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#please i am Begging pls enable me
tittysuckersworld · 3 months
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PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEAAAASE!!!!! tell me about your huhhhhh fem skk au .... actor dazai.. band chuuya. idk where the post went i think it was you, i beg, on my hands and knees i love them. plzplzplz (agree with ur tags btw me2:(( )
I AMMM THE PERSON WITH AUU THANK YOU FOR ENABLING MEEEEEE- ehem hi hallo i am yes hi sudhsudjs okay ya uhhhhh hm im not sure where to start from where left off- rant got long so under cut is more :>
but pretty much soukoku as an idol group til the photographer/aspireing writer oda somehow gets in a scandle and has his parental rights to his kids taken away. before was shared custody but now is.. not.
at this point dazai was already very ready to quit being an idol. so to try and cover up the oda scandal she leaks some pictures of her kissing some people earlier in her career and some mysterious ginger lady....... she also sets up a bomb under one of the agencys cars to really blow everything over.
chuuya is not happy with this. very not happy with this.
but, now she has the freedom to do whatever she wants with her music. so she gose full pop-punk rock<3<3<3<3 and also this is where stupid animatic make their way into my plan. remember the song black sheep cover by lady in schot pilgram, this is one song chuuya makes when she hits it off on her own. she also gets really popular when she moves to pop punk rock
okay dont actually have much else planned with this- just that 2-3 years later dazai publishes a book and its a crazy best seller. talking about the inner workings of the industry and is working on her next books. mabey publishes another in like a year. i am not fully sure timeline-
the dazai leaving the agensy and car bomb really give off breaking up vibes to chuuya til a hose soaked dazai is in front of her door. not even fake rain just blondie(kunikida) got mad at her plan and desided to try soaking the prick. i dont think they immediately start dating again, but they do at some point. and is secret dating ya.
dazai just shows up to some of chuuyas shows? its a running gag that dazai will somehow get on stage and fuck with chuuya. or mess with the lights. or just anything to make a lil ruckus. the media has no clue how dazai keeps ending up at them at the right place and right time.
so! one time 4-5-6 years after dazai leaves the company and a few years of them dating again, dazai sorta.. stops coming to the shows for a little? like seems to be super busy with new book or smth.
animatic timee
then on anniversary chuuya desides to sing one of her old songs. and dazai is sitting in the croud. and is so so much. at the end the light moves over to dazai in the croud as she walks tword the stage. then the lights shut off when shes on the stage. just those two, heres their dialog have thought up, will be little janky not best but im trying. pls change if want.
Ch: "oh so right here-"
D: "Chuuya Nakahara. that first day i met you. that was begrudgingly one of the best days of my life. you were one of the best things in my life. you are one of the best things in my sorry life."
*the sprinklers to the concert all go off*
Ch: "DAZAI?!!?!"
D:"Remember that first arcade date? it was raining so hard we got instantly soaked. got sick for a week with our managers yelling at us. i hated it, but i hated it with you."
D:"or how we snuck out durring that one stop in paris? i was able to get that shitty corner store wine and a day old baguette and you smiled so wide. it was like the sun opened up in front of me."
D:"Mabey instead you could think of that one time, after that accident at that one fan meet. where you slowly unwound and rewound my bandages. kissing each little thing. had to drag you off before you tryed kissing every molecule of my arms."
Ch, wispering: "Osamu.."
D:"Chuuya Nakahara. i am sick of telling lies to the world. im sick of hiding how my eyes can light up hearing your snorts. im sick of hiding the butterflys in my stomach whenever we brush hands on the sidewalk. im sick of not being able to say and shout to the world im yours. so today, no more hiding."
by this point any audience people that stayed are using the flash on their cameras to take pictures, and dazai had bent down to one knee.
D:"Insted, how about we be Chuuya Nakahara-Dazai and Osamu Dazai-Nakahara? from today to death do us part, will you marry me?"
and yada yada ruegfuejhrbe okay yup not sure thats any good- half tempted to have chuuya take the knee here but i think she dose her own cute more private proposal for her engagement back. but yee thats all i got planned!! thank you so much for enabling me and pls pls pls if wanna talk more about this me dms are so so so so open and so is my ask box please begging
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junniee7 · 5 months
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Public teasing W Yeonjun
Minors! pls don't interact
Right after the door to your guys shared apartment closed, you kissed Yeonjun. He had been teasing you all evening by squeezing/spanking your ass , stroking your inner thighs, and mumbling the most filthiest shit in your ear. You were an enabler, and you had to own up it. You would be too turned on to reject him each time he did anything like this. But not this time you had enough.
