyone else says. in contrast, his relationship with his father is far less intimate as there are unspoken boundaries. alexander doesn’t have any issues with his father but does not really share the same closeness as he does with his mother. while he may be indifferent generally to his father, he does care and love him. both of his parents share such love and happiness that he is happy.

002. what are your characters’ most prominent physical features? what is a feature that they are most insecure about? what are they proudest of?

he has a very nicely chiseled jawline and a very charming and cheeky smile. he likes his wavy chestnut hair and honey colored eyes - all traits and genetics inherited by his lovely mother. in general, alexander wouldn’t say he has any features that he’s insecure about. in fact, he’s rather proud of his face and believes himself to be very attractive. perhaps the closest things he could say that he would wish he could fix would be the angle at which his ears tilt but it’s severely minor that it wouldn’t really count.

003. how vain is your character? do they find themselves attractive? what is their worst flaw, and are they aware of it?

alexander is extremely shallow and certainly believes himself to be very handsome. he matches his elder brother in height, standing at 6′3 so he’s massive. his proportions are also appealing as his legs are long and his body toned from the outdoor activities in participates in. in terms of flaws, well, he doesn’t really think about it. most of the time he dismisses any critiques as he thinks himself above it.

004. what is your character’s ranking on the kinsey scale?

3 so bisexual, equally heterosexual and homosexual.

005. describe your character’s happiest memory. minimum word count:

there are many good memories in alexander’s childhood which is to say that his mother had given him many opportunities to be carefree. perhaps one of his happiest memories is tied to the time when he was allowed to received and rode his first horse with the help of his father and under the watchful eye of his mother. in that moment alexander felt special. there was no one else around to criticize the trio and it was also a chance to feel like he belonged. it also then and there that he is told by his father that his royal birthright shall be acknowledged and brought to light. he shall be a prince.

006. is there one event in your characters’ life that they would like to erase from their past? why? minimum word count: 200.

there aren’t too many things that alexander finds the need to erase from the past. if anything, he would wish that his mother had been made the rightful queen earlier and that his siblings were legitimized as he was. he would’ve wished that his mother been spared of the rumors of being a seductress and a whore - wishing that she was loved by the people instead. he’d even go as far to say that he would prefer it better if his elder siblings had been spared the anguish of losing their mother by just erasing the fact that their mother was even wed to england in the first place. it would’ve solved far more of the problems (needless to say) much of this is ingrained in the fact that alexander is neither fond of his elder sister or the crown prince. but truthfully, much more of his annoyance is targeted at the latter. such sentiments wouldn’t exist if harry had chosen to utilize alexander as an ally rather than an enemy. and much of this is rooted in bitterness that the crown prince intends on disposing queen isabel and all of her children in favor of starting a new reign.

007. let’s talk favourites! what is their favourite colour, food, and season? what, in a modern setting, would be your character’s favourite song?

alexander’s favorite color would be navy which is usually paired with hints of silver or dark forest green - shades usually bright in color like emerald which compliment both his complexion and his visage. with food, he loves anything with meat, preferring eating pork the most. alexander has always been fond of the summer weather seeing that it’s warmer and brighter. plus its an excuse for him to escape into the outdoors to strengthen his physique and flaunt his body as well. in a modern au, he’d be the type to listen to panic at the disco (specifically) saturday night.

008. can you define a turning point in your character’s life?

when alexander was legitimized, it changed everything. it gave him opportunities he would’ve never been open to. it also made him feel more inclined to devote his livelihood to protect and accomplish great things for his mother.

009. is your character an early morning bird or a night owl? at what time do they get most of their work done?

generally I would say alexander is a night owl, he has always preferred staying up late and enjoying the stars. but if needed, he is also capable of being an early riser though this occurs often with a groan and a complaint. he likes to do his work in the morning so he can have the clearest mind and spend the rest of the day doing whatever he pleases.

010 a. what other character, a npc or someone apart of the rp, is your character completely real with? who knows them best, has seen them at their most vulnerable, knows their innermost and basest fears?

this would easily be his mother. alexander has always been comfortable with his mother and has no shame in sharing his vulnerabilities. she knows his heart well and has always cared for him and so in return, he shares the same mutual affection. while he is close with his full blooded siblings, he isn’t keen on showing them any weaknesses lest they worry for him.

