#or this is the biggest weirdest tragic twist on a story | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

brightstarkid · 5 years

Text

Asks for Starkid Shows/Songs

Putting this below because OH MY GOD THIS IS MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE but yeah ask away!!

A Very Potter Musical: How did you discover Starkid?

Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts (AVPM): What’s your Hogwarts house?

Different As Can Be: Sleep on your tummy or your back?

Ginny’s Song: Have you ever been to Canada?

Harry: Do you have a crush right now?

To Dance Again: Have you ever taken dance lessons?

Granger Danger: What have you been too afraid to tell someone?

Pigfarts, Pigfarts Here I Come: What’s your favorite planet?

Missing You: Have you ever lost someone close to you?

Not Alone: Have you ever been abroad?

Voldemort is Goin’ Down: What is something that is really motivating for you?

Me and My Dick: Who is your best friend?

Ready to Go: Where is one place you want to go?

I’ve Seen You Around Here Before: What’s your favorite place to go?

There Ain’t Nothing Like a Dick: What’s the sassiest comment you’ve ever made?

Listen to Your Heart: What is one thing your heart wants?

Land of the Dicks: What’s the most asshole thing anyone has ever said to you?

Even Though: Have you ever cried at school?

Gotta Find His Dick: What was the last thing you lost?

The Council of the Pussies: Are you a part of any secret organizations?

Flight of the Pussies: Have you been on a plane?

Big T’s Temptation: Is there something you’ve been really tempted to do?

Finale (MAMD): What Starkid show did you immediately want to watch again?

A Very Potter Sequel: Do you prefer sequels or prequels?

Not Over Yet: If you could go back in time, when would you go?

Harry Freakin’ Potter: Have you ever met a celebrity?

To Have a Home: Where are you from?

Hermione Can’t Draw: Can you draw?

Lupin Can’t Sing: Can you sing?

The Coolest Girl: What’s one cool fact about you?

Gettin’ Along: Describe your first date

Let the Games Begin: Do you play any sports?

Those Voices: What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?

Guys Like Potter: Do you have an enemy/someone you hate?

Stutter: Can you dance?

No Way: What is one thing you would say “no way” to?

Days of Summer: What’s your favorite summer activity?

Goin’ Back to Hogwarts (AVPS): What is your first reaction when you hear this song?

Starship: Do you believe in aliens?

I Wanna Be: What do you want to be when you grow up?

Get Back Up: What’s one song that always gets you hype?

Life: What is the meaning of life?

Hideous Creatures: What’s the cutest animal you’ve ever seen?

Kick It Up a Notch: Is there something you need to kick up a notch?

Status Quo: Do you say no to the status quo?

The Way I Do: What would your name be on Farm Planet (what you do and what you love)?

Beauty: What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

Holy Musical B@man: Who is your favorite superhero?

Dark, Sad, Lonely, Knight: Are you allergic to anything?

Rogues Are We: Who is your favorite villain?

Dynamic Duet: Which Starkid would you want to duet with?

Robin Sucks: What’s one thing that you think sucks?

The American Way: What is one American thing that you just don’t understand?

To Be A Man: What’s your kryptonite?

Superfriends: What’s your squad’s group chat named?

A Very Potter Senior Year: Which of the Potter trilogy is your favorite?

This Is The End: What’s been a long time coming?

Senior Year: What’s your favorite memory from/what you’re looking forward to in your senior year?

Wizard of the Year: Who is your celebrity crush?

Always Dance: Do you like to dance?

When You Have to Go All the Way Home: Do you like going home?

Get In My Mouth: Are you afraid of spiders?

Tonight This School is Mine: What were/are you known for at your school?

I Was: Do you know what you were in a past life?

Sidekick: Are you a leading man/lady or a sidekick?

Everything Ends: Who would you see with the Resurrection Stone?

Goin’ Back to Hogwarts (AVPSY): Do you know how to tie a tie?

Twisted (Musical): What’s your favorite Disney movie?

Dream a Little Harder: What’s a dream of yours?

I Steal Everything: Have you ever stolen something?

Everything and More: Are you a princess?

Sands of Time: What is something you thought you lost but later found?

Golden Rule: Do you follow the golden rule?

A Thousand and One Nights: What’s your favorite story?

If I Believed: Do you believe in magic?

Orphaned at 33: What is something tragic that happened in your past that you’ve overcome?

Happy Ending: Do you believe in happy endings?

No One Remembers Achmed: Do you remember Achmed?

Take Off Your Clothes: Favorite reference in this song?

Twisted (Song): Which villain’s story is the most forgivable?

The Power in Me: Who is your biggest mentor?

The Trail to Oregon: What’s your favorite video game?

Gone to Oregon: What’s your favorite word to rhyme Oregon with?

Independence: Where are you right now?

The Grind: Have you been on a road trip before?

Pays To Be An Animal: What’s the weirdest story a grandparent has ever told you?

When the World’s At Stake: How do you express your love?

Dysentery World: What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

Wagon on Fire: Have you ever accidentally caught anything on fire?

Lost Without You: What’s your favorite song to sing along to in the car?

Speedrun: How do you focus?

Caulk Your Wagon: Do you know how to float on your back?

You Gotta Go: When was the last time you pooped?

Naked In A Lake: Have you ever been skinny dipping?

Ani: Have you ever watched Star Wars?

Long Ago and Far Away: What’s your favorite memory?

Strike Back: Have you ever fought for something you believed in?

With My Own Eyes: What is something you’ve only believed once you’ve seen it?

The Force (You Got It): Have you ever pretended to have The Force?

Haunted By The Kiss: What’s your favorite Star Wars reference in the show?

One in a Million: What makes you unique?

Back On Top: Have you ever won anything?

Firebringer: Have you ever built a fire?

Fire: Does fire scare you?

We Are People Now: What is one thing you couldn’t live without?

We Got Work To Do: What’s your favorite vine?

What If?: Have you ever done something just to shove it in someone’s face?

Welcome to the Stone Age: Favorite era in human history?

Just a Taste: What’s your favorite food?

Duck is Lord: Are you religious?

The Night Belongs to Snarl: Are you afraid of the dark?

Into the Night: What is one thing you’ve done outside of your comfort zone?

