#read the book last night and i didnt realize it was so much sadder than the movie

[bleufrost]

Frozen Embers || Chapter Two

Loki x reader

Series Preview/General Story Guide

Warnings: swearing, very conflicted emotions, some violence but nothing bad

Series summary: Growing up under the guidance of S.H.I.E.L.D, you were trained from the moment you could walk to be a good agent. You were everything you needed to be, but the emotions and empathy that ran through your blood tainted all of your hard work. One day, you are given the chance to prove yourself by being assigned to the cell of Loki, the god of mischief. Quickly, icy walls begin to melt as you both realize that your time together is bringing forth a mix of flame and frost that can only end in chaos.

Original request by: @procrastinatinglikeabitch

Masterlist

A/N: MY HIATUS DIDNT LAST THAT LONG!! YAY! im trying not to let myself wallow too much because i feel like laying in bed all day just makes me sadder, so lets try to write instead haha

and here we have chapter twooo! after this it gets a lot more...interesting. as always, i hope you guys enjoy, and love you all!

As you walk over to the training deck to meet Fury, your mind can't help but turn over the events that had just transpired. Loki had acted so nonchalant as you left, if not for the vocalization of his desire to see you again, you would have thought him to be indifferent about the entire situation. 

But he had called out to you. He had made it very clear that seeing you again was not only something he would endure, but also something that he wanted. It made your heart beat rapidly in your chest and brought a smile to your face. You weren’t foolish enough to believe that the words meant anything, the way in which he had spoken them promised nothing but a craving to simply not be alone, yet you were still somewhat giddy. 

"I hope to hell that smile isn't a result of you meeting that psychotic motherfucker." You quickly replace the look on your face with one of annoyance and roll your eyes at Fury. "That's real mature, sir. Maybe I'm smiling because I get to see your pretty face." 

Fury chuckles but you instantly regret the banter when you see him look up. "Barton! Smartass here wants to act like a punk, I was going to have her train with one of the new cadets, but why don’t we have her work with you again instead?” Fury smiles at you, giving you a mock salute as he heads for the door. You groan and get ready for another ass kicking at the hands of your favorite archer.

***********************

As your head slams against the mat for the seemingly hundredth time that afternoon, Clint comes once again to reach a hand out to you and pull you up. You give him your hand, but this time you let all your weight drop as he moves to pull. For almost anyone else, that would’ve ended in him falling to the mat beside you; Clint wasn’t anyone else though. He gives you a disapproving look, but quickly softens when he sees how genuinely exhausted you are. 

“You alright kid?” You lift your knees up, resting your arms against the tops of them as you let out a long sigh. Clint takes that as his cue, and gently takes a seat beside you.

“I met Loki today.” He becomes visibly uncomfortable at the mention of the god’s name, rightfully so considering the things he had endured at the mercy of Loki. 

“I don’t know why they’re sending you in to do that kind of stuff. You’re too young to be dealing with things like that.”

“Well, I have to prove myself somehow, right? I’m just not sure how smoothly this will go.” Clint places a hand on your knee and squeezes gently. “If it gets bumpy, I’m right here.” You offer Clint a smile before pushing yourself up and reaching your hand out to help lift him too. 

That night you couldn’t sleep. Every time your eyes fell shut, you saw the mischievous god smiling before you. That same feeling of uncertainty settled in the pit of your stomach as you pondered over whether you should run to or from the god. All the warning signs, every instinct you had been taught, gut feelings and red flags; none of it mattered. You always chose to run to him and that should have been a huge signal to abort, but you couldn’t. 

Or maybe you just didn’t want to.

In the morning you were barely able to register waking up because you couldn’t remember falling asleep in the first place. 

You took extra care in the bathroom after leaving your bed; something you didn’t want to admit to. For some reason your hand reached for the perfume you had for special occasions. He wouldn’t be able to smell you through the walls of the cell, so why do it? You put on another black protocol outfit, but this time it was one you felt confident in; one you felt irresistible in. You don’t even fully realize you had done any of that until you finally snap out of it. 

