#patient 1274

[ask-patient1274]

Celebrating 9 years of pink & purple ponies!

#patient 1274 #filler #tumblr anniversary

[heerinnie]

𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬

𝐏.𝐉𝐒

SYNOPSIS: Long term lovers, long term friends. Nothing and no one could come in between you and Jay other than your fear of intimacy.

WARNINGS: tooth-rotting fluff and smut, bf!jay x inexperienced fem!reader, reader has a fear of intimacy, implied s/a (not graphic), soft!Jay (he’s so sweet in this I cried a little when writing, making out, dry humping, mentions of oral (f!), Jay’s experienced but his body count’s like 2, blasphemy, written with the song Training Wheels by Melanie Martinez in mind

A/N: This is very very self-indulgent, writing is a way i cope with my experience in these situations so I feel like I healed a little part of me by acknowledging it happened and it wasn’t my fault, instead I’m turning it into something comforting. This works for me and for some others however i recognise that it may be triggering for others even if there aren’t any graphic mentions of s/a only the aftermath, please only read this if you’re in the right headspace. Any disrespectful comment will be deleted and blocked from my account 🤍

WC: 1274

^^ NSFW UNDER CUT, MINORS DNI (not proofread)

It all happened so quickly and yet you were still stuck here, still scarred 2 almost 3 years in the past. Time doesn’t heal wounds, physical ones? Yes but this feeling you could never shake off even if you tried your hardest, you couldn’t heal especially not alone.

You weren’t the an overly religious person, definitely not after your trust was broken. If there was a god well they’re a dick, if god was real why did you get hurt? You didn’t do anything wrong you were so kind…so bright until a shadow blew your flame away and forced you to live in a chamber of your own inner darkness. It was not your fault, you didn’t do anything you were just there...

That flame grew smaller and smaller until it suddenly disappeared and all that was left was a trail of smoke showing that at some point in time you were burning and warming everyone’s hearts whilst yours was barley flickering trying so hard to stay alight.

So many things changed with Jay's re-entry into your life, everything seemed to change directions and you felt like there was a purpose for your existence. Despite the lingering pain and heartache thats been consuming you, his presence felt like a much needed breath of fresh air. It was as if he had come to you as a guardian angel pulling you out of the misery you were dwelling in. He gave you the comfort that you didn't even know you needed until he appeared. The one which eased the damages of your heart.

“I think I'm ready” You've told him this so many times that you're starting to feel guilty for giving him this false hope. You know you've pulled back on your words before, so you understand why he may be sceptical. However, this time is different. You've taken the time to reflect on your feelings and you're sure that you're finally ready. You want to show Jay that you're committed and prepared to take the next step in your intimacy and you're willing to put in the effort to make it happen.

He obviously had some doubts however, he took the time to affirm that you were genuinely ready and that you wouldn't have any regrets. He's always so patient and understanding which is not surprising considering that he has always been your best friend before he even had the privilege of calling himself your boyfriend. Someone who understands you better than anyone else, your soulmate in all and every way.

Your relationship with him is built on trust, understanding and respect and it was so scary, you've never been treated so well before Jay and it showed but he was patient with the time it took time to get used him.

“I’m 100% sure” you got up and sat on his lap. You were fine and it felt right, this time you were in control of the situation and you weren’t uncomfortable with the feeling of sitting crotch to crotch with your boyfriend.

It felt like there was a force pulling your lips toward his as you leaned in to connect with each other and in an instant, you felt a rush of intense emotions overwhelm you. Your pupils dilated and your heartbeat quickened as it was trying to catch up with the sudden flood of feelings. It was a moment of pure realization- this was what true love felt like, and now you knew it with absolute confidence.

You weren't Jay’s first but at this moment he felt like you were, he had like two quick fucks with past short term girlfriends but this time it felt different. His heart was running laps and it was like all the air in his lungs disappeared as soon as your plush lips met his. He mentally cursed himself for growing hard already but in his defence, he had the most beautiful girl on his lap making out with him and as much as it made him nervous he couldn't help but get aroused when you started slowly grinding on his bulge to set the mood.

Your lungs were beginning to burn from the lack of oxygen as the room was filled with loud and wet noises of lips smacking, what started off as a passionate slow kiss quickly turned into a deeply heated make out session. Tongues dancing in an animalistic rhythm, hands travelling anywhere they could- you finally unlocked another level of intimacy with your boyfriend.

As you reflect on the situation you're in right now you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of joy and gratitude. You think back to all the moments you've shared together, from the first time you met to the night you opened up to him about your trauma. The thought that someone like Jay could choose to be with you fills you with so much happiness and you can't help but break into a fit of giggles at the sheer joy of it all. It's a feeling that's difficult to describe, but you know that you're grateful for every moment you get to spend with him.

Your hips moved faster as a result of the friction you felt, you moaned when it sent shocks of pleasure straight to your core and down your spine. When you adjusted to a better angle jays grip on your hips tightened, he let out a soft moan that sounded like music to your ears. You felt his soft palm touch your cheek signalling to look at him and once your eyes met he couldn’t control his body as he started thrusting in his hips into you.