The Night Belongs to Us: Do you have a victory dance?

Climate Change: What’s one thing about climate change that makes you really sad?

Jemilla’s Lament: If you had a Lament song, what would you sing about?

Paint Me: Has anyone ever drawn you?

Ouch My Butt: What’s the biggest pain in the butt you’ve ever had?

Backfire: What’s something you’ve done that has backfired?

Together: How long can you go without taking a new breath?

Chorn: What’s your favorite obscure fact?

Finale (Make the Most of It): How do you make the most of it?

The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals: Do you like musicals?

La Dee Dah Dah Day: Have you ever been in a flash mob?

What Do You Want, Paul?: What is something you want that you’ve never told anyone about?

Cup of Roasted Coffee: What’s your coffee order?

Cup of Poisoned Coffee: Have you ever found something that’s not supposed to be there in your food/drink?

Show Me Your Hands: What are your thoughts on jazz hands?

You Tied Up My Heart: What is the most romantic thing someone has done for you?

Join Us (And Die): Can you belt?

Not Your Seed: Have you ever been stuck in a school?

Show Stoppin’ Number: Who is your favorite Workin’ Boy?

America is Great Again: Where are answers to be found?

Let Him Come: Paul or Steve?

Let It Out: Have you ever let it out?

Inevitable: What is something that is inevitable?

BONUS (as if this wasn’t long enough)

Spies Are Forever: Have you ever spied on someone?

The Coldest Goodbye: What’s the worst thing you’ve done by accident?

Spy Again: How many times can you say “spy” before it loses it’s meaning?

Somebody’s Gotta Do It: What’s your dream job?

Eyes on the Prize: What do you consider the ultimate prize?

Pay Attention: Which of Barb’s inventions do you wish you had?

Barb’s Lament: If you had another Lament song, what would you sing about?

Not So Bad: What is something that people say is not so bad but is actually really bad?

Torture Tango: What’s your damage, man??

We Love the Prince!: What’s the most insincere thing you’ve ever said?

Prisoner of my Past: What is one thing from your past that you still carry with you?

Doing This: What’s your most awkward “are we doing this?” story?

One More Shot: What’s your favorite alcohol (assuming you’re of age)?

One Step Ahead: What’s one plot twist you didn’t see coming?

Spy Dance: What’s your favorite dance move?

301 notes · View notes

subvertingyourexpectations · 4 years

Text

Top Ten Films of 2019

2019 was… I’m gonna be honest, not a very great year for cinema. Aside from a handful of standouts, I have seen very few things that completely blew me away. Especially given the past few years, we haven’t gotten a Roma, or a Phantom Thread, or a Denis Villeneuve movie. Anyway, this is my top ten favorite films of 2019.

But first…

Films That Would Make It But Didn’t “Technically” Come Out in 2019

Long Day’s Journey into Night

I already talked at length about this film, but I love it to pieces. It has twisted the visual language of cinema into its own beautiful and bizarre version, crafting a puzzle box of a movie that I absolutely adored. But, it technically came out at the end of 2018, so it can’t be on the list.

Tigers Are Not Afraid

If you like foreign films, this is a must-see. If you like tragic dramas anchored by some terrific child actor performances, this is a must-see. If you like horror movies, well, it’s not really a horror movie but people keep describing it as one, so you should probably see it. It’s a beautiful little imaginative tale about the effects of the drug war on orphaned kids, and if you can catch it on streaming I would definitely check it out. But, even though it came out in limited release in August, it came out in Mexico in 2017, so I can’t include it.

One Cut of the Dead

Maybe the most original film I’ve seen in years? The first half is a terrific little zombie flick all in one camera shot, and somehow the second half expands on this and is ten times better. Watching this in a packed house was one of my favorite moviegoing experiences of the year. It’s one of the most funny and, again, original movies I’ve seen in years.

Shadow

UGH ALL THE GREAT FOREIGN FILMS DIDN’T COME OUT IN 2019. Anyway this movie is incredible and is maybe the best use of grayscale I’ve seen in any film.

Movies That Might’ve Made the List But I Sadly Have Not Seen Them Yet

Portrait of a Lady on Fire

Pain and Glory

1917

Bad Education

Little Women

The Souvenir

Okay, now onto the actual list…

10. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt and James Gray’s remake of Apocalypse Now in space is maybe the weirdest premise for a movie, and yet I really enjoyed Ad Astra. There’s clearly some touches of studio interference that make this movie worse (read: Brad Pitt’s narration), but the underlying themes of anxiety and depression are some of the best I’ve seen on screen. Couple that with Brad Pitt’s best performance of the year (yes), the visual splendor on display, and this movie is an easy inclusion in my top ten of the year.

9. Uncut Gems

I need to go lie down. After really enjoying the Safdie Brothers’ previous films (Good Time and Heaven Knows What), I was really excited for this movie, and I was not let down. The frenetic, dare-I-say crackhead energy that the Safdies are able to convey in their films is immensely satisfying to watch, and the way Adam Sandler channels it is one of my favorite performances of the year. The last twenty minutes of this movie is just pure panic attack.

8. The Irishman

Somehow Scorsese’s 209-minute long epic is one of the most watchable films of the year. This is just a terrific example of everyone firing on all cylinders; the performances are great, the script is great, the editing is unbelievable (this movie feels like it is two hours long), and the directing and thematic development towards the third act is some of Scorsese’s best.

7. The Farewell

A calling card for director Lulu Wang as much as it is for Awkwafina in dramatic roles, The Farewell is an absolute delight. The family dynamics throughout all feel refreshingly authentic, and the film masterfully weaves between its comedic moments and tragic undertones. If it wasn’t for some choices made at the ending, this would probably rank higher on my list.

6. El Camino

How bad was 2019 for film? A Breaking Bad movie is my sixth favorite film of the year. It doesn’t matter if we “needed” this movie or not, El Camino is just so incredibly well-made and enjoyable. It’s always a pleasure seeing something new in the Breaking Bad universe, but more than that I think this film is a genuinely beautiful swan song for one of the greatest characters in television.

