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roguerambles · 1 year

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A Contest of Kings

Record of Ragnarök - Male Reader x Poseidon x Hades x Zeus

Warnings - 18+ Only. Adult Situations.

Alright, full disclosure, @icy-spicy’s “A Broken Bet” inspired this, so credit/blame goes to her! (pssst btw go check her out, she’s awesome)

I imagine this is the same Reader from the “Son of Aphrodite” fics, just before Ragnarök. Enjoy some Big Three shenanigans!

The celebration on Olympus had lulled somewhat, and Hades found himself enjoying a surprising moment of companionship with his brothers.

Tucked away in a corner of the gardens, the three brothers shared glasses of ambrosia, the sounds of laughter and music perfuming the air, all three watching the crowd dance and mingle. It was rare for Hades to have both Poseidon and Zeus together with him like this, and he found himself smiling fondly as Zeus slung his arm around Poseidon’s shoulders, enthusiastically talking about “the time he bested Father in combat once and for all” as though Poseidon had not been witness to the event.

“What are you three doing over here?”

Hades glanced up to see you approach, breathless and grinning, a faint sheen on sweat coating your skin from dancing. Your golden sheer silks clung to your hips and arms, highlighting the curves of your body. Aphrodite’s beauty shone through all of her offspring, and you were certainly no exception.

“Enjoying a moment of respite.” Hades raised his glass in your direction, arching a brow as Zeus detangled himself from Poseidon, leaning back in his seat with a grin. He patted his muscular thigh invitingly, and his smile grew wider as you slid into his lap, your arm coiling around his broad shoulders, fingers toying with his golden hair.

Poseidon rolled his eyes slightly, while Hades shook his head, and Zeus shamelessly stared at your pectorals right under his nose.

“You make yourself sound so old.” You huffed, leaning against Zeus’s shoulder, shifting your weight slightly – your thigh flashed in Hades’s vision, the loose, semi-transparent fabric of your toga riding up, exposing toned muscle, an entirely accidental move on your part, Hades was sure. “Zeus tells stories, you know. You three had some fun in between all the Titan fighting.”

Hades shot Zeus a look, and his brother only grinned in response, his palm sliding slowly over your hip. He cleared his throat sharply, nodding his head across the crowd, where Hera chatted with Aphrodite and Hestia.

Zeus pouted and reluctantly removed his hand.

Poseidon rolled his eyes again.

You eventually returned to the celebration, fingertips trailing across Zeus’s shoulders, your lips brushing Hades’s cheek. You even managed to coax the ghost of smile from Poseidon’s perpetually cold expression as you walked away, your smirk playful. The three brothers quietly watched as you melted into the crowd, and Hades forced his gaze back to Zeus, whose own eyes were watching your rear. “Do not even think about it, brother.”

“Too late.”

Poseidon scoffed under his breath, and Hades huffed, shaking his head with bemusement. “You’re incorrigible.” He shoved Zeus lightly with his foot. “I bet you could not go a single month without throwing yourself at some pretty thing.”

Zeus turned to him, looking vaguely indignant at the implication he couldn’t do something. “I could so!” He huffed, his eyes flickering back to the crowd. “Although why I’d deny myself the pleasure, I cannot imagine.” He flashed a wide, wicked grin at Hades. “Come now, brother. Tell me those long, lonely winter months without Persephone wouldn’t pass a little easier with him warming your bed?”

Hades lowered his glass to the table, his expression smooth. “Do you really wish to pull at that thread, brother dear?”

Zeus had the decency to at least look a little sheepish. Poseidon said nothing, seemingly content to ignore his brothers. Hades tapped his fingers against the table, studying Zeus with a thoughtful eye, before sharply shaking his head. “Never mind. You couldn’t do it.”

Hades might have imagined it, but he swore Zeus almost looked stung by his stated lack of faith in him. The King of Olympus sat upright, his expression growing uncharacteristically serious. “A month? Very well.” He held out his hand for Hades, who stared at it in surprise. “I accept your challenge.” He smiled smugly, practically brimming with confidence. “I trust you agree to the same terms?”

