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ificanthaveu · 4 years

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Big Dipper || Shawn Mendes

Description: After the worst few months of your life, you spend your summer at your family’s cottage. There you meet Shawn Mendes who is there for his own reasons. In search of a break, the two of you begin to find something more than that.

A/N: OH BOY this is.....so long. BUT it’s honestly so cute and I really like how it turned out. I love a good “summer love” and I feel like it’s the perfect time of year for that. At first I genuinely just wanted this to be soft fluffy summer cabin life...but then i decided reader had some issues she had to overcome. SO ENJOY.

Word Count: 12.6k

“Is that everything?” Your uncle George asked as he leaned your suitcase against the wall and walked towards the door to lock his car.

You glanced around at the bags the two of you had just brought in and nodded your head.

“Yeah, I think that’s it. Thanks again. You really didn’t have to help,” you said with a slight head shake.

He shrugged his shoulders as he brushed some dust off one of the counters.

“Well, you’ll be doing a lot this summer. I just wanted to make sure you got in ok,” he said as he checked the time. “I guess I’ll leave you to it. The list is on the fridge, and if you need absolutely anything, just call me or your aunt or Lyla. It’s just a short two hours.”

“Sounds great. Do you know if any of the neighbors are around anymore?” You asked, gesturing to the two cottages on the other sides of you through the woods.

“The Henderson’s sold their cottage at the end of last summer, and it’s still up for sale. You might see some people stopping by to look at it occasionally. And then someone’s renting the other one from the Everett family for the summer, but I don’t know who it is. I saw some guy around your age wandering around before,” he said.

“Alright, well that’s all I need,” you said with a sigh.

He gave you a quick hug goodbye before leaving. You heard his truck driving up the driveway shortly after.

You sighed and looked around at the place you’d spending your summer at. Your bags were littered everywhere with everything you’d need for the next three months, and you figured that was the first step of anything. So you grabbed your bags with clothes and brought them into the main bedroom to start putting your clothes in the drawers.

After your hardest year of college yet, you honestly didn’t want to live with your parents this summer. You loved seeing them for weekends, but a whole summer wasn’t something you were sure you could handle. So when your uncle mentioned his cottage in Michigan would be empty and needed some cleaning up this summer, you jumped at the chance.

Your uncle was glad to let you stay here as long as you started tackling the list of things that had to be done to the place. Nothing too serious, just a lot of cleaning, some painting, and a few basic repairs. No one in your family came here as much as you did when you were young, so the place stayed pretty vacant for almost a year.

So you got a part-time job at the restaurant down the road and decided to spend your summer here.

You finished putting your clothes away and started with your toiletries before moving to the groceries.

After you were done, you grabbed your book and went out the back door, following the brick stairs down to your dock. You knew the paddleboat was in the shed which was something you planned on pulling out as soon as possible.

But for now, you just wanted to lay outside in the sun and peace and quiet and read your book.

“Hey!” You heard someone yell from behind you before you even had a chance to open your book.

You sighed and turned around to see a man at the dock next to yours, just far enough away that he had to yell for you to hear him, with a guitar perched up on his lap and a notebook in front of him.

“Hi,” you yelled back.

“Do you live there?” He asked as he pointed back to your cottage.

“For the summer. It’s my uncle’s place,” you responded.

“George?” He questioned.

“Yep. That’s him,” you yelled.

You watched the man set his guitar down and stand up, walking along the cut path between the two docks. You stayed seated, just turning around to see him walking to meet you at the beginning of your dock.

You stood up as he neared, and he stuck his hand out to shake.

“I’m Shawn,” he said with a gentle smile.

“[Y/N],” you responded and mirrored his smile.

“Figured we should know each other, you know, in case of emergency,” he said with a shrug.

“Of course,” you agreed. “The storms can get bad around here.”

“Can they?” He questioned with a cocked eyebrow.

“Yeah, are you not from around here?” You asked.

“No, not at all,” he said through a gentle laugh as he moved to sit down on the edge of the dock, his feet barely grazing the water.

“Me neither,” you said, following to sit next to him. “Well, I used to be, but my parents moved to North Carolina when I was 13.”

“Have you been here since?” He asked.

You shook your head, “We visit my family, but they’re two hours south of here. This is my first time being here since I was 13.”

“Wow,” he said with a nod.

“What brought you here?” You asked him.

“Needed some space I guess,” he said quietly. “Life just got too quick, and I just wanted to be able to relax and focus on me and writing music.”

“How long have you played?” You asked as you gestured to his abandoned guitar.

“Probably ten years now,” he said after a moment of thinking.

“And you write, too?”

He nodded his head at that.

“What brought you here? Why Michigan for the summer instead of North Carolina? Why the lake over the ocean?” He asked as he looked at you.

You shrugged your shoulders and kicked your feet for a moment.

“This last semester was my hardest one I’ve had yet, and I genuinely did not think I’d be able to live with my parents for a summer and have to work for the family business. Uncle George mentioned he was meaning to clean this place up, so I told him I’d do it,” you paused. “North Carolina is great, but I just needed a change of pace for a while. Something slower.”

“Looks like we’re on the same page,” he said.

You nodded your head, glancing down the canal.

“Have you explored at all?” You asked him, not wanting to talk about your family any longer

“Not at all,” he said through a gentle laugh. “I got here yesterday, and all I’ve done is unpack.”

“Well, there’s not much to figure out anyway. This town is pretty small,” you said.

“Any town secrets? Good suggestions?” He asked.

“Well, I’ll be working at Goldie’s a mile down the street. They have great breakfast. The downtown area is small, but they do have a farmer’s market every other week on Tuesdays. There’s a convenience store down there if you need anything and little family-owned shops, but the nearest box store is probably a half-hour away,” you paused to think of anything else. “There are some really good trails down past your cottage if you like to run or hike or anything.”

“Thanks,” he said as he took a mental note of some of the places you rattled off.

“And as for town secrets,” you said through a sigh. “Someone did die in the cottage you’re renting.”

His eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he whipped around to look at you.

“What?” He said loudly.

You couldn’t help the smile that came upon your cheeks as he rolled his eyes and let out a small chuckle.

“That’s not funny. You scared me,” he said as he rested his hand on his chest.

“Well, someone could have, I wouldn’t know,” you said with a shrug.

“Don’t say that,” he mumbled.

“Well, if you get too scared, I have a spare bedroom,” you offered a little too quickly.

“How generous of you,” you said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “Scare the shit out of me and then offer me your guest room. Classy.”

“That’s how we do it around here,” you said with a smile.

“Great.”

Silence filled the two of you as you could hear the birds chirp and the gentle noise of the water lapping against the poles that held up the dock. You laid back to look at the clouds above you, the edges of the tree branches reaching out to touch them.

You felt Shawn lay down next to you, also looking at the sky.

“I think this is going to be just what I needed,” he said as he turned his head to look at you.

You turned your head towards him as well, squinting at the sun.

“Me, too.”

—

You were up by 7:00 the next morning, hoping to get a chunk of the list done today before you started working tomorrow. You turned on your music and started scrubbing out the cupboards in the kitchen, temporarily stacking everything on the counters.

A knock sounded as you glanced over to see Shawn standing there. You motioned to him that the door was open before continuing scrubbing.

“What are you doing?” He asked as he looked up at you.

“Scrubbing these disgusting cupboards,” you said as you sat down on the counter. “What’s up?”

“I think the combination I was given for the shed is the wrong one,” he said as he handed you the crumpled note. “I can’t get into it.”

“32-24-08?” You said out loud.

“Tried that,” he said.

“I can try,” you said as you hopped off the counter and made your way over to Shawn’s and grabbed the lock dangling off the shed, putting the combination in and tugging.

“See?” He said.

You tried tugging on it harder, thinking it might just be stuck, but to no luck.

You looked down at the note again and tried 29 instead of 24, and it popped open.

“How the hell did you do that?” He asked as he threw his hands up in frustration.

You leaned towards him and pointed to the number, “That’s a 9, not a 4.”

“Well, shit,” he said as he took the note out of your hand. “That’s some bad handwriting.”

You patted his shoulder as you walked past him to make your way back to your place.

“I’ll be in my cupboards,” you said as you turned around briefly. “You know where to find me for all your lock needs.” You bowed before turning back around.

You could hear him chuckle from behind you as you smiled your whole way back.

You finished off the cupboards by 1:00 and then wiped the counters spotless until 2:00. You stopped to eat a quick lunch before working on the microwave and hoping to finish the oven and stove today while having time to walk to the other side of the lake to watch the sunset from the park.

