#oh my gooood jesus
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id rather be shot in the leg 27 times than have my period again.
#period pain#girl problems#im in so much pain#i need heeeeelp#oh my gooood#why meeeee#fuck my life#jesus christ#im going to lose it#i cant do this#please#i hate being a girl
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NOTICE: DO NOT USE DUCT TAPE TO BANDAGE A WOUND. I HAVE SPENT THE LAST HALD HR TRYING TO GET IT OFF OH MY GOD
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Hey Jack! I think Dave is.. looking for you. You should probably check on him-
>Looking for me?
>The bastard practically wanted me dead on Monday when I refused his little kid-killing scheme. Straight up left the restaurant and didn’t show his face again, he was so mad.
>Why in the hell would he suddenly be looking for me?
>Even if he was, I wouldn’t know the first place to fucking—
>Mmmmyyy body lies overrr the ocean, my boooody lies over the seaaaaa—
>I’mmm no gooood at astraaaaal projectionnnn, so brrriiiing back my bodddyyyyy to meeeee!
>Oh, holy fuck, I’vvvve nevvvver felt ssssooooooo… Un-Coporeal. Wuwuuuuugghh, what issss… Within it me is outside o’ me… And whaasss inside of mmmmeeeee is SOOOOOOOO much LSD.
>Hooooow’d I even ennnndup here? What the hell did you get yourself int’, you big clown? I’m not surrrre, I just woke up out hereeee, again… What would Henry think? Who cares! He hates mmmmeeee!! He pushed me aside he did, he did! How’d he do that, then? He says “Get ouuuuutta here, you purple menace you, and leave me the hell alone for as long as your pitiful life stays clinging to this wretched Earth!” Why’d he say such a thing? I duunnoooooo! Was it something you did? You’re always getting yourself into trouble, you. Please leaaaave me alone, leave me to rot here, you… Yew… Schtewpid bastard, you caaaan’t stop bothering me, both you AND him…
>I’ve never done nothing to warrant this! I’m yer friend, Davey! Yer nothin’ but some bassard keepin’ me angry, you rotten fuck you, I wish you’d both fuck off hand ‘n hand and go… Go stuff yourselves in a waterlogged springlock suit, fuck you!
>A VISSSSITOR. Who— Who arrives?!
>… Dave?
>Sportsy! Old Jack! Whateerrr yoooouuu doin’ here?! You smell different. Yer wearin’ that coat!
>… Jesus Christ, dude. I’ve never seen you this bad.
>Aannnnnd I’ve never seen yew so good lookin’, handsome.
>Alright… Let’s… Let’s get you up, it’s freezing out here, man.
>Ohhhh, yer sooooo warm, Sportsy… I juuuusssss wanna crawl inside yer skinnn and wear ya as a jacket… Heh! Jack-et!
>… Thank… You…? I’m going to ignore you for a bit, is that alright dude?
>Yew can do whateeeeeever yew want, cowboy, I juss love ya soooo much…
>We’re gonna go back to my place, okay buddy? Get you under some covers and make sure you don’t accidentally… Hurt yourself. Let you sit the rest of this out someplace comfortable.
>Yer… Yer takin’ care of me, baby?
>Only ‘cause I know you won’t remember it.
>Yer… Yer sucha nice boy, sucha sweet sweet tangerine, you…
>Y’know, I wus… I’ve been… feeling preeeety rancid lately, Sportsy. Henry… Kicked me to the curb again, said I don’t wantcha here, and I wus… wanted… spend time with ya, Sportsy, like old times, I wanted t’… I missed… yew. ‘Nd yer dumb stupid clementine face, that schtewpid beard— If… If Henry don’t want me, then I know… I wus always thinking, I thought— Sportsy’s there! There’ll alllllways be Sportsy! B— Because there ain’t Sportsy, it’s just me, and just me makes me wanna die. I don’t wanna die. I don’t wanna die when yer holdin’ me.
>I’m… It’s pretty fuckin’ radical… that yew still care. Still the… same rotten orange I knew and loved.
>…
>… I…
>I still care. It’s okay.
>It is?
>It’s okay.
>… Let’s… Get you home. Try and relax, we’re only a block away from my car. You can sleep when we’re on the road.
>Gnnaaaaarly… Road trip with Old Sport!
>Yeah, man, sure. Gnarly.
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Imagine what Jordan Li is thinking meetin you on campus for the first time:
"Where'd you come from, Angel? Never seen you before. Fuck, I gotta know you."
"God, look so innocent; wanna change that so bad. Mama doesn't even know how gorgeous she is."
"Fuck you got on? Must wanna end up hangin off my dick huh?"
"Y/n.. pretty name to match a pretty girl.."
"Shit, almost caught me starin. Can barely keep my eyes off you. Gotta be more careful."
"Jesus Christ, that ass is fat as fuck. Bet its soft too."
"The fuck is that loser introducin himself to you? Should fuckin kill him for makin you laugh- such a pretty fuckin smile though."
"That's my girl; don't need no asshole walkin you to class. Such a good girl for me already and you dont even know it."
"Mhm, just as smart as you are pretty. Fuckin knew it.."
"Yes! Glad we got multiple classes together. Need to keep a eye on my new girl."
"Hate having to partner up.. Shitshitshit, you walkin my way!"
"Mama's not that shy. Glad we're partners; can't wait to spend some time alone with you."
"There goes that pretty fuckin smile again."
"Fuuuuck, can't believe my dicks this hard just from listening to you talk. Please, please don't notice, princess."
"So quiet now that it's just us in my room. Wonder what you're thinkin..?"
"Standin so close, wanna touch you so bad.."
"Smell so good- wait.. Why you lookin at me like that mama?"
"Holy shit, cant believe you kissin me! Mmmm.. Lips so fuckin soft; taste so good y/n."
"Knew it, ass is plush as fuck.."
"Man, you ain't playin huh? Mama's onna mission. Good girl, sit right on my dick. Perfect.. So perfect for me, feel so good against me."
"Don't wanna - fuck - gonna cum in my damn pants if ya pretty ass don't slow down."
"Not shy, definitely not shy. You're asking to get fucked sweetheart.."
"God damn needy as fuck already, poor baby can't stop beggin for it."
"Needa slow this down.. Don't want it to end before I get my prize."
"So fucking wet, shit.. Mama's drippin down my wrist. Squeezing so tight round my finger like this. Fuck!"
"Impatient little girl, pushing me to lay back so you can take what you want. I'll allow it- this time.."
"See? Told you to let me dig you out with my fingers first; lil pussy's way too fuckin tight."
"Fuck-it's-in! So fucking warm inside, so fuckin warm. Chokin my dick so gooood. Keep fuckin me sweetheart, please dont stop."
"Skin so soft; you're a fuckin goddess. Cant keep my hands off you."
"That's it, take what you want from me y/n cause I can promise you next time ima do the same."
"Oh you wanna play? Don't tease me mama, you don't wanna see what happens next.."
