#ok ok i hush now

[tactax-art]

Hey, just found your mwii monster au and wanted to say that its really cool! Quick question tho, is Soap like an actual god or just a really stronk monster? If he is an actual god, was he born like that or did he inherit/grow into it?

Oh god (hah) ok I guess it's time to try and pin down godhood/divinity for this verse, huh? Been meaning to make notes. Definitely not just 'stong monster'.

Sorry but you'll never get a 'quick' answer from me when I could be worldbuilding, lol. This is barebones and subject to change, mebbe.

A mortal (ie. not godly) is only one thing. They're a human. They're a werewolf. They're a human-werewolf-hybrid but that's still just one being. When they die they're dead (or possibly undead, but that's still being one thing at a time).

They need to eat, to hunt, to rest, to replenish in a way that is a conscious effort.

Gods are born as mortals to mortal parents (if applicable), but attached to them is the divine element that they are the god of. They're a mortal but also that element, both avatar and embodiment. Ageing is a tricky thing, on average a god's mortal form will develop to maturity at a regular pace and remain at that point. (I should mention that gods aren't always born to sapient species.)

Their divinity/godhood on the other hand is ever growing and maturing, eventually shedding their mortal form (and later self) after which their element soon (relative) consumes them. That is when a god dies, and a new one is born, and the cycle begins again. The speed at which the cycle moves really depends on the individual cycle's god, their species, their circumstances and element.

In a way you can see a divine element as a parasite that attaches at birth to a host and sustains and consumes them over a span of decades to millenia. There is no way to predict, invite, stop or avert this, in fact you shouldn't even try. Without the divine element the thing itself would cease existing. The divine element also feeds the mortal form purely by it's element existing, as such a god doesn't need to eat or rest (but they can, if they so choose so), and it's very very hard to kill their mortal form. Depending on what stage they're at it's likely possible they can re-form from their element alone, even if their mortal form was completely destroyed. (Otherwise it's likely they move on to late stage godhood.) its impossible to injure a god with something associated to their element. (ie explosions = bullets, shrapnel, fire, heavy impact/shockwave, etc)

Soap being a god of explosions for example, is in the 'juvenile' stages of godhood (this does not influence his maturity as a human in any way). He's figured out manmade explosions/explosives, and the wonders of flammable gasses, and making anything explode that shouldn't/making things not-explode that should. But guys, guys, he hasn't even grocked yet that the two biggest natural sources of explosions are volcanic and stellar, as in solar flares and supernovas. (His endstage of godhood would probably be stuff like colliding black holes and just generally stretching too thin through the universe and completely losing any sense of self/personhood and eventually fading into nothing. But that's gonna be a long as while dw.)

#haven't gone into the social stuff but #short: gods usually stick with gods #also i dont think prayers/worship do anything??? #i mean itd be funky if they do but it wouldnt change anything for them #also you just know that god-killing weapons were invented several times #no bueno #ok ok i hush now #ask more questions if you wanna know more things #also i'll eventually figure out the others #tactax mwii creatures au #tactaxtalks #tactax EoE spoilers

[aquatik]

amor ; sae itoshi 𓆝

synopsis from the marine lover -> small thought i had in class and had to write it out

phylum cnidaria -> blue lock

characters -> sae itoshi x reader

water levels -> all good! highly recommend you listen to the song, and yes i did edit this format hehe, i’ll prolly play around with it a little more later. translation at the bottom.

“my boyfriend probably prefer to be with someone else,” you said?

sae listening to “amor,” every night before going to sleep without fail, thinking about you especially at the 1:32 mark, “amor, amor, amor, amor, yo quiero estar a tu lado, eres mi mejor regalo, no hay otra que yo prefiera.” when he’s away from you because of an abroad practice, game, tournament, or whatever else stops him from being with you itoshi.

that’s your boyfriend.

glass bottle message -> here’s the translation: “my love, my love, my love, i want to be by your side, you’re my best gift, there’s no one else i would rather.”

requests are open, but do check the rules :)

#i’m so infatuated with sae and i haven’t even gotten to u-20 bro #anyways sae and spanish >>>>>> #i have so many other songs i could place him with BRO #teehee this is me writing for blue lock now ig 💆 #uhh request something if you want but give me some time bc i got testing 😭 #blue lock x reader #blue lock x y/n #sae x reader #sae x you #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #ok i’m putting this at the bottom so kat can’t see #kat shut up 💀💀 #you have no right to say anything #hush <3 #live laugh sae i love him #bro if kat finds something out she’s gonna bully me but it’s ok i have leverage 👩‍💻 #i might add pretty banners later idk kat picked no but i’ll see 🤭