You were able to back him against the wall and reached under his shirt. In order for him to learn his lesson, you had to arouse him as much as possible. He had to experience what it was like to have something he really wanted tugged right away from him. He had to experience what it was like to have something he wanted so close, but so far away out of reach.
You sucked his tongue into your mouth and slowly palmed him through his pants. Yeonjun didn't protest when you decided to deepen and slow down the kiss. As he'd done to you all night, you had to drive him insane. When you undid his pants, he groaned.
Kissing him once more and then sucking his lower lip. You reached into his boxers and took hold of his hardening cock. It only took a single squeeze of his cock to get a deep moan from him. You started to run your hand over his thick, veiny cock, and he gave in easily, giving him goosebumps from your hungry kiss. Yeonjun lost all focus on everything but how you were making him feel, completely oblivious to your plan.
You moaned into Yeonjun's mouth and drew back, staring him down as you stroked his cock. You bit your lower lip and looked him in the eyes, the seductive gaze making Yeonjun weak. "Am I being a good girl, daddy?" you asked, your voice innocent yet dangerously lustful. Yeonjun blinked and swallowed noticeably. You slid your hand out of his pants before he could respond. You walked away, giving a seductive glance behind you.
As soon as that happened Yeonjun practically ran after you, grabbing you by your wrist and dragging you into the bedroom. The urgency of his kiss was exactly how you wanted it, He started leaving trails of hickeys from your neck to your collarbone.
"You've tease me all day, so maybe it's about time you get to see how it feels" He grinned at your words, "you cannot touch me until I say so” you said strictly, he was no longer grinning and looked at you dumbfounded.
Yeonjun watched as you started undressing, after sliding your panties off, you laid in bed As your skin touched the silky sheet, you relished the sensation. Your hands stroked your bare breasts, teasing your nipples into points before descending the remainder of your body. Your hand traveled to your entrance to find out how wet you are.
You moaned as you ran your fingertips across your slick folds. You couldn't help but have fun even though your goal was to tease Yeonjun. Yeonjun heard your faint whimpers as your index finger started to slide along your slit. He then pushed his pants down, bringing his boxers with them and started stroking himself.
Juices covered the little nub as your fingers circled around your clit. Yeonjun found this too much to bear. With you so close and him unable to give you the kind of touch he desired, he was unable to function normally. You gave him a firm instruction to back off as he approached the bed. Yeonjun was certain he would draw blood when his teeth dug into his lower lip. His hand could not please him like you did, so he quit stroking himself.
As soon as you inserted two fingers into your tiny opening, he began to beg. He pleaded, "Please allow me to touch you." You groaned as his voice faltered. He sounded so needy with the rough tone in his voice. Your orgasm was gradually intensifying, but you couldn't reach a proper orgasm with your fingers. You groaned, "Yeonjun-." He was between your legs before you could finish your statement. Yeonjun buried himself inside of you so quickly that you gasped. He let out a loud moan, enjoying the sensation of your soft velvety walls drawing him in deeper and deeper.
Yeonjun's thrusts were powerful and bold, each one a reminder of how excited you'd made him. As Yeonjun rammed into you, you played with your nipples. You screamed as you came long and hard around Yeonjun's cock. He groaned, his orgasm following closely behind yours. As you felt his cum fill you up, your body trembled.
"Maybe i should tease you more often" He kissed you, still yet to pull out.
Hope you enjoyed~
Sorry if any mistakes
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the-juniors · 4 years
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please elaborate on the coffee shop AU in your drafts 👀
oh, you enabler (thank you)
so this is basically an au within my modern au—same characterization nd all that, but just a “what if?” i got one day
(u can find my modern au here if u haven’t read it already)
alright, it’s the summer leading up to their last year, they’re in the living room nd zizhen is thinking out loud
“what if we opened a coffee shop together?”
this gets him excited and he runs with the idea, roping in jingyi with his enthusiasm
jin ling isn’t rlly having it, bc they’re still students nd there’s a lot that goes into opening a business
sizhui is listening along nd commenting here and there bc he loves seeing his friends so excited, damnit
however jingyi is not having ling’s lack of enthusiasm nd essentially convinces him through a game of chicken
“what, are you too scared? you think we can’t open a coffe shop?”