"Fuck, perfect titties I ever seen. So plump, so goddamn soft. Gotta pinch these pretty ass nips."
"Takin this cock like a fuckin champ, honey. Got me leakin in yo shit.. Ohfuck Pleasedontcum, pleasedontcum, pleasedontcum!"
"Sound so pretty baby. Yeah, keep moanin for Daddy. Let em know know who's makin you feel this good."
"So lucky to have you like this honey, thank you. Thank you so fuckin much."
"Thats my fuckin girl, lickin your juices off my hand. Thas it suck Daddy's fingers, show me how you'd suck my dick y/n."
"Gotta nasty lil mouth, know that? Make me cream in this lil pussy way you talkin."
"Shit, pussy milkin me like you bouta cum. Yeeees baby, want that so much! Lemme feel it.."
"Fuck- cant even slide out honey! Cummin already? Mmmm.. Barely even rubbed that puffy lil clit before you came allover my fuckin cock."
"No y/n! Bring that ass-wait.. sit on the edge of the bed? Why, whatchu got up ya sleeve mama?"
"Ooohshit, your mouth feels amazin baby. Just like that y/n, ain't gone take long pretty girl. Got me on edge- fuuuuck, you suckin my dick like you gettin paid honey."
"Love how you lickin the tip. Oh fuck, keep doin that."
"Thas it, massagin my balls just how I like it. Feel that nut buildin mama?"
"You really down there playin with my needy lil kitty already? Pussy soakin wet from deepthroatin Daddy, huh?"
"Got me shakin for you princess. Yeeees, ain't nobody suck dick like my baby. Finna fill those cheeks up.."
"Fuckme, the way you lookin up at me right now- ohshit, can't take that gorgeous smile with a mouth full of my dick!"
"Yeeeees, y/n! I'm cummin! No, no, no, come back here; stay on this dick. You started it so you gone finish it mama. Mmmmmm.."
"Uh uhn, look at me. Good girl.. Ass better not ever be embarrassed for makin Daddy feel good."
"Swallowed without bein told: Good girl."
"Naw, you puttin them clothes back on fa no reason; ain't goin nowhere.. You mine now, Angel.
#jordan li#jordan li x reader#jordan li x you#jordan li x y/n#black reader#all readers#daddy k!nk#smut#dirty talk#inner thoughts#inner monologue#suckin dick#black fanfiction#gen v
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Honey, it’s alright
Summary: Josh brought you home completely wasted. Jake takes care of you, and attempts to sober you up.
Warnings: obviously alcohol use, mentions drinking and driving(it absolutely does not happen), praise, crying/emotional drunk, sweet absolutely tooth rotting Jake.
~
“Hi joshhhhh” you yelled as he walked into the party.
“Omg your fucking wasted. Girl we gotta go home” Josh told you as he saw the state you were in.
“Wait no I am notevendrunk joshuaaa” you slurred.
“Yes you are darling. I gotta get you home. Can you come with me please?” He asked you as he dragged your arm towards the door.
You pulled away “We going to Jakey?” You asked letting yourself fall into josh. “Jakey Jakey Jakey” you sang
“Exactly! That’s exactly where we’re going” he told you.
The car ride back was a roller coaster. It started out quite with you asking a few questions, and josh always answered them. No matter how odd they were. Then you turned the radio up, and you and josh sang your hearts out. Of course this roller coaster wouldn’t be complete without a breakdown.
“I love this song” you busted into tears.
“Oh god don’t cry” he turned the radio down. You yelled at him for it, and he was trying his hardest not to laugh about it.
“It’s .. just … so …. gooood” the tears fell from your eyes.
“Hey guess what” he said trying to distract you. You tried to guess but it was nowhere close. “We’re almost to Jake!” Which of course made you cry more.
“I miss Jakeyyy” you curled into a ball and cried.
“I can’t win” josh laughed.
You arrive back at your house. Josh had barley parked the car when you decided it would be a good idea to take off running inside. You somehow made it to the door, and Jake opened it.
“Dear god your wasted love” Jake said. “Oh fuck did you drive home? How did you get here? Are you safe?” You laughed as you fell the ground on the front porch. Josh started walking up to Jake.
“I drove don’t worry. I wasn’t even there long enough to drink I promise I am completely sober” Josh assured him.
“How much did she drink?” Jake asked.
“I don’t know I literally just walked in. She came up to me completely hammered.
“Jesus. Hey stand up okay. I gotta get you in the house baby” Jake said, and wrapped his arms around you to lift you to your feet.
“Hi Jakey” you said letting your body go limp in his arms.
“Hi sweetheart” he laughed and gave you a smile.
“I amdrunkkkkk” you slurred.
“Trust me I know” he said but your attention had been turned somewhere else.
“Where’s Josh? Where’s Josh?” You panicked.
“I am right here silly girl” josh laughed.
“Hi joshyyyy. Did you know I am drunk” you let out a belly laugh as they drugged you inside.
“No who would of guessed” josh and Jake both laughed. They laid you on the couch as you talked pure nonsense to them. Jake handed you a water and demanded you drink it all. When you did he just filled it up again. Which angered you, but when you asked him why. He said “I am trying to sober you up so you won’t feel as bad in the morning” he flashed you a soft smile that made your heart melt. It was impossible to be angry after that, so you drank the water.
“Those were such interesting stories my love, but it’s bed time now” Jake said.
“No no I can’t- I can’t I have to- I have no- shower” they looked at each other confused. “You want to take a shower? Jake asked. “Yep” was all you responded with.
“You headed home?” Jake asked Josh as he walked you to the bathroom.
“Yeah you’ve got her” josh said. You broke into tears in jakes arms.
“Baby what’s wrong?” Jake asked you brushing your hair out of your face.
“Josh don’t leave” you cried drunken tears.
“I’ve got to darling. Lover boy is waiting on me. I’ll be back in the morning” josh told you.
“No no no tell him to stay Jake” you said as Jake carried you like a baby.
“He’ll be back in the morning. We’re gonna take a shower remember?” Jake said.
“Oop yeah … okay. Bye joshhhh” you laughed throwing your head back.
“Oop yeah? Interesting dialect” josh laughed at your antics. “Goodbye darling … call me if you need anything Jake”
~
“Is the water to hot?” Jake asked you. You shook your head no, and he helped you into the shower. Maybe it was the shampoo that was leaking on the shelf, or maybe it was josh leaving. Perhaps it was the music that was playing. You started feeling that crash. When the high starts to wear off. Your sorta sobering up and nothing makes sense. Yeah that’s the point your at right now.
You started to whine. Which was followed by “no tears my love. Everything’s okay I promise”. You sniffed, and looked at Jake. “Good job just like that” he comforted you. You had no problem telling him how much praise meant to you. Ever since that conversation he made sure to always give you what you needed. “Your doing so good baby. Just breath”.
“I am ?” You questioned.
