#outofmemory

[aralisj]

You are the first person I found that also sees autistic trades in Carmy.

Last year after the first season (I loved it so much! I watched it 3 times & some episodes even more often) I even came back to tumblr just for this series, I needed more content!

I saw so much of myself in Carmy, I never before saw a character so much like myself (although I'm a woman, from Europe & not good at anything at all).

All his struggles with other humans, it was like looking into a mirror, seeing myself.

So I got a psychological evaluation for my anxiety and other stuff. After some research I thought maybe I'm autistic. Getting officially diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder with autistic traits. I still have the feeling I'm autistic and at the same time I feel like an imposter for feeling that way.

Carmy is such a people pleaser, so unaware of how other people see him, his bursts of anger, his fidgeting with the spoon, wearing the same kind of clothes, him not understanding other people except in regards to food. Him getting used and abused by other people (NY chef, his mother and brother, even Richie but with him the punches at least back & does not only take it, take it and take it). Other people have to point out that his relationship with Claire makes her most likely his girlfriend, that reminds me so much of myself when I had to ask my sister if my boyfriend had shown interest in me because I could not say for sure.

And maybe I'm just projecting, but for me it looks like he never looks other people into the eyes just with Sydney (yes I do ship them but I do not mean it like that) and Richie. Maybe it's just me but I do not like to look into the eyes of people I do not know at all/well, it's hard work to do. But it's easier with people I know for longer and I feel safe with. I still let my eyes wander to be able to concentrate better but it's easier to look directly into their eyes. At least I think I'm better with them. Or it's the camera angles fault XD.

In regards to friends, do you think all the connection he does have in the culinary world see him as a friend but he himself does not recognizes them as friendships. For example Luca?

Sorry this is kind of long and I'm rambling. A long text just to say yes I see it too. :)

I had a very similar experience with the show. I watched season 1 twice and I think I'm due for a rewatch quite soon.

During my first watch I didn't really see the autistic traits per se but I definitely related to him. Especially when he talks about routines and being good but completely burnt out at the same time - that was my experience at school.

I started looking into getting professionally diagnosed right about the time when I rewatched and I realized his experience echoed mine especially in the ASD related stuff. I made a post about it, and I believe it really resonated with some people within the autistic community, not just as a headcanon.

I feel you, I haven't gotten my official diagnosis because tests are very expensive. Plus, I'm a woman and I have been masking all my life, so it's hard to get a psychiatrist to believe that you are actually struggling. Maybe there's some overlap with avoidant personality because my psychiatrist has mentioned it a number of times, and it would make sense for Carmy to develop a disorder as a result of his family trauma.

And yes, a lot of his "quirks", the things that make him seem high strung and shy, could also be signs of ASD. I hadn't noticed that he's literally wearing the same clothes all the time but you're absolutely right. The Claire storyline really shows that he doesn't know how to navigate relationships and needs it spelled out by someone else (and honestly, same). He's concerned with being "shitty" but doesn't know when he's being perceived as that and so he asks Sydney to be his gage (my sister is mine)

I think you're right about the eyelines, and I guess it makes sense in the kitchen, since there's always something to do, you can talk with people without looking them in the eye, or taking breaks in between. I like talking while I'm walking or in the car, no eye contact 👌👌👌

You make a good point that he isn't particularly aware of who is his friend and who isn't. When Claire called him and told him that Fak said he was his best friend, Carmy took a second to process and then agreed. He has no idea. And I think that also plays a part in being used by other people - if he doesn't know what friendship or a healthy family relationship looks like, he's going to take it all like that's normal, which is not great

I do believe that Luca and Chef Terry would consider him a friend. They took in one of Carmy's staff, no questions asked, just believing in his judgement. Especially Chef Terry talks about him with a certain fondness that feels very sweet. With Luca, they probably had a more competitive, sort of brotherly thing going on but they ended in good enough terms? I don't know, I'm just guessing.

Thank you for such a thoughtful and generous message! I believed that I would get backlash when I first posted about my feelings on this subject but everyone has been very kind and supportive (not everyone agrees but no one has been rude and I count that as a win lol)

I hope you have better luck getting a diagnosis, and that you get to navigate this chaotic world as easily as possible 💜

#my reply is super long too sorry about that #the bear #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #replies #outofmemory #💜💜💜 #the bear meta #autistic carmy

[badcircuit]

Hi, I commented on your post regarding Sydneys tattoo, I mentioned it looked to me like a sea turtle. Now I can't see my comment anymore, I did not remove it or anything else. Did you maybe do something to my comment? Your post is not the only post I commented where I get the information "Some replies may have been hidden, blocked, or removed" regarding my comment and I just want to know what is happening to my comments.