“no, our coffee shop is gonna be the best damn coffee shop this city’s ever seen. but we have to take into consideration—“
and so they sketch out the roughest of plans nd ideas
sizhui was kinda hoping they’d drop it once school started again (he’s an orchestra major, damnit) but ideas keep getting thrown around, storefronts being put up for lease keep being pointed out nd eventually he realizes that this is Actually Happening
with this realization, he buys a massive cork board (nd a million thumbtacks) for all the inspiration images, tips, notes, places that’re leasing near them, etc
zizhen also keeps a journal with all his notes, comparing prices of other coffee shops, calculations, random thoughts and ideas, etc etc
if you don’t think it’s painstakingly color coordinated nd organized, ur wrong
he never goes anywhere without it
i’m not gonna go into detail here, but the same time zizhen first came up with the idea the next year, they have a storefront nd are working towards opening day
(if y’all want the details, all u have to do is ask 👀👀)
ling is in charge of the paperwork side of things nd all that management (permits, calculating budgets, bills, etc)
zizhen is in charge of finding equipment nd working on the menu
jingyi fine tunes the menu (making sure flavors work together nd recipes are doable for any future employee) nd is in charge of marketing
side note: jingyi stress bakes, usually midnight the day before auditions or opening night, so he’s familiar with workshopping recipes (there’s smth abt the certainty of if u just follow the recipe, it’ll come out right that helps center him when his thoughts spin out of control)
sizhui works the layout/furnishing of the front nd honing the aesthetic of the place, basically focusing on the little details (the cups, chairs, signs, if there are plants or not, etc)
jingyi also took a music production class second semester and for each assignment/project, he would record sizhui’s playing and him singing and would mix them together to be played in the shop
opening day sees their family coming to see their baby (more details to ask abt if u want to know more 👀👀) nd a steady stream of students throughout the day
basically, opening day goes off without a hitch nd their coffee shop becomes a staple for students from their university to go to study or get a job
(they relatively quickly do become one of the best coffee shops in the area, like ling promised)
(nd maybe they fall in love and get together, but again, just more to ask abt :) )
trying to lay out my ideas for this au actually lead me to my modern au, so i have A Lot of ideas abt this so please ask me for further clarification abt Certain Points, and i will of course answer any questions you guys may have :)
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crozicrs · 3 years
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hello it is june again, back at it with a demon son here to ruin everyones lives. if you’d like to plot with zeke -- please give this post a like && i’ll hit you up to plot. ilu all k thnks bye 
( kiowa gordon / male ) ZEKE CROZIER is 24 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. HE is majoring in FINE ARTS and is known for being THE CYNIC as HE can be FORTHRIGHT and EXPRESSIVE as well as SARDONIC and BLUNT. every time i see HIM, HE reminds me of tattered leather jackets, trails of smoke and ash, paint stained clothing.. ( june / 24 / she&her / gmt+2)
BASICS.
✘ born and raised in arizona ✘ the most most cynical person you will ever meet ✘ always smoking. never catch him without a cigarette ✘ panromantic / pansexual  ✘ very shy when it comes to his art ✘ primarily a painter but dabbles a lot in graffiti bc #vandalism 
did they have a connection to steven or nana?
zeke can be difficult to get along with, and it tended to be the case when it came to nana. they could bicker a lot and zeke would go out of his way to be blunt and damn near hurtful. he never cared what he said or how it affected nana.
( trigger warnings: abandonment, violence, minor drug mentions)
ABOUT.
✘ zeke crozier grew up in a typical delinquent fashion. he rebelled against anything and everything he possibly could, an extreme problem with authority. his parents weren’t exactly attentive -- too busy with their own lives to really pay attention to their son. he was often left to his own company, seeking family in all the wrong crowds. perhaps his actions were a cry for help but his childhood showed him that nobody could possibly be kind and genuine. he’s seen to much selfishness in his lifetime to believe anything else.
✘ he got into many fights in highschool, one incident bad enough that the threat of expulsion and the potential to land up in juvi looming over his head. a compromise was made, and he was later shipped off to his grandparents who would then care for him -- and while it was the best thing to happen to him, far too much damage had been done. 