5. Waves

This movie is meandering, aimless, pretentious, and completely style over substance. And yet, the last half hour of this movie hit me harder than almost anything this year. Regardless of how you feel about the characters, I feel like Waves has an overwhelmingly positive message in the end, which is to grow away from your hatred and learn to forgive and love. I’m sure many people will find the way this movie gets to that message to be kind of pointless and wandering, but to me it just turned a pretty good film into one of my favorites of the year.

4. The Mustang

My local 3-screen art house closed in April of this year. I went there as often as I could, because they were the only theater in town that would play a lot of independent and foreign films. It was the first place I saw Roma, and the first (and, let’s face it, last) time I saw Stalker on the big screen. The last night they were open, I went and saw The Mustang, not based on anything to do with the movie, just because I wanted to be there one last time. It was completely sold out, far busier than I’d ever seen them. In the past I’d always had free roam of where to sit, but that last night I was in the third row from the front.

If Ad Astra is about depression, then The Mustang is about anger, and learning to overcome your anger and grow as a person. It’s about a prison in Nevada that has a rehabilitation program where violent convicts train wild Mustangs, which are later sold to local ranches and farms. Roman (a terrific performance from Matthias Schoenaerts) is one such convict, and his personal struggle to overcome his anger is beautifully realized against the backdrop of having to fight a wild animal. (Seriously, he goes in swinging and it does not end well for him.) It’s a great story, and it’s a must-watch if you haven’t seen it. The emotional ending coupled with the fact that my favorite theater was closing left me a complete wreck when the credits rolled. (I’m starting to realize my top five films all just boil down to “the ending wrecked me”.)

3. The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part

This is like The Mustang but for kids.

Okay okay, hear me out, I only saw this movie once when it first came out 11 months ago, and I’m not ever watching it again because I thought it was perfection. I feel like on a repeat visit the songs will become grating, the plot will feel ridiculous, and the themes of toxic masculinity that I appreciated so dearly will seem like faint whispers instead of clear subtext. And yet in the theater, I absolutely adored the songs and the plot and the clear subtext about being a better brother/man. The real-world parallels that were a surprise twist at the end of the first film are used beautifully in The Second Part, because the plot is simply just one big metaphor for a little sister who wants to play with her older brother. It’s touching, it’s funny, and it gets stuck inside your heart. It’s such a shame that the LEGO film franchise is all but dead, because if we had kept getting films like this, children’s movies would definitely be better for it.

2. Parasite

Everything fantastic about this film has already been said about it by people far smarter than me, so I’ll just say this: it is every bit as amazing as people hyped it up to be. This movie is a biting satire, a laugh-out-loud comedy, and an edge of your seat thriller. It has left an imprint on my brain since I first saw it back in October, to the point where as much as I have tried to analyze and dissect, this film, I don’t know if there’s a single flaw with it, there’s genuinely nothing I would change about this movie. If you see one movie this year, it should be Parasite.

1. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

In July of 2019, I had to make probably the biggest decision of my (brief) career thus far. I was going to leave my management position at a 24-screen theater I’d loved dearly to go work in an office. I loved everything about the movie theater, I’d worked there for almost four years, but at a certain point it just had diminishing returns. Newer upper management and constant changes coming down from the big-whigs had turned my favorite building into a place I started to resent, a place I didn’t recognize. I tried to fight the change, and re-institute everything I loved about this building that I practically grew up in, but you can’t fight change, and you shouldn’t romanticize the past.

I’ve never seen these themes more realized in film than in The Last Black Man in San Francisco. It tells the story of Jimmie Fails, a native San Franciscan who has to watch the city he’s loved his whole life descend into a rapidly gentrified hellscape that leaves many homeless and helpless. He often visits his childhood home, a beautiful three-story house with a “witch hat” on top, now owned by an older white couple. This doesn’t stop him from romanticizing the house, romanticizing the past, as he constantly visits and attempts to fix up the house, oftentimes clashing with the current inhabitants.

This disdain from the couple is an all-too-real parallel message that he’s getting from the city itself: You’re not welcome here anymore. Much as Jimmie has tied his identity to this home, and this city, he is hardly welcome in either. But for one brief instant, he gets to live his dream. The house gets stuck in a familial dispute, causing the older couple to move out. Leaving behind a big empty house that no one is occupying, Jimmie and his best friend Montgomery decide to just move right in, and have their way. They bring in all the old furniture from Jimmie’s childhood, they paint the walls, repair the original woodworking, all in service of Jimmie’s dream to simply exist in this space, and preserve something sacred.

Eventually though, reality comes crashing down, and try as he might, Jimmie can’t stay in the house, and he has to learn a hard truth: you cannot tie yourself emotionally to a physical space. Whether it’s a house, a city, a job, you simply cannot love something that doesn’t love you back. You will get hurt every time.

But it’s so easy to love. It’s so easy to play the piano in the entranceway of your childhood home. It’s so easy to relax in the sauna upstairs, or smoke on the balcony, or just lay on the floor and admire the witch hat. The Last Black Man in San Francisco makes you fall in love with this house, and with Jimmie and Montgomery, and as much as we see ourselves in them, we too have to learn the same lessons. As much as we want to inhabit a space, and get the fullest potential out of it, you cannot ever stop change, and you cannot stand in the way of it without going insane.

And maybe it was just because I was going through this personal development the first time I saw this movie, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. It stuck in my brain so much that by the time I saw it a second time, I was a complete mess; I cried four times. I cried for Jimmie, I cried for the house, and I cried for myself. I cried for the things we all lost, the things that would never be the same, and because we would have to learn to accept that. This is what’s so beautiful about The Last Black Man in San Francisco, and on top of the phenomenal acting, emotional script, and gorgeous visuals, it’s what made it my favorite film of the year.