Thank you for your time and have a nice day!

So sorry but thanks to tumblr dot hell being the website that it is, I'm just now seeing this. I didn't restrict replies and I can still see your comment on that post so I'm not sure what was going on. I hope the problem is resolved for you.

#outofmemory #asked and answered

[neverwholelahey]

@tmrrwppl

"ALE!" Isaac is yelling very loudly in my head right now. He wants his mama ale's attention.

#tmrrwppl #tomorrow people without vowels #is this #outofmemories #or #in character #who knows #it's both #lol

[captainpirateface]

NEW SARCOMA HORROR ALBUM!!!

And, because I'm so damn excited about it...

SARCOMA HORROR asked if I would record a little bit of audio he could use in his album. I did. AND THEY USED IT!!!!

I'm officially on the "Intro" and "Outro"!!!!

I'm so honored to be just a small part in this amazing artist's music!!

Full album on Spotify:

Full album on YouTube:

#SARCOMA HORROR #digital hardcore #digital music #support ukraine #captainpirateface #bipolardepression #chemicalimbalance #electronica #electronic music #new music #music to my ears #music to listen to #captainpiratefacelovesyou #sighthsandsoundsofinstagram #sights and sounds of tumblr #spotify #digital art #digital #wtf #music videos #music vibes #music visualization #music video #music vlog

[mesotokyo]

USB-BLE MIDIインターフェイスを作る - 環境構築編

1000円ちょっとでUSB-BLE MIDIインターフェイスを作ってみようという話です。

最近Bluetooth LE（BLE）を使って無線でMIDI信号をやり取りするのが流行ってますね。しかし、WindowsではBLE MIDIの対応があまりよろしくなく、Bluetoothが使えるPCでもBLE MIDIを使うのは難儀な感じです。ということで、いわゆるMIDI端子に接続して無線化するBLE MIDIインターフェイスを買うかな……と思っていたわけですが、そんな折ふとワイヤレスMIDI製品で知られるQUICCO SOUNDの通販サイトを見てみたらBluetooth MIDI基板なるものが。

これ、小型IoTボードのSeeed Studio XIAOシリーズに似ているよなあ、XIAOシリーズはBLE対応しているし、USBポートも搭載されているからこれでUSB-BLE MIDIインターフェイスを作れるのでは？　と思い立ち、早速秋葉原でボード2種類を買ってきました。

XIAOシリーズには複数の製品ラインアップがあるのですが、そのなかでも安いのが「ESP32C3」というモデル（税込940円）と、「ESP32S3」というモデルです（税込み1,150円）。

軽くネットで調べたところ、どちらも少なくとも公開されているBLE MIDIライブラリには対応しているようでした。また、USB MIDIに関しては、少なくともESP32S3についてはネットでUSB MIDIデバイス化させている記事（「蛇腹楽器型MIDIコントローラーV2 ～ USB MIDIデバイスの作り方」）がありました。

ということで、とりあえずESP32S3で試してみましょう。

開発環境を整備する

Seeed StudioのXIAOシリーズはArduino IDEで開発やプログラム書き込みが行えるのですが、そのためにはArduino IDEに追加のライブラリやボード情報をインストールする必要があります。設定方法はSeeed StudioのWebサイトに詳しく書かれているので、この手順通りボードマネージャURLの追加を行えばOKです。

USB MIDIやBLE MIDIに関しては、Arduino MIDI Libraryと組み合わせて利用できるライブラリが公開されており、これを導入することで簡単に利用できるようになるようです。いくつか選択肢もあるようですが、今回は次の3つを導入しました。いずれもArduino IDEのライブラリマネージャからインストール可能です。

Adafruit TinyUSB Library

Arduino BLE-MIDI Transport

NimBLE-Arduino

動作テスト用コードの実装

まずはこれで本当にUSB MIDIデバイスやBLE MIDIデバイスとして動作するのかを検証するため、MIDIのnote on/note offメッセージだけをやり取りするコードを書いてみます。前出の「蛇腹楽器型MIDIコントローラーV2 ～ USB MIDIデバイスの作り方」や、「NimBLE + BLE MIDIで音を出した」、「M5StickC で、BLE-MIDI ドラム」などを参考に、こんな感じでコードを書いてみました。

やっている処理は

各インターフェイスの初期化

BLE MIDI側で受け取ったnote on/offメッセージをそのままUSB MIDI側に送信

USB MIDI側で受け取ったnote on/offメッセージをそのままBLE MIDI側に送信

の3つだけです。BLE MIDIの接続時にLEDを光らせる部分のコードはそのままコピペしたのですがコンパイルエラーになったのでとりあえずコメントアウトしています。