“Yes angel your doing amazing. I am so proud of you. Just keep breathing just like that” he washed your hair. You did as you were told, and took some deep breaths. “Give me a few more okay?” You nodded you head, and breathed in and out. “Look at that I am so proud. You’re okay I promise”. He looked you in the eyes, and saw how you were struggling to hold back the tears.
“I know nothing really makes sense right now, but I need you to understand a few things” you nodded your head to show you understood. “You’re okay, your safe, and I am right here” you nodded again. “Do you understand?” Which was followed by a nod. “Words” Jake told you.
“Yes I understand” you said softly.
“Good girl” he pulled you into a hug.
You stayed like that for a while. Skin to skin. Safe in jakes arms. You’ve always thought your inner child picked him. A sense of peace comes over you when Jake steps in. He makes your heart safe. You know he won’t break it, and that’s a feeling most people won’t feel.
~
Jake got you dressed and walked you to the bedroom. “What do you wanna watch?” You cuddled up on his side ignoring the question. “Any suggestions? … no …. Okay then we’re watching this”.
“Nooooo I don’t wanna watch this” you complained.
“Well you didn’t tell me what you wanted. Let’s try again what do you wanna watch?” You shrugged your shoulders. “Use your words”
“Shameless” you said. Jake wasn’t the biggest fan of shameless but he would always watch it with you. Normally getting into the episodes then you’d ask “I thought you didn’t like this show?” Followed by a giggle from you. “Its interesting okay”
As you laid your head on his tummy he brushed through your hair with his fingers. Every time he gently scraped your scalp you could feel yourself falling. “Getting tired sweetheart?” You shook your head no, although you both knew the answer.
“Y/n?” He called out. You finally drifted to sleep on jakes tummy. He picked you up gently and laid you on your pillow. You stirred around letting out a whine. “Shh shh I am here right” he pulled you into his arms.
“Get some sleep darling” he placed a kiss to your forehead.
“Jake?” You asked in a whisper.
“Yes?” He asked.
“I love you” he said weakly drifting back to sleep.
“I love you too” he gave you another forehead kiss “and I always will”.
And just like that two souls intertwined with each other for a good nights rest.
#gvf#jake kiszka fluff#jake kiszka#jake kiska fic#jake kiszka imagine#greta van fleet#josh kiszka#josh kiszka fluff#josh kiszka imagine#gvf imagine#jake gvf#josh gvf#tooth rotting fluff#fluff
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The Tent Scene
knight Nikolai and knight reader au
if you know you know. if you don’t read this.
dear GOOOOD
So The Tent Scene.
Like, the night that Sir Nikolai screws your brain out for the first time.
You’ve been circling each other for WEEKS during this campaign. Little touches there, lots of lingering stares, the way he absolutely eye-fucks you when you walk out for training in the morning and you’re wearing your skin-tight gods-damned training pants and a long-sleeve? You aren’t wearing armor so he can see every inch of you?
Dear lord so.
One night things went a littttle too far. You’d been sitting next to him around the campfire a bit of a distance away from the other knights, everyone laughing and boozing it up, happy to have a night off for once, when you felt his pinkie graze your thigh.
Just barely.
But when you sucked in your breath he fucking noticed. That bastard smirked and didn’t even look at you before his hand moved further, palm resting on your upper thigh. Fingers tightening when your breathing increased and you turned your head a fraction towards him.
When someone asked a question he stopped instantly, and WHY IS HE SO CALM AND CASUAL LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED HUH? YOU CANT EVEN ANSWER BECAUSE YOUR HEART IS RACING AND YOUR SKIN IS HOT AND YOU JUST WANT HIM TO **** *** **** *** ** ***.
So that night you’re heading to your tent, moving inside when you hear footsteps and then he’s there, your Captain, raising his eyebrows at you. You don’t talk—you don’t have to. Wordlessly you let him inside, glancing around before closing the flap.
Now, knights of your status have large tents. Large enough to stand up in. (Imagine the Grisha tents from the show. Like Zoya’s? That’s what yours looks like because duh, youre second in command.)
But the moment the flap shuts he’s grabbing your face and kisses you like his life depends on it, earning an obscene noise from you. AND THEN he’s moving the both of you backwards until you reach your makeshift bed and pressing his entire body against yours aND— AND—
Oh my god you’ve never been fucked so good before.
Like before he even went inside you he’d gone down on you more than once. He’s a menace I swear to god. Sir Nikolai is a munch do NOT argue with me.
And afterwards you hear a voice clear outside the tent and you both jump; it’s Sir Dominik, the knight on watch, and he just speaks very tired words that make your face red but make Nikolai grin. Like, a wicked ass grin. He’s smug about it, Jesus Christ.
“Can you two keep it down please? I’m trying to keep us safe out here.”
HAHHA
#shadow and bone#nikolai lantsov#nikolai lantsov x reader#wattpad#nikolai x reader#shadow and bone imagine#fluff#knight nikolai lantsov#sir nikolai lantsov#knight nikolai
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Hii! I’m the same person who made the Octo König bot! And I made a Werewolf Soap one and Ik you write hybrid/monster stuff so I wanted to tell you and give you the link jus bc (the beginning kinda sucks but I tried)
https://beta.character.ai/chat?char=lnF2h05WoXP3FgAqyHKaRTK79CjX3imFteXbT532QIM
(U can ignore if ur not interested!)
<3
WEREWOLF SOAP WEREWOLF SOAP
oh my gooood this is god send THANK YOU SO MUCH
I need to write more werewolf soap, it's like a need atp ESPECIALLY since I saw an art of werewolf Soap and luberjack Price and jesus christ it did things to me
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Oh my gooood James somerton finally posted a response video and it's... Jesus. It's really not a good one.
Oh shit he's talking about epilepsy. [Squints] I'm not sure what he's talking about. His tone implies he's medicated so it's extremely unfair the way employers treat him but also but he also doesn't say that. I... Kind of think he may be leaving that out because medicated epilepsy really is... Not that big a deal tbh. Especially not in this content. I believe him about having memory issues but it's not relevant to his scripts when there's so much of it and another person going over scripts. In good faith I'm interpreting his long video as him trying to explain why this happened. Unfortunately the reality is that's not what people want from an apology video. You either need proof the accusations are lies, you need to apologize and nothing else, or you need to stick to your guns, refuse to acknowledge it and hang onto your remaining audience. Those are the only real ways to damage control the situation he's in. Morally it is unfair, IMHO, that certain parts even if the excuse is legitimately important- "at this point I did x bad thing with my content because my mother had just died and I was not handling it" is IMHO important context. Part of an explanation in an apology like this is trying to explain how this happened and why it won't again, why that context has changed.
A lot of what he's saying IS pleading for sympathy but to an extent I don't think that indicates poor character or insincerity; for his crime the complete destruction of his public and social life IS disproportionate. Like he deserves to get in trouble, but dogpiling to this extent is like. You know. It is the kind of stuff that pushes you to suicidal intent and I do fully believe he was.