[georgieluz]

– did you love me when he was just my friend?

papa i don't need a preacher / i ain't some kind of creature / from some old double feature / i just wanna make you proud / of the kind of love i've found / but you say it ain't allowed / say it's a sin / but it's how i've always been / did you love me when he was just my friend? / daddy, do you think i've turned out right?

george luz, son of a small town preacher, grew up hearing that all love is heaven sent, that it's holy and true in all its forms. it was told to him every night before he closed his eyes and by the time he reaches adulthood, it's a core part of his nature. love is good. welcomed and encouraged. he sees it in the way his father glances at his mother, sat next to him in the second pew, before he begins every sermon, and he sees it in the quiet support she always gives back. he feels it every day when his dog licks at the palm of his hand whilst he sits restlessly on the front porch, wondering if there's something more out there than this one small town.

love is good. welcomed. encouraged. he meets the new hire at foxtail creek, a small ranch about a mile outside the town border, in the summer. the newcomer mostly keeps to himself, a rancher looking for temporary work. george can't help but be intrigued by the first outsider he's met in months and takes it upon himself to befriend the man. he'd always been good at making friends, most just pass through, or eventually move away, but george had always been content with the fact that his self-proclaimed wit and charm managed to win them over for however long they gave him. slowly, as he and the rancher become more and more intwined, george begins to realise that, in his neck of the woods, not all love is sent from above, at least not in the eyes of his friends and family.

– playlist for fic: heaven sent

– cowboy collab: #easy company cowboys

#george luz #band of brothers #bobcollab #cowboy collab #easy ranch #easy company cowboys #george luz son of a preacher man au #julian made a thing #julian writes #this song lives in my fucking chest ok i had to write something for it and george my guy you are the chosen one #“daddy you're the one that claimed that he loved me through the flame now why can't you do the same?” #<<< THIS LINE GOT ME SO FUCKED UP ISTG #and yes the rancher is someone familiar to us but i shall keep their identity hush hush for now #i'm too sleepy rn to write a better summary #so this is all over the place but it's gonna be a fun one (and ofc by fun i mean like a knife to the chest)

[faebriel]

and you caused it (a fic scrapbook)

a collection of written scenes, outlining, notes and art as a sequel to my fic cause most of us are bitter over someone.

In which Niki has a terrible secret, Puffy just wants to move on, Tommy sneaks into casino parties and Wilbur learns to deal with anger being justified. Or - the one thing they don’t warn you of, when dropping nuclear warheads on old friends, is fallout.

31.2k words of angst, hurt/comfort, niki struggling through a self-imposed redemption arc, wilbur and niki fighting through the worst argument they've had possibly ever, techno and niki having their worst argument ever, tommy acting as the server's cassandra, and pandora's box being opened. niki-centric, with a heavy dash of rainduo - although techno, tommy and puffy also have their moments in the spotlight.

oh, and a happy ending. eventually.

chapter 1 - is bitter there?

wilbur does his very best to be a good friend. niki continues to have issues with making apologies. a casino opening party is attended, and a few well-kept secrets find their way into the light.

chapter 2 - at least i have nothing

arguments are had. roommates are invited to crash on an attempted murderer’s metaphorical couch. more emotionally intense conversations are had over l'manberg’s skeleton corpse, and niki is once again alone.

chapter 3 - sugar, milk and molasses

a prisoner goes free, niki and tommy try (and miserably fail) to get along, and some breaking and entering is committed. just out of curiosity, y'know.

chapter 4 - everyone there is, all together now

three important conversations are had, and niki comes home.

chapter 5 - but i'm forever missing him

resolutions are made on phil’s verandah, wilbur finally understands how horrible it would be to die in a ravine underground, and once-old friends are made new again. niki, again, finds herself baking a cake.

#dsmp #dsmp fanfic #nihachu #niki nihachu #wilbur soot #rainduo #idk whether to tag other characters in a tumblr post v in ao3...but know techno and tommy feature big here too #anyway!! wanted to put together a landing page for this fic. thank you for the love on chapter 5 it means a lot to me <3 #my fics #OH and the chapter titles. kind of a last min addition :] #1. someone is crazy (jonathon coulton) 2. at least i have nothing (saint motel) 3. molasses (the hush sound) #4. all together now (ok go) 5. youth (daughter :]) #and you caused it tag

[silvermizuki]

So uh. Copy and save your files to your actual hard drive before you delete things off onedrive.

