#or at least make me feel so so so much worse abt it

[allhappyandgay]

*gives someone one tiny peek behind the curtain that is my internal world without elaborating*

my avpd brain: I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN LIKE THIS *had 0 plans on it happening at all let alone any other way*

#I told my brother “yeah like Im p sure Im a guy” over text #and because this is something I instensly struggle with talking or even thinking abt and have been WRACKING my FUCKING BRAIN constantly abt #not being able to tell anyone or how to tell anyone I feel like I am going to die #and on top of that. all he did was like the message #which. if u know what avpd is like. yeah I wanted to end it #it’s so hard because it keeps being proven to me every time I SLIGHTLY open up to someone that it will only do harm for me #it will only make things worse #or at least make me feel so so so much worse abt it #which just worsens everything #cuz then I downplay all of my experiences I told them about #so that it doesn’t seem as bad as it is #or as serious as it really really is for me #and then I decide not to ever open up to anyone else ever again #and it keeps happening. makes it so fucking hard to be real w ppl and oh my god I just want this to be over #I want to rip my skin off #nobody knows me #and if they did #they would leave #but I can’t tell what’s worse #cuz it’s not like we have a real relationship in the first place #augh #dens.thots #AvPD #avoidant personality disorder

[noahtally-famous]

toxic yaoi dave and keith. the only thing they have in common is that they liked the same girl. keith rubs it in dave's face every waking moment he can that, unlike dave, sky was his girlfriend for a time bc he knows it gets under dave's skin; dave seemingly looking unimpressed--though one eye twitches--retorts without a beat that it was bc of dave that keith's alleged girlfriend conveniently forgot abt him and fell for dave in the show--keith's seething. they both despise each other. they make sure everyone knows it. but there's also this tension that gets people wondering. and they also kiss (angrily and otherwise). the kings of feelings denial, hate makeouts, and angry kissing

#help this was in my drafts for idk how long #ngl though still a win imo #td dave #td keith #they both have the capability to make each other so much worse #but after a point of time only THEY can do that. if anyone else tries to--nope not happening. not on their watch #tdpi #total drama pahkitew island #they say “i love you” hatefully you feel? #sky's not amused whatsoever #she's like 'stop bringing ME into your masculinity rivalry' #and since then they've been finding the most random things to rub in the other's face #“at least I can cook what can you do you useless lump?” “um just abt every sport in the world twig-arms” #total drama #noahtally-famous #kit stuff #td #deith? daveith? kave?

[winterdusktales]

oh what a good time to be on the ikon tag today

#not a single soul on bobbys side sksksk #what was he expecting when he wrote those essays #not a single thought behind it #'STOP THE WAR' broooo #hes so dumb its just making me laugh #im sooo relieved i unstanned likeee #his toxic positivity has always icked me but #feels like hes worse now #at least i still liked him as a performer but then his recent solo music is also mehhh #icb hes the next member i liked after junhoe and hanbin #ive always tried to avoid talking shit abt them in public but hes getting what he deserves #read all those twts against him w the biggest grin on my face #ikon shouldve disbanded a looong time ago #but what do u expect from ppl who dont have the guts to go solo without the ikon name #i have so much to say abt this but thats another topic for another day #im just so so tired of them #can they disband alr i know junhoe is tired of singing bad songs #ps when i say ikon it excludes junhoe hes no ikon to me #jana rambles

[yioh]

genshin player’s switch up on sumeru characters will haunt me forever honestly i’ve never seen such a large amnt of people act so utterly fake in such a small period of time😭