It's a really bad video. He really needed a pr manager to write up the response here. This is going to be a disaster, every YouTuber commenter is going to be all over this like wolves. For that I pity him tbh
Jesus Christmas people actually showed up to his house. Good fucking lord.
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oh my god im SCARED okay im SCARED JESUS CHRIST OH MY GOOOOD okay nO AHHH—
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Is it just me or are ppl FINALLY starting to notice Air Marty a little more?
Now, I am not 100% certain if that's my job (if it is then FUCKIN GOOD!!), but I seem to find more lads who had/are enjoying the game for once and not just brush it off as a weirdass game that X Youtuber played and move on. And all I gotta say...
YEAAAAAAAAGH
OH MY FUCKIN GOOOOD LET'S GOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FINALLY!!
FUCKIN
FINALLYYYYY
IT'S BEEN 4 YEARS FOR GODS SAKE!!
FOUR. YEARS!!
AND I FINALLY GOT SOME ANSWERS TO MY PRAYERS RAAAH
THANKS, JESUS /REF /SILLY
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tti episode 6
“Last time on Total Takes Island, the campers had their survival skills put to the test in an overnight camping trip- and oh boy, did some of those campers trip hard! Ultimately, Kitty disappeared and the Inane Anons secured another victory, keeping the Fujoshis on their sharp losing streak. Ouch! Will the Flying Fujoshis finally win an episode? Will Julia finally snap and kill Max, or vice versa? Find out now on Total! Takes! Island!”
“Goooood morning, campers! Up bright and early, I hope!”
Bonnie looks up from where they were lying face-down on their pillow, their hair a matted mess. They sit up, stretch, and check the time on the tablet they’d snuck in- 5:03 AM.
“After that terrible camping trip, the least he could do is let us sleep!” Courtney sighs, hopping off of the top bunk. Ass rolls over in their bed and covers their ears. “Has anyone seen-?”
Mal pops into the cabin, holding a plate of actual food- sunny-side up eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee. Bonnie and Courtney stare at it like wild animals as Mal carries the tray over to Ass’ bunk. “Hey, got you some breakfast,”
Ass slightly pulls up their sleeping mask, looking over their shoulder- and then pulls it back down and turns to face the wall. Mal sighs and scrapes the food off in the garbage bin, much to Bonnie and Courtney’s dismay.
---
BONNIE: “I don’t know, nor do I care, what’s happening between those two, but wasting real food? I don’t care how sad you are, that’s a war crime,”
---
COURTNEY: “Mal seems… actually upset. I’m starting to wonder if maybe she has changed.”
---
Ass stands on one side of Bonnie as the team gathers outside the mess hall after breakfast, glaring sharply at Mal, who’s beginning to look a little nervous.
She turns to Sha-Mod and Caesar. “Hey, if it came down to it, I could count on your guys’ votes, right?”
Caesar raises an eyebrow and Sha-Mod’s Lightning picture flaps a little in the breeze. “What makes you ask?”
“Sigh… nothing… Just rumors…” She says as she walks off.
---
CAESAR: “Okay, first of all, she said “sigh” out loud. Second of all, if there’s a rumor abound that I didn’t start, I have to know what it is! If I had to guess, I’m gonna say Mal and her “friend” Ass had some kind of falling out. I’ll confirm with Bonnie later.”
---
The Anons seem to be a little less conflicted today as they lull around outside their cabin in relative silence. Michael leans against the splintery wooden railing of the stairs, watching Scary scamper under the porch with a rat in their teeth.
Max opens the screen door to the boys side and takes a seat on the step next to Michael. "H-"
"Gooood morning, bestie!" Julia grins, forcing herself between the two to give Michael a hug.
"Jesus, hi!" Michael laughs back. Julia looks over her shoulder to glare at Max.
---
JULIA: "So, right now, my only goal is keeping Michael on my side- which means not letting that little weasel get to her first. I'm already at a disadvantage, considering that they basically spent the entire camping challenge alone in the woods together doing God knows what, so I have to dedicate all my time today to keeping Michael close," she grins. "The devil works hard, but Julia works harder."
---
“Alright, campers. Today’s challenge is a fan favorite, and the contestant's worst nightmare!” Chris grins, holding out his arms for emphasis. “Your next challenge is the one, the only- Phobia Factor!”
Scruffy breathes in the gum they’d been chewing and coughs for a few moments. “What?! But we didn’t even talk about our fears last night?" They look around at the other campers. "Unless I didn’t get invited!”
“Silly, silly campers. Don’t you remember the online “"personality test”” you had to fill out in your audition form?” he laughs. “We have all of your worst fears on file! Except…”
Chris points up and then dramatically lowers his finger in Max’s direction. “Max left his blank. Probably a smart move, considering what we’re about to do to you,”
Everyone on the Anon’s team looks at Max, who shrugs. “I’m not afraid of anything,”
“Nothing?” Michael asks.
He shakes his head. “Nothing,”
“But, say, if there were a large bird of prey circling overhead right now…”
“Thank you, Scary,” he sighs. “But I’m not afraid of anything.”
“Don’t worry, Anons, we’ll get to Max eventually- but for our first victims: Scary, Caesar, Kelly, and Austin- you’ll be meeting Chef in makeup and hair,” he chuckles. “The rest of you, follow me!”
“Nervous?” Scruffy asks, looking at Michael and O beside them.
O nods rapidly, biting his nails. Michael rolls her eyes.
Caesar gives Bonnie a nervous look, to which they pat his back before he leaves. Austin and Kelly hold hands, and Scary slinks out undetected. The rest of the campers stand, following Chris to the mess hall. Michael, last of her team, is suddenly stopped by Chris, appearing out of nowhere. “Not so fast. You’ve been working real hard, haven’t you, Mikey?”
“Don’t call me that,”
“Chef has been especially impressed, so he made you this!” Chris pulls a tall glass containing a pink smoothie from behind his back.
Michael stares. “Is this a part of the challenge? I’ll pass,”
“How about this then: you drink it or you immediately lose the point!”
She sighs, taking the glass from Chris and inspecting it for a few moments before taking a hesitant sip. Nothing happens- no crushed up maggots, no sewer water, no shards of glass. “Hey, this isn’t half-”
Chris grabs the glass just in time for Michael to pass out on the ground. He chuckles and steps over her unconscious body to join the other campers outside as a few interns hurry over.
The rest of the contestants are standing outside the mess hall around a baby blue tent, waiting in vague confusion as Chris approaches.
“Bonnie, if you will,” Chris smiles, opening the blue tent flap. The contestant walks in, and sees nothing but a simple dentist’s chair. Bonnie smirks, and takes a seat. “The dentist’s? Really? How cliche,”
“Oh, no. That isn’t for dental care,” Chris smiles as metal fixtures clamp around Bonnie’s wrists and ankles, cuffing them to the chair. “This is our virtual reality tent. And this,” he holds up a headset, goggles and all. “Is the Dramathon 2000, where you’ll be exposed to the most popular and bland Total Drama fan opinions.”
