Another sad comic hc/idea that came to me, imagine Amb and Bal get into an argument or something, and it's quite some time after they've gotten back together but before they're engaged/married
And Ambs refers to Ballister as his boyfriend (in some argumentative context, like "I would expect that my boyfriend would" etc) and Ballister, who much prefers the term partner, is like "lol, 'boyfriend'? What, are you sixteen?" And Ambrosius glares at him, obviously pissed off and hurt, and says "I'm sorry. Roommate."
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DAY TWO OF SPIDERBIT THEME WEEK STARTED BY @anonymous-dentist! :D
SELECTED THEME: MURDER HUSBANDS
(au slash something or other where purgatory happens later bc we were robbed of murder husbands plans)
(i, uh… violence warning? murder husbands commit murder. i think this is one of the more interesting things i've ever written. you'll see why)
Their synergy is that of a well-oiled machine; quick yet eerily meticulous, like they’d done it together a thousand times already.
(Only one of them has. But the anger, the desire for blood and revenge from the other, is the perfect compensation.)
Their victims don’t stand a chance, one dropping to the floor right after the other with barely a chance to react.
The guard vaguely recognizes the man pinning him to the ground, whose arms are littered in scars new and old and whose clothes are stained with blood. A red and black dagger is held against its throat. They warned it, about this man. A potential threat, but not definitive.
Definitive, indeed.
The struggle only seems to make the man more pleased, laughing with a grin like the Cheshire Cat. The guard gets a few hits in with its baton, knocking him back, but he always comes right back, eager to fight. Eager to play. Eager to kill.
The other worker knows next to nothing about the other man dealing with it. But what’s more concerning is that they were wrong. There isn’t just one killer to be weary of. Since when was there two? Has it been two this whole time?
It’s this worker that’s the first of the two to go, the spider-hybrid above it playing no games with it, unlike his companion. The worker’s one and only attempt at self-defense is blocked with ease, and it watches as two extra sets of ruby red eyes open to stare at it, pupils as thin as needles.
(As if to say, you shouldn’t have done that.)
He strikes, and there are fangs piercing its neck. Immediately, it feels something coursing through its veins, numbing as its limbs feel as heavy as lead. The fangs are torn out of its white fur with no remorse, and the last thing it feels through coughing and sputtering is a spider leg piercing right through his chest. Digging.
And that’s that.
The guard sees it happen. And that’s the last thing it sees. Because the dagger that’d been shoved through its chest is pulled out and slicing against its neck, quick and efficient as it slumps to the floor, unmoving…
Cellbit climbs to his feet, lifting the dagger and swiping his tongue along the flat side of the blade, licking the blood clean off.
He watches Roier - his love, his husband - hold a heart without so much as flinching. If anything, the spider-hybrid seems just as pleased as he is, even if his expression is stoic, borderline angry.
(He knows how to read that man better than most people.)
Roier’s black sweatshirt is stained even darker still with fresh blood, hands covered in it too as he drops the organ carelessly, standing as well.
(Cellbit’s heart jumps, and he resists the urge to walk over, pulling him into a smothering kiss.)
It’s Roier who walks over to him first, finally smiling and looking evidently satisfied. Roier slips behind him, chin hooking over his shoulder, arms circling his waist as they both admire their handiwork.
“Que lindo,” the spider-hybrid murmurs.
The tone nearly sends a pleasant shiver down Cellbit’s spine. “Sim.”
Cellbit finally wheels around after a few moments pass, shoving his dagger away momentarily to cup Roier’s face and pull him into a bruising kiss.
His husband makes a surprised sound but immediately reciprocates, arms wrapping tight around his neck and deepening the kiss.
It tastes like blood; metallic and bitter and addictive.
(Cellbit’s heart hammers in his chest, and he’s never felt more alive.)
(Roier starts to understand the thrill, too.)
…
Two new bodies show up, mutilated and massacred as ever. But there’s a catch, this time. They don’t show up days apart; they appear on the same exact day, and the exact same place.
(And one of them is missing a heart.)
The dead Federation workers have been morbidly displayed on the quartz floor in front of the train station. Bloody symbols paint the pristine white floor crimson with another message, another clue.
Find it before we do.
Far away from the train station, in a tall, brooding castle on a hill, the island’s head investigator sits, carefully cleaning red off of his wedding ring as he and his husband strategize and plan out their next little date.
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Fanart? Fan-tableaux? The door to my lab cosplaying as the door to a Preservation Alliance auditorium?
POV: You are a Preservation Alliance resident coming to the quarterly planetary town hall after Dr. Mensah's return to ask your elected officials about some normal infrastructural issue or something and you see this.
(Comments added by Murderbot, Ratthi, Pin-Lee, and Gurathin, respectively.)
Full text:
Notice on today's Open Forum Meeting:
The Steering Committee Councilors will no longer be taking questions about SecUnits.
If you came with a question about SecUnits, please refer to the FAQ below.
Is the Preservation Alliance now contracting, building, or using SecUnits?
No. There is one (1) SecUnit who lives on Preservation Station and it is a refugee pursuing full citizenship.