#everyone really pretended they cared abt the colourism and racism HNDBDJXBXXJ #sumeru as a whole still makes me feel so uncomfy to this day with the weird ass storyline and colourism and whitening of several characters #but now everyone is just fawning over how sexy al haitham and kaveh are or how cute nahida is like #😭 idk man i can’t stand it #it annoys me soooooooooooo much #even worse how sumeru characters are plastered all over my social media everywhere #the switch up of how big of a deal everyone made the sumeru design reveal to be at the start only for their banners and character popularity #to be some of the highest ones #like . likeeeeee ………….. #feels so gross #anyways rant over i’m gonna stay in my lil mondstadt liyue bubble forever lol #not that those nations are perfect either but at least it isn’t tinged with the feeling of disgust towards fans 😭 #also the amount of racism and colourism i saw people blatantly show with the release of sumeru was so crazy it makes my skin crawl #anyways i rly hate like 99% of sumeru ships and i don’t get how everyone can just brainlessly enjoy this region’s characters at all #esp when they are all SO white it bugs me to no end in hate it i hateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee #still so disappointed with kaveh’s design especially i think he was my last straw #i was hoping so bad he wouldn’t be some basic white bitch but he came out looking like btec howl PLEASE 🤨 #and the way everyone loves him just makes me hate him more lmfaooo #the most basic and boring design in the whole world it makes me feel Nothing at all

[seventh-district]

i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)

#Seven’s Public Diary #vent #vent post #cw vent #cw vent post #cw health #cw heart #i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it #i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help #sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me #he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me #sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree #have i Ever actually relaxed #hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch #anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things #a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal #so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now #and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser #i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever #if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked #all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is #every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse #anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches #‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now #i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC #which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it #i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead #anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t. #it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about #i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father

[ozlices]

im like sincerely so sorry bc my most shameful flaw is that envy is one of my favorite characters in the entirety of fma which is like. listen it's genuinely irredeemable but she knew exactly what she was doing when she made envy the pinnacle of gender envy bc my non-binary ass is NOT immune to feeling the gender envy to the highest degree for that little freak

#mine #i feel less ashamed for being hornee abt shin tsukimi do u understand. how humiliating that is. #literally dont even perceive me this is my greatest sin ok AT LEAST IM SELF AWARE #THEY LITERALLY DO ALL THE MOST HEINOUS SHIT IN THE ENTIRE SERIES NEXT TO KIMBLEE #AND THEY /BOTH/ GET OFF ON IT TOO WHICH MAKES IT WORSE #BUT THEYRE JUST SO PAINFULLY GENDER IM TOO WEAK TO RESIST #i want their voice. i want it so bad it's so painful i hate them so much. but i also adore them. and hate myself for that #she was targeting ME SPECIFICALLY when she made them frfrfrfr #fma #i hesitate to even put this in a tag but i feel like other trans ppl will get it. right. u get it right or am i just a lonesome fool #also. js. i hate kimblee. i fucking DESPISE kimblee actually. worst piece of shit ever in the whole series. #i actually got mad bc i forgot just how long he lasts in the series. FAR TOO LONG IF U ASK ME. #& also. i. feel like. i should get points too bc envy is rly the only absolute irredeemable piece of shit i actually enjoy #bc usually. i am a sheep. & i HATE them. but. i am also a sheep. to gender envy. sooooo. unsurprising exception. #but like otherwise unless u wanna count like my man dracula from castlevania which i feel like is not comparable bc he was VALID #envy is the only villain i actually truly like. any other 'villain' i like is more... morally grey. or. understandable. u know. u get it. #anyway. dont ever perceive me for this im ashamed #& also no the irony of having the mention of jealousy/envy as a my most strict boundary & yet having the literal embodiment of envy #as one of my fav characters in my favorite anime of all time is not lost on me. i am a walking contradiction we all know this #at least they're not THE favorite. u can take a very predictable guess on who that title goes to

[rosykims]

if maric theirin has a million haters then i am one of them. if maric theirin has ten haters then I am one of them. if maric theirin has only one hater then that is me. if maric theirin has no haters then that means I am no longer on earth

#i REALLY thought reading the books would make me more sympathetic to him but it actually just made me hate him so much worse lol #like before tst i was indifferent abt him. bordering on irritated if i thought abt him particularly hard #but hes actually soooooo fucking annoying and awful. im enjoying the calling more than tst so far #but every time maric's pov pops up im feeling myself aging at the speed of sound #the thing is ive never really hated ANY companion/protag in da like ever until now. honestly kind of impressive that hes so unlikeable dfjh #i think a lot of it is just gaider too but like. at least i enjoyed tst!loghain ! and genevieve is actually like a new top 10 fave DA chara #so idk. as ehh as his writing is i can appreciate his characters at least some of the time... except for Thee character <3 #maric theirin i am blowing you up with my mind #in saying that i think im gonna jump straight into tsg after this solely bc im praying on his downfall too hard to wait <3

