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#oh I'm going to eat my hands

cantankerouscatfish · 1 month

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went to my mum's house to drop food off. walked in. heard her shouting up from the basement that 'I need your help down here!' so I'm like, oh she fell again.

but then she appeared at the bottom of the stairs with a box of rags. turns out she'd kept one of her trailing cacti on a house paint can for height. picked up the plant to move it, caught the paint can, knocked the whole kit and kaboodle onto the wooden floor. blue (and dirt) everywhere.

she can't really kneel on the ground, but I can, so I set to work slopping up 1/3 gallon of old paint into the emptied rags box.

she got some of the clean rags soap water-y and now that area of the floor is the cleanest one. lmao

#'oh now I gotta clean the rest of the room!' 'that's a you problem. I'm going home to eat.'#my hands were very blue. it won't all come off my nails aaa

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mushroom-for-art · 1 year

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Another one, a proper au one this time, I think this is part one of what I'm gonna dumb the Shadow au (I wonder why lmao), the wonderful horrible Syn belongs to @seasidemew

We'll call it a tie

Matt flew weaving between trees of the woods with reckless abandon, on his back he carried a backpack full of stolen human food, he laughed to himself remembering their enraged yelling and hollering, they were furious! And he was very impressed with himself. He'd nabbed it and escaped without being spotted and was far far away from where they were now. He slowed carefully at the end of the woods into a meadow clearing, landing with a stumble he stretched his psychic energy outwards to sense if anyone was around. He only sensed other Pokémon so deeming it safe he ventured into the meadow placing down the backpack carefully before spinning and flopping onto his back into the soft warm flowers scattering petals everywhere as he chuckled.

He stretched in the sunlight purring to himself as he wiggled on his back before sitting up again, psychic energy popping open the backpack as he carefully pulled out the stolen food, mostly tupperwares of things and sandwiches carefully wrapped, it was someone's picnic and now it was his. Well. He'd share it with his sister when she arrived. He sniffed the wrapped sandwiches separating what May would eat to one side, his stomach growled a little at a chicken curry sandwich that smelt deliciously spicy and swallowed as he started to drool. He was DEFINITELY having that one as he put away the food for his sister into the backpack to keep it safe from wild Pokémon. She was probably off collecting berries or something he pondered as he opened a bottled water, also stolen and had a drink satisfied by the coldness of it.

He waited a few moments before unwrapping the curry sandwich, it was in a soft baguette and his tail started to wag at the smell of it and the fact it was a big sandwich, he could tell it was going to be delicious.

"Now that looks tasty." Matt half leapt out of his skin at the sudden voice looking up a bit startled to see a mewtwo he didn't recognise. His eyes roamed over the other gray skin, dark gray tail and a bright crystal coming out of their shoulder, he finally reached the strangers face as they smirked down at him and found himself blinking at the sight of their stunning purple eyes admiring them and the stripes decorating their face.

The stranger chuckled and Matt's face felt hot, going a touch red over his pink hue as he laughed in slight embarrassment and nerves tail still wagging up and down furiously.

"Yes, uh, I could share with you? If you liked." In honesty Matt didn't want to share and wasn't one to willingly share much but he found the stranger rather attractive and did want to get their favor.

"I would like." Matt smiled shyly, focusing his psychic energy to carefully break the sandwich in half to share it with this stranger. He blinked as he felt their hand on his shoulder moving to look at them as they leant in close.

"You'll be quite satisfying." Matt's face went red as he stared bewildered but not at all unhappy about the situation, his smile was a bit timid as he wasn't sure what was happening exactly but having not interacted with another two he wasn't related to he didn't know how they behaved naturally. Unaware of the danger.

The hand grasped his throat in a quick harsh movement slamming him backwards into the grass below as he felt a sudden weakness and his life essence being pulled from his body through the hand that squeezed in his throat, he gasped in shock trying to breathe bringing his feet up to attempt to shove the other away but they didn't budge as his sandwich fell apart on the ground. Panic was setting in as his feet kicked and shoved the other but they were a solid wall of muscle letting out a mewling cry of pain as the stranger stomped a foot down into one of his legs to pin it down, tears prickling and rolling out of his eyes at the pain and confusion.

The strangers mouth became a cruel grin as he looked down on Matt as he absorbed his life, feeling the energy flowing into him in a way that was most satisfying, planning to take the rest of the actual food as well once he was finished. Despite missing both his arms, Syn felt that this odd twos life energy was quite abundant.

In the woods Matt's cry stretched out fading as it traveled but it reached the ear of another, his sister, who dropped the berries she was collecting as she broke into a sprint through the trees towards the meadow in a panic.

