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#pif: (shrug)
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✨thoughts about Nezha and Red Son:✨
I am ALL for the babysitter Nezha hc, but I was thinking about their relationship from a more canon lens
we don't really get any CANON connection between them for basically almost all of the series, except for the end of S4
so why would Red Son go to the Celestial Realm, of all places, and then (specifically) Nezha?
then I remembered that Nezha was there during the fire-sealing ceremony
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PIF and DBK probably respected/appreciated Nezha and Wukong for that (until the whole Wukong and the mountain thing went down), and so Nezha ended up being the one celestial PIF/DBK never talked down on, especially bc he's more an "I'll stay in my lane, you stay in yours" kinda guy
with that, Red Son always associated Nezha as a safe person to go to, even if he had never or rarely met him (plus, they did meet after the S3 special ending- being able to finally meet Nezha for himself probably reinforced the idea for Red Son of Nezha being someone safe to go to)
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this whole analysis is also merely just because i'm cackling at the imagery of PIF cradling toddler Red Son in her arms after DBK was imprisoned and going down a line of Celestials like
"this one?"
"bad."
"this one?"
"also bad!"
(gets to Nezha) "this one gets a pass."
"? okay!"
"this one?"
"BAD"
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itsabouttimex2 · 6 months
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Would this platonic yandere let you leave?
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Explanations below/Click photo for higher res
DBK and PIF simply don’t see any reason to let you leave. If you want something, they can just have a bull mech get it for you. Besides, why would you want to go anywhere? You have your adoring and powerful parents right beside you. There’s no need to leave their side.
Chang’e might seem poorly placed, but she lives on the moon. It’s not that she wants to keep you locked away or isolated, but she genuinely cannot let you go anywhere. Hers is out of necessity, not choice. To be fair, you get to explore the whole moon and can even visit her factories, you aren’t locked in a tiny room or anything.
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Wukong, as long as you have some kind of fighting skill, will let you venture into the city of Megapolis. He’ll fly you there on his cloud and “drop you off” before using the 72 Transformations to follow close behind you, ensuring that no dangers draw near. If you catch him, he’ll very unconvincingly write it off. “Stalking you? Pshaaaw! Naw, what gave you that idea? I just came here to, uh, buy some stuff!”
Macaque will tail you from the shadows. There’s not much to say. He’ll drag you into the darkness with him if he senses any danger, and chuckle when you get angry about being followed. Expect something like: “I’m just looking out for you, kid. You should be grateful, really.”
Huntsman takes pride in his fighting, tracking, and hunting skills, and following after you is just a non-lethal combo of the last two. His ego swells with each step he takes, just out of your sight. And if anyone tries to hurt you… those skills will go back to being lethal very quickly.
Peng will watch you from the skies, keeping a close eye out for you, ensuring that you both keep out of trouble and behave appropriately. If the need arises, they’ll swoop down and interfere. Most likely, it’s to ward away a troublemaker. Though, they’ll be very proud if you defend yourself. Their little nestling, growing up too fast.
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MK wants to go where you go! If it’s somewhere loud and exciting, all the better! Even if you intend to head somewhere less his style, like a library, he’ll still hook his arm around yours and follow you along. (He’ll enjoy that trip a lot more if you read out loud to him.) Don’t think you can just up and ditch him, either. He’ll use his Gold Vision to pinpoint your location immediately, and race off to join up with you again. From there on, he’ll make sure to keep a tight grip on you, ensuring that you won’t get “lost” again.
Azure Lion fancies himself your defender and guardian, and hates the thought of you being unhappy nearly as much as he hates the thought of you getting hurt. He tries to be reasonable and fair with you, which includes letting you leave whatever serves as your shared dwellings. Only when he’s beside you, of course. He trusts himself to strike down any threat to your well-being, and has the power to follow through on that promise.
Ne Zha has lived through many fights and battles, and understands that danger can come from even the most unsuspecting of places. With this in mind, he’ll accompany you to wherever you wish to go, surveying the surrounding area as he walks with you. And he will be bringing his spear. He’d honestly rather not use it, but he’s playing it safe. Woe to any security guard who tries to separate it from him.
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Mei canonically has trackers on all her friends. This is not something she sees as a breach of privacy or overstep of personal boundaries. It’s just something everyone wrote off when they learned about it. So if anyone finds out or you try to tell one of your friends, they’ll probably just shrug it off as “classic Mei” and move on with their day.
Red Son is not a fool, thank you very much! He knows that tailing you everywhere you go will only upset and drive you away (he learned that the hard way), and that he can only tag along so many times before it gets suspicious that he always shows up right when you’re about to do something or go somewhere (learned that the hard way too). So he decides to slap a tracker onto your phone and call it a day, like there’s nothing wrong with that. Since the tracker isn’t discreet at all, you’ll pop it off and throw it away. Expect him to get start getting creative after that. (He just goes to ask Mei for help.)
Syntax is a practical and rational man. He knows that stuffing you away inside will only breed resentment, but that letting you roam freely runs the risk of you escaping from his grasp. Wiring a tracker to the inside of your phone solves both problems. He’ll also hack into the camera so he’ll always be able to see what you’re doing. You’re granted free reign to wander and explore as you please (within the bounds of the city) all while under his careful surveillance.
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Pigsy just wants you to be responsible, really. As the de-facto father figure in your life (in his own eyes), he needs you to be honest and forth-coming with him, please. If you just tell him the specifics of your outings, he won’t argue or complain, and it saves you one hell of a lecture. He might try to warn you away from something or someone he personally thinks of as shady or dubious, and if you don’t listen, he’ll tag along personally. If he’s too busy for that, expect him to send MK with you instead. And MK will spill each and every detail when asked, so you’d best not do anything reckless or dangerous.
Sandy is a kind man, even with obsession plaguing his heart. He wants the best for you, with every fiber of his being. The absolute worst this man would ever do is grind a few sleeping pills into your tea. Genuinely, he would go no further. He wouldn’t dream of disrespecting your personal autonomy. He just asks you very sweetly to let him know what you’ll be doing. If you get tired or upset or hungry, call him! He’ll come pick you up! Stay safe and text him when you get there! He’ll always look out for you. No matter what.
Tang isn’t really the sort to brute force his way through life. He’ll gently nudge and pester you into maybe downloading a location-tracing app, even offering to get it for himself as well. “It’s the only thing that can put my fragile heart as ease”, he’ll tell you, dramatically holding a hand to his hand as he sighs. He’ll wear away at your resolve until you finally buckle and download the damn thing. To be fair to you, he’ll also download it and see if he can’t get a few of the others to do the same. It’ll be less suspicious if he phrased it as “we all do dangerous things very frequently, and should be looking out for each other”.
Yellowtusk is a rational and composed man. If you act maturely and responsibly, he’ll lighten up on certain restrictions he has set in place for you. If you’re headed somewhere new he’ll come with you to make sure you don’t get lost, though. Being rational doesn’t make he doesn’t worry, after all.
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Tang Sanzang despises the idea of restricting your freedoms, and wouldn’t dare disrespect you by saying that you aren’t capable of caring for yourself. He’ll happily see you off for the day, and then take a few minutes to pray for you and your safety. Be wary, though- if you aren’t back by the end of the day, he’ll gather up his fellow pilgrims and set out to find you. Getting away from him is easy enough. Getting away from the demons that loyally follow him, who are happy to drag you right back to his side? There’s just no chance.
Ao Lie probably sits in front of the door and waits for you to get back haphazardly packs you a bag of supplies to take with you, even if you’ll only be going to a nearby merchant’s store. He’ll be sure to tell you that “It’s only a days worth, you know! So be sure to come back soon, please!” He, much like the monk who rides on his back, genuinely trusts and respects you. He isn’t going to follow you from afar, or browbeat you into bringing him along. He’ll just wait. And wait. And he’ll keep waiting until night falls, at which point he’ll inform Tang Sanzang that he’s going out to look for you, to make sure that you’ll be okay. Once again, all the pilgrims will come to look for you, realizing that he’s actually pretty worried.
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quitealotofsodapop · 3 months
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Pfft I can just imagine Wukong and the groups' faces during this exchange like... form the groups perspective DBK saw this random pregnant person and tried to attack them, MK probably screaming "Monkey King!!" in worry when he sees the fist almost hitting his new friend/idol who he had jsut met and knows is in no condition to dodge the hit, the Bull King freezing right before hitting the person who's hood probably blew back from the sheer g force of the attack that was stopped revealing that yes, it was the Monkey King. And then DBK asks if he is with child.
Then there's this whole back forth like
DBK: ARE YOU WITH CHILD!?
Wukong, sweating: What!? No... no I'm just... letting myself go?
MK: He is totally pregnant! Like... mega pregnant! That's why he chose me as a successor! Because he can't risk fighting in his condition!
Wukong: Kid... shut up!
But by then, everyone knows what's up and there's no use trying to hide Wukong's condition
referencing this alternate way DBK finds out about the Slow boiled egg.
DBK feels a frying pan tossed at his head at the speed of a cannonball. Turns and sees a pig demon on the ground, furiously yelling up at him.