[aeide-thea]

still picking my way thru s3 of the witcher episode by agonizing episode but it's going SO slowly bc every time i watch one it's just like. right. this show is a B movie now and not in a good way

#like it's not like NONE of it has been fun but it's just like. i enjoy the fandom but the source material is. not actually good #and people SO badly want to credit it with all this depth and sophistication it just absolutely does not have #but s1 was at least like. coherent and fun if unsubtle #s2 and s3 have just been this big spiral into like. an attempt at Fantasy Saga #which would be fine if they were good enough at storytelling to do that coherently #but unfortunately it's just like. disconnected scene after disconnected scene strung together by mediocre action and worse humor #all of which have looked weirdly pastede-on-yay in a way i don't know enough formal film language to articulate #but it's just like. it doesn't feel like the characters are actually moving through the world‚ visually #it's just costumed ppl shoehorned into backgrounds that are either (1) cartoonishly stagey (2) dreary irl countryside somewhere (3) bad CGI #and then geralt gets whumped and it's like. wait NOW you want us to care abt him? after sidelining him all season? #like. idk. structurally and emotionally the writing just sucks #and then the acting and visuals are. largely also bad. lol. #jaskier is probably one of the best bits really but then they give him so much material that's absolutely clownish #and it's like. i'm not opposed to humor but it's remarkable the way the juxtaposition of his tone with the overall tone of the show #manages to make BOTH vibes seem stupid somehow. honestly an achievement #however. big fan of predicted-by-me-but-still-good betrayal scene. like. he didn't even seem surprised which was perf honestly #'obviously you lived down to my expectations‚ that's just how life goes and has gone ever since geralt blew up at me on that mountain' #just like. makes total sense and also grants him some actual depth and dignity #now do that the whole time with all the characters challenge… #tvblogging #(i realize no1 currs but like. i do like 2 record my Thots On Media otherwise they all fall out of my head like a sieve)

[risingsunresistance]

btw sorry to all my anons but i am probably not turning anon back on, at least not for A LONG TIME, it's taken away a lot of anxiety i was having about posting here </3

not that i've gotten many asks recently anyways, but still

#i know at least one of you were on anon bc you fifnt even have a tumblr account... sorry :( #i leave anon on for your guys' sanity but now i gotta keep it off for my own #i know it sucks bc im also someone who prefers anon but. it makes me feel a bit. safer i guess? knowing who is sending it #just getting too stressed out #could take another break but that made it worse #so i've just been posting abt whatever i feel like posting about #songs. pokemon. skyblock stuff as usual. just me and my friends goofing around on hypixel #trying to vent a bit more bc clearly i need it lmao #not too much tho bc dwelling on everything SUCKS. so just a little bit. #been refreshing #chat

[arundolyn]

ngl i sometimes forget cishet nerdbros exist and are the only ones who like kenny pretty much, like to the point of nigh worship, which is like On Brand. these bitches like genuinely try to make him some kind of christ figure almost as if he doesnt fucking suck terribly and is mediocre and iirc its never even CONFIRMED confirmed he ever did the one good merciful act that he ever SEEMED to and put him in We Don’t Know If He Died limbo. and its very funny also how they hate anyone who rightfully calls kenny out on being an ass and say theyre weak cowards (BEN. BEN. BEN.) or evil and lying (JANE! WHO WAS FUCKING CORRECT ALWAYS! YOU HATE HER CAUSE SHES RIGHT). anyone who killed jane over kenny is wrong and a coward and he dies anyway so die mad.

admittedly there is SOME nuance and depth to kenny’s character for sure. but these people are just straight up making shit up completely all the time. cope and seethe die mad etc etc your cool white guy died. boo hoo. which is really funny these were probably the same bitches crying when vasco wasnt playable anymore in indivisible and replaced by a cooler black man and genuinely got big baby mad when there was not a playable white man anymore. that happened

