#okay so books about the cobalts so can we expect a book for each kid? so six books?

[ollie-ollie-oxenfreee]

reverie

The empire siblings have a chat about notebooks, feelings, weird smut and memories.

It takes a while for you to get up the courage to talk to her. Quite a while. You’ve spent the last hour pacing and fidgeting and giving Frumpkin half-hearted speeches about why this is a terrible idea, you should very much not do it and you are going to return to your book now, thank you very much. The cat - little instigator that he is - blocks off this method of avoidance halfway through your latest monologue by hopping up onto your desk, curling up into a ball on the worn cover of your spellbook, giving you a pointed look and shutting his eyes.

“That - that is very unfair,” you protest, waving a hand indignantly. A wave of sly mischievousness floods your bond in response. Problem solved, it seems to say, rumbling with a soundless, satisfied purr.

You hover in the doorway a moment longer, wondering faintly how your own familiar could have betrayed you like this, before another mental nudge - like the tap of a paw against your shoulder - pushes you forward a step. Go. You’ll be just fine.

“I will be just fine,” you repeat, soft, like a mantra. Like the prayers the clerics whisper on the battlefield. “I will be fine. She has been my - my traveling companion for some time now. I can share things with her if I so choose.”

You close your hand around the tiny, precious journal in your pocket, take a deep breath and knock three times on Beauregard’s door.

A grumbled, sleepy “the fuck?,” then silence.

You come so close to taking the gods-granted opportunity to run back down the hallway and escape into your room before steeling yourself and knocking again. One, two, three. Clean and measured and precise.

“Door’s open, Jessie. You don’t have to knock.” “No - nein, Jester is not - Jester is downstairs.”

A pause. A shuffle of quiet footsteps. You flinch back a bit as the door swings open, revealing a thoroughly rumpled Beauregard. She blinks at you for a moment, her expression softening just a fraction as she takes in your obvious unease. “You okay?”

“More or less.”

“You’ve gotta know by now that I’m gonna call bullshit on that.”

“That may be wise.”

She raises an eyebrow and gestures for you to continue.

“I, ah, I have something that I would like to discuss with you. Something of some importance.”

“‘Of some importance?’ So like, quest stuff?”

You swallow thickly, shake your head. “No, not exactly. Nothing quite so urgent. Memories. Of my past… education.. Since you were so open as to share your history, I thought it was only right to unveil a bit more of mine. Is that something you would be comfortable -”

To your faint shock she nods immediately, opening the door a crack for you to step through. “Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Do you want Nott to be here for this, or -”

“No, no, she is with Yeza.”

“Alright.” She knows you well enough by now not to push. Thank Ioun for small miracles. “You can sit wherever,” she says, gesturing widely around the room as she flops back on her bed. You instinctively scan the unfamiliar space as you hover in the threshold - Jester’s art desk, covered in paint splotches and far too realistically rendered genitalia; Beauregard’s teetering stack of books, their blue leather spines stamped with the Cobalt Soul insignia; an expensive half-melted candle spilling warm yellow light across the floor and filling the air with the scent of sugar and flowers. You spot a rickety wooden chair in the far shadowed corner of the room and make for it before Beau rolls her eyes - not unkindly - and pats the foot of the bed.

“C’mon, Widogast. We’re gonna be adults about this. Gonna have feelings out in the open.”

“Is that what makes one an adult where you come from?”

“Yeah. Real important milestone.”

“In that case, I had not realized we were still traveling with a child. It puts so much in perspective.”

“Get over here and sit your ass down already.” You smile wryly in spite of yourself and do as she says, inching over to perch on the very edge of the soft pile of blankets.

“So,” she says after a moment of painfully awkward silence. “Feelings.”

“Yes.”

“Any in particular you’ve been feelin’?”

“Quite a few.”

“Can you be a little more specific than that?” She lifts one bandaged hand to jab you gently in the shoulder. “Show me what the important thing is. Lay it on me.”

I will be just fine. I will be just fine. I trust her. Nerve slipping away bit by tenuous bit, you reach into your coat pocket and withdraw your journal. It looks so innocent, laying there on the bed. Its oiled leather cover dark as coal against the starched white blankets, its ragged pages translucent in the pale light. Just as damnably unassuming as it’s always been.

You clear your throat thickly, finding the words. “Has Nott told you about my notebook? My, ah, other notebook. I would just like to gauge how much you know. Before we take this deep dive into ‘feelings.’”

She nods. “One night after you went to bed. Back at that open bar place in Zadash. Didn’t tell me what it was or what’s in it, just that you had a ‘secret book.’ Then Jester asked if it was porn and the conversation kinda stopped.”

You smile ruefully. “That is about what I expected, I suppose. It is not porn. To everyone’s great disappointment, I’m sure.”

“Yours included?”

“Mine included. I imagine I’d have to be much less secretive if it were.”

“That depends, man. Who knows what kind of weird shit you’re into.” She pauses and hums a bit, thinking. “Do you think wizard sex is like, a thing? Like Essek or whoever uses his arcane powers to bone down? Are people into that?”

This rampant train of thought startles a laugh out of you. “I cannot say that I have much knowledge of wizard sex, but I don’t doubt that there are some. Jester seems to be an expert on this sort of thing - perhaps you should ask her?”

You don’t miss the tiny, wistful smile that ghosts across her face at the name. “Yeah. Maybe she’d know. Anyway -” She shakes herself out of the daydream with a roll of her shoulders and fixes you with a pointed if not unkind look. “Back to feelings.”

“Back to feelings.” You pick the notebook up and ruffle gently through the pages, the flood of memories crashing over you as it always does. The sketches, the notes, the scraps of paper and snippets of old books, the coffee stains and ink splashes. Closing your eyes, you find your way to the proper page. The drawing of both of them.

“These were my - well, I suppose they were more than friends. We studied together. This was Astrid -” you trace your finger over the sketchy rendering of the girl, standing proud and tall with her nightingale on her shoulder, that familiar crinkle to the corner of her eyes. “She was always the ambitious one. Brighter than any of us. She made her mission to learn everything the world had to offer. Nothing was ever out of her reach. Once, when she learned that our other friend and I hadn’t learned to dance, she spent the rest of the night teaching us how. I would not have known how to waltz if not for her. That and - many other things.” Your scars pulse dully, and a tiny flicker of flame dances across your fingertips before guttering into a wisp of smoke. No. No bad memories now. This is not the time.

“What happened to her?”

“That I am not sure of. I haven’t heard from her since - since things went wrong. I can only hope that she found her way out intact. She deserves that much.” You sigh, trace your still gently smouldering fingertip along the worn out page. “She had a wicked sense of humor as well, you know. Coarse as a sailor, and clever. She’d figure out what made you tick, what made you laugh, within moments of knowing you. Always was good at reading people. And Eodwulf -'' you look at the drawing of the young man beside her, tall and strong, that little smile on his face - “he was kind. Big and tough and strong, but so kind. Gentlest soul I knew for quite some time. He told us stories about his farm back in Blumenthal, his little garden. How he’d tend the plants every day and make sure they reached the sun.”

“So he was kinda like Cad?”

“I suppose he was. He was good. I miss them both very much.”

She reaches a hand out and rests it with surprising gentleness on your shoulder. “Yeah, I get that. They sound like they were good.” She pauses for a moment. “You know that you didn’t deserve the shit you went through, right? None of you did. If you can think of them as being nice kids who were manipulated by a fucked up monster, you can think of yourself that way too.”

“I was not a nice kid, Beauregard.”

“Doesn’t change anything. No kid deserves to be treated like that.”

“Would you say the same for yourself?”

The silence is heavy for a long, long moment. “If I did, would you try? Make it a part of our hold - each - other - accountable deal?” She lifts the hand off of your shoulder and holds it out for you to shake on it.

You take a deep breath and take her hand in your own. “I will try.”

She nods, just a little, and gives a proper businessman’s handshake. “Alright. Cool.”

“Cool.” Still holding her hand, you give it a little squeeze. “You did deserve better than the way your father treated you, Beauregard. He was a dick, and he was wrong. You deserved a family that loved you as you were. And our little group, I believe you may have one.”

“Thanks, Caleb,” she says at last, her eyes watery as she smiles at you and pops you gently on the shoulder.

“Of course.”

The two of you sit like that for a while, watching as the moonlight filters in narrow silver bars through the window, and for the first time in a long, long time, your mind is quiet.

#bit of a longer angstier one this time around #minor content warning for discussions of abuse in the context of beau and caleb's backstories #empire siblings #my writing #critical role

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 2

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 6,462

PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

The first thought I had when I woke up was…

 ...who the heck painted my ceiling green?!

Because last I checked, it was a midnight blue… or maybe more of a cobalt blue?  Azure, possibly…?

Whatever it was, it was most definitely not green.

I narrowed my eyes up at it groggily before deciding I didn’t care and rolled over in bed, curling onto my side.  Which led me to my second question…

...where had this frigging baby crib next to my nightstand come from and what the actual frick was it doing in my room?

No… forget the crib… what was the deal with the absolute mountain of Huggies boxes stacked up behind it?

Either this had to be just one of the weirdest, dumbest, not to mention lamest pranks Anna had ever pulled on me or…

...or this wasn’t my room.

I shot up in bed, wide eyes darting about.  Yup, definitely not my room.  Not unless I had decided to do a few home improvements in my sleep and say, I don’t know, move my door to the total opposite wall.  Or how about the entirely different furniture, complete with a giant shelf packed tight with more baby books than a person could possibly ever need in one lifetime?  Then of course there was that heaping pile of toys and stuffed animals stacked in one corner. Did I mention the sheer amount of Huggies? Because dear god, the Huggies…

I was going to have nightmares about drowning in an endless sea of them, mark my word.

It was as I was shuddering at that mental image that it finally all came rushing back to me and I gasped - my wedding! My escape! My shoplifting! My breakdown on Rayne’s doorstep! My-

Wait, wait, go back… Rayne!

...that’s probably where I was.  Still in her apartment.  But… I didn’t remember this room… not walking into it, not even so much as a glimpse of it, just… not at all...

Placing a cool hand to my forehead, I searched my muddled brain some more for the details of what happened last night. Or, seemingly last night anyway, if the early morning light streaming in through the window curtains was any clue.  I remembered… her inviting me in… discovering she was married and expecting, which would somewhat explain the almost disturbing amount of diapers… and then I’d-

Oh dear lord, I had utterly and one hundred percent lost my absolute marbles.  Oh gosh, what must she think of me…

I couldn’t remember much after that. Nothing, in fact. My memories just abruptly stopped. Had I... fainted?

Well I wasn’t going to get any answers if I kept hiding in here. Even less so if I curled up into a ball under the covers and waited for the earth to swallow me and my shame up whole, as lovely and tempting a thought as that sounded.

Sighing, I put one bare foot on the carpet, then the other and reluctantly arose. I spotted my… well... “my” ankle boots tucked neatly next to one of the bedpost legs, prompting me to look down at myself to see that I was still in the, erm… borrowed sundress, now thoroughly wrinkled.  My hair was still in its braid, though calling it that would have been generous as it was now more just one big frazzled knot.  Tossing it back over my shoulder with a sigh, I approached the door, reaching a hand out towards it. My fingers hovered over the knob, hesitating for a split second before twisting it open and stepping out.