"It's nothing personal pinky, you were just nearby while I was feeling hungry." Syn casually mocked as Matt weakened further. "At least you'll be part of sometAH-"

He yelled as something collided hard with his side knocking him away from his meal, he caught himself in a float glaring furiously at the second mewtwo that interfered, their body coated in a shiny metallic layer that glistened and faded as they stood scowling at him bitterly. He looked them up and down as they moved standing protectively in front of the pink one on the floor who was breathing hard before he laughed. The orange hued mewtwo that stood before him was even shorter than the pink one and had a short fat tail and needed glasses, it was almost comical that he'd been caught by surprise.

"Well, looks like this just became a two for one deal." He flew at the other throwing erratic dark energy balls at that flew through the air and struck at them repeatedly creating a cloud of smoke before turning his body using his momentum to slam his tail into their body with force flinging them back, he watched their body hit the ground as it bounced a few times until it stayed grounded sliding along the grass into dirt below till they stopped, it looked as though it had been quite painful as they didn't get back up just lying there. He smirked and chuckled. That was easy. But it had got the blood flowing.

He turned back to pinky and growled at the empty space of flattened flowers.

"Now…where did you go…" He mused looking around and spotting a shade of pink disappearing into the treeline, his psychic energy grabbed hold of Matt who whimpered pulling him back into the meadow "I'm not done with you yet-"

Pain ripped through his back as smoke burst out from the impact point as he took a staggered step forward before turning with a growl to see the orange one annoyingly back on their feet as the pink one ran away.

"Funny. I was gonna say the same thing to you." Stars appeared behind the orange one swirling quickly before shooting out at him which he blocked efficiently with a protect glaring at the smoke created, he leapt back to dodge as they broke through the smoke slashing their dark clawed covered fingers through the air where he just stood, they kept with their momentum slashing at him repeatedly as they attempted to get in range. He grinned widely, kicking his leg to strike across their face sending them flying to the side but they caught themselves this time sliding back and stopping quickly as they snarled at him baring their teeth, though their glasses were cracked.

He blocked with his arm as stars struck him from the side as he was distracted looking directly at his opponent soon to be meal. He oo'ed softly at the trick of striking from the side, clearly this one must've been in fights before. Their body shimmered with a coat of metal again as he lunged for them, elemental energy swarmed around his fist as he swung and punched into their arms that they held up to block knocking them backwards before flames burst up their arms electricity shocked their body and ice crystals rapidly spawned and broke along their body in elemental damage as they stumbled with the pain chunks of ice sticking to their body.

"Mmm, iced," He hummed licking at his lips at the thought of enjoying the energy of this other two as he shook the elemental energy off his hands, they were full of fight and while the other seemed abundant of life energy this one must have a stockpiled. "I suppose for now I'll enjoy having you and I'll have pinky another day."

The blade just missed his eye.

He dodged and stepped as blades of psychic and shadow infused energy shot out at him from thin air, he had only seconds to register the materialization of them as they spun at him slashing through the air cutting with whistles at the sharpness and speed. He hissed at the hot pain as one of them managed to cut his tail and quickly leaning his back far backwards with his knees bending as the orange two swung at him shadow psychic energy creating sharp blade protrusions on the back of her hands between her two fingers like a Toxicroak claw. In that moment everything slowed as he saw an yellow ring around the outside of her brown eyes that had narrowed into hateful glares before time returned and he spun swiping under their legs to knock them over forming his own blade to quickly strike down into them only to stab the dirt as they rolled out the way.

They got back up struggling for the weight of the ice still clinging to them holding themselves ready to strike with their formed blades as he pulled his blade from the dirt, swinging it casually and holding it ready for combat.

"So you were in battle rings?" They began slowly circling each other, he could see them struggling limping for the ice on their body, it was almost a shame they were a good fighter just not good enough to survive him.

He swung at them and they blocked their blades colliding with force which reacted explosively throwing them both backwards away from each other, his front bruised from the explosion and energy outlet while bruises quickly formed on the back of her hands going up her arms from where it collided with her body in turn, blood dripping from the wounds on the back of her hands left behind from her protrusions while blood ran down the inside of his fingers where both his hands had been cut up from his own blade.

His breathing was a bit heavier as he watched them breathing heavily in turn, he could see their hands shaking from her injuries. He collected himself for a moment taking a moment to eye them, watching as they took a chunk of ice off of their body holding it in their palms.

Dark type energy started to collect around his hands as he prepared himself to continue the battle. They snapped their palms together and broke the ice chunk in their hands which created a thick foggy cold white shot out around the meadow.