Bonnie’s face pales. “What? No! You can’t do this!”
Chris puts the set over their face and grins. “Don’t worry, every few minutes you’ll get jumpscared with something new. To keep it fresh, you know? But if you wanna chicken out- just press that red button on your arm rest and lose a point for your team. Your five hours start now!”
The rest of the campers watch nervously as an intern presses a button on a remote and some cheery music begins playing. It’s all quiet for a moment, before a robotic voice says “Leshawna was robbed”. Bonnie screams.
Chris turns. “Alright- oh, and it looks like our made-over campers have returned!” The crowd turns and grimaces at the sight. Austin is dressed in a plain dark gray and white business suit, hair straightened and slicked back- Scary is in a tousled ombre blonde wig, high-rise jeans and a white crop top- Kelly’s tan has been removed and their hair dyed black- and Caesar looks practically gutted in a musty brown mullet wig.
“Austin, Kelly, your regular-Joe cubicles await you just beyond the mess hall. You have a lot of paperwork to get to, dudes. Scary, you can go ahead and start Instagramming now,” Chris chuckles, tossing them a phone. “And Caesar… man, that hair is terrible!”
Caesar whimpers and sulks into the virtual reality tent, closing the flap behind him and sitting in the corner while Bonnie screams.
“Alright then! Let’s see, who’s next…? Julia, care to test your wits?”
Julia smiles and shrugs. “Bring it on, McLean,”
“Loving the attitude! Now, on your personality test, you wrote “not slaying” in the fear category,” she smirks in response. “Well, we made a few calls back home, and your folks had a different story to tell! Chef?”
Chef walks over and hands Julia a wooden sword. She scoffs. “Ha-ha. Taking things a little literally, huh?”
“Not really,” he chuckles as Chef leads her around the corner to a large pen. “Your goal is to defend yourself from these lovely geese for as long as you can.”
Julia’s eyes widen and she looks around before trying to turn and run. Chef grabs her and tosses her in the corral, surrounded by a dozen full-grown geese. She whimpers and trembles, clutching the sword to her chest. Max rolls his eyes as Chris pulls out his megaphone.
“You’ll notice that there’s an exit across the pen. Make it out, and you’ll score your team a point!”
Julia shakes her head violently.
“Come on, Julia!” the team shouts. “You can do this!”
“IT’S JUST A BUNCH OF DUCKS!” Max yells, cupping his face.
"Geese!" Julia corrects him.
She then frowns, takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, holding the sword out blindly in front of her as she stands and runs through the paddock. Not a single goose even looks at her as she screams the entire way through, slamming into the gate and collapsing before getting up and crawling out.
“That’s one point for the Anons!”
The team cheers as Julia is lifted up by Chef and taken to the medical tent. “Alright, who’s next… Ass, come up here, please!”
Ass sighs and steps forward. They don’t exactly look terrified, but they’re certainly not happy, either. A handsome gentleman in a finely pressed suit walks out of the mess hall and stands beside them.
“Ass, this is your fiance, Kevin,”
Ass sulks and rolls their eyes.
---
ASS: “For as long as I can remember, I’ve had the same recurring nightmare. In it, I’m an adult, and I’m engaged to this perfect dream guy- he’s everything I want in a partner: tall, funny, and sweet. But then this mystery femme fatale who I have drama with for whatever reason swoops in and kisses him to get back at me for… something. I’ve had this dream so many times, it really isn’t even scary anymore, it’s just absurd. I mean, how would that even happen in real life?”
---
Ass pretends to look nervous and takes a phony deep breath. Mal starts to approach to say something, but McLovin barrels through and stands beside them instead, offering support. Courtney gives a nod of approval as Ass gives McLovin an odd- then somewhat grateful glance.
An attractive young woman in a pink wig comes out of the mess hall next with an angry glare. “I hate you!” she yells at Ass before swooping in and kissing Kevin. Ass watches apathetically.
“And that’s one point for the Fujoshis!” Chris grins. “Let’s break for lunch, shall we?”
---
“So, who do we have left?” Max asks, once again refusing to touch his meal (today it’s brown goo).
“Frollo just left, but O hasn’t gone yet,” Julia says weakly. There’s a large bandage around her torso. “Neither has Scruffy, Staci, or Michael.”
“Hm. Where is Michael?”
---
A bird of prey cries overhead as Michael sits up on a patch of grass, groaning. Her face is a sickly shade of green as she adjusts to her surroundings, and she notices a little gray box adorned with a red button at her feet, a sticky note attached to it.
“Dear Michael. Feel free to chicken out with the callback button any time. Love, Chris,” she reads before she suddenly turns pale and runs over to a cliff edge to throw up. As she looks up, she notices she’s still on the Island- but with no one in sight.
“Hello?”
No response.
“Very funny, Chris, guys- where are you hiding?”
She peers in the mess hall, the cabins, even the confessional- no one. A look of panic begins to cross Michael’s face. “Oh, God. They left me here. I’m stuck on the island,”
---
A sudden, loud siren sounds over the intercom system and everyone jumps. A loud voice spoken over a megaphone follows:
“Reuban Fogell, you are under arrest. We have you surrounded!”
Courtney raises an eyebrow. “Who the hell is Reuban Fogell?”
Everyone in the mess hall turns to McLovin as he suddenly rises, standing on the bench with a look of cold determination on his face.
“Resisting is pointless! Come out with your hands up!”
McLovin takes off his usual glasses and puts on a pair of prescription sunglasses before he slowly walks to the door of the mess hall, stepping outside with his hands held high in the air. The rest of the campers crowd around the window, watching as Chef (dressed as a prison warden) handcuffs him and drags him away as he nods.
Chris steps into view, holding a megaphone. “Impressive. Didn’t even throw up or anything. That’s two points for the Fujoshis!”
---
MCLOVIN: “Yeah, I lied on my personality test. I’m not scared of pigs. Why? Cause I’m gangsta, suckas!” he flips his sunglasses back on and attempts to lean back before falling into the confessional toilet.
---
“I cannot believe this,” Julia mutters.
The Fujoshis looks at each other before cheering and high-fiving. Chris steps inside a moment later, holding a large black box which he drops on the floor with a thump.
“Sha-Mod, care to join the winning members of your team?”
The Fujoshis part like the Red Sea and reveal a slightly-trembling Sha-Mod, clutching onto his Lightning picture. The box is a paper shredder.
---
SHA-MOD: “I’ll be Sha-Real with you all back home for a second. I’m not on the island for money, or to make friends, or to have a fun time. I’m here because I accidentally entered a contest at the White Oaks Mall in London, Ontario. I thought the prize was a lifetime of free soft pretzels. Turns out the prize was an audition-free entry to this show, which I never even Sha-Heard of until I realized I signed a contract for it! I watched one season, the toxic one.”