12 notes · View notes

pelikinesis · 4 years

Text

ended up typing a lot about JJBA

finally making my way through JJBA Stardust Crusaders. On the one hand, from what I’ve seen of JJBA in general, a lot of shit happens basically for *THE DRAMA*, but due to artistic choices, clever execution, and committing to its own outlandishness, it really does work on a certain level. and if you’re down to meet it at that level, you’ll have a good time probably.

at least, that was my initial takeaway after having watched the first two seasons. But even though the whole point of JJBA is that each series creates its own paradigm (Phantom Blood is basically Great Expectations meets vampires meets sunlight kung fu, and then Battle Tendency replaces the noble and pure-hearted Jonathan with his conniving shonen Tom Sawyer-esque grandson, Joseph), I feel like Stardust Crusaders is easily the biggest change.

not just because of The Stands, but actually because the main cast broadens to including at least 4 characters early on. It’s really the only way a character as stoic and seemingly-unflappable as Jotaro can really work in a story. There always needs to be another character on-scene and similarly invested in his quest to react to all the shenanigans going on, so he can bide his time just glaring impassively at the obstacles in his way before he gives them the ora ora ora and then yare yare da ze at the right moments.

And while Jotaro is starting to grow on me, i imagine i would have been way more into his character when i was in my teens or early twenties. But these days, I’m much too aware of how the story twists and turns so that Jotaro always looks SO FREAKING COOL. Like, i couldn’t manually activate that particular section of my suspension of disbelief even if i tried. if i could do that, believe me, i would, because i can see the appeal of Jotaro at a distance. And maybe by the time Stardust Crusaders is over, that’ll change things.

but as for right now, I equally like Jonathan and Joseph, though since I relate more to Joseph i’d pick him if i had to have a favorite. Phantom Blood is really short, but since Jonathan is such a simultaneously straightforwards but also immensely likable character, it works.

If anything, it’s the other way around: if Phantom Blood were longer, that might be a problem, because Jonathan barely changes at all as a character (because he’s already a precious cinnamon roll too pure for this world) and essentially just learns Hamon as far as development goes.

If it had gone even a few more episodes, Jonathan might have started to get stale. But since he’s taken from Erina and Speedwagon and the rest of the cast (and US) far too soon, his passing is tragic, and all the more fondly remembered for it. That’d be kind of a shitty thing to say about an actual person I think, but since this is fiction I guess that’s alright to say.

and Joseph is just...incredibly entertaining. nonstop. He reaches near Deadpool-levels of zaniness, but since he’s picking up where the almost impossibly noble and heroic Jonathan left off, it feels fresh to begin with, and then Joseph continues to grow and change throughout Battle Tendency.

At first he seems to inherit little of Jonathan’s character, due to his cocky demeanor, but those sparks of brilliance back in Phantom Blood that added a garnish of depth to Jonathan go supernova in Joseph and never look back, because he’s all about outwitting his opponents. So as compelling as the fights get in Phantom Blood, they become absolutely fascinating in Battle Tendency as Joseph pulls gambit after gambit out of his ass while having to fight the Pillar Men who are way above his weight class.

In Stardust Crusaders, they “preserve” Jotaro’s image usually by having Polnareff or Old Joseph fall into the situations that do a number on their bodies, minds, and dignity. I’m not saying Jotaro never struggles or gets worried, it’s just that he shows it a lot less than everyone else, and since (thus far) he always comes out on top a lot quicker or at least more abruptly than the rest of the cast, I find myself being a lot less concerned about his well-being and the possibility of his victory when he’s in danger.

And for what it’s worth, that’s completely telegraphed and likely deliberate. It’s my understanding that he’s the one that faces DIO in the end, so i would imagine there’s a payoff for him being handled relatively ‘safely’ in comparison to the rest of the main cast. I say it’s telegraphed because in the very first episode, characters comment about how powerful his Stand, Star Platinum is, and of course those attributes seem to transfer over, or at least get conflated with its user as well.

This wasn’t originally what i wanted to talk about though, precisely because i’m not yet done with the series. I actually wanted to write a bit about Hol Horse, because he’s just such a great antivillain, but I realized that what really makes JJBA so compelling, aside from its fascinating artistic direction and the fact that it’s very good at doing the main things it wants to do, is that the writers understand drama--and I said it was conspicuously, even overly-dramatic earlier, but right now I’m focusing on each episode’s ability to build and release tension.

No matter how wacky the show gets, it’s unfailingly adept at ramping up the tension. Even when I’m presented with a character so grotesquely, cartoonishly evil and unpleasant that it begs the question of how such a person could exist in the world as is. Even though I know the writers are unsubtly trying to play me so i rejoice when the bad guy gets ORAORAORA’d into the stratosphere. Even though everything at the forefront of the plot often ORAORAORAs whatever verisimilitude the setting has. I still cheer when the bad guys get obliterated. I still worry when the good guys are on the ropes.

And so I have a hard time critiquing the writing of JJBA. Maybe I’m just not qualified to form an opinion more refined than, “I enjoy it and it’s special, but not for everyone.” I guess what I would say, is that the story is extremely compelling to me as I’m watching it. But when I stop to think about it with some distance, the impact of the story beats and the characters’ fates become greatly diminished, and when it comes to other stories the opposite is true.

Because when I think about His Dark Materials, or Final Fantasy 6, or my other all time favorite stories, I feel a lot more strongly about them even if I haven’t read, watched, or played them in years. But on the other hand, maybe nostalgia has a lot to do with it. That’s probably a topic better suited for a back-and-forth discussion than as a stream-of-consciousness post though.

I wanted to return to the topic of Hol Horse for a second though, because by the third time he shows up in the story, he’s the POV character of the episode, and the main cast are positioned within the narrative of the episode as the antagonists. And it’s the weirdest thing, because I don’t know how many stories have managed to pull this off, or even try to do it.

But it works, because Hol Horse has already been established as being an ineffectual villain, but we don’t hate him because it turns out he failed to kill Avdol, and he hasn’t done anything absolutely reprehensible. He’s a bit of an everyman who is way in over his head and doesn’t want to die, and he even kinda sorta helped out the heroes once.

All that makes him sympathetic to a certain extent. And over the course of his episode, the tension comes from the question of will he or won’t he put his trust and faith in Oingo’s prophecies. It actually reminded me of the Biblical stories of Abraham and Isaac, or Job. Any time the character has their faith tested. Hol Horse gets that exact arc, and we see him struggle on whether to trust his own instincts and judgment, or entrust his life to the will of a higher power (I guess. It’s a Stand, so...).

It’s because Stardust Crusaders does stuff like this that it gets away with being structurally formulaic. It’s really just a sequence of them running into enemy Stand users, struggling to survive, figuring out how the Stand works, then coming up with a way to use their own Stands and/or the environment to overcome them.