✘ while the physical violence in his life seemed to come to a standstill, he later learned that he didn’t need to use his fists to be cruel. his words were sharp enough to cut deep. with the exception of his grandparents, zeke is under the impression that everyone has an agenda and simply looking out for themselves. much like he is in a way. he doesn’t care for the company of others -- or rather he’s afraid to allow himself to become close to anyone. his trust issues are immense and he would rather have someone hate him from his own doing than risk the potential of getting himself hurt.
✘ zeke’s grandmother, in an attempts to bond and provide some sort of outlet to her grandson, got him into painting. they both soon discovered that he shared his grandmother’s talents it was the only thing he seemed to take an interest too, something that he was actually good at that wasn’t filled with detachment and resentment. he would lock himself away in his room for hours and hours, finally keeping out of trouble for once
✘ he managed to graduate his new highschool with fairly decent grades, his art clearly outshining the rest of his grades. he managed to score himself a partial scholarship to thales and he had every intention to decline but his grandparents constantly begging and pleading him to at least give it a shot. he took a few gap years before finally accepting the offer (which was still surprisingly still on the table) 
✘ even though he discovered he quite likes to party, zeke still tends to keep to himself. if booze or other recreational substances aren’t in the picture he isn’t exactly interested. it’s difficult for him to relax and let go. 
✘ his attitude towards most people is incredibly blunt and harsh, not caring how his words affect people. he knows pain and anguish the most so why not inflict what he feels on the inside onto others. he excepts everyone to stab him in the back anyways so why not beat them to it.
✘ he keeps his art and his major to himself mostly, most people really not knowing what the hell his studies. unless you’re somehow close to him, the only people who see his paintings are classmates and professors. he gets really shy and flustered about it and does not like to talk about it at all. 
✘ despite his general distain for people, he tends to mostly paint portraits. he’ll often sit with his sketchbook and draw people around in public. so odds are, he’s probably drawn most people at some point.
CONNECTIONS.
✘ softness -- please just someone he is weirdly soft with ?? like he just adores them and isn’t a complete asshole with them and is just a normal human just give him fluff ok cool bYE
✘ frenemies -- bc lets be real, he’s going to be an asshole to people he calls friends. he cannot help himself
✘ fwbs / hookups -- who am i to not just make my muses hoes. i cannot be stopped. a mans has needs.
✘ partners in crime / bad influence -- someone who just enables his shitty behaviour and just embraces the fact that they’re both horrible people and that it’s perfectly ok and fuck everyone else k bye
✘ good influence -- someone who is trying their hardest to put a bandaid on this poor boi and mend his broken heart ok and loves him despite all his defiance 
✘ enemies / exes / stuffs -- he is who he is and he’s pissed off a lot of people ok 
✘ muse -- maybe someone hes just sorta infatuated with and ends up drawing / painting a lot and wdym it’s an obssesion i have no idea what you’re talking about
uHHH IM DOWN FOR LITERALLY ANY AND EVERY CONNECTION MY BRAIN JUST CANT THINK RIGHT NOW PLS LOVE MY HORRIBLE TRASH SON
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thisdaynews · 4 years
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JUST IN:Abike Dabiri Recounts how minister,Ibrahim Pantami chased her out of office with a Gun.
New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/just-inabike-dabiri-recounts-how-ministeribrahim-pantami-chased-her-out-of-office-with-a-gun/
JUST IN:Abike Dabiri Recounts how minister,Ibrahim Pantami chased her out of office with a Gun.
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“In one year, we don’t have an office. The office we got, given to us by NCC (Nigeria Communications Commission)…but we were actually driven away by the Honourable Minister of communications and Digital Economy, Mr Isa Pantami.
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“Within two days, they drove us out with guns and what happened? The place was given to us by NCC….
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The Chairman/CEO of Nigerians in Diaspora Commission, Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa and the Chairman, House Committee on Diaspora, Hon Tolulope Akande-Sadipe discussing issues relating to Nigerian Diasporans with John Carney DE, Lt Governor DE, and Mike Purzycki of the State of Delaware, USA. [Twitter/@nidcom_gov]
“You know we all help each other, NCC as an agency of government said there is a place you can use to settle in, and just as we settled in, I was in Ethiopia when I got a call. I thought that it was a joke.
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“I came back from Ethiopia on Thursday, this happened on Tuesday. By Friday, when I went to the office, guns, armed men had taken over the place. I thought it was a joke. But here is the thing, I’m a government employee, so is he. It’s government business,” Dabiri-Erewa said between laughs.
