#of living/food/clothing conditions and religious disconnect

[magic-is-something-we-create]

happy wbw :D kind of since the ember being angry about capitalism snippet, i've been meaning to ask: what are some things that are affected by class and how? i'm thinking specifically about art forms, entertainment, religion/philosophy, and language (because housing, education, etc. feel more straightforward), but feel free to talk about anything!!

Happy WBW to you, too!! :D

OKAY so. One of the Things about how class affects people like Ember in the Ehlven system (other than, yknow, food + shelter) is that the way religion is presented and taught is very different between those in poverty and those at the top of the proverbial ladder! And, of course, regional differences - but I won’t get into that quite as much right now. One of the ways I’ve been trying to show this is through Ember (born into a terrible economic situation, and has now been forced into one thats even worse bc orphan) and Iceberg (born into one of the highest positions in their society, Going Through It rn but still infinitely better off) interacting, so I’ll try to use them as examples in this:

Ember, as a person who has felt abandoned by the system so often, has grown up with lots of religious friends, but still feels pretty apathetic to the idea of the Goddesses. Despite their apathy, they know they can seek kindness, help, and wisdom from the temples, and, by extension, from the Goddesses themselves. Their interaction with religion has always proven to be that of gentleness and acceptance, with Priestesses who encourage them to grow as a person and learn to love themself, seek connection with others, and indulge in their creativity.

Iceberg, who has been among the leaders of the Maelands since he was young, grew up around people who either follow the “Chosen One” without acknowledging why and by whom he was Chosen, or who speak of the Goddesses as distant beings who would rather not meddle in mortal affairs. He’s often been met with quiet disapproval in the Mae court when he expresses himself through art and emotion, and poorly-disguised ridicule in the Rill court when he refuses to pick up a blade and “prove himself”. Most of his interaction with religion has been offhand comments about “What would the Goddesses think...” in the most negative ways, and no reason to think that those might just be people’s opinions, rather than actual criticisms of the Goddesses.

Essentially, lots of the lower class seek religion as a guiding light and comfort, where much of the upper class doesn’t want to face the idea that they’re not actually following their own morals, and thus uses religion as a way to hurt others and push their own beliefs. It doesn’t help that a lot of the nobility sees Tieling as being incapable of misinterpreting or misrepresenting the Goddesses. Some of them even worship him as if he were a deity - always in private, because he doesn’t want them to, but they do it nonetheless.

Thank you again for the question!! I might rb this later with the firebreathers taglist, tbh, cause it seems like something that would be cool to know about the characters...

#wbw #ehlverse #ehlverse religion #mayhism #idk its hard to put it into words the way i want to #but class differences in the ehlverse are very much a matter #of living/food/clothing conditions and religious disconnect #a&a

[missmentelle]

🐺 Hi. Any advice for finding/trusting therapy when I've been traumatized by psychiatric malpractice abuse? I've tried dozens of therapists and it always fails because I can't control my PTSD reactions in those specific situations. Even "trauma specialist" therapists have turned me down because of it. I've thought about checking myself into a PTSD inpatient, but it's across the country, and much of the abuse occurred in psych wards so I'm scared they'll be just as bad. I feel like I'm doomed.

I definitely don’t think you’re doomed, but I do think that you need to get creative with how you tackle this problem. 

Instead of starting out in therapy, it might be a good idea to start out with a meditation or yoga class. Nothing fancy, just a regular yoga class offered at your local community center. I know that this is hokey, cliched advice, but yoga and meditation can be incredibly valuable for helping you learn how to clear your mind and control your breathing - both of these are things that can help you get through a panic reaction. Being in a regular meditation or yoga class where the focus is not on you and you are not being made to discuss your trauma might help you to learn these techniques without having a reaction, and these are skills that you can carry forward into therapy someday. 

Taking a physical activity such as yoga - or self defense, boxing, martial arts, zumba, etc - can also be very helpful for regaining a sense of ownership and autonomy over your own body, which is also very helpful for people with PTSD. One of the things that people with PTSD often struggle with is a disconnection from their body, or a feeling like they have no control over what happens to their body. Doing an activity that teaches you greater control over your physical body is a great way to regain that connection, and to feel like you are the master of your own body again. Seeing your body do exactly what you tell it to do, and being more in tune with it can be very healing for some people. 