ビルドと書き込み

ボード設定はこんな感じです。

ボードとして「XIAO_ESP32S3」を選択し、それに加えてUSB Modeとして「USB-OTG (TinyUSB)」を選択しておく必要があります。また、色々とライブラリを使用しているためかArduino IDEがOutOfMemoryでフリーズしたので、前回記事で紹介したArduino IDEのメモリ設定の変更も行っています。

書き込み自体はボードをUSBでPCに接続し、シリアルポートを適切に選択して書き込みを実行するだけ行えます。念のため書き込み後はいったんUSBケーブルをポートから取り外して、再度USBポートに差し込んで再起動させています。

動かしてみる

BLE MIDI対応デバイスと言えばiPhoneやiPadですね。ということで、PC上のAbleton LiveからMIDI信号を送ってiPad上のGarageBandを鳴らしてみました。Ableton Liveからは問題なくUSBデバイスとして認識され、またiPadからも問題なくBLE MIDIデバイスとして認識されました。MIDIノートの送信もできています。

ただ、若干発音タイミングがヨレています。このあたりは改善したいところですが、果たしてできるのでしょうか？

（続く）

#diy electronics #hardware hacking #arduino #midi

[everydaygremlin]

"why is my pc being so slow again????" famous last words before a java.lang outofmemory error

[glowyjellyfish]

Okay so over the weekend I was working on my CC with the 50/50 method, going through a list of about 8,000 new files, and finding an annoying large number of bad/conflicting files one at a time. I decided to try something different, and went through and manually cleared out all duplicates I could identify, since the download organizer was no help at all for some reason. And it definitely helped! Before I did this, something in the latter half of my New CC folder was causing the game to hang up while loading, and clearing out several hundred obvious duplicates DEFINITELY eliminated that. Okay, cool! So I started 50/50 again, and hit a bit of a wall when I discovered that the repositoried version of the Celtic Bed set was causing crashes, but the separate version was not. What the hell? I would like the repositoried version, that is smaller and has nice new recolors! I couldn’t find any obvious conflicts with that—I did have both version of the crib, but the internet claimed that was okay?—so I started trying to run SimPE’s GUID conflict checker, and REPEATEDLY it refused to reach the finish line and give me a list of files. First I let it run for an hour before bed, it didn’t finish, and I had to close my laptop so I could sleep so of course it couldn’t accomplish anything overnight. I tried running it again in the morning while I was at work, and when I got home it was just sitting there with no list of files. Okay. So I tried AGAIN, this time running it while playing a completely different game on my computer so I could better monitor it. ...and an hour in, I got a power outage due to weather, and felt forced to close my laptop and cancel the process yet again. When I got power back, I started it up again, and an hour into it the damn thing started throwing up OutOfMemory errors that interrupted anything else I was doing. It wouldn’t stop the scan, wouldn’t open Task Manager, and there was nothing else for it but forcing my computer to shut down because it was getting too late for me to click through every error just to see if it would somehow give me a finished list despite that.

So now I’m incredibly frustrated and feel like I accomplished nothing whatsoever yesterday. The source of the conflict is PROBABLY a damn alphabet soup file I can’t identify, and I can’t really clean those out without carefully loading a more functional game so I have an idea what I’m throwing out, but file information from the download organizer didn’t help anything, and the 50/50 method is only showing me the repositoried bed I would prefer to keep. The internet has not been helpful in finding out potential GUID conflicts, and of course I can’t do anything at work and am very frustrated.

I guess I could try a 50/50 variation where I keep the New CC folder in, or at least check if it crashes by itself, and then 50/50 the rest of my stuff? I was quarantining the new content because I knew the rest was sufficiently functional, but something is definitely wrong if such a large portion of new CC always finds conflicts. I mean, I added a lot of new stuff and clearly a bunch of it was stuff I already had and forgot, but it should probably be possible to add some new downloads without fucking the whole thing up every time.

...really, I should stop installing downloaded lots. Even with the clean installer, it’s more trouble than it’s worth. It is incredibly likely that some lot before I got the clean installer put in an old copy of the Celtic bed, named it alphabet soup, and didn’t include any identifying information; or that some random decor junk installed that way that nobody remembers exists and is conflicting. BAH.