Standing in front of the heavy metal door once more, you slide your key in just like yesterday. Your heeled boots click against the cold tile just as they did last time, but this time you don’t waver or try to stop the noise. You want him to know you’re coming. 

Loki had spent the entire day thinking about you. It was in no way something he found any pride in, in fact he was nearly humiliated by just how much of his time had been consumed by thoughts of you. He was trying to justify it in his mind; you were the first being he had come in contact with for quite some time, there was nothing special about you specifically. He would have been just as relieved to see the man of iron as he was to see you. Deep down though, he knew this wasn’t the case. 

There had been something about you that sparked his curiosity. You were an agent, that he knew. What he could not for the life of him understand is how you could be so wide eyed and innocent. You were so gentle, so kind hearted, so delicately human. In this case though, Loki felt that being so was not a downfall. On you, humanity was radiant and he was desperate to interact with you more. 

He would get that wish very soon.

"Loki?" Your voice rang through the hall as you stared at the god, trying to call his attention. Loki grinned, but you didn't take notice as he wiped the smile from his face before turning away from the wall to face you.

"Pet, you've returned." Walking toward you nearly silently, his face took on the familiar mischievous look that you had already grown to recognize. You could tell immediately that he was going to take any opportunity he could to be condescending or make you feel the necessity to leave, so you decided early on that you wouldn't give him the chance.

"I brought something. It's obviously not going to be as entertaining as I'm sure you're used to, but I thought you might enjoy it nonetheless." Smiling, you sat cross legged on the floor in front of him. 

Loki stayed standing for a moment, his mischief laced demeanor slowly transforming to one of curiosity as he pondered over whether or not to trust what you had brought him. 

You took notice of his hesitancy, and brought your bag out to open in front of you. Pulling out two books, you laid them down for him to see, smiling gently up at him to encourage him to take a closer look and, perhaps, trust you. The god still seemed unsure, but he finally leaned down to see what you had taken the time to bring.

"Hamlet…" His fingers reached out to trace the glass by each title as he read their names aloud. "...Frankenstein; or, the Modern Prometheus…" 

His eyes were filled with questioning as he finally looked back up to you. "What am I to do with these? I cannot take them inside of my cell." Suddenly you got nervous as you wondered if offering to read to a god was truly a childish act. Your stomach filled with worry and subtle regret that nearly closed around your throat before you cleared it of the unmistakable fear and spoke up.

"I was thinking we could read together, or at least I could read to you for a while. It's...difficult to trust someone new at first and I don't expect you to want to speak to me right away. I know I wouldn't want to if I were in your position. I figured, hearing someone else's story can be a bit more comforting than sharing your own, at least for now." Your cheeks took on a pink tint as you mustered the courage to look him in the eye and grew self conscious of the rambling mess that had flown from your lips. 

"Do all humans speak so much when they are nervous?" Looking down quickly, the twist of your gut could be felt again as your embarrassment grew. "I'm sorry." The light sound of amusement startled you, and Loki stayed leaning down still and laughing; at you most likely. You had the urge to leave, but just as you moved to turn away from him Loki sat down in front of you and smiled, this one was different though, it felt oddly sincere. 

"Don't apologize. It's oddly endearing to see one act so unabashedly human." Loki reached his hands up and spread them out to indicate the two books. "Now, pet. Which story would you prefer to start with?" 

Nearly four hours later, the two of you were still there reading from Mary Shelley's classic story. Your bodies had shifted several times, at first keeping that distance between you. As the hours flew by though, you both found yourselves sat with your sides pressed against the glass next to each other. It almost felt like the layer that separated your bodies wasn't there at times, but it was and it would permanently remain so. 

You shouldn't want it to be gone, it was there to protect you. It was there to ensure he could never hurt you. That he could never grab you, or touch you, or hold you. 

You needed to stop thinking like that. It wasn't safe, he wasn't safe; right? 