You might also want to look into controlling your PTSD and other symptoms with medication alone, without seeing a therapist just yet. If you feel comfortable, check to see if you can obtain medical marijuana or cannabis products in your area - many people report that this helps greatly with trauma symptoms, and some people feel more comfortable using marijuana rather than psychiatric medication. If you are having any difficulties sleeping, you might also want to get a referal to a sleep specialist - PTSD is a disorder that frequently causes disrupted sleep, and getting a poor night’s sleep can greatly exacerbate symptoms. Treating the sleep problems in isolation can cause improvements in all your symptoms. 

You might also have to cast a wide net when you are therapist-shopping. Are there any therapists in your area who specialize in very severe cases? Are there any who use more creative methods, or methods you’re more comfortable with? If formal, traditional therapy tends to be an issue for you, try looking for therapists who incorporate lots of alternative, holistic and artistic practices into their therapy - your body might be less inclined to have an “oh shit, this is therapy” reaction if you’re working with paints and clay while you talk. If you belong to any mental health groups online, put out a call for recommendations in your area - have people with similar conditions had any good experiences with therapists they can recommend?

Going into an inpatient program might be a positive step for you, provided that you can find a program that works for your needs. Do some research into the program you’ve found, as well as other programs that might be closer by. A program that allows more freedom might be less traumatic for you. Does the program you’re looking into allow you to bring and wear your own street clothes? Do they have outdoor spaces you can access? Can you bring your laptop and electronics with you? How’s the food? If your faith/culture is important to you, will you be allowed to incorporate your religious or cultural practices into your treatment? There are very good hospital programs out there that treat their patients with dignity and respect - if you research the programs carefully, you might be able to find one that you feel comfortable attending. Most importantly, though, you need to know that you cannot give up. Trying to find a treatment regime that works for you can be a long process, and that process sucks. Really. But there are good programs and professionals out there that can get you the help you need, and living a life with managed symptoms is worth the journey it takes to get there. Best of luck to you!Miss Mentelle

#AnsweredByMM #Anonymous

[thevernalsea]

always strange to return

some call in the dark

For the past two years I’ve studied medicine, it’s what I asked for. I feel so alone all the time. I made friends, sure, but do they know me? Does anyone know me? What do they think of me?

I live every day with this knowledge that I am unlikeable and unloved. That everyone secretly, sort of hates me. What a horrible feeling. It feels so real. How do ever know? Why does it matter so much?

I always say too much or not enough I never know if it’s too much or not enough. I am invited but I don’t want to overstep, I am invited but I do not know if I am welcome. I take up so much space. I am taller and wider than the people around me. I eat more than them and I require more space for my legs. My family is weird and there are things we don’t talk about but I feel like they define me.

There are things that aren’t normal but it feels like they are until I am reminded they aren’t. How many people can divest themselves from their family.

I know my paternal great grandfather was a butcher and that he came from hungary and I know that my great grandmother from russia came and was admited to psychiatric stays. How much of it was that she was a woman and how much of it was that she needed to heal? My grandmother hated my mom and my uncle and resented them so much. That my mother married an abusive man until he left her one day with no warning and she moved to california and worked as a dancer because her parents were awful. My uncle moved across the world to france had a partner that he loved who killed himself after a diagnosis and my uncle has never healed and is closed off emotionally. My mom was on drugs our whole childhood. she always tried. She was sober and she was so wonderful from when I was 27 to 29. I will remember those two years with her. She does drugs again now, and is always high. She also has the same diagnosis and it makes her sad and sick. My grandfather was a lawyer and my grandmother is a social worker. I love them but I hate them too. 