A rapid click-clack filled the air as I quietly stepped into the familiar living room from the night before.  It didn’t take long to spot the source. Rayne was seated at the table in the dining space, fingers quickly tapping away at her laptop keys. She looked like she had just gotten out of bed, still in pyjamas and her hair thrown into a loose, messy bun at the nape of her neck.  She had a pencil tucked behind one ear and the light from the screen reflected off the lenses of her black-rimmed glasses, her entire focus trained on her work. 

“Morning, sunshine,” she chirped, not looking up nor putting the brakes on her typing.  “Be with ya in just a sec.”

“Take your time,” I murmured, not wanting to interrupt whatever she was in the middle of. I figured it was the very least I could do after having a total core meltdown in her living room yesterday.

Not quite sure what to do with myself in the meantime, I once more reached for the tangled-mess-formerly-known-as-braid that was my hair, idly toying with it as I glanced around. It didn’t seem like there was much more to the apartment than what I’d already seen.  To my right, there was a short hallway with three more doors, each closed. Presumably one another bedroom where the happy couple slept, one a restroom, which would make the third a…?

Letting my curiosity get the better of me, I stretched a hand out towards the nearest mystery door to take a quick peek.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Rayne sing-songed while otherwise still fully engrossed in her laptop.

I froze, fingertips brushing the doorknob as I turned my head to blink at her.  Then I pursed my lips to one side.  “...closet bursting full of baby diapers?”

Her typing abruptly silenced and she directed an eyebrow quirk my way.  “Actually, yes. How did you know?”

“Wild guess,” I said dryly.  “I’m sorry, did you say you were having a baby or a litter?”

“Shush, you, I’m nesting,” she harrumphed, fingers blurring across the keyboard once more.

For now, maybe it’d be better if I kept my hands to myself. Who knew what other potential death traps Macguyvered out of baby paraphernalia lurked about this place?  Hugging myself, I trudged over to the dining table, took a seat opposite of Rayne and waited.

Hardly another minute ticked by before she gave a satisfied final tap to the laptop.  “Annnnnnd done!” she beamed, clicking the device shut.  She then leaned forward, resting her elbows atop the table and propping her chin on her interlaced fingers as she regarded me.  “So…”

“So…” I fidgeted some more with my frazzled knot, averting my gaze. “...on a scale of one to off-my-rocker, how crazy did I sound last night?”

She closed her eyes with a bright grin.  “Oh, you were batshit, sweetpea.”

I winced.  “That’s... what I thought.  Sorry.”

“Don’t be!” she brushed it off with a flick of her hand.  “It was the most excitement I’ve had in weeks, so actually I’m a little grateful.”

My mouth twisted into a wry grin.  “Well then… you’re welcome, I guess. I’m glad my neurotic episode could brighten an otherwise dull moment in your life.”

“Oh hush, you know I love you.” Crossing her arms, she leaned back in her chair with a sigh.  “Now it was a bit hard to keep up, but let me see if I got the gist here.  You,” she struck up a finger, “were going to get married…”

I hung my head, “Yeah.”

Another digit rose.  “...but realized you didn’t love him…”

My shoulders slouched as I sunk down in my seat, my voice getting smaller as I said, “...yeah.”

Up went the third.  “...that you never loved him…”

Grimacing, I slumped forward, pressing my face into the table, “Uh huh…”

“...and so you dumped him at the altar.”

I groaned, banging my forehead against the hard, wooden surface.  “I am the worst.”

“Aw, sweetheart, no.” The scraping of her chair against the floor could be heard as she scooched around the table closer to me before I felt her hand rubbing light circles against my back.  “You… just got scared is all, and you panicked… I mean, really? You did the right thing.”  I turned my head, resting my cheek against the table now as I gave her a dull stare.  She pressed on hastily, “No, seriously! If you’d had stayed, you wouldn’t have been happy.  He wouldn’t have been happy.  It would have been a terrible marriage, your lives would have been miserable… really, you did him a favor!  I mean, sure, could you have handled the break up a bit better?” Her face scrunched up slightly before she flung her hands up in the air with a shrug.  “...Maybe?”

“Ugh!” I full on faceplanted into table once more.  “The absolute worst! I deserve to be locked in a tiny, cramped box filled with spiders and worms and dung beetles and moldy, rotten eggs and, and anchovies and-”

“Sweetie, sweetie, you’re spiraling again,” she cut me off gently, taking hold of my shoulder and pulling me back to sit up straight once more and look her in the eye.  “The point is, I’m sure he’ll understand.”  My eyelids drooped at her.  “Eventually! I’m sure he’ll understand eventually. Just… give him some time, let this whole thing blow over, then you two can talk. Get some closure. Okay?”

I looked down at my lap with a sigh and just gave a weak, noncommittal shrug.

“Okay then.  Now,” she hesitated, gnawing her lower lip.  “...can I ask… when you made a run for it, why of all places did you come to my apartment?  I’m always, always here for you, you know I am, but it’s been… god, I don’t even know how long… years since we even last spoke. You didn’t have someone else, any other friends or anyone you could have turned to?”

I swallowed hard and slowly shook my head.  “I don’t… have any friends. Not really. It’s… always been hard for me to make them. I’ve just never been good with people. You remember how I was as a child back when we were at summer camp, all nervous and awkward and hardly able to string two words together.”

She gave me a small smile.  “Yeah, and all the other kids didn’t even give you a chance, just figured you were some snooty, rich brat who thought yourself better than them and couldn’t see you were just shy.” Her grin turned a touch wicked. “I pummeled them good though and made them regret ever picking on you.”

One corner of my mouth twitched upward and I nodded. “I was always so thankful for your friendship.  I’m… sorry we drifted apart over the years.”

“S’okay,” she waved a dismissive hand. “We lived so far apart from each other, only seeing each other every summer.  It’s just something that happens sometimes as people grow older, I suppose. But hey… looks like we’re not quite done with each other yet.”

“Guess not,” I chuckled softly before my face sunk into a frown once more. “I never did get any better at making friends.  Everyone I know now… they’re all my parent’s friends… or they're his friends…”

She tipped her head to one side.  “His?”

I gave her a pointed look.  “Him.”

“Oh. The dumpee.  Right.”

“They’re all just… they’re not people I really know, they’re… acquaintances, you know? And they’re all from munny, they’re all from that world, they were all at the wedding, they… none of them would have understood. Except for Anna, but she still lives with Mother and Father, so best she could do was help me escape. But after that?”  I fell silent, shaking my head.

Her brow furrowed.  “What about your home? Couldn’t you have gone there?”

I gave a derisive snort. “With what munny? I fled in my wedding dress, so I didn’t even have my phone on me, much less my wallet, so it’s not exactly like I could've called an Uber. Besides, even if I could have, that’d have been the last place I went.  My parents pay for my condo and after what I’ve done, I can’t face them. Not ever again. I’m never going back… Mother, Father, my old life, all of it... it’s the past now.” My face hardened as I murmured, “The past is in the past.”

She blinked at me a couple times.  “Don’t you think you’re maybe being a bit over dramatic? It’s your parents. They love you, no matter what. I mean, sure, maybe they’ll be a lil pissed, but-”

“No, you don’t understand,” I shook my head with a scowl. “What I’ve done… I did it in front of all their friends, their colleagues, their… I’ve embarrassed them in front of so many important people. And don’t even get me started on how much they spent on the wedding that I didn’t even show up to,” I grimaced, now squeezing the giant knot that was my hair.  “I had a… we had… they had a plan for me, for my whole future, and I just… blew it all up and threw it back in their faces. So no, they won’t just be pissed, they’ll be furious… we’re talking yelling, screaming, we’re talking Hulk smash, we’re talking end of days, wrath raining down from the heavens kind of mad here. They’re going to cut me off and…” I gulped, slumping down further into my chair, eyes downcast as I whispered, “...and disown me.”

Rayne placed a hand on top of one of mine and I glanced up at her again as she said, “You should call them. But maybe… just give them a little time to cool off first?  In the meantime, it’s a good thing you found me again.” She smiled and I couldn’t help a tiny one of my own in return.  With a couple pats to my hand, she added, “What luck you chose my town to get hitched in, huh? Talk about coincidence! What would you have even done if you’d decided to pull your lil disappearing act in a whole other city?”

“Actually, we were deciding between a few venues in different cities to host the ceremony in.”  I frowned thoughtfully.  “But something kept pulling me back to Radiant Garden in Twilight Town. I think… it was because of you. Subconsciously, I was already planning an escape route weeks ago. You were already my way out, my rope made of blankets hanging out a window, it just... took me a while to realize it, I suppose.”

“Well, happy to be your blanket rope any day, boo,” she tapped my nose with a grin.  “A lil warning next time would be nice though, kay? Ya know, just a quick heads up, something like, ‘hey, I’m planning on making like a banana and splitting from my own wedding and need a place to crash’ will do.”

I breathed a short laugh.  “Noted, though I don’t really plan on making a habit of this.”

“Speaking of plans, any ideas what your next step’ll be? What exactly is your plan here?”

“Ugh, don’t get me started,” I rolled my eyes. “Already had this talk with my reflection yesterday and trust me, she was totally useless.”  Rayne stared at me blankly and I cocked my head at her.  “What?”

“...context, sweetie.”

“Oh, right.” I suppose there were still a few dots that I needed to connect for her.  “Well… after Anna helped me escape, I needed a change of clothes. If I kept parading around town in my wedding gown, it probably wouldn’t have been long before my parents tracked me down. Luckily, first store I stumbled across was a used clothing shop. After I changed into this,” I gestured towards the crinkled mess of a sundress I was wearing, “right then and there in the dressing room is when my panic attack went into full swing and I sort of got into a lively debate with the mirror about where my future was heading. That was about as effective as you might imagine,” I grumbled the last part.  “But then I thought of you and asked the person working there for a phone book.”

“Ah.” She looked past me to the coffee table in the living room, where the White Pages had been left, still rumpled but now dried of my tears.  “That explains that, I guess. But… it’s a phone book, why didn’t you just call-” She paused abruptly, eyes lighting up as it clicked.  “...busted phone?”

I nodded. “Busted phone.”

Her eyebrows knit together now, voice quaking with hardly contained laughter as she asked, “So the next logical step to you was to steal the phone book?”

My eyes darted to the left. “...yeah.”

“As opposed to, ya know, borrowing a pencil and jotting down the addresses on a scrap of paper? Like a sane person?”

I huffed out a soft growl, wrenching at my tangled knot once more.  “Hi, have you met me? Not good with people, remember? My brain just shuts down and I get all, I dunno… chicken with its head cut off. And being on the lam after going rogue on my wedding day? Did not help matters when it came to thinking straight, believe me.”

She snerked, ruffling my bangs.  “Oh you poor, sweet, socially inept weirdo you! If it makes you feel any better, you’re in good company. As you might recall, I myself am about as eloquent as a potato.”