011. is your character a neat or messy person?

alexander is a messy person. he doesn’t care for organization and tends to leave a mess for other people to clean up behind him. he cares about his own hygiene but other than that, the way in which he rolls out of bed unmade is a habit he has long been accustomed to. while he doesn’t bother with doing these tasks, he’s always mindful of thanking the servants who tend to his area so that his space shall be well kept.

012. does your character have any irrational fears or phobias?

alexander’s fear would always been with any threats regarding his immediate family. perhaps the one he worries for the most would be his mother seeing as she is his world.

he is also afraid of becoming incompetent or useless - tainting a legacy that he intends to build for the neville lineage. he shoulders the weight of the expectations and does the best of what he can do. but if were to die without achieving the success on the behalf of his family, he would live with unforgotten regret and self loathing.

013. does your character have an underlying passion or trait that influences all aspects of their life?

most of what he does is on the behalf of his mother - his sheer and utter devotion to make her proud is how his world revolves. he definetly considers her opinions and takes her advice seriously. his neville uncles and aunts play an important role in shaping alexander’s childhood as well and their influence still reside in him.

014. what might your character’s ideal romantic person be?

well first and foremost, alexander is very shallow - usually finding appeal in pretty and beautiful things. he is still immature in the field of love and prefers to fool around instead of the pursuit of something longterm and serious.

but i think the type of person that would suit alexander would be older and somewhat reminiscent of his mother (he’s got a big mother complex), someone who he can say nothing and they’ll understand him. a person who will be patient with him when he is confused, angry and conflicted is also a big factor. he needs someone who can humor him and keep his attention span, perhaps give him a run for his money. whoever is able to romantically lock down alexander - well, he’d fall hard.

at the moment he has no interest in commitment and refuses to sire any bastard children so has been in more intimate relationships with men than women. to be honest, his relationship with males are much easier to navigate with women. in a woman, alexander would want to pursue a romance as strong as his father’s and mothers.

015. describe your character’s hands. are they small, long, calloused, smooth, stubby, dexterous or clumsy? do they wear any jewelry and would they wear polish in a modern setting?

alexander has nimble long fingers and large palms that are softer in nature than typical which demonstrate his privilege as a noble for he never had to do any manual labor. he has a scar running down his left hand from a jousting incident. he does have some callouses from participating in athletics but they aren’t evidently noticeable. in general his hands are rather unmarred and he wears only one ring which was a heirloom from his neville grandparents.

016. how does your character smell? what is their favourite scent?

alexander is very keen on keeping up his hygiene (revolutionary at the time, ain’t it) and making sure he looks well groomed. he likes to bathe with rosewater so usually there’s always a scent of flowers wafting from him. otherwise, he spends a good deal of time outdoors participating in a variety of sports. and so he will have a hint of cedar and pine.

in terms of the scent of other people, he has always liked flowers, particularly roses, sweet peas and lilies. he also enjoys the smell of sweet honey and on occasion a sharper scent like cinnamon.

017. how would your muse describe their religious beliefs?

alexander is catholic by birth and by status but his religious stance is nowhere as devoted as his brother’s edmund. he takes much of what the church says with a grain of salt. he understands that when he is expected to wed, his wife shall be properly catholic and together they shall uphold the traditions of the court. but personally, alexander doesn’t think much of religion. though he does have a fear of God so he’d rather abide instead of fight.

018. what rules does your muse live by, if any?

anything his mother says he shall keep an open ear to. he often grits his teeth at the protocol expected of him by his elder siblings, he follows as decorum instructs. however he gladly disposes of rules in times of favor when he can use his status as prince to do what he pleases (so long as no scandal were to arise).

019. does your muse overshare, or are they more private?

alexander generally is a private person despite his seemingly more extroverted personality. he only truly overshares with those he fully believes he can trust or else he maintains a barrier to outsiders.

020. is your muse a gossiper? are they more likely to argue with their fists or tongue? what does their voice sound like?

i would say alexander is more inclined to hear about gossip to stay informed of the schemes at court but he wouldn’t dare spout nonsense lest it fall into the wrong ears. alexander has both brains and brawns and usually has an even temper so he prefers to spar with his tongue. however if pushed to his limits, he has no qualms in using his fists to fight.

