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asheskies-writing · 3 months

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Another update on the status of my writing.

Again, not a new chapter, and again, first and foremost, More than a Mask is not being abandoned, I am still writing it.

...

But I do wanna explain where the hiatus is coming from.

So, when I last updated, I knew I wouldn't likely be putting out another chapter a week or two later. But I didn't think it would be this long. Several things came together to kinda throw my writing schedule off.

First, I wound up getting surgery, and during recovery, I wasn't in a state to write.

Second, as you all probably know from my notes, I write a few chapters ahead. Which meant the next chapter was technically done, but I was withholding publishing until the next next chapter was done. I do this for a few reasons, I like to keep ahead of the curve with chapters, and it also helps me make continuity edits if I need to make sure something is going to be relevant a chapter later.

But, I realized there were a lot of issues with the next chapter. It was long, and even with that, I was putting a lot of important story events into what was effectively a timeskip summary of a week or two.

So, I wound up taking the time to break that chapter into two, and turn the events that would've happened over the timeskip, the fairly important story events that deserved focus, into... well, that. Into scenes that will fully play out.

But that meant effectively rewriting the chapter. Twice. And then accounting for any changes that would make later down the line.

That's the step I'm on now, I'm almost done rewriting the second of the two chapters next chapter became, after which I will need to make sure everything still lines up with... the following chapter. God this got confusing with me leaving out chapter numbers.

But even with all that, this has been really slow for me, and the reason for that is probably the most important factor in this whole scenario.

When I entered this fandom, I knew very little about the voice acting cast for it. In the past few months, though, one thing of note has crossed my attention.

Hailee Steinfeld, Gwen's VA from the Spiderverse movies, has a history of supporting the Israeli Occupation Force, something that to the extent of my knowledge she hasn't rescinded.

It should go without saying that this is disgusting. Israel has been occupying, oppressing, and committing a genocide against the Palestinian people for nearly eighty years now.

Now, frankly, this topic deserves a level of focus that certainly doesn't fit into an explanation on why a fanfiction hasn't updated for a while. I'm bringing it up here, mostly, to make it clear that I disavow her and don't stand by anyone who supports genocide.

While I'm not abandoning the fic, this has definitely shattered my momentum, and I only feel comfortable continuing to write More Than A Mask because she isn't the sole VA for Gwen, she didn't start the character, she doesn't define the character, and honestly my preferred version of Gwen would be textually trans and voiced by a trans woman anyways.

So updates will be slow, and it still might be a bit before the hiatus ends.

And, more importantly, if you aren't educated on what's happening in Palestine, please take the time to research, and then lend what support you can to the Palestinian people going through unimaginable hardship. There are some wonderful people on tumblr who can verify which donation funds actually make it to Palestine and make a difference.

And if you don't have any money to spare, I'd like to recommend Arab.org. There's a button you can click there daily to raise money for Palestine, the money raised comes from ad revenue meaning you don't need a cent to be able to help.

#i know this is long and i know i don't have a lot of followers #but i'd at least like to provide an explanation as to why the hiatus has been as long as it has #there's a lot of important things to talk about regarding Palestine #but frankly i'm a white american. if you're reading this post i'd rather you seek out Palestinian voices and listen to them #than to focus on my take

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karisworldofwords · 3 months

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Alright, incoming rant about ESC, you've been warned. See this as a continuation of the reblog I posted earlier by the way.

I feel like ever since 2018, ESC has just really taken a nose dive. This might be personal bias since 2018 was the last year Germany made it into the top ten with Michael Schulte on fourth place and ever since, we've consistently scored only last place at best, negative last at worst like it sometimes felt but I digress - my point still stands. Of course, I absolutely loved last year's ESC, especially the entries from Finland, Norway, Germany, Australia, Czechia and Slovenia, but it doesn't change the fact that Eurovision quite recently just lost its usual flair and charme to me that it had all these other years. Might be because it's getting too political, might be because songs make it into the competition that most people don't want to have there aka rigging and such, might just be a mix of both - choose whatever fits you most.