“But twice as pretty,” a third voice chimed in and we looked over just as Riku used his foot to shut the front door behind him, smirk in place and bearing a styrofoam cup carrier tray with three steaming drinks in it.

“Rude,” Rayne deadpanned, removing the pencil from behind her ear to flick it at him.

He sidestepped it without breaking stride, lips twitching wider. “Not even. You know how pretty I think potatoes are.”

“Dork,” she shook her head as he came to a stop next to her and planted a kiss atop her forehead, depositing one of the drinks on the table in front of her. 

These two? Actually kind of adorable.

But also… ugh. Love. Gross.

She smiled, bringing the cup up to her nose with a curious sniff. “Mmmmm, pumpkin spice? How did you manage to swing that this time of year?”

“Aqua,” he said, making his way over towards me now but eyes still on his wife. “She’s squirreled away a secret stash in the back just for you.”

“Bless that woman, she’s an absolute angel,” she sighed happily, blowing on the beverage before taking a cautious sip.

He gave the two remaining cups a quick glance before handing one to me with a friendly grin.  “A little birdie told me you’re a fan of peppermint.”

“You remembered,” my eyes crinkled as I looked to Rayne, who merely winked at me. I felt the pleasant warmth from the cup seep into my fingers as I inhaled the aroma deeply. Sure enough, it was some sort of minty mocha blend. I gazed up at Riku, managing a shy, tiny smile.  “Thank you. I’ll pay you back.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” he brushed off. “By the way, we haven’t officially been introduced yet. I’m-”

“Riku,” I nodded. “That much at least managed to slip past the fog of crazy and reach my brain yesterday… nice to meet you. Looks like you already know me by now,” I held up the drink he’d gifted me, pointing to where Elsa was scrawled in sharpie across it.  Then I grimaced somewhat as I put it down on the table, fingers playing with the coffee sleeve wrapped around the cup.  It had a grinning feline face printed on it with the words Lucky Cat Café printed underneath. “...sorry by the way... about last night.”

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for. Sounds like you were in a tough spot and needed a friend.” He stood beside Rayne once more, resting a tender hand on her back as she leaned into him a bit.  “And any friend of Ray’s is a friend of mine. Happy to help in whatever way we can.”

“Thanks…” I murmured, still staring hard at my to-go cup.  The side opposite of the logo had a small blurb of a story recanting how before it became a chain, the first Lucky Cat was a humble little shop in San Fransokyo run by a woman and her two nephews. “...you’re both too kind, really…” I paused with a sigh and a shake of my head, “but I’ve imposed on you both too much already. Thank you so much for letting me stay the night, but I couldn’t possibly ask for anything more from either of you. In fact, I should just go.  Just… give me a few minutes to get myself together and then I’ll leave you both in peace again.”

Rayne narrowed her eyes at me. “You will do no such thing!”

I rose from my chair, “No, seriously, it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll figure something out.”

What though? Good question. Was still working on that part.

Her eyelids drooped as she set an elbow on the table and leaned forward.  “Correct me if I’m wrong, but you still have a bit of a munny problem, as in you don’t have any.”

I gave a weak laugh and shrugged, “Psh, details.”

She quirked an eyebrow. “And just where do you think you’ll sleep while you’re broke off your ass?”

“I have… prospects…”

“...that wouldn’t have anything to do with the box you mentioned yesterday?”

My eyes shifted.  “And Carol, can’t forget about her.”

Somehow, Rayne did not look reassured.  “And Carol would be?”

Boy, were my fingers really getting tangled in my frazzled knot now. “A… a cockroach?”

“A cockroach,” she repeated, voice flat.

“A hypothetical cockroach,” I clarified with a nod.

“That doesn’t make it better,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Look, there’s no way I’m letting my friend live in a box-”

“Not just any box! A Rolex box,” I interjected hastily. The silence stretched and I floundered a bit under her unamused stare. “So… you know, like… a really nice box.”

She scoffed. “Yeah, no. Not happening. You’re staying with us.”

I shook my head, waving my hands back and forth in front of me. “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly! I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I’ve already been and besides, you don’t have any space for me, not with the baby on the way and-”

“The jellybean won’t be here for another six months at least,” she cut in, looking down to place a gentle hand on her belly. “We were going to turn the spare room into a nursery, but we can clear all the baby stuff out for now and you can use it at least until the kiddo arrives. If you need it for longer, well then, we’ll figure it out at that time.”

“But-”

“Oof!” Riku grunted as Rayne shoved him forward with a smack to his rear.  Rubbing his posterior, he looked from her to me.  “We, er… we ask that you-” He hissed in pain as she pinched his arm, narrowing her gaze up at him.  “I mean, we insist,” he glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, whispering, “insist, right?” She gave a firm nod. Clearing his throat, he continued, “We insist that you stay with us. We, uh… won’t take no for an answer.”

Well… when one makes such a super sweet and super coerced offer like that, how could I possibly refuse?

Still I hesitated, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth. “I suppose...only if it won’t be too much of a bother… and this’ll of course only be until I can find a more permanent solu-”

“Then it’s settled!” Rayne leapt up from her chair and I staggered as she tackled me in a death-grip hug. “Welcome to your new home, roomie!”

I couldn’t resist a small smile at that. It was fleeting however as the corners of my mouth turned down once more. “That’s only one problem solved though, what about the million others? There’s still my parents, my ex, my- oh gosh, I have an ex now. My first ex. How weird is that? What am I supposed to even do with an ex?! Like what, do I… send him cards now? Like around Christmas? Or is that too impersonal? Maybe this is more of a fruit basket situation... Oh! And munny! I have to figure out what I’m going to do about that now, not to mention my whole life and future and-”

“Stop,” she put a finger to my lips, silencing my babbling. “Breathe. Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be reminding you to do that a lot now?” she huffed softly. “Just… baby steps, okay? I know it all seems like a lot right now, everything is one big fat question mark, but it’ll all get figured out.  You’ve already made a little progress already.”

I blinked.  “...I have?”

“Yes! For starters, you’re not homeless! But also, think about it… you’re already doing better than you were last night. I mean, at least you’re no longer a complete basket case.”

“I suppose that’s true,” I muttered, absently wringing my hands together. Not a complete basket case… now I was only like twelve percent of one.

Okay, fine, more like sixty percent.

“See? It’s still scary, yes, but not as scary and overwhelming as it was yesterday! All you needed was a little space along with a good night’s rest to gain some perspective.”

I slowly eased back down into the chair. “I guess you’re right… things don’t seem as bad today. Still bad, very, very bad, but… not as much as last night. Heh… it’s funny how some distance can make everything seem small.”

“And it’ll just keep getting easier, believe me,” Rayne rubbed my shoulder as she too took a seat once more. “Just look at this as a new beginning.”

My eyebrows knit together. “A new beginning?”

She nodded. “Yeah, like… okay, what was your life like before? Before you flew the coop, before this whole mess when everything was all status quo, what was it like with your parents?”

A low hum escaped me. “Well, I guess I always just did as I was told. I got the grades my parents wanted me to get, socialized with the groups my parents wanted me to socialize with, went to the university my parents wanted me to go to, dated the guy I thought my parents would want me to date… never did any wrong, always followed the rules… I was always just the good girl I felt I had to be. Being their eldest child, I felt I had an image to maintain, that I must always do what was expected of me, that I owed it to Mother, to Father, to the family name.”

“Okay, sure, but now all of that?” She smirked at me. “You can just forget about it! No more right or wrong and you can take those stupid, stuffy rules and just throw them out the window! This is a new start for you. Now you get to decide what you want for yourself, no one else.  You’re free!”

I stiffened at that, blinking a couple times as her words sunk in.

...no right, no wrong… no rules for me?

I’m… free?

That… actually sounded kind of amazing.

But also totally and utterly terrifying.

Where’s a rock to hide under when you need it?

“Earth to Elsa, come in please.” Rayne snapped her fingers in front of my face and I flinched, wide eyes focusing on her once more. “Sorry, I could just already see you drifting off into worrywort mode so figured I had to reel ya back in quick. Look, I get it. Going from life as practically royalty in a gilded cage to being thrust penniless and clueless into the real world would sound scary and daunting to anyone. But you don’t have to do it alone.” She wrapped her arms around her husband’s waist, hugging him close. “You have Riku and me. Just consider us your Real World for Dummies book!”

That… was actually super comforting to hear. I could already feel the anxiety beginning to ebb a bit.  “Thanks, I… that means a lot to me,” I smiled faintly before breathing a small sigh. “Okay then, where should this dummy start?”

“Alright, lesson one,” she struck up a finger. “Everything costs munny. Solution? Get a job.”

One eyebrow shot up my forehead. “A job?”

“Yup! I mean, you’re gonna have to pay for rent somehow!”

My other eyebrow rose to join the first. “R-rent?”

Okay, anxiety back now, and cranked up to a thousand!

“Of course. What, did you think this was gonna be a free ride? Pft, please. I’m your friend, not Mother Teresa. It’s for your own good, you’re going to need to learn how to provide for and take care of yourself. But don’t worry, you won’t owe us anything until you land an actual job.”

“Oh… okay.” That didn’t sound too bad, I suppose.  However… “Just one question: how do I do that?”

Her head tilted to the left. “Do what? You mean… get a job?”

“Yeah,” I nodded vigorously, “that.”

“You’re kidding me, right? Have you never had a job before?” You could almost hear the non-existent crickets as I just stared owlishly back at her. Finally she facepalmed. “What am I saying, of course you’ve never had a job. Why would you? You have enough munny to make Tony Stark look like chump change… er, rather, you had.  Oi, this might be harder than I thought,” she grumbled, rubbing the nape of her neck.

“What were you going to do?” Riku piped up.

I looked up at him with a frown.  “What was I…?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, “You know, as in your career? What were your goals, your ambitions, your plans for the future?”

My fingers were back at it again, getting ensnared in my bedraggled knot. I really needed to see about disentangling the stupid thing.  “Well, I… I guess I never really thought about it…”

“What?!” Rayne’s head rocked back at that.  “How could you not?! Didn’t you say last night you just graduated? What were you going to do now that you were out of school?”

“I was going to get married!”

Were these people even listening to a word I'd said?!

Riku rubbed his chin, “Let’s try a slightly different angle here. What about your major? What were you studying?”

Here I cringed a bit. “Art History.”

Rayne clapped her hands together once, “Well then, there you go! You can apply to a museum or something.”

“But I hated it. Another thing I did only because my parents encouraged me to. I don’t want to work at a museum or sell art or teach it or have anything to do with it!” And once again, I was slumping forward. Hello table, my old friend. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be banging my forehead against you a few times. “Ugh, why did I have to waste four years of my life on that?! Stupid, useless major!”

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she tugged on my knot, forcing me to sit back up once more. “It’s not that bad, really!”

“Not that bad? I have no skills, no experience, nothing! No one’s going to want to hire me, I’m about as qualified as a frigging kumquat! Scratch that, the kumquat is more qualified because at least it can be made into a smoothie. Can I be made into a smoothie? No! I can't do anything!”

She puffed out a breath, “Calm down, there’s plenty you can do! You’ll definitely figure this out.”