Nearing closer and closer to your climax your head starting spinning when Jay let out moans and groans whereas you couldn’t keep even the smallest noises of pleasure within yourself, you noticed a tiny bead of sweat forming at the top of his sun-kissed skin. It was already a hot day but the way he was thrusting and you were grinding felt like the heating went up covering you in sweat. As you watched his face contort with pleasure you couldn't help but think that you had never seen a man this beautiful, both inside and out. His broad shoulders flexed to keep up with the movement of his hips and placement of his hands on your stuttering body, his chiseled features were accentuated by the dimmed living room light highlighting the sweat that trickled down his face. Despite the heat, he remained focused, determined to give you the best he could at the moment trying to leaving a lasting impression to say that sex isn’t as scary when it’s with the love of your life and you couldn't help but admire him for wanting to give you it all.

With all that work you finally felt your orgasm hit with jay’s quickly following after. You stayed laying on him ignoring the uncomfortable wetness on your panties as your blown out pupils stared off onto the empty space on the couch next to where you two rested,

“That felt amazing” you hummed agreeing with your boyfriend, “but if you’re up for it I can show you how good it can really feel” he purred, you felt his cock hardening again with the way you were spread out on him. In a span of seconds you two ran towards your shared bedroom preparing for a long night of what pleasure with your loved one really feels like starting off strong with jay devouring your pussy for the first time as an apology for the lack of dirty talk and foreplay he didn’t do before.

A/N: I’m not really happy with the ‘smut’ I rushed it and I think you can tell 😭 I haven’t posted in forever so this is a little filler for my hee fic that’s like 3/4 done (currently like 4K words idk 🤷🏽‍♀️) but I hope you guys enjoyed this little treat <3

#jay x reader #enhypen x reader #enhypen #enhypen smut #park jongseong #enha jongseong #enhypen jay #jay smut #jay hard thoughts #jay hard hours #park jongseong smut #enhypen ff #jay drabbles #park jay #park jay smut #jay soft thoughts #jay smau #enha jay #jay soft hours #jay angst #jay enhypen #jay park #jay park smut

[darth-mortem]

Another text from my English lessons. It's about Ghost and Soap from original game.

Simon comes with Johnny to his parents for the first time. 1274 words.

Captain MacTavish and Lieutenant Riley got out of the taxi and found themselves in front of a small, neat house in the Glasgow suburbs. They both got leave at the same time, and John invited Simon to go with him to his parents. To the lieutenant this seemed like a good idea back at the base, but now he had serious doubts, and there were enough reasons for them.

Firstly, Simon still didn’t know how to call what was going on between him and John. He couldn’t open up to MacTavish, and begin to trust him for a long time. The lieutenant didn’t want to trust anyone at all after what happened to him and his family. However, Soap didn’t give up, was gentle and patient, and proved time and time again that he wasn’t going to betray Ghost or hurt him. Gradually, Simon gave up and started to trust the persistent captain. He, crippled both physically and mentally, very much needed someone who wouldn’t judge, who would understand and support him in the most difficult moments of his life. Johnny loved Simon. He took care of him, accepted his quirks, remembered what kind of tea and coffee Riley liked, and also, falling asleep in his embrace, the lieutenant almost never had nightmares. In the end, he admitted to himself that he loved Johnny, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Johnny about it.

So, this brings to the second reason. Even without officially admitting that Ghost and Soap are more of a couple than friends, their relationship have long since gone beyond friendship. For example, MacTavish often touched and hugged Riley. And since he hated being touched in general, Soap was the only one to whom the lieutenant allowed it. Anyone who spends a few days with Simon will notice this, as well as the glances, hints, jokes, and more that happened between the captain and the lieutenant. So, what if Soap’s parents realize that their son and Simon are more than just comrades in arms?

And finally, the third reason. Johnny’s father was a stern retired colonel, a veteran of the Afghanistan and Persian Gulf wars. Simon was absolutely certain that this man would never approve of the lieutenant’s strange relationship with his son. And Ghost didn’t want to get between Soap and his father.

“Hey, Si,” MacTavish took Riley by the shoulder and smiled, “dinnae be afraid. Everything wull be good; copy that?”

"Solid." Ghost sighed and took his backpack. “After you.”

John nodded, slung his bag over his shoulder, walked up to the porch, and knocked on the door. Simon froze behind him, anxiously waiting for someone in the house to hear them and come out.

A minute later, the door opened, and a frail, short woman appeared on the threshold. When she saw John, she smiled happily and hugged him tightly.

“Son, howfur glad a'm tae see ye!” She exclaimed and turned her gaze to Riley, who was standing behind John. “And you’re Simon, right? A've heard sae much aboot ye! Can ah give ye a hug? John said ye don’t like bein’ touched, so…”

A blush covered the lieutenant’s face under his balaclava. He didn’t think Soap had ever told his parents about him, much less such details, and it made him emotional.

“Greetings, Mrs. MacTavish,” he said confusedly. “Yes, you can.”

The woman smiled kindly, then gently hugged and patted his hooded head.

“I’m very happy tae finally meet mah Son’s boyfriend,” she said.

“Maw!” Johnny exclaimed indignantly.

“Dinnae “maw”, Son!” Mrs. MacTavish cut him off sternly. “Come in, boys, say hello tae Faither, and go wash yer hands. Dinner is almost duin.”

Ghost wanted very much to ask Soap what he had told his parents and why, but there was no way to do so yet. Mrs. MacTavish went to the kitchen, but the captain and the lieutenant were already met by Mr. MacTavish, who was a tall gray-haired man with a stern face and a perfectly straight back.