Except when there are other resolutions, including but not limited to using the enemy Stand’s power against their users, using their enemies’ fear of Dio against them, and Jotaro overcoming the setback of being de-aged back to 7 years old through the strategy of Jotaro being able to kick a grown man’s ass at 7 years old.

In every way, JJBA is just an explosive riot of unfettered creativity, with enough strong consistent elements to give it a unique flavor, and if nothing else, i feel like i should be taking pointers from how it creates dramatic tension.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba

1 note · View note

theglguidetowebcomics · 5 years

Text

The Webcomic Graveyard

There are plenty of amazing comics on the internet, but for every good one there seems to be 3 abandoned ones. You never know when one of your favourite comics will be dropped or even simply deleted, and if you’ve read a few webcomics it’s probably happened to you a few times. But, even if unfinished they’re interesting in their own way. So, why not take a short look at some these dead webcomics?

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre… Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge.

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on. This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly… interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next. But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So… Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself. Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit. All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well.

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

What’s this? A webcomic that doesn’t look like it wears baggy jeans, plays snake on a flip phone, and bedazzle tamagotchis in it’s spare time? And I was this close to have a theme here. But, no. Mora and Stima Apei isn’t from the 2000′s or even 2000′s themed. It’s very modern from its story telling, to its art, to the fact that the authors are qualified in relevant fields. And rather than being specifically abandoned it’s been publicly put on hiatus with a notice and reason why. It’s always nice when creators do that. Whether it will actually be completed story though is still anyone’s guess. It’s still a webcomic. The comic however is pretty interesting, the visuals are a little rough at the start but greatly improve later on. The characters are beautifully designed, the colours are thought out, the tone is pretty clear, and the monsters are dark and twisted. And I’m always up for dark and twisted monsters. Con wise though is it’s a little wordy and poetic at times. Which I do understand is a style choice here, but at the same time I very much in the show don’t tell camp with things like this. It doesn’t do that all the time though. Plot wise though the comic is pretty straight forward, a women wakes up, can’t remember who she is, has a rotten arm, a elf lady in the room, and a skull on her head. Why? We haven’t gotten to the why yet. The art later on is gorgeous, and the mystery is enticing. But there isn’t enough yet to get a grasp on how good it will be, it doesn’t use it’s time well. Its not a bad comic though, it’s mystery and art is very well done. But, still can’t tell what it’s going to be from what there is. On the other hand though their newer comic is still coming out (albeit in early pages) and is extremely well done with nice art, visual story telling, and an intriguing plot. So as long as they keep making comics like that, I don’t mind how long this stays on hiatus at all.

#Webcomics #comics #lgbt #Roxie and the magic taco #Amazoness!#Mora and Stima Apei

2 notes · View notes

pendingoomething · 5 years

Text

The Webcomic Graveyard

Firstly, the biggest problem with unearthing abandoned comics is they’re quite difficult to find, especially if they’re from the 2000′s or even early 2010′s. Because if they’re old, abandoned and on the internet, the lists that featured them or even the comics themselves can be long gone in hosting archives or lost with the domain, which isn’t a bad thing. They’re dead comics. But if I’m trying to find those neon coloured wonky lined GL stories where Amazons hang out; Main characters abruptly die in flames while everyone gives up on the quest in act 1; or love interests fly around knocking out angsty protagonists with alien comets left right and centre... Digging up the remains of some of these is going to be a challenge.

But that being said, let’s have a look at some of the good, the bad, and the tragic of abandoned WLW webcomics. And let’s see if digging these up is as fun as I thought.

Roxie and the Magic Taco

Years: 2015 - 2017 Pages: 114 Reason: Unexplained

First of all, of course there’s a GL comic about a magic taco. Second of all, what a title. This comic is all kinds of weird. it’s art style is painfully 2000′s with the grey shading, gradient backgrounds, geometric yet empty landscapes, and pixelated line work. And this was presumably made in 2015. Everything about this feels and looks like a competent 2000′s comic (minus the furries), but by far the weirdest thing about this comic was that even if I read it twice a while ago, I had NO idea I had only ever read a third of it until a researched it for this list. It went on a small hiatus in the start of 2016 posting a small how it was made list instead of a page which sent you to another part of the website if you clicked on it, so there was a whole year after that update which I had never read because I kept getting stuck on that damn update page without knowing. So I finally go to finish act 1 of this comic after 3 years, and man, what a page to end on. This comic started out as a small yet surprisingly sweet romance between two characters. Princess a heavily sheltered model(?) who’s father controls her day by the minute, and has lived that way all her life except for the few minutes a day where she takes off all her femme apparel and is allowed to wander around due to a lenient body guard. Think a reverse Hannah Montana if Hannah Monatana was secretly a butchy punk lesbian. And Roxie the stuck in the dead end job for 4 years cashier, who works for an insane grandpa who talks to a “Magic Taco” and has a huge crush on the supermodel princess, well, at least her celebrity persona. And the characters are weirdly... interesting. The plot as batshit as it is is alright, there’s clear conflicts for the characters and the twist before the comic ended revealed the “magic taco” actually existing? There’s definitley a few cons to it too, the art is awkward at times, The backgrounds are weird, and there feels like there’s something missing in the story. But weirdly enough, I still kinda want to know what happens next. But with what comes next though act I wrapped up on the 23rd of April 2017 with a message saying it would update again in June the same year. It never did. No more updates. No hiatus notices. Just an empty Tumblr, Facebook page, and badly designed website. Apparently act 2 had already been written, so who knows the story behind that one. An orphaned series.

Amazoness!