I tucked in my lower lip as I looked down, mulling it over for a second. Then I glanced back up at them hopefully. “...what do you two do for a living? Would either of you maybe be able to get me a job?”

“University professor,” Riku said, jerking a thumb into his chest. “My field is astronomy, not that that helps you one way or another. You said teaching was out.” 

“And I’m a reporter for Meteor Publishing.” Rayne looked away with a low growl, “Though lately I’ve been relegated to online editing work from home because somebody thought it would be a good idea to put me under house arrest ever since we discovered I was pregnant.”

Riku held his hands up in a placating gesture. “Hey now, it wasn’t just me. Vyv agreed with me.”

She scoffed. “Stupid useless boss. In any case, I can’t really be of assistance either, I’m afraid. You kind of need the experience and background to work in journalism. You got anything like that? A course you took for fun in college? Wrote for your high school paper? Anything?”

“I’ve never even so much as kept a personal dairy,” I sighed, eyes downcast once more. “It’s hopeless!”

“No, sweetie, it’s not hopeless! There’s still plenty out there for you! Lot’s of entry-level jobs that’d be willing to train you. It probably won’t be anything glamorous, but you gotta start somewhere! Not gonna lie though, it’ll probably be retail. You know... customer service.”

“Meaning…?”

Looking me dead in the eye, she intoned one single, solitary word that rang out like a funeral toll. “People.”

I blanched.

Okay, this was it.

My nightmare.

She cupped my hands in hers and when she spoke, her voice was gentle. “Sorry, but there’s just no way around it. It’s either that or putting that Art History bachelor’s of yours to work. Pick your poison.”

If you hadn’t gotten the memo by now, me and people? Did not go together. Something about being around them caused my muscles to lock, my heart to freeze to ice, my insides to shrivel, and my soul to exit my body. If it were up to me, I’d have become a hermit a long time ago. But I’d never be able to pull it off... I couldn’t grow that iconic beard that was basically required hermit dress code. Bleh, being a hermit was such a male dominated field, it really wasn’t fair.

All that said, however…

“If I were to go the Art History route,” I began slowly, “it would be kind of like I was still letting my parents dictate my life since they’re the reason I majored in it. No… I want nothing to do with that stupid degree.” My expression hardened. “So, customer service it is then. I’m going to make it on my own, this is just something I have to do.  It… will be good for me.” Despite myself, my tone lost some of its edge as I asked, “...right?”

Rayne grinned big at me. “Absolutely! Besides, it’ll only be temporary, just something to give you time to land on your feet and figure out what you really want to do with your life. And remember, we got your back every step of the way. I can help you with the job search and filling out applications. Riku’s definitely more of the social butterfly, so he can prep you for interviews.”

My back stiffened. “Interviews?”

Riku gave a light snort. “You know, as in the thing that will actually land you a job? Resumes and job forms are great for getting your foot in the door, but they’re not enough on their own. Employers actually want to meet you, see if you’ll be a good fit, get a feel for who you are, stuff like that.”

Oh dear…

Was it too late to backtrack and get married?

Zip it, brain, I don’t want to hear that kind of talk! Stay strong, girl!

“Why don’t you give her a bit of a trial run right now, hun?” Rayne suggested, standing up and offering him her chair. “Give her an idea of some of the questions she might be asked.”

“Alright,” he took a seat across from me, scooting forward slightly and plastering on a blinding smile. “Hi, I’m Riku, I’ll be interviewing you for the position we’re hiring for.” He offered me his hand and I twitched back from it slightly. Blank stare darting back and forth between his outstretched palm and his face a few times, I at last tentatively took it to shake. He cleared his throat, looking at me expectantly. I blinked at him. He sighed, “...and you would be?”

“Oh! Um… Elsa… pleasure, to uh… to make your acquaintance?” I ventured.

“Likewise,” his hands folded in his lap. “Now tell me, why do you want this job?”

I straightened up, “Oh, this one’s easy. For munny.”

Riku spluttered and coughed into his fist. Choking back a laugh, Rayne said, “Tact, sweetheart. Try not to be so blunt.”

“Oh.”

This whole interview thing was sounding harder and harder by the second.

Having regained some composure, Riku tried again. “What would you say is your greatest weakness?”

My gaze shifted to the right as my fingers fiddled with my knot once more. “Oh gosh, I have so many, it’s hard to pick just one.”

He gave me a dull stare. “Maybe consider… honesty is not always the best policy.”

“Also remind me later that we really need to boost that self confidence of yours,” Rayne muttered behind him.

“Alright,” Riku lifted his chin, “Where do you see yourself in five to ten years?”

Was he joking? “I don’t even know where I see myself in five to ten minutes, let alone years!”

He smacked himself in the face, dragging his hand down.  “We… have our work cut out for us.”

And so it went. Riku tried a few more questions on me, but the rest of my answers continued to go about as well as you might expect. As he and Rayne did their best to prepare me for the real thing, I had to keep telling myself that despite my fears and doubts, this was what was best for me. Sure, it was going to be hard but in a way, that was good. My life had been too easy so far, with everyone making decisions for me. Everyone, that is, except for myself. I had been limiting myself and taking the easy way out this whole time, never realizing my full potential. But not anymore. It was time to see what I could do, to test those limits and break through.  This was going to be the new me, not that old fake persona I’d always put on because it was what my parents had wanted. It was time to learn who I really was. And above all, I just needed to keep reminding myself that now…

...I’m free. 

Author’s note: Whew, answered a lotta questions this chapter and we're done with the setup for the most part! Please just bear with me a little longer and I promise things will start to pick up and heat up more by the end of next chapter! You probably noticed a few not so subtle drops both this and last chapter of lyrics from Let It Go sprinkled in. I'm just a dork who's doing her best to parallel the whole running away/Let It Go scene from the movie with Elsa nopedy-noping outta her wedding in this story xD Also, not sure if it sounds weird for Elsa to say "frigging" or "frick" (she's gonna do it semi-regularly-ish) but trust me, there's a reason she does! There's always a method to my madness, I swear! …and sometimes those methods are stupid, but still, what matters is that there IS IN FACT a method xD

Anyway! Next chapter, Elsa gets a job (take a wild stab in the dark as to where, given that the story title, summary, and cover art are NOT subtle), she meets a CERTAIN someone (well, she's gonna be meeting a LOT of new someones, but there's one in particular we've all been waiting for, you know who :3) and at last the true fun, adventure and mayhem can really begin! Thank you so much for reading, and an extra BIG thank you to those of you out there who liked and reblogged last chapter, seeing that always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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#kingdom hearts #frozen #elsa #axel #fanfiction #lea #fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfiction #frozen fanfiction #kh fanfiction #kh fanfic #frozen fanfic #kingdom hearts fanfic #axelsa #fluff #romcom #snark #kh3 #my writing #ice cream and fire oven pizza #rare pair #crossover pairing #slow burn

[lonely-bored-writer]

Is Everything Okay? Ch. 14

"Are you sure you'll be alright?" Anderson's eyebrows furrowed, the concern was clear on his faces. The pale and ever so slightly shaky teen gave the older man a small smile.

"Yea..." Danny nodded, looking down at the cup of water before him. His mind reeling to try and explain who was the reason for his fainting spell. He bit his lip, and glanced up. He tensed and pulled in on himself at the sight of Spectra and her minion Bertrand. "It's just..."

"It's Ms. Spectra, isn't it." Anderson was met with a wide eyed teen. The man released a sigh, looking of at the demon-like redhead. "The way you two look at each other, it's like a predator looking at a prey. I'm going to see what I can do to get her removed-"

"You don't have to." Danny cursed himself inside. He didn't want Spectra here, she fed on his emotions which made him worse, but he didn't want Anderson to go through the trouble. He's already helped him enough. "I-I can handle it..."

"Danny, you knew she worked for Vlad. That alone shows that something happened between the two of you, and I can tell it wasn't good." The blonde slouched to the teen's level. "I know it's hard handling this with Masters alone, so I'm going to help have Spectra dismissed. "

Daniel didn't know how to the respond to the man's kindness. A man who he didn't even know existed until a few weeks ago. His response was a watery smile, which was returned with a sturdier smile as the agent left to speak with the Judge. Danny curled in on himself, trying everything he could to drown out the soft whispers that sounded like roars. He didn't expect anything else anyway, he was the kid who fainted in the middle of a hearing.

A sigh escaped him, he kept his cobalt eyes on the white tile at his feet. The raven haired teen just couldn't help but be glad to have had Anderson, who had told him everything that he didn't catch in his hazy. Spectra somehow had a video of him acting like Phantom, rather than shifting. That made things a lot easier, he could have been acting for all everyone knew. It couldn't be that hard, right?

"Any evidence, or testimony that Ms. Penelope Spectra is to be ignored." Judge Montreal addressed before turning to the two lawyers before him. "Mr. Anderson will start."

"I call Tucker Foley to the stand." Danny's head shot up to see his best friend walking to the podium. He felt happy that Tucker decided to show, but he couldn't believe he missed him. How could he not notice this? "Mr. Foley can you tell me about the first time my client, Daniel, came to you about Vlad." Even from his seat, Danny can see the slight tremors running through his friend. Tucker never did fair well under pressure.

"Uhm, he had gotten back from the reunion. I had questioned him what was wrong, I've been his best friend for years, I can tell when something is bothering him, ya know? He didn't tell me at first, but I promised not to tell anyone unless he gave the gr-green light. When he told me, I tried to get him to tell someone just how much of a froot-loop Vlad is." Tucker paused when he caught the dark gaze of the silver haired man. Anderson noticing the small exchange effortlessly blocked the teen's view. Prompting Tucker to go on, said teen swallowed thickly before continuing. "But he didn't want to. I got-get it really, the man had threatened to kill his dad and somehow marry his mum! With all the surveillance Vlad had, Danny was to worried that Vlad would find out if he planned to tell anyone and he would hurt his family."

"What about his parents? Do you remember either of them making a move or noticing what Mr. Masters was doing?"

"No..." Tucker paused, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Wait, I know his mum thought something wrong was going on with the man. So they stopped visiting him, but then he became Mayor and he spent more time in Amity Park and..."

"What about Jack Fenton?" Anderson decided to save the kid from having to finish the sentence. Meanwhile, Danny was dumbstruck by how well his friend was lying... Well partially lying.

"He can be a little slow when it came to things like that..." Tucker gave a nervous chuckle. wishing nothing more than to have his PDA which sat in Jazz's lap out of the techno geeks reach. "He still thought Vlad for being his best bud from College."

"So would you say that Vlad Masters didn't only seem psychologically and physically capable of harming the Fenton family, but he also was able to manipulate people?" His answer was a jerky nod from the antsy teen who sat at the stand. Anderson bit back a sigh, he wasn't going to drain the kid before the shark of a defense attorney got to him. "No further questions." Anderson nodded, taking a seat at his table next to the still fidgeting Danny.

"Thanks for coming." Danny smiled at his two friends. "I wasn't sure if you were going to..." The teen gave a nervous smile and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Of course we were coming!" Chris shook his head in mock disbelief. The blonde beside him chuckled softly. "What kind of friends do you think we are!" The teen exaggerated his point by placing a hand over his heart. The smirk playing on his lips dismissed any notion of actual hurt. The purple haired teen's smirk only grew at his friends laugh.