021. is your muse a … pessimist or optimist … lover or fighter … believer in happy endings … believer in love at first sight?

generally, alexander is fairly fifty fifty. he’s pessimistic with the future of his brother taking reign over the throne but optimist that his mother and the rest of his fully related siblings shall secure their places and be unmoved from their positions. alexander would like to believe in happy endings but has no desire to achieve them if such things didn’t occur naturally. i believe alexander would be a bigger advocate for lust at first sight. his concept of loving outside of family is little to none so i do not think he has any care for it.

022. what sense of humour does your character have?

alexander is still rather immature and at times, idiotic. his sense of humor can be vulgar but that usually occurs if he’s intoxicated. otherwise, to those who he finds to be good company, he is rather teasing in nature.

023. what bad habits does your character have?

sleeping around with both married and unwed characters would probably be the worst he’s done. drinking is another vice and has a natural inclination to be a hoarder. he likes to collect useless things especially when they’re gifts.

024. how does your character feel about growing old?

alexander doesn’t mind aging however, he is concerned that when more time passes, his end with his mother shall come nearer. otherwise, he does look upon growing older with an optimism. he knows that he can secure his place as he matures as his relations with most people are well received. he also awaits for a day where he may have a chance at seizing the throne, perhaps proving his brothers incompetence and taking the power swiftly from his hands.

025. does your character prefer adventure to safety and security?

in his childhood, alexander was a curious child who would try almost anything and everything - perhaps panicking the servants and his mother alike. but now that he is older, alexander prizes security first and foremost because of his line in succession as well as others.

#crhs.challenge #my brain almost self combusted at the amount i wrote and also no auto checking cuz my eyes be bleedin lol

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milkmoneyzine · 4 years

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WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE #2

Originally published on the Gold Blood Collective Blog.

Believe it or not, we’re back for a second dose of “Who the Fuck Do You Think You Are?” and we’re just as shocked as you are. They’re letting us do this again for some reason, but it seems as if that’s a good thing. From the looks of these questions, some of you are just as bored as we are. So here we go again with answers you definitely weren’t looking for.

moshxlord666 asks: Are panic chords still cool? Why or why not?

M$: You know how when you go to Comic Con (or, more likely, when you’re walking around downtown during Comic Con) you see all these people dressed up as characters from their favorite comic books/movies/video games? That’s called cosplay. Now some of the costumes are really, really good. There’s an attention to detail in them that only die hard fans pay attention to, and it’s what makes those costumes special—even if most people won’t even notice.

That’s a long way of saying that panic chords are pretty much just HC cosplay. You might get close to being a poor man’s Knocked Loose, or a second-rate Emmure, but you’re never going to be Disembodied. People are going to hear it and say, “I see what you’re doing. I get it, but now I just want to listen to If God Only Knew the Rest Were Dead again.”

Try as you might, but you’re never actually going to be Legolas.

JaStan69 asks: Is Hatebreed a good band?

M$: Here’s the thing—Hatebreed is fucking awesome. But that’s not your question. And determining whether or not Hatebreed is a “good” band requires an entirely different approach, but it’s one that we’re more than happy to explore.

Discovering Hatebreed is a rite of passage for anyone getting into hardcore. It’s like when your parents first heard The Rolling Stones, or when we first heard Nirvana. Eventually, someone younger than you is going to be talking about Code Orange or Vein, and you, in your infinite wisdom, are going to hit play on “Doomsayer” and everyone is suddenly doing spin kicks in the living room, or stage diving from the passenger seat and trying to headwalk on everyone in the back of the car.

Satisfaction is the Death of Desire is still an all-timer, and needs to be enshrined in whatever ends up being the HC Hall of Fame. Perseverance and The Rise of Brutality both get close to the peak, but never quite make it. Anyone that says Under the Knife is the best one is trying to sound cool. Hatebreed also has other albums.

Now back to our original point—those three records are fucking awesome. But they’re actually not that good. If you listen to two straight hours of Hatebreed, it really doesn’t take very long before you start wondering if you’re just listening to the same three songs over and over again. Certain tracks stick out, but more or less they all follow the same structure, with slight variations on the same four power chords. A lot of the lyrics are about suffering, smashing enemies, and having the odds stacked against them. None of these songs mean anything, but they all mean the same thing—even if no one actually knows what that is.

That’s kind of a theme with hardcore bands of Hatebreed’s status. You have to be as vague as possible, while also latching on to a few specific phrases that can be interpreted in any way, by anyone, no matter their worldview. The absolute last thing Hatebreed wants to do is alienate someone that might spend money on their stuff. Jamey Jasta is a businessman, and Hatebreed is a business, man.