Pigsy: "HEY! You leave that bystander alone! It's bad enough you and your family nearly killed my son!" DBK: "Son?? Wait... the pig [Zhu Bajie]???" MK, starry-eyed: "Son!?" Pigsy: "YEAH! The one kid powerful enough to beat your bull ass to kingdom come! We came into this fight thinking your wife killed him by tossing him into the lava around Flower Fruit Mountain!" DBK, concerned: "Wife!?" PIF, shrugs: "All fair in love and war my dear. Plus with your younger brother's strength, I knew he'd survive." DBK: *disappointed brow-raise* PIF, guiltly: "And I may have forgotten how... non-fireproof mortal children are after raising our son for so long." Wukong: "We all make mistakes." Red Son, beaten silly by Mei: "Noodle boy's father is a pig?"
I just realised that the Bull family probably were a little freaked out to see what appeared to be a redsign of Wukong's pilgrim squad barrelling at them in a noodle van. XD
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starsfic · 9 months
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Prompt: Macaque figures out he’s bi in the modern times like that one prompt of Monkey King figuring out he’s aro
"Who is that?"
Macaque sighed, pushing Long Xiaojiao's face back. Ever since they had teamed up to beat up Peng, she seemed to decide he was her favorite monkey. ("With a very narrow margin," she said with a thin smile. "You and Wukong still have things on my shit list.")
That was a picture on his screen, one of an old memory. Macaque was dressed in a fancy jade green hanfu while the woman next to him wore a dazzling purple suit. Despite how the colors clashed, both were grinning. "You're nosy."
"And curious." Xiaojiao peered over his shoulder. "Is that Wukong?"
"Haha, no." This had been over twenty years ago. Back when he still fully hated Wukong's guts. "This is Jade Faced Princess, DBK's former fiancee."
"Wait, DBK had someone before PIF?"
"Almost all demon royals do, kid." Macaque shrugged. "We knew each other from the brotherhood. Jade needed a husband for some legal thing and I needed an alibi, so when we ended up hooking up, we decided to get married." The break up had thankfully been without drama. The divorce had been peaceful and Jade had even given him lump sum alimony that had been enough to get the theater here in the city off the ground.
Xiaojiao raised a brow. "I thought you only liked guys." Macaque shrugged. To be fair, if you only knew his closest relationships, you would draw the same conclusions. "You're bi? Or pan or whatever you want to label it?"
Huh? Macaque turned his head to raise a brow. "What's that?"
Xiaojiao's eyes went wide. "Oh, it means you don't really care about gender when you're dating someone," she said. "It's pretty barebones definition, but..." She pulled out her phone and pulled up an image. A blue, pink, and purple flag waved next to a yellow, pink, and blue flag. "Here's the flags."
Words were connecting in his brain.
"THERE'S A WORD FOR IT?!"
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time-bone-swap-au · 1 year
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Season 1-2 changes:
Season 1:
Bad Weather
The scene where DBK finds LBD’s crypt is replaced with an Oracle Bone Script landing on his head and him having to read it, understanding what it meant. Then he hears MK whisper in his mind about a power source that can strengthen his mind.
The Great Wall Race
Red Son doesn’t compete, cause he doesn’t find the poster, DBK and PIF go to a shrine built for MK as at some point of time his legend was altered so differently from LBD, they find after the episode, they find a similar version of the crypt, and MK turned himself into bones and they begin to grab the power source and return it.
The Skeleton Key
Mayor gives LBD the key upon MK’s instructions and Bai He feels and off vision from it, they find a cave and open the door, after that get attacked by Yin and Jin’s shenanigans. After that, they discover that the cave was holding an ancient relic, one telling how to defeat MK, unfortunately Mei and Bai He can’t read it so they left the cave, unknowingly releasing a demon that was sealed there long ago
Macaque
The Demon inside the cave was Macaque, MK had trapped him in a cave after he had betrayed him (Since I believe in the theory that Wukong never killed him, I decided that he was killed by a random demon, MK never alters this memory because he was unaware of Macaque’s backstory.) Macaque goes to meet Bai He (since Macaque wasn’t erased from history) who Bai He admits is her favorite over Wukong. Macaque has ulterior motives for getting Bai He’s powers after betraying her. It’s still because he wants to fight SWK but Macaque is fearful of MK. After the episode and getting heavily injured, Macaque gets captured and MK uses him utilizes him as a future host for after DBK
The End is here!
Everything in this episode stays the same, except Bai He is seen as LBD and DBK is slightly possessed. In the end though the whole cutscene that I showed via screenshot redraw with Macaque and MK and MK uses his body to ‘return his destiny to him’ the screen flashes to a shadow of MK possessing Macaque and Mayor insanely watching as he does.
Season 2:
Revenge of the Spider Queen
Instead of Bai He, it’s Macaque and he gives Spider Queen the Bone Vial.
The scene where Sun Wukong is caught off guard by LBD is replaced with witty banter as MK perfectly re-enacts Macaque’s personality, this is one of the time Macaque breaks out of the dreamscape and is in complete horror at how perfectly MK re-enacts him.
MK shows up with ‘Macaque’ and sees Demon Bull King, DBK remarks on his betrayal, as ‘Macaque’ just shrugs and says that he’s just working with the winning side and suggests that Bai He be placed alongside his mentor.
The part where Wukong says ‘You should’ve stayed buried’ is changed as Wukong remarks how disappointed he is in Macaque, he understands that he is angry at Wukong, but he didn’t have to go and involve DBK, much less capture him and use him for battery ‘Macaque’ only responds with Wukong using dirty tricks and people just to get his way and how he even got his ‘brothers’ captured just for the sake of protecting his Master. Wukong attacks out of anger but MK removes the glamour on Macaque and he sees the light blue marks and the scar tainting Macaque. Wukong looks back to hear that Macaque was actually revived and takes it upon himself to consult an old friend.
After the whole episode MK hides the Trigram Furnace for further use and returns to the Spider Queen as Macaque, using the shadows to speak instead of his physical form giving her an Oracle Bone Scripture (Translated) that could help her achieve victory, before disappearing again for the whole season.
Sleep Bug
The plot still remains the same, however they’re doing this in guidance of the Mayor. Syntax arrives with a different blueprint and a blueprint that Mayor needs to fulfill MK’s destiny and Bai He is more smarter giving Syntax a hard time before summoning the guardians.
Dumpling Destruction
Most of Season 2 is just the same just without MK, since he won’t engage so much with the Spider Gang. So Dumpling Destruction just happens without the trigram furnace and the LBD mech blueprints, Spider Gang just instructs Huntsman to find another artifact that isn’t the demon revealing mirror
In the start of the episode however, Wukong actually is fine in the Celestial Realm, he just went there to find Nezha, as he seems to know PIF and Red Son more than him. But when they said he wasn’t available he turned to find Guanyin, the start where Sun Wukong threatens a god is changed to him gleefully greeting Guanyin.
Minor Scale
Bai He actually just gets a note from Wukong on how to shrink, she then discovers Spider Queen’s plan and escapes to tell Pigsy and Tang.
Instead of showing Wukong in the start, the episode shows him in the end. Where he is seen having tea with none other than MK, who has briefly released Macaque but with a seal that he can’t inform anyone about his situation. Wukong is seen asking MK for advice about Macaque, it just cuts with MK saying ‘Let me see what I can do’
Shadow Play
This is during the time Macaque was briefly released, Macaque finds the shadow lantern and uses it for his plays, however he sees Bai He, and out of fear of MK uses this opportunity to build her strength even further, the episode plays normally but afterwards the Mayor comes and sees his causing trouble again, the Mayor and Macaque have a small conversation (While Macaque is being choked) and Mayor brings Macaque back to MK since he’s already done consulting Wukong.
72 Transformations
Bai He finally learns how to shapeshift and discovers that Spider Queen has completed her Mega Spider Mech (Ain’t no way in hell am I drawing that so you’re all going to have to imagine the mech) in the end Spider Queen’s Spider Mech bursts out of the ground and begins conquering the city.
The is the End!
Spider Queen tried to conquer the city by infecting the city with a more powerful venom instantly turning the people into spider goons, since they don’t have the Trigram Furnace, the gang has to think of another way to cure the city.
(Not sure what happens in-between this is a work in progress)
The ending shows Spider Queen doing community service and redeeming herself, and MK looking over the scene, proud at the sudden shift of the timeline.
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Whumptober 2022 day 30
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This is the writing mood lads, but we’re nearly there...
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Manhandled | Hair Grabbing | “Please don’t touch me.”
Another stellar shout from @stripedroseandsketchpads ​ Mmmmaybe the thing in PiF where Lymond is caught/being held back and GRM tries to literally force him to take drugs etc? Iirc there was also face grabbing involved…
Took me a while to find the in on this, and please don’t question surrounding details - PiF timelines and events diverge a bit from canon. A card game isn’t equivalent to five-aside opium-fuelled murder chess, it’s just one element of things. Francis has been playing at other tables too - though you might be suspicious as to whether he really has been trying to cheat the house.
CW: kidnapping (well...implied gambling for custody over people), prescription drug misuse and addiction, manhandling and signs of a beating (blood). Casino setting. GRM being there, being a creep, trying to force drugs on our dear hero. Also cw 1980s fashions. And a toddler gets dropped, but that’s how it goes in canon, too.
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"You can't just keep me here!" Philippa injected all of her strident Somerville common-sense into the words.