You completed everything on time and took a quick shower before throwing on shorts and a sweatshirt to start your walk.

It wasn’t any more than a mile to the other side of the lake where there was a boat landing with a beach and a small park. You laid out a blanket on the beach and sat down, releasing the tension in your body from a day of scrubbing and cleaning.

You scanned the perimeter of the lake, seeing a few boats out and mentally reminding yourself that you still hadn’t taken out the paddleboat.

As you continued to look around, you could see Shawn sitting at the end of his dock, this time on a chair, but still with his guitar.

You had to squint to really see him. You wished you were over there, so you could actually hear him play and sing.

The sky turned darker as you watched the sun slowly disappear, leaving the lake and sky to be dark shades of blue that made it look a little ominous as the boats made their way back their docks.

Shawn was long gone when you looked across the lake again.

You stood up with a sigh and grabbed your blanket to make the walk back. You didn’t mind it since the stars were out and gave all the light you needed. You even saw a few shooting stars which always made your heart leap.

You heard soft guitar strumming and a fire crackling and saw the flames through the trees as you walked by Shawn’s driveway. You turned down his instead of yours and watched him come into view as he hummed along to whatever he was playing.

“Hey,” you said softly as you got closer.

He looked up to see you and smiled, moving to set his guitar down.

“Don’t,” you said a little too harshly. “I want to hear you play.”

“That’s the worst thing to say to a musician,” he said through a laugh.

“Just continue playing whatever you were playing,” you responded.

You sat down next to him on the swing he was on, his foot gently pushing it back and forth.

With a sigh, he started strumming the tune again as you leaned your head back and watched the fire. The soft sounds of his playing, the crickets, the soft wind and the fire were enough to almost lull you to sleep.

You turned your head to watch him as he played. He seemed to get lost in it as he also watched the fire.

“You don’t have to keep playing if you don’t want to,” you whispered.

He turned to look at you, offering the same soft smile.

“Good,” he said just as quiet as he set his guitar down next to him. “I’ve had that melody stuck in my head with no lyrics to go with it, and I think I’ll go crazy if I play it anymore.”

“It’s really pretty,” you offered.

“Thank you.”

It went silent as you both watched the fire dance.

“Why Michigan?” you asked after a moment.

“Why not Michigan?” he asked back.

“I’m just saying it’s usually not the first place people think of when they need time away.”

“I had some friends who used to live around here,” he said. “I wanted to be secluded. Somewhere different. When I googled places for the summer, this was the first one that popped up.”

“My parents are ruthless, so that’s my excuse. What’s yours? And you can’t just say you needed to slow down,” you asked.

“I guess ever since I started doing music, everyone wants the newest thing as soon as possible, and I’m out of ideas,” he said slowly. “I thought if I got away, completely by myself, and was able to find myself again, I’d be able to write something real, not rushed.”

“Yeah, I get that,” you said with a nod.

“And I don’t think ruthless parents is enough of an excuse,” he said as a sly smile came across his face. “I’m going to need a little more.”

You sighed and leaned your head back on the swing, feeling the pole dig into the back of your neck.

“They own a law firm in North Carolina. They’re both lawyers,” you paused. “I’m an English major.”

“Oh,” he said, everything clicking into place.

“I declared my major before this last semester, and they found out while I was at school. I knew if I went home, they’d do everything in their power to try to change my mind.”

“And your mind does not want to be changed.”

“Not at all.”

“Damn, so you decided a thousand miles would be a better distance?” He asked.

“The perfect distance,” you said with a smile.

“Just your parents? Nothing else tick you off about North Carolina?” He asked.

You turned towards the fire, watching it slowly die out. You stood up and wrapped your blanket tighter around yourself.

“Another time,” you said with a nod as you stood in front of him.

“Leaving me on a cliff hanger,” he said as he shook his head.

“You just know there’s more. It’s not really a cliff hanger,” you said with a scrunched face.

“That’s the definition of a cliff hanger,” he said with a laugh.

“I can give you a hint and make you even more mad,” you tested.

He waved his hands in front of him, shoeing you away.

“I don’t want to hear anything else. It’ll just bug me because I know you won’t finish it,” he said with a smirk.

“Looks like you’ve already got me figured out,” you said with a head shake, and your arms crossed across your chest.

“Yeah,” he said with that same soft smile that was starting to make your heart flutter. “Now get outta here.”

You giggled as you walked away from him and towards the path back to your place.

“Hey,” you heard him call.

You turned around for a moment to look back at him.

“I think I thought of some lyrics.”

“You going to play it for me sometime?” You asked.

“I’ll play it for you once you tell me your whole story,” he said. It was dark, but you just knew he was smirking.

“Touche.”

—

Your first shift at the diner the next morning went off without a hitch as you followed another waitress to learn the ropes. Goldie’s was a fairly casual place. No uniforms or oddly specific policies and mostly just regulars coming in to eat.

You rode your bike back to your cabin and leaned it against the side. You took a quick shower before slipping into running shorts and a sports bra, hoping to get a long hike in before finishing the cleaning in the kitchen.

You marched up your driveway in long strides, stretching your hips as you turned left, just to run into Shawn.

“Where are you headed?” You asked him.

“I was going to hike on one of the trails up there,” he said as he pointed down the road. “I’m guessing you’re doing the same thing?”

“You bet,” you said. “Want some company?”

“Of course,” he said with that charming smile as he followed your direction, claiming you knew which trail was the best.

You hiked in silence for a while as you followed the twists and turns of the path, Shawn following whichever way you turned.

“So, when are you going to finish your story?” He asked casually.

You crinkled your nose as you ducked underneath a branch.

“I’ll take that as a ‘not now,’” Shawn said through a laugh.

“Deep stories are hard to tell on hikes,” you said as you caught your breath.

“So it is deep?” He asked.

“I thought I made that clear.”

“Well, yeah, I guess you did.”

“What about you, huh?” You asked. “What’s holding you back from writing the music you want to write?”

“Time,” he reminded you.

“And?” You tested.

“And what? That’s literally it,” he said through a laugh.

You gave him a side-eye before you looked away.

“Says the guy who now has all the time in the world, but still couldn’t think of lyrics last night?”

“Busted,” he said as he hung his head low.

“Spill.”

“It’s complicated,” he said after a moment of silence.

“That’s what everyone says.”

“Yeah, but I mean it,” he said gently. “I guess I’ve just felt really uninspired. Like everything I’ve experienced as of lately has been surface level. It’s been nothing worth writing about.”

“But you came up with ideas last night? After I left?” You asked, noticing you were nearing the end of the path.

“Yeah,” he said simply.

“Why?” You tested.

You rounded the corner to the opening on top of the hill, showing off the lake and the rolling hills surrounding you.

“Wow,” he whispered as he leaned against a tree.

“Told you this is the best one,” you whispered back.

The two of you sat in silence as you admired the view.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you said after a few minutes.

“You really don’t give up, do you?” He asked as he turned to look at you, a smile still gracing his face.

“Never,” you returned.

“You inspired me,” he said, his eyes looking directly into yours.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Silence surrounded you again, this one a little more uncomfortable than the last.

“How?” You tested once more.

“It wasn’t surface level,” he said. “When we talked last night, it was real. I didn’t feel like I had to be fake around you.”

“I get that,” you said with a nod. “I felt the same way.”

Without another word, Shawn turned around to start making his way back down the hill, and you followed behind him.

“You know, this means I’m going to have to keep hanging out with you a ton if I actually want to write some good music this summer,” he teased.

“I’m not complaining,” you said as you mockingly put your hands up. “I like talking to you.”

“Good.”

—

Your conversation with Shawn stayed in the back of your mind every time you two saw each other, which was turning out to be every day, all day.

Shawn started helping you clean your cabin, so the two of you could keep talking and getting to know each other while still knocking things off your to-do list.

“Favorite movie?” He asked as the two of you moved a dresser out of the spare room.

“Clueless. Favorite book?”

“The Alchemist. Most embarrassing moment?”

“Freshman year of high school I spilled water down the hallway on my first day of school,” you paused after that one as you recounted the memory.

Shawn laughed as he took down the framed pictures on the walls.

“That’s bad,” he said.

“I know,” you grumbled, stacking the pictures as he handed them to you. “I will truly never forget it.”

“So, just washing the walls today and then painting tomorrow?” He asked.