And quite honestly, I may have lied a bit when I said in the hashtags that, due to my lack of connection to this year's ESC already, I don't have as much of a hard time boycotting it because truthfully, my heart does break in various places when I know I want to watch, eat or do something that I usually enjoy, but I can't because otherwise, I'd just show my silent support and approval for something that's happening or just generally going on that I don't agree with because, well, my personal morals would like to have a word there. Think of it as me being a queer American eating at Chick-fil-A - I'd actively go against my own community by supporting this company, as it's known that they regularly donate rather large sums of money to openly homophobic and transphobic organizations. It's something along those lines.

Key words here: The Russia-Ukraine war and the Palestinian genocide. Especially the latter however.

And I wanna use this opportunity and say: If you support Isr*hell and you follow my page, please unfollow me. Block me if you must, but at least unfollow me - because I do not support genocide in any way, shape or form. And you cannot argue with me that what Isr*hell is doing isn't genocide, because going from the word's definition, it quite literally is.

Just today, I learned through that post I reposted onto my feed here that Isr*hell is still allowed to participate in ESC, despite its atrocious deeds against Palestine. Just today, I also learned through a trusted friend that the Palestinian flag isn't allowed in the venue in Malmö during the contest, whereas the Isr*helli flag is still allowed. All while Russia is still banned from said contest for reasons quite similar to what Isr*hell is currently committing. It's called ethnic cleansing, by the way, there's no use in dancing around the topic and trying to talk it prettier - "schön reden", as we Germans say.

Once I heard of these things, my decision was clear as day - and I openly admit that I didn't have a broken heart at first. That only set in later, once the realization of the actual gravity of this whole situation completely hit me, as if I just got smacked by a brick straight in the face and my glasses shattered into my opened eyes. That's what it felt like to me once everything finally set in - once I knew "Yeah, a country has fucked up again yet is still allowed to do its thing so I'll have to boycott it because I have a conscience, unlike those people".

Now think about what the EBU decided to do. When Russia first started attacking Ukraine so mercilessly, Russia was kicked from Eurovision. Unrelated to the Slavic war but when Belarus pretty much abolished freedom of speech, they were kicked as well. But now that Isr*hell is actively lynching thousands of people day by day, it's suddenly alright and they're still allowed to participate? Where does the hypocrisy stem from? The absolutely blatant double-standard? The utter definition of "Rules for thee, not for me"? My guess lies in what happened during the 40's - which might also very well be the reason why my country's government vehemently defends this straight-up murderous country whilst claiming the country these individuals (to stay at least somewhat respectful although I don't really believe they deserve it) are currently actively demolishing, pulverizing and erasing from the maps never existed in the first place and thus, it doesn't really matter. Because Isr*hell is the place where Jews were from, where they started spreading from - not like a disease of course, just generally speaking - and where their roots have always lied. Because of what happened to them back then, they're now all scared to openly say "Ayo, guys, that ain't exactly right, don'tcha think?" since it's pretty clear - at least to me - that then, these people would pull the N*zi card almost immediately and scream discrimination based on just that.

A religion's basis being somewhere specific and having had to watch that religion be almost wiped out completely due to absolute lunatics back then isn't a reason to abuse that power though and play victim whenever it feels right to them. If anything, one would think that it'd be more of a reason to look back at what happened during those times and teach the future generations "This is what happened, let's all work together and make sure we never become like them back then". But instead, they abuse their victim status of back then into today's day and age, making many Jews around the world look absolutely horrendous in the process and throwing their own people under the bus by openly doing what had once been done to them. Makes me question if it's a weird form of Stockholm Syndrome, to be honest.

And the EBU allows it. When just a year or two before, they went all strict parent on another aggressor who did quite a similar thing. Make it make sense.

Thanks for coming to my Tumblr TED talk, and sorry for the length of it - I also have no idea if all of this makes sense, I'm just really pissed about this situation at the moment and needed to vent. Feel free to add your own thoughts as well, if you'd like, I'm always open for discussions as long as they're respectful and in a dignified manner.