She supposed Kate had been right about another thing - a shower and a change of clothes could do wonders for your confidence. She'd probably have been unstoppable if she'd been allowed to choose the outfit herself. Instead she had to make do with Kiaya Çalışkan's idea of suitable attire for a business meeting in a casino: a clingy mint green dress cut straight across the top so that her shoulders and collarbones were bare, cinched in at the middle by a wide gold belt that felt almost like a corset. In the air-conditioned room, Philippa's neck and shoulders might have felt exposed if not for her hair, which fell long over her clavicles, and for the child, Hamal's warm weight in her arms.
She stood at the table where the final game of the night had been played and stared down the array of disinterest and disdain that greeted her.
The owner of the casino, Roxelana, gazed impassively at Philippa. "Sweetheart, he lost," she said, raising one empty palm and shrugging.
Kiaya Çalışkan's arms were folded - an unusual indicator of her annoyance - but she said nothing to support Philippa. She looked at Roxelana and Philippa thought she saw something pass between them, these two otherworldly women. They towered on their huge heels like tall, elegant birds, Kiaya's gracefully curved nose raised in the air, Roxelana's long, narrow eyes quick to observe from beneath her heavily made-up lids.
Roxelana's thin lips softened at the corners into a hostess' smile and she turned back to Philippa. "You'll be quite comfortable here, our rooms are luxurious. It's only until Mr Crawford and Mr Reid Malett can reach a more...binding agreement."
"It's still kidnapping," Philippa said baldly.
Roxelana chuckled mirthlessly, her mouth remaining closed as she did. She met Kiaya's eyes and Kiaya smiled back obligingly.
Philippa wondered what sort of life these women led, where a teenager complaining of kidnapping and abduction could just be treated as a source of amusement, or something endearingly naïve to be patronised.
The third person on the other side of the table had been staring at her with an expression of boredom and disgust. Graham Reid Malett's lip curled even as he ran his icy blue eyes up and down her body. His hands were in the pockets of his pink satin suit trousers and he stood in an aspect of readied relaxation that belied the damage Philippa knew had been done to one of his legs.
Philippa clutched Hamal tightly and pretended she couldn't feel Reid Malett assessing every swell and curve of her seventeen years through the form-fitting fabric of her dress. She tossed her hair back and raised her chin assertively. "Mr Crawford won't stand for this. I know he has a plan. He'll never consent to leaving Ms O'Dwyer and their son behind with a man like him," she deliberately ignored Reid Malett and addressed Roxelana, the lady in charge.
Another woman, who remained sitting down next to her, gazed up with her own look of wry amusement, though it was nearly buried beneath exhaustion. Oonagh O'Dwyer appeared every inch the supermodel again after Kiaya's work - an ivory-coloured satin bodice enfolded her body, as straight-edged and unyielding as she was, and an artfully pressed pair of matching trousers seemed to engulf her long, skinny legs. She held a toddler on her lap as well, a sullen and restless boy with blond curls and a long, angry mouth. She didn't contradict Philippa - but Philippa gathered that she had little hope of any help from Francis now.
"He ought to have played better then, oughtn't he?" Reid Malett sneered.
"Yes, well - " Philippa drew an indignant breath, but didn't get the chance to offer up an excuse for Mr Crawford. At that moment the door to the private room opened and the man himself was launched back through it, followed by two black-suited security guards.
Francis tumbled to his knees on the thick, patterned carpet and wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. Philippa saw it come away with blood on it and she detected Oonagh's soft murmur - some Irish curse, no doubt.
Reid Malett perked up at his appearance, swaying to face the man who was now being forcibly restrained by the guards. His hands still in his pockets, he nodded his head at Roxelana's chief of security, who had been standing in the shadows by the wall, observing all with silent professionalism.
"Well, Dragut. Looks like your boys have discovered some...irregularities already."
The Turkish guard did not move or unfold his arms. His moustache twitched a little, like he wanted dearly to say something to Reid Malett, but instead he asked his men what the situation was.
One tossed a leather satchel on the table and pointed a finger at it. "He's been pocketing his winnings. Tried to leave without paying off his credit."
"A serious accusation," Reid Malett looked at Roxelana and stepped forwards, reaching for the bag. "May I?"
Dragut watched him closely but did not object. Roxelana frowned, folded her arms and nodded.
Philippa was staring at Francis, who laughed ruefully and shook his head. There was blood welling from his split lip and dripping on the front of his white shirt. His arms were held unnecessarily tightly behind his back by the two guards. He glanced up finally and met her eyes. "Hullo. Fancy meeting you here," he gasped, his attempt at a reassuring smile somewhat undercut by the blood on his teeth.
Hamal saw it too and whimpered unhappily. He wrapped his small fists in Philippa's hair and nuzzled her chin.
Reid Malett was removing things from the satchel. What interested him most seemed to be a little orange pill bottle, which he shook experimentally and held up to the light above the playing table. "Oh, Francis, my dove. What on earth is this?" he cooed.
Philippa went to take another step closer to see what it was, but felt a cool grip on her arm.
Oonagh looked up at her with steady, serious green eyes. "Mo chailín cróga. Don't."
She hesitated. She just wanted to ask the guards to loosen their grip a bit, to check Reid Malett hadn't somehow planted the evidence he seemed so unsurprised to find. But Oonagh's expression was the expression of a woman who knew all too well what was at stake and what the people in the room were capable of. She squeezed Philippa's arm until the girl sighed and agreed to hang back.
In Oonagh's arms, Cai watched Swami Geetesh with a rapt expression. "Sweeties!" he yelled, and pointed a chubby finger at the bottle in Reid Malett's hand.
Most of the people in the room where staring at the child and the pill bottle - only Philippa and Oonagh saw Francis turn glacial white at the boy's demand.
Reid Malett smiled perfunctorily at Cai. "Not sweeties, no. The sign of a dreadful addiction, in fact. When did you grow so desperate that you had to self-medicate, Francis?" he stepped towards him until he was standing right in front of the kneeling Mr Crawford, and he shook the bottle of pills again, holding it down by his crotch, which he held jutted towards Francis' face.
Francis swallowed and a tremor went through his body. The guards responded as though it had been an escape attempt and wrenched his arms back further.
Graham Reid Malett stared at him, open-eyed, open-lipped, an expression of thirsty fascination on his features. "It's been a while since you've had any, hm?"
He flicked the cap off with his thumb and wafted the bottle below Francis' downturned face. It probably didn't smell of much at all, but the proximity of it made Francis snap his head up and wriggle against his restraints.
"You must be feeling dreadful," Reid Malett mused. He turned to Roxelana and Kiaya, but he did not move away from Mr Crawford. "It must have impaired his judgement during the game. It would be remiss of me to accept a result like that - won on an advantage, against a man who is already lost to his basest instincts."
"Indeed?" Kiaya's brows raised. "What do you propose?"
Reid Malett barked a laugh. "Well first, he needs to be in his right state of mind." He raised the bottle and studied it again. "They're strong, Francis. How long have you been taking them?" Abruptly, he dropped to a crouch, so that he was at eye level with his plaything. "You must be feeling..." Reid Malett studied his face, then whipped a large hand out to grab Francis and hold him, his thumb on Francis' cheek, his fingers tight on the back of his head. "Simply dreadful. No sleep...cold sweats...anxiety...do you see that it is all hopeless yet, darling?"
Mr Crawford pressed his lips together and Philippa distinctly saw him shudder again.
Reid Malett beamed. "Siezures? Oh dear. Dear, dear, dear. I think the only way you can work with us is if you have a little more, hm? We don't have time to wait out the withdrawal symptoms."
"Hold his head," he stood and ordered the guards.
"Stop!" Philippa yelped. "Why are you listening to him? He's not your boss!"
Oonagh's hand was on her arm again, pinching tight, but Oonagh was also looking at Roxelana and Dragut. Kiaya was looking at Dragut. Dragut was looking at Roxelana.
The lady of the house turned to the table and ran her fingers through the takings that had been discovered in Francis' bag. She hummed to herself and tapped a roll of bills with one manicured nail. "Why did you steal from me, Mr Crawford?" she asked.
Francis, his head forced back and his hair pulled tight by one of the guards, grimaced. "My financial problems are well known."
Roxelana's eyes narrowed. "Indeed, which is why I brought you here to negotiate a residency on stage."
Francis' brows rose and he glanced at Reid Malett, a smile almost reaching his lips. "Yes. It doesn't make much sense, does it?"
"The uncontrolled impulses of a junkie," Graham Reid Malett announced.
Roxelana looked down her long, straight nose at Mr Crawford and at Reid Malett. Then she shrugged and turned away.
"Dragut, I think Mr Crawford will be staying with us as well. Please have someone prepare a room for him."
"No..." Philippa whined, pain seeping into her voice as Oonagh's nails bit into the skin of her bicep.
Mr Crawford didn't have a chance to cast a brave look in her direction. Reid Malett grabbed his jaw between his thumb and fingers and pinched tight enough that Philippa could see the blood rise to his skin even from where she stood.
Reid Malett lifted the bottle of pills towards Mr Crawford's mouth and squeezed as hard as he could against his teeth, trying to force an opening to appear between his lips.
The only thing that Philippa could think of to do was not very fair, really, but then nobody in this room could judge her on it. Nobody except for Hamal himself, whom she murmured an apology to as she let her hold on him fail and watched him drop to the floor.
Hamal shrieked as he fell and shrieked again at the impact. It wasn't very far and the carpet was plush, but the shock of it left him howling.