“Yep, I work the morning shift tomorrow, so does noon work?”

“Perfect,” he said with a smile.

You grabbed a pail of water, two sponges, and two rags. You handed one to Shawn and the two of you worked on scrubbing the walls that were dirtier than you thought.

“This is gross,” Shawn said as he rang his dirty rag out.

“I know,” you mumbled, scrubbing at a mystery substance on the wall.

“Favorite memory?” You asked.

“Christmas morning with my family. Biggest regret?”

“Not speaking my mind sooner. Biggest accomplishment?”

“Being myself,” he said in the softest voice you’d ever heard.

“Aw,” you let out before you could stop it.

You saw the blush creep up on his cheeks from the corner of your eye as you prayed he didn’t see yours.

“I like that,” you said simply.

“Well, nothing else would have happened if I wasn’t genuinely me. I think everything else that has happened just stemmed from me being me,” he said, swiping across the wall.

“Yeah, I think the same thing. We manifest our own successes and failures. The minute we know who we are, the minute the good things start happening.”

“Are your good things happening?” He asked as he turned to you.

You nodded, meeting his eyes.

“They’re starting to,” you said with a smile.

You spent the next few hours finishing washing the walls before making mac n cheese for the two of you for dinner. Once you were done eating, you made a fire and waited for Shawn to come back, going to grab a sweatshirt.

You heard the leaves crunching before you saw him. He sat next to you on the blanket you had set down, having not found your lawn chairs yet.

“Alright, I think a fire is the perfect place for you to finally explain what else went wrong In North Carolina. Besides your ruthless parents,” he said, crossing one ankle over the other as he leaned back on his arms, looking at you as you watched the fire.

“You really won’t give this up,” you said through a small laugh, hoping to distract him a little bit.

“Come on! I’ve spilled most of my life to you. You can trust me. What is it?” He fired back at you. “Boyfriend? Falling out with a friend?”

You gave him a look with a cocked eyebrow before you said, “Ex-boyfriend, ex-best friend.”

“I guessed it?” He said with a little too much excitement.

“It’s not that hard to guess,” you said with an eye roll. “It’s the first thing people guess.”

“So what happened?” He asked, this time softly, his tone causing you to relax.

“Well, I’d known her since freshman orientation. We clicked instantly. I met him on our first day back from winter break. He was in my creative writing class. We also just clicked, and we were dating by Valentine’s Day,” you began.

You pulled your ankles in as you sat cross-legged, leaning back on your hands.

“We dated for over a year. Everything was great. I was roommates with her that year, and he was over by our place more than he wasn’t during our sophomore year. I thought I had it all,” you said quietly. “And then this last March, I went home for the weekend for my dad’s birthday. I came home Saturday night instead of Sunday morning. I forgot to tell her.”

“Oh no,” he said quietly.

“Yeah,” you said just barely loud enough for Shawn to hear. “I walked in on the two of them making out, both of them half-naked.”

“Wow,” he said, still whispering. “What did you do?”

You let out an uncomfortable laugh and shrugged your shoulders. “I left.”

“Just left? Didn’t say anything?” He asked.

“I told you,” you paused. “My biggest regret is not speaking my mind sooner.”

“Wow,” he said again.

“I went straight to the housing person and requested a room switch. I was in a single room the next day,” you said.

“Did they ever say anything about it?”

“They were both waiting for me in the room when I started moving out the next day. She did everything in her power to get me to stay, but I couldn’t even look at her. He tried every excuse in the book, but I wasn’t having it. I just told them both I never wanted to speak to them again, and so far, I haven’t,” you finished.

“So that’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“Ouch,” he said, shifting so one of his legs was perched up with his arms wrapped around it. “I would’ve killed them.”

“I wish I would’ve,” you said through a forced laugh.

Silence filled the air as you heard the wind whistle around the trees and you crossed your arms gently around your chest.

Shawn laid back on the blanket to look at the stars. You turned to look at him before doing the same. You shifted uncomfortably as something dug into your back.

“Here,” he mumbled as he nudged your shoulder and held his arm out for you.

You hesitated before moving into his welcoming arms, leaning your head on his shoulder and instantly feeling yourself relax in his embrace.

Your eyes traced along the sky, finding constellations quickly.

“I don’t blame you for wanting to get out of North Carolina,” he whispered. You felt his chest rise and fall with every word. “I’d do the same thing.”

“Thanks,” you said. “At least you understand.”

“Big Dipper,” Shawn said as he pointed with his free hand.

“I found that one a while ago,” he said through a laugh.

“And you didn’t point it out?” He asked with offense.

“It’s the most obvious one!” You replied. “And there’s Little Dipper.”

“Thanks,” he grumbled.

You found yourself curling tighter into Shawn’s side as the temperature dropped as it got later and later. Every movement you made, Shawn’s arm curled tighter around you.

You didn’t even know what time it was anymore as moments passed by, the two of you pointing out constellations and laughing and talking like you’d known each other for years. You wanted to sit out here all night, but knew you’d regret it in the morning when your alarm goes off at 5:00.

“I should get going to bed,” you whispered, not moving from Shawn’s side.

“No,” he said simply, also not moving.

Your arm slid around his middle before you could think about it too much, resting your head farther onto his chest.

You felt his breath hitch before his chin rested on top of your head.

“I don’t think it’ll look too good if I’m sleeping through my shift,” you mumbled into his chest.

“Promise we’ll do this again?” He asked softly.

“Look at the stars?”

“Well, yeah, but-um, I meant…” Shawn trained off as you understood what he meant as his arm tightened against you.

“Yeah,” you said. “Of course.”

—

The next morning was brutal as you chugged coffee to stay awake during your shift. You worked behind the breakfast bar, helping and talking to mostly customers who were there alone.

You heard a chair screech, and you turned around to help the newest customer.

“Can I get you some coffee?” You asked, still looking down at your note pad.

“Sure,” he said as you looked up to see Shawn smiling back at you.

You smiled before setting your notepad down and leaning forward on the counter.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked.

“You said they had the best breakfast food, and I had to try it,” he said as he picked up the menu next to him.

You poured him his cup of coffee and set it in front of him as he skimmed the menu.

“Any recommendations?” He asked.

“Our waffles are really good,” you started. “So are our breakfast skillets, if you’re looking for something more savory.”

“You know what, surprise me,” he said as he set his menu down.

Your eyebrows raised as you just stared at him.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah, I trust you,” he said, sipping at the coffee.

“Ok,” you said hesitantly as you wrote down one of your favorites and handed it back to the kitchen. “Don’t blame me if you hate it.”

“I would never,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning forward on the counter. “How’d you sleep?”

“Well, I only got 4 hours of sleep last night,” you said as a yawn washed through you at perfect timing.

“Whoops.”

“Yeah, whoops,” you mocked, taking a drink of your coffee. “I’m blaming this one on you.”

“Nope, this was partially your fault. I will not take the fall,” he said through a smile.

“Yeah, yeah, ok,” you said sarcastically.

“I’m just way too great to be around,” he said with a shake of his head.

“Keep telling yourself that,” you said as you grabbed a plate from the window and set it in front of a woman a few seats down from Shawn.

“Come on, you like spending time with me,” he said with a smile.

You leaned forward on the counter again, eyeing him as he looked back at you.

“I wouldn’t still be talking to you if I didn’t,” you said.

A bell rang and you grabbed the plate that was done, setting it in front of Shawn.

“Ham and cheese breakfast skillet,” you said, handing him silverware.

Without another word, Shawn took a bite and chewed it slowly.

“This is really good,” he said, taking a drink.

“Told you,” you said.

Shawn hung out and drank coffee at the bar as you finished your shift. He jotted away at his notebook he had brought along and shoed you away anytime you tried to look at what he was writing.

Shawn drove you back to your cabin and gave you time to get ready before you had to start painting. He met you by your car to bring the paint in you picked up from the store a few days ago.

The two of you stood in the middle of the room and discussed how you’d do the painting before Shawn plugged his phone into a speaker and you got to work.

After a few hours, you were almost done painting the room a light grey color. You and Shawn were working on the same wall, rolling the paint on in large strokes, occasionally bumping into each other.

Shawn took a step back as he finished his section and watched you finish up a few missed patches.

“Did I miss anything?” You asked as you took a small step back.

“Actually, yes, right there,” he went to point to a spot near the top with his paintbrush still in hand, accidentally splattering you with paint.

You flinched as you felt the drops of paint hit your hair. You heard Shawn gasp as you turned around to glare at him.