"So, how'd you think it went?" Danny questioned, glancing between the two of his friends. He kept his knees pressed to his chest, and bit his lip. He wasn't hopeful about the whole thing. Vlad had power and influence, knowing him he would have somehow paid off the jury.

"I think it looks great actually." Dash spoke, taking his seat on one side of Danny while Chris took the other. Although a bench was seated not even five feet away from the trio, they had chosen to join their distraught friend on the floor. "Masters lawyer didn't have a case against you. You've got this in the bag."

"Yea Dash is right. That lawyer of his is just grasping at straws, theirs no way you'll be losing." Chris agreed with the jock, giving Danny a smile. "Besides, even if the prick paid any Jury people to vote in his favor no one will do that, not after the panic attack you had in there."

A grim silence filtered between the two, all of them sat against the wall. Daniel was hugging his knees, with his chin resting between them. Dash sat with one leg bent and the other stretched out. While Chris sat with his feet pressed together, leaving an opening between his legs. The trio sat and waited, waited for the case to be called in and for the verdict to be told.

"Danny!" The teen jumped, his cobalt eyes landed on a panicked Jazz running towards them. Her aqua eyes wide, swimming in tears while she panted, stopping in front of the three. "Danny, it's dad. We have to get to the hospital!"

Danny froze, his mind swimming in possibilities. He couldn't just leave could he? But he had to go, he had to see how his dad was doing... But the verdict. The pressure started to build on his chest, but all he could do was stare at his fraught sister. The feeling of a hand on his shoulder snapped him from his panic. He turned quickly to be met with Dash's slightly worried blue eyes.

"We'll call and tell you the verdict, you should go"

"Mum?" Jazz questioned, walking up to her crying mother. Danny lagged a few steps behind, a familiar sense of dread and trepidation growing inside him, wrapping tightly around his throat. His eyes flashed to his father's room... Or what was his father's room. The bed was bare, any sigh of anyone having occupied the room was now gone. The tears began to slide down his cheeks before he came to the full conclusion.

"He's gone." Danny stated, knowing immediately that it was true. "Dad... He's dead?" The harsh sob his mother gave told the siblings what they needed to know. Jazz acted first, pulling her mum into a tight hug, letting her cry into her shoulders. But Danny stood frozen, his whole body felt like it was just drenched into an ice cold bath. He felt numb, but he felt so much at the same time.

"-Your fault!" Danny looked wide eyed and crying at his angry mother. Her leaking eyes trained on him, anger flaring them. Just hearing the two words from her, he knew what she thought. He couldn't agree more, he knew he was at fault. He deserved the anger and hatred from her.

"Mum, wait-"

"No Jazz!" Maddie cut her daughter off, moving towards her trembling son. "It's all your fault! If you had just-If you had just done something before none of this would be happening! Your father would still be here, we would still be living in OUR home. This-This is all on you." Her words got colder the more she spoke, they dug deep into Daniel. Even if he felt that way, it hurt more than any wound hes gotten to hear his own mother say them.

"No!" Jazz got between the two, everyone seemingly forgetting about everyone else in the hospital. Everyone who stood or sat around watching the exchange with various emotions. "This isn't Danny's fault! This is-"

"She's right." Daniel's soft whisper shocked his sister into silence, but seemed to please his mother. "Mum's right, this is all my fault." He chocked out, the tears clouded his vision as he turned and booked it out of the room. He didn't want to see his mother's rightfully hateful glares, or his sister's pity looks. The pressure on his chest increased by ten folds, making it harder for him to breath.

All he knew was that he needed to get away from all of this.

"Dude you won! Masters got 25 years!"

Danny's blurry eyes stared down at the sentence on his phone. Those word did nothing to appease the pressure, or the guilt inside him. If anything it all increased, he figured getting Vlad out of the situation would make everything so much better, but it didn't. Everything hurt, everything was falling apart and there was nothing he could do.

A choked sob escaped him, he tossed his phone roughly onto the cement of the roof he found himself on. His eyes found the large billboard that sat in front of him. Confusion and paranoia raced through him when it shut off. The electronic billboards were always up, so why would this one suddenly shut off? Nonetheless his questions and worries were answered and confirmed when the face of a certain silver haired halfa found itself on screen.

"Hello everyone of Amity Park, this is your Mayor. The same Mayor who had just been wrongly convicted of child abuse if you are watching this. I had hoped all this could have passed over without the need to reveal young Daniel Fenton's secret. A secret he had thrown his own godfather under the bus to protect. A secret he in trusted me with for some time. I had hope little badger would have came to his senses and retract his false statement so I wouldn't have to go to such extreme measures to clear my now tarnished name..."

Danny's vision focused instantly, fear curling through him. The alarm raced through his veins, his mind going to the only thing he could think Vlad would do with his. Vlad was going to expose him...

"Many of you may not believe my words, and so I had decided to display for all of you video evidence to support this. Very well, for all of Amity Park to know, Our resident Daniel Fenton is also our resident hero Danny Phantom. He had gathered his injuries doing nothing more than protecting this town, he did not want you to know of this, and so Daniel had put the blame on me. I can see how this is hard to grasp, and so here is the proof."

From his perch on the roof, Danny could hear the out roar below him as the video of his transformation played on loop. The very transformation he had been forced to do by Vlad well before any of this occurred. Danny should have expected Vlad to have insurance, should have expected things to never be easy for him. His head snapped up, eyes trained on the white hover craft heading his way. They GIW already tracked his ecto-signature. They were getting better.

Swallowing down the fury of emotions running through him, Danny knew one thing for sure. He needed to get out of Amity Park.

#fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #fanfiction.net #Fandoms #Danny Phantom #danny fenton #IM SORRY DANNY #danny phantom fanfiction #Is Everything Okay?

[doodlewash]

Great ideas are happening at Da Vinci Paint Company! I’m so thrilled to share with you an awesome project that I’ve been working on with Marcello there, to kick off an upcoming line of 8ml Da Vinci watercolor tubes (adding to the collection of 15ml and 37ml watercolor tubes). These little 8ml tubes are perfect for trying out some new colors at a great price!

Painted Using Only My “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio

So, we thought a fun way to introduce them would be to invite a trio of artists, (one of the three being me!) to choose their favorite three Da Vinci Watercolor tubes and create three new watercolor trio products (which I’m pleased to say are all available to purchase now! Read on to learn more about the project, the other artists, and my own “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio and mixes!).

We thought it would be fun if these artists could also share their great ideas about color mixes and painting, or as we like to call it when using Da Vinci paints – a #DaVinciMoment.

About Da Vinci Watercolor Trios

As many of you who’ve seen my watercolor illustrations in my blog posts know, I’m a huge fan of using a limited palette as well as painting with Da Vinci watercolors (if you’re visiting me for the first time today, hey there, welcome! Nice to meet you!) The idea behind this project was to have each artist select only three Da Vinci watercolor tubes to create their personal trios.

Painted Using Only My “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio

These aren’t necessarily triads, or colors that are evenly spaced around the color wheel, but simply three colors that we each felt, when used in various combinations, produced some really lovely mixes. Each artist was given about 9 colors in those cute little 8ml tubes, and had to choose only three. This bit turned out to be tougher than I expected!

I’ve used duos and quattros, but getting to a mix of just three colors was actually a fun challenge. Next up, I’ll share more about our trio of artists, a little about myself if you’re new to Doodlewash, share the trio I personally chose along with some sample watercolor illustrations, and provide a mixing chart showing how I mix the colors. 

(If you want to know a bit more about Da Vinci watercolor you can also check out Jessica Seacrest’s review here on Doodlewash.)

Our Trio of Artists

And now, presenting our trio of artists! Is it me or should there really be a way to add a drumroll to a blog post? Okay, so the first artist up is me and most of you who visit this blog often are used to reading my rambles and already know a lot about me. For those of you who are wondering who the heck this guy is, then I’ll take a quick moment to share a little bit about my myself, via this little interview each of the artists completed.

Charlie O’Shields – Doodlewash®

My name is Charlie O’Shields and I’m the creator of this very site, Doodlewash®, which is a global community of watercolor painters, illustrators and sketchers. I’ve featured over 440 artists painting and sketching on every continent (yep! Even Antarctica!) and host a community where artists who draw and use watercolor can post and share their work right here on this site. If you love watercolor painting and sketching, then please join us!

I’m also the founder of World Watercolor Group and World Watercolor Month in July – a 31 watercolors in 31 days challenge to raise awareness for arts education.

What do you like about Da Vinci watercolor?

Da Vinci watercolor is rich and vibrant and contains a rewetting agent makes it behave very similarly to honey-based paints, which I had used exclusively prior to discovering Da Vinci watercolor. And if I need to grab a color that I don’t already have waiting in my pans, they work beautifully straight out of the tube! I had the pleasure of visiting Da Vinci Paint Co. in California, U.S.A. and watching how the colors are created. The attention to detail and demand for quality is stunning. And at the end of the process, all of the colors are lovingly hand-poured. It’s a rare and wonderful thing to witness in this day and age of automation and I was immediately smitten with both the paints and the company.

Why do you paint?

Once I started sketching and painting each day, I quickly realized it was amazingly therapeutic and calming. After a long day at work, coming home to create a little watercolor illustration became something I not only looked forward to doing, but something that helped me transition my day and relax into my evening feeling refreshed. Okay, I admit, it also became a completely unstoppable habit. I recently just passed the mark of 1,000 days of consecutive watercolor painting and sketching.

What do you love to do besides painting?

I’m a big kid, so I also enjoy playing games on my phone as well as console games on Xbox and Playstation. I grew up during a period when arcade games were all the rage and I guess it just stuck with me. I also love Lego and creating things with those little colorful bricks. I have shelves full of Lego architecture sets mixed with random Star Wars memorabilia. When not playing with toys, I do also like to read lots of books, even the ones written for adults and without pictures.

Favorite Things Trio

Dessert (really any kind)

Funny childhood memories

Getting lost in a good book

Bucket List Trio

Publish an illustrated memoir

Go on an African safari

Learn how to speak French

Completing The Artist Trio

I’m happy to introduce my two lovely artist friends who agreed to be guinea pigs for this first outing of the project. I say that because I didn’t have all of the idea in place before just jumping in and going for it. Something that will not surprise my regular readers in the least.

I don’t like to set severe parameters as it allows the artists to help complete the idea. You can’t know where to build the sidewalks until you see the paths that people make. And they both forged a brilliant path indeed! So thank you Tonya and Jennifer for your patience and your wonderful ideas that made this project truly come to life! Check out their links below and read on to learn more about my Da Vinci watercolor trio and an overview of how I mix colors with wonderful paints.

Tonya Lee – Scratchmade Journal

Tonya Lee lives in the Appalachian Mountains with her family of four and one cat. She enjoys nature study, sketching, gardening, and limited interaction with city life, but she’ll happily fight traffic for a great restaurant, museum, or thrift store.

Visit Tonya at Scratchmade Journal to learn about her Da Vinci trio!