Is it reporting back to a company?
No.
Does it want to kill all humans?
No.
Does it have a guardian like bots do?
Yes.
Is the guardian controlling it?
No. It is an autonomous person just like you.
Do I need to treat it with the full respect and rights granted to any citizen of the Preservation Alliance?
Yes.
Even if—
Yes.
Will the Preservation Alliance be getting more SecUnits in the future?
The Preservation Alliance maintains its stance that the creation and use of constructs for labor is wrong and antithetical to our values. However, if other SecUnits in the future choose to request asylum or citizenship in the Preservation Alliance, we will respect their rights as refugees or immigrants equally as we have in the past for humans and bots.
Any questions not addressed here should be directed to Councilmember Halima Shewaye at her professional feed message address. Please do not ask your question in the open forum to allow others to have their non-SecUnit-related concerns heard."
Next to "Does it want to kill all humans?" is written in red marker, "If you keep bothering Dr. Mensah about this I might decide I do actually." This is scribbled out in black pen, and beneath it in a different handwriting reads, "IT'S JOKING."
Further down, at the bottom of the paper, in dark green ink, is written, “For information about SecUnit's refugee status, contact Qian Pin-Lee at
[email protected]." On a post-it note next to it, in thin sharp handwriting, is an arrow and the words "I wouldn't".
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Now hold on a gosh-diddly-darn minute, I noticed the entire time talking about a tipsy Peppino no one thought to ask this but what about tipsy GUS? I mean we saw him a li'l tipsy in the fastfood saloon escape, can I hear your thoughts about that/him please? Have they ever gotten tipsy together?
(I just like the mental image of the two alone, just being real giggly with each other (Gus just says "hey" and Peppi starts giggling which sets Gus off giggling) and being sappy goofs with each other <3)
HEEHEE u are so right and i am so sorry for withholding this information from the masses 😭
My homebrew for gnomes is that they are simultaneously hardy folk (able to eat virtually anything and immune to most poisonous creatures) AND extremely intolerant of alcohol. Theres no reason for that, i just like it alot :)
So Gus would be an extreme lightweight 😭 its SO bad; he cant speak clearly at all, he cant walk straight, he has the Worst hangovers and he wont remember anything from the previous night. The line between ‘pleasantly buzzed’ and ‘blackout drunk’ is so thin that Gus doesnt even try social drinking. If he MUST drink, it will be in the comfort of his own barebones apartment 😭 at least, until Peppino started hanging out with vigilante and his crew.
Gustavo LIKES drinking! Its just hard to find a good balance, and THATS bc he simply doesnt know how alcohol works. Peppino is like:
“Look ‘ere. All of these have a number somewhere on the bottle. Or a percentage. Lower the number, the better it is for you.”
Gustavo is like !!! Oh!!! That is very helpful! What would you recommend for me then?
“Probably…2-5%. 5-10 proof. Small 'a numbers.”
Gustavo nods, interested. He points at a bottle he recognizes from the last time he came here and got shitfaced. “That one up there; do you know how ‘a strong that one is? Or should i ask the bartender?”
Peppino squints at the company label. “45%.”
“Oh!” That makes sense. “Well what do you usually drink?”
“70%.”
“Oh!”
Peppino recommends some of the LIGHT light wines, the ones that barely have a hint of anything. Theyre sweet (which Gustavo loves so very very much) and for the first time in a very long time, he Stays buzzed instead of immediately faceplanting into being blackout drunk.
Hes very. Playful. Is what Peppino would describe a tipsy Gustavo. He hesitates to use the term ‘flirty’ because that is not whats happening. But hes like. Clearly entertaining some gruff looking men like five times his size as they ramble drunkenly about random shit like ‘waow….thasso cool…and then what happened???’
Its funny at first bc Gustavo is so fucking TINY that all you can see of him, in the group of men as they yapyapyap about some inane shit that Gustavo wont even remember, is his tiny little tail 😭 It is less funny, however, when Peppino catches himself rambling about work and Gustavo is like (ears perked; tail swaying) ‘mmhmm. wrow…thats ‘a kinda nice…what else did you do??’ Peppino is like *buffering* (‘something is happening right now that will need to be addressed at a later time. Do not forget DO NOT FORGET. URGENT!!!!’)
Otherwise Gustavo is just a silly guy. Vigilante will make a joke and he laughs so low and deep that he sounds downright villainous 😭 Peppino will point out something stupid on the TV and like hours later Gus is like ‘…heeeuehuuueee…..do u remember [insert stupid reference] and Peppino will giggle. Peppinos affinity for throwing around ilus are met with Gustavo going ‘😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊’ with absolutely no way to even pretend to mask it.
Gustavo has fun being out in the saloon but he really enjoys drinking in Peppinos house. Its not nearly as loud as the saloon and theres usually homecooked foods like breads and soups (Because Peppino stress-cooks ALL the time). Brick gets to stay indoors instead of waiting outside the saloon, so Gustavo gets to mess with his soft fur contentedly. He just gets to be cozy; its quite nice 😊
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