#or maybe even another degree

[sergle]

spill girl why they whining

Omg so. A lot of the recent HT launches have had pretty much the same colors repeated over and over, but Specifically the one that was released on saturday! Really just, as a majority, shades that are near exact dupes for polishes that have already been dropped very recently. And so fans of the brand are kind of taking a minute to complain abt the way that a collection will be hyped up, only to be completely identical to stuff already in the catalog. Me, complaining and talking about Colors are two of my favorite things, so I was gonna read all of it anyway, but I also totally agree. Also the last color story is kind of not a complimentary color palette, imo. Brown, aqua, neon pink/coral, yellowish taupe, and primary purple?

In particular, these two "new" shades are the ones making everyone lay on the ground dead, bc they are just. There's an ultra bright coral and an ultra bright aqua shade in like every release.

Brands obviously will make multiple polishes in a similar color family- especially once they have a large catalog. But HT has a ton of color families they haven't even touched yet, in favor of making mostly Purples, Blues, Aquas, and Corals. Ppl aren't loving these two either tbh:

The sorta Sandy color, I do think is different Enough, but the purple is very... tsk tsk... Because the brand also just dropped a purples-only release very recently. I think it's interesting to see! Because HT is a newer brand, only around for a few years- and, ultimately, an Influencer Brand. Since it's owned by one person, and the creator of this brand is designing the polishes herself, there's an element of just. Making a lot of polish in her personal fav colors! Which normally end up being very saturated, very cool toned, with a strong preference for purple.

#I didn't mention the brown/copper shade because I DO think it gets a pass #and nobody has really complained about that one #I think it's rather unique #But yeah there's a ton of fun stuff happening there #some people are really mad and like I enjoy reading that *TOO* #but also people are just complaining about repeat colors. which is not even a weird thing to complain abt at all #I think it's healthy for HT to have a lot of its fans Tamp Down a little bit bc #due to it being an influencer brand and a new brand with lots of Hype #people like it a lot and also maybe defend it to an aggressive degree #bc they aren't defending the brand- but rather the person who has created the brand. like parasocial vibes #idk bitch I just LOVE talking about nail polish #sergle answers #nailposting #I think it's good that this is shaking up ppl's Brand Loyalty. like. direct some hype toward another nail polish brand!

[sunmoontruth-stiles]

I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.

#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her #and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura #he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life #deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was #he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means. #when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial. #the best he can do at least #he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times. #often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship #but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost. #22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way #Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless #he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it #she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes. #he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone #he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home. #can’t bare to see another shell of a home #he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes #Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon #but promises feel costly these days #he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura #someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here #his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long. #Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place. #clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them #but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here #he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention #he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves. #he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods #he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.

[spielzeugkaiser]

I’d love to see Valdo’s reaction to bear!Jaskier or Shapeshifter!Jaskier! I love all of your verses!

[MASTERPOST] Jaskier is a man of words, but for this, he just.. ripped off the band-aid. Also: Geralt is not the only one who is immune to fair maidens in need! (and yes, I literally took little Greta (and her brother) from undercover at lettenhove and Valdo from Onlyfans! it was first like a lazy thing, but the more I think about it, the more I like it! it's like one universe where they're at least semi-happy)

And ohhh, I had a lot of fun drawing the gang. This is like, way in the future, after Jaskier starts to fill up his witcher shoes more and more - but still never talked about it with his friends. I don't think it's easy for him to not hide, after he did that for decades.

