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farfromstrange · 1 year

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Useless | Matt Murdock x Reader

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: Mental illness can be a cruel bitch sometimes. Thankfully, Matt Murdock is patient and he always takes care of you, even when you try to shut him out.

Warnings: ANGST, emotional hurt/comfort, Mental Health Episode, allusions to self-harm and suicidal thoughts, post Season 3 (spoilers ahead), not proofread

A/n: to anyone following me, you already know why this is being posted. I wrote this while I was depressed. I hope it helps some of you. I won’t say any more because there’s no words to be said about this. It’s sad but there’s comfort in the end and some wisdom I’ve gathered. You’re welcome!

I’ve put whatever I have left to post into the queue. I’m going to bed now. I wanted to post this beforehand because I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished for the first time in a while. I’ll see you soon, but probably not tomorrow… like I said, baby steps. My profile’s been busy enough for today and me too, for that matter. Take care of yourselves and please, if you ever feel down, don’t hesitate to talk to someone!

He knocks three times. He has a key, so he doesn’t have to knock, but he does, and after that he even rings the doorbell, but you can’t bring yourself up to get off the cold bathroom floor.

“Sweetheart,” his gentle voice rings out. There’s a small thud, it sounds hollow and quieter than his insistent knocks just a moment ago. His forehead collides with the wood of the front door and the room falls silent. “I can hear your heartbeat, y’know, so I know you’re not dead, but it’s still distressing to not hear from you for days,” he says. “I’m gonna open the door now.”

He finds you in the bathtub, but there is no water and you’re still wearing your pajamas from two days ago. You’re dry, so you haven’t showered with your clothes on, and overall it seems as if you’re just using the bathtub as a makeshift bed rather than an attempt to cool yourself to death.

Matt sighs deeply. “You know how worried I was?”

Your mouth is dry, your head fuzzy and you can’t possibly speak with your throat this tight.

Control is a fragile concept. You might be in control of your life for one second, and then the next everything's falling apart. Your kind descends into a downward spiral and once you’re going down, breaking out seems like an impossible task to do.

It’s times like these where life feels like it’s just happening to you and you have to sit back and endure it. You physically can’t take the reins back, no matter how hard you try. You’re paralyzed. It’s your head that’s screaming for you to act, but all you can do is sit back and watch in horror as you drive yourself off the road.

“You’ve been shutting people out again, haven’t you?” He rhetorically asks. “Because when I asked your friends, they said they haven’t seen you in days either, they’ve just read your texts, and they were short and snappy and that’s not like you, baby. Or it is, but only when it’s getting bad again. I was afraid this might have happened, I just didn’t want to accept it until I couldn’t bear it anymore. I had to check up on you. Glad I followed my gut.” He says the last part under his breath, and the relief mixes with the worry in an expression that makes you want to throw up. It’s sickening how much he cares, and the world doesn’t deserve him the same way you feel like you don’t.

The truth passes right by you. All you can think about is what you keep telling yourself. You’re useless, worthless, a nuisance and everyone hates you, so you need to erase yourself from the narrative to make the world slow down and make everyone just shut up. Even now you want Matt to shut up because his voice is like the sound of a million needles dropping on the floor of a hollow room all at once.

The worst part is, you know you should feel guilty for caving in on yourself but you can’t feel anything but this nagging feeling of anger and frustration eating away at your heart. Even his voice makes your fists clench. At least the deafening quiet has kept your nerves from fading into nothing and triggering that toe-curling feeling of overstimulating that sits right at the top of your brain and makes every last muscle twitch in a way that causes anger to seep from your pores, he can smell it.

He can hear it in your heart and your breathing too, he knows you’re not okay, and he knows his constant questioning only makes the fire that is burning you alive worse. It’s been like this before and it will continue happening, he knows. He knows that and he accepts you with all of your flaws and all the problems you might have. He loves you, why should he leave you for something that’s not even your fault? You haven’t quite grasped the concept of his devotion for you yet, but he’s determined to prove it to you.

He kneels next to the bathtub, shedding his suit jacket along the way and placed his chin on his forearms as he leans forward. His glasses land on the floor and his smile is so lopsided, it makes you frown for a second. He’s trying his hardest to make you smile with the way his sightless brown eyes try to find yours, and his teeth glisten in the bathroom light as he grins at you.

“What is it this time?” He doesn’t question your behavior, he just wants to understand. He knows you better than anyone else, after all.

You let out a prolonged breath. Even his voice has you on edge, but you suppose it could be worse. He’s not as annoying as your own voice when you answer, “Life.”

You sound so drained, his features soften even more and he reaches out to brush the greasy hair out of your face. There is wine in your breath, his nose picks up on that instantly, and you desperately need a shower, but he doesn’t tell you that because he knows you already know that. He’d never judge you for it. He’s happy as long as you’re alive, the rest can be figured out at a later time.

“Are you drunk?” he asks.

“Lightly buzzed,” you say.

The alcohol was supposed to take the edge off, but it’s only made you more nervous.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Do you want to take a shower?”

“No. I need the world to be fucking quiet, that’s what I need.”

You flinch at your own tone, but he doesn’t seem fazed at your snappy nature. You swear it’s not personal. You would have apologized a million times if you hadn’t been so tired, and he really doesn’t seem to mind. He simply nods, acknowledging your wish.

“Okay,” he says. “Can I take you to bed then, at least? Your back probably hurts. How long have you been here?”

Your eyes flutter closed. “This morning,” you tell him.

He sighs wearily. “Of course, you have. Can I take you to bed, sweetheart, please? I’ll make sure you’re properly compressed so you won’t get triggered by new sensations, I promise, just… let me do this for you. The bathtub is no place to cry, you’ve told me that.”

You did, once.

And you couldn’t possibly protest, even if you tried. Your back does hurt and you’re more tired than usual. You haven’t required this much sleep in a while, but your mind and body are both exhausted and you feel as if you’re going to faint if you keep staring at the white bathroom tiles. Matt’s presence has knocked some sense back into you, bringing reality to the forefront, but the alcohol and shed tears keep your mind fuzzy to the point you’re not sure if you can feel your legs.

Matt senses your hesitation. Ever the caring boyfriend, he reaches his arms out to lift you out of the tub. “C’mon,” he says.

“Why aren’t you angry?” your voice cracks as you ask the dreaded question.

He has you up in his arms in an instant. “Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

His lips press to your temple, a silent answer as he carries you into your still-dark bedroom.

“Matt,” you try again, but he stops you.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” he says, wrapping your fragile body in blankets and mountains of pillows. “It’s okay to feel like shit sometimes, and if you need to shut people out to feel better, that’s okay too, just try telling them how you feel before you disappear or they might start thinking you hurt yourself.”

“I don’t do that anymore.”

He swallows hard at the emphasis. “I know, sweetheart, but it’s hard for the people who love you to differentiate.”

You pout, “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he shakes his head, “don’t say that. It’s not your fault. Here, scoot over.”

He takes off his shoes and the rest of his clothes until he’s left in his boxers. You do as you’re told and let him into bed with you.

“You want to cuddle or is that too much?” he asks.

Considering your skin feels hot and on fire while your flesh is freezing, your heart contracting in pure agony at even the thought of being touched, you shy away and shake your head, the tears finally starting to flow. He smells the salt in the air, mixing with the salt of your sweat.

You hide your face in the pillow. The sob that passes your lips sounds broken. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you admit. “Everything just… sucks.”

“I know. I’m so sorry, I wish I could help you.” He doesn’t touch you. He respects your boundaries.

You shiver, curling further into the pillows. His warmth is there, but his hands aren’t. Still, it’s enough to make your body vibrate with the heaviest sob you’ve let out in a while. He wants nothing more than to hug you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he sits by your side and lets you cry it out in the company of someone who understands how you feel because he has them too, the bad episodes, the times he just wants to shut everyone out and sleep in his bathtub. It’s because of that he isn’t angry or upset with you for doing what your mind thought to be right at the moment. He understands better than anyone else ever could, and it somehow makes the tears flow even faster and harder to the point you can’t help it anymore. You ignore the smoldering fire in your chest and curl around his arm; it’s all you can do without breaking apart, but you need him while not needing him, and a touch you can control is better than something forced on you. His pulse drums against your fingers resting around his wrist and it manages to calm your own in the process.

“I want a different brain,” you eventually choke out. “It’s not fair God gave me the messed up one. I don’t want it. I don’t want to be me. I just want to be someone else, just for today.”

The human psyche is treacherous and easily turns your entire mindset against you.

He sighs, reaching up to pat your hair. “I’m sorry,” it’s all he knows how to say. He’s sorry that you feel this way, that you feel guilty for being you, and that there is nothing he can say or do that would make the monster shut up.

His presence has to somehow suffice, telling you you’re not alone anymore and that you’re not the failure you make yourself out to be. He helps you heal while at the same time, he makes you better. You hate him for being so kind, for making you love him so deeply you can’t possibly hate him. It’s confusing, all of this, your heart and your feelings, but most importantly your thoughts.

The tears die down eventually, your tear ducts empty and your mind and body tired from screaming at each other. Your hold has tightened around his arm, your eyes squeezed shut and the occasional sobs are all that are left from the unplanned breakdown.

Matt still has his hand in your hair, brushing through it until your heartbeat has slowed and you can breathe again.

You feel obligated to apologize. “I’m sorry,” you say. Of course, he shuts you down.