Hades laughed, still surprised. “I wasn’t trying to bed him in the first place, Zeus.”

Zeus smirked at him, a gleam in his eyes. “Well, well, look who is backing down….” He turned to Poseidon, his grin growing wider. “I don’t think our big brother thinks he could resist the offer if it was made.”

“I have no part of this.” Poseidon replied dryly, looking completely disinterested.

Zeus laughed and punched Poseidon’s arm, ignoring the flash of indignation on his brother’s face when he did so. “I doubt you could either.” Zeus waved his hand dismissively. “All of your talk of being a “perfect being” your still as weak for pleasures of the flesh as the rest of us.”

Hades felt his brows shoot upwards, watching as Poseidon’s face twisted into an angry sneer. “Brother—”

“Do not mistake me for you.” He snarled, turning his fierce glare on Zeus, who simply smiled serenely in response. “I am perfection.”

“Then you’ll agree as well.” He held out his hand in front of him, eyeing his brothers with a smug grin. “One month.”

“Fine.” Poseidon spat, before forcing his expression back into his usual stoic mask. Hades shook his head, sighing at his brothers antics, before placing his hand on top of theirs.

“Very well. One month.”

The three Kings nodded and soon fell back into their previous atmosphere with each other, unaware of your curious gaze watching them from a distance…

“Can’t do it, he says….” Zeus grumbled to himself as he walked down the shadowed halls of Olympus, the dwindling sounds of the party at his back. “Well, look at me, Hades! Going to bed early. On my own. Take that!”

There were a bevy of lovely, voluptuous nymphs literally calling his name in the fountains outside, but Zeus, King of the Gods, nobly resisted temptation. A veritable harem of handsome satyrs in the gardens, beckoning him to follow with hooded eyes and alluring voices but Zeus did not give in.

“I’ve heard mortals say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness.”

Zeus halted in place, his head swivelling around. You emerged from behind a column, draped in gold and silk, and Zeus swallowed thickly.

“I…am not mortal.” Zeus cleared his throat, forcing his back straight, trying to ignore how good you looked bathed in torchlight, the tempting flashes of skin between your silks as you moved towards him.

“Indeed you are not.” You purred, reaching up to trail your fingertips along his chest, humming deep in your chest as you openly admired his strong, muscular body.

Fates, he wanted to fuck you so badly—

Zeus opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was fled his mind as you stepped back, letting your silks spill down your arms and hips, leaving you gloriously naked under his gaze.

“What are you waiting for?” You asked, wearing nothing but your smile and desire on your face.

Zeus had absolutely no idea.

He darted after you as you raced down the hall, your laughter in his ears, all thoughts of the challenge or proving himself to Hades washed from his mind as he sank into the delicious warmth of your embrace.

“Good morning, Poseidon.”

The King of the Seas could not guess how long you had been perched at the edge of his dining room table. Pearls draped across your neck and collarbones, falling down your chest and abdomen. They were all that covered you, and if Poseidon had been a lesser being, his gaze might have lingered.

He walked past you, heading for his usual spot at the other end of the table, awaiting for breakfast to be brought by his servants. You sighed dramatically, rolling your head back to follow him with your eyes. “Rude.”

Poseidon said nothing, sitting down and waiting patiently. You lay back on the table, naked body on shameless display, and Poseidon wasn’t staring.

He wasn’t.

“Perhaps it is for the best…” You mused loudly, playing with a string of pearls. “I would not want to overwhelm you. You would struggle keep up, I fear…”

Poseidon felt his eye twitch at the implication he was less than perfect at anything. You were goading him; it was transparently obvious. He would not fall for such a petty ploy—

“You are not as…experienced as your brothers, after all.”