---
“Ready to show the world the real you, buddy?” Chris chuckles. Sha-Mod violently shakes his head.
“It’s just a picture,” Ass says, rolling their eyes.
"You can do it, Sha-Mod!" Courtney smiles encouragingly.
“Nuh-uh. This thing is not going sha-anywhere,”
“You sure about that?” Chris smiles.
“Sha-sure- I mean, yes,”
Chris shrugs, and a few interns run in and hoist away the paper shredder. The Fujoshis groan.
---
SHA-MOD: “I may have lost the point but I kept something more important: my Sha-Anonymity.”
---
Austin walks into the mess hall, wearing his regular uncoordinated clothes again, his hair wet. Chris chuckles. “Failed, I presume?”
Austin sulks. “I jumped in the lake, baby. I couldn’t do it- I couldn’t be a square,”
Max smacks his forehead and Julia sighs.
“Well, anyway- Scruffy- Bonnie’s time is about up, which means you’re set for your turn in the Dramathon 2000! And Staci- or should I say Alex- you’re going to meet Chef in the kitchen for a fun little talk.”
Scruffy swallows a lump in their throat and walks outside the mess hall as a nervous Staci heads in the opposite direction.
“Mal, Courtney- I’ll see you two and the rest of your team in the cabin area,” Chris grins. “We have a special surprise for you.”
---
The sun beats down over the empty island as Michael digs through the kitchen pantry, finding it completely empty aside from an old can of tuna. She sighs and rubs her eyes, and then walks back outside the mess hall.
She walks over to the cabins, which look as if a tornado had gone through them, and pulls a plank of wood off the stairs, carrying it over to the beach where a loosely constructed raft is half-way done.
---
MICHAEL: “I didn’t come to this show to win. I don’t even want to win, honestly. I joined because I was hoping I’d get to meet more people who’d see me as something more than just “one of the guys”. This has to be some kind of divine punishment- I was unhappy with my current friends, so everyone left.”
----
Chef presses the red button on the Dramathon chair and releases Bonnie from their restraints, to which they immediately tear off the virtual reality machine and toss it across the tent, their eyes red and pupils extremely dilated.
(three points for the Fujoshis)
“Chris wants everyone out by the cabins,” Chef says. Caesar stands from his corner and helps Bonnie out of the chair and outside the tent, shielding their eyes from the sun.
“Caesar- is that you?” they mutter, shaking slightly as their pupils dart around.
“I’m here, doll. Can you see?”
“No- my eyes are fried,”
“Oh, thank God,” Caesar breathes a sigh of relief. “This haircut is terrible.”
Scruffy watches the two in terror, and steps inside. Though they look terribly nervous, they take a seat without complaint anyway, allowing Chef to set up the Dramathon 2000.
“Did… Chris say what this was going to be?” they ask in a quiet voice.
“Just a history lecture,”
Scruffy sighs and relaxes a little.
“An American history lecture,”
“Wh-what?” Scruffy asks. “No- you can’t make me! I can’t listen to the preamble again! NOOOOOO!”
“Yeah, whatever,” Chef shakes his head, muttering “Americans” to himself before throwing on a cardigan and a pair of reading glasses. “Sit tight, I gotta session to get to.”
---
Staci lies on a couch set up in the kitchen, jittery and nervous. Chef takes a seat in a plush chair across from them, clearing his throat as he pulls out a notepad and flips through it.
They stare in terror as he slowly flips through the pages, adjusts and readjusts his glasses, and licks his lips. “So-”
“NOOOOOOOO!” Staci screams, jumping up and dashing out.
---
MICHAEL: “Is it a problem that I need to be surrounded with people all the time?! Maybe! Maybe! But this is different! They left me here to die! I can’t die here! I can’t die on this [censored] island! Just when people were starting to like me!”
---
“O, my dude, your services are needed out here!” Chris shouts into his megaphone with a voice that clearly reads as him holding back laughter.
O, shaking like a leaf, stands from the mess hall table. Julia, Max, Staci, and Austin give each other glances as he leaves, and then upon hearing a shrill, terrified shriek, stand from their seats and hurry outside.
Chris is holding back tears as O rocks back and forth on the ground, eyes wide and terrified. The team looks around, but no one sees anything. “What’s the dealio, baby?”
“Ok, ok, you dudes gotta see this- watch,” Chris squeaks, tears running down his face. He pulls a thin paper mask out from behind his back and holds it up. It’s no monster, no ghost, no tattered, bloody decapitated head- it’s actually a blond with a cowboy hat.
“Oh. My. God,” Max stifles a laugh.
“Is that… Geoff?” Staci asks hesitantly.
Austin looks between the two as they giggle. “What? Who?”
Chris holds the mask over his face and O screams in terror, earning another round of laughter from the group.
“It’s not funny!” O insists, glaring at them before Chris puts the mask in front of his face again. O shrieks.
---
O: “Yes, okay, I admit it! I only came onto this show for exposure therapy purposes because of my irrational “phobia” of- of… G-E-O-F-F.”
---
“Alright, alright,” Chris chuckles. “Anyone wanna take over? I have a boxing match to get to.”
Julia raises her hand, and Chris tosses her the mask. “Oh, and once Scary is done being normal in fifteen minutes, let her have a turn, too!”
---
A massive boxing ring has been set up between the two cabins, and a confused crowd of campers surrounds it.
“Who’s afraid of a little scuff, baby?” Austin asks, looking around. Kelly stands beside him, reapplying fake tan after having completed her challenge while Scary chases around O in the Geoff mask behind them. (three points for the Anons)
“Do you have any idea what’s going on?” Caesar asks, attempting to mousse up his normal hair again, finished with his torture, too (four points for the Fujoshis). Bonnie blinks one eye, then the other, and then collapses on the ground.
“This is dumb,” Ass sighs. “Let’s get this thing started already, McLean! I’m hungry!”
Chris steps out onto the ring, dressed in a tux and holding a microphone. “Welcome, campers, to a personal favorite of mine: fear-themed boxing! In one corner, we have the lovely, half-metal Courtney! And in the other, we have the possibly lovely, blog-obsessed Mal! Or should I say Lucy?” He chuckles.
The campers murmur amongst themselves as Mal’s eyes widen.
“Now, both of these campers had a lot to say when answering our personality test questions, so I’m sure they won’t mind sharing that with you while they settle their differences like men!” Chris shouts into the mic. “Chef, if you please?”
Chef steps out in a sparkling blue dress, holding two separate diaries.
The crowd murmurs, deeply unsettled. A few interns walk in, pushing a wheelbarrow as the campers talk amongst themselves, and they dump Michael on the ground. Julia helps her up.
“How’d it go?”
“Not well. I was halfway between deciding whether I wanted to try to get off the island or kill myself when I remembered I could just quit,”
Max shrugs. “Well, glad you didn't kill yourself. We might actually have a shot at winning this thing,”
Michael looks at him, then to the ring as the match begins. Courtney and Mal glare at each other, throwing a few punches as Chef reads.