“It’s not your fault,” he reminds you. “And I’m always going to be here to tell you that. I love you, sweetheart, and you’re worthy of my love. You’re worthy of all of my love. It’s okay to be depressed, it’s okay to take what you need and it’s more than okay to take a break.”

“Then why do I feel so useless? It’s been like this for a year now and I can’t… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Everyone reaches their breaking point eventually. I did, back when I was still living in the church basement. But I crawled my way back out of hell. You know how long it took me, so why put yourself down for taking your time now?”

He makes a valid point, which is infuriating. You whimper. “I hate that I love you so much.”

He chuckles. “Right now you do, tomorrow you won’t.”

“I know.” Your voice cracks again. “God, I’m so sorry. My head’s a mess.”

He leans over to kiss your hair again. “Well, thank God I’m here now to take care of you,” he says. “Tomorrow, I’ll clean up your apartment and make sure you eat something. You don’t have to shower if you don’t feel ready, but it might help. But we’ll see that tomorrow, okay? For now, I want you to rest. I’m right here if you need me.”

The sleep catches up with you shortly after he’s done talking, his hand scratching your scalp while he whispers Sweet nothings into the night, distracting you from the hellish thoughts your mind has conjured up for you. It’s just you and him, his voice a lullaby that you’ve grown accustomed to, and with Matt by your side, you finally fight your way into a dreamless sleep.

He’s your solace, your lifeline, your lifesaver, and he’s always there, even when you don’t ask him to. He’s the comfort you need, your common sense and the sun that lights up your darkest days. Without him, you’re sure you would have been lost, swallowed by the tide of severe mental illness and the cruelty that is life itself.

You love him and he loves you, the perfect pair, both damaged but so good to each other, the bad matters a little less when you’re together.

#matt murdock #tw: depressive episode #matt murdock x reader #gender neutral reader #daredevil #daredevil x reader #mental illness #reader insert #matt murdock angst #hurt/comfort #matt murdock fluff #it’s queue bitches

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starlightts-posts · 8 months

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YOUR WARRIOR | part 1

Neteyam x Li'ona!fem!reader

i have been trying to break my writing block for six months and managed to get this piece out of it

contains: brief mentions of scars/wounds, brutal murder of a fish, forced marriage, kind of enemies to lovers

and definitely has grammar errors, sorry for that

It was difficult. He was a na'vi hybrid, an exquisite combination of human and alien species, while you were the daughter of a pure-blood king. The possibility of a lasting relationship was low, nearly non-existent among your tribe, but that thrill ignited a dangerous spark neither of you could quench.

Neteyam was mesmerized by your beauty, by the elegance of your movements, by your firm posture, but mostly by your tangerine-colored eyes. Instead of the common golden gaze, yours had a tint of orange around the pupil. They held so much mystery and passion that Neteyam wanted to grasp and solve like it was some kind of a riddle. They held a bunch of secrets he was willing to discover. Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk’itan fell in love with the Li'ona princess who, unfortunately for him, was betrothed.

You were promised to a determined na'vi, a muscular warrior, whose reputation was apparently unhealthily pure. But tasun was raised alongside your older brother and shared some of his personality traits. He was stubborn, too cocky for his own good and disloyal when it came to relationships. There were seas of rumors about his awful behavior towards his past partners, especially towards your cousin. You strongly disliked that boy but you had to obey your mother.

Maybe that was why you felt connected to the omatikaya hybrid. Neither of you had the freedom you deserved. Both of you were forced to grow up at a very young age, to look after your younger siblings. everybody had high expectations you had to fulfill.

But in reality, you were just hopeless teenagers who wanted, no, needed to experience true love.

You narrowed your tangerine gaze at the swiftly moving target, tightened the grip you had on your whetted spear and pinched your bottom lip with the sharp tips of your fangs, precisely counting every loop the unaware school of fish had been making. After a minute of watching, you aligned your armed hand with the target and inhaled the scent of seaweed as your weapon striked the head of a fish with a splash.

Quickly leaping over the seawall terrace to get ahold of the spear, you battled the smug grin that threatened to spread across your pursed mouth and studied your catch with a burning glimmer in your eyes. When your fingertips were about to touch the handle of the weapon, several weirdly-shaped creatures casted heavy shadows on the unmoving surface of the clear sea and attracted the eyes of other fishermen as well, awaking curiosity and confusion in the Li'ona na'vi.

You collected your spear, along with the multiple breathless fish, and took your feet out of the seawall terrace you decided to clear out today, a woven net overflowing with your catches caressing your exposed lower back. You strapped the netting to your slim figure and created clicking noises with your tongue to call your ilu. The animal greeted you with an enthusiastic squeal and revealed its back to the rider. After you connected your queue to the sea creature, the group of skilled fishermen set off towards the sandy shore where the intruders had landed.

You emerged out of the resting sea with your peers and pushed some wet raven locks out of your eyes that glittered in the afternoon sun rays. You abandoned your ilu along with the woven net near a centralized ilu pen after you offered your recent catch to the bewildered animal and disconnected your queue from it.

"What happened?" your younger sister questioned the sudden cluster of your people after she surfaced beside you, tugging drenched strands of hair behind her pointed ear. You shrugged your shoulders with a shake of your head and approached the herd of Li'ona villagers with the naturally curious girl.

You swiftly dodged any arriving people, keeping your tail close to your calfs in case somebody didn't notice your presence and accidentally stepped on it as they did many times before. Untroubled, your sister walked through the cluster easily, each Li'ona moving out of her way towards the intruders.

You slided aside to avoid approaching muscular bodies and the Olo'eyktan, who was returning with his newly organized hunting party precisely on time. You appeared behind Tasun, your betrothed, and the eldest son of the chief, your brother, with folded arms across your rising chest as Maratu walked out of the herd, spear in hand.

"What is that?" Tasun gestured to the tail of the closest Omatikaya boy, making the victim of his following remarks to glance over his tense shoulder. Your betrothed stifled a chuckle as he pointed to the thin tail that was flicking from side to side. "Is that supposed to be a tail?"

You slapped the nape of his neck in disapproval and released a warning hiss below his ear, forcing it to turn downward as you pushed the two arrogant boys apart. Your brother swatted your hand away from his chest and poked your side in return, chuckling when you took a step forward with a growl.

Neteyam lowered his piercing amber eyes on your small turquoise form and caught your tangerine-colored gaze in the process. The target of the nasty remarks flickered by his side while his withdrawn ears twitched as you displayed your full beauty underneath the bright burning star. A shimmering spark of forbidden interest twinkled in both gazes and sealed the command of the Great Mother herself.

"We seek Uturu," Jake announced and received judgemental glares and exaggerated gasps from each direction. Maratu tilted his head slightly as his wife, Kirnat, emerged out of the humongous crowd with a scowl decorating her facial features. You were pulled backwards by Tasun when the pregnant woman began to circle the foreigners and were detached from the eldest son.

"We are half-reef people," Maratu mentioned the differences as he gestured to the desperate family, weak chuckle stroking his lips. "You are forest people. Your skills will be nothing but a waste, JakeSully."

Kirnat tugged at their thin tails and pointed out that they will not be capable of swimming in the water. She approached the oldest daughter of JakeSully and Neytiri with a huff and seized her wrists to inspect her unusual hands. "These children-" she lifted them up for everyone to see and displayed her five fingers with a silent growl, "-aren't even true Na'vi."

"Yes, we are!" Kiri snatched her hands out of the Tsahìk's grasp and pulled them to her heaving chest, tangling her fingers in the shawl she had on her shoulders. Tuk wrapped her arms around her leg to hide away from the intense stares and snuggled up against her thigh, making you sigh in defeat.

Neteyam tuned out the persuasion when you sneaked past your assigned lover and appeared on his left with flattened ears, his twitching at the sight. He allowed himself to marvel at your softening face that showcased concern and some kind of pity. He absorbed your wrinkled forehead and the unique shape your pigment patterns were creating in the middle of it along with your delicate facial structure.

"Gross," your brother pretended to gag beside his friend and quickly shielded his head when you faced him with a glare and clenched teeth. The boy received a slap on his shoulder from your cousin, Maru, who silenced his laughter with a stern tone.

You bowed to show your gratitude before your youngest brother could tackle your legs. Neteyam narrowed his eyes at the interaction as his father pleaded the Olo'eyktan and Tsahìk for a chance, stating that his family can adapt like he did many years ago. You picked up the whining little boy with an eye roll and let him fidget with your handmade necklace.

The eldest son of Toruk Makto noticed the tender caresses you left on your sibling's upper back to soothe his pounding heart and throbbing headache, swallowing the hums that were threatening to escape out of his mouth. He was flabbergasted by the relationship you had with the little boy and wondered if he was your younger brother. The urge to ask for your name was clawing at his dry throat and forced him to clear it as he dedicated his attention to his father and Maratu, missing the opportunity to catch you staring at his differently built body.

"Your arms are thin, your tails are weak," Kirnat wrapped her fingers around the youngest son's forearm to reveal his five-fingered hand and pulled it upwards, a hiss drumming against the walls of her throat. "They have demon blood!" The herd of her people took a couple steps back, mouths agape with disbelief.

Neteyam flinched when the pregnant woman poked his stiff shoulder and pushed some of his tightly braided hair forward to reveal a healed wound to the little boy that had been taking in his appearance in your arms. He pointed to the scar, which made Neteyam shiver. You followed his curious gaze and noticed the wound as well, scolding the boy for pointing at the Omatikaya. Neteyam covered the healed injury with his four-fingered hand and scooted closer to his younger brother, who had been devouring the beauty of the youngest daughter of the chief.