Years: 2007 - 2010 Pages: unobtainable Reason: Unknown/unobtainable

Alright, we’ve finally come across a comic that’s domain has been deleted (most likely due to the bills on the domain not being paid for a few years) and subsequently has had it’s entire archive destroyed (bar a few blurry Jpegs floating around). So information about this one is going to have to rely on what I can remember from 5 years ago. So... Buckle up, let’s horribly stumble through this one! If Roxie and the Magic Taco felt like a little like 2000′s comic Amazoness! by comparison eat’s and breaths 2000′s. From the early anime influences, bold colours, and ms paint vibes coming from every pore (not that ms paint is inherently bad. More that i’s used particularly). And, I swear, every abandoned comic has a bizarre premise and plot. So what is the plot? Good question. I’m not entirely sure myself. Amazoness! is set in 559 BC in a fictional Amazonian empire. Think wonder woman but ms paint, a little anime, and a whole lot more lesbian. They live in a women only empire with a giant infamous army, and generally despise men, which makes finding husbands difficult, they’re also basically all lesbians, which makes finding a husband very difficult. Enter the main character (Left in the panels provided), she’s small and weak compared to her Amazonian peers, which as the next Queen, is a bit of a problem. So she goes on adventures around the ancient world (and by world I mean Greece before being cancelled). It’s a fantasy story with a lot of the 2000′s brand humour, blandish characters, and weird plot. It’s as 2000′s as it gets. But it did have a lot of standout jokes including the dark brooding Amazonian who was originally an ancient goth accidentally starting modern goth fashion in ancient Greece. There was also possibly a trans character, but being the comic that it was, whether that was their gender or whether they were going to become a cross dresser butt of the joke character is up for debate. Considering it was 2007 I’m not the most optimistic about that bit. All in all though it was the standard 2000′s fantasy comedy genre with some nice jokes, a few starts to some promising romances, a few bludges on some touchy subject material, and pretty forgettable art. Who knew what this comic would have become, as a young teen I wanted to find out, but now it’s just another orphaned series, lost to time. This is not a series that’s sorely missed, But maybe foggily remembered. Oh well.

Mora and Stima Apei

Years: 2016 - 2017 Episodes: 27 (Including specials + QAs) Reasons: Hiatus. Moving, free time, and starting another comic

#webcomics #comics #lgbt #lesbian #abandoned comics

1 note · View note

theonceoverthinker · 6 years

Text

OUAT 1X08 - Desperate Souls

Holy smokes! Not counting today’s review, I’ve racked up 30 pages worth of content for this rewatch!!! For me - someone who has barely written maybe twenty pages total for everything OUaT in the two and a half years I’ve been here - that’s pretty neat!

So, without further adieu, let’s SOUL-der on and talk about this adventure, for I know you’re DESPERATE to read my thoughts under the cut!

Press Release Regina and Mr. Gold play dirty politics and take opposite sides when Emma runs for a coveted Storybrooke public office against Sidney. Meanwhile, back in the fairytale world that was, Rumplestiltskin tries to track down the ultimate power source in order to help his son avert the horrors of a meaningless war. General Thoughts Past The intro to this episode is phenomenal. Immediately, we’re thrust into the action and everything from the writing to the storytelling tells us what we need to know about the characters and the unique setting they’re currently living in. We feel the fear that they do and it’s intense. And what’s better is that sentiment carries on through the rest of the episode. The biggest draw it got out of me over the course of the episode’s runtime was this dual feeling of sorrow and pity as the child collector madde Rumple kiss his boot. It gives the murder at the end of the episode an extreme layer of catharsis. Fuck, I gotta talk about that scene between Rumple and Zoso. This scene sets the standard for so much of Rumple’s life going forward. I love that here is where we get to hear the line “all magic comes with a price for the first time.” While Rumple won’t know that true price for some time, he clearly gets the sense that he’s in for a rough time in this moment. For someone who is so often on this series on the other side of this equation, Rumple was new to the concept at one point too, and it’s so crazy to revisit that.