#witcher!jaskier #jaskier #the witcher #bear!jaskier #the witcher netflix #shani #zoltan chivay #priscilla #replies #I picked Valdo to know about Jaskier because I pictured him way older than Shani or Priscilla #and I think he met Zoltan after oxenfurt #and at one point people must have started to realize that either a. Jaskier doesn't age b. he studied for quite a while and how old?? #is he again?? #and maybe even c. he got another degree before he started at oxenfurt and there may be documents and- #bear!Jaskier has an extensive backstory in my HEAD #will I ever draw it all? probably not

[try-set-me-on-fire]

OLDER BUDDIE FIC OH MY GOD

That’s the one from this post (with an opening scene here) but to summarize; outsider pov of a new recruit learning about Captain Buck Diaz’s legendary rivalry with another station’s Captain Diaz but uh oh oops wuh oh I got my angsty little hands all over it and got too attached to the probational firefighter I made up and gave her family drama. She grew up in Boron, California (Buck is enthusiastic when he learns this and starts spouting facts about the town [Named after the element! Second largest source of boric acid in the world!] and she’s like how in the fuck did you know that and he claps her on the back and says I think I’ve probably read about half of Wikipedia at this point in my life) and her dad was a firefighter there, she was going to UCLA to get a chemical engineering degree to work in one of the refineries or other industry in her town that’s sprouted from the mines, but when she gets word that her dad died she drops out to become a firefighter. She also grew up gay in a small town and could never get femininity to sit right on her but god she tried so hard, and it was fine when it was this open secret but when she actually came out to her dad he did not accept her. I picked Boron because I googled “town furthest away from hospital California” asdfgsdfg he had a heart attack and the firefighters got to him in time but they couldnt get him to the hospital fast enough. Anyway now at the 118 she talks about him like he’s still alive and leaves him voicemails about LA and the team and everything, and Buck has started calling her John, which is a nickname her dad called her when she was little, and she cuts her hair short and has a bit of a gender crisis as she slowly accepts herself as butch and more comfortable presenting masculine, and Buck is just so happy and supportive and eventually she breaks down and admits her father is dead and she’s following in his footsteps and it breaks her heart that he wouldn’t be proud of her he never wanted her to be a firefighter he didn’t think it was a girls job but she loved him so much and he loved her so much and god now shes weeping in the back of the engine and Buck is very gentle about it all (you KNOW he’s been telling Eddie all about this kid, you KNOW he calls home after this like Eddie is it legal to adopt a full adult. How mad would you be if I brought a probie home) and then we wouldn’t even see Eddie till the end of the fic where they all work the same scene and John is like shit the rivalry are they gonna fight?? There’s certainly some kind of energy between them… and then Eddie gets his shoulder dislocated and Buck is calm and professional getting him out of the building but but as soon as a paramedic has popped it back in they collapse into each other a little and theres some tasteful kissing and like imagine both of them with gray in their hair and really good at their jobs after doing them so long and still so in love and bantering with each other… John is flabbergasted and Buck is like literally if you accepted my invitation to the family barbecues you would have found out about all this much sooner

#i cant decide if chimney still works at the station. i kind of like it because of his I was the first one here Ill be the last one to leave #attitude but i imagine this is like 15 years from now so he’d be very near retirement age #i think hen is retired or maybe a doctor #Bobby definitely retired but still cooks for everyone all the time and maybe even brings food into the station occasionally #Chris is getting his masters degree somewhere another factor in Buck wanting to bring the probie home he’s suffering empty nest syndrome

[i-dont-talk-for-days-on-end]

The funny thing is I could claim that one of the main reasons I'm not dating is that I'm too busy thinking about Sherlock Holmes and it would be true.

#well of course the ACTUAL reason is that I'm very happy with my life as it is #because i have family and friends and hobbies and study a degree i love #BUT I will not lie another reason i'm perfectly happy is that I'm constantly thinking about sherlock holmes XD #sherlock holmes #asexuality #and maybe aromanticism who even knows #personal thoughts

[kohakhearts]

when i was younger and more inspired i used to do this thing where id just put two characters together Because I Could, in a like “put random characters names on a dart board and fire til i hit two or more that Might be interesting” kind of way. in the true spirit of Shipping, i would then lovingly craft an alternate universe in which they got enough time on screen together to become an item—realistically, that is. whatever that means. anyway i need to channel this energy again i think itd be good for me