Maratu shared a look with his mate and tilted his head slightly to convince the woman without using his words. Kirnat stole a glance at the fleeing family and closed her eyes, battling her inner voices. Once they fluttered open, she nodded and gave her husband her consent. "Toruk Makto and his family will stay with us," he began to announce and buried the smooth end of his spear into the sandy shore. "They do not know the sea, they will be like babies taking their first breath. Teach them our ways, so they do not suffer the shame of being useless."

JakeSully encouraged the rest of the family to bow and mutter a quick thank you to the Li'ona leaders. Maratu accepted their politeness easily while his wife stifled a snicker and dissolved the cluster with a wave of her hand, motioning you to follow and return to the village with her. "My oldest son Ralu and youngest daughter Aneya, will teach yours the way of water," he clarified despite the protests of his son and silenced him with a glare. "Enough, ma 'itan. It is decided." [son]

By the imperfect posture of your mother you could tell she was against the idea of allowing armed strangers inside your village. you couldn't blame her. After the RDA attacked your former home, you refused to accept anyone who had the guts to travel beyond their territory, but here you were, trusting a title - Toruk Makto. the legend was well-respected in your tribe and beautifully captured in your songcords and celebrations, but would a true Toruk Makto seek Uturu among strangers? Run away from the threat?

Based on the stories your Ancestors provided you with, no. Toruk Makto would never flee, but a father would. JakeSully was also a father who cared deeply about his children and that was something a true warrior, a true legend would do - he would protect his most valuable treasure.

The thought of leaving your home, the people you love, behind just because humans are sickeningly greedy and unappreciative made you physically ill. And in some way, you had to go through that as well. So, after your father returned into your family marui pod and got scolded by his wife, he approached you with pleading eyes.

Your legs were dangling over the edge of the pod, ankles submerged. Various shoals of fish swam around your feet, trying to avoid colliding with them as your father took a seat beside you in silence. Your bioluminescent dots began to glow along with the underwater world you learned to appreciate and take care of.

Maratu exhaled heavily and placed his hand on your hunched back. You immediately straightened your posture but kept your exhausted gaze on the never-ending sea. "I know you aren't happy with my decision," he stated, figuring how you felt from your behavior during dinner. "And trust me when I say, I am not exactly happy either."

Your ears twitched at his confession which made him chuckle. "I know it will be hard to accept their presence and most people will take decades to do so." You turned to face your father, confusion flashing across your tangerine gaze. He grabbed your hand and placed it against his beating heart - an intimate gesture among your people, your father mostly used to show his seriousness and affection.

"What I am about to ask you may be selfish after what we had to go through, but you are the only one capable of doing what is right." His words scratched the back of your mind which awoke unpleasant memories. "I spoke to JakeSully.." you nodded and encouraged him to continue, "his oldest son Neteyam, I believe it was, was trained to be an Olo'eyktan-"

"What are you trying to say, dad?" you interrupted his speech as your fear of interacting with the Omatikaya boy kept growing. Maratu squeezed your hand and pursed his lips, giving away his request. "No," you snickered sarcastically and pulled your hand away from his tattooed chest, shaking your head in disbelief. "No, dad, that is- I am not-"

"I want you to become his personal trainer-" Before you could protest, he put his index finger on your lips. "He has great potential for a warrior and you will help him get there."

"But dad-"

"There isn't room for buts," he interjected harshly as he collected himself and stood up, silencing your upcoming grunts. "I do not want to hear it, daughter. You will help that boy out either way."

"Yes, sir.." you muttered angrily while your father walked back inside where a wave of joyful cheers and laughter of your younger siblings engulfed his tall figure.

You clenched your fists hard it made your knuckles white. You should have known. Your father never came to have a chit-chat with you, he always assigned you new chores, or ordered you to babysit your siblings.

What was so special about that Omatikaya anyway?

Was it his muscular body that seemed to be perfectly built for the sea and rainforest environment? Was it his pretty privilege? Was it his daddy's title? What the hell made him so suitable for the position you have been trying to get ahold of for years?

You had no clue and that made you furious. A frustrated growl crawled out of your throat before you plunged into the calm sea to clear your head. After you managed to swim far away from your marui pod and realized you were running out of air, you resurfaced at the edge of your resting village, fighting the urge to cough.

"Are you alright?"

Your bloodshot eyes scanned the shore for the source of that sickeningly soothing voice, finding nothing but pure darkness. A trail of tiny glowing dots started to move inside the rainforest your village was surrounded by from the other side. A lean, pretty tall figure emerged out of the woods, clutching a bow with a half-full quiver of arrows hanging on their shoulder. As they stepped out of the shadows into the bioluminescence, you noticed the bold dark-blue skin that was decorated with sharp and straight patterns.

You narrowed your eyes in an attempt to focus on their face, praying silently for any Sully besides Neteyam. But as they entered into the moonlight, you swallowed your prayers. Their tightly-braided hair was tied up in a high ponytail, revealing their defined face features. You traced their glowing dots, from left to right, and captured their golden gaze.

"Oh," you breathed out and cleared your throat as the Omatikaya boy approached you. "It is you.."

"You don't sound very pleased," Neteyam pointed out your disappointment and slung his bow over his free shoulder before he placed his hands on his hips. "You must be the other daughter then-"

You scoffed. "The other daughter?" Neteyam watched you walk out of the sleeping sea, seeing how offended you were by his words, and raised his brows in surprise. "You-"

You stomped towards the na'vi hybrid and poked his stiff shoulder, almost pushing his quiver off. "Do not," you warned and exposed your fangs in the process.

"My apologies." Neteyam withdrew his hands and took a step back to show some respect which you snickered at, not fully believing. "I did not mean to be disrespectful," he admitted and bowed to seal the truth.

The silence that fell upon you two was overflowing with tension and one-sided admiration. You were studying his unreadable facial expression while he was devouring your beauty.

His golden eyes traced every single droplet of sea water you had on your turquoise skin. Neteyam also tried to memorize the pattern of your bioluminescent freckles before you managed to turn away.

"Go back," you muttered over your shoulder as you started to walk back into the endless bowl of water, desperately searching for an escape from his curious gaze.

"Wait-" already ankles deep, you turned around with arched brows. Neteyam offered you a sweet smile, "Can you tell me your name?"

"You will know it soon enough, forest boy."

#avatar imagine #neteyam #avatar #neteyam imagine #avatar the way of water #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully

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space-mermaid-writing · 1 year

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Is this seat taken? [IronStrange]

Summary: “You know, when someone is asking you to watch their stuff, the one thing you shouldn't do is run off and abandon said stuff.“

Stephen looked at him over the edge of his book and raised a brow. He didn't even wonder how Stark knew. “Your stuff was perfectly safe.“

“Yeah, sure.“ Tony’s words dripped with sarcasm.

(Your regular coffee shop AU but they still have their powers)

Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Tags: Coffee Shop AU, different first meetings, they still have powers, fluff, strangers to lovers, bamf Stephen, Stephen keeps his magic a secret until the last second, a lot of banter, soft idiots falling in love

Ko-fi | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist | Word count: 6.6k

Author’s note: I started this last year, abandoned it and recently dug it out to finish it. Bon appetit.

Is this seat taken?

There was this small coffee shop in Greenwich Stephen liked. It was just right around the corner of the Sanctum and sometimes he went there to read and enjoy one of their brews.

The Sanctum was his home, but sometimes it was too quiet. Stephen was still a people person, even after all these years. He liked the buzz around him, like feeling the energy of life.

Like today.

Of course, it was rush hour and the shop was crowded. Stephen joined the queue and scanned the tables while waiting his turn. They were all occupied, but at some there was still at least an unoccupied seat.

There was a woman with a fidgety baby – no thanks. At the next table another young woman, clearly waiting for somebody. At the one in the corner sat some guy with a hoodie, base cap and sunglasses combination, working on a laptop. He looked kinda sketchy, but was probably the quietest of them all.

He ordered and waited at the side for his cup. With that in his hand, he went to Sketchy Guy. “Is this seat taken?“

He got a short glance in response, but it was enough to recognize the man. “Help yourself.“

Stephen didn’t reveal his discovery. He was here to read. And so he sat down and opened his book.

They sat in a comfortable silence until his table neighbor rolled back his shoulders and stretched his arms. “Gotta run somewhere quick. Can you keep an eye on my stuff?“

“Sure,“ Stephen hummed with the indifference one typically had toward strangers.

The other man gave him a quick, scrutinizing glance before taking off his sunglasses and placing them on the table. Then he went to the restrooms.

Stephen used the interruption to magically refill his drink. The rush hour had died down and the barista behind the counter had time to take a breath and refill the baked goods.

That actually wasn't such a bad idea, Stephen thought. His stomach could use some food. With a small flick of his fingers, he laid a protective spell over the table and then stood up to take a look at the cake of the day.

Refills were one thing but Stephen wouldn't be the reason that took the coffee shop out of business.

With a plate of apple pie he went back to his seat to continue reading.

Stark came back and put on his sunglasses again. Stephen hardly minded him. Until he heard a scoff.