“Really?” You said, trying not to laugh and hold your angry face steady.

“I am so sorry. I completely forgot I hadn’t cleaned the brush yet. Holy shit,” he said as he stepped towards you and turned you around, trying to pick out the drying pieces from your hair.

“Shawn, it’s fine,” you said as you took the brush in your hand, reaching back and painting a strip against the top of his head without looking.

You heard the gasp once again as you slowly turned around to see Shawn looking at you with the top of his hair matted down with paint and his jaw dropped.

“That was not an accident!” He said as he pulled at his hair.

“Oops,” you said with a shrug as you turned back around, reaching for the spot near the top.

You felt drips of paint hit your head before one drop rolled down your nose. You whipped around to look at Shawn who was smirking as he watched the paint drip down your face.

You pulled your brush back and sprayed the paint left onto him, covering his t-shirt with spots of paint. He went to do the same to you as you covered your face and moved to the other side of the room.

“That was your biggest mistake,” he said as he shook his head. “Because the bucket of paint is right here.” He pointed at the bucket at his feet.

You glanced between him and the bucket, knowing there was no way out of this.

“I think we’re done,” you said quickly. “You started it, I ended it. That’s fair.”

“But mine was on accident,” he said slowly as he reached down and dipped his paintbrush into the bucket. “Yours were very wet and very on purpose.”

You backed into the corner as far as you could without hitting the wet walls as Shawn moved closer to you, the wet brush gripped tightly in his hand.

He aimed to fling the paint at you, but you ducked at the last minute, trying to dodge past him and out the door. However, you ran along his left side, so his free hand wrapped around your waist before you had a chance to run out. He lifted you up with one arm and held you against him, your feet inches from the ground.

“You made me do this,” he whispered in your ear before dragging the paintbrush down your side.

“I hate you,” you whispered back, trying to steady your shaking voice.

“Doubt it.”

He set you down on your feet, his arm still wrapped tightly around your waist, your back still pressed against his chest. You could feel him breathing as you stayed still. You wrapped your hand around the top of his brush before quickly turning around and leaving a handprint on his cheek and smearing the excess down the front of his shirt.

He shook his head as he tried to wipe it off as you laughed at him from just a few inches away.

“Whoops,” you said simply.

“Yeah,” he scoffed. “Whoops.”

“Truce?” You said sticking your hand out.

“I’m not shaking your hand. That’s literally the hand with paint on it,” he pointed out.

You switched your hands so your other one was stuck out for him to shake. Shawn gripped your hand with one quick shake.

“Well, the walls are painted. And so are the tarps,” he said as you looked down at the, now wet, tarps you had set out before you began.

“Want to watch the sunset?” You asked as you looked out the window, seeing the sun was beginning to set already.

“Of course,” he said as he wiped his face off with a rag.

“We can take the paddle boat out to the middle of the lake?” You suggested.

“Sounds perfect,” he said with a soft smile.

You ignored the butterflies that erupted in your stomach as you left the room. You changed out of your paint covered t-shirt and into a sweatshirt as Shawn did the same with one he had left there a few days ago.

“So we’re just going to leave our hair with paint dried in it?” He said as he picked at a strand of hair.

You shrugged as you opened your fridge, grabbing two wine coolers and handing one to Shawn.

“It’ll wash out.”

The two of you walked down to your dock, and Shawn helped you flip the paddleboat into the lake and held your hand as you climbed in, him sitting next to you before you both paddled to the center of the lake.

You stopped paddling once you found the spot where you knew you could see the sun the best. You pulled your feet up underneath you, and you sat in silence as the boat slowly moved up and down with each ripple of the water.

“I had fun today,” Shawn said after a few minutes.

You leaned your head on the back of the seat as you slouched down.

“Me too,” you replied.

Shawn’s hand made its way to your hair as he picked out a piece of paint that was dangling in front of your face.

Your breath hitched as he tucked the hair behind your ear, his hand lingering by your cheek.

You felt your heartbeat loudly, and you were even scared he could hear it.

“Better?” He whispered.

You gulped before nodding your head, his hand still lingering.

You felt him lean in, and you did the same. As his lips were just a breath away from yours, a particularly big wave splashed against your boat, causing you to stumble back, catching yourself on the edge as Shawn hovered over you, his hand pressed against your lower back.

“Are you ok?” He said through a laugh before pulling you to sit upright again.

“Yeah, just scared the shit out of me,” you mumbled, your heart calming down as the moment was ruined.

Shawn leaned back into his spot, and you stayed in yours, praying that didn’t ruin anything from happening in the future. You tried to pretend that wasn’t a sign and instead focused on the colors of the sky as the sun neared the ground.

Neither of you said anything, and you honestly didn’t know what was left to say that wouldn’t sound forced after the moment that was almost shared. So you stayed quiet.

Once it got near dark, you paddled back to your dock and tied up your boat to the edge. Shawn got out first before taking your empty cans and helping you out.

“Are you feeling a fire tonight?” He asked as you walked up to your door.

You thought about the weight your answer would carry, no matter which one you chose.

“Yeah, why not?” You said with a smile, trusting your gut with this one.

Shawn smiled back and let out a sigh of relief.

“Mine or yours?” you asked.

“Mine, I am not laying on the ground again because you can’t find chairs,” he said.

You feigned offense as you pushed your door open.

“Fine, I’m going to shower, and I’ll meet you up there in twenty minutes.”

Shawn nodded in response before turning to walk up to his cabin.

You shut the door behind you and leaned against it, hitting your head a few times for good measure.

You could practically still feel his lips dangling dangerously close to yours as you tried to shake the feeling as you made your way to the shower to try to scrub the paint out of your hair.

You took your time getting dressed, still trying to calm yourself down before making your way to Shawn’s.

Shawn had already started the fire and was strumming on his guitar and softly singing along. You walked up carefully, wanting to hear as much as you could before he inevitably stopped.

After a moment, you crunched a leaf, and Shawn turned around.

“Took you long enough,” he said before turning back around.

“It’s much more difficult to get paint out of long hair,” you mumbled as you sat next to him on the swing. You pulled your feet up and wrapped your arms around your knees, resting your chin on top as you watched the fire dance.

“No morning shift tomorrow?” He asked as he turned to face you, one leg on the ground to swing the two of you and one leaning against the back of the swing.

“Nope. Maybe I’ll get more than four hours of sleep,” you said with a shrug.

“We can only hope,” he said, leaning his head against the back of the swing.

“You know this swing leans back?” You said as you noticed the latches on the side.

“What?”

“Stand up.”

You unclasped the two latches and laid the swing down flat.

“How the hell did I not notice that?” he mumbled.

You went to flip the swing back up into a sitting position, but Shawn laid down on it before you had a chance.

“Now we can look at the stars and not have rocks digging into our backs,” he said.

You stayed standing with your hands on your hips, not knowing what you were supposed to do.

Shawn noticed and opened his arms up like he had the night before.

You sighed before laying down next to him and resting your head on his shoulder.

“Big Dipper,” he said.

“Little Dipper,” you replied.

The four hours of sleep from the night before caught up to you as you dozed off, curling yourself into Shawn’s side.

Shawn was talking to himself without even realizing it. Once he realized you weren’t responding, he looked down to see you sound asleep, your hand curled into his sweatshirt, and your head buried in his chest.

He begged his heart not to beat out of his chest and wake you up.

He stopped staring at the stars and instead watched how comfortable you were entangling yourself with him. One of your legs was underneath one of Shawn’s as the other was draped on top.

He didn’t want to move, scared the slightest movement would ruin the moment and wake you up. He hesitated before he leaned his head against yours, causing you to tuck yourself further into him.

Before he knew it, he was also falling asleep.

You groaned as you woke up, rubbing your eyes and blinking a few times, confused as to where you were. Once you felt the arm wrapped tightly around your waist, you remembered you were still with Shawn by the fire.

“Shawn,” you mumbled.

“What?” He mumbled back as he pulled you against him again.

“We fell asleep,” you whispered, looking down at your watch and letting out a quiet laugh. “It’s 3:00 am.”

He draped his free arm over his eyes and let out a breath.

“Please tell me you’re joking,” he said as he peaked at you from underneath his arm.

You tilted your watch, so he could see the screen light up.

“Oh, God,” he groaned, turning on his side as you did the same. He looked over the top of you to see the dead fire. He looked at you next, the moon illuminating your features perfectly.

“We can’t stay out here,” you whispered.