The servants entered with breakfast. Poseidon shoved his chair back with a loud screech, and began marching down the length of the table towards you, a storm in his eyes. “Out.” He bellowed at his servants, who could not have fled any faster.

You smiled triumphantly as Poseidon seized your ankle, yanking you roughly across the table towards him, sliding between your thighs with purpose. “Oh, are you sure? I wouldn’t want—”

“They will hear you screaming on Olympus.” Poseidon growled, shoving you down against the table and climbing on, crashing down upon you with the force of a tidal wave.

Hades slammed you on top of his desk, yanking the loose fabric of your pants down your hips.

You moaned and arched in his grasp, tilting your head to give his hot, eager mouth better access to your throat. The sight made some primal roar deep in his belly and he tore impatiently at your undergarments, as your fingers tugged open his shirt and raked greedily down his long, toned chest.

“I should visit the Underworld more often.” You gasped, swinging your thigh across his hip as Hades rolled you onto the desk, sliding on top of you with a low groan. Ever since Zeus’s comments in the gardens he’d been unable to get you out of his mind, the idea of you in his bed, writhing with passion in his arms, bouncing with wanton lust on his cock—

“Perhaps you should.” Hades murmured against your skin, before his lips seized yours. He would fuck you on his desk, then move the bedchamber.

You were more than happy to go along with his wishes.

“Well.” Hades said after a few moments of silence. “I must admit, I am a little disappointed in us all.”

“I’m not.” Zeus said cheerfully, clapping Hades’s shoulder. “His ass was worth it.”

Poseidon said nothing, but Hades noticed he was avoiding his and Zeus’s eyes more than usual. A little embarrassment, perhaps?

You were unbearably smug, pacing the length of your bedchamber with a delighted grin. “Three Kings, all in a row…” You sighed dreamily, winking playfully at Hades. “Do not worry, you were all marvellous.”

Zeus practically preened, while Poseidon scoffed, as if to say well obviously. Hades simply sighed and shook his head. “I suppose in the end, you won our ill-advised gamble.”

“I suppose I did.” You smiled wickedly. “And what a reward it was. Well, rewards.”

Hades chuckled, while Zeus leaned over you, grinning playfully. “So….?” His hand snaked around your waist. “Who was best?”

Hades closed his eyes. “Zeus…”

“What? I’m just curious what he has to say.” He nudged you with a coy smirk. “You can say me, they won’t mind.”

Poseidon frowned at his brother, while you tapped your fingers against your cheek, eyeing them thoughtfully. “Oh…you know, I can’t decide.”

“What?” Poseidon spoke suddenly, looking insulted. Which made the room feel particularly unsafe.

“Oh, don’t pout, Poseidon, I am the most experienced…hey!” Zeus turned to you with a scandalised look, eyebrows flying into his hairline. “What are you saying? I did the thing, with the lightning—”

“Which was delicious, I assure you.” You patted Zeus’s cheek affectionately, looking suspiciously like a cat with cream. Hades watched you, feeling heat pool low in his belly. “But you all had…strong points. Is that not enough.”

“Absolutely not.” Poseidon waved his hand – the door suddenly slammed shut behind him, and he advanced on you with fire in his eyes. “Get on the bed.”

“Yeah!” Zeus slipped the strap of his toga off his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground, leaving him shamelessly naked as he started pulling at your clothes. “We’re not leaving until you pick one!”

You looked extremely pleased by this turn of events, and Hades was fairly certain he and his brothers had played directly into your clever hands. He moved between Zeus and Poseidon as though to stop them – instead, his hand grasped your shoulder, and he shoved you backwards onto the bed.

“I think its time he learned a little respect.” Hades slipped his shirt off, keeping his eyes directly on yours, a smile tugging at the edge of his mouth. “Don’t you agree, brothers?”

You crawled back up the bed, excitement flaring in your eyes. “I am eager to learn.”

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kanroji-san · 8 months

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Hades: In 10 years, I guarantee, I will be Y/n's second husband~

Zeus:...What will happen to her first spouse?