#esc #eurovision 2024 #eurovision song contest #eurovision #free palestine #🍉#ebu #and again just so y'all get it #those of you who follow me who support these murderers can fuck right off #unfollow me block me what have you #just don't fucking interact with me #and don't even *try* to start an argument with me as you *will* be blocked instantly #thanks y'all

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themaninthelighthouse · 2 months

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From the River to the Sea, All Will Be Free

From the videos shown in the last meeting, it's clear how much chaos this war has brought to people's lives. This long-standing war has been ongoing for years and affects people on both sides. However, we must always be careful not to call it a conflict because this is not a conflict; this is a genocide towards the Palestinian people. Unlike what the videos show, we should not equate the experiences of Israelis with those of Palestinians because they are not at all the same. The crimes the Israeli Government has committed against Palestinians are far worse than what is commonly known, and with countries like the USA government offering support, the situations are not comparable.

With this, I have also realized the importance of Nonviolent Communication, given that it is our social responsibility as humans to be conscious of the things happening around us. We may not feel the impact directly of the war that is happening, but it is certainly affecting us in ways like economic forces and also socially related issues, such as the displacement of people being forced to live in places they are not familiar with. What we could do as individuals in showing empathy is boycotting companies or businesses that are continuously funding the genocide; we could also use our voices through social media. With language and communication, we could use this to amplify the calls that should bring attention to these happenings. We could always ask what these affected people want or need, hear their calls, and express our feelings and deepest empathies towards them, as simple as that. Indeed, Nonviolent Communication is a great tool in aiding the abolishment of conflicts like these; and we all can do this by joining local peace protests here in our country, given that there is nothing as strong as us people coming together, standing as one, to make the people in power accountable for the things they do. Not all things should be done in violence since violence already exists with the war, and there is no need to contribute more violence anymore. This is literally a humanitarian crisis that only we, ‘humans,’ can solve even without the slightest help of machinery and violence. I will always and never stop hoping for a day where I get to see these people covered with the debris of chaos see the sun without them worrying about whether or not they get to see it again tomorrow.

Hence, we should always call for a ceasefire and never stop talking about it because even though you may not hear about them soon, it is still happening and will still be happening in the future if we don't do anything about it. A little empathy isn't that hard to muster, so whatever we can do, even a little shared post or even doing things like boycotting is already a big help. However, it is also important that we can make other people aware of this too.

#politics #palesine #free palestine #non violent communication #intercultural communication #intercultural

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stramberryparadice · 3 years

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SHINGEKI NO KYOJIN #139 - THE IMPOSSIBLE FREEDOM ?

Here is the English translation of the post I wrote here in French.

I apologize in advance for my mistakes, I'm not good in English but I hope that will be understood.

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Shingeki no kyojin is finished. A leading manga of the 21st century has just ended in tears, blood, mourning, disappointment, frustration… and love. So many emotions come to me when I read this final chapter, I needed to express them as clumsily as it is. I’m sure it’s going to get lost in the Internet, but whatever— it is necessary to remove both the joy and the frustration that I feel to pay tribute to Isayama who offered us a work as powerful as it is cursed.

As intense as it is uneven, as perfect as it is imperfect.. like his tragic hero Eren Jäger, who shows us that men are so weak and pitiful in the face of time and the cruelty of the world. How much even if this hero possesses in his hands the power of a God. My analysis will surely be clumsy, I apologize. And I will not fail to point out at the end the bitterness felt on the final development of some characters including that of Misaka Ackerman.

Eren like “CryBaby”

What a slap for the reader to witness such an emotional picture. Yes. Isayama reminds us to what extent Eren isn't a brave knight, not a charismatic hero, not the genocidal demon of this story but a child.. whose weight of Destiny is too heavy to bear. Scan 139 reminds us to what extent we have lost ourselves, just as Eren has in the way, forgetting the very essence of the story that has been told to us from the beginning. It’s not a story of geopolitical warfare, a biological parasite, titanic monsters, a northern deity, or a philosophical-esoteric trip. It's the story of a boy who wants to emancipate himself, to live for himself, tasted of the thirst for adventure, the tranquility of his loved ones but born in a cruel and alienating world that leaves room only for death, abuse of power, betrayal and despair .