“I know,” he said through a sigh.

“I’m going to go,” you said as you began to stand up.

“You’re not walking back right now,” he said quickly.

“Come on, Shawn, nothing is going to happen,” you said, sitting up and looking down at him.

“It’s already 3:00 am, just stay at mine for the night. What if you trip and fall, and I don’t find you until the next morning and by then you’re already dead?” He rambled.

You scoffed and rubbed your eyes once more.

“Fine,” you finally said.

You both stood up and made your way into Shawn’s cabin.

You walked over to the couch and fell onto it, immediately curling up into a ball.

“You are not sleeping there,” you heard Shawn say.

“Yes, I am,” you mumbled.

“No, you’re not. Come on,” he said as he held his hand out for you.

You hesitated before grabbing it and letting him pull you towards the single bedroom.

You crawled underneath the sheets and faced Shawn as he did the same. Once he settled in, he lifted the sheets up and held his arm out.

You gave him a look as he returned the look, still not moving. You rolled your eyes before giving in.

You curled up against him and instantly relaxed as his hand traced along your back.

You could feel his heartbeat steadily as you rested your head on his chest.

“Hey,” you whispered.

“Mhm,” he mumbled.

“About what happened before…”

You paused, waiting for a response.

You looked up to see him sound asleep.

Maybe that was for the best.

—

“Do you think I should transfer schools?” You asked Shawn as you leaned against the counter as he flipped pancakes some morning towards the end of June.

“Do you think you should transfer schools?” He turned the question back.

“I mean I went there because it was close to home, and I genuinely don’t want to be close to home anymore. And I don’t really have anyone there either,” you explained.

“That’s up to you,” he said simply. “Where would you go?”

“University of Michigan,” you said out loud for the first time.

Shawn stopped for a minute and looked at you.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then do it,” he said.

“Should I?”

“Stop asking me. This decision is one you have to do on your own.”

You stayed silent as Shawn handed you your plate of pancakes. You didn’t move from the counter.

“Just apply and see what happens,” he said. “You don’t have to make the decision right now.”

“I’ve been thinking about this for the past three months,” you said. “Hell, even longer. The only thing keeping me there was the two of them and my family.”

“What about a completely different state? Different country?” Shawn suggested. “I’m impartial, but perhaps Canada?” He offered with a smile.

“I’m not moving to Canada.”

“It was worth a shot.”

You ate in silence as you thought about your countless options.

“What about online schooling?” You thought out loud.

“Where would you live?” He asked.

“Anywhere. That’s the best part,” you said. “I could live here. I could live at home. My grandparents in Texas. My friend in Washington. I could go wherever I want.”

“It’s definitely an option,” he said. “Plus you can come to visit me.”

“You want me to visit you?” You said through a quiet laugh.

He looked at you like you were crazy.

“No, I’m going to spend every day with you for three months, and then never see you again,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

“I guess I didn’t think that far,” you said quietly.

“Yeah, I haven’t either.”

“Summer is going to end,” you said.

“Don’t remind me.”

So you didn’t. The two of you finished your pancakes as you switched the subject to something else.

You helped Shawn clean up the dishes before going back to your cabin.

You grabbed your laptop and started looking at schools you could transfer to. You started a small list of your options and requested information from the websites.

Online school was looking more and more appealing.

The daunting reminder that summer would end hung over your head as you did more research. You tried to shake it, but it was hard when you were literally looking at schools to go to in the fall.

Shawn walked into your cabin without knocking and sat down next to you on your couch.

“University of Toronto?” He said as he looked over your shoulder to see you on the home page of their website.

“I’m weighing all my options,” you said as you pulled up the list you had compiled.

He reached over and shut your laptop before taking it from you.

“That’s enough for today,” he said as he set it on the end table.

“What about California?” You asked.

“Also an option. Every city in the world is an option,” he said.

“Those are way too many options.”

“The world is your oyster.”

“Don’t ever say that again.”

“Yeah, that was bad.”

—

July 4 crept up on you much quicker than expected. The cabin was nearly half-finished, much to the help of Shawn as he even did cleaning when you were working, and your aunt, uncle, and cousins were coming to stay for the holiday.

Your cousin Lyla, who was just a year younger than you, came running up from the parked car first, enveloping you in a big bug.

“Hanging in there?” she asked as she pulled away.

You smiled a genuine smile, one she hadn’t seen on you in a while, and nodded your head.

“Yeah, I’m doing really good,” you responded.

Your aunt Penelope and your uncle George said quick hellos before going inside. Your other cousin Lucas, who was two years older than you, gave you a high five before also going inside.

You saw Shawn coming down from the hill, his hands buried in his pockets as he slowly made his way.

“Well, well, well,” Lyla whispered as she looked at him.

“Stop that,” you said with a laugh as the two of you sat at the picnic table in front.

“Hello,” Shawn said as he leaned against the table.

“This is Lyla. Lyla, this is Shawn,” you said quickly.

“Nice to meet you,” Lyla said with a sparkling smile as you rolled your eyes.

“[Y/N]!” You heard your aunt yell from the cabin as she and George leaned out the door. “The place looks fantastic!”

“Thanks! You can thank Shawn here for helping me a bunch, too,” you said as the two of them walked out by you.

“This is my uncle George and my aunt Penelope. This is Shawn. He’s renting the Everett’s,” you introduced them.

“Well, thanks to you, too. I knew [Y/N] would get lonely, so I’m glad you were here to help,” George said as he shook Shawn’s hand.

“Hey, I thrive when I’m alone,” you defended yourself.

“You were alone for over four hours the other day and came to my cabin just because you were lonely,” Shawn said.

“Why would you betray me like this?” You said, a hurt expression across your face.

“We’re going to situate a little bit. Red Desert for dinner?” Penelope asked.

“Sounds great,” you said.

“And Shawn, you are also coming. Dinner on us for everything you’ve helped with,” George chimed in.

“No, no, I don’t want to intrude,” Shawn quickly said.

“No, no, I insist.”

Shawn gave you a side-eye, waiting for you to say something.

“He’ll be coming,” you said with a smile as your family left you alone with Shawn.

“I feel like an afterthought,” Shawn mumbled as he sat across from you.

“Oh, come on. You saw how happy my aunt was with the cabin. I think they’ll really like you,” you said.

“Are they just here for the weekend?” Shawn asked.

You nodded your head as Shawn’s eyes met yours.

“And before you say you’re going to get lonely, you know you are invited with us for everything we do this weekend. They’re so chill when they’re up here that you’ll fit in just fine,” you said.

“I don’t want to intrude,” he groaned again as he rested his head in his hand.

“You’re not spending the fourth alone.”

“It honestly means nothing to me. I’m not even from here.”

“Oh, shut up.”

You were right as Shawn fit right in with your family. He and Lucas clicked instantly, and he couldn’t stop talking Penelope’s ear off. Dinner went by seamlessly before you made your way back to have a fire.

You went with Penelope to dig out the lawn chairs in the back of the shed that you had yet to discover.

“I like him,” she said as she opened up the door.

“Yeah, he’s pretty nice, isn’t he?” You responded.

“Anything else…?” She trailed off.

“Nope,” you said simply. “Just friends.”

“Mhm, sounds like that,” she said, her sarcasm evident.

“He’s from Canada,” you finally say. “I don’t even want to entertain it.”

“But you’ll stay friends right?” She said.

“He thinks we will,” you said softly.

Penelope stood up straight and looked at you.

“What does that mean?” She asked.

“It means that he’s always in a million different places, and why would he want to stay friends with his neighbor from a cabin he rented?” You said out loud for the first time, your insecurity of this whole thing showing.

“[Y/N], it’s not up to you if this guy wants to keep in touch with you. Based on how he’s acting around you and around us, I know he’ll want to stay friends with you at the very least,” she said, finally finding the chairs and starting to hand them to you.

“And at the most…” she started.

“Don’t finish that,” you cut her off. “I really don’t want to get my hopes up.

She sighed as she handed you the last of the chairs, looking at you with her hands on her hips.

“Not everyone is like that asshole from North Carolina,” she said softly.

“It’s hard to remember that sometimes,” you whispered.

She pulled you in for a quick hug before the two of you started picking up the chairs to bring to the fire.

“When did you decide you were going to transfer?” She asked.

Your head snapped to look at her.

“How did you know that?”

“You left your laptop open in the kitchen. NYU?” She questioned.

“You can’t tell my mom,” you said.