It was enough of a distraction - in the instant the guards' attention wandered, Francis tore his hair free and threw himself sideways, managing to knock the pill bottle from Reid Malett's hand with his shoulder as he turned.
The contents of the bottle rolled away and found places to nestle in among the thick pile carpet. Francis didn't try to flee, but let the guards grasp him once more and laughed even as the back of Reid Malett's hand landed a blow across his cheek.
Philippa had bent to where Hamal sat screaming, his face red and the tears flowing down his cheeks. She tutted at the carpet burn on his knee and spoke gently but firmly. "Fie, fie, hinny! It’s a soft, expensive rug!"
She glanced up to check on Mr Crawford and saw he was staring at her with horror, Reid Malett's face next to his, also turned towards Philippa. She could almost read the words on his lips as he murmured against Francis' cheek: "Don't worry. I'll see that she pays for it."
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creativebunnysstuff · 11 months
Text
Random scenario:
Monkey King accidentally lost Ember, Lei Lei and Silkie
Ember: Dbk and Pif's daughter
Lei Lei: Nezha (He's more like an older brother figure)
Silkie: Spider Queen (AU, okay)
And Kuno (Mk's clone)
The scenario:
Wukong: (####)! MK HOW THE (####) I'M SUPPOSED TO TELL THEM!?
Mk: Uh....(shrugs "i dunno")
Mk: Maybe they'll understand.. Oh wait they all hate you
Wukong: They hate me that much, but they'll hate me even more, Mk
Mk: I don't think we have a choice..
Wukong: So what? You want me to call them up and be like: "hey guys.."
*in the group call*
Wukong: So Kuno came by, took the girls and teleported off to the WHO (####) KNOWS WHERE AND NO WAY OF EITHER GETTING THEM BACK. OKAY?! Okay, good talk, bye...
Wukong: Oh, that actually work better than i thought
*CRASH*
Nezha: MONKEY KING!!
All: MONKEY KING!
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kai-keda · 2 years
Note
Wait, how did everyone react when they found out that the Spicynoodles twins aged differently. We know how Xiaotian and Red felt, but what about everyone else?
That’s an excellent question that I’m surprised I never thought about before.
Monkey King was the first to pick up on the abnormality and then proceeded to freak out and assume it was some demon curse instead of just a natural thing in Xiaobo’s genes. Which is a theory not helped by the fact that Peter doesn’t seem to have this “affliction.” MK got caught up in Wukong’s theatrics but Red Son would shut it down hard every time it was brought up.
Pigsy’s another person who got caught up in Wukong’s theory. He would end up doing whatever he was told by the Monkey King in order to help his grandson out, including almost going on long journeys with him. MK and Tang stop him before he could run off and had to be the ones to calm him down.
Speaking of Tang, he would inwardly be freaking out and when no one else was around he would end up like that one clip from Always Sunny in Philadelphia. The one where the guy has this massive conspiracy theory board with all the red thread’s connecting everything. Eventually he would come to the right conclusion, though. That it’s just how demon, human and half-demon biology works.
Mei is a bit of a wildcard so it’s harder to pin down what her reaction would be. On the outside she would just shrug and accept it for what it is. Xiaobo’s maturing slower than Peter. That’s fine. Means more time to play with a cute toddler. Though she would have her own fair share of anxieties about it. She worries about if Xiaobo will ever make friends outside of the family MK built up, if Peter will always be there to support him, if MK can handle having a child stay at those early stages for so long and how long she can keep up with his never ending energy.
But she never lets those worries show. She just keeps a close eye on him.
DBK would be more concerned about Peter than anything since him and PIF were expecting Xiaobo’s rate of maturity for them both. He would gladly take MK’s surprise about Xiaobo as permission to babysit for long periods of time. Which basically means all but kidnapping him under the insistence that MK’s clearly tired of having a little toddler and DBK has ALL of the experience for this exact situation so obviously he should get to keep Xiaobo himself.
That never goes over well with Red and MK.
Especially since Red Son feels embarrassed every time he has to remind his father that he knows what he’s doing as well and can absolutely handle this.
Princess Iron Fan tries so hard to keep a cool air about her but it slips every time she visits and sees how much bigger Peter’s gotten. She’s not the biggest fan of his quick growth and, similar to Wukong, initially thinks there’s some curse placed on him. MK and Mei end up being the ones to relax her fears on that front.
Sandy is the most relaxed and accepting about it. He was certainly surprised when he took notice of it, but he figured MK and Red Son could handle it. They’re not his kids after all and if they seem to be okay with it and working it out, then there’s no reason for Sandy to be upset about it. He’ll just be there for whatever MK and the boys might need from him.
Overall, Xiaobo maturing much slower than a typical human would have surprised the Monkie Kid crew enough on its own but pairing it with Peter maturing exactly how a human would sent some of them into a panic. Meanwhile DBK and PIF are concerned about Peter more than anything but Red Son assures them it’ll be perfectly fine - especially since he uses the opportunity to feed into their ego and express how having them there to help is exactly why it’ll be fine.
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acewithapaintbrush · 3 years
Text
How I imagine PIFs first visit to Pigsys Noodles (concerning my headcanon that she fell in love with his noodles during the episode Sweet N' Sour)
*PIF kicks the door in*
PIF: Pig Man! It is I, Princess Iron Fan and I demand one of your bowls of noodles. Be quick about it and I might even pay!
*storms past a flabbergasted MK, throws a couple out of their booth because it is obviously the best in the house and takes a seat*
MK: What the-
Pigsy: Oi, Princess of Whatever, I already got one freeloader, you pay or you get nothing.
*Tang slurps his noodles, nodding*
PIF: How dare you, I am no freeloader. Very well, get me those noodles and you will get your payment
MK: Pigsy are you sure-
*Pigsy already slamming the bowl down on the counter*
Pigsy: A customer is a customer and a paying customer is even better. Get going Kid.
MK: Okay I guess..
PIF: Move it Noodle boy. My dear husband and I have a date to take over the city in an hour.
MK: *shrugs* Alrighty
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skellebonez · 3 years
Note
I AM SORRY FOR THIS SKELLE BUT I MUST: 5 (kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here),6 (let's make a deal, shall we?) and 41 (can you teach me how to do that) with the demon bull fam and mk with a little hint of 64 (I may have eaten seven of them already). NOW GO HAM MY DUDE
Oh I had way too much fun with this one. I took S2E4 (spoilers mentioned for that!) and some tweets made by one of the show producers on the same day as fuel for a very silly idea I had. I don't write what can be considered "Crack treated seriously" (or at least semi-seriously, this is not a 100% serious fic) often but when I do I go hard. This is more focused on MK and others than SpicyNoodles so it's a bit more gen fic than a full on ship fic as well.
Kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here/Let's make a deal, shall we?/Can you teach me how to do that?/I may have eaten seven of them already.
"Red..." MK started off slowly, watching as his boyfriend's face flushed and twisted in embarrassment. "Can you tell me why your mother showed up at my apartment and used her wind vortex thing to teleport us here without an explanation? And then left us in your..." He looked around, noting that aside from the excessively large throne and two smaller thrones beside it this room looked like a... "Living room? On a couch?"
"I can-" Red Son started, raising a hand before pausing a frowning deeply. "Actually, no, I can't explain. This is just weird, even by my parent's standards. I have no idea what is going on, but since you're still here..." He shrugged with a hopeful smile, shaky through the uncertainty. "Maybe it's not bad? I mean, if Mother was truly upset or wanted to do something bad surely she would have not left us to our own devices. Maybe she’s... uh... happy I finally have a boyfriend?”
At the pointed raise of an eyebrow from MK that hopeful smile faltered a bit. Happy Red Son had a boyfriend for the first time in a couple centuries? Under different circumstances he wouldn't doubt that! Happy when that boyfriend was MK?
Oh he did doubt that.
He knew that they shouldn't have been sneaking around the way they had been. It had made sense at first, two people on opposite sides of a feud lasting centuries who discovered they actually enjoyed spending time together more than fighting each other. One who decided he very much would rather not follow through with any kind of domination and see his family hurt, who realized "actually my sworn nemesis isn't so bad", and another who decided "my life is already weird enough, why not give this befriending my enemy thing a shot".
And then one thing lead to another and before they knew it their secret friend meet up became a secret boyfriend meet up. They'd managed to keep everything under wraps for a while (except from Mei because, well... she was his best friend! He couldn't not tell someone and she would have found out fast if he wasn't obvious, and she had quickly become a mutual source of support for both of them), though MK knew Pigsy and the others knew something was up. They didn't question him, though, aside from the occasional good natured jab. "Wow MK, you seem happy today. Got any plans?" and that sort of thing. They seemed to trust him to make his own decisions, as long as he was happy and healthy and eventually told them. (Sun Wukong, however, may have caught in a little when he jokingly asked if MK had gotten a boyfriend and MK had choked on his drink. He never brought it up specifically after that but he was smart. Too smart.)
Red Son, on the other hand, was fantastic at keeping secrets when he tried. Or MK thought he was... the last few months gave no indication that either of his parents had discovered their little sneaky rendezvous. Then Princess Iron Fan broke into his apartment and, well, here they are. Clearly something had gone wrong somewhere along the line.
Before MK could follow through with any questions of whether or not there could be a fate worse than instant death that involved lulling him into a false sense of security, the two men froze at the sound of quickly approaching voices.