"Pet, you've grown quiet." His voice startled you out of your thoughts and suddenly you realized just how close you two had become. You sat up suddenly and shut the book, doing everything in your power to not alert Loki to the fact that your heart was thumping loudly in your chest. Your hands shook slightly and you wrung them together to hide the telltale sign of nervousness. 

"Sorry, I think I'm feeling a little tired. I'll be back soon okay?" You tried your best to put on the most convincing smile you could and watched as he nodded slowly. He didn't believe that you were completely alright, but he also was not about to beg you to stay...at least not out loud. 

"Alright, rest up little one. I will await your return with every fiber of my being." It was a shock to hear him say that, and your face unfortunately let it show as he quickly turned away and went to busy himself with something else within his cell. 

Did he really just admit that he was waiting for you to come back? That he wanted you to come back to him? Of course he had said a similar thing the first time you met, but this time it felt far more profound, far more personal. Your head was a mess as you left the holding area and made your way back to your room. 

***********************

Once again, your mind raced with concerns and confusion all night. You had only just met the god and still felt so tightly bound to him, it wasn't natural. There had to be some sort of explanation for what was happening. He had mind controlled Clint before, he could be doing the same to you, right? No. He had held the power of the Tesseract then and no longer wielded such power now. 

In that case, it must be your own fatal flaw. You were a disgrace for a S.H.I.E.L.D agent because your empathy ran too high and too untamed. Now was no different and you had to learn to control your emotions if you were ever going to figure out the god and report your findings to the agency. You wanted to understand him...but did you really want to betray him? 

Unbeknownst to you, your fearful conflict was shared in the mind and heart of Loki himself as he paced within his holding cell. He had allowed it to slip that he awaited your return to him in a far more intimate way than he should have allowed, and that made him feel utterly humiliated. He was a god and you were nothing but a puny human, but even he could not deny that your lack of anger or restraint in allowing yourself to be open and understanding toward him was enchanting. It comforted him to know someone so gentle could care for him. But you didn’t care for him, did you? 

The general panic and unease that was shared between you both seemed to transcend any wall or cage that kept you from each other. Neither one of you were able to share any communication as you lay in your bed and he in his cell, yet there was a connection that caused you both to understand you weren't alone.

It was all in one a comfort and an unwavering cause for alarm to know that you held such a strong connection to someone you had nearly just met. As much as you tried to fight it off, It was undeniable that a flame was ignited, and fires like these only proved to grow with every attempt to extinguish them.

_______________________

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#loki #tom hiddleston #marvel #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #marvel x reader #loki odinson #loki odinson x reader #loki fanfic #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddelston imagine #tom hiddleston fanfic #marvel x you #thor #avengers

[faithlehanemademegay]

doing that thing where i answer questions about my year bc i did it in 2015 and 2016 here we go