#I’m going to lose it #onedrive keeps screaming at me that the storage is full #so I was like ok fine #it’s not going to remove files off my ACTUAL computer #it deleted all my csp brushes #ALL OF THEM #it could be worse but dude #I was deleting photos too #fuck onedrive all my homies hate onedrive #worst thing Microsoft has created #hush silv #sigh #now to hunt down all the brushes I had downloaded #hopefully it didn’t fuck anything else up

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

3.7 TCG CARD LEAKS BELOW

so i was looking at the upcoming cards and

THAT’S THAT’S FOUL LEGACY BEHIND HIM. CHILDE CARD HAS FOUL LEGACY OHHHHH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST TCG UPDATE EVER I AM INVITING HIM TO PLAY CARDS THE MINUTE 3.7 COMES OUT

#hush n shush wifi #genshin leaks #FOUL LEGACY ON A TCG CARD THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER #yes i know it's technically not his own card BUT IT IS IN MY HEART OK #THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST WE'LL GET SO I'LL TAKE IT #i am so excited to see its animated form....... #Foul Legacy in TCG style...... ghghfgfgdughdsfskjdakjdn (me falling on the floor) #both of them in one card YES #*points at the one in the back* that one #that's the one i want #anyways haha hi #it's the weekend now thank GOD #i need to rest from this week good lord #how is everyone doing tonight!! #good evening :)

[toa-character-tournament]

AND THE WINNER IS.............

LESTER!!! Congrats to the world's most pathetic man ever, the matchups were insane and the results even more so, but he was able to win against reyna in the finals despite his tragic rejection 💛 stay winning king.

Anyways, addition poll rq:

Also, should i also do some more random toa polls? not quite sure what this would entail, but lmk! peace and love🫶

#not a poll #YES i know the poll already ended a while back. but im making this post only now. time is a construct ok hush

[thehappiestgolucky]

i-im just sayin,,,the vibes are immaculate

#doodles #pokemon legends arceus #a moth in hisui #hk markoth #hk gijinka #hollow knight gijinka #pokerus #or do i tag- #pokerus au #?? #listen i ju- i just wanted to doodle typhlosion markoth #there is SUCH i reason i chose it for his starter #idk if i’m ever gonna expand on it or dare do my own pokerus thing i just #listen the vibes #i just see it around and go ‘i wanna turn people into pokemon too’ #but like it’d be different on markoth #since he’s from a whole different world #never fully typhlosion…unlocks his magic again #and dream magic doesn’t *have* a pokemon type- #ok imma hush now enjoy the sketch of a concept probably never gonna be expanded upon #…maybe… #idk-

[todayisafridaynight]

Oh, you played Yakuza 4? *holds gun to your head* Name all the important plotpoints

please i have a dog dont do this to me hes very small and defenseless and pees when i have to leave the house because he has separation anxiety

#snap chats #BUT REAL UHHHHHHH LEMME SEE I JUST WANNA SEE HOW MUCH I ACTUALLY REMEMBER #ok so uhhhhh game starts with akiyama visiting. whatever the fuck kido's family was #and he supposed to get collections or some shit but then kido and his boys are talkin bout some drama at a bar #so akiyama heads there where he meets up with his ex wife arai and they fuck shit up at the bar #but then arai kills a bitch and now everythings gone to piss #cut to katsuragi rolling up to daigo like :) Hey ;) Can We Have Majima ;) #and daigos like !! Thats Fucked Just Take The Money #my ucking god what happens in this game CAUSE LIKE THAT HAPPENS AND THEN SAEJIMA HAS TO GET OUT OF JAIL #SO HE DOES THAT WITH HAMAZAKI'S HELP #why the fuck does he escape jail oh my god i really dont remember #i know yasuko is involved here somewhere. #then tanimura's segment happens. i think. kiryu's last because of course it is #WHAT EVEN HAPPENS IN TANIMURAS SEGMENT JESUS CHRIST i just know you fight a cop and it's based #also nair's there :) #but THEN kiryu's bit it's like. hamazaki washes up on the beach and haruka Rightfully flips her shit #and kiryus like Hush Child so he leaves with hamazaki and they run into yasuko who's trying to visit saejima #but then shit happens and hamazaki dies because i cant have anything good in this life apparently #I DONT HAVE THE TAGS TO EXPLAIN THIS POINT IS I REMEMBER NOTHING

[bionysian]

ty @novemberthorne​ for the tag ur sweet (see his post here!)

i have so many wips so narrowing them down to just five is a mess.. but we stay silly. all of these are steddie to some degree except for the stobin one:

1. carve your name on arrival 2. 25 years later 3. finding nothing but faith in nothing 4. stobin s3 reflection ficlets 5. steddie ponyplay fic

the most ive worked on recently is for something saved under “25 years later” so thats what my snippet will be:

“I’ve been better.” Steve smiled and flipped the file open to see, first, Eddie’s credentials. He had been prepared to say more, but what he read shocked him, his jaw dropping open entirely.

