💙Paulkotho stimboard💙
I might make more later!
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(I really hope i did the credits right!)
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hatchetverse but paul accidentally becomes everyone's parental figure. lex & hannah's? sure, they deserve a good parent who'll look out for them. stephanie lauter? yeah, why not, her dad highkey sucks. richie? absolutely, could even make them be biologically related for the lols. he meets peter through ted, they're chill (potential for angst if ted disappears in this iteration of the multiverse). he's the guy alice goes to about all of her stresses and worries- the 'cool uncle'. he meets ruth at the coffee shop where he sees emma before they have a concrete relationship, ruth is very vocal about how she wishes she could have a partner too. he could be even max freaking jagerman's unofficial dad (he does not think max has to fight off "one lousy skele'un" to be worth something). he tries to solve grace chasity's religious guilt with "yeah no sex is normal" and she views him as a source for all advice on the matter after that. paulkins but paul is a tired dad and emma doesn't find out he has like 50 kids until they've been dating a couple months and one of them randomly runs into his house. she introduces him to tim and he just rolls with it. it's another nephew, okay, neat. he's not great with kids but he finds himself with loads of them somehow anyway. then they all face off against sadistic eldritch gods and multiple cults together like a family. what more could you want?
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Paul's life is always either "I'm content and enjoying my lunch break" or "dear god sweet jesus what the fuck is happening the world is ending what the everloving hell" and there's literally no in between
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Reasons why I headcanon that Paul has asthma:
"Oh, Charlotte, you can't smoke in here" THEN GESTURES TO HIMSELF
I have asthma and said so
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Drew this on my little whiteboard during English class
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me when they’re together in every universe ever
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Pokey: This date is boring!
Paul: This isn't a date! I said I was going to the store!
Pokey: Then why did you invite me?
Paul: I didn't, I specifically said "don't come with me." Then you said, "fuck you Paul I'll do whatever I want!
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no bc pokey is absolutely the biggest theatre kid to ever exist. he turned the world into a freaking musical. i wouldn't be surprised if he found paul Very Funny in particular bc how?? could someone??? not like musicals? unprecedented. ridiculous.
i also find it so funny that basically everyone in hatchetfield enjoys musicals (zoey, bill, even max jagerman)– paul is like the one exception. even emma was in a musical when she was younger, but paul? nooo. pokey would've had a blast messing with his mind and making him be in one.
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Only Team Starkid could get us tumblr queers to be incredibly passionate about not one but TWO very heterosexual couples
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