The theme of being wary of how one acts in times of desperation really works in this flashback, and that’s because of consistent character writing in accordance with their stakes. Present The intro here is fantastic too. While I didn’t like the drama from the last episode, the way that this scene handles it makes it feel better. It builds on it while keeping things subtle and at the same time, furthering the storytelling from the past’s segment’s intro through the bonding point of parenthood - whether either party is conscious of it or not. Emma’s conflict in this episode is so good. It shines leagues above what it was in the last episode because it’s actually having to do with characteristics and dynamics of hers that are actually established, and what’s better is that it melts together like a fine stew. We see right from the get go - as stated before - that Graham’s death and Emma’s subsequent grief has something to do with her desire for the job, but also, Emma’s rivalry with Regina and her desire to assuage Henry of his anxieties as best as she can without playing into (what she believes to be) his delusions of the curse. I like how the ending works too. While I don’t think the reiterated wham line works the way the writers intended it to, Emma’s victory isn’t taken from her and it’s not any less earned. However, the final twist is still able to be effective and prove that while a force against Gold, Emma is still up against someone always a step ahead of her. Both There’s a fascinating couple of moments in both the past and present that I want to touch upon. First is a cool contrast between Rumple and Emma. Rumple discusses the role that Bae plays in his life, while Emma talks about the role that she plays in Henry’s life. I like how those discussions come before our leads hear about possibilities/make decisions that completely alter their current standings in life. “I know how to recognize a desperate soul.” This line works really well in the case of the flashback, but kind of feels like a round peg in a square hole in the present. Emma’s not in a dire straight the way Rumple is, despite the internal weight of the conflict. I don’t consider it a major problem, however because while very much a wham line, acting as if it’s supposed to be the central theme of the episode when it’s not, it doesn’t take away from the good story from before that moment. I love how the general theme of this episode - while the forces of good never intentionally try to incorporate evil into their endeavors, sometimes it can’t be avoided - gets shown in two ways: both consciously and unconsciously. Rumple makes the choice to use darkness in the past and Emma - while not knowledgeable of it - plays into Gold’s game in the present. Emma and Rumple/Gold are fantastic foils to each other and seeing this kind of starting point build as the series goes on is really cool! Insights I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen the intro changed up! I like how it changes depending on the focus of the episode. It’s a good blending of a uniform intro and a recap. Man, I’m gonna be sad when we lose it, though I do miss the “Previously on Once Upon a Time.” I never noticed before, but Zoso’s magic is so distinct from everyone elses. It’s like a supersonic wave rather than the puffs of smoke we’ve seen both before and since this point. “That’s the thing about children - before you know it, you lose them.” I’d be here all day if I tried to unpack that one. Breaking a toaster is the weirdest way to act out in anger. What makes it better is that we don’t see any sign of her attacking it or whatnot so how it got to be that way is up in the air and so much funnier for it! I wonder how a town charter was created. Why would Regina build a balancing system into her curse. Headcanon: Gold used his “please” clause to make it so. I take issue with the duke for not saying “Did you teach him how to run, RUNplestiltskin?” How DARE you pass on that beautiful pun opportunity? “If they take him away, I will truly become dust.” *Cuts to the Season 7 finale* Apparently, that was quite literal. Why can no one identify each other in the flashback? The Duke doesn’t recognize that the beggar is Zoso nor Rumple once he’s become the Dark One! I love how as Rumple and Bae are preparing the lanolin, we get to see hand movements that mirror Rumple’s once he becomes the Dark One. Archie, mate. Speaking from my experiences with a certain blooper reel, you might want to spend a good few seconds practicing the candidate’s names instead of your intro ;) Then again, your public speaking on the whole is just a mess. Practice your finesse. “I can’t beat Regina - not the way she fights.” Regina’s not the one fighting dirty at the moment, or less so: Gold is. Why say a line like that? You gotta wonder, were there ever plans to expand on Zoso’s points about Baelfire or were the writers aware that he was only saying that to get a rise out of Rumple? “You have to tell me what to do.” Oh he will, Rumple. He or Nimue, probably. Damn, I wish we could’ve seen that first night by the Dark One’s vault. Are there fanfics out there for it? “Glass. Swan.” Wow, ship names and hindsight makes that sign hilariously awkward! XD It’s weird how seldom we see blood on Rumple’s dagger. You would think since it’s a weapon, we’d see it more. I don’t know if it was a conscious choice on the hair stylist’s part, but Rumple’s not only blinded by his own ambitions of power in the final flashback scene, but also by his hair! Awww! Emma brings a picture of Henry into her office! I bet she got it from Mary Margaret. The way that Henry’s positioned makes it look like a school photo and she seems like the kind of teacher who would want to keep a record of her old students like photographs for sentimentality! It’s so cute!!! “You knew I’d agree.” I think she’s talking about agreeing to Gold’s initial campaign proposal? Otherwise, this line makes no sense. Arcs The power struggle against Regina - This was a major peg being taken down from Regina, and it was set up very well with Emma being positioned as deputy, which in turn was built off of her skills, and culminated here in her being elected sheriff. Through this moment, we see not only a shift in Emma, but one in Storybrooke as well. While still prone to falling for gossip, the townspeople respond to courage and we finally get to see the impact that both Regina and Gold have had on the town by how people respond to someone standing up to them. Still, going forward, Emma and Regina’s dynamic will in a much more delicate - and much more interesting because of it - place. Gold and Emma’s deal - We only get a brief mention of it here. I wonder what Gold had in mind for Emma’s favor before learning that he needed her help to find Bae outside of Storybrooke. At the very least, we know it wasn’t half of a pastrami sandwich. His loss though. Pastrami’s delicious. Favorite Dynamic Rumple and Bae. I think that the simpler characterizations of Rumple and Bae was a good way to go in this episode, with Rumple as cowardly as we’ve come to expect and Baelfire as brave to a fault. It - partnered with the parent-child power dynamics - makes for a very easy to understand, yet still nuanced conflict. Rumple comes off as more worldly, but still frustratingly stubborn and cowardly while Bae comes across as braver certainly, yet naive too. Rumple’s not wrong when he tells Bae that the call to fight in the Ogre Wars is a call to death, and it conflicts with a lot of our sensibilities that it’s honorable to die in battle. I just love as well how Bae’s faith in Rumple falls as he learns more and more about his father’s past. You can just see the lack of belief when Rumple tells him that his mother is dead, and you have to wonder what Bae’s resolve would be to the events of the end of the episode had that encounter with the Duke in the forest not occurred. But even still, while there’s a noticeable yet slight loss of trust, there’s no love lost, and that helps make the final piece of the flashback all the more tragic and give the audience an insight into what Zoso’s last words to Rumple end up truly meaning. Writer Now here’s the Jane Espenson I know and love in full form! It’s weird that with a more complex theme, she manages to tell a story leagues above her last one’s flashback in terms of quality. It makes me think of an advanced computer science professor that had to teach entry level Web Page Design class I once took. What works in this episode - as did work in the present day section of “That Still Small Voice” is an understanding of stakes. Rumple’s actions get more desperate and Emma’s decision whether to tell of the true reason for the fire get more complicated as higher stakes are revealed to these characters and build on their already present characteristics (Ex. Rumple can’t just take control of the Dark One because he’d be terrified of owning him as a slave, so he has to become the Dark One), whereas in “That Still Small Voice’s” flashback, there was no reason for Jiminy to jump to condemning his parents to a fate worse than death when he’s already conflicted about leaving them because they’re old. Here, the handling is done so much better. Rating 10/10. This episode works really well. I won’t repeat myself too much, but we’re given not one, but two very nuanced and complicated stories to work with and the characters are faced with likewise decisions. Before we end off, I’d be remiss if I didn’t talk about Robert Carlyle’s acting because this man is a star here. He displays this insane range throughout his time on the series, but this episode may be one of - if not the best - depictor of it. We get to see his cowardly side, the first bits of madness from being The Dark One, and his more manipulative tendencies in Storybrooke. It’s all conveyed flawlessly through his voice’s tone, body language, and facial expressions. What’s better is that the use of props, costumes, and makeup come together alongside his acting to enhance every moment of screen time he has and show the contrast between his dynamics across the worlds.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

Sorry! Not my deepest analysis, I know, but I hope I conveyed just how much I enjoyed the episode! Sometimes, it’s hard to explain what makes something good, but I hope the more comedic “Insights” segment was enough to entertain. Thanks again to the fine folks from @watchingfairytales for putting this project together! Season Tally (66/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (23/70) Liz Tigelaar (10/20) David Goodman (9/50) Jane Espenson (16/60) Andrew Chambliss (8/10) Ian Goldberg (8/10) Operation Rewatch Archives

#watching fairytales #ouat 1x08 #ouat #ouat rewatch #jenna watches ouat

10 notes · View notes

ntrending · 5 years

Text

The weirdest things we learned this week: College students swallowed guppies for sport and chickens wore glasses

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/the-weirdest-things-we-learned-this-week-college-students-swallowed-guppies-for-sport-and-chickens-wore-glasses/

The weirdest things we learned this week: College students swallowed guppies for sport and chickens wore glasses

This story is a tough one to swallow. (DepositPhotos/)

What’s the weirdest thing you learned this week? Well, whatever it is, we promise you’ll have an even weirder answer if you listen to PopSci’s hit podcast. The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week hits Apple, Anchor, and everywhere else you listen to podcasts every Wednesday morning. It’s your new favorite source for the strangest science-adjacent facts, figures, and Wikipedia spirals the editors of Popular Science can muster. If you like the stories in this post, we guarantee you’ll love the show.