“Could this not have been done another way, my dear?”
“Kidnapping them was the only way I was going to get them here, you know that. Noodle Boy is not that gullible, contrary to what we first believed.”
Ah... shit... Red Son’s parents.
Mk quickly ran through all the possessions he had in his apartment and wondered if he had time to text Mei or Pigsy the world’s fastest will and testament and if that would be legally binding. He just hoped he had something for Pigsy to handle the Phantom Orderer they'd had for the last year.
They always ordered on the app and prepaid and managed to leave him a sizeable tip in his tuk-tuk after he dropped off the food at whatever random location they indicated.
"Good," PIF's voice rang clear, far faster than he could even attempt to pull out his phone, and MK turned to see that she was casually lounging on the shoulder of the Demon Bull King. She jumped down, her wind lightening her fall so much so that she barely made a sound when her feet touched ground. "You've made yourself comfortable."
MK couldn't bring himself to move, as much as he very dearly wanted to run away as quickly as possible. Yes, he was The Monkie Kid and had progressed far enough that he could probably escape without much problem. Yes, he and DBK had had an understanding after the White Bone Spirit and Lunar New Year Festival (though he still didn't know if PIF ever found out about that one). Yes, Princess Iron Fan had shown little interest in him before and had even worked beside him with no complaints (she didn't even care enough to attack during the Food Wars thing!). But that was all before she apparently found out he was dating her son behind her back while they were technically still enemies.
He was glad at that moment that she had grabbed them before they went to get lunch... his stomach was doing back flips that would make a gymnast jealous.
"Uh, yes Miss-Mrs-Muh-M- Princess Iron... Fan?" MK couldn't help but stutter awkwardly, holding onto the hem of his jacket and worrying it as he tried to keep his composure. He looked beside him, watching as Red sat straighter and kept an even expression on his face that he couldn't quite place. His hair seemed to spark softly.
Though she raised a brow at this, PIF didn't comment on that at all. Instead she made her way to the other couch across from them as opposed to what was clearly supposed to be her throne, leaning forward right her elbows on her knees and her fingers laced together in front of her. DBK stopped behind her, seemingly content to stay standing.
"Noodle Boy... you prefer to go by MK, is that correct?" She started, and he nodded slowly in confused response. "Hmn... so. You've been dating my son for quite some time. Many months... no, a bit over a year if I am not mistaken in how long his behavior has changed." 'Oh shit' went MK's brain. "You must be quite serious, if you're willing to go through so much just to see each other. Late night meetings. Secret hideaways. Sneaking onto Flower Fruit Mountain, even." 'Oh SHIT' it repeated in horror. "That's quite the dedication to show toward anyone... I hate to admit it, but I am quite impressed." 'OH SH-wait what?'
"Bw-huh?" Was what MK managed out, half a sound that was almost a word and half a squeak of confusion.
"The fact I myself remained oblivious until only a few weeks ago is quite something. Let's make a deal, shall we?" She continued, sitting back straight and looking like the proud Princess she was and not like a woman sitting on a couch that looked comically small in front of her enormous husband. "You and Red Son no longer have to hide your relationship from us and in exchange..." she paused, as if relishing the building tension between herself and the couple before her. "You will come over at least once a week so we can get to actually know you properly."
MK froze. Red Son froze even more.
Then his entire head lit ablaze as he jumped up and gestured at his mother with a gaping mouth. "Th-that's it!? I-I was... I was RIGHT!?"
PIF barely reacted to this, merely lounging sideways as she put her elbow on the arm of the couch and rested her cheek on her hand.
"Whatever you were right about, I suppose you were. But yes," she shrugged, honestly looking... kinda happy? "Has this been about a year ago I perhaps would not have understood what you saw in Nood-MK. But I can see how happy you have been lately, and there's something about him that is like... what did you say he was like, darling?" She turned to DBK, who shrugged himself with an unreadable expression.
"A ball of sunshine given human form."
... that was not what MK ever expected to hear from the Demon Bull King's mouth...
"Yes, that's it," she nodded as if this was completely normal and ignored how Red Son flopped back down onto the couch and stared at the ceiling. "I'd hate to admit it, but you've grown on us through out sparse interactions. Somehow. And we have been eagerly waiting for the day we could finally welcome someone into our son's life. So what do you say? Do we have a deal?"
She seemed... serious. MK may not know her that well, but it was clear to anyone when she wasn't being so.
"Uh... o-ok? Sure?" MK said softly, nodding in amazement as DBK and PIF actually smiled at this.
This was the strangest day of his life, beating our every single demon fight and even the day he got the Monkey King's staff. But he'd take this strangeness over the alternative 500 times over.
"Excellent," DBK nodded himself, there was a lot of that about. "That seems to have worked out n-"
Everyone paused at a loud grumble echoed the room, all turning to Red Son as he flared up in embarrassment this time.
"Don't look at me like that, we were supposed to eat half an hour ago and I am starving," Red Son grumbled as he sat up, not looking anyone in the eye. "I don't suppose we could. Eat now? Please?"
Despite the situation, MK couldn't help but smile at his pouting.
"I could bring us some food from Pigsy's?" MK offered in an attempt to contribute. Something. "I mean, I know Red likes it and you kinda seemed to like it the one time you tried it and... uh... yeah."
"Actually... I may have eaten seven of them already..." PIF admitted, looking away in embarrassment. "l've tried not to give into the temptation, but your father's noodles from the Food Wars were so... I just can't resist ordering some secretly after 5 or so weeks!"
"So you're the phantom orderer!" MK gasped out in shock, but after a moment he frowned and rubbed the back of his head. He had a bit of an idea. "Well... I could... make some for us instead?" He ammended his offered softly. "I may not make it exactly like Pigsy does, but I can get pretty close as long as you have the ingredients! And you wouldn't have to worry about me going there and coming back! We can eat like. Immediately!"
"I think that sounds acceptable," PIF said with a nod as she stood, but MK could see a bit of excitement sparkling in her usually cold eyes. "Come, Red Son. I need to discuss some upgrades the Bull Clones have been asking for with you. Your father can assist him in the kitchen until we are done."
Red looked over at MK and only stood to follow his mother once he nodded, giving his father a pointed look before exited the room. MK, in the meantime, looking up at DBK with a gulp and followed him as he lead the way toward their kitchen.
It was... well, bigger than he was used to. But pretty normal, regal size and decor aside. And it seemed, once he was given the nod of ok from his host (and wasn't that a bizarre thing, DBK and PIF being his hosts on a home visit to his boyfriend's parents... he was going to need to get used to that) he checked the fridge and counters and found he had just about everything he needed to make what he had in mind.
"Can you teach me how to do that?" DBK asked after a moment, startling MK into nearly dropping the sauce he needed for the broth. "Not the recipe itself, just..." He gestured to the counter. "Red Son has a bit of a proclivity toward cooking and he's been trying to get me involved, but we've never cooked anything like. That."
His words were awkward and stilted, but MK could tell he was trying. The same way he could tell PIF wasn't kidding with her offer. They just seemed to... want to get to know him as a potential... son-in-law... huh.
"Sure, but you're gonna want to shrink down a bit for this."
Lunch turned out amazing and, while awkward (much like most of the day)... it was nice not to have to hide their dating for once. And Red actually seemed pretty happy! Though he learned quickly that the Monkey King was still a bit of an (understandably) sore subject that was best avoided. For now.
Maybe not forever though.
(When PIF very not subtly dropped him and Red Son both off inside Pigsy's Noodles after their lunch, the only response he got was a "oh, so they finally found out huh? Looks like things went well" from Pigsy and Tang. Maybe he wasn't as sneaky as he thought he was...)
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purble-turble · 3 years
Note
After reading that stuff about King Red and a love potioned MK, now I'm imagining the use of the love potion in the Prince Red au. Probably a scheme by Iron Fan or DBK but since MK is already in love with Red, it doesn't actually work. But he decides to pretend it does and he and Red get a kick out of making his parents uncomfortable until Mei busts in with an "antidote".
This is so silly and adorable I absolutely love it!! In order for this set up to to work though, two things have to happen.. I think PIF and DBK need to have some semblance of an idea towards Red’s feelings for MK. They wouldn’t know the depths of his love for him or anything, maybe they just caught him staring at one point and assumed he had formed a crush.. at the very start of all this, Iron Fan did bring MK to him because she thought he would be her son’s type, after all, so it’s already established that they might want to pair them up in order to get MK out of the way.
The second thing is that MK has to be aware that he was slipped a love potion. I also really really love the idea that he already does love Red so it just has no effect! So for this to work, maybe it’s the same as before where a demon is tasked with slipping the love potion, calibrated specifically for MK to fall in love with Prince Red, to MK secretly in his food or something. So this demon working for DBK and PIF infiltrates the noodle shop and slips a little vial of the potion into MK’s food while he’s distracted.. maybe Mei notices someone tampering with his lunch from across the shop but is just barely too late to stop MK from taking a bite. She does tackle the demon tho, causing their disguise to drop, and Mei demands to know what they just slipped MK. The demon just looks over at MK who is kind of fluttering about, worrying that he’s been poisoned and looking up where to find like medical grade charcoal or something to swallow, and the demon appears confused. They ask MK if he feels any different and after taking a moment to consider, MK says no he feels exactly the same as before. This is extremely peculiar, the demon says, because that was supposed to be a love potion and if it were working correctly he should be overwhelmed by his passion and running to find the arms of his love right now.