“You know, when someone is asking you to watch their stuff, the one thing you shouldn't do is run off and abandon said stuff.“

The sorcerer looked at him over the edge of his book and raised a brow. He didn't even wonder how Stark knew. “Your stuff was perfectly safe.“

“Yeah, sure.“ His words dripped with sarcasm but for once Stephen didn‘t take the bait. He wasn‘t here to start an argument and – honestly – he simply didn‘t care enough about that man‘s opinion. So he kept his tongue silent, while Stark packed his belongings into a backpack and left.

At last Stephen had the table to himself.

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When Stephen entered the coffee shop two weeks later, it again was rush hour. He should really keep a tab on time, but after three exorcisms in one week he deserved a break. Unfortunately a lot of people seemed to think the same.

Scanning the crowd while waiting for his drink he weighed his options.

There was a free seat next to someone on their phone. Distracting.

Two teenagers. Nobody wanted to sit with teenagers.

And then there was… well, at least this was going to be entertaining.

Stephen took his cup to the table in the corner. “Is this seat taken?“

“Help your-…“ Brown eyes met blue ones. “…nope, absolutely not. Liars don’t get a seat at this table.” He was apparently quite petty and still didn’t take their last meeting well. Stephen didn't let it bother him and sat down anyway.

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" Stark asked. He was wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap indoors again, as if that would suddenly make him unrecognizable. The glasses weren't even fully tinted.

“I did. The thing is, I’m not a liar, Stark.”

Stark leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. If he was upset that his ridiculous attempt to remain incognito had failed, he didn't let it show. Or perhaps his annoyance at Stephen's presence simply outweighed it. "Is this some kind of practical joke? Did someone from the team set you up to annoy me?"

Stephen opened his book and flipped through until he found the right page. “You don’t have a lot of faith in your team.”

“What’s your deal then? Is this for your youtube channel? Any hidden cameras?”

“I just want to read in peace and enjoy my coffee.” Demonstratively, Stephen pointed to his book.

Stark was not very convinced. “I’m keeping my eye on you.”

“I’m flattered.”

Silence spread as the two men went about their work. But Stephen could not concentrate, he was hyper aware of his surroundings. It might have been because he was running on too much coffee and too little sleep. Or maybe the last demon he had exorcized had cursed him after all, before the sorcerer had managed to banish him back to his own dimension.

After a few minutes of reading the same paragraph over and over without really taking in what it said, he rubbed his forehead – and caught Stark's gaze, who was indeed watching him as announced.

"Okay, I'm curious," Stephen said, "if you're that paranoid, why ask a stranger to watch your stuff in the first place?"

"Statistically speaking, someone is less likely to steal if you give them the task of watching."

“So, you asked me because you didn’t want me to steal your stuff.” He huffed a laugh. “I’m not interested in your technology.”

Tony raised a brow. “You sure? I saw your phone last time. It’s the most ancient thing I’ve seen this century and you could really use an update. Not that you would have gone far with the stolen stuff.”

“I’m offended how little you think of my abilities of thievery.” Stephen wasn’t offended. He was amused. This conversation was way more interesting than his book. Yeah, he really needed a good, solid 20 hours of sleep. Maybe more.

Stark was about to retort something – Stephen's words only reinforced Stark's sour mood – when his phone made an alarming beeping noise, interrupting the two men. The engineer sighed and put on his sunglasses.

“Is it really this important, Fri?”, he asked no one specific in the room. Then, “Fine, I’m on my way.”

Stark turned his face to Stephen. “You’re lucky I gotta go. Someone is attacking the city hall using ice blasts.”

The corners of Stephen's mouth twitched up. “Do you need someone to watch your stuff while you’re gone?”

Stark was still wearing the glasses so Stephen couldn’t see the roll of his eyes, when he collected his laptop and left with a muttered, “Asshole.”

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It was 2 am when Stephen entered the coffee shop. Surprisingly he wasn’t the only patron at this ungodly hour. There were two students at a table in the back with various books and notes clattered in front of them, fueling on more caffeine than was healthy for them. With a small smile, Stephen recalled his days in medical school and later as a resident. It had been good times. Sometimes he felt that even back then he got more sleep than he did now as the Sorcerer Supreme.

The late opening hours of the coffee shop were among the reasons why he loved it. With a book and a cup of tea, he sat down at a table by the window. Despite the late hour, he wasn't tired, but there was an eerie mood in the air and he kept his third eye open – masked by a simple glamour – just in case.

The door of the coffee shop opened with a soft ring and a few minutes later a shadow fell on the sorcerer. He looked up and spotted Tony Stark, wearing his sunglasses and base cap as usual, even though it was the middle of the night.

“Three times’ the charm, I heard.” He looked tired, had dark circles under his eyes and a cup of coffee in his hand.

“Apparently,” Stephen replied.

Stark waited a moment, but Stephen didn't offer anything else. He sat down anyway, although enough other tables were unoccupied. Tonight he was not looking for privacy, but distraction.

Stephen seemed to notice that, because he pushed his book away, turning his attention to the other man instead.“How did it go the other day? The City Hall is still standing, so I guess you were successful.”

“Yeah. We got her before she turned it into a winter wonderland. She is currently under investigation with those powers.” Stark sipped his coffee. He was careful just to share information that made the news anyway, not sure how much he trusted this man in the coffee shop he seemed to meet quite regularly. He side-eyed Stephen. “So, you’re always sitting here with your books. Are you secretly the owner of this coffee shop, who likes to go undercover and talk to people? You know, like offering them life lessons.”

Stephen chuckled. “I can barely afford a beverage here every now and then. I definitely don’t have enough money to open a shop and keep it running.”

“What’s your deal then? What language is this even?” Curiously, Stark peered into his book.

“Sanskrit.”

“Gesundheit.”

“I read it for work.”

“Must be either an exciting field of work or an extremely boring one.”

“I find it quite interesting.”

There was a pause, before Tony said, “Don’t tell me all the details at once.” For the fact that this man could drive him up the wall with ease, he was quite secretive about his own person.

There was a small smirk on Stephen’s lips. “I will tell them, if you spill yours.”

Stark mirrored the smirk. “Touche.” He was sure that between the two of them he held the more delicate secrets with the Avengers and Shield, but he understood the sentiment. “Are you a librarian?” he asked anyway, because he was intrigued by this man who wasn’t intimidated by his name and face.

“No, that would be Wong,” Stephen said. “My work is more on the practical side.”

Stark had lots of follow-up questions. “What is the practical side of a librarian? Are you secretly going on adventures to retrieve long lost artifacts? What is this book even about? And what’s a Wong?”

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” They were interrupted by a barista, who stepped to their table and looked apologetic. “We would like to close.”

The men looked up in surprise. The students had disappeared and the barista had put the chairs up on every other table but theirs. They were the last patrons.

"Yes. Yes, of course." Stark got to his feet and reached for his jacket. Stephen followed him. “Sorry for making you work overtime.”

The barista politely waved it off, his voice full on customer service. “It’s fine, really. It’s just…”

“You want to go home and sleep. We get it.” Tony made sure to add an extra tip in the jar for their trouble.

No sooner than they stepped outside the door the sign on the window behind them was flipped to 'CLOSED'. The morning shift would arrive in a few hours, but until then the two men were without a place to pass the time.

Stark turned his head to Stephen. “Need a ride home?”

“I live only a few blocks away.”

“I’ll walk you. The streets can be dangerous.” And with that he started moving in the direction Stephen had pointed. The sorcerer followed him. He didn't mind Stark's company, it was nice. So was the silence in which they walked.

It might have been the late hour, but neither of them felt the need to continue their previous conversation or to start a new one.

It took them only a few minutes to reach the doors of the Sanctum.

Stark eyed the old building. "I don't know what I was expecting, but it fits with your weird books."

Instead of being offended by this, Stephen followed Stark's gaze and tried to see the Sanctum through the eyes of a stranger. To him, it was the epitome of home. He had never felt as much at ease anywhere as he did here. Even the expensive penthouse apartment he had lived in when he was a neurosurgeon didn't come close. Maybe his parents' farm when he was a little boy. But not even that anymore, since Donna left.

The building might be old, but it was reliable. It was a safe haven. And only those who needed it could see it.

He turned his head back to Stark.

“Why did you visit the coffee shop in the middle of the night?”

The inventor tilted his head, not questioning this weird change of topic. “Call it the side effects of my line of work.”

And didn’t Stephen understand that way too well? It was the same for him. He walked up the steps to the door.

“Hey,” Stark stopped him. “You never told me your name. I call you Annoying Coffee Guy in my head but, you know, a name would be nice.”

“It’s Stephen. Doctor Stephen Strange.”

Tony raised his eyebrows. He couldn’t help it, it sounded kinda made up. But whatever. “Nice to meet you, Stranger.”

Stephen rolled his eyes, but his smirk betrayed him. Behind him, the Sanctum door opened on its own. "Goodnight, Tony." He stepped into the dark interior and behind him the door closed again.

If Tony smiled on the whole way back to his car then, well, wasn’t that anybody’s business but his own.

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“So, your doctor title isn’t in some weird linguistic field but you’re an actual doctor.” Tony didn’t even pretend to look for a different table, before he sat down.

Stephen looked up, hiding the fact that he was pleased about it. “You googled me,” he said instead.

“I bet you did the same after realizing who I was.”

Stephen did a thing with his eyebrow, like Tony just said something really dumb. “I didn’t need to google you. Everybody knows who Tony Stark is.” He has the courtesy to keep his voice low enough for others not to listen in on that part. “It’s hard to ignore when your face is plastering the news every few weeks.”