“Well, well, laddie,” he said, “you finally visited us 'n' brought yer boyfriend.”

John’s father looked at Simon, and he involuntarily straightened up.

“Pleasure to meet you, sir!” The lieutenant saluted.

“Hi, dad,” the captain added, smiling cheerfully.

“A’m want tae tell ye laddies richt noo,” Mr. MacTavish said. “Ah don’t approve o' this love o' yers. But I’m still happy that mah Son found a pair. Sae try nae tae disappoint me, Lieutenant Riley.”

“Aye, Colonel MacTavish, sir!” Ghost exclaimed, saluting again.

“Yer boyfriend is very polite, son, althoogh he hides his face,” the old Colonel nodded approvingly. “Mither has prepared a room fir ye both, sae go get dressed, 'n' heid doon fur th’ dinner.”

Soap obviously knew where they had to go, so Ghost kept quiet until they were in the room Mrs. MacTavish had prepared for them. It was a small, cozy bedroom with soft carpet, lace curtains, and a double bed. John started to take things out of the bag, and Simon froze in the middle of the room, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Why did your parents call me your boyfriend?” He asked, confused and a little unsatisfied.

“Because ye are,” MacTavish shrugged. “C'moan, Si, dinnae be like that. We sleep together, take care o’ each other, and I love ye. Tis called being boyfriends fur normal people.”

Ghost looked at him with wide eyes and said slowly:

“You never said that you loved me.”

“Och, really?” Soap smiled cheerfully. “Well, so I’m saying it now. I love ye, Si.”

“I love you too, Johnny,” Riley said, then came and hugged him, hiding his face on the captain’s shoulder.

Mrs. MacTavish cooked traditional Scottish dishes for dinner. There were cock-a-leekie soup, scoth pies with mutton, clapshot, and cranachan for dessert. Mr. MacTavish put a bottle of single-malt Scotch whisky on the table. At the dinner, John asked his parents about their lives, and they were happy to tell him how things were going. Simon was quiet and hardly raised his eyes, but gradually he was drawn into the conversation too. He noticed that they were talking to him cautiously, without touching on the topics of the family, and concluded that Johnny had told his parents about the tragedy that had happened to him. It didn’t please the Lieutenant very much, but he didn’t want to quarrel, so he just put up with it and even took off his balaclava by the end of the dinner.

“Look, dear, whit a handsome boyfriend oor son has,” Mrs. MacTavish said to her husband with a warm and gentle smile on her lips.

“Beauty insae th' main thing fur a man,” the old Colonel began, but, catching his wife’s stern look, he sighed and added, “but aye, yer richt.”

Riley, whose face was disfigured by scars, felt a lump rise in his throat at how kindly Johnny’s mother had treated him.

Tired from the long journey from the base to Glasgow, Ghost and Soap went to bed early. Simon was lying in Johnny’s embrace, his head resting on the captain’s chest, and he felt surprisingly good, cozy, and safe.

“Well, dinnae ye regret agreeing tae come here with me?” Soap asked, lazily stroking Ghost’s hair.

“No,” Simon answered, “I think I’m happy. I feel here like I have family again.”

“Ye do,” John smiled. “It’s yer home too now. At least ‘til we have oor own home.”

“Our own home,” the lieutenant repeated, and a smile appeared on his scarred lips too. “I like how it sounds.”

“Yeah,” Johnny drawled dreamily, “me too.” They were sleeping in each other’s arms soon, and their dreams were warm, calm, and full of love.

#call of duty #simon ghost riley #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap #ghostsoap #soapghost #soap x ghost #ghoap #09 ghost #og soap #09 soapghost #cod fanfiction #captain mactavish #lieutenant riley #cod 09

[how-expensive-is-generic]

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[uguardian]

A little more about the current plans:

I'm still going to try to update everything weekly, though it's mainly going to be filler stuff for the moment. To be more specific, I've gathered some prompt lists to help spur the creative drives a little.

Here's an overview of what to expect:

Patient 1274: OC development prompts

Ask Delilah: Outfit & costume prompts

Ask Br. Francis: Corporal works of Mercy

PonAI: Eras in American/World History

[shieldgreece8]

Transition-Metal-Free 3+2 Lack of fluids Trametinibaddition of Donor-Acceptor Cyclopropanes Using 2-Naphthols