#im unironically taking submissions for most unhinged but actually serious ship you can conceive of #between characters who had at least one exchange on screen - or have some Complicated relationship web with each other at least - but zero #chemistry PROBABLY due to not interacting enough to even be friends #like the only reason to ship them is those two degrees of separation. and let me say again #i unironically would love to hear people’s suggestions. if you suggest something crazy enough maybe id even write it #taylor.txt #like it has to not make sense but also make a lot of sense. you know? #im talking characters that have one (1) thing in common. that might not even be a personality trait #perhaps another character. or a motif. or a bad narrative decision. so many options #this is not crackshipping. its purely scientific rarepair invention. and its DIFFERENT #sometimes crackships lead to real gems but im saying skip the crack go straight to diamonds. big brain that shit

[arsonist-chicken]

I think my university should pay me for emotional damages for having to write a thesis exposé. To the amount of whatever I need to go on a short trip to Helsinki to recharge from this bs and to get a tattoo and a coffin full of Fazer chocolates.

#i've been in the library since 6pm or so and have not gotten a single letter done #because i genuinely Do Not Know what to write about this #i don't WANT to write a thesis; having to write a thesis will be my last straw to a break-down if that terminography seminar doesn't do it #and i don't get the point of a thesis anyway. no one but me and my advisor and maybe two examinors will read it #i'll not bring forth any important new knowledge to use #even if i did magically discover some groundbreaking new way to teach second languages - which is not the focus of my paper #like i wanted because the head of institute said no - it would still mean nothing because no one's gonna read it anyway #i'm literally just some rando with subpar grades and papers and motivation and dedication to my studies except for the classes i like #and feel like i'm actually learning something important #which is another point: I'm studying translation and interpreting. I'll do a final translation exam in both language directions. #why is that not enough for a degree? it's literally what I study. i couldn't give less of a shit about scientific theories about translatio #yes you should hear about them sometime and it can be useful. but i don't give a single fuck about research etc. #i want to translate and subtitle and maybe at some point interpret. and add a second language besides english because well #the job market but also very importantly my own interests #can't take the swedish course because it interferes with another class; can take a ukrainian class but it's very low-level #can't take a polish or bosnian or serbian or croatian class because they only have higher levels right now #could take a chinese or japanese class but it's... a lecture? with 40+ people in it? how are you supposed to learn a language from a lectur #tried a portuguese class once but the teacher was absolutely awful. nice but so bad at teaching. #and every now and then i think maybe i should learn how to teach a language to someone because oh my GOD would i love to help people #coming here to learn german in ways they'll actually use and see them improve and help them be excited about learning! #or go somewhere else and teach german maybe while also learning the language of the country i'm in #and i thought maybe writing a thesis about second language acquisition and teaching would be a nice way to find out how interested #i am in that actually. but no. my topic now is... hold on. hmmm. #man i'M not even sure. i submitted something and my advisor wrote me an email with a different suggestion for the title #and idk what i'm supposed to write about. not saying the depression isn't playing a role too but damn am i not excited about this #which is. a great start to writing a thesis when 90% of your work ethic comes from being excited about something or interested init #'The preparation of translation-oriented language competence at school using the example of English lessons at Austrian High Schools' #ah yes. someone help me write an exposé about that. #i don't know how and what to include and I don't want to either #come onnnnnn two days ago being at the library helped at least a little bit but now i've been here 3+ hours and i've got nothing

[suncaptor]

there's something specifically inside my head that is closing up that makes trusting anything so hard. i have to manually keep my mind open to the potential of anything being significant. i am so used to things being bad and things hurting and things not working and being powerless that it takes an exorbitant amount of mental energy to make sure I don't let myself shut down possibility. and I do it because I never want a certainty inside of me besides love to rule anything. but I want my brain elastic again. i want it open like breathing. it doesn't erase the unfairness or the critique or any of the bitter-built philosophy.