A journey where the child becomes an adult at the cost of his or her life. Learning the most painful lesson… To be an adult is to renounce one’s dreams, to bend one’s knee in the face of the servitude of one’s mortal condition, to be content with one’s cage in order to enjoy the little that one can have at one’s disposal, to mourn those who may disappear from one’s life.

A young boy who dreamed only of freedom, surrounded by people who love him. A child whose inspirations, as impulsive, unreasonable and immature as they may be, will push him to his limits. A child who grew up too fast, who could not mourn his mother, aware of her physical and spiritual weakness, who was confronted with the violence of this world which reminded him of his condition of being insignificant, a pawn on the chessboard of the "Way".

A child whose powers worthy of a God then gives him the possibility to realize the unthinkable, almost the absolute fantasy of every Man : to shape a world in his image, to be as free as a bird flying above the clouds without reddish stain to touch the sky. Move forward, Move forward whatever the price… move forward for an illusion of freedom, for an infantile obsession.

And by assuming the role of the wicked “demon” of tales so that the brave knights can free this world from the evil that eats it.

Lost between the present, the past, the future.. time no longer makes sense. Only finality counts, annihilating its titans whatever the price. They have to pay for his mother. They have to pay for his fallen comrades. They must pay for reminding us of our pitiful helplessness as human beings.

But the Demon also has a heart, remorse, feelings, there are people who attach him to this world. Therefore, what to choose?

Divine Freedom or Mortal Love? The impossible equation... Although Eren may have travelled the road in search of the answer, how can freedom and humanity be reconciled? Free your people and protect your loved ones, though imperfect?

______

He will not find the answer— neither by searching the past of the goddess Ymir, not by consulting the other Titans carriers, not by creating the different alternative realities that led to the same observation… only death can free the bird from its cage, only the death of Humanity is able to reconcile the sublime and the hideous. Or rather, a common enemy that will crystallize all their ills. But who would be crazy, brave enough to accept being the victime ?

Like a Christic figure, Eren will assume this role. But not without having to confide his last wishes, his last secrets that can no longer contain… because yes, the demon is limited by his adult condition of 19 years. Yes.. the child has grown up. Recklessness, impulsiveness, daring in the face of death, the omnipotence of the child leaves room for a teenager who is now afraid of dying, who has succumbed to love, who doubts, who is aware of his weakness.

Eren has finally become a man...in pain. He finally accepts his feelings, his weakness in the face of death that awaits him.

He’s not a running child anymore. The plates are only explicit about this. The power of narration.. we come back to the fundamental of this history, which is human psychology. The feelings, the relationships that unite all people between them. Friends or enemies, men or women, child or adult, Eldien or Mahr... Despite our differences, our disagreements, we are all equal and weak in the face of death... but also in the face of the love we can bring to others.

Yes, Eren is a weak hero. Yes, he admits to loving Mikasa. He admits that until the very end, he didn't know how it was going to go. That he was himself a pawn in the divine game of Ymir. Another puppet at the service of a little girl who is also blinded by her duality, by her toxic love for her executioner. One cannot remain insensitive to this remarkable development of the character of Eren whose death was inevitable. For whoever plays with divinities can only lose his humanity, his freedom too. By the ultimate sacrifice of his selfish and human desires finally. Eren alone became the true savior of this world. He will also have kept his promise to his friends, to the beings he loves by offering them last memories through the “Way”.

Selfless Love or True Freedom

As Mikasa said: The world is cruel, but also … Very beautiful.

Whoever sets a glance without hatred on the world, with compassion, with love for his neighbor will be able to claim to touch with the finger this Freedom so sought.. a selfless love, not turned to satisfy one’s own selfish desires.

Because Love, like hate, takes different forms.

Love connecting us to our roots, our family of blood…

Love binding two beings who love each other, desire each other, cherish each other, seek each other….

Love that binds us to his comrades, his battalion, his family of choice, his heart…

Love that life brings to us in all its forms…

Love… this power that is unpredictable and uncontrollable.