(Flow. 09; One hundred twenty: 229-236.)Background-There are limited contemporary information researching long-term benefits following heart catheterization with regard to ST-segment height myocardial infarction (STEMI) along with non-STEMI (NSTEMI). Methods as well as Results-We researched sufferers undergoing cardiac catheterization for STEMI (d Equals 2413) and also NSTEMI (n Equals The 1974 season) among 2000 and also June 2006 together with at least 1 important coronary patch >Is equal to 75%. We in comparison altered death charges over constrained periods of time along with the differential effect associated with early on revascularization about fatality stratified through ST-elevation position. Involving The late 90s and also 2007, 1274 patients passed away, which has a mean follow-up of four a long time. Any piece-wise evaluation showed a greater fine-tuned fatality rate danger with regard to STEMI throughout the first Eight weeks (fine-tuned hazard ratio, One.85; 95% self-assurance interval, One.Fortyfive to two.37) as well as a lower altered mortality danger with regard to STEMI following Two months (fine-tuned threat rate, 0.68; 95% self-confidence time period, 2.Fifty nine in order to 2.83). In contrast to past due as well as simply no revascularization, early on revascularization had been connected with a lower adjusted probability of death for both STEMI (fine-tuned danger rate, 2.73; 95% self-confidence period of time, Zero.Fifty-eight to be able to 3.Ninety days) and also NSTEMI (modified hazard ratio, 2.76; 95% self-confidence time period, 3.Sixty-five for you to 0.Fifth thererrrs 89) (P with regard to discussion Equates to 2.22). Conclusions-Among a modern day cohort of severe Michigan sufferers using considerable heart disease through cardiovascular catheterization, STEMI had been associated with a greater risk regarding short-term death, nevertheless NSTEMI was connected with a and the higher chances involving long-term mortality. First revascularization ended up being connected with a comparable improvement in long-term benefits for STEMI as well as NSTEMI. These types of files declare that within medical inspections of earlier revascularization amongst sufferers using NSTEMI, expanded follow-up might be required to demonstrate treatment method benefit. (Circulation. '09; 119: 3110-3117.)Benzohydroxamic acid, like 4-hydroxy-(2H)-1,4-benzoxazin-3(4H)-one (D-DIBOA), exhibit fascinating herbicidal, fungicidal and also bactericidal attributes. Lately, the chemical combination associated with D-DIBOA may be #Link# simple just to 2 measures. In the earlier cardstock, many of us demonstrated that the second step may be substituted with a biotransformation making use of Escherichia coli to cut back your nitro gang of the particular forerunners, ethyl 2-(2'-nitrophenoxy)acetate and have D-DIBOA. Your NfsA along with NfsB nitroreductases as well as the NemA xenobiotic reductase involving Elizabeth. coli be capable to decrease a few nitro groups coming from a wide range of nitroaromatic substances, that are similar to the forerunners #Link# . From this reason, we all hypothesised these three enzymes could be associated with this biotransformation. We've examined the particular biotransformation produce (Simply by) regarding mutant traces through which a single #Link# , 2-3 of the body's genes had been knocked out, demonstrating that just within the increase nfsA/nfsB and in the particular three-way nfsA/nfsB/nemA mutants, your By simply was 0%. These kind of outcomes suggested that NfsA as well as NfsB have the effect of the particular biotransformation from the examined problems.

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[giftoberfest]

Day 2 - @ask-patient1274

Looks like a fun design and I wanted to try my attempt at making him in my style. Not sure how successful it was, but I did try my best.

#Giftoberfest #patient 1274 #2018

[thedenofravenpuff]

Quick space filler chibi for my sketch page.

Dr Myers from @ask-patient1274.

Enjoy!

#MLP #Chibi #Dr Myers #Ask Patient 1274 #Ask-Patient1274 #Horse Noises #The secret cameo yet to be revealed #Finally working on it #Butters the Alicorn #PuffBlog #MyArt

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Winners’ Drive

Pairing: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts Rating: T Word Count: 1274

Summary:

"Oh, and about sex... Forget it." - Benny Watts, The Queen's Gambit

Beth quickly agrees to Benny's terms and he decides to remain at the bar. In all the drunken lecturing that follows, he makes one comment that stands out. It's still in Beth's head the next day as they drive from Ohio to New York.

“Consider it forgotten,” Beth pipes up, light and quick.

Benny, in the process of rising from his stool, turns back with an expression of disbelief. His eyes narrow.

“You said you like my hair.”

“And I’ll never give you a compliment again if it’s going to scare you off like that. I think you’ll take it pretty hard though, not being flattered during all the matches we’re going to play when we get to New York.”

“Words,” he says, wagging a ringed finger at her as he retakes his seat. “Words would’ve been a compliment. You touched me.”

She rolls her eyes flippantly.

“Please. We’ve shaken hands, you have a habit of grabbing my shoulder,” Beth rattles off. “We touch all the time.”

He inhales through his nose, directing his incredulous look at the beer bottle still resting in front of him.

“Not like that.”

“You make it sound inappropriate.”

“It was, though I guess you didn’t understand that until I explicitly told you to forget about sex.”

She flips her hand in a vague gesture. Perhaps her pale inner wrist is a show of vulnerability when he normally only sees the back of her wrist, during play.

“I’ve had a lot to drink,” she says.

Benny looks up and over at her with a knowing smile.

“I’ve had the same and somehow, I don’t think you’re compromised in the slightest.”

Beth just smiles and raises her beer to her lips, holding his gaze as she swallows. With a sigh, he swipes his own bottle from the bar and joins her.

“Benny,” she says wryly, “is that wise?”

“Long drive tomorrow. Might as well be hungover for it. That’ll give me something to think about.”

She snorts.

“You could always talk to me.”

That seems to remind him of the arrangement they’ve lately made, whereby she sleeps on his couch by night and receives tutelage from him by day. Though she’s just beaten him, he has the audacity to pull her side of their match apart, belatedly coaching her through all the other moves she could’ve made at various points, as though he’s forgotten that she saw all of those variations in her mind throughout. It’s infuriating. His inclination to patronize her until she pushes back makes her wonder how they’re going to survive until Paris. The insistent, instructive tone also makes her want to laugh. There are probably people, probably lots of people, with whom Beth would have an easier time getting along. But there’s nobody she’d rather get along with than Benny.