My dad has been so many things in his life. A car theif that was sent to vietnam, a laborer, a painter, a motorcycle technician, a foreman, in jail, a drug dealer, an oil driller, a dad. I also love him but resent him for how emotionally closed off he is. The history of our family and ourselves. My grandma was left by my grandpa who left my dad and started a new family and adopted his new wifes children who stopped taking care of him when he was old. My dad tried so hard to be his friend again but his brain had stopped being functional. I lived with him for two and a half years and it was too much for me. I tried my best to take care of him but I was so young and he always told me stories about WW2 that I didn’t want to hear. My grandma died when I was 17 or 18 and it was horrible my Aunt was supposed to take care of her but we think she didn’t and my grandma died of complications. My Aunt is sick in the head and was never able to overcome her depression and obesity and I miss her but she was manipulative. My dad gave her money for a long time to try and care for her but one day she got a lot of money from the state and instead of paying him back she bought a trailer and left the state and never talked to any of us ever again.  My best memory of her is when I was a little kid and she told me that wind chimes are the sound of angels of those we have lost reminding us that they love us, and how to do witchcraft and respect the earth. 

My dad always told me he was protestant because his dad was but he never said anything religious except for that he believed in god and we celebrate christmas and easter, but I never knew why, really. My mom is Jewish but ish and her parents had my uncle bar mitvah’d but not my mom and my mom did not for my sister or me. We celebrated passover and we celebrated hannukah and we went to jewish preschool and had jewish friends but never studied torah or went to temple on a regular basis. The only prayer we know is the candle prayer on hannukah. 

Why are these stories so important to me? My dad had a hard time growing up. His older sister was his savior and she got married and pregnant and was killed in a car accident and I never got to meet the only person my dad admired. She died when he was a teenager and it changed his life for the worse. He has been involved with weird people and gangs. Now he is lonely and has no friends. My mom also has no friends. She suffers from depression and mania so much. She always has. I tried so hard to take care of my little sister and keep her safe when my parents couldn’t see what was happening.

She is safe now and so successful and I am so proud of her. I hope that I helped her. My heart is so heavy. So much pain and I guess this stuff isn’t normal. But isn’t it normal to be touched by suicide and drugs and jail and crime and depression? Isn’t that all part of the human condition? Isn’t it normal to have your dad be arrested when you’re 8 and go to motorcycle school for 2 years? You know it’s jail because you go to visit but you agree to play along that he is learning more about motorcycles. Isn’t it normal to have his friends steal from his business and his dad drive the business into the ground? Isn’t it normal for your grandparents to not want to help, isn’t it normal for your mom to starve herself so that you can eat? 

Isn’t it normal to realize you love girls and boys and your one connection to queerness hates children and has no time for you and is emotionally disconnected because the person he loved is dead. Isn’t it normal for his new partner to hate you and be cruel to your mom until your only familial connection to queerness is completely cut off. Isn’t it normal to be abandonned by the skinny white girls in your girlscout troupe when their skinny white moms learn that your mom works as a dancer and your dad is in jail - and isn’t it normal for them to exclude you when you are 10 and have gained too much weight because your mom gives you mcdonalds and doughnuts and pizza and apple pie. As much apple pie as you want because you like it, and when she was a kid her parents starved her because they were so wrapped up in their own shit that they wouldn’t buy enough groceries. That they owned two homes but wouldn’t buy their daughter new clothes so she was always an outcast. So then my mom wanted to make sure that anything I liked I had too much of. So when I was hungry I would lie because I knew she wasn’t eating so that we could. And when I ate it was unhealthy but I was 10 so how was I supposed to know better? Is it any wonder I get scared about having enough food? 

Isn’t it normal to fall in love fast then, when you are 13 and scared of the world. Isn’t it normal to be betrayed by your best friend in the world and overreact when they fall in love with the same person you love? Isn’t it normal to be filled with guilt and regret that the canyon you built between you and the person that mattered is still there even though you still blow kisses from across the cliffs? 

Isn’t it normal to fall into the arms of an abusive white boy that bruises your arms and insults you and tells you that you’ll never be anything and isn’t it normal to love him even though he smells like the sweat of the sick and sucks the blood of your soul from you like a swarm of lice. A demon that hurts you and you seek love, the rare, rare, love. Isn’t it normal to love him even though he dresses like the people that killed your family in hungary and in russia, and to fear him. But isn’t it lucky that he cheated on you and abandoned you because you were too broken to stop talking to him otherwise. But another best friend still loves him and she leaves you for him anyway. 