“You know I’d never do that. This choice is yours, and whatever it is, it’ll be good because you made it,” she said as you set the chairs down.

You nodded, your conversation cut short as Shawn walked up.

“You’re out of marshmallows,” Shawn said simply.

“Shit, I knew we forgot something when shopping,” you said.

“I have some left, don’t worry,” Shawn said, briefly resting his hand on your back.

The look on Penelope’s face didn’t go unnoticed.

“Why don’t you go with?” Penelope said. “I’ll set up the chairs.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

You followed Shawn up the hill, the two of you weirdly quiet.

“Did I hear your aunt say NYU?” Shawn finally said.

You looked away, instead focusing on your feet hitting the leaves.

“I got accepted last night,” you said simply.

“That’s amazing,” Shawn said, the mixture of excitement and disappointment evident.

“I don’t know if I’m going there,” you said quickly. “I have options.”

“Too many options?”

“Way too many.”

Shawn grabbed his marshmallows out of the cupboard and handed them to you before you walked back down the hill.

Shawn stopped and looked at you as you did the same.

“I know I already mentioned this, and I don’t want to push, but if you do decide online schooling or University of Toronto, my home is your home and I wholeheartedly mean that,” he said seriously.

“Shawn…” you started.

“You don’t have to say anything now. I’m just saying that I know how stressful living situations can be, so if those are options you’re thinking of, I have plenty of room for you. And I’d love for you to be there with me.”

You nodded before moving to walk back down, Shawn following suit.

The tension was evident as the two of you joined your family at the fire pit.

“Everything OK?” George asked, Lyla shooting him a look for his bad timing.

“Perfect,” you said with a plastered on smile.

—

“NYU?” Lyla asked as she turned towards you.

“Yeah, I got the email last night,” you said, resting your head against the headboard as she pulled the covers back on the other side.

“It’s an amazing school,” she said with no emotion.

“You want to say more,” you pointed out.

She shrugged, resting her head on her pillow and glancing up at you.

“It just doesn’t really seem like you,” she said. “Did you apply anywhere else?”

“Yeah, a bunch of places,” you said.

“You gonna tell me which ones?”

“Nope.”

“Does Shawn know?”

“Yep.”

You heard her sigh as she reached over to turn off the lamp.

“If you could pick any school in the world for me to go to, what would you pick?” You asked her as you laid back.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Online,” she said quickly. “You always loved to travel. You could live wherever you wanted with no strings to stop you from moving to the next place.”

“Yeah,” you said simply. “University of Phoenix has an online program.”

“So you have thought of it?” You heard her say.

“A lot.”

“I know you too well.”

—

You forgot how much you loved July 4th up at your cabin. You spent the entire day on the water with your family and Shawn before grilling out hot dogs and having ice cream.

You packed into your uncle’s truck to drive to a beach a few miles down the road that held fireworks. You spread out a blanket near the shore as your aunt and uncle set up chairs.

“Want to go for a walk?” You asked Shawn. “There’s a really short trail that loops around.”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

Your family stayed back as you lead Shawn to the gravel trail that went along the lake.

“Thanks again for including me in everything. Your family is pretty damn cool,” he said.

“Shawn, it’s no problem at all. I love them, but I don’t think I’d be able to handle them without you being there as a buffer.”

“How bad can they be?” he asked.

“Before last year, Lyla was incredibly sheltered. She’s great to be around now that she’s in college, but before that, she was horrible. Same with Lucas, but that changed like three years ago. George can definitely be judgy, so I’m shocked he likes you,” you explained.

Shawn feigned offense before he said, “Not like me?”

“It’s nothing against you,” you recovered. “He just has a hard time letting new people into his life.”

“I get it,” Shawn said simply.

You stopped once you reached the part of the trail that dipped close to the shore. You took a few steps forward, watching the water as it lapped up just inches away from your feet. Shawn did the same. The sun was beginning to set, and you could see them setting up the fireworks across the lake.

You could feel Shawn looking at you as you turned your head to look at him, his shoulder brushing against yours.

You felt your heart rate increase and your legs start to shake as his eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips. He began to lean in, his hand gently resting on the side of your neck as you also followed his lead.

“Hey!”

You quickly stepped back as you looked behind Shawn to see Lyla elbowing Lucas in the ribs.

You breathed out slowly and smiled at the two of them as Shawn turned around to see them.

“Hey, guys,” you said quietly.

“Great view, huh?” Lucas asked, completely oblivious to what was just happening.

“Yeah, it’s gorgeous,” Shawn responded, his eyes moving to you briefly.

The four of you finished walking the trail as the sun finished setting before making your way to sit by your aunt and uncle again.

Shawn didn’t say anything as the two of you sat closely. Again, you were scared to speak, not wanting him to get the wrong impression of what just happened. You didn’t know if you could handle one more “almost.”

The boom of the first firework snapped you out of your trance as you laid back to watch them. Shawn glanced back at you, seeing the reflection of the lights flash in your eyes. The smile on your face was bigger than anything he had seen on you all summer.

Shawn laid back as well, his shoulder pressed against your own. He contemplated putting his arm out for you but knew that wasn’t the best idea since your aunt and uncle were right next to you.

You felt his hand bump against yours and ignored it at first, blaming it on him getting situated.

Until you felt it again.

His pinky poked at yours before you hooked your pinky through his, neither of you looking at the other.

A feeling of calmness rushed across you as you watched the fireworks and felt his hand against yours.

They ended just as quickly as they began. Everyone on the beach clapping as people started packing up. You reluctantly pulled your hand away from Shawn’s as he stood up before helping you up and folding the blanket.

The truck ride home was quiet, everyone tired after a long day. Your uncle dropped Shawn off at the top of the hill, and you simply waved goodbye after George made him promise he’d be at your cabin for breakfast the next morning.

The rest of you got out of the truck after your uncle parked it.

“Is this Shawn’s?” Lyla said as she held up a hat.

You sighed and took it from her.

“Yeah, I’ll just give it to him tomorrow.”

“Or,” she paused. “You can go right now.” She gave you a suggestive look.

“No.”

“Oh, come on, don’t act like I didn’t see what was happening before Lucas fucked it up.”

You toyed with the hat in your hand before nodding your head and letting a breath out.

“Hey, I’m going to run this up to Shawn. I’ll be back in a few,” you yelled to your aunt and uncle as Lyla smiled.

You slowly walked up the hill before knocking on Shawn’s door, something you didn’t do that often anymore.

Shawn opened it up with a questioning look before noticing the hat in your hand. He let you in before you leaned against the counter in his kitchen.

“You left this,” you said, handing him the hat.

He looked at the hat and then back up at you. He grabbed the hat out of your hand before tossing it on the ground. His hands enveloped the sides of your face as his lips crashed into yours. You quickly kissed him back as your hands balled his shirt in your fists. One of his hands rested against your lower back, pulling you closer against him. Your shoulders dropped, and you relaxed into him, your lips molding perfectly against his. You couldn’t help the smile tugging at the edges of your lips.

Shawn pulled away slowly, his eyes still closed as he rested his forehead against yours and his hands stayed set on your hips.

“I don’t know what to say,” you whispered.

“Neither do I,” he replied.

Your hand wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him in again, both of you smiling in between kisses.

After a half-hour of doing just that, you finally left Shawn’s with a peck on his lips. You practically skipped down the hill, almost tripping a few times but nothing wiping the smile off your face.

You opened the door slowly. The cabin was dark as you knew your aunt and uncle were probably sleeping already. You tiptoed to your bedroom door and opened it slowly. The lamp was still on. Lyla was sitting up with her arms crossed and her eyebrows raised as she watched you walk in before closing the door behind you.

“Hm, didn’t realize it took 32 minutes to drop a hat off.”

“Well, it does,” you said as you changed and crawled into bed.

Neither of you said anything as she turned off her lamp and laid down.

“It does if he kisses you,” you mumbled.

“I fucking knew it.”

Shawn walked down the hill the next morning around 8:00 with the same skip in his step you had the night before. You were by the shed grabbing a case of water to bring inside while your uncle was loading some things into his truck.

“Good morning, Shawn!” George exclaimed before you looked up to see him.

“Good morning, George. What time are you guys heading out?” He asked.

“Well, we’ll eat breakfast and clean up and then hit the road,” he said.

“Sounds great,” Shawn replied.

George shut the trunk and walked inside.

Shawn waited until he was out of sight before he wrapped an arm around your waist from behind.