“Dear Diary, today, Lucy-slash-Mal threw the dodgeball challenge by using our weakest players to her scummy advantage,” Chef reads in a cold, monotone voice. Caesar raises an eyebrow, and McLovin and Sha-Mod look at each other. “I have a feeling she’s trying to get us to lose so she can weaken the team and vote me out.”
Chef switches to the other diary. “Hey gurlz. I’m back from the dead again. Laughing GIF. Clapping GIF. Today I managed to convince the idiots on my team to vote out Patrick instead of me. I have pompadour and paper bag face on my side, and Noah 2 is totally wrapped around my finger. LOL! Smirking GIF.”
Max crosses his arms, rubbing his chin with a thoughtful expression and Julia gives the Fujoshis a perplexed look.
The Fujoshis, on the other hand, look outright furious. Sha-Mod, Ass, and Caesar all glance at each other. Mal throws another punch, narrowly missing Courtney.
“FINE! I admit it! I’ve been playing the game just like everyone loves to see it played!” She yells, dodging Courtney’s glove. “So, I’m a new Heather! Sue me! You all need me, anyway! This show is nothing without me!”
Chris smiles, standing alongside Chef as the display unravels.
“Who’s going to help you? THEM?” Mal shouts, hitting Courtney in the gut. They wheeze and fall over. “Courtney barely has a thousand followers on their shitty blog, let alone 10k! I have 22 thousand watchers on Deviantart! My fics make AO3!” she swings again. “Courtney is “nice” but at least!” she throws a punch once more. “I’m!” Courtney ducks and rolls. “POPULAR!”
Courtney body slams Mal, sending her to the ground with a dull thud. Chef counts down the seconds and then blows on his ref whistle, declaring her OUT!
The Fujoshis cheer, surrounding Courtney and hoisting her in the air.
“Yeah, that’s great and all, but only Mal spoke her truth, so… you’re only getting one point for that,” Chris chuckles. The Fujoshis stare in silence, unanimously shrug, and then go back to cheering.
(five points for the Fujoshis)
Scruffy walks up, looking much less disturbed than Bonnie. “Hey, what’s going on?”
“Boxing match. How’d it go with you?” Staci asks.
“Eh, I fell asleep,” Scruffy looks over their shoulder and watches O crawling on all fours to avoid Scary with a grimace. "I see we're not doing too well."
"That's five points for you Anons," Chris says, popping up out of nowhere.
Max counts on his fingers silently. “We’re tied,”
“Very observant!” Chris smiles. “Your tiebreaker lies on the only member of your team who hasn’t faced their fear yet.”
Max nods knowingly. “Frollo,”
“Nah, he did just fine,”
---
Frollo leans against the glitter-covered bar in a gay club, lights flashing and streamers flying as he flips through his Bible.
---
“I was talking about you, kid,” Chris smiles. “You may have left our application blank, but your college admission essay says a lot about you.”
Max turns white and freezes.
“Wait, college essay?” Julia asks, turning to him with her hands on her hips. “How old are you?”
“Eighteen in August,” Chris answers, matter-of-factly. "Probably shouldn't have chosen child psychology as a topic for your essay, bud."
“God, I would’ve guessed, like, twelve or something,”
Max shakes his head, ignoring Julia’s quip as Chris grins wickedly.
“Hey, man, it’s easy. Probably the least painful challenge today,” the host says. “We just need you to walk from this end of the cabins to the other holding Chef’s hand,” Chef approaches, wearing a dress and a brown wig. “...While he’s dressed as your mother.”
A brief silence falls over the Anons, followed by a round of barely-restrained laughter. Max turns red. “IT’S NOT FUNNY!”
---
Max stares into the confessional camera for a moment with an aggravated look. He keeps perfectly still for a few moments before pointing and shouting.
MAX: “I DO NOT HAVE ISSUES WITH MY MOTHER!”
---
The Anons watch on in silence as Max inches forward, his feet scraping against the grass as he drags each shoe in front of the other. Chef grins and holds out a hand, to which Max stares at for a few moments.
Julia smirks, crossing her arms over her chest. Michael looks between the two with a nervous expression on her face.
---
MICHAEL: “It's not that I wanted to help him, I just remember feeling really bad. I guess I’d just been abandoned on a replica of the island for hours and I was pretty emotionally raw, but… I know what it’s like to feel alone like that.”
---
“Wait!” Michael says, stepping out in front of a very disgruntled Julia. “I’ll go too!”
“You know it’s only one point per challenge, right?” Chris asks, raising an eyebrow.
“I know,” she circles around to Chef’s free hand and takes it, attempting to give Max a reassuring smile.
He sighs in defeat and holds the other hand. “For the record, I’m not doing this because you’re helping me. I don't need help. This is for the game,”
“What makes you think I’m doing it for you?”
Max shrugs and Chef rolls his eyes before starting off, practically dragging the two behind him as he speed-walks over to the other side of the cabins.
---
CHEF: “What? I had a long day!”
---
As soon as they reach the other side, Max wheezes and collapses on the ground.
(six points)
“And that’s your winning point, Anons! Safe for another day,” Chris grins, tossing away the microphone and tearing off his suit to reveal his usual clothes underneath. He walks over to where Max is huddled on the ground. “You might wanna take some alone time to wash that shame off, bud.”
---
JULIA: "Well, that went poorly. But in my defense, those geese really threw me off!"
---
“Fujoshis- you lived, you laughed, you loved, and you even lost! But only one of you is going home tonight.
McLovin- Bonnie- Caesar- and Ass- you’re all safe. Courtney- you saved your dignity, but you failed to own up to your truth and cost your team a point. Mal- you scored, but you also showed your true colors and turned everyone against you- and Sha-Mod- you just plain failed, dude,” Chris chuckles. The three give each other nervous glances (even the Lightning picture quivers a bit in the breeze) as Chris continues.
“Courtney… you’re safe,”
Courtney breathes a sigh of relief and catches her marshmallow.
“And, finally…
The remaining marshmallow…
Goes to…
Our remaining camper…”
“JUST GET ON WITH IT!” Ass snaps.
“Yeesh, dude. Just trying to create some suspense. Sha-Mod! You’re safe,”
Mal stands, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. She marches over to Ass, shoving McLovin out of the way when he tries to stand between the two, and lunges. Chef grabs her just in time and hoists her over his shoulder.
“YOU THINK THIS IS IT?! THIS ISN’T IT! THIS ISN’T OVER! I’M GONNA…” her voice fades as they go further and further down the docks. The Fujoshis stare at each other.
“Did anyone get that?” Courtney asks. McLovin and Ass shrug.
“Who will scream indistinctly next time? And who will stay to play another day? Find out next time, on Total! Takes! Island!”
---
ASS: "I guess I should've seen it coming. You know me- can't have one normal friend without something ridiculous happening. I still have some hope that I'll find someone on the island who isn't a total psychopath. But, hey... maybe I already have.