Jennifer McLean – Just Add Water Silly

Jennifer McLean is a watercolor and mixed media artist and an avid reader, so you’ll always find either a book or a paintbrush in her hand.

Visit Jennifer at Just Add Water Silly to learn about her Da Vinci Trio!

Charlie’s “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio!

SO, what did I ultimately choose for my watercolor trio? Well, a little set of my three favorite Da Vinci watercolor tubes that I use to make shiny happy things, of course! For those who know me, they know I love painting shiny metal things and glassy objects. I think they’re a joy to paint, and particularly suited to the watercolor medium. I can barely paint a flower without jamming it into a glass vase, sneaking in my chance to paint something shiny!

Painted Using Only My “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio

There are many ways to paint glass and metallic surfaces, but as an illustrator, one of the tricks I personally enjoy to create an illusion of realism is to really push contrast. By this, I mean deep blacks next to nearly pure whites. This creates a “shiny” look that can be amped up to make something metallic or softened a bit to create the effect of glass. So, I present to you now the three Da Vinci Watercolor tubes in my “Shiny” Trio.

Terra Cotta (PR102 – Semi-opaque)

This is undoubtedly one of my favorite Da Vinci watercolor tubes. It’s a rich color when used with just a little water and dilutes to a lovely reddish and ruddy pale color that can be used to add a bit of random warmth to areas of my watercolor illustrations. I don’t often paint people, but have mixed it to create pleasing skin tones as well, with just a bit of Quinacridone Red or Opus (Vivid Pink) and a touch of Yellow Ochre. With a bit of Nickel Azo Yellow it can become a lovely, glowing orange.

Cobalt Blue (PB28 – Transparent)

Though I had previously used Ultramarine Blue, this little tube has become my number one go-to blue. It’s a deep and bright blue that can be used on its own to create shadows under objects or mixed with Terra Cotta to create a very balanced neutral gray. It can always provide the right tint to shadows in a snowy landscape, or more likely in my case, a dollop of whipped cream (be sure to always add a touch of yellow to whipped cream. Though paintings are always calorie-free, there’s a bit of fat there in reality and yellow helps add that bit of decadence).

Nickel Azo Yellow (PY150 – Transparent)

This color is created with one of the two pigments used in Da Vinci’s Quinacridone Gold, which I also enjoy. The color looks incredibly dark and not yellow at all in the pan and dilutes with water to create an impossibly sunny and bright yellow. It’s rather magical, so I have to admit that this is also part of the allure. I can also use it in a low to nearly no-water fashion to create depth and a darker, browner edge when I want a bit more outline to an area of my watercolor illustrations.

My Mixes, Or Finding My Da Vinci Moment

Here’s a little color wheel showing mixes you can get from this trio. Note, that since this isn’t a triad, you won’t be able to get a red/purple from this mix. My core triad is Cobalt Blue, Nickel Azo Yellow, and Quinacridone Red, which creates a very beautiful and balanced primary palette of all transparent colors, but lacks the punch to create deep, dark grays or blacks. That’s where Terra Cotta comes in and saves the day!

As for swatches, I swear I started with traditional swatches, but I was growing frustrated with the process. I’ve never actually made swatches before and began to wonder why. Perhaps it was painting inside the box or mostly it was because the usual approach requires drying time. I have the patience of a 5-year old child and rarely ever let my paint dry completely in my quick daily paintings. I work in a circular fashion to let bits sort of dry while working on others.

Painted Using Only My “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio

So, something about the usual swatch method just didn’t feel like a fit for me. I tried a couple times and both were messy failures. I felt like I was losing my marbles. Hey, wait?! That’s it! I’ll make some marbles instead!

My Watercolor Marble Mixing Chart

So, I invented this little alternative doodlewash approach to traditional swatches. This is based on something I actually do often, when I want a lightening quick test of new colors and/or combinations. Which is pretty much all of the time, given my short attention span. I make a quick circular outline of the marble by using less water and getting a more saturated version of the color for the exterior of the marble.

Then, I rinse my brush and wet the center with water creating a rough approximation of a marble, leaving bits of highlights as dry paper. After that, I quickly add bits of color, letting the watercolor do what it likes and popping in a shadow at the end with a wetter wash of a diluted version of whatever color mix was left on my brush. I used only one color, then made some marbles adding two colors, and then some more adding bits all three colors.

In just a few seconds, this quickly shows me how the color granulates, how it mixes with other colors, how it can perform to create shadows, and even how well highlights stand out in various color combinations for my shiny things. The entire full chart you’ll find below took less than 10 minutes, about 20 seconds a marble, but to my brain, at least, shows me all I need to know about the colors and how they might work together.

I went back in to be a bit more helpful and organized them with a color key below, in case we don’t all share the same brain. The first little box is the color I started with for the outline (in a more saturated lower water form) and a general idea of the amount of the other colors present that I quickly dropped into the wet wash in the middle and then diluted to create the shadow. One note, if the center is too dark, I just push the wet color out of the way towards the edge which creates an even stronger outline of the marble and lets me see how the pigments interact together). It’s also a lot of fun! And I always feel like I learn a bit more when I’m just messing about like a kid.

Charlie’s “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio – Two Color Mixes

What I love most about these particular colors is the depth and range you can get from using only two of them at a time. Nickel Azo Yellow in particular is like getting a few colors in one if you play with the less diluted version of the paint. The marbles on the bottom left and far right look like they have more than two colors in them, but it’s mostly Nickel Azo Yellow with just a bit of Cobalt Blue. In the middle far right, you can see an example of the shiny orange that happens when just a bit of Terra Cotta is added instead.

Charlie’s “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio – Three Color Mixes

When you mix all three, the fun really begins as the saturation boosts even a bit more and interesting and often subtle interactions take place. The top far left marble’s shadow begins to resemble the sand on the beach, while the top far right’s shadows reminds me of a beach at sunset. The middle far right ended up looking like a Superman marble so I just let it be. It does show the nice pairing of warm and cool colors, but mostly I love it because it looks like it once belonged to Superman.

Charlie’s “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio – Neutral Mixes

For the neutrals in this particular trio, I often only use Terra Cotta And Cobalt Blue to mix light and lovely grays. All three will mix to a brown, which can be useful, but also loses some of the transparency so I stick with just these two colors. Then I use very low water mixes of them to get either a brownish or a bluish black.

This provides the high-contrast look you see in many of my glass and metal illustrations. And though I use a sepia ink pen in my work, I can use this mix to add a quick black outline for effect when I’d like something to pop forward more or have a greater sense of contrast (yep, just with the same regular round pointy brush I was already using, hence the wiggly line work).

The feathered highlights in the lower left on the plate? My friend the paper towel. Used to quickly blot, lift and dry the paint before it bleeds to create a hard edge.

Charlie’s “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio – Watercolor Marble Mixing Chart

Here’s the full chart of my marble mixes and neutrals so you can see how it all looks together. This is admittedly a rather unique way to swatch color, but I hope you’ll find it helpful. To me, it really shows what these colors can do together and the fun mixes you can create!

Painting Other Shiny Happy Things

These three lovely Da Vinci watercolor tubes aren’t just for glass and metal, of course, they can be used to paint lots of other shiny happy things as well, from puppies to sunflowers. The sunflower is an example of the greens you can get from this palette. I typically use Leaf Green to get a very bright spring green, but Cobalt Blue and Nickel Azo Yellow mix to create a lovely natural sunny green color.

I’m rather found of painting food, and I use Terra Cotta and Nickel Azo Yellow often to create the crust of pies and even for corn flakes with bananas on top as shown below.

Lastly, I’m a huge lover of animals, particularly dogs. Yep, you can even use only my “Shiny” Da Vinci Watercolor Trio to create furry friends as well, from puppies to continental bulldogs. The “blacks” you can create in this trio are also great for border collies as well in achieving both the bluish black and brownish black found in their fur.

Not many dogs are purple, so the lack of a true red in this palette makes it work, but if you would like a bit more purple or lovely bright red, simply add a Da Vinci watercolor tube of Quinacridone Red and you’ll have a quattro palette that will allow you paint anything on the planet! (here’s an example of those 4 colors via a couple glasses of wine, which I’ll be enjoying now that we’re at the end of this post! For the record, it is in the evening that I’m writing this.)

Da Vinci Watercolor Trios Are Available Now!

Click Here To Buy My Trio And Make Your Own #DaVinciMoment!

I hope you enjoyed my overview of mixes in my “Shiny” trio and if you’d like to purchase a set for yourself, well now you can! Each trio is only $19.95 and includes a little brochure with information about the artist on the back and opens to reveal their mixing chart as a reference. My trio contains colors that would cost a quite a bit more if purchased separately, so it’s really a wonderful deal!

Also be sure to check out Tonya’s post and Jennifer’s post. They both share their gorgeous trios, and the wonderful art and mixes they created with them. For a limited time, we each receive a portion of sales, so thank you so much for supporting your fellow artists!

And also, for a limited time, these trios come with a sample of Hahnemühle Cézanne watercolor paper if you buy now! 

Whew, that was a lot to cover in one post! Hope you’ll love these new Da Vinci watercolor trio sets, hand-selected by artists. I can’t wait to see what you’ll make! Happy Painting!

Da Vinci Watercolor Trios are available now! Click Here To Buy Them ALL And Make Your Own #DaVinciMoment! 

Introducing Da Vinci Watercolor Trios! - Make a #DaVinciMoment with these new 8ml tube sets from a trio of artists! My own trio is available to purchase now! Check it out! #doodlewash #WorldWatercolorGroup #watercolor #watercolour Great ideas are happening at Da Vinci Paint Company! I'm so thrilled to share with you an awesome project that I've been working on with Marcello there, to kick off an upcoming line of 8ml Da Vinci watercolor tubes (adding to the collection of 15ml and 37ml watercolor tubes).

#art supplies #Da Vinci Paint #doodlewash #illustration #painting #watercolor #watercolor painting #watercolour

[3one3]

The Sequel - 777

Stranger Things

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea players, and random awesome OC’s

(okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Was it incredibly strange to have dinner with the family of the guy your wife dated while you were still married, or just a regular amount of strange?”

“It wasn’t as strange as I expected, to be fair. I think it was more uncomfortable for his girlfriend. His mom kept rubbing his friendship with Chris in her face, and then her own mom was talking about things, like...in a way to show that she thinks they should live together, I guess.”

“Did you want to go or did Chris make you?”

“I chose to go. I don’t have a lot of time with her.” And I wanted to see how the two of them interact these days, André added to his careful answer. Eden asked if he wanted to go, and he didn’t really answer that. He didn’t want to go. He volunteered to go to the Boxing Day dinner anyway.

“When is your house finished?” his Belgian friend asked. They were sitting in the indoor arena and watching Christina finish Kyle’s lesson. Yannis and Cornflakes were getting warmed up for theirs to follow.

“I don’t know. Maybe in a month. No one will work during the holidays. Everything stops. I want her to come live at the apartment as soon as the horse facilities are finished though. She doesn’t want to. She won’t say she doesn’t want to, but I know.”

“She doesn’t like it?”

“She likes it here.”

“Ahhhh. Say no more, my friend.”