MK just shrugs like I dunno what to tell ya bud, and seems pretty nonplussed about the whole thing now that he knows he’s not dying. Mei interrogates further and the demon reveals that it was DBK who put him up to this; he wanted the Monkie Kid to fall in love with his son, Prince Red, so that he would no longer be a threat. Mei asks if Red himself had anything to do with this plan.. the demon doesn’t know, Red wasn’t there when they got their orders, but PIF did seem to imply that Red would be pleased with the outcome... so maybe??? Mei in particular is a little concerned with that answer. This could be early on where she’s only just becoming friends with Red, so she knows he doesn’t seem like the type to want to force MK to love him, but he’s still a demon AND DBK’s son, so she wants to make sure. So they come up with a plan to check.. MK is pretty sure Red had nothing to do with it, but he goes along because it’s gonna be hilarious to mess with DBK and PIF the way they’re planning to.
Meanwhile, Prince Red is summoned to the underground lair in the city and his parents are just bursting to tell him the good news: they’ve send one of their demon servants to slip a potion to the Monkie Kid that will get them out of their hair for good. Red starts internally panicking as he starts mentally going through all of the different poison antidotes he has ready made back in his palace’s well-stocked apothecary, but his panic turns to shock when suddenly MK himself comes busting into the room and dramatically falls into Red’s arms. Then he kisses Red and the panic is back- he pulls away from MK and looks over at his parents about to make all kinds of excuses, but he sees they actually look rather pleased. Iron Fan says she saw the way Red would look at the boy when he thought his parents weren’t looking, so they took steps to make sure they could be together.. Red is generously provided a husband and they get to rule the city unopposed by the meddlesome Monkie Kid. Win-win.
Obviously Red is not excited about this. There’s a lot he wants to say, but he doesn’t want his parents to know that they were right, he DOES want to marry MK but not like THIS. He wants it to be MK’s choice, not because he’s been tricked.. in fact it makes him absolutely sick that MK is giving him all this affection because of the influence of some magic potion. So he just freezes up, not wanting to touch MK in any encouraging way but also not wanting to push him away and risk upsetting his parents. Luckily MK notices his hesitation (and probably his horrified expression) and just whispers a quiet “hey” to get his attention then gives him a knowing wink to let him know it’s ok this is all a ruse. This makes Red feel a lot better but doesn’t stop him from turning into a flustered mess when MK starts really over-acting how much he totally for real loves him and putting on a show for his parents. It works because when Mei bursts into the room a minute later to pry MK off or Red and administer the “antidote” (which is just a little vial of water) DBK and PIF are definitely weirded out and don’t even try to stop her. Mei and MK make their escape trying desperately to hold back their giggles, and Iron Fan decides maybe it’s for the best.. that love potion seemed to be a bit much.
On his way back to the palace Red is greeted by Mei and MK who were waiting to have a word with him.. that is if they can stop laughing for long enough to say anything to him. They’re both doubled over screaming about DBK and PIF’s faces when MK was all over their son and how they ABSOLUTELY had that coming. Red doesn’t disagree, but he does ask why MK felt the need to feel him up in front of his parents as it was a bit awkward for him as well, especially for that brief minute when he thought he had actually drank a love potion. Mei apologizes saying it was her idea.. she wanted to make sure Red wasn’t in on it too in order to protect MK. She also mentions that she kind of had to make up for not protecting him from the potion in the first place.. which Red has to ask for an explanation for, which is how he learns that MK DID drink the love potion but they both assumed it was like, a bad batch of the potion or something since it didn’t appear to affect MK at all. Red is quiet for a moment but then he gets suddenly flustered again and says a quick goodbye as he vanishes.
See, Prince Red does know a thing or two about magic potions, like how if you already love the person, a love potion doesn’t have any affect on the drinker. He’s not sure how to take this information, and it seems like MK doesn’t know what it meant either, so does that mean he doesn’t know that he loves Red? He spends that whole night fitfully tossing and turning trying to decide if MK actually loves him or if maybe it really was just that the potion maker was bad at his job... he resolves that he’ll just have to keep proposing to MK and if he really does love Red well then maybe he’ll finally realize it and say yes one of these times~
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tigerseye46 · 3 years
Note
Sequel from this. #6 & 17, shadowpeach are advising DBK & PIF to never make the same mistake again and be the family that they used to be.
Wooooo! Enjoy!
6. “That… That’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me.” 17. “Eeny-meeny-miny-moe… Your turn to comfort the baby; now go!”
                                   -----------------------
  Xiaolian babbled in her stroller, sucking on her fingers as Macaque and Wukong walked around with her in their human disguises, they were making their way to a park. They cooed at their granddaughter. She was holding a monkey plush in her lap.
 “Isn’t she the cutest thing in the world, Mango?” Wukong asked.
 “She definitely is, Peaches.” He booped Xiaolian’s nose, she giggled and kicked her feet. Wukong and Macaque kneeled down to tickle her. Two shadows watching them in the distance as they played with their granddaughter, Wukong was the first to notice them.
  The monkey king glanced at the two figures. “Do you see them, Mango?”
  Macaque followed his gaze. “Yea, Peaches. I do.”
  The king hissed, “DBK and Iron Fan…” Macaque placed a hand on his hips as he glared at the two. What would they be doing here? After they ran away from the hospital following Xiaolian’s birth, no one had seen them in a year as if they just vanished but now here they were.
   Macaque crossed his arms. DBK and Iron Fan attempted to back away when the six eared monkey called out to them. “Hey! We can see you two! Come out!”
  DBK and Iron Fan reluctantly stepped forward, DBK in a small form than normal, their faces ashamed as they gaze intently at their granddaughter. Xiaolian was too busy moving the arms of her plush to notice. The monkeys narrowed their eyes at the demons, watching their every move.
  “Why are you two here?” Wukong questioned.
  DBK looked at his wife and she replied, “We’re- we’re here to check on our granddaughter.”
  Macaque growled, “Wow, finally, it took you two a year to check up on her.”
  DBK yelled, “We wanted to check on her sooner but we were…”
  “You were scared,” said Wukong. “Ox brother, what happened to you? You all used to be a good family, an evil family but you loved each other. What ever happened to that?”
  DBK gazed at his wife, her mouth agape, he mumbled, “I… I don’t know.”
  “You used to remember the exact hour and date of his birth! And when you were freed you treated the kid like dirt!”
   Macaque whispered, “Wow, you used to remember the exact hour and date he was born, what a nerd.”
   His husband elbowed him. “Not now, Mango. You used to be happy! Do you know much we had to comfort your kid when his parents refused to show up to his daughter’s birth? How hurt he was when you didn’t answer the fact that our son was pregnant? You hurt him, he wants you to be a family again.”
  The other monkey nodded. “Flamethrower and I might not always agree at times but he deserves better parents than you two.”
  Iron Fan said, “We know… we want to make it up to him and to our granddaughter. Over the past year, we realized how we were acting. We want to be that family again.” The monkeys raised their eyebrows and exchanged glances. “We do not expect you to believe us but we would like a chance at least.”
  Wukong opened his mouth to reply when he was cut off by Xiaolian’s crying. DBK and his wife had panicked looks on their faces. Macaque gestured at his husband then at the two other demons, questioning what they should do, Wukong shrugged in response.
  DBK asked “Wh-what does she need?”
  “Is she hungry?” Princess Iron Fan followed up.
  “Thirsty?”
  “Is she scared?”
  “Should we leave?”
  “What if I hurt her?”
  Question after question popped up, Wukong could tell they were actually serious about wanting to meet their granddaughter, he smirked and joked, “Eeny-meeny-miny-moe… Your turn to comfort the baby; now go!” He pushed them towards the stroller.
  “Peaches, what are you doing?”
  “Don’t worry. They actually want to change. Nothing wrong with giving them a push.” He winked. His husband sighed and wrapped his tail around Wukong’s waist, pulling him in.
  DBK and Iron Fan’s hearts broke at Xiaolian’s crying. They kneeled before her, she was beautiful, her red hair and horns reminding them of their son. DBK turned to a slightly smaller form, using a hand to wipe her tears away. Xiaolian stared at her grandfather, the sobbing dying down as she made grabby hands at his horns, he leaned him and she takes his horns in her tiny hands. A bright smile comes onto the bull’s face.
  He leaned in further and touched her forehead with his, Xiaolian making some happy noises. Iron Fan placed a hand on her husband’s shoulder and stared at her with sparkly eyes. DBK declared, “She’s beautiful. How did we almost miss out on this?”
  “I don’t know, baby.”
  Their granddaughter gripped her grandfather’s horns harder. “She has a good grip, she’ll be strong indeed. Hello little princess.”
  “Yes, she will.” She ran a hand against Xiaolian’s cheek, the princess’s heart melted as a giggle emitted from the baby. “We have to be better.” Her husband nodded.
  “Does he still want to see us?”
  Wukong spoke up, “Yes, he does. He wants you to be in his life.”
  The couple exchanged glances. “I don’t know if we’re ready,” Iron Fan said. “We want to see him but we don’t know if it’s the right time.”
  “For you or for him?”
  “For us. We do want to see Xiaolian still though.”
  “Dear, how are we going to see our granddaughter without seeing our son?”