Eddie glanced down at the page, nervous; he waited for Steve to pick his jaw up from the floor.

“You’re a neurosurgeon.”

#idr do these kinds of things anymore so being KnownTM about it is kinda nervewracking but #anyway #🫣 thats all ive been up to for the last year is writing steddie #idr have anyone to tag i dont use tumblr much for fandom these days #also i see u arvid. not saying anything about what weve been writing. hush hush contents #jk i'll drop the title idc idc #every day at 4pm i shovel dirt into my face #i think that was my talking tag #ok byeeeee #(after hitting post) now why didn't it @ you

[the-furies]

ok hear Me out. hypersexual/hyperromantic aro/ace aplatonic person whom also enjoys Socialization whom may also be lovequeer & loveless. is that Okay .

#pk;m encyclopedia🔵 #yes the identity crisis continues. hush #i can word thoughts on it better though so I did . yippee?? #'is that Ok' the answer is Yeah bc i experience it but I'm looking for validation anyways . like. #it's fine to be contradictory right. #???? #it's complicated and Messy and Confusing and Odd and QUEER and that's just . the #what I've felt since Existing here and finding these terms Yesterday made me emotional And then panicky bit #I'm fine now. ahsjfjskskd #just. gestures. I'm not like. Doing Anything Wrong By Existing Thid Way. Right? #fuck it add another a in there for agender i don't think my gender matters much ever. [lighthearted]

[karangarin]

I trudge to the door, eyes half-lidded, and the pain erupts across the interconnected web of my nervous system, catching from one limb to the next, scorching every cell, every multinuclear striated fibre. Choking back a sob, I pull the door open, swaying.

“Were you trying to break my fucking door?” I slur and look up to where Peter’s eyes should be. 

But my bleary gaze is met by someone’s rain-soaked shirt instead, the planes of his chest visible through the flimsy material. I raise my eyes to meet those of the stranger on my doorstep. 

Autumn-kissed skin; a face purely composed of hard lines, sharp edges; a glinting, golden earring; irises so black they’re chasmic. 

And snow-white hair.

“Nowhere to run now, little hidepi,” he says, and grins like a man lost at sea would at the sight of a seagull that’s glided too close to the water’s surface.

And after opening my door to a drenched man twice my size who I’ve only ever seen in my dreams, I promptly pass out.

MY LITTLE MEOW MEOW HAS MADE HIS DEBUT!!

#ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE ZEKE !! #my writing #ipap #zeke #naia #ok snow white hair is a cliche! i know! #but hush i dont want to spend hours thinking about it #also its cute to me bcs like it reminds me of the princess #and just the imagery of snow white the princess paired with zeke is very Funny to me so i'll let it slide #also nowhere to run now is kind of giving me the ick #but zeke is very melodramatic with his threats i think #HAHAH IDK I HAVENT WRITTEN HIM YE WE'LL SEE

[reki-of-the-valley]

Some couples go out of their way to have match outfits. Others are just so renga coded that there's a hoodie thief that ""borrows"" hoodies on a weekly basis (including the Reki hoodie) while the other just wears the canon renga hoodie all the time

#this is a callout post for my darling #im not mad or anything #its actually really cute especially when shes wearing the reki hoodie #but please know that she said she wouldnt be a hoodie thief and here we are #anyway my sweetheart is the cutest person ever literally no one is cuter than her #also an excuse to tell everyone that i have a Reki hoodie and a canon renga hoodie which makes me so happy #ok im gonna go now hopefully i dont get hit upside the head for this later on #hush lils

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

HAPPY PRIDE!!!!! i hope you all have a wonderful month (and beyond) and remember to stay safe and drink water!!!!!