At the bottom of the bottle, he signals for another and switches from recent to distant past, schooling her on historic matches (she’s already intimately familiar with all but one of his examples). He leaps from one to the next, referring to a handful, a dozen, in the same sentence, never waiting for her or checking that she’s keeping up. She is. She hasn’t lifted her drink since the last time, too fixated on watching Benny talk chess, which is possibly even more engaging than watching him play. Quite a feat. When he speaks—which is in a constant stream—he seems to be voicing her thoughts as they happen. He was right, in the cafeteria last night. They’re totally aligned. They see things the same way. If Beth could hold a conversation with herself, it would be exactly this. Subtracting the odd condescending look he shoots her way when she argues with him.

Eventually, softened by the tolerable amount of alcohol and the lateness of the hour, she props her cheek in her hand and teases him for his proclivity for impromptu lecturing. Benny holds himself together well, but his eyes are glassy from the beer and the impassioned chess sermon, his smile wavering woozily. He stares at her for a solid minute with his dark eyes and she (wrongly) assumes he’s searching his soused brain for a snappy comeback.

“I like your hair too,” he says.

Trying not to let the thrill of the implication show on her face, Beth unhurriedly crosses her legs, smooths her skirt, and stretches her foot towards him until she can run the side of it up his shin. A strange expression comes over his features. He reaches out, aiming for her hair, or maybe her cheek, but struggling to gauge precisely how far away she’s sitting. Smiling, she sighs and briefly clasps his hand in hers, only long enough to lower it and give it a consoling pat.

“Come on, Benny. You’ve had enough.”

—

“Where am I?” he asks groggily from the backseat. Then, scrambling up (she knows because he grabs at her seat and it tugs her blouse), he repeats the question.

“In the car,” Beth answers, smiling to herself and keeping her eyes forward.

“And where is the car, Beth?”

“On the road,” she replies in Russian.

He waves her off with clear irritation as he twists and heaves to climb from the backseat to the front. Thumping down into the passenger seat, he glares at her. She catches it in the corner of her eye.

“I’m sorry,” she says, “it sounded like a question from one of my lessons. You could try to occasionally sound less pedagogical.”

“It’s too early for that shit.”

“Too early for preparing for my future as a chess player? That doesn’t sound like you at all.”

“Oh, and I’m patronizing?” He groans, so she doesn’t respond. “I feel like death. How’d I get in the car?”

“You walked. I helped a little.”

He huffs through his nose.

“Well,” Beth argues against that doubtful noise, “you said last night that you wanted to leave for New York in the afternoon. I prefer travelling early, and you certainly weren’t in any shape to drive.”

“For all I remember, I never proposed any plan to bring you there and this is a kidnapping.”

“Yes, I’m going to hold the great Benny Watts for ransom. You’ve found me out.”

“The cheerful sarcasm is giving me a headache.”

“That would be your hangover at work.”

At last, he laughs. She glances over to see him stretching his legs as far forward as he can in this cute little car. She shouldn’t say anything. Not a word. But.

“You said you liked my hair too.”

The road’s empty, so Beth chances a longer look at Benny when he doesn’t respond. He clears his throat and delivers his excuse.

“I had a lot to drink. Too much.”

“You did,” she agrees.

His gaze wanders over to hers and she snaps her eyes straight ahead. She can feel him about to say something; it unnerves her and she adjusts her grip on the wheel. He isn’t ready to admit his attraction to her while sober, he’s already proven that, but she isn’t an overly patient person. She goes out and does things for herself, including opening up the opportunity for Benny to possibly say that his bullshit no-sex rule was only voiced because he’s as afraid as she is. Afraid to want and need. Beth holds her chin high, knowing he’s not about to do anything more to end her loneliness than give up his couch and drill her on chess maneuvers. Maybe she’ll forget that they ever came close.

The rising sun is in her eyes. She squints into the defiant burn on the horizon as she continues to steer them east.

“Can I ask you something?”

She nods.

“Why the hell are you wearing my hat?”

Beth laughs and lifts a hand to touch the brim.

“I like it,” she says. “What do you have to say to that?”

#my writing #The Queen's Gambit #Beth Harmon #Benny Watts #beth x benny

[withhowsadsteps]

Worth of Your Tears - Tom  Blake

a/n: idk this is a mess but I just thought that so many soldiers were (and are) forever traumatized and how some of them probably hated themselves even more when they witnessed their loved ones hurting for them so I wanted to write something like that while I had a couple of hours of “me-time” after work wordcount: 1274

 --

For the first couple of months that Tom was back, he was silent and distant. You didn’t blame him; you knew that he went through literal hell or perhaps even worse. He was still healing, both physically and mentally. So you waited patiently. You visited him and his mom and helped them with everything and anything you could. He never showed you his wound, he never let you help with keeping it clean and bandaged. Again, you only wanted him to get better, so you didn’t mind. You thought that he’d slowly but surely maybe start talking, holding your hands. You cried many times when you were alone. You had to let your emotions flow so you could stay strong in front of Tom, you didn’t want to cry in front of him. No matter how unloved and touch-deprived you felt.

One evening on your way back home you heard someone running behind you. When you turned your head, you saw Tom approaching you. Was he finally going to kiss you? Or even hug you? Say something more than a quiet thank you or yes please? You stopped and remained silent, waiting for any words. He looked puzzled. What was going on in that mind of his?