#it's so hard to describe what I mean. i think it's the combo of the like. specific part of my brain's development + the amount of trauma #I have endured + the degree of which that has been taking place on a backdrop of the world being incredibly injust no matter what I do #this is very very silly but the extent of how much this impacts me was made clear by how like. closed off I was to even liking an album by #my favourite singer. like obviously I am obsessively keeping myself open I would never let my preconceived sense of doom and stubbornness #control my willingness to let things in #but it shouldn't be so hard to keep my mind open to things like... liking my favourite musician of most of my life's music........... #and that's a VERY silly example but that's why it's easier to talk about. it takes so much work to be open enough for things like therapy #or religion because they've damaged me so much #how am i supposed to handle this on a backdrop of constant constant helplessness in the face of living insecurity and illness and trauma? #the problem is if you try so so so hard again and again and remain hopeful regardless of how illogical that hope is #but you get let down so constantly since you're never stop trying ever even when systems fail you again and again #and you're watching horrible things happen and everything that shapes you is horror #then regardless of how much you try it's so hard to let yourself let go of the very realistic lived experience of doubt and critique #and I DO. do NOT get me wrong. I am obsessive and refuse to be my own problem #but the act of doing so shouldn't be like this. it's in everything i do. from simple things like listening to new music to even the mere #possibility of a future #i am very worried this one is going to be misinterpreted bc I AM NOT saying I'm stubborn in the face of systems that have repeatedly failed #me. I AM NOT. I am saying to not be shouldn't take this work when it envelops the rest of my life. #if anyone reads this far please please acknowledge the degree of which I almost pathologically try again and again when I can guarantee #nearly everyone wouldn't and still fight to keep myself open to hope because that's just something in me that is like that. but BEING like #that is. repeatedly putting yourself in situations where you are powerless already and helpless to get better and then are hurt more and #there's no way to escape it's just the repeated nature of it and then trying to not be the issue. #it's the problem in itself. #my ambition SHOULD be smarter. #god I'll go into this when I fully understand it another time. i don't think i have this phrased in a way to make all the dots of what i #mean correlate in the significant ways to anyone but me #but hey i guess i'm expecting anyone to read this in a light to misperceive me in the first place instead of accept maybe I'm not explainin #well or giving me the benefit of the doubt. see. #delete

[coquelicoq]

can't tell if my neighbor and i are flirting right now. if we are, we're doing a pretty bad job of it. part of that is probably that i keep reading over what i'm writing and going oh no, that sounds flirty! delete.

#can't decide if i want us to be flirting or not. like obviously i don't want us to be or i wouldn't keep deleting the flirty texts #but if i don't want to be flirting then why do i keep having the thought 'we are doing badly at flirting'? we're not flirting!!!! #we did have such a nice hang today though. and i didn't even get home and immediately start kicking myself for being awkward #as i usually do after hanging out with acquaintances lol #and we had so much to talk about! and i got to see the cat!!! #if you're keeping track YES this is the same neighbor who moved in like 5 years ago and invited me over for tea and i was like #😒 why. so you can make me trust you and then steal my identity? #anyway i've worked past that kneejerk suspicion. it only took five years. #this is also the neighbor who made me jam one time. maybe eventually if i'm nice i'll get another invitation to tea #and this time i would actually go probably! #ugh i have such a bummer dehydration headache so i can't do anything just sit here in my 90-degree apartment and sweat #which is very boring! and uncomfortable!! #hence this silly little post lol. i need entertainment #voisin de palier

[bandedbulbussnarfblat]

i got sent home from work today bc my assistant principal and nurse said that i looked like something was wrong with me. then they said that i look/sound drunk. not that they thought i was, but they know that i've started new meds. and they think they are making me loopy. which i know is all part of a larger plan to try to get me to labeled as unfit for my job. bc i had to use a lot of fml time and came back asking for one accommodation. but i've decided to make the best of it. i came home, took a gummy and about to write then nap. or nap then write. whichever happens first.