We have all the respect in the world for Jamey Jasta, and Hatebreed, again, is fucking awesome. But no, they’re not a good band.

Soul Jail asks: How do y’all hardrock so hard?

M$: It’s pretty easy, actually. Every day we wake up and think “What Would Trapt Do?” Then we do the exact fucking opposite.

@beelzaibub asks: My question is: Why does heavy music matter? Why do you think it’s something so many people latch onto? What does it say about the people that find comfort in heavy music?

M$: Well this is a change of pace.

Who let actual writers with rational thoughts, intelligent questions, and interview backgrounds in here? It’s much harder to make jokes when there’s a real level of sincerity involved. God damn it, Zaina. But since you asked…

Punk, metal, and hardcore became staples of what you listened to when you (sometimes subconsciously) wanted to piss off your parents or annoy your siblings. We were all angsty teenagers once, and sometimes heavy music just spoke to us. It’s always kind of dismissed at first as garbage or noise, but once you get a little older, start listening to more and more of it, you start to realize that it takes a lot of craftsmanship to write a good song that’s also heavy. In 2004, everyone thought they could be Hatebreed, but no one actually understood how to do that—which is why there’s still only one Hatebreed releasing albums in 2020.

Heavy music evokes a feeling inside of you that you either relate to or you don’t. There’s really no way to cheat your way through being a fan. It’s like a cool little club that only a few people know the password to. And like Rob from High Fidelity said, “What really matters is what you like, not what you are like.” All of the best M$ friendships were forged in the flames of shitty venues listening to breakdowns while someone accidentally kicked us in the stomach as we were trying to grab the mic to sing along. I don’t think any of us would trade that for anything.

So in conclusion, we think it’s as simple as this: 𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊 𝖑𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝒽𝒶𝓇𝒹𝒸🌸𝓇𝑒

@rickley_kilbot asks: Full Collapse or War All The Time M$: Great question given the zeitgeist. M$ stands behind Full Collapse.

Sure we would have to sacrifice all of our current creature comforts. With the grid down, everything electric goes—wifi, cable, light, Animal Crossing. Eventually gas lines and imported resources like gasoline and sneakers would disappear. That would be tough.

We would have to accept that within just a few years, we would be fully reverted to agrarian and/or nomadic ways. Some would hunker down and farm, others would choose hunting and gathering.

The wisest would band together to maintain some semblance of community. Some tribes would organize around geography, turning their neighborhoods into new chiefdoms, others would organize around more ideological dynamics like religion, politics or emo-rap.

Life would be harder at first. We would have to abandon everything we currently know as normal. But we would have a chance to start anew. To learn from our past and make better decisions. Removing screens would bring us closer to our loved ones. And we’d all certainly be healthier without all the delicious snacks we have access to today.

Picture it. Perhaps, at fundamental levels, at A0001, we’d have more understanding in tough situations like car crashes. We’d be more honest—less concealers. We’d have more time for our minds. We could all write autobiographies of people, animals or nations. We wouldn’t have the same strife, the same holes in the world. We’d cross out the eyes that judge us daily. Paris would not end up in flames and none of us would be killers. We’d all stand on the edges of beauty at all times, in fall, winter, spring and summer. We wouldn’t wind ourselves up in the petty problems of today. Our nights would be long and we wouldn’t talk about being 100 anymore, We’d all be 1100.

It’s not like we never considered this. We all read Ishmael is high school, right? And while none of us consider ourselves to be Anarcho-Primitivists, I think we all share the wanderlust of Thoreau and some of the ideological fury of the John Zerzan or Billy French’s of the world. It’s clear that our current way of life is based on the exploitation of the common human by an elitist system that only survives because of our manipulated participation. Zerzan sums this up eloquently in his ’02 penning, Running On Emptiness: The Pathology of Civilization:

“Culture has led us to betray our own aboriginal spirit and wholeness, into an ever-worsening realm of synthetic, isolating, impoverishing estrangement. Which is not to say that there are no more everyday pleasures, without which we would lose our humanness. But as our plight deepens, we glimpse how much must be erased for our redemption.”

So I think it’s safe to say that M$ is full-on Full Collapse.

On the flip-side, War All The Time would let us maintain some semblance of our normal routines and conveniences. We’d probably still have Animal Crossing. But in a state of perpetual war between nations, what normalcy would we ever really have? Imagine a world where we could all be drafted at any time to go to battle? Where every tweet could be our last? Come to think of it, we might already be living War All The Time... Shit.. Fuck.