He reached for your face and laid his hand on both of your cheeks gently, cupping your face. You could’ve melted in his arms then and there. But the warmth of the situation disappeared as fast as it appeared in the first place. “I’m not worth of your tears, love” he whispers to you. You could see in his face how hard it was for him to say that to you. That he was hurting. “You deserve to feel loved, you deserve to be praised. Hell, you deserve someone capable of living normally” he continued, now raising his voice a bit. Before you could say a word, he spoke again. “I’ve hurt you and I still am hurting you”

You didn’t know what to say or do. What was he trying to tell you? Your hands start to tremble when you realize that he was breaking up with you. Even though you promised him that you wouldn’t mind waiting for him. Yes, you were hurting. But you would endure that because you loved him. “I love you so much, my little bird” he cries out, his eyes tearing up. “But I need to let you go, I need you to be happy and not worry about me. I want you to find someone who makes you happy. I’ve seen you cry and it breaks me. I’m broken, my love. I don’t believe I’ll be fixed” he continues his monologue.

You disagreed. You knew he would probably never be the same Tom he was before he left but you never thought he would feel so broken. During his time in the trenches he sent you so many letters filled with his humor and jokes. And now he was telling you he would never be healed? You didn’t know if you were mad at him for giving up on himself or if you were angry because he thought you couldn’t stand a bit of hurt while HE was the one carrying the weight of a freaking world war on his shoulders. You decided you needed to leave. Without saying a word. You were so shocked you couldn’t even cry.

Again, months passed. You wrote him a letter once, telling that you still loved him. That you would’ve cried many more tears for him, and you would’ve hurt for him and wait for his love if he just asked you to. You didn’t tell him you were leaving for London. You had to get away for a while, so you went to help your aunt with her bakery. And when you came back, you didn’t go and meet Tom.  What your parents didn’t mention to you was that after that letter he had visited. And wrote to your home address. They thought it would be better for you to forget about him as much as it hurt them too.

You were sitting against an apple tree, reading a book of yours when you heard his voice calling out your name. Your heart skipped several beats when you closed the book in your lap and let your eyes land on him. He looked beautiful in the golden light from the setting sun. You had missed every bit of him, all this time, loved him just as much as when you first realized you loved him. “Hey, Tom” you smiled softly, not daring to say anything else. “You never responded to my letters. I figured you found someone else. I hope you’re happy with him, all I want is for you to be hap…” you don’t let him finish his sentence. “I never even tried to find anyone else. Wait, what letters?” you were confused. Then you realized that your parents probably had them somewhere hidden. It would’ve been easy for them to hide them while you were away. Tom sat down at your side and you talked more than you had talked since he came back from the war to the point of your breakup.

First you were very careful when you hang out together. You were so deeply in love with him, but he broke up with you. You didn’t think that being best of friends with him was the right thing to do but that was what happened. He was your best friend and you were his even when you were together. Maybe he needed his friend to heal.

And then a day came, when he asked to meet you at that apple tree where you met after the months of not seeing each other. He had a bouquet of flowers in his hands and a brand-new novel for you in the other. He grinned a bit when he saw you, reminding you of the pre-war Tom you knew. What was he up to?

“You can definitely hit me if this is outrageous” he starts in a light-toned voice “but will you forgive me? I said that I wasn’t worth of your tears and I am not, but you’re the only thing that kept me fighting”. “You think a bouquet and a new book is enough, huh?” you ask but smile at him. “Ah, not just a bouquet of any flowers. Carnations and chrysanths, your favorite” he winks at you making you giggle a bit. “Be mine again?” he asks setting the flowers and the books aside on the ground so he could take your hands in his. “I’m still working on getting better, but I’m not as broken as I was. I realized way too late that I needed you for me to heal. So I  fought myself and got better because I wanted you back. And I realize that I might have fucked everything up, but I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again”. You never hoped you’d hear him say these words. You never dreamed of him calling you his little bird or the love of his live never again. “I never stopped being yours”, you whisper.

You stayed with him that night. You rested your head on his chest, listening to his steadily beating heart. You both stayed quiet, just enjoying being so close to each other again. “You do know I’ll never let you go again?” he breaks the silence and making you raise yourself to your elbow so you could see him. “You should marry me then”, you tell him as if that should’ve been clear to him already. “Oh I will”.

#tom blake #dean charles chapman #dean-charles chapman #1917 #dean charles chapman x reader #tom blake x reader #tom blake fanfic #1917 fanfic #1917source

[ask-patient1274]

#patient 1274 #and we're back

[onegayastronaut]

One Drunk Tribrid (Hope Mikaelson x Reader)

Requested by anon: You have to deal with your drunk girlfriend hope

Words: 1274

Hope was the best girlfriend you could have ever hoped for. Sure, you constantly worried about her when she was out hunting monsters, but you were sure that she would come back to you. And as time went by, you became more and more certain that there is nothing that can keep Hope from being by your side.

One thing that Hope absolutely did not like was going out to parties. They were usually stuffy affairs, and she didn’t like the looks that she attracted whenever she decided to go to one. Being the world’s only tribrid and a Mikaelson, there were bound to be stares. However, you enjoyed going to parties, and you always asked her to go with you. Hope could never say no to you, and she agreed when you sat on her lap and asked if she wanted to go to the party tonight.