  “I am not sure, baby…”
  “How about when we have Xiaolian then you can see her?” Macaque offered.
  “Mango is right. You can see her when we have her.”
  The other demon couple gasped. “Would you really be willing to do that for us?”
  The monkeys nodded. “As you long as you talk to sparky eventually.”
  Iron Fan agreed with “We will. We’ll do it when we’re ready.”
  The two nodded again. DBK and Iron Fan turned back to their granddaughter, cooing at her with her giggling and babbling melting their hearts. DBK looked at his old brother. “I owe you. Thank you, my monkey brother.”
  Wukong beamed. “That… That’s the first time you’ve ever said that to me in awhile.” His tail wagged and they shared smiles, their attention returning to Xiaolian.
  The grandparents watched their granddaughter, amazed at how beautiful she was. DBK and Iron Fan had a lot of time to think over the past year, watching their granddaughter from a distance made them realize that they needed to be better, they needed to make it up to their son and be the family they used to be. Maybe not today but one day.
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lake-arrius-caverns · 3 years
Text
Prologue - pt 1
content warnings strong language (including the c word)
so i lied im posting it today
here it is, the first part of the prologue and roughly the point where things started to go to shit for the twins 👌 a short one but next part will be posted Sunday!
featuring lots of background characters and bad language (these kids have no decency)
read under the cut or on AO3, cheers 👍
:: First :: || << Previous << || >> Next >> || :: Masterpost ::
— — — — — — — — — — 
“Does anyone believe in prophecy? Or destiny?”
Silence overtook the makeshift camp following the question, directed at nobody in particular. For a few seconds none of the group spoke, the only sound being the merry crackling of the fire sitting on the shoreline of the Imperial City Waterfront. All eyes were now on the ginger Breton, Merrick, whose expression was rather blank as he stared at the fire, lost in deep thought. Absently he petted the head of a large black and grey dog that sat beside him, her tail wagging lazily with contentment. 
“What brought that on?” asked a Dunmer, Nari, her brow raised inquisitively. 
Merrick finally looked up, catching Nari’s eye and shrugging. “Don’t know. Just... something I read-“
“Oh, look out. Merrick’s been reading again!” Fahjoth, another Dunmer, teased as he ran his fingers through his choppy black hair, eliciting a round of laughter from the gathered crowd. Their number was modest tonight - most appeared to be off doing their own thing, if they weren’t currently incarcerated. 
“Wonder which book he nicked this time?” Cassius, a fair-haired Imperial and the de-facto group leader, smirked at Merrick. Despite his young age, he was a talented strategist and thus far the group had thrived under his competent tactics.
Merrick’s freckled cheeks flushed bright pink and he opened his mouth to argue, before settling on a pout instead as he drew a black leatherbound book out from his satchel.
“It’s The Book of the Dragonborn,” he explained, opening the book and thumbing absently through the pages. “It details the contents of an Elder Scroll-“
“The fuck is an Elder Scroll?” 
“-and the prophecy written in it,” Merrick continued, smiling slightly as his dog buried her nose in his hand. “It’s really interesting. But I’m not sure what to think about the concept of predeterminism and all that.” 
“Merrick, mate...” Cassius said. “No offence, but I don’t think anyone here knows what the fuck you’re talking about.” 
Before Merrick could respond, a rustling from the bushes nearby caught everyone’s attention and instantly put everyone on edge - but the group heaved a collective sigh of relief when a third Dunmer, bearing a striking similarity to Fahjoth, emerged in the shadows, hauling a rather large sack along with them. 
“Ey, there she is!” Fahjoth exclaimed cheerfully, “What’ve you-“ 
As quickly as the previous tension left, it doubled back, more palpable than ever. Now illuminated by the glow of the fire, her grave countenance eased into wary relief as she approached, yet did not leave entirely. 
“And she’s alone,” Cassius remarked, suspicion evident in word and gaze. 
“We lost Shorbjorn,” Ribyna said dully, dropping onto the grass besides Fahjoth and resting her head on her hand. Fahjoth’s face fell in mirrored grief, and he immediately offered his twin a bottle of brandy. Ribyna accepted the drink without a second glance and began to drink without hesitation.  
“Ribyna?” Cassius prompted after a few seconds of deafening silence. “What the fuck happened?”
Ribyna’s expression was stony as she eventually responded. “We were seen. Bad timing. The fucker called for the city guard and about 10 of them all came running. That cunt of a captain, Rusant. He was there.” 
A murmur of displeasure rippled throughout the gathering. An altercation with the newly-appointed captain of the city guard, Leonius Rusant, did not bode well for anyone unlucky enough to be involved. “And?” Cassius frowned. “What then? You’re both fast, what was the problem?” 
“Shorbjorn tripped. That’s what the problem was,” Ribyna answered. “They were on him like flies on shit in seconds. He yelled for me to keep running, so I did...”
Once again a somber silence fell over the group, before Abik, a Redguard, spoke up in a low, gravelly tone. 
“It’s alright. It’s only petty theft- he’ll get one, maybe two years at the most-” he began, cautious, but Ribyna only cut him off with a dry scoff devoid of humor. 
“Nah. Shorbjorn decided to fight back. Decked the Captain right in the face. Busted his nose. I heard Rusant - ’I’ll see you hung for that!’”
Once again, a heavy quiet settled over the once cheerful camp, everyone’s faces now reflecting sorrow or anger or a combination of the two. Eventually, the silence was broken by a small Argonian. 
“And you just ran?!” Taneen-Mil spat indignantly at Ribyna, who instantly tensed her shoulders and glared back at him. “You could’ve helped him!”
“And got myself arrested as well?!” Ribyna snapped back. “Yeah, that would’ve been fucking helpful! You would’ve had a shitload of fun starving for a week without any food!” 
“Guys,” Abik interrupted before the confrontation could escalate any further, scratching his beard with exasperation. “Quiet. Taneen, Ribyna wouldn’t have stood a chance. She did right by running away.”
Taneen couldn’t argue, and so he simply settled into a huffing silence. A few moments later though, he stood up. “I’m going to bed,” he announced bitterly. “See you tomorrow.” 
Not long after he departed, the other group members also stood up and bid their various farewells. Before leaving, one of them, a dark-haired Imperial named Vykstrus, stared grimly at Merrick. 
“This is why the whole prophecy, destiny, whatever thing is bullshit. You reckon Shorbjorn was destined to die like this?”
“Leave it, Vyk,” the Bosmer Aerlewen murmured. “Come on.” 
A younger Bosmer, Siriel, cast a melancholy look back towards the group, before they too slunk away and disappeared into the shadows after the others. Eventually, all that remained was Cassius, Fahjoth, Abik, Merrick and Ribyna, the latter of which was still seething judging by the sour look on her face. Merrick gently wrapped an arm around her shoulders.
“You don’t blame yourself, do you?” he asked, looking mournful himself. Ribyna didn’t respond for a few moments, but eventually she heaved a despondent sigh.
“I do wonder if... if there was something I could’ve done,” she admitted. Abik was quick to reassure her. 
“Course not. You were outnumbered five to one, kid,” he pointed out. “That’s the way of life for us out here. Either you’re fast and agile enough to escape, or you get caught. Simple as that.“
Ribyna still looked troubled, so Fahjoth pulled her into a rough, one-armed hug. “We’re just glad you made it back safe,” he told her. “What would I have done without my little nuisance, eh?”
Ribyna managed a small grin at that, playfully pushing Fahjoth away. Cassius, despite still looking disappointed, nodded in agreement. “They’re right. It’s better to lose one of us than to lose two.” Eventually he stood up, looking down at Fahjoth curiously. “I’m off. You coming?”
Fahjoth shook his head. “I think I’ll stay here tonight.” He shot a subtle glance towards his twin and back, and Cassius nodded in understanding. 
“Yeah, don’t worry. See you tomorrow then.” He leaned down briefly to give Fahjoth a kiss, before turning and pacing quietly away into the darkness. 
Abik stood with his hands in his pockets, staring thoughtfully up at the stars. “Someone‘s gonna.. take care of Rusant before long, you mark my words,” he said. “Maybe the Gray Fox will step in, if we’re lucky. All I know is.. things can’t keep on like this.” After stretching with a roll of his shoulders, he turned his gaze down to Merrick. “You ready, Merrick?”
Merrick slowly nodded, watching Ribyna with concern. “Yeah...” He slowly got to his feet and rubbed Ribyna’s shoulder sympathetically. “Try not to worry, Ribyna. It wasn’t your fault, ok?” 
Ribyna looked up at Merrick, touching his hand with her own and managing a small smile of gratitude. “Yeah... cheers, mate. See you tomorrow.”
“Bye. Come, Pip.” Merrick headed off in Abik’s wake with his dog trotting along beside him, occasionally glancing over his shoulder to throw a smile or a wave at the twins. Ribyna watched him go, then turned to Fahjoth.
“You didn’t have to stay with me, y’know,” she pointed out. “I’m fine.”
Fahjoth chuckled dryly. “It’s fine. I wanted to. I can get some anytime.”
Ribyna wrinkled her nose in distaste and chortled. “Too much information, bro. Gods, you’re a humble bastard, aren’t you?”
“You know it.” Fahjoth grinned, but then his face fell into a worried frown. “You had a close call tonight, y’know. You’ll have to be more careful in future.”
“Really? I was thinking of going in with a blindfold on next time.”