“Well, what can I say? The press loves me.” Tony’s smile twisted into something more professional he used in interviews. “Don’t believe everything they say, though. That story with the Bengal tiger was definitely exaggerated.”

Now Stephen raised one of his eyebrows and Tony wondered how it was possible for a man to be this expressive with these?

“I will keep it in mind.” It was Stephen’s only comment on the matter, before he turned back to his book. It was a sign for Tony to pull his laptop out and start working.

There was a comfortable silence between them. The coffee shop around them was in full swing and Tony liked having background noises.

He was absorbed in his work until a voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Excuse me. I don’t mean to bother you. I just wanted to thank you for the help you do around here.”

Tony knew the game. Despite his – admittedly poor – disguise of 'just add a base cap', he was often approached by people. And it was fine. He always tried to make time, even if it was just for a minute. He switched to his PR smile he wore like a second skin and flashed it to the person (an older woman, apparently another patron) – and he was just about to open his mouth when he noticed that the older lady was actually talking to Doctor Strange.

Bewildered, he needed a second to close his mouth. That was a new one.

Stephen smiled politely at the women. “Of course. I’m happy to help.” He eyes wandered briefly to Tony, he had definitely noticed his misapprehension and it seemed to amuse him.

“My granddaughter was one of the kids with… bad teeth.” The lady paused for a moment as if to add something else, but then didn’t.

Tony thought it was weird, but Stephen didn’t bat an eye.

“Are the new teeth working well?”

“Yes, very.”

The doctor nodded, satisfied. “I’m glad I could help and that your granddaughter feels better. I’m making sure the tooth fairy will leave her alone in the future.”

The older lady smiled and left to get back to her own table.

Tony looked at Strange. “I didn’t know you were also a dentist.”

Stephen was not. But explaining that he had fought a tooth fairy gone rogue would be too soon in their… whatever they had going on.

So instead, he deflected.

“You first thought she was talking to you,” he stated, still amused about the fact.

“Well, naturally. No one told me, you are some local doctor hero.” He emphasized the word mockingly, but his words were genuine.

“It’s complicated,” Stephen said cautiously. “It hasn’t been the same since…” He trailed off, looking at his slightly trembling hands. After all this time it still wasn’t easy for him to talk about it.

“The accident?” Tony helped out and Stephen nodded. Of course Tony found the articles from it when he did his research. It was one of the first things that came up in google when you put in his name. Stephen wondered if that would still be the case if he hadn’t completely disappeared afterwards. Maybe if he had started working as a consultant or continued as a researcher, it would be different.

“Some scars never truly heal, I guess.” Tony’s words interrupted his trails of thought. The engineer put his fingers on his own chest, where the arc reactor had been for many years.

Their eyes met and there was a certain understanding between them. They were both middle aged men, both with their own demons and trauma.

“Do you like what you’re doing now?” Tony asked and Stephen nodded.

“I can’t imagine doing anything else.” And he meant it. “What about you? Being Iron Man can’t be easy.”

“Oh, I tried to live another life. To do something else. Didn’t work out. I come as a package deal.” Tony’s breakup with Pepper had been all over the news when it happened. They had broken up and he made her CEO. One of the best decisions of his life, even if it had been heartbreaking. But they worked better as friends. A lesson he learned the hard way.

Tony didn’t know why he added that last sentence. Or maybe he did, but he wasn’t ready to face that reason yet.

“I figured.” Stephen wanted to say more, but at that moment his phone rang. Since there were basically only two people who had his number, he glanced at the display (it didn't even have a touch screen, Tony noticed in dread. It really belonged in a museum).

"It's work," Stephen apologized and stepped away for a moment.

Tony emptied his coffee. His eyes fell back on his laptop, which still had his latest project open. He saved the progress and turned it off.

“Sorry, that was Wong,” Stephen said, coming back. “There was an incident at work. I have to go.”

“I’ll walk you.”

For a second it looked like Stephen was going to refuse, but then he nodded and they both packed up their things. It wasn't far to the Sanctum and he wouldn't lose much time walking instead of opening a portal in the next back alley.

He had told Tony that he lived and worked in the same building. So the engineer was not surprised when he took that direction. They walked most of the way in silence, each preoccupied with their own thoughts.

Only when they were almost at the Sanctum did Tony speak up again. “So, Wong, the librarian, is your co-worker.”

“And friend,” Stephen added fondly.

Tony turned his face to him. “Are you two… like a thing?”

“What? Wong? No!” The sorcerer chuckled. “That would be weird. No, I’m not seeing anyone.” He met Tony’s eyes, amused, but there was also the inevitable counter question. "What about you?"

They had arrived in front of the Sanctum and stopped. Although Wong's call had been urgent, Stephen lingered, not wanting to leave the company of the engineer yet. Standing in front of him, the difference in size between them was much more present than when sitting at the table. It was endearing to watch Tony look up to him, while he took a step closer to him.

“I’m seeing someone right now.”

“Yeah? Is he any good?” Stephen asked huskily.

“I guess there’s only one way to find out.” The air grew thick around them. They were definitely having a moment, Tony felt it – and then they were interrupted by the ringing of a bicyclist who sped past them way too close.

"Hey!" Tony jumped back, but managed to stay on his feet without stumbling. Stephen had sidestepped into the other way and looked equally surprised.

“Jeez, kids these days. You okay?” Tony asked.

“Yeah.” Stephen did a subtle gesture. The cyclist wouldn’t get far with a now flat tire. The sorcerer was not petty at all.

He looked at Stark, who shrugged his shoulders. “I guess work is waiting for you.”

“I guess.” Stephen was unwilling to have their moment ruined by a random bicyclist and he walked back up into Tony’s personal space. “I was wondering if you would like to–“

“Yes.”

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.” Stephen raised an eyebrow.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m in,” Tony replied breathlessly. His eyes darted between Stephen’s eyes and his lips. “Also, I’d really like to kiss you. Wanted for a while actually.”

The sorcerer smiled. His trembling hand came to rest on Tony’s cheek, holding him gently, before kissing him. Tony closed his eyes, leaning more into it.

Unfortunately, it had to remain a short kiss, a soft promise for the next time they would see each other. Stephen wished they had more time, but duty called. His fingers brushed over Tony’s skin when they broke away from each other.

There was just one more thing he had to do, before he left. Because Tony deserved the truth.

“I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Tony knitted his brows. This sentence after a first kiss usually came with nothing good. He braced himself for being told that Stephen was still in a complicated relationship, maybe even married. Or terminal ill. None of these options were appealing.

And Stephen probably could have found better words. But he was distracted by Tony, by his closeness, by the kiss, his scent, his brown doe eyes and their dark lashes. He may be the Sorcerer Supreme but he was also just a man. Which was why he blurted out, “I can do magic.”

Tony laughed, relieved, and to Stephen it was the most beautiful sound on Earth. “I’m sure you can. But wait for it for an actual date, alright, magic man?”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m looking forward to a demonstration.” Tony nipped Stephen’s lips, partly because they looked delicious and partly to shut him up.

Behind them the Sanctum’s door opened. Stephen really had to go.

“I’ll see you soon.”

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Wong was not amused that Stephen had taken his time to arrive and Stephen felt a bit guilty because it turned out to be an actual emergency.

Despite everything he was a responsible human being. And therefore he sent a text message to Tony (he had no idea how or when the engineer had managed to save his number into Stephen’s phone) before he disappeared from this dimension for some time.

S: “Hell broke loose. Won’t be in the city for a few days. Text you when I’m back.”

T: “Do your worst, magic man.”

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Stephen was gone for a week. It felt even longer in the dimension, which Mephisto had invaded and which he and Wong defended.

Time worked weird like that.

When he returned home, he fell face first on his bed and slept for 30 hours straight. Afterwards he felt recovered enough to contact Tony and invited him for a date. He was aware that he had to clear it to the engineer what his actual job was.

Tony would understand, he was sure.

Stephen needed three tries to magick a good enough outfit. The first was way too formal, the second too casual. He settled for dark pants, a grey sweater that shows off his arms in just the right way, and a red scarf that is the Cloak of Levitation in disguise. The sorcerer knew if he tried to leave the cloak at home, he would just follow him like a lost puppy anyway.

The restaurant they agreed to meet was in midtown. Tony arrived first and stood up when Stephen entered the room. The engineer rocked a classic black and white combo and looked incredibly handsome. Before today Stephen had only seen him in hoodies to blend in, but today Tony had made sure to impress his date.

They sat at a table at the window.

“Good to see that hell spat you out in one piece,” Tony joked and Stephen froze for a moment, thinking what Tony knew. But then he remembered the text message he had written to the engineer, before he left.

“You have no idea.”

They ordered and toasted when their drinks arrived.

“About what I said the other night,” Stephen started. “About magic.”

“Ah yes, I’ve never dated a magician. What party trick can you do?”

“It’s no party trick,” the sorcerer scoffed. He couldn’t blame Tony for not being serious but it bothered him anyway.

Fortunately, Tony relented. “Of course not, sorry.” He gestured for Stephen to continue.

“I think you have the wrong idea of wha-…” A big shadow approached the window they were sitting at, growing larger and larger. Stephen reacted on instinct when a car that had been flung across the road crashed into the window. Glass shattered and people screamed in shock. Green glowing lines appeared, covering the car and the shards, before someone got actually injured.