And that can become the obsession of a lifetime. It is by becoming an obsession that love becomes as destructive as hatred, and sends us back to our condition as an alienated Man… locked up in his “Path”, in his cage.

It's by demonstrating resilience and self-sacrifice that man can taste freedom. We can find redemption in the love that others have for him, that we also have for him. For a few hours, a few years…

At the cost of a renewal of the cycle of hatred, because man remains selfish, not all are ready to make sacrifices. Therefore, Mikasa and Eren have made the greatest of sacrifices for the survival of their comrades and the world: they give up their chance to be happy together, sacrifice their desire to be together for the rest of humanity. As in tragedies, the main heroes are victims of Destiny, are those who will pay the price so that others can flourish and live. The children have become adults.

Just as Armin is no longer the whiny little boy to protect. Unlike Eren, he managed to learn from his mistakes, grieve, face his own fears, confess his love to the girl he loves. It is finally he who will raise the wounded little boy, who will comfort him.

The frustration

Mikasa is the main character of the story. It's through her that awakening is made, it is through her hand that she closes this long journey. In Eren’s memories, it is always central. It is the key, the final solution.

It's his psychological, his emotional journey that we will follow throughout the manga. Eren is only a complement, the character who crystallizes his goals. In a world where men are “dominant”, the woman must bend her knee, support her prince so that the light shines on him. Isayama knew how to play perfectly on this classic code of narration. Whether one agrees or not with the conclusion of certain female characters, the work often highlights the fact that men are only victims of their passions and obsessions.

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Only women seem to emerge victorious in the face of the cruelty of the world : they take up arms (Historia), continue to fight in the face of despair (Mikasa), enjoy life and bring joy around her (Sasha), support other women in their emancipations ( Ymir with Historia) question their education (Gaby) disobey (Annie), go against the “moral” principles to survive (Ymir Frizt who continues to love his executioner), sacrifice for the common good (Hanzi Zoe)… But of course… without also paying the price of sacrifice and making concessions.

Historia bears a child of a man whom she does not seem to like but assumes the role of the mother whom she would have liked to have while assuming the heavy attribute of the office of Queen in a country plagued by nationalist tendencies guided by fear. With Eren’s help, she did not give in to the temptation of self-sacrifice but decided herself who she would save or not, what path she wanted to follow. Her desire was to be a mother, a good mother. Whatever the father, it was an indestructible motherly love that she wanted to offer to a child. The one she never had.

Mikasa agreed to kill Eren because, if she had given him another answer, their life as fugitives would have been but a fleeting dream and Eren’s death was inevitable.

Despite her powerful love for Eren (as addicted as he may be, explained by the power of the Ackermans?), she will break the chains of her servitude by killing her only Love. She is the light. She accomplished the journey of a true heroine by demonstrating resilience, by giving of herself for the world.

She had only eyes for Eren.. was open to others, to show empathy, a desire to continue living for other comrades who are dear to him.

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Mikasa also leads the way in Ymir Fritz… you can love a monster, you can be a prisoner of a toxic relationship but you can free yourself from it. One can become free, but the price to pay will be to carry this infinite sadness, this frustration of having been able to live another story if things would have been different. By her kiss, she showed what true Love is.

Although the frustration is present, although we would have liked her to turn the page and rebuild her life, she must also pay the price of her “freedom”, of her “survival”: haunted by the sacrifice of Eren, guardian of her memories, from her grave as if to preserve her existence as long as she can live.

Once again, women show that they are stronger than we think. So Ymir was also able to free himself of his toxic link with the King by making the Titans disappear.

In the image of the bittersweet end of the chapter, which shows us that the disappearance of a monster, of a divine force “responsible” for the horrors, is not the long-awaited salvation.

The vices, the human fears will remain the poison, preventing us from reaching this illusory freedom. Men do not need deities to dig their own way to death.

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From "occidental" point of view, it is true that this is a blow to the “strong” women of the work still alive. Reduced to being collateral victims of Love, as toxic as this link may be (Ymir-Mikasa). Reduced to attaching themselves to winning or losing romantic figures depending on whether their love-interests is the villain of the story (Mikasa-Annie). Reduced to their role as mother-benefactor (Historia-Gaby).