#personal #work hates me #but if i get fired #then i'll find a new job #even if it sucks #then i'll just have to save up and see if maybe there's some 2 year degree i can get #that would let me work from home #or maybe in my own office #like it can be a tiny ass office #i just want to be alone and do the things i am getting paid to do #without ever interacting with another human being

[hussyknee]

Note to self: a large meal is a very effective sedative for hyperactive cats.

#not something i can do regularly obviously #but Mau was driving me up the wall ever since I brought them inside and closed the windows for the evening #he feels it's his god-given right to gallivant after dark even though i keep dragging his ass inside after every jail break #and he freaks out after 20 mins alone in the garden anyway #Moo also disgraced himself by throwing up his lunch all over my room‚ escaping while I was cleaning #and then finding himself stuck up another fencepost on the perimeter wall and mewling pathetically for me to rescue him #i went back to the house to fetch a ladder again only to find monsieur dragging his sorry butt up the steps behind me after all #maybe I do coddle them a bit too much #since keeping them inside all day is a flat impossibility in this house #they should have some degree of self-sufficiency so their fool asses can come home if they do prowl #i'm hoping that keeping them near home long enough will discourage them wandering too far even if they do go beyond the perimeter #for all dogs were exhausting i never had to worry about this shit with them #just close a door and a gate and boom. problem solved #cats though. fuckin Houdini-ass mfers #knee of huss #Méka Mau Moo #cat mom problems

[david-watts]

I think over covid my m*ther was using the situation to make me not hate her for being a kinda terrible person but I'm having realisations because currently I don't have the threat of my grandmother hanging over my head. how fucked up is it that she refused to let me pursue university on my own terms

#I wasn't allowed to consider music I wasn't allowed to go to another city because I would have to live in a dorm alone #I originally intended to attempt to go to a foreign uni just so I had a chance to escape and on the night where they had all the uni info #there was a booth with info on how to get into a yank college and I took the leaflet because it was a foreign uni #and when my m*ther saw it she screamed her head off at me. that's not right!!! #after I realised I couldn't do that because I wasn't capable of doing all I needed to on my own #I was trying to delay it by maybe six months so I could get my shit together by pointing out I NEEDED a break from education #like I'd gone through a horrific grade twelve and ok we all know what my experience with education is at this point #I was not ready to attend uni! I needed time away from educational settings but was I allowed to do that? no! #actually I wanted to take a gap year anyway since like. 2016. just to decide what I wanted to do #guess what I got in response to that? 'you aren't taking a gap year because you can't get a job' #because apparently the only reason you take a gap year is to work. #it wasn't even a financial thing but even if it was that maybe should've been explained #so I got shoved. into a degree I did not want. I'm completing it but at this fucking point man #I can't cope with it?

[running-in-the-dark]

I have like... two days (max) to come up with a new research question for my bachelor thesis. I HAVE TO officially register/sign up or whatever next week. that's the only way I'll be able to finish it + the oral examination part before my course stops existing at the end of February (my advisor basically assured me that the examination office wouldn't let me register after the end of October).

fuck, I was so motivated last month! I felt ready, I felt good about it, I was sure I'd be able to do it! and then that stupid fucking meeting with my advisor happened and now I feel more defeated and hopeless than ever before. I feel stupid. I feel like I can't possibly do this.

there's just nothing in my brain. it's empty. all knowledge from my entire time at uni (and school) has vanished. the last, oh I don't know, eight fucking years have just been too much. I really don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm able to. I don't know how to start over again.