#hush n shush wifi #important #this is important ok!!!! #i hope everyone is doing well and has a wonderful day. and week. and month #honestly all the time but especially now #i'll be honest i've just been working all day #oh and claim your wishes from the shop because the shop reset today!! #ok anyways *gives all of you a high five and skitters away* #good evening :)

[cherry-shipping]

ooooohh i wanna draw me and papyrus having a fun cool besties sleepover. and an additional doodle with sans like i talked about in that one post awhile ago that i cant find for like the life of me

#its somewhere. to recap though me and paps have cute silly bff high school girl sleepovers where we paint our nails and giggle and talk abo #ut our crushes and stuff and its the best #imagining hmi with those hair curler thingies on his skull. htink about it #and then sans is in the room next to us still awake cause he can hear our stupid giggles and hushes whispers and hes like #What The Fuck Are They Talking About In There #this is especially a preslash thing and sans is also my best frienf before all th other stuff but hes not invited #its me and paps ONLY. frisk would be invited but they go to bed at like 8:30 so theres not really any point #ohhhbiy ok i was gonna talk more. but its past 6am and im drunk and i do NOT wanna get in trouble until tomorrow #so um. BYE I HAVE TO GO HIDE IN MY BOX NOW LULZ #cherry chats

[b0mblover]

Hate, in Every Sense of the Word.

By: J

major tws for; suicide mention, domestic abuse, abuse, sexual assult mention, murder mention, (really just alot of violence tbh) self harm mention

uh, sorry? that theres so many tws, ig also minor tw for mention of sex too.

uh haha i uh, can you tell what happened tonight? it wasnt even the worst one, just, im tired of it.

talk abt living out of spite bc mannnn, thats all i been going off of for a good while now!

i uh, i really wanna make a certain food bc um. (LOOK I WANNA MAKW A LESS OILY FUCKER OKAY) but my father is awake meaning my mother will be too soon but im scared to even go out of my room bc theyre prob gonna fighttt.

hhhrbd okok ill shut up for now, go ahead and read the angry jirou bullshit ig 😭

(oh yea, if it wasn’t obvious. im talking about my mother in this.)

——————————

yknow,

you havent been a great person

or a good one even.

yet you still question as to why i dont love you

or like you,

maybe you have an idea of how much i hate you.

maybe not

i dont really care about your feelings.

at all.

not now.

i put up with this for fucking 14 years.

my entire fucking life.

ive put up with your shit.

but now?

now im done.

you have no idea how badly you fucked up.

when he said that “im sorry im a fuck up” 

yknow.

he mightve not been right for what he did.

but,

it was just a mistake.

it was a goddamn mistake.

you have any idea how many times ive uttered those words too?

how many times ive repeated them?

how many times i fucking meant it?

just because you “had it bad” doesnt mean shit to me.

you have no goddamn right to treat others the same way.

dont give me that “i dont know how else to act!”

bullshit.

bullshit you dont.

you treated your damn boyfriend just fine!

you had a goddamn kid

you had two goddamn children.

with this man that you fucking DESPISE.

you knew it back then too.

you told me you did.

you fucking told me.

almost nothing can compare to the anger i feel to you right now.

nothing.

you have no right to act like that.

no.

you have no goddamn right to hit another fucking living being.

for such a simple mistake.

i dont care if he talked about it since friday.

i dont give a fuck if he talked about it for months.

you.

you as a goddamn human.

have no right.

none.

in the slighest.

to hit another living being.

for talking about something in your eyes “too much”

or making a mistake.

youre a hypocrite.

need i remind you?

you said that after you broke up with the man you were having an affair with.

that youd be a better person.

stop the fights.

stop the beatings.

stop all of it.

and everything would be okay!

.

i didn’t believe you for a goddamn millisecond.

youre a liar.

just how you said i was.

you didnt quit.

you didnt stop.

hell two months after you hit him again!

you threatened to kill him and yourself!

cmon.

dont you get it yet?

i fucking despise you.

maybe to a degree i feel shocked.

but.

i really dont think thats it.

youre the root of my problems.

every single last fucking one.

——————

need i remind you as how i had to learn to cook, because you were too busy with your damn boyfriend to help me?

.

need i remind you how when i tried to show you that i was fucking cutting myself when i was 9 you only talked about how it looked ugly?

.

need i remind you about how many times you said that you didnt care if i hurt myself as long as no one can see it?

.

need i remind you about how you ignored the rope burn on my neck god knows how many times?

.

need i remind you how you denied fucking multiple peoples sexual assault because “it couldntve been like that”?

.

need i remind you of how many times i almost had to be hospitalized because of your neglect?