I would much prefer to be solving that problem than trapped at work, and I have run out of anything I can do on the Megakingdom that doesn’t involve running the game. I invented a calendar and gave everybody birthdates, filled in all non-randomized info, made up rules for ships and sailing, made up rules for war, came up with a few global ROS ideas. I am DONE I just need to be able to get in there and do stuff arghhhhhhhh

#sims 2 #the sims 2 #simblr #troubleshooting #also complaining

[brassaikao]

Stable Diffusion 啟動參數 - 讓顯卡記憶體VRAM 2G 也能跑

Stable Diffusion採用CUDA協助執行算圖，故電腦必須要使用支援CUDA的NVIDIA顯示卡，且算圖對於顯示卡記憶體VRAM的要求非常高(官方建議4GB以上)。 以下為最低耗用顯卡記憶體的webui-user.bat啟動參數，在此設定下，可以生成的圖片大小約為300*400還OK，但512*512就會出現經典的OutOfMemory了。 @echo off set PYTORCH_CUDA_ALLOC_CONF= set PYTHON= set GIT= set VENV_DIR= set COMMANDLINE_ARGS=--xformers --medvram --opt-split-attention --no-half-vae call webui.bat

View On WordPress

[immortalempyrea]

do you like divine, immortal guardians tasked with millennia-long missions? how about a lonely girl who’s been handed way too many burdens and responsibilities? no? oh, well then...

how about a harbinger of the apocalypse born into the wrong person’s body and now seeks to destroy the very thing she is? there’s also some identity crisis involved. the situation is a bit complicated.

anyways, please give this post a like or reblog if you’re interested in writing with an independent and selective Fu Hua and Herrscher of Sentience roleplay blog from Honkai Impact 3rd!

#honkai impact rp #genshin impact rp #multifandom rp #genshin rp #honkai rp #[ can you tell i was kind of struggling to introduce these two here #uhhh anyways most of my pages are up it's just. fu hua's very long backstory #nice to meet you all? i want to interact =w= ] #;promo #;outofmemories

[noctiistenebras-blog]

Hi, hello, just some words of news since I haven’t been very active here!

So part of my attention went into a new blog, although I did plan to do stuff on Waylon since I didn’t take too many threads. Except I kind of got heatstroke some days ago and while I got better by the next day physically, I think my mind needed more time to recover.

The weather cooled down finally, and I feel good now, so I should be able to reply to threads soon enough. Just know I do lurk around, checking my inbox/IM!

#OutOfMemory

[neverwholelahey]

why do i want rip my heart out angst

#outofmemories

[neverwholelahey]

Accessability

We are in 2023, why do we still need to have this discussion? 

If you're an icon or gif maker and make resources smaller than 100x100, then you should consider also releasing the same set but as 100x100 or 125x125 so more people can use your resources. Because when saving an icon/gif you can choose what size you save it as. Which means you could easily make them bigger from the start and then when saving them make the second set of the size you desire. But PLEASE think about other people who want to use your resources but can't because they are too small. Then also try and use psds that make it easy to tell what is in the icons, so not too grainy, and or contrasting colours on the icon so you can’t make out who it is, or what facial expression they’re making. Like the point of icons or gifs is to be able to make out your characters face, what they’re looking like for the moment of the reply. 

I should also mention i am a resource maker and run the blog thelovelyicons

It’s the same with themes, please use fonts that are considered accessible, and don’t use double small, double spaces, or fonts smaller than 12pt. Because those options make it harder for people to read. Especially people with disability, and double spaces make it so screen readers can’t read the posts. 

Then there is the themes, don’t make them too small, or too busy. Make sure your links are easy to find, like a drop down menu, or straight up just a link bar under your description or next to the description. And for example, make sure your text is dark enough, or light enough to contrast against your background colour. 

Something similar for graphics, make sure it’s easy to tell what’s in them. So again, don’t make them too busy, or use psds that make them hard to tell what’s in the graphic you’ve made. Like the promo graphic.

So please consider that what is accessible for you, is NOT accessible for everyone. 

On a side note, I’m not considered disabled. However, I have friends who are, and some of the aesthetics of today, make it hard for said friends to use and interact with a majority of blogs on this site. Which saddens me a lot, because I want them to be able to experience this place as much as I can.

Thank you for reading this. Let’s help make tumblr more accessible. 

#rph #dearindies #rp accessability #outofmemories

[neverwholelahey]

'Can I climb that tree?' Isaac dash commentary about one of @tmrrwppl s muses

#outofmemories #zeke can guess #also luke has no business looking that good with shaggy hair and beard

[neverwholelahey]

Currently in my drafts

3 replies for changxlingfae

1 reply for charmed-redemption

#outofmemories #drafts

[neverwholelahey]

the total of gif icons ended up being 550

#outofmemories

[neverwholelahey]

Lol doom scrolling YouTube and Caelan pipes up and says she wants a Maine coon. @tmrrwppl John can I have a Maine coon?

#outofmemories #tmrrwppl #tomorrow people without vowels