A dirty Twitter fight
Pantami would go on to call Dabiri-Erewa a liar. “This is a fat lie from her. The owner of the building @NgComCommission has faulted her lies on their social media platforms. The minister has never given that directives (sic) to any gunman. We need to be very objective in reporting. I have never sent any gunmen there, and I have no one,” he retorted.
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Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Dr. Isa Ali Ibrahim Pantami at the Annual Cyber Security Conference organised by the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) at the Transcorp Hilton Hotel, Abuja. [Twitter/@FMoCDENigeria]
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Responding, Dabiri-Erewa labelled Pantami a misogynist.
“An Islamic scholar should not lie, Hon Minister ( Phd). You did that to me because I am a woman. Your disrespect for women is legendary. Left the ugly incident behind me since February. But please release all our office equipment. Public office is transient,” Dabiri-Erewa wrote on Twitter.
For most of Sunday, May 24, Dabiri-Erewa was heavily criticized on social media platform Twitter, for calling out a fellow appointee of the President Buhari administration in public.
However, the former member of the House of Representatives said she had been left with no choice after exhausting all resolution channels.
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A letter from one govt appointee to the other
On May 15, Dabiri-Erewa wrote the following letter to Pantami:
15th May 2020.
The Hon. Minister of Communication & Digital Economy,
NCC Annex Office,
Mbora District,
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Abuja, FCT.
Dear Sir,
REQUEST FOR RETRIEVAL OF ITEMS CARTED AWAY AS A RESULT OF THE SEIZURE OF OUR OFFICES AT THE NCC ANNEX OFFICE, MBORA DISTRICT, ABUJA., BASED ON YOUR INSTRUCTIONS
The above subject refers please.
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Recall that the staff of the Nigerians in Diaspora Commission (NiDCOM) were denied access to the 5th floor of NCC Annex office at Mbora District, on Tuesday 11th February, 2020 on the instructions of Your office. This came after the occupation of the said floor by the staff of NIDCOM, based on NCC’s earlier directive which granted us access to use the entire 5th floor of the Building.
It was common knowledge that work had commenced in the building as a result of which various furniture and equipment were deployed for use in the building. It is gratifying to note that some of these furniture items were donated to NIDCOM by NCC., while several others were procured by Nidcom.
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Minister of Communications and Digital Economy, Dr. Isa Ali Ibrahim Pantami at the Annual Cyber Security Conference organised by the Nigerian Communications Commission (NCC) at the Transcorp Hilton Hotel, Abuja. [Twitter/@FMoCDENigeria]
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It is however sad to note that on the 14th February, 2020, the offices on the 5th floor were broken into without our knowledge and carted away properties belonging to the Commission and staff of the Nigerians in Diaspora Commission without our consent as well, purportedly on your further instructions.
I am therefore overly concerned about the current state of these properties of the Commission and that of its members of staff. Not only are there sensitive, private and public documents at the risk of being damaged or lost, but there are expensive and irreplaceable personal belongings of the staff of the Commission at large, with no assurance that they are properly stored.
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Therefore, I am kindly calling on your good office to provide us access to the whereabouts of our belongings so we can jointly take inventory and retrieve them in the soonest possible time, in order to enable us serve Nigeria and its Diaspora community all over the world.
Please, accept the assurances of my esteemed regards.
Yours sincerely,
Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa
Chairman / Chief Executive Officer.
—-
Pulse has been told that Pantami ignored Dabiri-Erewa’s letter and the concerns she raised therein.
One source tells Pulse that Dabiri-Erewa, who was appointed Chairperson of the diaspora commission by President Buhari on November 6, 2018 “has had no permanent office, no budget. But she has soldiered on.
“Some of her friends helped her secure an abandoned 4th floor complex within an annex of NCC. Her staff moved in and they managed to fix up the place. Mind you, they were still using their personal laptops, printers etc.
“Then Pantami came and saw them there. Instead of calmly approaching her and asking her to leave, he sent a letter to evict them. He gave them one week. Meanwhile, he was aware that she was in Addis Ababa with the president when he sent in the letter. 48 hours later, they were forcefully evicted and their properties confiscated,” the source who craved anonymity for this story, shared.
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Chairman/CEO Nigerians in Diaspora Commission (NIDCOM), Hon. Abike Dabiri-Erewa and Foreign Affairs Minister, Geoffrey Onyeama. [Twitter]
On why she didn’t take the matter to the relevant departments in the presidency or in the federal bureaucracy, the source said; “Abike wrote and explained to the Department of State Security (DSS), the Chief of Staff (the late Abba Kyari) and the Inspector General of Police (IGP) Mohammed Adamu. All of them refused to act because Pantami was Kyari’s boy.