Stephen stood on his feet, the eye of Agamotto on his chest on full display and open.

Tony stared at him – as did all the other guests.

“What the fuck?!”

Stephen turned his face to him. His brows were drawn together in annoyance at the interruption and because there were clearly dark forces responsible for this, but his eyes were sorry.

"As I was saying… magic."

He moved his fingers and turned time back. The window repaired itself, the shards reassembled into a solid surface, and the car flew back. Stephen didn't return it the whole way back, but dropped it halfway in the street – like it had been picked up from midair. Until he knew who or what had thrown it, he didn't want to risk it coming hurtling right back in his direction again.

Tony, in the meantime, had also jumped to his feet. “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

“To my defense, I told you about the magic. It’s not my fault you didn’t believe me before.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault then?”

Stephen did not answer, his gaze was directed outside. Cars didn't just fly through the air. He noticed that the asphalt of the street was moving almost like something was pushing from underneath.

"I'll be back in a minute."

He took a step toward the window and the red scarf around his neck changed back into the cloak, which settled around his shoulder. At the same time his carefully put together outfit changed into his blue robes. With the second step he suddenly stood on the other side of the glass.

The cloak took him into the air so that he could get an overview of the situation. There was a crack in the asphalt that was spreading further and further, stretching along the entire road and causing chaos in the traffic.

That wasn’t good.

Tony jogged out of the restaurant, using the door, you know, like a normal human being.

“Hey! You don’t get to leave mid-argument! God, now I know how Pepper felt all those years. Are you actually wearing a cape?”

“It’s a cloak.” Stephen landed beside him. “Can this conversation wait until we figured out what’s happening here?”

“Fine,” grumbled Tony, not at all happy about giving in. “But only because this looks really bad.” He touched the house unit on his chest and the nanosuit bled over his body. He followed Stephen, who moved back into the air

“Friday says it’s all over the city, centered in Crotona Park in the north. Seems almost like something tries to break through.” Crotona Park was about eight miles away. Child’s play for his suit’s speed. “Can your magic keep up?”

Stephen smirked and opened a portal. “Can your tech?”

Oh, it was on! Tony hated the magic man. He wanted to kiss his stupid face.

He hesitated only slightly before he followed through the portal. It helped that Stephen had stepped in first and that Tony could actually see the other side. There wasn’t a black void. So he told himself it was fine. And it kinda was.

There’s even more chaos in the park. The earth was broken up, vaulted and something like lava leaked out. Some trees were on fire and there was smoke. It looked like Armageddon or the Judgment Day.

“Remember when I told you I wasn’t in town because hell broke loose?” Stephen had moved up next to him and Tony opened his face plate.

“Please don’t tell me…”

“They did the same in the twenty-third dimension. They are probably here because they are not happy I stopped them.”

Tony wondered briefly who ‘they’ were but anything related to literal hell couldn’t be nice. “Well, can you stop them again?”

“Yes, but you need to evacuate the park.”

“On it. Backup is on the way.” Friday had told him on screen that the team had already been notified, suited up and would hopefully arrive any second now.

Stephen dived right into… whatever it was he was doing. His fingers and arms moved in intricate gestures and gold glowing mandalas appeared, sealing the cracks and extinguishing the fire. The sorcerer was clearly in his element here.

Tony watched the man in awe before the readouts on his screen reminded him, he better got to work too. He set about getting the people out of the park.

Stephen did his best to prevent Mephisto from breaking into this dimension. He repaired crack after crack and fought back the attacks.

Wong appeared at his side. Alarmed by demons knocking in the city’s wards, he helped it to contain hell. He whirled around and cast his spells at every dark aura he noticed.

A smaller demon slipped out of a crater that had formed and jumped onto the armor of Tony, who had the misfortune of being closest to him. Wong created Crimson Bands of Cyttorak to catch it and hurl it back to where it had come from. Tony spun around and returned the favor by blowing away another demon that had just crawled out.

Stephen appeared from somewhere. “Tony, that’s Wong. Wong, Tony.”

Tony opened his face plate just to show his bewildered and very pretty face. "...what kind of ninja monk library do you guys operate?"

Because those robes, the acrobatic Moves of the librarian, and their glittering powers were pretty much the exact opposite of the ancient books and weird building Tony had associated with Strange. He was missing something and he didn’t like that feeling.

Any response was interrupted by the arrival of the Avengers, who were now checking in with Tony via comm. He gave them a rough summary of the situation, though he wasn't quite sure of it himself yet. But the words of the magic man had been clear and for now Tony decided to stick to them, because Strange clearly had more of an idea what was going on.

He joined the Avengers in getting the civilians off the battlefield, but let Friday keep an eye on the mages.

“How do we stop this? Nothing we do has any effects on it.” Rhodey asked his friend, as they tried to eliminate more demons with gunfire side by side. Unsuccessfully.

"They are Mephisto's creatures. Non-magical weapons are useless against them." It was Stephen who answered him and Rhodey turned to him, his brows drawn together, at this sudden and unexpected interference of this private conversation. “Excuse me, who are you?”

Tony sighed. “Rhodey bear, this is Stephen.”

“That’s Coffee Guy Stephen?” Rhodey asked skeptically. “He is the exact opposite of what you told m-…”

He was interrupted when a huge red hand erupted from the ground between them. Immediately, Stephen created a spell to hold the king of hell back. Wong rushed to his aid, but even together it was only a temporary solution.

They needed something stronger, Stephen realized.

This date was not going at all as planned. It was probably the worst date ever – without being too dramatic.

“I’m gonna end this nonsense once for all.” With these words, his cloak carried him high into the air.

Tony and Rhodey had been closest to the red hand and had been thrown back as it broke through the ground. Fortunately, their suits had caught them before they hit anything.

“What is he going to do?” Tony asked.

“Probably something extremely stupid,” Wong grunted, struggling to hold that spell on his own.

“I take it back,” Rhodey said to his best friend. “He is exactly your type.”

Stephen hovered over the battlefield. It looked bad. Not only had the ground turned into a crater field, more and more creatures from hell were slipping through the cracks.

With determined gestures he pulled powers from other dimensions, gathering them in his hands. He needed enough to shove back a force as great as Mephisto, the King of Hell, and to seal the tears between their worlds. In other words: he needed a lot.

He didn’t go for complicated spells or a finesse technique. He went for raw power and determination. His fingers drew golden light from the air that filled his body. The screams of the people decreased for him and he no longer heard the crackling of the asphalt tearing apart. His ears were filled with a white noise of static, almost like electricity.

Stephen closed his eyes and concentrated on this feeling, centering it inside him.

When he opened his eyes again, they glowed faintly, and he shot a giant beam of magic to those arms that tried to crawl onto Earth.

The red arms twitched, the clawed hands tried to grab hold, but had to retreat eventually. They moved back until they were gone.

Stephen took a breath and put his palms together. "I need your help for this, friend," he whispered to his cloak. Then he shot down to earth, gathering the last bit of energy he could muster between his hands. Only just before the center of the torn rifts did he slow down a bit, but his impact on the ground could still be heard loudly.

The sorcerer poured magic like water into it. Golden light shot along the cracks, stitching them back together until they were gone.

As the crater beneath Stephen repaired , he was thrown backward by the force of magic. His loyal cloak caught him midair, because the sorcerer had no more energy to do it himself.

He definitely overdid it. He hadn’t been to full capacity anyway after last week and now he was drained even further. But it was fine. Mephisto wouldn’t get his hands on Earth today.

The cloak descended Stephen slowly. His eyes were still faintly glowing, an after effect from summoning these immense powers. His feet touched the ground and he stumbled as his knees buckled. The cloak immediately helped him by carrying his weight.

Tony was the first to approach him, jogging up to him “Holy shit, Strange. That was… incredible. Hey? Are you alright?”

“’m sorry,” Stephen mumbles. “I should have… I didn’t mean you to find it out like this.” He wanted to reach for Tony, when he noticed the strong trembling of his hands and retreated. They were even worse than usual and wouldn’t be of any use in the next few days.

“It’s fine.” Tony hugged him anyway, his suit retreating into the house unit on his chest.

It was not the right place nor the right time for the talk they definitely had to do. The streets were back in one piece but there was still chaos:cars were turned on their roofs or even stacked in piles, people were still in panic. The sirens of various ambulances were on full blast.

The Avengers did their best to start the clean up but also glanced at the sorcerer curiously. Wong was probably on his way to capture the demons that managed to escape.

Tony’s hug was tight and Stephen inhaled the scent of shampoo, sweat and smoke. He tried to hug back, but it felt awkward with just using his arms. His hands hung useless.

“I’m fine,” he repeated. “Just need some sleep.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

They met up a few days later when Stephen was back on his feet.

The sorcerer was grateful the other man had taken care of the cleanup and the press after the fight, so he and Wong could return to the Sanctum.

That was also where they were sitting now: in one of its cozy rooms with a fireplace. Stephen had made coffee for them both and his cup hovered in the air beside him. His hands were bandaged and still hurt, though less badly than right after the fight.

“You should join the Avengers.” It was the first thing Tony said after Stephen explained his magic abilities to him.

“No.”

“No?”

“Look,” Stephen sighted, because he had dreaded this conversation. “I appreciate you asking but we – the order of the Mystic Arts – are trying to be subtle. We operate in the background.”

His hands had healed enough to use magic and with a motion of his finger he guided the cup to his mouth.