Hades:...Nothing you can prove

#record of ragnarok #shumatsu no valkyrie #ror #snv #record of ragnarok x reader #ror x reader #snv x reader #record of ragnarok hades #ror hades #snv hades #hades #ror hades x reader #snv hades x reader #hades x reader #record of ragnarok zeus #ror zeus #snv zeus #zeus

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luxthestrange · 2 months

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RoR Incorrect quotes#172 Such a lil gentleman-

Hermes*Feels his coat tail being tugged and sees...you one of the humans Brunhilde adores*

Y/n: I hope this isn’t too forward but...*reveals a tiny frog in his cupped hands* -I caught you a frog

Frog*Squeaks cutely at him*

Hermes:...

In Spongebob's voice" A phew moments later"

Hermes*Smilliing looking at Zeus holding his resignation...the tiny frog with a bow tie and top hat resting on his shoulder* -and that’s when I knew I would be marrying that human, Apologies sir but I'm switching to the humans~

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #ror #snv #ror hermes #snv hermes #ror hermes x reader #snv hermes x reader #ror zeus #snv zeus #ror incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes

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nameless-flame · 6 months

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RoR gods reactions to you calling Poseidon a 💅Drama Queen💅

RoR and fem!Reader crack below the cut

Seated along the round table, various prominent figures of each pantheon waited, some more patiently than others, for the mortal standing before them to reveal what she had summoned them for.

[Name] cleared her throat, putting an end to the idle chatter that had previously filled the walls of the old-fashioned conference room. "I have called you to this meeting to discuss a matter of utmost importance."

Shiva rolled his neck, allowing his eyes to freely wander between the faces of the gods – all deemed to be high figures in their respective pantheon – some even belonging to the same one. And yet, there was one man missing.

Leaning his chair back, the God of Destruction balanced himself with two hands holding onto the edge of the table, whilst his remaining two rested behind his head. "Where's that sea deity?"

Shooting a glare in Shiva’s direction, [Name] resumed talking. “If you had not so rudely interrupted me you would have known why.”

The blue man merely rolled his eyes. He had long before grown used to her more… unmannerly way of addressing them. Her disrespectful attitude had at first irked him, and many other deities, but eventually whatever ill feelings they initially harboured toward her soon evolved into intrigue, and later friendship. Some even more than that.

Seeing how the god had not argued back, the human continued. "As for why Sea Boy isn’t here with us today, I didn’t invite him.”

Hades’ brows flickered and he paused his chess match with Zeus. “I presume this meeting concerns my brother?”

[Name] gave the God of the Underworld a curt nod. “I’ll just get straight to the point so to not further waste our time. Can we all come to common agreement that Poseidon is the biggest drama queen in history?"

Hades didn’t know what was more worrisome; her odd exclaim, or the fact that no one had so much as reacted to it. Have things like this truly become the norm?

Most eyes darted to Apollo, and then lingered there, before returning to her, obviously questioning her statement. However, [Name] did not yield under their distrustful stares but continued speaking without any less conviction. "Yes, sure. Some might argue that the twink has some dramatic traits as well."

Apollo craned his neck in her direction, no longer staring in the reflection of his hand mirror. "Why are we listening to her, again?"

“Because they’d rather be here than at one more of your lame parties.” Apollo furrowed his brows, but ultimately decided to just massage the tense muscles of his temples, not desiring to start a fruitless dispute with her.

“But we are not here to talk about Apollo, but Poseidon – the biggest drama queen I have ever encountered in my entire life.”

Beelzebub sighed, tapping his foot impatiently against the marble floor. He just wanted to return to his research. “How did you even come to such an irrational conclusion?”

Standing tall, [Name] placed her hands on her hips. “Irrational? Do you guys truly not see it?” Blank stares were shot in her direction, only Heracles and Ares had the decency to shake their heads.