“She did a detailed report on it, sent it to the former CoS who sat on it and frustrated all her attempts to at least get the minister to release their properties.”
One employee of NIDCOM tells Pulse that some of Dabiri-Erewa’s staff have been sitting on bare floors in a makeshift apartment in the last couple of weeks, to get work done.
“Madam has been begging around for another space. At the moment, she’s making do with one small, single room.
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Chairman/CEO of Nigerians in Diaspora Commission (NIDCOM), Mrs Abike Dabiri-Erewa and Francesco Panziga, ILO Consultant. [Twitter/@nidcom_gov]
“Some diaspora staff sit on the floor. As in, we sit on the floor with laptops. I have never sat on a chair of my own since I joined NIDCOM. I have my laptop on the staircase, which is where I work from.
“We have been going through all these while a whole floor is empty because Pantami wants it for himself. It’s frustrating,” the employee who pleaded that his name be left out of this story, shares.
On Sunday night, a relieved Dabiri-Erewa told a couple of friends that she had to speak up for posterity. “If I don’t speak, in the future, someone will ask why I kept quiet. I have never been one to suffer fools gladly,” she said.
In an angry text sent to a couple of friends afterwards and seen by Pulse, a fuming Dabiri-Erewa said: “The problem with everyone, including all of you here, is that we will rather sweep things under the carpet. Be quiet. Be afraid. Not me. I will always fight against injustice.
“Pantami or his choice can come and take over NIDCOM. I have come a long way. When we were going around shouting ‘Sai Buhari, Sai Baba,’ where was he?
“A dysfunctional society where we worship money and power, where merit does not count and where women are disrespected the way Pantami did to me, will remain retrogressive.
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Abike Dabiri with kids as Nigerians return from South Africa following xenophobic attacks (TheCable)
“I’m making no more comments on this. So the almighty Pantami could not call me, tell me he wants the office back, and we pack out appropriately? But he breaks offices, locks up all our items. Since Feb 11.”
Pulse has also been reliably informed that the president’s new Chief of Staff, Ibrahim Gambari, put a phone call across to Dabiri-Erewa shortly before midnight on Sunday, May 24, to see how he can address some of her concerns and help her secure a new office space.
“Sometimes, you have to shout to get things done in government. Dabiri-Erewa knew what she was doing when she went public. And now she’s got the government’s attention at the highest level,” one of our sources adds.
Abike Dabiri-Erewa ✔ @abikedabiri
An Islamic scholar should not lie Hon Minister .( Phd
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)You did that to me cos I am a woman .Your disrespect for women is legendary Left the ugly incident behind me since Feb. But pls release all our office eguipment.Public office is transient .@DrIsaPantami https://twitter.com/DrIsaPantami/status/1264573723031539712 … 3,041 6:03 PM – May 24, 2020 · Abuja, NigeriaTwitter Ads info and privacy 3,522 people are talking about this
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the-reactionist · 5 years
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Pls, Forgive ME
i know everythig is relevant; and as i put you into my perspective, i am somewhat diminishing your true potential; but i’m sorry; i need you, i am your prolem because you are here to really help humanity, practically; that is why i come at you, in hope at a time you need a person like me to work onto; and i hope we develop a relationship because i wanna be like you - this is more responsible and powerful than what i have see before; i am sifting all of my memories and the things i hold dear in my heart through your energy and teachings, and it really changes a lot - i see ways of bettering everythign <3 tahnkyou! that is why i am so selfish andbold; by no means do i believe i am ‘right’ about anything/everything <3 i beg you for your forgiveness; and i don’t mean to abuse your strength either; i like myself being weak, i need to emphasize that again; maybe that is a grand lessonyou need to/should/could learn as teacher/parent/human/person - i like my dying nature, i like to have a life an dthen go to rest in the earth in peace; i don’t mind the physicl pains - being fat after birth, being in pain through my period, getting ill if i go out i th ecold with wet hair and getting fever; i love being ill and close to death because i feel fully loved; my body is programmed to remember the joy and love of teh Universe whenever it repairs itself by itself when it has forced me to take a break from life’s hussle and just sleep/be i peace; this is beautiful, death is beautiful; it is not scary to be reborn and to depend on othr people; nto really; look at me - i survived, and before gettingint spirtual shit, i thrived, and my life was really very high vibe; but the only book i had read about spirituality was herman hesse;s siddhartha; and my innate nature tellsme taht was on purpose - i ahve a tietan master/lama within me, maybe past life stuff, idk - who  has come to udnerstand taht the joy nd beauty of existence is to endure hardships; and teh desire for death and non-existence is shameful in the sense only weak people commit it; strog peopelwho are in tune with the universe always find a way to prosper, evenin the most not-good situations;