Some Guy Named Phillip asks: You’re still doing this? M$:

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greengargouille · 7 years

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I felt the dire need to talk about Korosensei and Aguri, and more precisely why I don’t see their relationship as romantic. Somehow, this ended up pretty long.

(Note : for convenience’s sake, I will use ‘Korosensei’ even to talk about his past human form)

It’s not a matter of “Korosensei is to blame for Aguri’s death”. It wasn’t intentional on his part, and even if he had taken time to think about it, would he really have imagined Aguri doing such a reckless thing as she did ? (doesn’t mean he is to blame any less, tho). Heck, stories where a person kills their love interest for a good reason could be really interesting, like some kind of twisted Trolley problem, but that’s not what happened so let’s leave it at that.

If I were to convey my feelings into words, I think there would be three main points that makes me unable to appreciate this relationship:

1)We don’t actually see much of Aguri in her other relationships. Before Kayano’s arc, we have two mentions of Aguri ; one in chapter 1, a brief flashback from Korosensei ; and in chapter 76, between some students, which can basically be summed up as one page of ‘we had a former teacher that disappeared’, one panel of ‘I liked them, they were nice’ (keep in mind that the sentences were gender neutral), and then one panel to reveal said teacher was called ‘Yukimura’.

Then come Kayano’s reveal. When the story stop to explain us how and why she got tentacles, we don’t really focus on why is Akari so attached to her sister. Chapter 131 had one and an half pages to explain Aguri liked her teacher job, and she was nice and passionated.

Since the past time arc is mostly from Korosensei’s point of view it’s even a bit weird that it’s not solely his, given he’s supposed to be telling the story to his students, most of what we see of Aguri is with her developing relationship with him. We see her interacting with the former class E for two pages, sure. We see her interacting with Yanagisawa. But, the moment with our class E or the phone call to Akari ? It’s mostly to tease Aguri that ‘she found a man’ (we will come back to that later) ; it does imply some friendliness between them, else they wouldn’t say such things, but not much else.

The story post-tentacled!Kayano isn’t that much better. A brief half-page mention during Volume 17 saying Aguri wanted Korosensei to live, one case in chapter 153 on how she put her life on the line to save Korosensei, a photo of her on a chocolate on Korosensei... You can start to see a pattern here. The moments on the top of my head who break this are Yanagisawa’s flashback in chapter 157 and a mention from the Chairman in chapter 160.

A lot of those relationships are really... informed. We hear people say she was this or that, but we don’t actually see a lot of those interactions. For all the ill I could say about the second live action movie, at least they have a small scene of a young Akari baking with her big sis ; those are those kind of little moments that would make us understand why is this relationship valuable. This contrast a lot with Aguri’s relationship with Korosensei, that start from ‘this person could be useful to me’/”Eeeh you looks nice but if I release you you will kill me” to the tentacle hand scene (each wanting to express their thanks to each other and wanting to touch the other).

And then Aguri dies, the sacrifice saving Korosensei from becoming a bloodlust-fueled beast and motivating him to become a better person (and to teach class E).

So... a character that exists mostly for Korosensei’s development and motivations (yes, even more than for her own sister), that is then disposed and appear really occasionally for a one-panel flashback. Matsui, may I direct you to Tv Tropes ? I think you will find the example list on Disposable Woman and Stuffed Into the Fridge are long enough as it is.

Not that tropes are necessarily bad, but when it becomes recurrent that a female character exist solely to be killed so the main male character get development, it’s really tiring. And so, Korosensei and Aguri’s bond feel in retrospect less like a genuine relationship and more like a plot device. And by relationship, I do include the possibility of it being platonic, even if the manga would rather us see it the other way. Speaking of that, next point...

2)The story forces us to see it as a romance. I said we would come back to Aguri’s interaction with class E, so here we go. The students see their teacher is particularly happy, and are quick to jump on the conclusion that she must be meeting with a man she loves after school. Silly middle schoolers, no wonder they jumped on Irina’s signs of a crush as soon as they heard about it.

Next chapter starts with Akari asking her sis if she’s in love, since she sounds more cheerful, and despite her sister’s protests she says she wants to her about ‘that guy’ on her mind later.

Did you see the parallel? Wait, let me rephrase it.