Isn’t it normal to fail out of high school because when you kissed a girl you were heckled and your friends kept trying to kill themselves and sometimes someone you knew would succeed and sometimes someone you knew would end up in the same kind of hospital your great grandmother ended up in and isn’t it normal to take a lot of aspirins because you might as well join them and isn’t it normal to be threatened with the same thing. Isn’t it normal to be fifteen and to have marks all up and down your arms and to be wearing the biggest black hoodie in 90 weather in new york city looking at the testament to the exclusive modern art spiral of a museum that gate keeps anyone not white and male from art and to say - maybe I want to be a doctor. and she says. you’re not smart enough for that. 

to decide that the only thing you can ever do is produce art because I guess according to her and other people in my life that my brain will only ever be good at one thing, and the insults that I am flaky and dumb and fat only allow me to sit alone with a pen and paper. 

Is it all this that affects me every day? Is it all this that drives me? Is it normal? Does anyone else have this? I don’t want to be alone anymore. I just want someone to tell me this is normal. I just want someone to tell me they had this too. I just want someone to tell me that it’s okay that I’m anxious and scared because of 20 years of emotionally abusive relationships. How did I find the nicest man then? That’s luck. And how did my grandma start believing in me then? that’s luck I guess, and my dad came home and even though he’s mean he pays for everything. and how is it that I’m never hungry anymore my pantry is full and 

I’m going to school to be a doctor and how is that I still don’t feel good enough, how is it that I still feel like a burden to anyone I tell my story to

is this even my story? or the stories of people that live inside me? or the stories of people I have let into my heart. it’s just a little bit too. it’s just a little bit. 

medical school hurts. 

how do you grapple with all of these things inside you

#medical education #personal story #anxiety #depression #streamofconciousness #medical school #poem #poetry #spilledink #ink #writing #pen #pencil #thepen #featuredpoem #featuredpoetry #prose #thoughts #fear #love #truth

[flyingmustachio]

You know what I think is really important to understand is that we under American Capitalism are kind of gaslit by our poor understanding of history and biology. We assume that we have no right to demand more peace and more freedoms and more pleasure and more joy and more equality since we are living in “the most privileged and comfortable era in all of human history thanks to technology.” How can be so ungrateful and miserable when so few of us suffer and die horribly from the kind of diseases that used to plague mankind? When we have electricity and cars and heat and air conditioning? When we “live more luxuriously than any ancient emperor?”

And to some extent, that’s true. It’s wonderful that so few people die in childbirth or from diseases or injuries when compared to the rest of human history, and it’s wonderful that we are able to have access to such a variety of foods and activities and services. But it’s completely incorrect to assume that because these difficult things were more common in the past that the vast majority of everyone throughout history spent every second of their lives in misery and drudgery and we’re just ungrateful, wussy pricks for feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled by our comparative material bliss. We assume that society in the Middle Ages or the ancient world were divided into The Rich Few and The Poor Masses, and that if you were among the Poor Masses your life was just misery and toil until you died at 30 of some horrible infection.

But the more I learn about the common people throughout history, the more I realize this simply isn’t true. The average life span was only 30 since so many babies, and mothers and warriors died early. If you lived past your teens in the past, you were just as likely to live to be in your 70′s as today, unless there was a war or famine or plague happening. Most people were farmers, and yes, farm work by hand is very hard, and yes, making everything by hand takes a lot of time so yes, people in the past did a whole lot of work, but here’s the thing - it wasn’t even close to as dehumanizing for most people as work is today. Resting was not demonized. Enjoying yourself and valuing fun and amusement wasn’t seen as childish. Though they worked an hour or so longer than we do on average today, Medieval peasants had more time off than we do, with all of the weeks long religious festivals every year. Naps were normal. And yes, if it was a time of scarcity or famine people suffered horribly, but, like, it wasn’t always a time of scarcity or famine. It was a time of scarcity or famine less often than you probably think.