so teh anger with aprents, teh law of attraction and many htings, if nto very healthy, if you could use my opinion;
see arranged marriages, for example - peoplegot wedded before most of the time out of pure ecessity to continue the line of the dna; and not bad matches occurred that way; it is nto healthy to seek for only certain things ad dismiss everythign else alog the way; taht is escapism;
teh truth is whe you are inlove with nature , humanity, existence and life, you can see beauty everywhere; and you dn’t actually need a specific one to procreate and feel good about yourself, because there are others who also deserve you, nd who are awesome as well; addictio to adrenaline is still an addiction; addiction to the thrill of perfect union and that savoury sense of bonding and passion that the warriors of old had - teh samurai, for example, is not something that ca be universal ad common, i believe; peopleneed peaace, nto only fighting all their lives; this si not helthya nd this stress lead to degeneration - look at spartan warriors - this is nothing, they did nothing much; they were just their time’s hollywood - soemthign unrealistic taht is told in tales nobody is interested in except for the people who want power over others;
i am sorry to say that you yourself have fallen in the power game the illuminati/americans play; genuine teachers abandon teir self; their ego, and just teach the masses; but not only the clean and wealthy masses - taht is escapismm; they teach ina frica,and in bangladesh, and in teh slums of macao.... because they wanna see the objective reality,a s much as tehy can;
so this is a thorn in you - why can’t you let go of power, why can’tyou be small, ahy can’t you be ungly, why can’t you be thom yorke [lzy eye/creep]; are you superior to us/otehrs? how, why do you wanna overn us without being one of us - see the movie the dreamers to get a perspectiveof deep compassion, expressed cinematically during the wartime i europe;
i am your teacher; i have went to psychiatries because fo spiritual teachers like you; i tell you this because you are seekign the truth nto only of your perspective, but of others’; i might have been a bad person,but i didn’t need to be knocked down off my feet in such a brutal way; teach people out of compassion for them - with love; see into their future reactions and create techigns that would enable you to be there a step further soa s to hold their hand whenever their need it, after you had seemingly kicked their back and abandoned themby themselves; or lure them passionately, secually to you so that you do the work for them yet they feel bliss and satisfaction, because you have desiged each lesso for them; im sorry to be that open but you’re not doing it right; studyold masters, study scared prostitution in china, study japanese culture; study buddhist teachings off the cannon -somethign non-biased, somethign that sprang into existence by sheer power of the universe’s love, somethign uncontrollable; like ikkyu sojun
somethig no ego would wanna hear;
im sorry but i am here to warn you/put into perspective for you you are making mistakes/ ad tht is affecting ME personally, through virtue of the intercnectedness of everything;
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i have my own black thorns too, but i eed to cofront people like you - you are the secongd spiritual teacher i do taht to, in order to heal them; maybe the problem is nto you, but me; i need to know; to the bottom; i feel anger and rage at beign controlled; so, please, bare that in mind; beign tricked is better - it’s more clever and i can let go people who trick me - i can’t let go people who control me, because their actions are bsed on fear, not selfishness;
your actons are based on ear, teal swan; be grunge, be ugly, be messy for a change; or you’ll be the hardcore bitch descended from heaven who wants us all dead because we’re not perfect enough; and i say that because i wanna partner with you and make it wso that your divinity stays with us, lower density people - i want you to be good etacher to us so taht we take all from you, by design; so open up fully; dont hold anythign back; i hope this message gets to you because it might trigger your flight because of fear of aloneness and pain;
youre gonna become even more magnificent if you let everythig that is unnecessery go; even people like me; let us go; let us make mistakes, even, if we need to; we can handle that; if not - figure out a way to lure us into not committing those sins/mistakes; but not demand; i can’t answer demands, only love-calls; and i ahve the right to have that strong ego ad self-assertiveness; you do, too; please, do!!!!
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