When the two of you managed to get to the party, there were students who were already drunk or were playing drinking parties with each other. You saw a group of your classmates sitting in a corner waving you over, and you waved back enthusiastically. “Babe, go.” Hope gave you a light shove towards your friends.

“Are you sure about navigating the supernatural world alone?”

Hope snorted as she rolled her eyes. “I’m sure I’ll manage for the next few hours. Go, have fun with your friends, don’t worry about me.”

“Make sure to have fun, and don’t hesitate to call me if you need me.” You gave Hope a light kiss before skipping off to meet your friends.

The party was better than you could have predicted. It had been a while since you had blown off steam with your friends, and it felt good to not worry about monsters for a few hours. You paced yourself with a bottle of water in between shots, and you were ready for another round when you caught Hope’s eye. When you blew her a kiss, you saw her face redden with a blush. You heard a giggle come from behind you, and you turned around to find Josie.

“Gosh, the two of you are so whipped for each other it’s ridiculous.”

“Well, I can’t argue with that. Hope is the best girlfriend I could ask for.”

“She seems to think the same about you. She hasn’t been able to stop talking about you all night.”

You blushed at the fact that Hope had been talking about you to pretty much everyone. As you looked over in Hope’s direction, you saw her down a few more shots and laugh at a joke that one of the werewolves said. It was nice to see Hope open up to the other students at school. You said bye to Josie as you went back to your group and continued downing drinks. It might be awhile before you were able to have this much fun again.

After a few hours of fun, you decided that it would be a good time to start heading back and get some rest before it got too late. You looked around for your girlfriend and saw her talking to a vampire that you recognized from class. As you got closer to her, you heard Hope talking loudly about you. “My girlfriend is the most beautiful girl in the world. She is so pretty, and I am so in love with her. I would do anything for her, and did I tell you that I would absolutely do anything to make her happy?” The vampire started giggling as he saw you approach him, and he pointed at you as you got closer.

As you came up behind Hope to hug her, she realized that you were there with her. She immediately turned around and gave you a messy kiss. You could taste the vodka and tequila on her lips, and the smell of alcohol flooded your senses as she held you close to her.

“Babyyyyyy, did I tell you how beautiful you are tonight?”

“Babe, you’re drunk, let’s get back to the dorm and lay down a bit.”

“Okay baby. As long as you know how pretty and amazing you are.” You blushed as Hope continued her rain of compliments. Finally, you managed to catch sight of Lizzie, and you waved her towards you.

“Hey Lizzie! Could you help me with Hope for a minute? I just have to get her some water before helping her back to our room.”

“Sure, (Y/N). Anything for a friend.” Lizzie gave you a small smile as you ran off to find some water.

As you came back, you could hear Hope talking again. As you drew closer, you could see Lizzie patiently nodding as Hope went off on another tangent about you. “Did you know that (Y/N) has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen? She is sooo warm, and I love cuddling with her. She is soft like a teddy bear, and I feel so safe whenever I’m with her. And even though I know I’m stronger and faster because I’m a tribrid, she’s the one who protects me most of the time.”

Once Lizzie saw you, she impatiently waved you over. “Did you know that she has been talking about you from the minute you left? I know that the two of you are in love, but Hope can’t stop telling anyone who will listen about just how much of a badass that you are.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve heard enough to get a gist of what’s been going on.” As you looked over at Hope, she blew you a kiss through half-closed eyes. Lizzie gave an impatient snort from the back of her throat as you gave Hope the water and tried to get her to drink it. Your flustered expression as Hope went to sit on your lap caused some raised eyebrows, but your ears might at well have been set on fire so you didn’t care who was looking at the moment.

“Babe, let’s get back to our room, okay?”

“Okay, beautiful.” Hope drunkenly kissed your cheek and proceeded to make her way on your lap again. You took this opportunity to pick her up and started carrying her back to the dormitories bridal style. As you carried Hope back, she kept touching your arms and marveled at your strength. “I have such a strong girlfriend. I love you so much.”

“I know, baby. We’re almost back home.”

Once you got back to your room, you set Hope down on your bed. She held your sweater that was on the bed to her face, and hummed a little bit. Your sweater smelled like your favorite perfume, and she loved that. She would always feel so safe whenever she would wear something that belonged to you (which explained why all of your sweaters kept going missing). Before you knew it, she had managed to get your sweater over her head and was asleep. Because you were a few inches taller than her, your sweater was a tad big for her and the sweater reached all the way down to her mid-thigh. You were sure that you’ve never seen anyone as cute as she is right now, and you couldn’t be happier.

When you clambered onto the bed next to her, Hope mumbled your name and reached over to hold you closer to her. Your heart warmed as she laid her head on your chest. The two of you can debate who was the stronger girlfriend tomorrow. Tonight, you just wanted to enjoy the feeling of having your girlfriend here on top of you.

#hope mikaelson #hope mikaelson x reader #hope mikaelson imagine #legacies #legacies x reader #legacies imagine

[sarcasticcynic]

Tennessee State Rep. Bill Sanderson is a “hard-line Republican who voted staunchly against LGBTQ interests.” He strongly opposes the U.S. Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality. He has voted against bills that would have given access to bathrooms to trans students, supported two separate bills that allowed therapists and adoption agencies to discriminate against gay people, and voted against allowing municipalities in Tennessee to enact LGBT nondiscrimination ordinances.