And if you think about the type of work most people used to do, it was much slower, more self directed, and allowed for much more human connection. If you’re weaving, or making cheese, or tilling a field, you or your small team are in control. You can stop and rest for a short time if you need to. None of these tasks require 100 percent concentration. You can talk to the people around you while you work. You can make friends and tell jokes and stories. You can be connected and productive at the same time. While the work was physically harder than most work today, it was much less mentally taxing or isolating. Especially now when many jobs expect you to be on call all the time or to still answer emails during your off hours. It’s absurd! It’s not normal!

I mean, look at the hobbies people choose nowadays. The things we view as “extra” that people “waste time” on. Hunting. Fishing. Crafts. Hiking. For most people throughout human history, those things WERE your work. And sure there was more pressure back in the day. Like there’s a lot more pressure to actually catch a fish on your fishing trip when if you don’t catch one your family doesn’t eat tonight. But it says something about the nature of our work today that so many people would spend their precious and short free time and spend the money they toiled to earn  in order to have the opportunity to do the same things our ancestors considered “work.”

And even the more “passive” hobbies that people see as less productive, like TV and video games are not some new luxury. Stories have been around forever, and they have always been an integral part of what it is to be human and to connect with other humans. Most modern jobs don’t allow for story or connection. You’re busy, mostly alone, all day long. If we can’t tell each other stories while we churn our butter or plow our fields, we’ll watch TV and play video games together on our days off.

I guess my point is that it’s not normal to be this miserable. It’s not normal to hate your job or your life. It’s not normal to feel so isolated and disconnected. That, while we are more physically comfortable on the whole than at any time in history, we actually seem to be considerably LESS mentally comfortable, healthy, and fulfilled than most other times in history, and we’re not wrong or ungrateful for wanting to change that.

Many people blame technology for our lack of connection. They think that the fact that most people spend their time off work watching TV or playing video games to relax and many people prioritize those activities over more direct and authentic quality time spent with family and friends means that TV and video games are inherently addictive and bad and that they and the internet keep us in bubbles, divided from each other. But I think that these technologies aren’t what’s actually to blame, I think it’s how we structure our work. There is only so much time in the day, and we can’t fit in work and human connection, and basic home tasks, and rest and relaxation. I mean think back to how much easier it was to make friends when you were in school. You were at class together, you could do homework together and help each other. The human connection happened at the same time as the work, and you made deep friendships because of all the time you spent together. I imagine the same was true of pre-industrial work. If you’re telling stories while weaving cloth, teaching the beginners and helping each other, the human connection is happening at the same time as the work. I mean it makes sense why so many people today seem to have trouble keeping deep friendships, sleeping enough, or simply getting enough peaceful downtime. There simply isn’t enough time in the day, so something is bound to get left by the wayside in favor of other needs.

I think it’s like how crash diets contribute to binge eating. If you cut out whole categories of food and cut your calories very quickly you are much more likely to lose control and eat much more than you would have in the first place if you had just eaten normally. I think modern  Americans only act so “lazy” when they’re outside of work because they are so very overworked and underconnected to begin with. You wouldn’t expect someone who hasn’t slept for a week to be able to just have a regular 8 hour sleep and be back to normal. They’re going to need to sleep long and rest up and recover. One argument against things like Universal Basic Income is “Without the threat of poverty, what will motivate people to be productive? Everyone will just sit around and watch TV for the rest of their lives.” But you can’t expect an entire population who haven’t known real rest and leisure since childhood to just magically know how to distribute their time healthily. They’re going to act really lazy and hedonistic for a while. But eventually they will get bored, and they will realize they feel better and more connected and more fulfilled when they are working on things that interest them. And most of them will find some sort of job again, but this time they’ll actually have the luxury to figure out what they’re actually passionate about and feel fulfilled in their job, which will lead to even more innovation and productivity than before. Necessity may be the mother of invention, but passion and curiosity are the parents of progress. And if some people do turn out to just be lazy to the core? Fine. Let them watch TV forever and be happy! Technology is constantly making our work more efficient while our population continues to rise. There simply aren’t enough jobs to support all of the people we have, and I don’t think people should starve because of that.