“I’m serious,” Fahjoth sighed. “We’ve been lucky so far, but more and more of us are getting nicked by the day. Sorak, Pif and now Shorbjorn...” He lapsed into silence, staring into the flames for a few moments. “Right, come on then. Let’s get some sleep ourselves.” 
Fahjoth stood up and tossed a nearby bucket of water on the woodpile, extinguishing the fire and plunging them into darkness. Once their eyes became used to the gloom, the Waterfront was bathed in the cool silver glow of the waning moons above. “Let’s hope those bastard rats haven’t chewed through our shit again.” 
Ribyna nodded mutely, hauling herself to her feet and trudging after her twin brother towards shelter. Despite her friends’ reassurances, there was a heavy weight in her gut that just wouldn’t shift, the night’s events replaying over and over in her mind until eventually she would find sleep.
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quitealotofsodapop · 5 months
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Are Reborn!IronBull also cursed by Queen Mother of the West? Maybe with Xiao Qi there, they have a better chance of getting cured? If it does, they have no reservations on having him joining their family as a son in law. 😅
Oh gosh I can just imagine the first time the pilgrims run into the Reborn!Ironbull couple is sometime after Reborn!Red starts being friends with Xiao Qi. "Let me invite you to my house!"-kinda situation.
The two sets of parents immediately recognise eachother. They're all are delighted to see an old pair of friends once more, and more so to see them with kids!
Reborn!DBK, booming laughter: "Xiandi [worthy little brother]! I thought you said you and the Macaque would never get along in a million years! Now your calves are storming my palace!" XD Liang, sly smile: "In his defence, most were unplanned." Smokey: *blushing furiously, as the five younger monkeys use him like a jungle gym*
Its all the pleasantries and relaxation and convincing the couple to help them cross the Flaming Mountains for old times sake. But at some point during dinner, Xiao Qi (already having made a good impression on the Demon Bull Couple as a polite little man) wanders up to Iron Fan with a sad look on his face...
Reborn!PIF: "What is it, little one?" Xiao Qi: "It's not fair what Wangmu did to you..." Reborn!PIF, surprised: "What do you mean?" Xiao Qi, tearing up cus hyper-empathy: "Wangmu put a curse on your tummy and it makes it hard for you to have babies. It's not fair." Everyone at the dinner table: *shocked silent* Xiao Qi: *puts a little pink fuzzy hand on PIF's middle. The hand glows, and the image of a seal/magic sigil breaking forms* Everyone: (」°ロ°)」 Σ(゚口゚;)// Xiao Qi, smiling widely: "There! I got rid of it! It wont hurt you anymore, and Red can have a baby brother like she told me she wanted!" *happily wanders back to his seat* Reborn!Red, in the seat next to them: "I told you that in confidence!" Reborn!DBK & PIF: *both looking at eachother in complete shock. Their hands hovering over PIF's middle as they feel a lightness not felt in centuries* Smokey, also shocked but used to it: "Fruitie, I said no lifting curses without asking first!" Xiao Qi, face stuffed with food: "But it was making her sad!!" Liang: "Oh by the buddha! We're so sorry Tieshan! A-Qi has strong healing magic and-" Reborn!Ironbull: *Liang's apology gets cut off as both start crying with joy at the realisation*
Of course with the knowledge that Red's best-friend/crush is a super powerful magic-user with a heart as big as the world, and who lifted a divine curse made by Xiwangmu herself, the Reborn!Ironbull couple are asking for marriage arrangements this century.
Red shrieks in embarassment, while Xiao Qi asks aloud what marriage is.
Smokey and Liang politely decide to leave it up to the kids once they get older, but only get away with that if they agree to actually marry eachother finally - the Demon Bull couple don't want to be potiential in-laws to a couple living in sin! The Fruitiedads can't even argue that they're "just friends/rivals" anymore, that barrier got crossed around the time the five stone-fruit-monkeys happened.
Reborn!Pigsy: "Excellent! Will there be a wedding banquet?" Reborn!Sandy: *lets out a stream of gasp bubbles* Smokey, shrugging with a cheeky smile: "Well guess I might not be a monk for much longer." Liang, similar cheeky look: "Oh please, you havent been a monk for years now." Rest of the fruitiedad kiddos: *happy chirping/barking!*
Tripitaka has to officiate. He faints seconds after the ceremony comences.
Red holds Xiao Qi's hand for years after wards, loudly proclaiming "I'm not marrying him!" while drawing "Mr & Mrs Sun-Demon Bull" into her diary. Xiao Qi is terribly dense but adoring nonetheless.
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starsfic · 2 years
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That's incredibly random prompt, but Princess iron fan and dbk decide for a second child and are too embarrassed/feel too awkward to tell anyone(Especially red son since pif is aware of her rather questionable parenting)which creates even more awkward situations.
"I mean, we have to tell people eventually."
The day was warm, the summer sun bright. Down in the courtyard, a small picnic had been set up, where Red Son sat with the Noodle Boy and the Dragon Girl. Despite the summer heat, however, Iron Fan was dressed in heavy clothing. It hid the small bump.
"Do we?" her husband said next to her, taking a dainty sip from the equally dainty teacup. He sounded nervous. She couldn't blame him.
They had never handled children...well. Pregnancy alone had been difficult, multiple tries ending up with nothing or...losing. It had been sheer luck that Red Boy hadn't been ill or something when he was born. And then there had been raising their son, which...
Iron Fan knew she hadn't been the best mother. Losing her husband had ripped something open in her. She hadn't had much hands in Red Boy's upbringing before then either, with him being sent to India when he showed his fire abilities and then her husband setting him up at Fiery Cloud Cave. And then there had been losing him. Safe to say, she hadn't been a good mother and she knew it.
"Would you prefer this child to be born and our son to be surprised?" She didn't mean to sound so cold, but it was a good point.
"...No."
"We need to tell people." Iron Fan said, trying her best to be a bit more gentle. "I know it's awkward, but he needs to know he will have a sibling."
DBK nodded.
"I just don't know how."
-_-
"So when do you think your parents are going to say they're going to have a baby?"
Red shrugged. "I have no idea, Noodle Boy." He turned his gaze up to the balcony his parents were watching. "I wish it was soon. I would prefer my mother to not hurt herself ducking out of the way whenever I come in and she's not hiding the bump."
"Yeah," Xiaojiao giggled, yanking out her phone. "I have so many ideas for the nursery!" Red felt his own chuckle form as he peeked over her shoulder. Of course her ideas involved cute bull murals.
Hopefully they would tell soon.
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Telephone
The setting of the Lady Gaga song Telephone but with the settings and characters changed
The year was 1984
Vyvyan had just completed his course of “community service” when he got a phone call
He put the weights he was holding down and went over to pick up the phone
A whiny posh sounding voice could be heard from the other line
“You fascist you haven’t been calling me for weeks, I’ve been worried I’m coming over there”
Vyvyan groaned he had been so busy with community work and “rehabilitation” that he didn’t answer Rick’s calls often.
He sat in the prison playground when someone blasted I thought the law  by The Clash which made him mosh with fellow prisoners
Soon the songs kept changing from The Clash to Dead Kennedys to Buzzcocks
Vyvyan was loving this he started dancing about the jail cell hallways with his cellmates
He took photos of him and his cellmates and then got the message from the speakers
*could Vyvyan please arrive downstairs you have a visitor”
Vyvyan shrugged, packed his belongings and carried them with him as he went downstairs
Standing at the reception exit was Rick in a light brown coat with shades on and his communist beret
Vyvyan signed his papers and off they went towards his car, getting inside
Rick sat opposite him, folding his hands unhappy “You’ve been a complete bastard, an utter, utter, utter Bastard Vyvyan!”  
As he took out a packet of kebabs and bit aggressively into one while he handed the bag to him
Vyvyan devoured most of the packet.
“You know Vyvyan politics is like a mirror, You can still fix it if the system is smashed”
Vyvyan stared snarling at him “But the clock will keep ticking when it’s time for nuclear annihilation
They turned on the radio and a protect and survive PIF was on, it switched over to Poison by Alice Cooper
They smirked at each other as they got an idea
Rick said cheerfully,
“You what they say to kill the pigs you must eat the Rich”
Speeding off the highway until they arrived at  a local pub
They walked in Rick sat at one of the benches while Vyvyan wandered over to the Kitchen
He saw some fascist blokes walk over as they started to attack the people Rick was sitting next to  
Rick stood up and tried to fight them usually he’s not confrontational but fascists are fascists and like the state, they needed to be smashed to pieces
Grabbing a fork Rick tried to stab one of the fascists in the arm, while he bit the other before tackling them and punching them as he snorted gleefully sitting with an innocent look on his face while he drank his tea
Meanwhile, Vyvyan was in the kitchen preparing a poisonous feast he studied medicine for a reason so he knew what chemicals to throw in that would make the customers hurl and wheeze
He got some rat poison and other substances sprinkling them into the food via salt packets
Vyvyan walked in carrying the tray as he set the dishes on the tables
The fascists bit into dishes before they collapsed while the fascists who didn’t die were scalded by Rick spilling tea over them.
Rick put a cd into the radio only for Let’s Dance by David Bowie to be blasted
Rick, Vyvyan and the other pub customers danced along
Until the party was over, cops were on their way so off they dashed into Vyv’s car and drove off into the sunset.
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