Tony raised his eyebrows. “Okay, first off: what you did there in the park was anything but subtle.”

And didn’t Stephen know that. He was glad that Wong had backed him up when the elders had voiced their dissatisfaction about the incident.

“Secondly, so you’re telling me, you’re not only secretly a wizard, but also in a cult?”

“It’s not a cult,” Stephen said automatically.

“Uh-hu. A secret society with old ass looking robes? Definitely a cult. I hope you’re at least allowed to date or I will have a word with your cult leader.”

That made Stephen perk up. After everything that had happened Tony still considered dating him? That was more than he had hoped for.

“Well, technically,” he drawled and Tony braced himself for whatever Stephen would throw next at him. He couldn’t be sure with these wizards. “… I am their leader.”

Tony cracked a smile and laughed. Because of course he was. Everything with this magic man has been fucking strange so far and Tony loved every minute of it.

#IronStrange #Tony Stark / Stephen Strange #Tony Stark x Stephen Strange #Tony Stark / Doctor Strange #Tony Stark x Doctor Strange #SpaceMermaid #spacemermaid writing #marvel #strangeiron #mcu #coffee shop au #is this seat taken

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albertasunrise · 1 year

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Only You - Why Him?

Masterlist

Summary: Having spent most of your life in relationships that went nowhere. You struggled to trust that this man… this ray of sunshine… wouldn’t leave you eventually. (18+)

Relationships: Reader x Ben Miller

Warnings:Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So was gonna get this up tomorrow but decided to drop it today instead 🙈)

Series Masterlist - Part 1

“He what?!” Ben expelled, his volume taking you by surprise.

“He proposed!” You repeated, trying to keep your voice steady as you spoke.

“And you said yes?” He pushed, heart, beating so hard he was sure you could hear it.

“Yes, Benny… I said yes!” You growled, growing frustrated at his line of questions.

“But why?”

“Because he loves me and I love him.”

“But the prick cheated on you!” Ben snapped and you flinched, your mind momentarily being dragged back to the moment you’d discovered Mike kissing another woman.

“We talked about that.” You scoffed “She was a friend… She’d gotten into his head about us.”

“Us?”

“You and me.” You elaborated “She’d planted doubts in his head… convinced him you and I were sneaking around behind his back.”

“So he decided to do the same?”

“He fucked up okay!” You snarled “We all make em’!”

“He doesn’t trust you if he allowed her to convince him that we were sneakin’ around!” Ben was unable to hide his disbelief “You deserve so much better Stitch!” I “Well, I don’t exactly have a queue of men waiting to do right by me.” You scoffed.

“Why him?” Ben pushed, his tone suddenly vulnerable and your brows pulled together as you pondered his question.

“Why not?”

That wasn’t an answer and you both knew it. Yet neither of you could bring yourselves to question it further. Ben ran a hand through his blonde locks before glancing at the door and then back at you.

“I should go.” Ben piped up after a few tense minutes, pushing himself to his feet “I’ll see you later.”

“Ben!” You called out, hurt and confused by his reaction to your news “Where are you?…”

“I need to get out of here!” Ben replied, back still turned to you.

“Why?” You choked. Your heart breaking.

“Because I can’t watch this.” He replied. Tears falling freely as he walked to your door.

“Can’t watch what?” You called out but he didn’t reply “Ben!”

The younger Miller didn’t reply. He just got in his truck and ignored how you stood on your drive, sobbing as you watched him leave.

You didn’t understand why he’d reacted so poorly to your news.

You’d expected him to be excited for you. You had hoped he’d have held you close and congratulated you on your wonderful news. Not walk out disappointed in you. It hurt you that the man you’d come to look at as one of your best friends had just walked away from you.

If only you’d known why.

…

Benny was on his second beer of the evening. He’d barely spoken a word to anyone but what had confused Frankie to no end was how he’d spoken exactly zero words to you.

He has spared you a few glances but nothing more and it was clear how much it affected you.

Frankie was about to pull Ben to one side and call him out on it when you revealed exactly why Ben was so off.

“So I have some exciting news.” You piped up when Will had finished talking about his latest work drama.

“I hope it's more exciting than Will’s tale!” Frankie teased, receiving a finger from the older Miller.

“Well, I think it is.” You chuckled nervously, smiling to yourself as you lifted your left for everyone to see “Mike asked me to marry him.”

“Well shit.” Will expelled as he grabbed your hand to inspect the monstrous rock they’d all managed to miss “That’s amazing news, congrats!”

“Are you happy?” Frankie asked and you nodded, your eye’s glancing at Ben who was looking elsewhere.

“Ben, aren’t you gonna congratulate her?” Nudged Will and finally Ben looked at them.

“Already knew.” The younger man shrugged, then returned to staring out of the window.

“So how did he ask?” Will asked, brushing off his brother’s response.

“Well uh… its a funny story actually…” You chuckled to yourself “We’d gotten into a fight over something silly… it was stupid! Anyway, we were yelling at each other and then he just sorta blurted it out!”

“Hardly call cheating silly!” Ben grumbled, grabbing everyone’s attention.

“What was that?” Frank asked, brows pulling together as he glanced between you and Ben.

“Nothing!” The blonde replied before pushing himself to his feet and grabbing his empty beer bottle “Need a drink… Be right back.” He mumbled before making his way over to the bar.

“What’s his problem?” Will asked and you simply shrugged, unable to mask how hurt you were feeling.

“I’ll go check on him.” Frankie announced before getting to his feet “Anyone else needs a drink whilst I’m up there?”

You and Will simply shook your heads.

“Don’t Fish!” Ben warned when Frankie stepped up beside his friend, his eyes not leaving the tv overhead.

“I get you’re hurting but-“

“Hurting?” Ben scoffed “I’m in agony.” Ben choked “But what’s worse is that that fucker cheated on her and yet still she ran back to him.”

"He cheated on her?" Ben nodded and Frankie sighed "Like fucked someone else or…"

"She caught him kissing someone else." Ben elaborated "But still! He's an asshole."

“So what… you’re just gonna cut her out because she didn’t choose you?” Frank snapped "He did a shitting thing but she doesn't deserve you blanking her because you got your feelings hurt."

“I’m not cutting her out.” Ben groaned, scraping a hand over his face.

“No?” Fish pushed “Cus it sure looks like it! You’ve not spoken a word to her or looked at her all evening!”

“Fish-“

“You need to either tell her the truth or suck it up because she’s hurting and I won’t stand by and let you treat her like this.” Frankie warned, “I’m not beyond kicking your ass.” He finished before swiping the new beer the bartender had brought him up and taking a long pull “Think about it.”

Frankie joined the rest of the table leaving Ben to ponder what his friend had told him. The pilot was right. He did have to decide. But one choice would mean he’d likely lose you. The other. He’d be in pain the rest of his life.

…

In the week that followed that announcement, Ben continued to be distant.

You’d been sad at first but now as time went on, you just grew angry. Your hectic days had managed to distract you from your issues with Ben but your evenings were often empty. Leaving you time to dwell.

So you had been relieved when Maria had invited you over to do some wedding planning, Frankie hanging around in the background. Very much on baby duty.

"What do you think of an outdoor ceremony?" Maria asked as she showed you some of the ideas she'd saved in a Pinterest folder "Don't you think they look so elegant?"

"They do." You gushed, your eyes almost certainly moulding into hearts "But do you think Mike would like it?"

"I think that man will let you have whatever you want!" She replied, giving you a look that said more than words ever could.

"I suppose you're right but it's his day as much as it is mine." You countered "He has to enjoy it too!"

"You're too kind for your own good!" She chuckled as she poured you some more wine "You spoken to Ben lately?" She asked as she topped up her own glass and you sighed.

"No." You mumbled, taking a sip of the rich red liquid before continuing "I just don't get why he's being like this… I mean I know that he was angry that Mike had kissed that… Well you know but it was my decision to forgive him. What gives him the right to be angry at me?"

"Oh, hun." Maria sighed as she grabbed your hand and gave it a friendly squeeze "Ben's not angry at you. He's just hurting."

"Why?" You asked, your tone jumping from pissed to worried "Has something happened?"

"Well yeah." She replied with a nod "You got engaged!"

"I don't follow…" You trailed off, unsure as to what Maria was getting at and the older woman sighed.

"That boy is head over heels in love with you." She stated, smirking when your eyes almost popped out of your skull.

"He's what?"

"He's in love with you." She repeated.

"Bullshit." You scoffed as you took another large gulp of wine.

"It's the truth hun." She continued "Frankie gave him an ultimatum at the bar the other week. Tell you or suck it up… I guess he's not done either."

"But he… We never… He's in love with me?"

You weren't sure whether to believe what Maria was telling you. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. For her to start laughing and tell you that she was only messing with you. Yet she didn't. She just sat there with a sympathetic look on her face as she waited for you to process what she'd told you.

"Why didn't he just tell me?"

"Cus' the boy's a moron." Piped up Frankie as he entered the kitchen to grab a beer "The first night we all went out was meant to be a date… just you and him but at the last minute he panicked and ended up inviting us all."

"He panicked?" You asked and he nodded.

"He's never felt for anyone the way he feels for you." He confessed "You make him stupid and his behaviour right now is him being exactly that… Stupid."

"I need to go talk to him." You said as you grabbed your wine and necked the last of it, hoping it would bring you some courage.

"Let me take you over at least!" Frank offered, placing his unopened beverage back into the fridge.