#Universal Basic Income #It's not normal to be miserable all the time #Wanting fulfillment is not decadent or unreasonable

[clan-fuildarach]

tiber and/or rich?

why not both??? thanx hun

What they smell like:

tiber: the obvious answer is that he smells of the sea. he spends a lot of time in the water and he has a saltwater kind of aura around him. but aside from that he smells like heavy incense and smoke from his attempted precognition sessions. sandalwood and opium are common scents. idk what opium smells like.

rich: he smells like weathered wood and oilcloth. less like the sea and more like someone who lives on a boat on the sea and has to constantly help out with upkeep and sanding and varnishing and sail maintenance and so on. kind of a staler sea smell then a fresh saltwater. he also smells like whatever’s going on in the kitchen when he has to cook shit. 

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc):

tiber: he has four arms so he needs a lot of space to stretch out, when he’s not slumbering in the water alongside the ship in his dragon form. despite being physically smaller than rich, he takes up more room and tends to sprawl out. he talks in his sleep too

rich: he is a very neat sleeper. he curls up on himself or around tiber and sleeps in utter silence. he doesn’t like spending a lot of time in bed either, he never sleeps in. 

What music they enjoy:

tiber: he’s into gregorian chanting. nah music isn’t a super big deal in cfd so there’s not much to listen to aside for the rare occasion when neven breaks out the reed flute. but he likes jaunty, exciting music, with lots to keep and hold his attention. 

rich: he grew up being attended to by entire orchestras. he likes chamber music and big sweeping numbers that you don’t really dance to, you kind of sit and listen. opera stuff. he has very sophisticated tastes 

(length cut)

How much time they spend getting ready every morning:

tiber: not much time, probably. it’s not like he has a lot of outfits to choose from. he does have long hair so it requires some upkeep, especially since it’s subjected to salt water on a regular basis

rich: rich likes to prepare his greatsword every morning even if he doesn’t wear it or use it. he’s meticulous about it. when it comes to his personal appearance, he doesn’t bother with much effort. he used to be so vain back home but again, there isn’t any fancy clothing to be found here

Their favorite thing to collect:

tiber: he has a growing fascination with the art of divination, so he likes to collect things that he think could help guide his visions. tarot cards, carved bones, witchy stuff. 

rich: nothin much

Left or right-handed:

tiber: he has 4 hands. he’s equally proficient with all of them 

rich: right-handed 

Religion (if any):

tiber: his religious views circle around the tidelord and the sea of a thousand currents, and his divination is a part of that. but he plays fast and loose with the general ‘rules’ of seeing the future and isn’t super religious, in the end

rich: no religion, his family never cared about the gods 

Favorite sport:

tiber: he is of course an amazing swimmer, but he’s more into brain teasers and pub quizzes when it comes to competing against others. he has not much of a competitive streak.

rich: sword-fighting. after his humiliating loss to emiliano he threw himself into practice and became far more proficient, but while he was held captive by pirates he was forced into dragon form permanently and used as, basically, a bait dog in a fighting ring. he grew somewhat disconnected from his bipedal form and his sword fighting forms suffered. so he tries to get in some practice every day, sometimes using training weapons (read: planks of wood carved into sword shapes) against his clanmates who know how to swordfight. he’s still seeing a significant lag in his development and ability.

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc):

tiber: he would love to see museums and historical artifacts (especially of a more occult flavour)

rich: probably sightseeing in general. he likes seeing new places 

Favorite kind of weather:

tiber: he loves the rain while at sea, especially watching it fall onto the surface of the ocean from below. the rain blurs the boundary between sky and sea and makes the whole world feel like it could be underwater 24/7. as an abyssal guardian he doesn’t feel the cold whatsoever and has no care at all for being soaked to the skin even in his bipedal form

rich: sunny days with a brisk breeze, perfect flying conditions. he has grown to associate the rain with tiber, however, and appreciates it a lot more than he did before meeting his husban

A weird/obscure fear they have:

tiber: usually someone with precognitive powers might fear seeing their own death, or the death of a loved one, complete with knowledge that they are unable to stop it. tiber, on the other hand, fears the opposite - he fears not knowing. he worries that rich will be hurt somehow, without him never knowing it. 