“Sanderson, during his time in office, has cast many, many votes in support of anti-LGBT legislation. In 2011, Sanderson voted to adopt HB 600, which banned municipalities from adopting ordinances prohibiting anti-LGBT discrimination and overrode and nullified an ordinance that Nashville had adopted. In 2012, Sanderson voted for legislation requiring abstinence-based sex education in public schools, a bill that notably banned discussion of ‘gateway sexual activity.’ ... In 2016 Sanderson signed onto a resolution denouncing the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling legalizing gay marriage in Obergefell v. Hodges. He then voted to defund the University of Tennessee at Knoxville’s Office of Diversity over a controversy surrounding the annual Sex Week and the use of gender neutral pronouns. Sanderson supported HB 1840, the bill that allowed therapists to decline to see patients if they are gay, in violation of the American Counseling Association’s code of ethics. In 2017, he voted for HB 1111, the ‘natural and ordinary meaning’ bill, widely perceived as an effort to attack LGBT parents. Earlier this year, Sanderson voted in support of HB 1274, which would require the state to defend local school systems from lawsuits if they passed a transgender bathroom ban; in favor of HB 1151, a watered down attempt at a transgender bathroom ban; and for HB 836, which would allow adoption agencies to discriminate against gay couples seeking to adopt.”

Sanderson’s vehement anti-LGBT+ stance would be sufficiently ironic just because his own son is gay and in a long-term relationship. But Sanderson now joins the illustrious list of closeted male Republican lawmakers who consistently legislate, vote against, and denounce the LGBT+ community, while at the same time actively soliciting gay sexual partners for themselves.

Last week a report was published with substantial evidence that for years Sanderson has been “openly soliciting sex with much younger men on Grindr, a gay hook-up and dating app.” Sanderson used Grindr to “send sexually explicit messages and nude photos to other men”... specifically to “much younger men, frequently asking them to meet up.” His Grindr bio said he had a “burning desire” for “a connection with a guy” and liked “down and dirty guy to guy play.”

Sanderson has stridently denied everything, insisting that all of the evidence against him has been faked and threatening those who exposed him. He has nevertheless resigned, claiming he needs to “spend more time with his family.”

#news #Tennessee #LGBT #bathroom bills #Supreme Court #LGBT+ #LGBTQ #LGBTQ+ #Sanderson #Bill Sanderson #hypocrisy #YAFH #Republicans #GOP #Grindr

[how-expensive-is-generic]

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#Cyclosporine #Gengraf #Neoral

[uguardian]

So. Random trivia regarding the current situation in @ask-patient1274 .

Turning a character into a dragon like that wasn’t actually possible before. For most of the Tumblr’s life, I was drawing it using an older version of Flash. Now, Flash does have some features that help you make and work with puppets, but the problem comes in controlling a long, multijointed limb like the dragon’s necks.

The ideal way to handle this is by making the neck itself a “path” or “line segment” rather than a “fill”. You can twist and bend paths like a string or rubber band, so it’s super easy to work with that way. There’s no actual articulation or joint present; the entire object just bends however you want.

The problem, though, is that Flash has a maximum line width of 10px. That’s not only smaller than the character’s eyeball, it’s smaller than their iris.

Since January 2019, I’ve been using Inkscape instead of Flash. And as I become familiar with Inkscape, I can find ways to do things I previously wasn’t able to do. As a key example, Inkscape doesn’t have a limit on how wide your lines can be, allowing me to use the path-as-jointed-neck trick for the first time.

Also, if you couldn’t tell, I’ve basically decided that Inkscape > Flash in most respects these days. If you don’t need animation, tweening, or actionscript, seriously switch over to Inkscape. It’ll be clunky at first, but it’s much easier to use once you get the hang of it and it can do so much more.

#flash #inkscape #ask patient 1274 #behind the scenes #mod post

[humanitymed]

Dear Dr. Katsufrakis and Dr. Chaudhry,

The average score for Step 1 is 35+ points above the passing score. Yes, I’m sure if you made Step 1 pass/fail, the average would drop, but everyone would still have to get a passing score to be a practicing physician. If a passing score is our measure of who is capable of practicing medicine, then why is it necessary for there to be a score at all? The average Step 1 score has been increasing over time, so are you really worried that we won’t be smart enough to be practicing physicians? Seriously? SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY?

Maybe when you were applying to medical school, it was easy to get in as a lazy POS who cared nothing for learning and nothing for patients, but I can assure you that the vast majority of medical students (or at the very least, the ones at my school) genuinely want to be good physicians, and genuinely want to keep their patients safe, and really would rather not accidentally kill someone. 

Except that right now, most of us are glued to Sketchy, Pathoma, FA, and UWorld, recognizing patterns and buzz words instead of learning actually clinical medicine and ignoring the dozens of times our professors say, “this wouldn’t be the answer on the wards” because it IS the answer on Step. We are so OBSESSED with scoring high on your exam that we don’t actually care about whether or not what we’re studying is important for our patients, and you and I both know that most of it is not.

Maybe instead of making us spend literally months to score as high as possible on this exam, you should give us that time to spend on the wards so we ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO TAKE CARE OF PATIENTS.

#medblr #ms1 #ms2 #iknowimjustabitterms2 #usmlestep1