Aguri seems happy, so others assume she’s in love. With a man, obviously ; same-gender romance can’t exist in the main story if it’s not a joke on Kataoka, else it’s best left as a mention on extra-material (right, Yada ?).

But... why? Why couldn’t she be happy because, say, she would met a friend or a family member after classes and just packed a gift she know would make them happy? Well, Akari know about their family’s situation but it’s unlikely Aguri told her about the gift, so for all the knew her sister could just be happy because she had time off-work or got rid of a very stressful thing, no need to see a relationship in this.

It’s tied to the idea, even more prevalent in Japan, that all women seeks romance and need an happy love life to feel fulfilled. And, just like a game telling me not to push that big pretty red button only makes me want to push it even more, when a story insist that, of course a female character is/needs to be in love, I will sit here hoping my judgmental glaze travel across time and space to hit the author on the head.

I like relationships that could work either way. If Matsui had kept this ambiguous, I would be way more appreciative of it ; instead of what he’s pretty much saying “Yes, of course they’re in a relationship” while winking unsubtly and nudging me with his elbow enough to make me fall from my chair.

If you think I’m taking my analogies too far, I can’t exactly say you’re wrong since the appreciation of this is subjective. But think of Kayano post-tentacles. When choosing whether to kill or save Korosensei, she does think ‘I wonder if it’s because we’re sisters that we both fell for assassins’. Karma wants to give poisoned chocolates to Korosensei for Valentine’s day? She bring him a photo of Yukimura in a more-or-less sexy swimsuit. Seriously Akari, that’s your dead sister we’re talking about.

Sure, we could say she’s coping with her sister’s death by trying to think at least she got to be in love with a man that isn’t Yanagisawa (in case you hadn’t noticed, Kayano... don’t really like him *Understatement of the week here I go*), because if Aguri wasn’t in love with Korosensei that meant she never found happiness before dying. But we never had signs that this was what Matsui was trying to do.

Why Aguri couldn’t be happy with Korosensei as a close friend? Wouldn’t her death have influenced him as strongly if he saw her as a found family? Heck, this one might as well be better, given the close relationship Korosensei have with class E.

Now, those two problems are shared by lot of stories, be they manga or novels, destined to teens or pre-teens just as for adults. The third one is a specific story point, precisely in chapter 138. It might be more subject to interpretation (to translation, too), and as such personal tastes might play more of a role in it.

3) How Korosensei treated Aguri after learning he would die. The moon just exploded, Aguri had barely learned that the lab would dispose of the God of Death that she was already running to him to inform him of the truth. Of course, he is crushed by th- nevermind, the narration talks about ‘embracing a cursed death’. That sure was quick. So, Korosensei’s first reaction is to want to try his new powers. When Aguri wants to stop him, does he listen to her, even knowing full well she won’t make him change opinions ? Nah, better to point out she have less talent than him, and even add how little value she have. Uncalled insults are sure to make her feel better after all. (One might see these as a way to make sure she would leave and not get caught up in the events, because Aguri is Aguri and any less rude way to persuade her to do so wouldn’t work. I do not share this vision of things).

Even the ‘it will be better if you leave before you die in vain’ is dismissive. Sure, he warns her and waits for her to leave the room before acting, showing a tiny amount of care left he wouldn’t have for probably anyone else in this building. But there also the underlying meaning that he won’t restrain himself in his destruction solely because she’s here.

As soon as Korosensei was reminded of his values on death, he pretty much threw this relationship away. relationship for which Aguri put a lot on stakes by telling him about his imminent death. This upsets me for a personal reason, but even without that, this does throws a wrench in the whole relationship.

Sure, when Aguri died next to him, Korosensei ended up regretting the whole thing and had a change of heart. But a ‘Ooops, turns out I do care after all’ doesn’t erase all the damage he did by his preceding action (or the damage he could have done, rather, because Aguri is too good and still tried to save him).

So, what am I telling with this post ? In the end, very little. I wanted to present my opinion on the subject ; if you do ship Korosensei and Aguri and it brings you happiness, feel free to continue. Those are points that I feel one should be conscious of (though I feel the last one is hard to ignore), but liking this pair despite this does not makes one a bad person. However, as one must do anyways, please tag your content accurately so people like me can blacklist it.

#assassination classroom #assclass #ansatsu kyoushitsu #Aguri Yukimura #Korosensei #while this does concern their relationship as it is rather negative I feel like this should be tagged as such

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