rich: he has a fear of transforming back into his dragon form, and hasn’t done so for several months. sometimes he can still feel the muzzle wrapped around his jaws, the ropes and the reins. he’s scared that if he were to transform back, he would find himself chained up just as before. even though he trusts clan fuil darach not to do this shit, he still fears it

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail:

tiber: is there a carnival game that u win by having hands to spare. whack-a-mole maybe 

rich: any kind of strength contest. he’s pretty stronk 

#rich cd #tiberius cd #Anonymous

[contemporaryissuesgroup-blog]

16

Devin Timpone: Short story idea (A synopsis)

Backstory:

Nuclear warfare has devastated most of the western world in a matter of only a few months. This left almost unlivable conditions for humanity in the following years. After the initial attacks wiped out almost two thirds of America’s population, those left faced the consequences of radiation. Some lost eye sight, others the ability to walk, but most inherited a cancer-type disease which damaged the skin and left them in poor immunity for the rest of their lives. At this point, America faced the biggest depression of its existence. Civilization ceased to exist, religion was non existent, and people fought brutally over the lasting remains of food and water. Maybe believed it was the end. According to our narrator, this time was formally known as “The Dark.” Years later, a religious group with new, exotic ideas gained popularity amongst anyone who was left. They offered hope, and a reevaluation of the values and morals people should hold. They preached the idea that the world fell because of a disconnect between humans and the earth. They believed humanity became too concerned with materialistic goods, ego, and technology, which in turn, destroyed the planet.

As this group gained power, people accepted them as a form of government and rule. They helped restore agriculture and vegetation. They truly did improve living conditions, and for a desperate world, they were a beacon of hope. They preached an ideal of nature over nurture really emphasizing that humans are born with the potential to do right, but only if they live undistracted by material goods and pleasure over the course of their lifetime. This began a new era known as “The Light”, or “The New World.”

There became a push for procreation, in order to restore the population size. Children born in this new world are known The Cardinal Generation. These children are special because they are the only ones to not have any radiation effects. They are healthy, strong, and in good health, and so the rest of society really depends on them to restore life to the way it used to be. Our narrator, twenty-two year old Finn, was a child of The Cardinal Generation. The New world is the only world he knows.

For the cardinal generation, fate is predetermined. At birth, babies are assigned to a “house” which is consistant with a sort of trade. Examples: healers, fighters, nurturers, etc.  What house they are assigned to is dependent on uncontrollable, celestial circumstances such as the position of the moon when they are born. Their religion preaches that this is predetermined and chose by the universe.  They can fall into one of ten houses, each consistent with a particular element— which determines what job they will have in the future. An example: our narrator was deemed ignisis, or, “of the fire” which makes him a good fighter. He has known since he was a little kid that he would fight in battle. The new civilization is known as Luminor. Pleasures of today such as phones, magazines, pop culture, media, are banished, and considered black market goods. Our main character explains most people collect banished items from the black market. He had a wooden drum to play with as a child. It was his prize possession.

Most people live in rural areas, because big cities have turned into polluted, drug infested slums. People who do not follow the laws are often sent to cities to live the rest of their days. Cities are one of the only places you can find large amounts of goods from the old world. Most people who live in cities have severe, fatal forms of radiation poisoning and serve no use to the rest of society.

Plot:

The story opens up in Finn’s first person perspective, waking up in a hospital bed after having a strange, vivid, reoccurring dream. He is suffering a gruesome leg injury from a homemade bomb and has been unable to walk for weeks. It’s only now that he is gaining movement in it again.

He explains how there is tension between government rule and those who oppose it, those people being nicknamed “shuks.” Over the last few months, Luminor has seen a handful of ambushes from these rebels, and now Finn must recover quickly so he can be sent to fight back. He watches the nurses say a prayer for his sake.

We meet Finn’s best friend and the secondary character of the novel. He is known to almost everyone as “Spud.” Born Nathanial Isaac Dudley, Spud is one of five boys, each of which have died in battle. Finn feels great responsibility to keep Spud alive, for the sake of his single, grieving, mother. Spud is goofy, brash, and child-like. He isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed but has great courage and the ability to give his all to whatever cause he’s fighting for.