It’s awkward, but I think Isayama wanted to show that no one is spared. That no character can claim complete tranquility and sweet freedom.

Everyone has had to sacrifice something to survive, and women and men are equal in this judgment. Women also remain victims in a world that remains dominated also by the cruelty of Men (the human race in general). They are not completely free, they are also trapped in roles.

Everyone carries the weight of his choice. That characters have a duty to remember, to pass on to future generations the horrors they have lived to try not to reproduce the same mistakes. Even if their new life choices are imperfect, disappointing for those on the outside.

Levi sacrificed many of his comrades to fulfill his promise to Erwin in his quest for truth and to continue the fight for Eldian freedom.

Armin and Mikasa sacrificed Eren: their friend, their love, the dearest being to fulfill their promise to discover the outside world and touch that freedom.

Like Levi Ackerman and his love for his battalion comrades. As for Mikasa and his love for Eren (because she saw the human behind the monster). She has been waiting for a sign for 3 years to see him again in order to follow up on “see you later Eren”.

Finally, a bird comes to give him his wrap. To encourage him to go forward again. To continue to live…

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The most free people are those who honestly and sincerely love someone. Those who are able to see the beauty of the world despite its ugliness. Who give without waiting for return. Those who continue to look at the world without hatred, those who do not succumb to its cruelty. Tears are running down…

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spicymayo1983 · 3 years

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Hiya. This is part 2. You delve deeper into your relationship with Poe and he reveals some secrets about himself that break your heart.

Will you ultimately sign the papers and walk away?

Warnings, smut, angst, talk of PTSD and genocide, fluff, not for anyone under 18.

Scene 2, Aftermath

The atmosphere in the room immediately changed, from the giddy euphoria of great sex to one of awkward silence.

You had given in to temptation and his seductive charms. Poe could look at you with his smoldering good looks and he knew that you would soon be in his bed.

You hated yourself for having sex with him and enjoying it too. But Poe had that effect on you, mentally and physically, it was nearly impossible for you to resist him.

You suspected that Poe knew this, and took advantage of it at times.

After a chance encounter at a birthday party for a mutual friend you met Poe. You fell hard for the handsome, brave black leader and he fell for you too.

You were both absolutely besotted and had trouble keeping your eyes, and hands, off of each other.

You'd never loved anyone with such an intense passion, a ferocity, as Poe.

After dating for nearly one year the two of you decided to get married in a quick but lovely little ceremony. Surprising everyone around you.

Some of your friends had expressed a little concern that things were progressing too quickly, including Finn.

But you were too blinded by love, maybe even lust, to listen.

Your son was conceived on your wedding night, both of you were ecstatic at the news that you were going to be parents.

But noone was more excited than Poe. No matter what he tried to be there for every check up and pampered you while you were pregnant and after the birth of your son.

Everything happened at a dizzying pace, a blur. Within two years you had become a wife and a mother.

You were starting to realize that maybe things happened too quickly. That instead of spending a little more time to know and understand Poe you had instead rushed off, gotten married and had given birth to his child.

But then you would gaze into the dark eyes of your beautiful baby, kiss the top of his little head that was covered in dark curly hair and see Poe, your husband, and start to fall in love even more.

It was a painful cycle that was ripping you apart at the seams.

"I guess I could say that I'll always have some affection for you because you are the father of my child." You explained calmly as you looked down. "But I can't say that I love you anymore".

"I'll always love you but then again I'll always love Finn too". Poe confessed as he looked away from you. "We have a special bond that you wouldn't understand, we've been through so much together".

"Why weren't you honest with me about Finn? Are you still closeted?" You continued calmly. "I don't get it, I feel like I was lied to and led on".

Poe looked irritated at your choice of words. Finally with a deep sigh he looked at you and said,

"There was never a closet, I fucking hate that term".

"Then what was it then?" You continued, genuinely curious.

"I always assumed that everyone knew about us, that Finn and I were more than friends, we were so obvious at times". Poe continued, laughing bitterly. "But certain higher ups didn't want us to be together so we kind of kept things hidden, a secret".