Syn snarled at the sheer fridgedness of the air as he brought his arm up to protect his eyes from the ice shards in the gusts created from that trick. Bits of frost and snow clung to and cold burned his skin before he created a psychic burst that dispelled the icy mist.

He moved his hand to brush off the frost and bits of snow as he stood alone in the meadow and despite his annoyance he did chuckle slightly at the fact they'd actually managed to escape.

Of course they wouldn't have escaped him forever, he'd find them again he's sure. The pink one had been satisfying but he craved more, and he desperately now wanted a taste of the orange hued one especially after such an exhilarating fight. He wanted to know how she could use those moves… He exhaled before carefully picking up the backpack that had been abandoned in the rush to escape, stolen food would do until he found something more living or ran into them again.

#My writing #@seasidemew oc #@seasidemew syn #Mattwo the mewtwo #May the mewtwo #Tw blood mention #Tw fighting #Syn really shows up tries to drain Matt's life ruins his sandwich then steals their fucking lunch #Also Matt is dumb and gay sees handsome mewtwo and blushes going stupid #But in his defence he never met Darkness or another shadow Pokémon so doesn't realise like crystal in body = evil bad #Also I don't think May has any synergy shards in her in this au retconned that but she CAN still tap into shadow typing #Because she did still have that inside her both dormant and active for a long time so she can tap into the blades they have as a TREAT #I think if the fight continued it only would've escalated and since Matt had already safely escaped she was just looking for an opportunity #To flee lmao get heck outta dodge so I'm calling it a tie since at the end they're both kind of in the same situation bleeding hands #And bruises. She's got chunks of ice on her and he's probably got a burning in pain back from before #Also the punch was like tri attack but with his fist. Sometimes character in story can use move that is so against canonXD #Also Syn really sees another mewtwo who's a good fighter and has synergy moves and goes oh underground battle ring?#Syn gets a fun fight as a treat this obviously being the start of some intrigue now he wants to eat her energy #I feel they'll have a rematch then he want to corrupt her and keep one of the two undecided eat or keep life is full of such hard choices #Meanwhile May is just wow I fucking hate that guy XD #Hurt her fucking brother he's in the bad books she mad at him #Also I thought him calling Matt pinky was funny cause he doesn't know his name lmao just the pink one pinky #Honestly I'm just glad he didn't mega evolve but again I think if it continues it probably would've escaped to that #Also I kept frantically googling shadow Pokémon weakness for accuracy and no Google I don't need gengar weakness

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rapha-reads · 10 months

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My mother cheating on my father with a guy 30 years younger than her and when we tell her it's disgusting and unacceptable she tries to justify herself like "Oh, this is so Christian moral and catechism puritanism from you" and "This is the patriarchy that's talking".

.... Are... Are you trying to justify your CHEATING on your husband since 1990 on feminism and freedom? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT, YOU WILL. She thinks she's not in the wrong because, what, fuck her Christian education and she's a woman, she can do anything she wants ? Is she FUCKING KIDDING ME???

YOU CHEATED, YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING FOR MONTHS, YOU FUCKING JERK.

You hurt your husband, you threw him out of the house, you hurt your children, you think you can come back to my father's village? Your youngest daughter is TWELVE, and you're hurting her so much she's bottling everything in so well she could win an Oscar already, AND YOU THINK EVERYTHING IS OKAY AND YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG OR MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE ?

What sort of fucked up imaginary world are you living in that cheating is acceptable. For heaven's sake. She had the galls to tell me "adultery is banal, it's ordinary, everybody is doing it, it's not serious; don't be so dramatic". *screams* Hi, hey, if everybody is jumping off the bridge, are you going to jump too? Have you not PAID ATTENTION? Wars, murders, catastrophes have been done because of CHEATING, it is not a MODEL, it's a warning!!! Wtf, wtf, WTF.

I'm tired, I'm so tired. I have a thesis to write and I can't bring myself to work because my mother is throwing away all her life, acting in a shameful and unacceptable way, and disrespecting her family. My grandfather and my uncle and aunts aren't aware yet, but when they learn, oh boy, they might jump in a plane for Morocco to go yell at her.

Anyway. I'm having a real bad time these days and my only solace, my only salvation, are my sisters and my brother.