---
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OOOH MY GOD OH MY GOOOOD OH MY GOD ‼️‼️‼️
ok im normal now, your new wip is fantastic oh my GOD im biting and growling and scratching at the walls jesus h CHRIST
IM GLAD U LIKE IM OBSESSED AND NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE??? ive had a couple of you tell me youre down which is wicked but most people arent super into it!! so im glad that you do :D
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Ember hangs out with the boys!
Ember is truly just happy to be here.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Dude, you are so trash!”
It was approximately two in the morning, and if there is one thing that college boys don’t have, it’s a good sleep schedule.
Currently, Jamie and Caleb were sitting on the couch playing video games while Jesus sat next to them eating chips. Ember was sitting on top of the coffee table watching the bright and colorful TV screen flash with things she couldn’t even comprehend. Other than the occasional you’re trash! or oh my gooood! the boys were quiet, too concentrated on the game to notice anything.
After a while of watching the screen in a trance-like state, Ember’s head began to pound from the amount of flashes, colors, and lights on the screen. To remedy this, she maneuvered her body to face the wall to her right. It was then that she realized how at peace she felt in the moment. She closed her eyes and simply listened to the sounds of her environment. She heard the clicking and clacking of the boys’ controllers, the sound of Jesus chewing his potato chips, the faint sound of crickets outside nearby, she felt so at peace just soaking in the sounds of the people who, for the first time in who knows how long, made her feel truly safe. She slowly inhaled a deep breath, and let it escape her at its own pace.
“Yo, Ember, you meditating or something?” Jesus asked, breaking her out of her little world.
She looked at him curiously, “What does that mean?”
“It’s what you were doing just now,” Jamie suddenly said, his gaze still fixed on the screen.
“I guess you could say that I was then,” Ember replied.
She glanced back at the TV screen to see, in big red letters, the words, ‘YOU LOST’ plastered across the screen.
“That’s it, I’m done with this shit,” Caleb stood up, tossed his controller on the couch behind him, and walked briskly out of the common area, mumbling angrily as he went.
At this display, Jamie let out a deep and tired sigh. He turned to Jesus, “have you done the stats homework yet?”
“There was homework?” Jesus replied with a mischievous smile, earning another deep sigh from Jamie.
Ember smiled fondly at them. She was just happy to be there.
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I got tagged by my favorite pookie @nightcolorz 🫶🏼 in one of those sharing a snippet of what you’re working on posts and yk what this is the perfect opportunity to force people to look at my 70s slasher au for tvc <3
“Gooood Morning to the city that never sleeps! This is Benji on WJKR, giving you all the best tunes from the heart of New York City. Today’s date is August twenty-third, the day of the week is Friday and the time is six o-clock AM, New York time, no idea why any of ya would be up this early and listening in but then again hey, I’m up." The voice followed by the laugh of the radio station host crackled through the speakers of the decade old van. It's a miracle the thing is still running.
“I’ve got some sweet rock n’ roll ready to wake all you listeners up, starting with a song by a band I know will end up being a classic, here’s D’yer Mak’er” as the radio host’s voice cut out, the beginnings of D’yer Mak’er by Led Zeppelin began to play.
“OH! Daniel! Turn that up! Turn that up!!” excitedly shouted one of the two men who were sat up in the back, immediately leaning forward and over the center console, reaching out to the radio and turning the volume dial up, causing the person in the passenger seat to flinch and cover his ears.
“Jesus–! Lestat! Sit the hell back down!” Daniel, the driver and owner of the van, somewhat shouted back as he glanced over at Lestat for a second then shifted his eyes back to the road as he swatted at the other man.
Lestat huffed and sat back, his arms crossing over his chest as he turned his head to look out the window with a slight pout but hummed along to the song regardless of his adult tantrum.
Daniel took a quick glance over at the person in the passenger seat and, upon noticing him sitting with his hands over his ears, he was quick to turn the music back down (which caused Lestat to huff again).
“You doing ok, Boss?” He questioned, glancing over at Armand in the passenger seat who just nodded in response to his question.
“Music’s just too loud..” Armand mumbled which made Lestat roll his eyes and mumble a few words of his own about how he doesn’t understand why they only ever listen to what makes Armand comfortable and how he shouldn’t even have come on the trip.
“I didn’t even want to go on this trip. You forced me.” Armand remarked in response to Lestat’s mumblings that he very much heard, his voice was monotone but it also held a hint of irritation.
Taggiiiiing: @you-get-me-closer-to-god :P
#tvc slasher au#70s slasher au#the slasher chronicles au#tvc#interview with the vampire#the vampire chronicles#iwtv#qotd#queen of the damned#the vampire armand#vampire chronicles#tagging game
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Good Omens s2 e2 thoughts
Buddy Holly's everyday was in the end credits. Again!
And it was diegetically in the actual show!! very much there!!! I am taking this song personally, it has been my number one hopeful lovesong ever since I watcher The Big Fish as a teen. And here it is, in my good omens. I can’t believe it. Too good to be true.
I am so far completely in love with the new season. It sits perfectly in the tone with the first one. AND azi and crowley get so much space!!
It’s all the stuff we’ve explored in the fanfics, all the stuff that used to be so deliciously missing, now given a whole new interpretation. A canon one, I suppose. THough I’m so fond of all the ways we’ve done them in fics.
THE FIRST TEMPTATION!! Oh my gooood we got to see the first temptation???? Crowley was so so so smug holding that plate for Azi. And gentle.
And especially so gentle at the end, offering comfort to azi when he needed it.
“What am I” god this is such a queer show. And crowley is the older queer showing Azi the way.
I am just having so good time watching this. These are my characters, I know them so well, and they are being completely themselves on screen. All the silly bits! The fight about the car! Our car? Our bookshop? Oh sweet jesus I love it when they are bickering.
Oh Azi, the moment when he chose to lie.
Other bits: JANE AUSTEN??!! That is such a fanfic beat for me, and there is was in the show??! Talked about and quoted??
Loved it that Crowley and Nina met briefly. They are the same.
Jon Hamm continues to be so delightful as Jim.
And yeah the whole Job plotline, loved it. true good omens style both series and very silly at the same time. Azi was doing proper angelic miracle in the beginning! Gosh I love that there is more of the throughout-the-ages stuff, I mean isn’t it generally regarded to be the best bit of s1?
this episode explored azi’s origin story, I hope we get a more crowley centric stuff in the next eps. Feels like Azi has been a bit more the pov character.
I was so nervous starting to watch s2 but now it feels so nice. I’m so happy.
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GHOST omg so i was hanging out with my friend and he was looking at this tiktok titled ‘spiritual beef i have with celebrities and why’ and LOOK HOW BAD THEY DID JOE QUINN
OH MY GOOOOD not the eyes comment 😭😭😭 they did my man so fucking dirty jesus christ
to be fair though i also have spiritual beef with him so i get it
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