"What are you going to tell him?" Maria asked as she handed you your coat.

"I uh… Well shit, I haven't thought about it." You replied honestly as you looked between the couple nervously.

"How do you feel about him?" Maria asked you and you sighed.

"I'm crazy about him." You confided, a nervous smile crossing your face "I didn't think… That night we met and you were all there I just assumed he wanted to be friends. I never thought for even a second that he liked me."

"Then you need to tell him that." Maria stated plainly as she gave you a warm smile "You need to be honest with him and yourself… before you marry the wrong man!"

"You ready to go Hermosa?" Frankie asked and you nodded.

"Let's go."

…

Frankie pulled up outside Ben's building and gave you a warm smile.

"Call me if you need anything okay?" He stated and you nodded, leaning over to give him a hug before jumping out of the car.

You skipped to the door of his building and typed the code in, heart racing as you sprinted up the stairs two steps at a time. When you made it to his floor, the hallway seemed to stretch on forever. Then coming to a stop outside his door, you let out a shaky breath before knocking. Hands shaking from a mixture of nerves and excitement.

The moment the door opened your heart stopped. It wasn't Ben that greeted you. It was a beautiful woman with long blonde waves and stunningly green eyes.

"Can I help you?" She asked in a sickly sweet tone.

"Is Ben in?" You asked and she nodded before calling for him over her shoulder.

She moved out of the way so that Ben could take her place before placing a sensual kiss on his cheek.

"Don't be too long." She purred before slinking out of view and you could swear the sound of your heart shattering echoed through the hall.

"What are you doing here Stitch?" He asked, his tone making you flinch.

"I uh… Well, I came to tell you something but uh… It seems like I caught you at a bad time." You choked as you blink furiously in an attempt to stay your tears.

"Tell me what?"

"It's not something I want to discuss in the hallway of your building." You growled, angry tears pushing through despite your best efforts.

"Well as you can see I have company so can it wait?" He asked and you sobbed then.

"Got I'm so stupid."

Ben's brows drew together then as he watched you fall apart. You didn't even try to stop the tears. You just let them fall freely as you started to fumble for your phone.

"I need to go." You said, panicking more when you failed to find your phone, only to groan in frustration when it fell from your pocket and clunked on the floor.

"Woah. Stitch… What the hell is going on?" Ben pushed, grabbing your arm when you attempted to retreat.

"Get off of me." You growled, eyes burning as you glared at him and he shrunk back but didn't leave "I knew they were wrong." You scoffed "Knew there was no way that it was true."

"That what was true?" Ben asked, his confusion plastered all over his face "What are you talking about."

"Frank and Maria told me that you were in love with me." You growled "Clearly they were mistaken." You finished before bringing up the number you needed and pressing call "Bye Ben."

The younger Miller stood there in shock, his mind taking longer than he would have liked to catch up with his feet. When he'd made it to the main entrance you were hopping back into Frank's truck, the man had stopped at Ben's local liquor store to fetch more wine for his wife.

Ben called out for you but he knew he was too late. You were out of earshot and speeding out of site and he sobbed as he watched you leave. Cursing his decision to call Kayleigh. He'd hoped that some no strings attached sex would help him work out some frustrations. He'd never thought for a second that you would turn up at his door.

Yet you had and the expression you wore… One of heartbreak and betrayal would be permanently seared into his memory for the rest of his life. He knew he had to make this right… He just wasn't sure how.

…

You'd ignored every call and message from Ben. You'd declined drinks with the group. You'd barely left your apartment. You hated the fact you'd let Frank and Maria get your hopes up. You'd known deep down that there was no way that Ben liked you… so there was no hope in hell that the man loved you. He was well out of your league and you were painfully aware of that. If you were being honest with yourself, you knew that Mike was too but for whatever reason, the man had chosen to spend the rest of his days with you so it gave you some comfort to know that you wouldn't end up alone.

Maria had been hounding you all day to go to the bar with them. Mike was out of town on business and she'd thought that it would take your mind off of being alone. Little did she know that Mike wasn't the reason you had been so withdrawn. She had finally relented though and so that is how you had found yourself drinking wine alone and watching reruns of friends.

BANG BANG BANG

You groaned as the sound echoed through your house. You weren't sure who could possibly have decided to visit you at 9 pm on a Saturday and if you were being honest with yourself, you were in no humour to entertain.

BANG BANG BANG

You angrily pushed yourself to your feet and traipsed over to the door, opening it aggressively as you went to glare at the offender.

"What do you…" You trailed off when you saw a sad and flustered-looking Ben in your doorway. "Ben… What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk." He answered breathlessly, brows pulled together tightly "Can I come in?"

You held the door open wider and motioned for him to enter, watching him as he made his way over to your couch and perched himself on the edge. You followed him and sat down on the couch across from him, watching him closely as you waited for him to speak.

"So… You wanted to talk." You grumbled, "So talk!"

"You said that Frank and Maria told you that I was in love with you." He started and you nodded.

"Clearly they were way off base." You scoffed, grabbing your wine and gulping the last of it down before grabbing the bottle to replenish it.

"They were telling the truth." He piped up and your hand stilled as your eyes drifted up to look at him "I fell in love with you more or less the moment I first saw you."

"But-" Ben held up his hand and you stopped talking.

"I kept trying to figure out ways of asking you out but I kept bottling it." He confessed as he wiped one of his large hands over his mouth "I'd never been so nervous to ask someone out before but then… I've never felt like this about someone before."

"Ben…"

"Then you and Mike started dating and I'd missed my chance." He choked "So I convinced myself that I would get over you… that these feelings would fade only they didn't… They got worse and then you caught Mike with that other woman and I dared let myself hope that the universe was giving me another chance…" he trailed off, tearful eyes locking with yours as he let out a shaky breath "And then you told me that you were going to marry him and my world fell apart."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" You wept, tears slipping down your cheeks as you held his gaze.

"Because I didn't want to lose you." He confessed "But I also didn't know how to cope with these feelings so I decided that maybe a casual fucking situation would help me keep my mind off it but… Sex doesn't fix shit."

"Ben I…" You pushed yourself to your feet and started to pace "I just… I don't-"

Ben stood up and grabbed your shoulders, eyes locked with yours.

"Baby I love you… and I am so sorry that I hurt you but I was fallin' apart."

"I'm with Mike." You sobbed but he just shook his head.

"You don't have to be."

"I said I'd marry him."

"You can change your mind." He stated, his breath mingling with yours as he edged closer and closer to you "You can choose not to."

"Ben… Ben I-"

He stopped you with a kiss. His lips were soft against yours and his beard prickly. It was all different and all so perfect. His hands grabbed your hips and pulled you flush against his firm body before he laced his hand in your hair and deepened the kiss. You moaned when his tongue started to dance with yours and your core throbbed as he started to kiss down your neck.

"Ben… please."

"What… What do you want?" He breathed, his tongue laving your skin and driving you mad.

"Fuck me…" You whined "I want you to fuck me."

He tore your shirt open without ceremony, buttons pinging off the walls and the floor. He groaned when he pulled it down your shoulders to reveal your full breasts and normally you'd be self-conscious of the fact that they aren't perky or small but with Ben, you weren't. He pushed you back onto the couch and quickly latched onto one, sucking and flicking it with expert precision.

"Benny." You whined, your centre aching for him "Please I need more."

He pulled back so that he could tear off his shirt and pull down his shorts. Revealing his aching passion for you to ogle at from where you lay. Then he was on you again, kissing down your body. Nibbling and licking at your most sensitive areas before coming to a stop at your mound, still hidden beneath your sleep shorts. He looked up at you for silent permission which you gave with an eager nod of your head and he pulled down your shorts wearing a shit-eating grin when he revealed how soaked you were for him.

He dove straight in. Licking and sucking at your little bundle of nerves and pulling sounds from you that you didn't even know you were capable of. He was good with his mouth, amazing but it just wasn't quite enough to push you over the edge. Sensing this Ben pushed two fingers into your heat and crooked them just right. Sending you hurtling over and you gushed into his mouth as you screamed his name.

You didn't even have time to be embarrassed that you'd made a mess of him as he was pulling his briefs down and pushing into you quicker than you could blink. He was big. Filling you more than you were used to so you help him still a moment as you adjusted to his size, choosing to sloppily kiss him in the meantime.

"You feel so perfect." Ben purred as he started to thrust a little, each drag of his length inside of you setting off fireworks in your belly "Dreamt of this."

"Mmmm… Me too." You purred as you grabbed the globes of his ass and urged him to go faster "Fuck me, Benny… Fuck me harder! I can take it."

Ben didn't need to be asked twice. He snapped his hips back and forth with deadly accuracy, hitting your G-spot over and over again. You dug your nails into the strong muscles in his back as you sobbed from the pleasure this man was bringing you. You could feel yourself edging closer and closer to your next orgasm and Ben could feel it too which only made him double his efforts.

"Cum for me beautiful…" He purred "Let me feel you."

It took a dozen more thrusts to have you gushing and squeezing him, dragging him right along with you. Then the two of you lay there, panting and glistening in sweat as you revel in your post-sex high. He rolled onto his side and you rolled to face him, smiling as he cupped your cheek and kissed you sweetly.

"We shouldn't have done that." You said softly although you were struggling to regret it.

"I'm sorry but I am not sorry that this happened." Ben confessed "I love you and I think you love me too… So you need to choose…" He trailed off, his expression turning serious.

"Me, or Mike!"

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