#like I've gone from crisis to crisis #everything since my second semester in 2015 has been hell #like literally #I didn't learn much because I only had enough capacity to study for exams and not to actually remember any of it #and what little I did know I can't recall anymore #my brain is so useless now. I can't fucking think! I can't think about my thesis without wanting to die! I don't want to do this! #but if I don't. I won't get my degree. I'll have wasted so much money (not us levels of money but still a lot) and time and I'll have #nothing #I'll be fucked. I won't have a future. I'll be stuck staying at home and never having my own money. forever. #because there's no way I can do another degree. I can't do it. I can't. #I don't have work experience. I don't have any skills. I'm 31 and my body is a piece of shit and my brain is even worse #I couldn't even work as a cashier (I tried. it was bad.) or anything #I need this degree to have *any* chance of getting a job and I just. #yeah idk maybe that's why this is so goddamn overwhelming #personal

[paperlovesadness]

Tuned into the Grammy's for a bit & it was honestly the reminder I needed on why I don't tune into these things.

Funny thing is that there's legit info out in the world on how the Oscar's work & how it has nothing to to with the movies & everything to do with the money, branding & merchandise (sent over to the members of the academy who usually do not watch the movies at all & are often v open about it 🙃) & we still somehow as a society treat it as some sort of indicator.

Haven't looked into the inner Grammy's workings too close but it's probably a twin situation.

Even 'fair' awards would be controversial in most categories -with art being so subjective. But man oh man why would we ever trust a bunch of members of an American organization made up of super-privileged & out-of-touch folks to - of all people - tell us what music is actually "the best" 🫠

#oh and about AM in particular - #it's silly in the first place how you've got this category that manages to pit the lyrical & musical genius of Mirrorball against songs #that go like 'i went to school and I got a degree/all my frienda call it the big D' over and over in one rhythm #and like! I really don't want to shame any artists! because there's room for all of the types of art #but it's crazy that these two are suddenly put into competition against each other in any category at all. They've got nothing in common #and it looks pretty silly to me when you compare the two in any way & end up saying that the latter won...in any way #I'm sorry! it's strange. maybe im contradicting myself. but ANYWAY #most imporant thing to take out of all this: this doesn't mean shit #another thing to just remember overall: the Monkeys have always been smart guys open about the fact they know that this doesn't mean shit #Peace Out! ✌️ #fuck the system and don't let the american CEOs get you down 🙃 #(yes that one may be personal) #(even though I'm very much from Europe. US has very big range & lots of control over the world) #(which is also why we should be as defiant about it as possible and not just let them so easily have that monopoly over pop-culture) #(alright bye / I should stop ranting in tags in the middle of the night; truly) #shouting into the tumblr void #Grammy's #Grammy Arctic Monkeys

[chaos-coming]

I'm annoyed and have been stewing in these thoughts for a few weeks, it's time to get it off my chest.

Despite their enthusiasm, i think i will not he working with the local marxist group here after all. Ive met with them a few times and honestly they fall into all of the classic shortcomings of white european leftist groups.

This group of upper middle class white swedes seem really and truly convinced that they will be the leaders of the great global revolution. They openly told me the first time we met that they are studying the literature to train the future leaders of the movement (the ego is just...wow). Dogmatic and enthusiastic, yes, but aware of the global currents happening right now, no. They dont see that capitalism is reliant on imperialism, and the idea that they might not be center stage when the workers of the world (most of whom live in the global south) rise up has never crossed their minds. They say they only want members who are serious and committed to the cause, but it really looks like they just want to create an echo chamber to boost their egos.

They think that boycotts and direct action are meaningless, as if disrupting the capitalist war machine is antithetical to their "great revolution". They use protests and demonstrations as opportunities for recruitment and to prosthelytize about reading theory. I watched them stand in front of a group of mostly migrants and refugees from syria, iran, palestine, and talk at them about the situation as if everyone showing up to a demonstration organization meeting wasnt already aware. As if refugees with family in the region wanted to hear this blond guy with a mustache posturing for Woke Points(tm) and say nothing constructive, dominate the conversation and ignore suggestions for action from people who have lived through the imperialist wars in SWANA.