.

need i remind you of how many nights i spent alone, in the cold, in the dead of winter, just because you wanted to fuck your boyfriend?

.

need i remind you of what you yelled at me so many times?

.

need i remind you of what i seen?

.

need i remind you of how many times you blamed your abusive behaviors on medication?

.

need i fucking remind you of my entire purpose?

.

i dont care about your feelings anymore.

i gave up years ago.

but now.

i dont feel just numb for you.

i hate you.

in every sense of the word.

.

i dont care of what you or anyone else thinks of me.

.

i dont care about what you think of my appearance.

.

i dont care if you think im too thin or fat or whatever word youll use next.

.

i dont care about what you think because you’ll hate me no matter what.

.

you thought id stop being xxxx when you broke up with him.

you yelled at me.

no.

you fucking screamed at me for weeks.

im tired of even putting in the slighest effort of acting as if i fucking care.

i dont give a fuck about you.

and yknow?

if.

no.

if it would work.

if it was possible.

id fucking kill you.

id stab you.

right here.

right now.

to end my suffering.

to end his suffering.

all of it.

id end it all.

i dont care if its wrong.

because i know no one else knows about whats going on.

yknow.

only one person around here knows what youve done to him and me.

and i havent even met her in person.

yknow.

the people i used to be close with from school.

only just learned you had an affair.

i know that.

the police are do-less.

since you know them.

and hes a man.

not a woman.

it wouldnt be taken seriously.

that he should just fight back.

yknow.

youve ruined what life he has left.

his parents beat him.

his ex wife beat him, and cheated on him.

and here.

youve done the exact same thing.

yknow.

he’ll never get to see how love truely is.

because of you.

because of what youve done.

i cant say i really like him either.

but.

that doesnt give you the right to ruin his life.

.

yknow whats worse?

how i know the only reason that so far youve never dared to lay a finger on me.

is because ive proved that i won’t hesitate to beat the fuck out of you right back.

i know i joke about that night.

but.

really.

hitting you for doing that was the best decision i couldve made.

its kept me safer than i wouldve been for years. 

and even now.

if you were to as so much to touch me.

while in a fight.

id do it all over again.

you maybe 100 pounds heavier than me.

but you dont know how to fight against someone who wont just sit there and take it.

i wont forgive you for what youve done.

even if he will.

.

i want nothing to do with you.

get out of my life for good.

#j writes badly #woohoo i just love living in a very fucked up house its soo great /sarcasm #ughnf whats worse is that if it werent for my parents rn my life would be quiet literally perfect. #holy shit the being pissed at my mother instead of destroying my arm thing is actually working irl holy shit #(actually shoked abt that tbh) #unironically i wanna make a less oily fuck rn. like so badly. bc my parents went to the store and got eggs so i can #oh yea for the new gen folk that dont know all of the j lore (this has been bothering me bc its coming up on the anniversary) #i know how to break someones fingers and make it look like an accident! #turns out theres a specific way thats more common in abuse versus accidents! #dont ask why i know this 🙂 (or do- it reallt doesnt bother me) (also not that i would- /gen) #this is basically me catching everyone up through j lore im not even kidding tbh #and yes. i have hit my mother before bc she wouldnt stop “playing” as i had hot ramen in my hands! #(look. it wasnt the best move at the time but uh. really saved me in the long run unironically!) #THERES FUCKING GEESE FLYING OVER MY HOUSE RN HOLY SHIT #sorry. uh. i cant help it tho. i heard them and it was cute #oh yea even MORE j lore; i have a mildly unhealthy obsession with “being stronger” because im consitently (and rightfully) #paranoid that my mother is gonna try and hit me! #when the whole 2020 chrismas thing (when i hit her) happened i had just got done wih archery so i was still pretty strong #but then eating disorder happened and i quit archery. muscle atrophy etc etc #so like. its a big ass thing i think abt every day now! #yea theres a real reason why i consider my friends as “safe” 💀 #heheheheeeeee when no where else is safe thats just life ig! #oh god i need to brush my teeth fuck. #hhvtbd but my mother is awake :( #HHGBHGBSNS i need to start doing that at an ealier time bc it keeps getting in the way of things #again. how the fuck does smth so simple as brushing my teeth make so much feel better 😭😭 its weird #sighh well! time to go back to trying to find drawing inspo! #(i unironically cannot use my own trauma as a drawing point bc it makes me actually suicidal. thats why i write it! /srs) #CHOKEKSSSJ ok ill hush now!