` Spud informs Finn that’s missed quite alot in the hospital. Since he was admitted, conditions in Luminor have turned violent again. Tensions between government rule and protestors have peaked. There has been a handful of ambushes from The Shuks in the last few days, an now they believe the Shuks are planning on ambushing Luminor again tonight. And since the hospital is in enemy territory, it’s vital that they move now and catch up with the other troops.

Spud supports Finn’s weight as they leave the hospital and move forward. Finn’s still losing alot of blood and goes in and out of consciousness. It’s through these moments of unconsciousness that we learn more about Finn from his memories. He remembers “Transition” day, when he was sent away from his families at eighteen to begin his civic assignment as a solider. He remembers saying goodbye to his parents and how proud they were of him.

He also thinks Audra, his fiancè. In this society, each of the ten houses has another house that it goes with. The house you’re matched with is opposite you, and they’re stuck together to promote an idea of balance. You can only be married to someone who has the house sign of your designated match. Audra is a quiet, peaceful, girl. She’s assigned to the house Terrasis (nature and growth). At this point, we are unsure of the nature of Finn and Audra’s relationship, but he hints that they do not have much in common. Regardless, he cares about her deeply and sees a long future with her. After walking around for some time, Spud and Finn have reached the gates of the city. The plan is to meet up with the rest of the troops who have stationed in an abandoned building. Instead, they are lost wandering down dangerous city states. Finn comments on the unfamiliar smells and accumulation of garbage and debris that lines the streets. He has never seen a city up close before. Before they realize, they are stopped by two Shuks of english decent. They smell like cigarettes and look intoxicated. Unable to fight back with Finn in such poor shape, Spud and Finn submit to being held at gunpoint by the men. They are taken to an underground site of rebel Shuks where they are placed in a holding cell, mocked and ridiculed. Finn slips back into unconsciousness, where he dreams he is a drummer on stage in an alternate life, being cheered on by a crowd. When he wakes up, Spud is fighting off a drunken Shuk in an attempt to get away. In this chaos, a homemade bomb is dropped into the room they are being held. Spud jumps on the bomb to take the heat of the explosion. He is killed, and Finn’s life is spared. With his hearing impaired, Finn desperately looks around for a way out. Desperate and traumatized by his friend’s death, he limps through the underground tunnels until he comes across a familiar face. The girl he encounters is one from a vague, but present memory of his childhood. She is a childhood friend of his, one who was assigned to the house of intellect, but instead left Luminor to join the rebellion. Finn remembers her name: Runa. They instantly recognize each other. Runa decides to help Finn, since she knows he will most likely die from his injuries in the near future. She helps him disguise himself as a Shuk and shows him around the underground tunnels of the city. Finn is amazed by the music, chaos, and parties of the city. It’s unlike anything he’s ever experienced. As much as it terrifies him, he is drawn to it. It’s like a secret that’s been kept from him this whole time. Finn stays there for weeks and has an existential crisis— feeling guilty for leaving the rest of his troops to fight while he stays with the people he was raised to believe is the enemy. We see changes in his character as he embraces the philosophies of these people and begins to believe house system is impractical and a device to control the general public. He’s not sure what he believes at this point— and wonders who would be if he wasn’t assigned to be a soldier. A part of him wonders if he could be a musician, because of how much he loves the sound of drums. The story comes to an end when the city is ambushed by Luminor. The last thing we know is Finn being faced with a choice to fight with the Shuks or the war boys. We don’t explicitly know the outcome of his choice, because his perspective once again goes into the unconscious state. He has a dream of an alternate reality where he lives without houses or rules, laws, or a fundamentalist upbringing. He begins to believe that the house he was assigned doesn’t define him, but the person he has become and the experiences he has gone through does instead. In the final scene, weeks later, the number of rebels have almost tripled. They begin to walk into the streets of Luminor, protesting, chanting, in a mob of music, song, and banished clothing and jewelry. Though they know they could easily be shot and killed, they continue to walk, fearlessly, motivated by their cause. Finn is the back of the line, face painted, in real clothing, playing the drums to the beat of the music.