“Well then, allow me to provide you with an example; If a fly were to land on that drama queen’s shoulder, he would not hesitate to drown all their villages, slaughter their children, and then feed their corpses to the nearest animal.”

Loki snickered, obviously finding some amusement in what he deemed to be an exaggerated story. [Name] ignored him and continued. “And then, to truly top it off, after exterminating an entire species he would just act as normal, as if his reaction was more than justifiable.”

“She does have a point,” the serene voice of Aphrodite spoke. “Poseidon’s reactions do tend to be quite… overbearing at times.”

[Name] dragged a hand through her hair in hope that the motion would soothe her racing mind. “And I know this to be true because that fly is a metaphor for us humans. I literally bumped into him just the other day, and this bitch-”

A warning glare from Hades.

“This very fine gentleman acted like I gave him the bubonic plague.” Loki and Shiva broke into a fit of laughter. The Hindu god even toppled off his chair, but that didn’t seem to encourage him from continuously laughing his ass off.

[Name] rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, continue howling all day long you buffoons, but I think I singlehandedly made him wish for a second Ragnarok.” This only made the duo double over, trying to choose between drying their tears or holding their stomachs. It was a good day for Shiva to have four arms.

Hermes, however, coaxed his brows. “Do you mean to tell us that you came in contact with Lord Poseidon without invoking his wrath?”

[Name] cocked her head to the side. “Didn’t I just tell you that he looked like he wanted to pierce me into a shish kebab?”

Hades moved his king one square forward on the chessboard, the slight click when the piece hit the wood gaining her attention. “That is not what he meant, my dear. If our brother is truly angry, he will not hesitate to kill whoever is around him. The fact that you are still alive indicates that he had no desire of ending your life.”

Odin nodded from the seat beside his son, who was staring out of the window, wishing for this conversation to come to an end.

"This!” [Name]’s sudden outburst caught the attention of everyone in the room, including the socially withdrawn God of Thunder. “This is what I mean when I call him dramatic! You have just grown used to his actions. Look, I don't mind his exaggerated reactions, but he needs a bit of variation.”

[Name] began pacing around the room, her back straight and chin held high, while holding a stick in her hand. Where did she even get that?

“Someone breathes the same air as me? Dead.” Everyone’s eyes widened.

She was imitating Poseidon.

“Someone accidentally steps on my foot? Dead. Someone has the audacity to look me straight in the eye? Dead.” She stopped and heaved a heavy sigh, “Like, come on. Try something new for once, please."

Zeus stroked his long beard. "Wait, let me get this straight. You mean to tell us that your problem with Poseidon is not his behaviour, but that it has grown old?"

[Name] slammed her hands against the table, making the glasses along the wine bottles on it shake with the sudden force. “Yes!”

“This meeting is over.” Hades declared, already walking away. It did not take long for the other deities to follow him, Loki and Shiva needing to crawl out from all their excessive laughing.

“Fine, go! But don’t come crying to me when you guys realize I was right!”

“We won’t,” cooed Zeus.

…

“Hades?”

“Yes, Zeus?”

The King of the Gods blinked, not believing his eyes. “Why is Poseidon drowning that entire meadow?”

Before the two deities stood their brother, sending wave after wave into a beautiful landscape of green hills and the most gorgeous of flowers.

Hades sighed, running a hand through his white hair. “To kill the flies.”

Zeus turned his head to his brother, already dreading his next answer. “Why?”

The King of the Underworld gulped, cursing that mortal for how correct she had been. “Because a fly had landed on his shoulder.”

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 5 months

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Can I request another Anya!Reader if that’s okay?

After watching Princess and the Frog, she looks at Apollo, telling him even if he was a frog she wouldn’t kiss him, instead she would throw him off a bridge (Who’s cackling at her brutal honesty and lack of regard to Apollo’s feelings)

I believe in the Bullying Apollo Supremacy 😂🛐

-Your eyes were bright and sparkly, watching a princess movie, The Princess and the Frog, with your family all around you, as it was your turn to pick a movie for family night.