1:What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? had not one but TWO relationships of some type (!!), dealt w/ actual heartbreak, had one girlfriend, moved to a city 100% on my own, came out to a shit ton of ppl, interned, had a job where i was not sexually harassed (go madewell), ok there’s literally so much more i dont even know what else to include  2:Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? my ones from last year were: “stop dealing with other people’s shit, learn to love urself (even if other ppl don’t show that towards me), don’t fuck up anymore with drinking, do more things outside of school than just going out” DAMn binch i did all of these things. go me. um this year i think i’m gonna focus on myself but also be okay if u focus on others (ie relationships) and also be okay with heartbreak and instead of hiding it be okay with those emotions 3:Did anyone close to you give birth? nope 4:Did anyone close to you die? uuummmmmmm i dont think so????? 5:What countries did you visit? wow y’all i stayed in the U.S. this year that’s a first 6:What would you like to have in 2017 that you lacked in 2016? last year i said a girlfriend and this year i say a girlfriend who doesn’t move to chicago haha who can relate 7:What dates from 2016 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? some nights from this summer in ny (even when i was lonely as hell), every moment with kelsey (including saying goodbye), many concerts this was a good year for concerts, literally that is all but like i had a pretty good year  8:What was your biggest achievement of the year? getting hired at madewell and to still work there wtf, getting an internship in ny (yeah BABY), moving to nyc alone and not dying???, going on my first dates ever this year even if some of them sucked, having relationships that were either really good or not that good, FINALLY coming out to myself and close family/friends as a lesbian, discovering the women’s studies major and realizing why i wanna be in school 9:What was your biggest failure? this is gonna sound cheesy but i literally dont know 2017 was actually good personally (like yeah it sucked as a whole but for me personally so many good things happened) 10:Did you suffer illness or injury? yeah i had that thing where i was sick for like an entire month this fall perks of dating someone 11:What was the best thing you bought? oh boy oh boy clothes bc nyc, some good ass concert tickets 12:Whose behaviour merited celebration? i dont like this question what does this mean…….. 13:Whose behaviour made you appalled? my roommates from the summer were pretty shitty bc they said some homophobic shit 14:Where did most of your money go? clothes (rip nyc) and bougie ass dinners with expensive ass wine (rip nyc again) 15:What did you get really, really, really excited about? all i gotta say here is nyc that is aaalllll  16:What song will always remind you of 2017? american dream by lcd soundsystem 17:Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? © richer or poorer? sooooo much happier even tho i’m in a really bad spot right this second bc of kelsey like everything else is really good, uhhhh thinner i think bc i started dancing again, poorer rip 18:What do you wish you’d done more of? spent more time with kelsey, got out of my comfort zone in nyc even more than i did (like meet more ppl even tho i met a ton of ppl), and also like hang out with friends i feel like i didnt go out that much this year bc i was swamped with so much shit 19:What do you wish you’d done less of? crying (lol a repeat from last  year), literally just wish i did less... stuff this past semester i had no time for myself bc i kept myself way too busy 20:How did you spend Christmas? xmas hasn’t happened yet 21:Did you fall in love in 2017? hmmmmm yeah i would say i did (i’m emo again) 22:What was your favourite TV program? new twin peaks!! 23:Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? honestly no wow i’ve gotten so much less petty than last year 24:What was the best book you read? have not had a single time to read for pleasure this year except for rn i’m reading call me by your name and i know it’ll be the best book of the year for me  25:What was your greatest musical discovery? beach fossils, angel olsen, snail mail (lmao i only listen to snail mail bc the drummer goes to my school and i’m friends w/ him but like they’re so good) 26:What did you want and get? first a “relationship” that wasn’t really real but like it was something even tho i was only in it bc it was my first time, then i got a good relationship that was too good to be true tbh, um an internship, good ass friends (@ nico) 27:What did you want and not get? a girlfriend that would last over winter break and not move to chicago 28:What was your favourite film of this year? call me by your name of fucking course 29:What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? nyc, kelsey (kelsey kelsey kelsey), a job tbh??? 30:How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2016? def getting more into pants def getting more of that fashun lesbian look which i’m into but also still def wearing whatever the fuck i want and still calling it fashion ALSO nyc made me better in terms of style like wowza 31:What kept you sane? kelsey, my friends that i know will be my friends for life after this year, nyc 32:Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? timothee chalamet my son, also angel olsen not a celebrity but i’m in love with her 33:What political issue stirred you the most? trump/pence once again, but getting more into gender/sexuality politics bc of my women’s studies major 34:Who did you miss? kelsey that’s literally it (gonna miss my best friend nico next semester when he’s in china tho :-( ) 35:Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. it’s okay to be alone at times (@ nyc), don’t confuse happiness w/ a specific someone with happiness with having a someone in general, be true to urself/be unapologetic in who u are (this is about me being a lesbian), love actually doesn’t suck it’s actually a cool awesome feeling and savor it while it lasts, actual real heartbreak does fucking suck, if u want something go for it and do it without thinking about it too much (@ nyc again) 36:Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. i’m too lazy to think of some rn sorryyy