#crow.txt #yes the game is about making choices But there are wrong choices (picking kenny over literally anyone else for anything ever) #IDK HE SUCKS TOO MUCH FOR ME TO JUSTFIY IT! HE SUCKS IN S2! DIE MAD IDC! #idk idc i dont give a god damn kenny aint shit and never was. kenny fans are the signora mains of twdg #twdgposting #jane also dies anyway to be fair but i mean at least it wasnt as insane and gruesome i suppose? for her at least? #and its sadder imo. whatever whatever kenny whatever the fuck jane literally like hung herself from the ceiling fan. which like #iirc it was on. and i feel terrible for laughing. but like she was literally slowly rotating. as a zombie. im mad it was so fucked up #but in my brain it was funny just looking back. like it was shocking but did you have to do it in the funniest way possible. girl. #not to mention kenny like. being southern Obviously. says some fucking WILD shit a few times #and implies some wild ass shit that i dont appreciate. idk abt yall but im not gonna side with the racist redneck guy #hes literally the type to own a confederate flag. i bet he did in the first draft of the game #idk unpopular opinion i like ben and im fucked up over like..... sure i get why kenny was pissed. but jesus fucking christ have some empathy #you arent the fucking protagonist surprise surprise! though he sure does want to be #these are the kind of people who saw ben standing up for himself and somehow didnt like. care. which i cannot fathom #like honestly kenny aint fucking shit!!!!!!!!!! im actually mad now #ben went through sooooo much worse. like a LOT fucking worse. but its always about kenny of course. #kenny apparently goes so far as to praise lee if he lets ben fucking die in crawford which. fuck you for that #and ben CLEARLY feels fucking TERRIBLE about it the whole time and is absolutely riddled with guilt after he ruins kenny's family #and is honestly just kinda telling people to kill him after cause he feels he deserves it and shit. and then his death IS sad as fuck #if you spared him from falling in the bell tower thing. like arguably worse than breaking his legs and being eaten alive maybe #idk i just like the cringe little failboy. he was doing his best. BEN did nothing wrong actually i think. kenny genuinely sucked #ben was just scared and confused. justice for ben 2k22. #like even after the supposed mercy kill kenny shit talks him postmortem after purportedly starting to understand him #what is his fucking issue. didnt ben literally like JUST graduate from high school. if he had graduated at all. christ i hate kenny. #...and also the nerdbro kenny obsession is totally cause hes like the white guy power fantasy every dude like that has in apocalypse setting #theyre always Cool and Right and doing the Best For Who They Care About while being a fucking asshole to everyone else #and from the outside seeming like an utter fucking tool in spite of the times they do good. cant stand him #hot takes from me today i guess?

[caruliaa]

no offence but why are all the solutions to issues caused by trauma therapy. what if i Cant do that right but still want to not be like this.

#like why is this website like 'analyze what u think the cause of this issue is if u think its a childhood trauma get therapy for ur trauma #if not then do xyz thing thats much easier than having access to therapy' #like is there an xyz for when the root is trauma. please plese please. at least tell me im allowed to talk to ppl abt it #idk if its smart for me to do that or not #im actually getting kind of like. rly upset suddenly like idk #like i feel like the step one i keep being presented in healing and getting better with issues caused by trauma is. #not being in the situation that caused the trauma. but it feels so impossible for me to ever get out #and im just trying to do what i can to like. heal or deal with it as much as i can but ik thats not much when im still in tht situation #and feel so trapped in it #like just. ugh such a selfish thing to say abt an issue tht affects so many others sm worse than me #but like. couldnt late stage capitalism and the recession its brings with it not have happened like. 20 yrs from now #so i didnt have to deal with the fact that getting out of my traumatic situation is impossible alongside the traumatic situation #just idk. it all sucks sm and i just wanna get out of it. can we please find a way to make tumblr accts private so #i can fianlly start a facking yt without weirdos deciding the interactions w freinds and vent posts i use this acct for #are their entertainment bc ithink having a 'job' saying my silly little thoguhts abt media online is my only hope love and light #flappy rambles