-The music and the story were both beautiful and you couldn’t help but smile brightly the whole way through. Your family did enjoy the movie, but seeing your smiling face is what made it really memorable.

-As the credits were rolling, Apollo, who was on his belly next to you, turned, beaming brightly, “Y/N~ if I was a frog would you turn me back with a kiss?”

-Your face was that of disgust, turning your nose up, “Eww- no! I hate frogs!” your answer quickly got many of them laughing, hearing your blunt response.

-Apollo then tried again, “What if you knew it was me- you would rescue me, wouldn’t you?” you turned, eyes unwavering, completely serious, “If any of you were frogs I would toss you off a bridge into a river- I wouldn’t want you near me.”

-Can’t breathe because he’s laughing too hard.

-Loki, Leonidas, Zeus, Shiva, Raiden, and Buddha

-Couldn’t help but smile, at least you were honest.

-Odin, Thor, Lu Bu, Kojiro, Poseidon, Hades, Adam, Beelzebub, Nikola, Jack, and Hercules

-Hurt by your lack of willingness to help if they were ever turned into a frog.

-Ares and Apollo

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recreationalfanfics · 1 year

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RoR x Reader Incorrect Quotes but it's Tik Tok Audios:

(Y/n): YOU'RE UGLY WHEN YOU LIE, ZEUS.

Zeus: I'M NOT LYING!

(Y/n): THEN WHY ARE YOU UGLY!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n), trying to convince Brunhilde the best way to defeat the gods: My resolution? Völunder Air strikes. Bomb them. Keep bombing them. Bomb them again-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gen Z Trickster Diety! (Y/n), walking in to talk to Loki: Dawg, why didn't you tell me your cousin had all that ass???

Loki: *slowly swallowing the mead he was drinking and looking at you*.....

Gen Z Trickster Diety! (Y/n): No, bro, hear me out-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Posedion, flirting with human! (Y/n): I think you're, like, the opposite of unattractive. Like, I think you're ugly but REVERSE UGLY, you know what I mean?

(Y/n):....

Poseidon: Like, I think you're like...a 2/10, PLUS 8, uh, divided by 4-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(Y/n), after Brunhilde asks them to help Buddha with something: Perhaps I can help him in a room in which there are no others?

Everyone nearby: *gasps*

Buddha: 😏

(Y/n): Or you can all watch, I don't give a shit-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shiva, if he fought (Y/n): You fight pretty well. You sure you're not just trying to catch my attention?~

(Y/n), who is very gay for the valkyries: Everything I do is for the bitches, I have never done anything for the male gaze.

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yukisnowowl · 10 months

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Meme for @luxthestrange

Marriages in Record Of Ragnarok be like

Zeus And Hera be like:

Shiva And his Wive’s be like:

{This includes to fanfic}

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dance-till-the-death · 1 year

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How I think RoR characters would scream

expect some of them are incorrect because idfk

‼️ LOUD WARNING ‼️

Tags :

@monochrome-cropcrown @roygiri @rexmez @thequietkid-moonie @recreationalfanfics @snowmantita

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #göll #zerofuku #ror kojiro sasaki #ror lu bu #ror zeus #ror aphrodite #ror brunhilde #record of ragnorak #ror memes #snv memes #record of ragnarok x reader #snv x reader #ror imagines #tesla #snv hades #ror hades

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sketchy-owl · 1 year

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~RECORD OF RAGNAROK no sense 🤪~

Episode 19

*Y/N and Poseidon relaxing on the couch*

Y/N:*reads a book*

Poseidon:*doing the same*

Zeus:*kicks the door* HA!! YOU'RE HAVING SEX!

Poseidon:*sighs*

Y/N: *closes the book* Zeus...dear brother in law,do you need glasses?

Zeus:....uh no I...