This week’s episode is a recording of the second half of our latest live event at Caveat in New York City. Don’t worry, we’ll have another one soon. We can’t share all of our silly powerpoint visual aids in this article, but you’ll find the rules to the referenced drinking game at the bottom of this post! Enjoy the show:

Fact: Chickens are cannibals. Eyeglasses can help.

By Jessica Boddy

In the year 1842, Queen Victoria became obsessed with big and beautiful Shanghai chickens. She built them an aviary and spent afternoons there sipping tea. She bred them and sent precious eggs to her relatives throughout Europe. And just as it happened with Christmas trees and white wedding dresses, the Queen brought another one of her passions into the zeitgeist.

This chicken obsession, dubbed “hen fever,” quickly spread from Europe to America. Bostonians held an annual poultry show, where “hen men” (I swear that’s a real term and not a questionable subreddit) showcased their carefully bred chicken lineages. Soon enough, chickens became so popular that Americans would spend $1 on a single egg, or $120 for a pair of chickens. Today, that’s the equivalent of $30 per egg and $3,600 for two birds. Yeesh!

Eventually, chicken eggs became commonplace on American breakfast plates. Farmers began building coops and housing more and more chickens to keep up with demand. But to their horror, they realized stressed-out, overcrowded chickens were cannibalizing one another!

While improving living conditions does lessen cannibalism, some inventors also turned to eyeglasses to reduce bloodshed. The specs worked by blocking or disguising the sight of blood, which can enrage unhappy hens. One inventor even created rose-colored contact lenses.

For more juicy details on hen fever, and to find out how farmers keep their coops cannibal-free these days, give this week’s episode a listen.

Detail from a 1903 patent filed by Andrew Jackson Jr. (Public Domain/)

Fact: Goldfish gulping used to be a competitive sport

By Corinne Iozzio

In 1939, spurred by a $10 bribe from his friends, Harvard freshmen Lorthorp Withington Jr. downed a live guppy—and got his picture in LIFE magazine, to boot. So began the great swimmer-swallowing craze of the late 1930s. Kids across the country began battling it out in an absurd game of one-upmanship, in which a student at Clark University eventually would down some 86 goldies. The shenanigans even bred an official governing body, the Intercollegiate Goldfish Gulping Association, which stated that in order for one of these “meals” to count the fish must be at least 3 inches long and must also remain in the competitor’s stomach for at least 12 hours.

The fad died within a year, but YouTube is still littered with its effects. Steve-O, of Jackass fame, attempted to complete the so-called “Goldfish Challenge” only to cough up the pair of guppies—still alive—moments later. Many folks continue to swallow live pets today. In one particularly gruesome case, a high-as-hell Dutch man downed a pet catfish, which became lodged in his gullet and required hospitalization to extract.

Wasted or not, this is all quite unpleasant for the humans involved, but it’s also a pretty brutal end for a pet fish. Our throats squeeze food on its way down, and even a stomach full of water is too hot for a little swimmer to breathe. There’s also a lotta acid down there, and digestive enzymes specifically formulated to break down protein. At best, a goldfish probably has just a few minutes to escape before all hope is lost.

Fact: There was once a man whose life-long, literally insatiable hunger drove him to do terrible things (including, allegedly, eating a toddler)

By Rachel Feltman

The story of the man now known only as Tarrare is tragic, mysterious, and impossible to confirm—but according to doctors of his day, there is at least some truth to the tale of this horrifically hungry boy.

Born in rural France in the late 18th Century, Tarrare was reportedly a pretty normal-looking man. Well, relatively normal. He had an unusually wide mouth, stained teeth, and pale, sagging skin (kind of like a blonde, French Babadook, I can only assume) and while his frame was of a typical size for his age, his belly frequently became grossly distended. Why? Because he ate… everything. Some even claimed he’d been kicked out of his childhood home for eating more than his parents could provide.

This voracious character’s short life had many twists and turns. He was a street performer, a soldier, and, very briefly, a spy—one who ate military secrets and then pooped them out on demand. Unfortunately, while Tarrare was fantastic at eating things and did an awful lot of defecating in his time, he turned out to be terrible at espionage. So instead of being remembered as a superhuman war hero, his biggest claim to fame is that—while hospitalized in search of a cure for his appetite—he may have resorted to munching on medicinal poultices, stray animals, blood, human corpses, rotting garbage, and perhaps even a live toddler. Most of the things that doctors wrote about Tarrare are probably embellished or even totally fabricated. But on this week’s episode, I get into the fascinating and horrifying details—and some possible explanations for the hunger that ruined Tarrare’s life.

Drinking game rules

Take a drink of your fabulous and refreshing beverage of choice whenever:

Someone makes a pun (two drinks if it gets a groan!)

Rachel makes a joke about the fact that we obviously planned the live show in advance even though the podcast is totally spontaneous we swear

Unexpected butts

Someone in the audience is audibly appalled (or just appallingly audible)

A cast member says the word “Weird”

Body horror or otherwise excessive mention of viscera

If we try to declare a tie you have to finish your drink, so you’d better cheer loud for your fave

If you like The Weirdest Thing I Learned This Week, please subscribe, rate, and review us on Apple Podcasts (yes, even if you don’t listen to us on Apple—it really does help other weirdos find the show, because of algorithms and stuff). You can also join in the weirdness in our Facebook group and bedeck yourself in weirdo merchandise from our Threadless shop.

Written By PopSci Staff

#Science

0 notes