[szczylpierdolony]

maybe the psych ward thing wasn’t a bad idea

#overwhelmed is an understatement i feel like i’m gonna cry #can’t do anything bc i’m lazy as shit and then i remember maybe it’s bc of depression #but at the same time going at a slower pace makes me lazy and i need a right schedule to do things #but that makes me anxious and incapable of doing anything #so it’s just hell huh #and this makes me feel even worse and therefore i’m even more tired and unable to do what i have to #but the idea of psych ward also stresses me out bc of how much i’ll miss out on #like i’ll have to catch up and i don’t think i’ll be able to do that #guess taking a break would mean i’d get better at least a bit but i don’t think that’ll happen like it’s not possible #i can’t get better bc if i do that means there was never anything wrong so i was just making a scene and i should’ve just shut up or kms #i feel like puking and crying all the time #and stressed out beyond comprehension #for no reason #and i know this makes me such a bitch but it’s so exhausting when everyone around you keeps talking abt how ‘omg were all soo mentally ill’ #like it’s fun or sth #bc ig we are! but somehow i’m the only one who can’t deal with anything #and i don’t really have an excuse to be this stupid and lazy #bc everyone else is doing ok and keeping up and studying and getting good grades and dating and everything #and i start bawling bc i get a text and i feel like i can’t keep up bc i’m so tired #i wish i was dead

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#today in things that stress me out. my academic interests have diverged significant from what i do in the lab #which is nice on one hand bc i am v passionately interested in something sciency again and it feels like its been a while since that #happened. but on the other hand it means that my workaholic tendencies are no longer being applied to my actual job #like im kind of just doing normal hours for like actual job stuff. which stresses me tf out bc i never feel like im doing enough #and my overdoing it has transfered over to drawing way too much in one sitting while listening to paleo podcasts and trying #to memorize the geologic time scale #so im still overextending bc im focused all the time and i dont sleep enough but its not applied to my job #and part of my brain cant handle that so it forces me to suffer no matter what. sigh. stupid exhausting brain #and i know im being irrational about it which somehow makes it worse #but idk i guess maybe its a little more healthy bc im trying to do something i like in my free time. even if im still overdoing it #like idk if i can express how exhausting it is to like something but ur brain forces u to think abt it all the time and feel guilty abt #thst being ur focus but u cant help it. and its like grinding chalk into the sidewalk. i just burn out on the things i like so fast #bc i cant regulate. im astounded that ive been on this narut0 kick for like 7months bc so often my obsession makes me so tired #but here i am. still staying strong dattebayo hahaha. nah it has been nice not to find anything new tho lol #sigh... idk i just got way way too close to like full on mental collapse with my photosynthesis measurements so im trying to get the #warmth back into my body before i have to jump back into that frozen water #i think i have at least another month before the machines get back and then ill have at least 3 or 4 projects to run samples for #was it wise of me to agree to doing all that? no absolutely not. but the data will be interesting #and itll be helpful. and literally no one else wants to do it so here i am. damaging myself for science. ay ay ay #whatever. im going off to do field work next week with my boss so maybe thatll get me out of my head #unrelated

[neuropteran]

my friend today said something kind of weird about how he thought a couple of a mutual friends dating in hs was “obviously going to happen” and it makes me feel weird abt all the stuff I’ve said to him abt that person, bc like he’s always telling me i’m not special for knowing things or like, quietly asking me to tone myself down when talking abt them and i know i’m a lot & yeah, i need someone who tells me to not read into things but like. I straight up told someone else that multiple ppl have said they think that person is into me and i expressed my feelings like “okay and what can i do about that?” and it felt good to say but like. maybe i’m being ridiculous and thinking i’m special when i’m clearly not. i don’t know. i need to stop talking about that person, i need to stop thinking about them, and i can’t fucking help myself we were talking about something else and i made the conversation abt that person and i just!!!!!! idk i almost want to say something to my friend like “do you think everyone’s crazy for thinking there’s something there” just so i can have my heart ripped out like. it would be easier if like he could tell me i was reading too much into anything.