Y/N:Strange I believed you needed them. 'Cause you can't see that me and my husband are FINALLY spending some quality time together after MONTHS of work,where we couldn't see or talk to each other...and DEAL with YOUR SHIT because you can't keep it in your pants and cheated on your wife AGAIN .

Zeus:Wait,you actually talk to each other...

Y/N:....*looks at Poseidon * Dear husband can I....

Poseidon:I allow you to kick his stupid ass.

Y/N:*smiles and leans over to kiss his cheek* Thank you....* snaps their fingers and lot of arrows of light appear*

Zeus:*pales* Umh...

Y/N:I'll give you 5 seconds *scary smile* Dear brother in law~

Zeus:*runs*

Y/N*goes after him*

Poseidon:*watches Y/N trying to kill his brother* "Y/N truly is charming when they're angry .....ahhh now I'm aroused too bad they are busy..." *reads his book again*

#record of ragnarok no sense #record of ragnarok poseidon #ror poseidon x reader #ror poseidon #ror zeus #snv poseidon x reader #snv poseidon #snv zeus #snv #ror #ror x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie Poseidon #snv x y/n

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adcmans · 1 year

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HADES HEADCANONS

Hades would give his S/O flowers to show how much he loves them, he usually pick ones with meanings or your favorites so he can see you happy. He also pick some of his favorites so when he sees that your busy he would put a flower on your hair admiring you.

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whatdoyoumeanitsnotcanon · 2 years

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You and Your Not-So-Ticklish-But-Probably-Ticklish Gods

Hades - You try and tickle him but it doesn't work the way you wanted it to. It does, however, take his mind off of whatever kept him preoccupied (likely something Zeus gave to him to handle). Have no fear, however, because with his attention now fully on you, it's now his turn to find your most ticklish areas.

Poseidon - You try and, uh... he's so disgusted with your attempt. Don't you see the arousal disgust in his eyes? Pathetic. And so, as a 'gesture of goodwill' or, er, something like that, he drags you off somewhere more private to show you how to properly tickle him. Preferably without clothes on.

Zeus - Why would you do this? You know he'd like it. You know he'd like it too damn much. And now he wants to return the favor. Yep. Have fun.

Loki - Do. not. do. it. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. ...Aw shit, you did it, didn't you? Be prepared to be ambushed with random tickle attacks throughout the day. And probably the night. Told you not to do it.

Buddha - All I can say is lmao. Giggle fits interspersed with makeout sessions between. Wholesome vibes all around.

Thor - You try and he stares. And he stares some more. And some more. Now it's getting awkward. That is, until he hits you with that psychotic ass, battle-horny smirk and promises to show the true meaning of tickling and proceeds to pounce on you. You've never laughed so hard and so loud in your life. The firm kiss that comes afterward seals the deal.

Shiva - Now why would you do this knowing full damn well he has multiple arms and will use said arms to tickle you EVERYWHERE? He promises not to lose the tickling battle to you and makes due on that promise.

Heracles - Ticklish like no. fucking. other. You do it because his laugh is so damn infectious and you love seeing that determined scowl turn into a genuine, boyish smile. You tickle him and next thing you know, you're wrapped up in his arms and he's extolling your virtues, and you... well, you've never blushed so damn hard before.

Odin - "lol," said Huginn and Munnin, judging you for even thinking your attempt would work all while Odin stares at you, unblinking, "LMAO."

#shuumatsu no valkyrie #record of ragnarok #record of ragnarok x reader #ror hades #ror poseidon #ror zeus #ror heracles #ror odin #ror loki #ror buddha #ror shiva #ror thor #there will be a list for the human side as well so stay tuned.

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gayometer · 2 years

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Zeus: Why is Poseidon holding his stomach?