“Morning,” he mumbled in your ear, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

The butterflies in your stomach erupted as you leaned into him.

“Good morning,” you replied. “Want to grab that case of water?”

“Anything for you,” he said before reaching for the case and picking it up.

You joined your family for pancakes, ignoring Lyla as she constantly looked between you and Shawn, waiting for one of you to slip up.

They cleaned up before all hugging you and getting ready to leave.

“It was so great to meet you, Shawn, and I really hope this isn’t the last we’ll see you,” Penelope said as she gave him a hug.

“I hope that, too,” Shawn said before glancing at you. “And I don’t think it will be.”

You hoped your aunt didn’t catch on, but you were wrong as she shot you a look with her eyebrows raised.

“Well, see you soon, bye!” Your family yelled as they climbed in their truck and drove away.

Shawn’s arm draped over your shoulder the minute they were out of sight. You laid your head against his shoulder, neither of you moving.

“Do you wanna talk?” You asked.

“Not really,” Shawn replied, resting his head against your own.

“Shawn…” you started as you pulled away.

“Don’t,” he said quickly. “The minute we talk, the minute we have to remember that this isn’t forever and we both leave. We’ll deal with that later.”

You nodded your head as he pressed a kiss to your forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

You tried to forget the impending end, and for the most part, you did.

You didn’t spend a night alone after that. You switched off between yours and Shawn’s with no rhyme or reason to the order other than that’s where you happened to be for the night. Your things were strewn between the two cabins, and you had a hard time remembering what was where.

But other than that, everything felt perfect.

You paddled the boat out to the middle of the lake with Shawn, a book, and his guitar. You draped your legs over his lap and laid on the seat as he strummed along to whatever he thought of while you read.

“Have you even written anything this summer?” You asked as you closed your book and looked up at him.

“Yeah,” Shawn said hesitantly.

“What have you written?”

“I’ve written a lot more than I thought I would,” he said.

“That sounds good to me,” you said.

He shrugged his shoulders before playing again.

“I mean, I do have some pretty good inspiration to take with me. And if that’s all I have, that’s more than enough,” he said as he looked down at you.

Your heart swelled as you sat back up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“You make this whole songwriting thing pretty damn easy,” he mumbled.

You nodded your head and pressed a few more kisses to his lips before leaning back again.

—

Your acceptance and denial letters rolled in the weeks following. As the beginning of August approached, you read over the list of schools you could go to starting the beginning of September. You had to make a decision soon, and it stressed you out more than you could even comprehend.

You sat in the middle of the floor of the living room with your laptop as Shawn hung shelves in your bathroom. You didn’t even notice he finished until he was sitting across from you.

“You’re thinking too hard,” he said as he ran his hand up and down your calf.

“This isn’t what I’m having for dinner. This is the school I’m going to spend the rest of my college career at,” you said as you looked up at him.

“Still,” he said. “Deep down, you know what the right choice is. You just have to find that part of you.”

You nodded your head before glancing down at your list again. You deleted a few more off that you knew you didn’t want to go to.

“What are you thinking about?” Shawn asked.

“I have it narrowed down to three,” you said before looking up at him.

“Are you going to tell me what the three are?” He said with a smile.

“Nope,” you said, returning the smile. “I’m not going to let you influence me.”

“I would never,” Shawn said quickly. “You know that right?”

You nodded your head, shutting your laptop and setting it aside before curling up in Shawn’s lap as he rubbed his hand up and down your back.

“This is all you. We’ll figure out the technicalities when we have to. Right now, this is about what choice is best for you. Not me. Not your parents. Just you,” he reminded you.

“And you really wanna stay with me?” You asked quietly as you played with his hand.

“I’m not just going to do this for a summer and then forget about it,” he said, his head leaning against yours. “I really fucking like you, and I’ll do whatever I can to continue this once we leave.”

You felt your heart leap out of your chest before you pressed a kiss to his chest, reassuring him that you felt the same way.

“When do you leave?” You asked carefully, realizing he never told you.

“August 15.”

“That’s two and a half weeks,” you pointed out.

You felt him sigh.

“Yeah,” he said. “And when do you start school?”

“Depends,” you said, pulling out your phone to look at the start dates. “Anywhere from August 25 to September 5.”

“So come with me,” he said.

You leaned back to look him in the eyes.

“What?”

“August 15, come with me. Come back to Toronto and spend a week there,” he rambled. “Sure it’s last minute but whatever school you decide, it doesn’t matter because we’ll have another week just the two of us.”

“And you don’t have to go see your family,” he reminded you. “And if you choose University of Toronto or online, I can show you around. And if you chose whatever else, then we can just spend as much time as we possibly can before you have to go.”

“I’d like that,” you said, a soft smile spreading across your face. “But that also cuts a week off my time here, so we have other things to finish.”

He nodded his head and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“No problem at all.”

Most of your mornings following that were spent in the diner. You were home by noon where Shawn was usually already starting that day’s tasks. You kept a strict schedule, not allowing for much outside of cleaning and repairs, but you still had a fire almost every night where you could just relax.

It was early August when you stared at your computer screen, your finger hovering over the accept button.

Shawn was at his own cabin to change as you took the few moments to make your final decision.

In the rare moment of silence you had, you took the minute to breathe, knowing this was what you wanted. You wanted a fresh start, and you were going to get it.

You deserved this.

So you hit accept, sending an email to the registration office to sign up for classes and any other arrangements that had to be made.

You set your laptop aside as Shawn walked in and smiled at you.

“You look happy,” he said before leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips.

You breathed a sigh of relief and nodded.

“I am. I really am.”

—

Shawn knew you had made a decision.

He overheard you on the phone, discussing classes with someone. He tried to google the names you said, praying a school would come up, but it wasn’t really working.

He knew you’d tell him when everything was set and you were ready, but it was killing him.

It was August 14 when the two of you completed the final chores on your list. The two of you stood in the middle of the living room and looked around proudly at the work you had accomplished. It looked as good as new.

“I’d buy this place,” Shawn said turning around. “We did pretty fucking good.”

“You bet we did,” you replied as Shawn gave you a high five.

It went quiet again as you faced Shawn, resting your head on his chest before he pressed a kiss to your head and rubbed his hand up and down your back.

“I have to tell you something,” you whispered.

Shawn felt his heart drop to his stomach as he nodded his head and you pulled away.

“I’m going to the University of Phoenix,” you said.

Shawn tried to hide his disappointment as he plastered on a smile.

“That’s fantastic,” he said quietly.

“You didn’t let me finish,” you said with a small smile and your eyebrows knit together.

He nodded at you to continue.

“University of Phoenix online program,” you finished.

Shawn breathed a sigh of relief before pulling you into his arms and rocking you back and forth.

“You can’t scare me like that,” he said through a breathy laugh.

“Well maybe you should let me finish talking,” you said as you leaned back and rested your hands on the sides of his face.

“I think this is going to be really good for me,” you said with a genuine smile on your face. “I can live with Meg in Washington for a while. My grandparents have a guest house in Texas. Maybe a week here and there in North Carolina.”

“And me in Toronto,” he added.

“And you in Toronto, of course,” you said.

“And wherever I may end up in the next few years, you’re always welcome,” he whispered as he pressed his forehead against yours.

“You planning on keeping me around that long?” You teased.

“I plan on keeping you around much longer,” he suggested.

You finally pressed your lips against his as he held you tightly against him.

You spent your final night packing up your things before you and Shawn had one last fire.

You were tucked against him on the swing as you relaxed into him.

You had never felt this way before.

After a few minutes of serene silence, Shawn finally spoke up.

“Big Dipper.”

“Little Dipper.”

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mylittlemarston · 4 years

Note

Hello 🖤 may I ask you to write 52 John. freader or gnread it’s up to you.

OHMYGOD i enjoyed writing this so much. I imagined myself in the situation to help me write it, so I hope that helped make it descriptive!! Here it is!!

————-

warnings: none

FLUFF

word count: 2008

tags: @gangofgunslingers

————-

52 “I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death”

John Marston x Female Reader

You’ve been in the camp for about a year now, found by Arthur after you were thrown into a fight at the local saloon. He saw that you had potential, fighting for yourself pretty damn good. He brought you to their camp in Blackwater, and almost immediately the girls there became your friends. Ms. Grimshaw gave you a bit of a tour, introducing you to everyone. Everyone introduced themselves and started a conversation, but there was one person who didn’t—

John Marston.