"I'm so sorry to hear that and I can't say that I understand how it feels". You confessed as you looked down again. "Just so you know I don't hate Finn, this isn't his fault, he's still my friend".

"Jakku broke me a little". Poe confessed with a bitter laugh as he fought back tears. "A lot, actually, I still have nightmares about everything sometimes, Finn supported me and helped me with things when noone else wanted to, or could, he understands me".

Poe's candid and raw confession brought tears to your eyes. You could see the hurt and torment in his eyes and hear it in his voice.

"If you want to cry, do it". You told him with a slight smile as you took Poe into your arms. "Let it all out, if you can, talk to me".

"The first order killed everyone in their path, including women and children". Poe told you as he buried his face into your shoulder and started to shake. "A mother and her little girl were killed right in front of me, when I try to sleep sometimes I can still hear their screams".

You had to remain strong for him but your heart was shattered by his confession.

You held onto him tightly and protectively, kissing him on the top of his head, as Poe started to cry. He felt safe in your arms as you lovingly cradled him.

"I love you and I don't want you to go". Poe confessed as he snuggled closer to you.

Poe got on top of you and started to kiss you again, you let it happen, and progress. It didn't take long for him to be back inside of you, and you were enjoying soft, half asleep sex.

Your bodies, and souls, felt deeply connected.

You'd be a liar if you said that his bare cock didn't feel good inside of your body. It felt too good, actually. The raw, skin on skin sensation was almost overwhelming to your senses.

Poe enjoyed his second climax deep inside of you, you felt it too. His cock got extremely hard, and warm, as he spilled his thick seed within you.

You were taken back to the warm, beautiful night that your son was lovingly conceived.

The scent of sex clung heavily in the air, just like that night too.

Only this time you felt like the smell of your sweaty, mingling bodies was taunting you.

"This isn't good, not good at all". You confessed as you burst into tears and held your head in your hands.

"Gee, thanks a lot". Poe snapped as he turned his back to you.

"Why did you even marry me if you knew that you were in love with Finn?" You screamed as you burst into tears.

"Because". Poe snapped, sitting up and looking you deeply in the eyes as he fought back tears. "You could give me the one thing that Finn can't, okay? I don't know what I would do or where I would even be without my son".

"So you used my body like an incubator?" You screamed back as you slapped him as hard as you could across his handsome face.

"It's not like that". Poe explained as he started to cry. "I love you too, I didn't use you, it's just that you could have my children, and I guess I wanted my kids to grow up with a mom and dad".

"You picked a poor choice of words". You screamed as you stood up and got out of bed. "It's over, Poe".

You went into the kitchen and shakily signed the divorce decree, as soon as you were finished you got dressed and left, without saying goodbye.

Six months later

You were free. A single woman again. Much to your surprise your last sexual encounter with your now ex husband had resulted in a second pregnancy, another boy.

After many tears and much debate the two of you decided to keep the baby.

Poe was excited that he was going to be a father again.

Finn and Poe were living together and engaged. You had patched up things a little with your ex and were now friends.

"You're huge! How are you feeling?"

"A little tired and achy but otherwise fine, the second pregnancy is going along a little easier".

"I can't wait for our second little boy to be here".

You were nearly 7 months pregnant and had decided to surprise Poe in the resistance hangar.

He looked ridiculously sexy in his orange jumper, his curly hair askew.

Even though you were no longer together Poe was once again a loving and supportive partner.

You were the friendliest of exes. You even had plans to attend his wedding after the baby was born.

"Why did you walk away so easily?" Poe asked with a slight smile as he lovingly rubbed your massive baby bump, leaning down and kissing it.

"Everyone deserves to be with their soulmate". You confessed as you fought back tears. "And it can't be denied what you and Finn have".

"So you love me so much that you let me go?" Poe asked with a soft smile as he lovingly embraced you.

"Yes". You confessed, finally losing control of your emotions as a flood of tears streaked down your face.

"I love you too". Poe whispered into your ear as he held you tight. "And I'm sorry that you found out the way you did".

The end

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