The two players nodded without even looking at each other. André appreciated that Eden understood the situation with a minimal amount of explanation. It affirmed for him that his own thinking made sense. If someone else could see how his wife might use the apartment as an excuse not to have to leave her comfort zone, then he wasn’t grasping at straws to rationalize his instincts. The sheer anger in her voice as it filled the indoor arena made them both wince too. Their noses wrinkled and their eyes squinted in tandem.

“Where is your leg?” she asked Kyle, who was riding Calvin. “You’re asking a horse the size of a garbage truck to change direction in 10 feet. You can’t help him? You can’t give him a little support?” Her stance in the middle of the ring reflected her astonishment and anger about the rollback turn he performed between an oxer and a vertical, with one hand on her hip and the other palm open and questioning. “Yannis, earmuffs!” The other student in the ring put both reins in one hand and leaned over in his little saddle so that he could use both to cover his ears. “If you keep just trying to yank him the other way he’s going to fucking stop before you even get pointed in the other direction. How fucking hard is it to close your leg? Do it again and do it correctly or so help me-“

“I’ve got it,” Kyle assured, intimidated but not knocked down. Christina’s students knew they were in trouble when her incredulity pushed past sarcastically making fun of them to dropping F-bombs and calling on higher powers. They all had to learn that the right response to that was to be quiet and correct the problem, not get upset or defensive.

“Chris doesn’t have a lot of holiday cheer,” Eden observed in a whisper.

“She’s always like that when she teaches. Has she found another trainer for the boys yet? I try not to ask her about things related to leaving.” The German put his feet up on the top of the kickboard in front of him and used the leverage to lift the front legs of his chair up off the platform.

He’d been sitting there a while, first to watch his girl ride, and then the lesson. Lukas was cranky about everything imaginable at the house. His dad was happy to leave him with his grandparents and go hang out at the barn, hoping that they’d find some way to get him to nap away his petulance before he got back. Being cold in the ring and watching Christina work wasn’t exactly the most thrilling or satisfying way to spend an afternoon, but it was better than listening to screaming, literal toy throwing, and “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Papa, Daddy!”. Having Eden there for the latter half of the afternoon at least gave him someone to talk to. His girl was focused and serious and not much of a conversationalist in the saddle or the middle of the ring. Natasha joined the two players once Leo came in to warm up with his pony, and the three spectators discussed the kids and the upcoming New Year’s Eve festivities.

The Hazards booked a large corner at the all-windows Duck & Waffle, some 40ish floors up in the Heron Tower, to ring in the new year with friends over a 6-course tasting menu and the musical stylings of an “electro-swing” group. The theme of the night- for the whole restaurant, not just their part of the big party- was the Prohibition Era. It was time for the guys to play gangster again, but less seriously, and with more swing dancing. Christina accepted her and André’s invite without hesitation, because she wanted to dress and act like a flapper girl and drink vintage cocktails. She already ordered a cigarette holder on Amazon even though there would be no smoking in the restaurant. Some of the Chelsea squad would be there, and the ex-Blue was looking forward to hanging with his friends. And also a night out with his girl. She had more immediate designs on that.

“I’m so tiiiiireeeed,” she whined to him in her office after the lessons, hugging him but mostly just leaning on him and forcing him to hold her up. “Can we go out to eat? I don’t want leftovers, or to have to load the dishwasher. Do you know how many times I’ve had to run the dishwasher since you’ve been here? More importantly, do you know how many times I’ve had to unload the dishwasher? Let’s go somewhere. Just us. No parents and no baby. How about the pub in town? Pleeee-”

“Okay, okay, take a breath,” he said. “I’m convinced. You don’t have to keep selling.”

“Oh. Good.”

“Did you have your vitamins today?” André asked dubiously. “Why so tired?”

“Yes, I did. I’m tired because two guys got me horribly drunk in the Jacuzzi last night and I didn’t get to bed until 2:30. Do you know them?” Christina turned to look up at him from the middle of his chest, rubbing her chin across the zipper of his jacket because it got itchy as her skin thawed from being outside. There was a scruffy chin above, and then a smile, and then pretty cobalt blue eyes.

“Yeah, but I think just one of them got you drunk, and it was the one that wasn’t me.”

“You just watched, eh?”

“Well it was entertaining. I’m supposed to turn down cheap entertainment?”

“Yes. Gimme kiss.” The rider puckered her lips and closed her eyes to wait for a smooch. Her head still kind of hurt from the hot tub martinis that Rafa fed her after the dinner at Juan’s. Melanie was already asleep when she and André got back, but the Italian was wide awake and enjoying a drink, as usual. André invited him to the hot tub once he realized he wouldn’t be able to seduce Christina in there with him around anyway. The two riders shared some of the horse show circuit gossip, which the footballer found interesting. They knew about love affairs, scams, business deals gone bad, scandalous sales, etc.. There was a whole soap opera unfolding behind the in-gate. The world #1 became more gossipy with each sip of her two martinis.

That ranking was on her mind the next day as she went about her work. It partially prevented her from being very entertaining for André while he hung around. The Longines computer list would be updated in about a week’s time, and Christina would lose her spot at the top. It wouldn’t be a great way to start the new year, and she was unhappy about it. She was unhappy with herself for saying or even thinking of things like “I’m looking for an excuse not to” ride again, or to extend her little break. She wanted to focus and get her horses so well prepared that it wouldn’t matter how she was feeling at a show because they’d be too good to be affected. She wanted to get Nick back in shape so that she had another reliable horse to call on.

“You want to shower and change first or go now?” André asked after obliging with the kiss. He tried to reach into the arm holes of her down vest to rub her back but there wasn’t a lot of room in there with her track jacket underneath.

“Can we go now? I’ll just keep my hat on.” Her hand self-consciously reached for her knit beanie, which was hiding her greasy scalp.

“Sure. Take the boots off though, at least. Should we invite Eden and them, or nah?”

“Nah. Then we have to wait for them to put a big table together, and extra people take longer to decide what to have, and the kids are gonna make noise.” Christina really did hate complications. The most streamlined plan was the most attractive. It went along with the primary colors and straight lines concept her partner had been thinking about recently in the context of her choices. “Just you and me,” she concluded in a sweet voice before letting go to unzip her boots.  

“I know you’ll miss them, but at least once you move you have two less kids to teach all the time, yeah?” André leaned on her desk and glanced at the big calendar with all the lessons and appointments and ship dates.

“Ehh it’s not like they take up a ton of time. It takes me an hour and a half to do the both of them and they only have lessons a couple of times a week,” the trainer shrugged. Fudge it’s cold, she thought as soon as her foot was free of the right boot. Her leg was kind of sweaty from wearing them all day, so it didn’t matter that it was fairly warm in the office. Fresh air and sweaty boot sock always resulted in shivers. That was a comfortingly familiar sensation for her though- one she’d experienced a million times in her life, just like the wonderfully cool feeling of sliding a boot off in summer, peeling the knee-high stocking down, undoing the Velcro cuff at the bottom of the breeches, and pulling them halfway up her calf before slipping into flip-flops. In winter it was running shoes and the socks stayed on. “I’m gonna have the new horse to take up the time anyway.”

“What new horse?”

“The Cartegena horse, from Stephex,” she answered absently, intent on fixing the tongue of her sneaker, which was bunched up below the laces.

“You never said anything about taking him on,” André said, his intonation level but his face confused, and maybe even angry when she looked up. Christina was confused too.

“Yes I did. Remember I said I talked to Stephan about bringing him over once I’m in the new place since I don’t have room here? I’m going to show him in big stuff and Kyle is going to show him in...less-big stuff. He’s not too tall for a tiny horse.”

“The only conversation we had about the horse in Belgium was when you got to Dortmund that night and said he was nice and that he was afraid of the poofy fur thing on the top of your hat.”

“How do you not remember this? I talked to you right after I got off the phone with-“ Oops. No I didn’t. That was totally Juan, the rider realized, feeling rather dumb and also quite guilty for mixing up the two. I’m a moron. An insensitive one, at that. “Okay maybe not,” she conceded. “I thought I told you. After I talked to Stephan I was like “Oh, call Schü and tell him the good news”, but then Juan called and-“

“And you can’t remember the difference between me and him? Really?” André folded his arms and crossed one foot over the other. His countenance was the picture of disgust.

“No I- I guess in my mind I had just ticked the box already, and I honestly haven’t thought a single second about it since then. I told Stephan I’d have Tim get in touch with him about a contract when I know when I can take him, in case they find a better solution for him in the mean time. I’m sorry,” Christina replied earnestly while putting her other shoe on. “It’s really not a big deal though. I’m not going to any extra shows for him or anything. I mostly agreed just to get something else for Kyle to show. He does so well with Calvin and I was fine with them doing low stuff but I don’t like the idea of green rider showing green horse in the big leagues, and Cal is definitely still green. This horse has plenty of experience up to just below the top, so he should be okay there.

“Why don’t you tell my anything anymore?” the player asked very frankly. Nothing. She tells me nothing. She had some kind of serious panic attack about the horse show and not only did she not call me while it was happening, she didn’t even tell me about it until a week later. She doesn’t tell me we’re getting another horse. She only mentioned that she’s going to Spain with Juan to visit sick kids when we were on the way to his place, probably because she just realized he could mention it. She still hasn’t said anything about her thigh being completely better and her ankle hurting less. I wouldn’t know if I didn’t work out with her this morning. He was passive aggressive inside and out, but he was also hurt. It didn’t feel good to learn things about his girl by accident, or after everyone else. It didn’t feel good to learn that he wasn’t the person she wanted to share everything with right away.

“I do.” She didn’t put up a very fervent defense.

“Yeah. Right. Okay.”

“Babe.”

“What? I can’t be annoyed that you don’t talk to me about your life?”

“I mean, to be honest, I would prefer you were a lot more than annoyed if that were true, but it’s not. I talk to you.” I understand I made a boo-boo here but it’s not part of a grand scheme to cut him out of things. Christina resented the implication that she didn’t communicate, and really resented the passive aggressiveness. If I ever really did cut him out, he should be sad about it. Not...whatever this is.

“Not like you used to.”

“Well I used to see you every day, and we used to go to bed at the same time every day because we didn’t live in different time zones.”

“Don’t get smug with me, pretty girl,” he warned. There was a real fight brewing and he was only half-heartedly interested in heading it off. The facts of the case and her attitude about it made part of him welcome an argument and opportunity to air his grievances in a satisfyingly vitriolic way. That was what happened. That was how their relationship got so tetchy throughout the Fall. André got so fed up with what she did and how she did it that he needed an outlet and there was like a filter on it that turned everything that came out into something harsh, cutting, and unkind. It was the only thing that made him feel better, because he couldn’t do anything about the frustration, the disappointment, and the isolation. Indulging the anger part was all he had available to him.