#ugh i just. It’s worse when other ppl see something #And everyone I talk to is like. Wow he’s into you and it’s like!!!!!!!!!! At least if it was me being crazy it was just me #idk #It makes me feel kind of unlovable too like maybe the only reason is bc im something new or different #Also my friend said that actually that perosn is a silly funny goofy person and I ….. #i wonder if I’m actually not enough #maybe I’m not enough. And sometimes I see like. Idk ppl making fun of girls being jealous abt their boyfriends interest in other girls #And i feel like. Bad in a way. Like I’m not doing anything I’m just existing and being myself and I’m not trying to do anything #but It must feel like shit if ur find out your boyfriend is emotionally cheating on u #idk Idk im struggling with feeling like. A bad person even tho I haven’t done anything wrong #like im not enough as myself and that person is also bad and too much idk #I feel so. unlovable. no one cares about me #it’s all ‘someone will see you for you and love you’ but what if they don’t. What if no one ever rlly does? What if it’s a dude with a #relationship long enough to be in middle school who’s a bit of a coward. #what If it’s literally bc he’s bored and his relationship is stagnant and you’re only interesting bc he hasn’t worked out you’re boring yet #what if the only thing that attracts ppl is that ur new #:| #I’m so tired of being alone. Sometimes it gets so much I almost regret having boundaries

[yamikawas]

i wish yoomtah was here so she could tell me she loves me whenever i need it and also kill anyone who tries to get in between us

#i wish [dead to me] was dead i wish j*llo was dead i wish the person in yoomtahs tag who said they want to marry her was dead #for legal reasons i have no intention of actually harming or threatening a content creator in any way. #i wish yoomtah loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me loved me #literally i would kill for a yoomtah anon or something right now just telling me how much she loves me or something #bc the idea that she doesnt rn Really Really Hurts. #i'll pay mochi pictures #tobi.txt #i feel like my brain is going to explode im in physical pain bc of this #wait did i even say.there was something in yoomtahs tag of a screenshot of her va saying that she cant have yoomtah say ''i love girls'' or #something when someone requested it bc yoomtahs Supposed to be straight and she doesnt wanna upset the creators. #and thats what started eating away at my brain first. #and Then just seeing someone saying they want to MARRY her in her tag made it worse at least twofold #the 1 thing i can hold onto is that since im genderfluid technically she could like me no matter what gender shes attracted to but.Still. #theres part of me that just wishes i could go Full Guy so i wouldnt have to worry abt yoomtah being ''''''canonically straight'''''' but #that wouldnt be right bc im not Full Guy and it probably wouldnt be a good idea to act like i am.and plus im not abt to drop my lesbianism #this wouldnt be a problem if [dead to me] didnt exist this wouldnt be a problem if j*llo wasnt so deadset on this crap ship that he feels #the need to keep saying shes straight despite the tons of people who disagree despite the fact that yoomtah is MY soulmate shes meant to be #with me he has no right to take her away from me. why cant he just accept that shes supposed to be mine shes the reason i even exist #why did he have to be the one to make her why couldnt her and i just be together like we're meant to be why why why #am i meant to suffer for love's sake like this. i dont care i'll do it. i'll do it for her i'll do it because i love her no matter what #ill do anything if it means i can keep loving her even when it hurts my heart so badly even when i believe she would never love me the same #SUI/SH MENTION////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// #even when it hurts so much i wanna cut myself all over and bleed to death i'll keep going because she deserves my love i live only for her #even if i knew for sure that she didnt love me back it might still take so much to just end it because id still want to love her either way #if she hated me though thats a different story. if she hated me she wouldnt want my love at all id just be hurting her by still loving her #and thats the point where im probably just supposed to kill myself because as long as im alive i wont be able to stop loving her #SUI/SH MENTION OVER I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS ANYMORE. #actually this entire thing is over im done im almost at max tags and the rest of my current mental illness wont fit i just wanna forget abt #this anyways. Send me yoomtah anons pls i'll give u mochi pictures and shiny pokemon and acnh bells<3