“Mr. Marston, this is Y/N.” He looked up at you but quickly looked down to the ground, kicking the rocks underneath him and grumbling a quiet “Hey.” You could’ve sworn that you saw him blushing, but didn’t want to say anything else to him if he wasn’t ready to talk to you. Instead, Grimshaw took you to the next person to introduce you to.

There was something about him, whether it be his unique voice or the way he walked. Whatever it was, it caused butterflies to flourish in your stomach every time he talked to you or you got paired with him for a job. You knew he had a son and a girlfriend, but that didn’t stop your imagination from running wild. You often wondered at night what it would feel like with his arm wrapped around your waist when you walked somewhere or what it would feel like to run your fingers through his hair while he dozes off with his head laid in your lap as you read a book. What his lips would feel like against yours after he comes back from a dangerous job. You know these things won’t happen, but a girl can dream… right? You shake the thoughts away and standing up, stretching while you do. It’s a peaceful and pretty morning, sunny and breezy. You get dressed and head out of your tent, making your way to get a cup of coffee and sit by the warm campfire. You slowly sip the warm liquid and close your eyes, taking in the morning. You hear footsteps behind you and you open your eyes again. “Mornin’ Y/N.” It’s John. You two are friends and jokingly flirt when you need to at the saloon to prevent anything from happening to the other. John has gotten shit-face drunk and flirted for real, but you just shook it off-

maybe he thinks you’re Abigail or something.

John takes a seat next to you, drinking his own coffee as well. You smile and turn to him. “Good morning, John.” He smiles back at you and relaxes, closing his eyes. He scoots a little closer to you and rests his hand behind where your sitting, and you just dare him to move up to the small of your back. This moment of peace is ruined by the one and only—

“John Marston!” Abigail yells from their tent. She’s too far away to see where his hand is, but he very slowly and carefully moves it anyways. You drop your head down and look into your cup as she walks over. “Hey Abigail.” You say, her face turning into a scout as you greet her. “John, I think Jack is sick. Would you mind going into town and getting him some medicine?” A question she knew he wouldn’t refuse. He nods at her and looks back at you before walking away. She walks with him over to Old Boy, and you see them talking about something but can’t hear. John throws his hands up in the air and grabs the reins, leaving quickly. Abigail walks back over to you with her arms crossed and a frown. “Y/N. You stay away from him, you hear?!” she says jabbing her finger at the air pointing at you. You smile sweetly, giving a puzzled look at the same time. “What ever do you mean Ms-“ Neither of you can say anything more as Hosea calls your name. “Y/N, we’ve got a job for you.” You give her a smirk and walk away.

Hosea said that it was probably better if John was there with you when he went over the job. He told you that he could tell things were getting tense so he called you away from Abigail. John rides in three hours later, and with Abigail in their tent you make your way over to him. “Hey.” You say to him, watching as he hitches his horse and turning to you. “Hey.” He says. You look around and look back up at him before wrapping your arms around him. You feel him tense up, but god did he love the feeling of your arms around his torso. He wanted to lift you up off the ground and kiss you and hold you. Tell you that he’s there for you. But he didn’t. He can’t. After a few seconds you pull away, and you mumble a few flustered words. He chuckles and looks down at you. “She’s gorgeous.” is all he can think to himself as you fidget with your fingers red-faced. “We should probably go to Hosea. He has a job for us.” You tell him, turning away. He studies you, the way you walk with so much grace, the way your dress hugs you perfectly in all the right places. He sighs, catching up with you.

“You shouldn’t be gone for too long, maybe a day or so. Five days at the longest.” Hosea starts off. “Braithwate moonshine can be sold for a pretty penny, but you gotta play both sides. Gray and Braithwate. Now how you actually get the shine is up to you. Now, there’s also some business that can be done with Seamus involving some stagecoaches and horses. Figured you two would be the best at acting and lying. Think you can do it?” John nodded his head. “Definitely.” You said, almost eager considering you get to spend time with John. “Very well then. You leave tomorrow.” Hosea finished with a smile. You walked away with John and started playfully teasing like you normally do. He studied you again, this time focusing on your smile and how your hair fell loosely behind your shoulder as you threw your head back in laughter. His cheeks darkened to a shade of pink again, but he quickly turned away with his hat’s shadow covering his face. You notice and giggle at the gesture. “We should get some rest. It’s late.” You suggest, and John doesn’t argue with that statement. “You’re right. Goodnight Y/N. I’ll see you in the mornin’.” You wave goodbye and walk to your tent. You hear Abigail yelling at him as you zip the flaps and change into your chemise nightgown and lay on your bedroll. You ponder for a moment, imagining how the job will go. Then you smile and feel your cheeks get hot as you think about John again. You thought about the hug you gave him and how warm he felt. You fell asleep, your imagination running wild as you dreamt.

As you slowly sit up and rub the sleep from your eyes, you notice a shadow outside your tent. You got up and unzipped the flaps, greeted by John with a cup of coffee for you. “Mornin’ girlie.” He says with a bright smile that warms your heart. You step out into the grass, wet with rain and dew. “Mornin’.” You say giving him a smile of your own, taking the cup of coffee with a thank you and taking a sip. “When should we head for this job?” He asks you suddenly. You almost didn’t even hear him as you were spacing out. “After I wake up a bit more I’ll be ready to go. just gotta change before I do.” He nods, taking another sip of his coffee.

It’s about 11 am now, and you had just finished putting your weapons on your horse, stroking his mane afterwards. “Alright. We ready to go?” John asks you after packing his weapons as well. “Yep. Let’s go!” You say, jumping onto your horse and praising him quietly and gently. John gets on his horse and leads the way, you following suit and riding side-by-side. You’ll never get used to the view of the mountains and the town from a high advantage point, taking in the fresh air and scenery. “So uh,” you start, coming out of your moment of relaxation. “what the hell was Abigail beratin’ you for last night? She seemed pretty pissed.” John scoffs. “She was. Told me to stay away from you, spend more time with a kid that probably ain’t even mine, ya know.” You nod, wondering how she can be so cruel to a man so perfect. “Well, no offense, but that girl don’t deserve you if she don’t see how great you are. You got that? Forget about what she says. We ain’t gotta be back at camp for a while. Let’s just have some fun.” He smiles and chuckles. 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘺? he wonders to himself. He can’t help but notice your horse starting to pick up speed, and he starts to pick up speed as well. “Race ya!” You yell back at him, who is already a good distance behind. “Ha! Yeah right!” He yells back, both of you laughing.

Either he let you win, or he really tried and lost

You make it to the Braithwate mansion and get that job over with. You two ended up having fun, giving it away at the local saloon for free, pouring drinks like your lives depended on it. You walk out the saloon laughing with your arms linked. He turns to you and gives a loving gaze, before reaching for your waist to pull you in for a kiss, but halts when he realizes how wrong it is. He clears his throat and looks away awkwardly. The only sounds are yelling from inside the saloon, crickets chirping, and the wind blowing followed by the rustling of trees. You close your eyes as you let the wind sweep you away, feeling calm and at ease. “Sorry, judy wanted to take in the stars.” You say, turning back to him. “S’okay.” He says, head down and avoiding eye contact. You get on your horses and ride back to the mansion.

“Thanks for the job, Mrs. Braithwate.” You tell her, walking away. John already booked rooms at the hotel, so all you had to do was check in. The ride there was silent, and when you pulled up to the hotel there wasn’t anything but a desolate street. It was calming. John cleared his throat, and you could tell something was wrong. He tries to walk into the building, but you grab his wrist making him turn to you. “Hey, what’s goin’ on? We were having fun… What changed?” You ask him with genuine concern in your voice. He fidgets after you let his wrist go and slowly raising his head to look at you, he clears his throat. “Y/N, I uh… I-I think… 𝗜 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗺𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵.” You’re shocked by his words, but a good kind of shocked. He looks away again. “I knew you didn’t feel the same. I shoulda known… I don’t deserve you.” You tear up a bit, cringing at the painful words he says about himself. You go to say something, but instead lean up and kiss him deeply, letting you know you feel the same way. He puts his hands on your waist and pulls you closer to him, deepening the kiss even more. It’s passionate and romantic, with the spring breeze blowing your hair gently and the leaves rattling. You both pull away very slowly. “I think I love you too.” You tell him smiling. He smiles back at you, and he kisses you again.

#john marston x female reader #fluff #fic #writing #red dead redemption 2 #red dead fic #fanfic #arthur morgan x reader #post #mylittlemarston #gangofgunslingers

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