“Can we just drop this a go eat?” his wife sighed. As usual, she lacked the appetite for the fight. A little fire still burned inside of her, keeping her willfulness and abundance of confidence in her ability to argue alive, but it was just a flicker. There was just enough to engage in the beginning- to dip her toe into the row and test it out- and not enough to drive her to pursue a victory, or even an extended standoff. Christina just sought the most painless and speedy conclusion. In the past, André’s being more interested in having her tell him things so that he would know she wanted to tell him things than he was in actually knowing and understanding the things would have really angered her and been something perfect to latch onto and use to beat him. The former was about ego, and the latter was about closeness. She would have slaughtered him for the significance of that. In a way, her learned unwillingness to fight fed the beast. Her partner thought he was winning all the time, and that his feelings were justified. Her forfeiture meant he never had pause or cause to reconsider.

They got past the newest little drama in due course. First there was a silent car ride, and then a cagey period in which soup was eaten and some small talk happened, and then by the time her chicken kebobs, rice, and peas and his baked salmon salad were served, normal conversation had resumed. Tensions were over. Everything was fine. Christina did bedtime for Lukas when they got home, and then took a shower, and she seemed happy enough to be around her husband. So it surprised him when she then announced her intention to spend a while in the study to “work”. He asked her what sort of work she meant, and she explained that she wanted to look at the FEI calendar for the coming months and also update her condition book with training and fitness notes for the horses. The door was shut so that she could play music without disturbing the rest of the family watching TV, though she kept the volume so low nobody would have heard it in the foyer let alone across it in the living room.

Her artist of choice was Einaudi. His contemporary classical music was the best for “working” usually. It didn’t distract her. It was unlikely to manipulate her mood. It was just helpful background noise to block the silence that would distract her. But it did steal her attention away, or she subconsciously wanted it to and let it. And it did alter her mood a bit. She caught herself staring into space three times before concluding that her heart wasn’t in writing in the notebook. It wasn’t in anything. There was nothing gripping enough to focus her mind- not the notes and the horses, not the small fight with André, not the issue at the core of the fight, not her conflicted heart, not the Longines ranking. Christina just zoned out and followed the music at times powerful, moving, emotional, compelling, or just plain beautiful. The composer was a bit of a disappointment to her when they met. As a person, he wasn’t all that interesting or significant. They didn’t get a chance to work together much. He did his thing for the video shoot and she did hers. He did guarantee her VIP treatment at any of his shows though, and naturally she planned to use the invite with Juan. They just never made an actual plan. After looking through the window between the two bookcases for 10 minutes, at nothing but darkness outside, she swiveled in her chair some and typed his name into Chrome on her new computer to find his tour schedule. He was headed Down Under until April, when he’d play one sold out show in Zurich and another in Tokyo preceding a month long break. The tour resumed in Berlin, and he’d play back-to-back nights in London in June. Wedged right in between Germany and England was a concert in Switzerland, in Locarno, the picturesque little town on Lake Maggiore where Christina and André got married.

The venue listed was “Piazza Grande”, and the rider began to feel excitement, picturing a big outdoor event like those André Rieu concerts she watched with her dad on TV. She went back to Google to look it up, images in her head of a square lined in cafes with cute little tables and candles, full to the brim with happy people enjoying Einaudi’s wonderful and moving music with their bottles of wine, the experience enhanced by the scale on which it was shared. The World Cup winner covered her mouth when the pictures of Piazza Grande appeared on the screen. Not only was it a square just like she imagined, but it was one with buildings in a rainbow of colors. Mint green, soft yellow, salmon, canary, peach fuzz, white, baby blue- each three or four storey building was a different color, and each one had lots of windows, and each window had a little balcony, and beyond them were the mountains she explored with André in a top-down Jaguar during their honeymoon. The setting was absolutely perfect except for one thing. The date she could see there with her for the magically romantic evening was Juan.

“I have to tell you about something and I want you to give me your honest analysis,” she explained to the Spaniard when he picked up her call. “Your feedback. Everything you think about it, okay?”

“Okay,” he laughed. His ex-girlfriend hadn’t given any kind of context for her call yet, but she made her urgency known. She felt like there was some kind of fate situation presenting itself and it alarmed and excited her in equal measures.

“I looked up Einaudi’s tour dates just now to see when we could go, and he’s doing a concert in the big plaza in Locarno at the beginning of the summer. It’s the kind with all different color buildings around it, and paving stones, and outdoor cafes with awnings. You remember Locarno, right? Where I got married?”

“Yes. I remember the plaza.”

“I think I only drove near it. We didn’t leave the lake much. But anyway, I’m looking at these pictures of this beautiful, quintessentially European town square next to the most beautiful Italian and Swiss lake, and I’m imagining “Primavera” and “Divenire” happening for thousands of people in folding chairs and hundreds more at beat up wooden tables in front of the awnings and under the kind of starscape you get out there away from big cities, and I want to be there...with you. I think it would be amazing, in the strictest sense of the word and not in the casual way I throw it around. It would be amazing. I want to go. But I have so many terrible feelings about it. How can I want to go have that amazing night with someone who isn’t André in the place where we got married? How can I want you to go there with me when I know it’s just a reminder for you of how hard that day must have been for you, and the persisting reality of what happened that day? Am I a sadist and a masochist and a generally inconsiderate person? What does it mean? What does it meeeeeeean, Juanin?”

“Okay, to start, if you want someone to give you an actual critique of your thoughts then you really should see a therapist, cariña,” the Chelsea man told her with an obvious smile. “Then at least you get an impartial one. If you ask me what I think, you always have to consider that I answer with my own interests in mind, sí? Then you have to analyze what I said about what you said. How confusing! But in this case, I don’t think you need to be as panicked as you sound. It’s normal to want to go to the concert with me. You and I love the music together, and André doesn’t like it. As you said once before, you and I experience it the same way, so it’s better together. I don’t think it matters that you got married a few kilometers from there, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with having “amazing” nights with people other than André. Amazing nights with friends are not against the law, that I know of. Almost nothing is against the law in Switzerland, so...”

“That is patently untrue. Motor racing is against the law in Switzerland, and I think I read that keeping one pet is illegal. If you want a cat, you have to get two. If you want a gerbil, you need more than one. I think there are different minimums for each type. And this is to prevent loneliness, not anything to do with making more business for pet stores.”

“Where did you read that?”

“The Internet.”

“Then it must be true.”

“Shut up! The racing thing is real. I know for sure. The only area in Switzerland where nothing is illegal is banking.”

“Let me know if you find anything on the Internet about it being illegal to go to a concert with a friend.”

“You’re not helping. I have serious conflicts here. I have serious feelings that I don’t know how to feel about.” How does he not see how significant a thing it is that I want to do this thing, that I know how wrong it is because of context and everything, and that I still want to do it? Surely there is meaning in there, Christina whined to herself as her “friend” chuckled at her over the phone. She held it to her ear with the help of her shoulder and used both hands on the armrests to lift her butt off the chair so that she could fold her legs under, and the leather squeaked as it detached from her bare thighs.

“So stop having them,” Juan suggested. “Stop looking for great meaning in everything. Just do what you want,” he yawned. “No reason to get hysterical because you have feelings about the absence of feelings, or the disregard of feelings, or whatever it is you’re trying to say.”

“Are you typing something? I hear typing. You’re so Googling the pet thing.” The equestrian star with the star-print shorts did want to be taken seriously, but she also saw some sense in his point. That in itself upset her too. She didn’t like flying off the handle over the littlest things so much recently. She got panicky over things that didn’t require panic, and it escalated so quickly whether it was getting dressed for the horse show, seeing him kiss Taylor, or thinking about the eternal purgatory she believed she could be caught in between him and her husband.

“I’m looking up the weather. My cousins want to sightsee tomorrow since I have off.”

“Oh. Fun.”

“What are some good sights to see with kids?”

“Aw, you ask me that like I’m one of those experienced moms who knows what she’s doing,” Christina chuckled sarcastically. “I have no idea. The aquarium? Big Ben? The LEGO place?”

“I didn’t ask because you’re a mother. I asked because you’re a child.”

“You’re a child.”

“Okay.”

“You haven’t provided any help at all,” she told him, contrite and disappointed. He’s supposed to translate my mental tornado into like one easily digestible sentence that makes it easy to understand and mitigate. What is this nonsense?

“Do you want me to tell you that what you’re envisioning for the concert is a romantic date and it means you should leave him and be with me? Are we in some opposite world now where when I say that to you it doesn’t just upset you and make your life more difficult? I don’t understand what you want, Chris. You say to stop that, and even I said I shouldn’t do that because it’s so hard for you. Now you look at things the same way and you want me to say it? To confirm what it means? I don’t understand. I thought you wanted me to say it’s nothing.” The Spaniard sounded disappointed too, and obviously a little frustrated. Mostly he sounded like a person who felt boxed in and could do no right, which was slightly comforting to Christina’s ears solely because she was so used to feeling that way herself and to have someone demonstrate real empathy made her feel like someone actually understood.

“I just want you to say what you really think it means, not what you think I want or need to near.”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“It does to me.”

“No it doesn’t. I tell you, you get upset about it for a while, and then you ignore it. Always. It’s always the same, cariña. I don’t feel like doing this tonight,” the player sighed. His friend could tell he wasn’t just trying to get her off the phone, or just tired from the busy schedule. He was asking her not to make him take her through the evidence that supported his belief that she really wanted to be with him. He pointed out that each time he did that- like when he asked her to examine why she was willing to sleep with him even when she knew it hurt André- she experienced a major crisis of confidence, retreated from her relationships with both midfielders, and then ultimately decided she couldn’t decide and should just stick with what she had. Christina knew the process was unfair to him, unfair to her husband, and ravaging on herself. Putting off a decision indefinitely wasn’t so great on her wellbeing either, nor particularly satisfying for either of the guys, but it was at least more peaceful and manageable. Juan was evidently tired of being put through it all only to “lose” again in the end when the love of his life failed to summon the conviction or enough courage to make the change he thought she truly wanted.

“I’m sorry,” the rider told him quietly.

“It’s fine,” he said. Then Christina didn’t know what else to say. She understood what he didn’t feel like talking about and she understood why, and it made her feel guilty. She knew he didn’t want to hear about that either. She knew he must be tired of her pity and regret. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay? We’re thinking about bowling before everybody leaves. Maybe you want to come.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, cariña. Te quiero.”

She went back to staring out the window, not really thinking anything. Only the need to pee brought her out of the idle trance. And then she wanted something sweet to nibble on.

“What do you have, Prinzessin?” André inquired when Christina turned up at the sofa with two small bowls. He didn’t even hear her emerge from the study or do anything in the kitchen, but then he and his parents watched TV with the volume quite high and he was close to falling asleep.

“Fruit.” His wife offered one bowl across the couch to her in-laws, and plopped next to him with the other. She had mango chunks for him in half the bowl and sliced strawberries for herself. “Want some?” He pinched a piece of mango and sat up some to eat it, and to make her usual spot under his arm available to her if she wanted it. She immediately leaned over on him and folded her legs up so they’d fit under his blanket.

“Did you get your work done?” André asked, kissing her head as she got settled and the two Toy Fox terriers got settled around her. They didn’t fail to notice there was something happening in the kitchen with food before.

“I don’t feel like doing it. I just want to sit with you.”

What discouraging realization has she made about her schedule or her horses that has her in quiet-no-eye-contact-desperate-to-cuddle mode, he questioned.