Besides going to marxist conferences aka paid field trips, these people dont talk about any action if it's not directly about the great revolution and recruiting more communists, and place way too much emphasis on reading "the classics" (dont get me wrong reading theory is useful but its not the end all be all they think it is). And they dont read literary response/criticism to the classical theory, or modern interpretations, it's not "pure" enough. Theyre not just reading it for theory either, theyre literally and uncritically looking to 100 year old descriptions of society for instructions and methods for creating a revolution in the current day - descriptions which do not acknowledge climate change or indigenous sovereignty or the hyperconnected global economic system we live under - with no critical thought to how it must be adapted to the current epoch (i watched them shoot down all suggestions for organizing online and on social media, or provocative visual demonstrations, insisting that the only and best way to spread awareness is to stand in the hallways and pass out fliers to passersby like its still 1980 and sweden isnt already a paperless cashless society).

I made a comment about how soviet agriculture in west asia wasnt sustainable and got blank or disappointed faces in response. Which leads me to suspect that they idolize the ussr and have no intention to look at non european perspectives. I even tried to bring up the fact that we are currently on occupied sami land, sweden still has a literal actual monarch, living off of taxes and the imperial conquest of the sami people and neighboring countries. It got quiet, they did not want to have that conversation, they dont care beyond lip service about the rights of the indigenous people in their backyards (literally, theyre camped outside the city with their reindeer right now). Getting rid of the monarchy is not a priority, the concept of a monarch in the 21st century is not offensive or antithetical to their beliefs because the "great revolution" will take care of it anyway. Theyre not interested in actions, anything short of their fantasy of a total revolution is meaningless to them. These self proclaimed leaders of the revolution arent even interested in leading a push for an end to the monarchy which takes the workers' taxes to uphold an imperialistic remnant.

Like its basically a pay to play book club, theyre super insistent on the member fee being 10% of your income (even if you have no income you still pay) and it needs to be paid to participate in any of their group meetings etc. Like i get that they have a newspaper and printing press and a full time newspaper employee to pay for, but how is that not capitalistic? How is it not a class barrier, and especially when non-european students have to pay 5 figure tuition costs and they get to go to uni for free. The fact that their group is entirely 100% white and almost all swedes says volumes. And the fact that the palestine organizers have stsrted to schedule their meetings at the same time as the marxist group regularly does, almost like they dont want to work with these white guys who are trying to control the local solidarity movement.

When all you do is sit around reading literature and patting yourselves on the back for being special, when you look a refugee in the face and talk about revolution like theyre not the ones who have literally lived through it, when you are completely uninterested in taking action to fight imperialism in your own country, when you staunchly refuse to get with the times, why are you surprised nobody wants the 'revolution' youre offering them.

#im not so surprised but i am frustrated that the local marxist group is like this #but with how groups in the uk and on the continent are i expected just a tiny bit of awareness from these guys #i guess we are too isolated up here and sweden is just too comfortable for the white people to wake up #but at the literal colonial frontier with sami people sitting outside the city i thought maybe the leftist groups would be talking about it #but as usual white europeans have a large ego blocking their vision #theyre happy to criticize the rest of the world and even other eurooean countries #but ask them to make a change in theirs? good luck #honestly ive been thinking that living in europe isnt for me in the long term. this is not where the progress is happening #europe north of the alps hasnt felt the effect of climate change and theyre just so detached and complacent #you cannot push these people into meaningful action they just dont understand how the world is anymore #im going to stay for another 18 months to finish my degree but im starting to feel really limited by the conservative worldview here #even among the so called left

[asmallcafethatslove]

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#my roommate and I just had our monthly existential crisis bc we feel like our lives are on loop #and that everything feels so stagnant and even thinking about another place just freaks us out #like it’s crazy how expensive living in a room is and how stressful it is to find a place #we’re constantly worrying if things go wrong bc they can easily do so and even after our degrees #do we wanna stay here or what are we gonna do? #and some say maybe it’s the way I see things or probably we should change perspectives and look at it the other way but still #idk idk