#rapha talks #so this rant is on one hand to let you know why i'm not very active right now and on the other hand just to rant bc i needed to get it out #on telling her that there is a real imbalance a giant red flag in her rship with the guy she tries to tell me i'm being patriarchal #Is she fucking kidding me #did she get a lobotomy in secret and that's why she's dropped her brain off and is acting in that unrecognizable way????#because we (siblings+father) are truly starting to believe that she's actually sick for acting like that #she tried to explain that she's free and she can do whatever she wants because it's her life and she can't resist her desires #????????????#I AM CONFUSION #i know you guys don't have all the details in hand but please please tell me we're not blowing things out of proportion #because i'm seriously starting to doubt my sanity my morals and my grasp on reality #i'm having a bad depressive episode right now and the one person who was 50% of my support system is gone #(as an added layer of unhealthiness: the guy in question is 23 + a blackafrican immigrant in morocco undocumented - she's white and settled #yeah there ABSOLUTELY NO aspect of this whole thing that's either sane or moral or acceptable #and i am going crazy and my father is in very bad shape he's not sleeping or eating anymore #and she refuses to question herself or think over her actions #oh and the other thing is that they both (parents) want me to come home to get a job back where i worked last year #her because she wants the money i could bring (my salary last year wasn't mine it all went to the family)#him so i can take a flat and take my youngest sister with me because i'm the second mother and she can't stay with Her and her lover #and i am so tired #so very tired

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girlyliondragon · 8 months

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IK all my bath talk is weird but like I haven't really enjoyed one in such a long time. It's all been showers ever since the past decade or something so I never got to actually soak and shit like I hear many do. Like what the fuck, is this what simple human pleasures feel like? I'm not even kidding it felt so alien to do again and do sorta 'properly'.

Granted it probably doesn't help that my tub is the classic cheap default one (you know what I mean, the simple rectangle, it doesn't even have a proper ledge for those bath trays I've seen unless I wanna get a standalone table-like one, which I am thinking about) instead of those big, cooler looking ones that are actually built for that sort of thing, but still.

I actually used that melatonin soak I brought up a few days ago yesterday night and I was CONKED out in bed in minutes xdgfcghvjgkhljhgh. Maybe if I get a proper pillow for the tub I will probably risk falling asleep there before I get to the bed because I was sluggish after getting out of there. Which is good, I like that, I've been getting a little too bold with my night hours so it was needed. I've really been wanting to spoil myself with this shit after everything I've had to deal with this year so that I can properly relax for once and forget about bullshit.

Anyways looks like I have some fucking incentive to bathe more now, even if it's just to sit and soak and chill for half an hour with some music to help me gauge the time. :o

TL;DR Emerald is finally learning what fucking physical self-care is.

#Em Speaks #Don't mind me just rambling #Also officially on a ''shower first to clean. bathe to relax. shower again to get bubbles off'' thing with that #so at least once my cleaning habits let myself go again (and they will) I won't sit in my own wet dirt and can get out feeling fresh #I see so many people talk about how they have these fancy candles and eating while bathing and I'm like #oh god I can't do that I'll have to make do'' and I have lol #I don't think I'll ever be the sort to eat or read during a bath. My arms and hands will be wet anyways.#Candles? I do not trust myself with fire at alllll. Tho maybe fake ones can suffice? Idk

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regular-lord-reckoner · 1 year

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just got home from a mandatory work meeting i had to actually go into the office for

i thought it was something pertaining to the raises they admitted they lied to us about and how everyone was pissed, but...nope!! just usual business shit and a lot of stuff i really didn’t need to be there for

but worry not because one of my managers saw me riiiiiight as i was about to leave and was like, “hey, do you have more time to work on some charts because one of our other providers needs some help for a few weeks with his”

so it’s not a done deal, she said she’d talk to him this evening but i did tell her if that was the case then i would definitely need some help with one of the other tasks i’m supposed to be working on and that i’m taking the last week of this month off so if i can work around that then fine

also going to take that as permission to get more overtime because so far no one has said anything about me getting some every weekend for the past few weeks so i’m going to keep that going but still be putting in more job applications because whew

#i was also late to the meeting because even though i've been up since 5 am #it was because my back woke me up!!!#again!!!#this time i'm wondering if it wasn't period pain related because that also happened so...idk #i'll be drinking a lot of water and lemonade today just in case #i also stopped to get myself some chipotle as a treat and i was going to get the vinaigrette because i haven't tried it yet #and unfortunately it spilled all in the bag like there's not even one drop left in the container #but from what i got on my hands it's pretty tasty #not enough to bother the people working there if i could have another one but maybe some other time #in any case i'm going to eat my food and maybe take a nap because i'm so ding dang tired now #oh and i think i found a therapist i just need to send an email so i'm working up the courage to do that #but hopefully before this weekend is over i'll have done it #in any case i'm taking today off even though i really need to get caught up on work #we'll do overtime tomorrow today i need to just...relax #and sleep

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