Y/n: he's too tall for me to kiss, so I punched him to make him bend down

Hades: you could've asked him

Y/n: that includes being nice....I'm allergic to that

#record of ragnarok #shuumatsu no valkyrie #ror #snv #snv hades #ror hades #shuumatsu no valkyrie hades #shuumatsu no valkyrie poseidon #snv poseidon #ror poseidon #snv zeus #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #record of ragnarok x reader #gn reader

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rukia-writes · 1 year

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Zeus x (fem) reader

A/N: Yes, I know we have an event but I wanted to write this while I had the inspiration for it. It was originally going to be about the first half of the story but i had another idea to add to it.

“Next!”

Mount Olympus was a buzz as it seemed like thousands were outside waiting to be seen for a position that was quite promising, baby sitting Zeus’ children. While it seemed like a mundane task the rewards were very promising, paid in gold every day, free meals and if need be a room at the palace all for them.

Zeus had just been crowned king of the cosmos and didn’t have time for babysitting, Athena didn’t count as she was already a full grown adult. A young Zeus had grown tired after quickly dismissing many candidates as they what Zeus described as,

“Too uptight.”

“Too greedy.”

“Too old.”

“Too young.”

“…I’m looking for a woman really.”

Zeus was very picky about who he wanted and so far no one seemed to meet the criteria, soon the sun had set and Zeus felt like he was no closer to getting someone for the job. However, the door opened and in walked a woman that seemed to check all of his boxes of he wanted.

“Hello, I’m here for the baby sitting-“

“You’re hired!”

The woman was perplexed as she wasn’t expecting answer today, and definitely wasn’t expecting Zeus to look her up and down.

“Um, aren’t you’d supposed to ask a few questions?”

“Huh? Oh, right. Sit down.”

Zeus gently pushed the woman down on a sofa with Zeus sitting across from her with a wide tooth grin. Zeus asked her name and when she told him Zeus proudly announced who he was and told her about the job.

“So, are you single?”

“…Yes, I am single.”

“Oh good, I ask that because my kids are very demanding and sometimes you may have to stay the night here. Is that a problem?”

“No, I’m fine with that.”

“Great! I’ll introduce you to the children!”

Zeus eagerly showed (Name) around the palace, from the many kitchens to the many bedrooms. Even hinting she could visit him anytime, if he was there. Finally, Zeus opened a rather large door with ease and inside were three children and in the middle was was a baby bassinet.

“Evening brats! I finally found you guys a baby sitter, introduce yourselves.”

“I’m Ares! Hi!”

Looking down, (Name) saw a small child with blonde hair and blue eyes with a small dimple in his chin. (Name) noted the bright smile he had and introduced herself as well, his small red cape was adorable too. Soon after, Apollo introduce himself kindly scooting a young Ares out the way making Ares pout.

“I’m Hermes! It’s nice to meet you.”

Everyone looked at the baby bassinet to see a infant Hermes sitting up, everyone seemed happy that Hermes introduced himself while (Name) found it weird that a baby was talking intelligently. Zeus added in, that Hermes was remarkably bright for his age and that he would also be the most trouble.

As time passed, (Name) became close with Zeus and his children as she watched them day by day. Ares liked to practice fight most days while Apollo liked to play his lyre with Hermes, and if Hermes was busy he liked to go hunting with his sister, Artemis. Zeus, was right, Hermes was the most trouble out of all Zeus’ trouble as he was everywhere.

Most infants couldn’t crawl, this wasn’t the case with Hermes as he was able to not only walk but run and he didn’t like to be in one place long. However, he would always arrive when (Name) called for him. Zeus was no where to be found, what he was doing (Name) wasn’t too sure.

Most mornings when (Name) slept over the previous night the children would wake her up, Hermes especially as his little hands would tap (Name) on her forehead. Some days, (Name) was able to get all the children into one place by taking them on trips throughout Valhalla. The bonding time was necessary for the children as they had fun throughout the day, however none of them knew it but Zeus was close by.

One day, (Name) couldn’t find Ares.

Panicking, (Name) looked everywhere in the palace for him. From the kitchen to the many great rooms they had with a sleeping baby Hermes strapped tightly to her chest, not phased by (Name)’s constant moving. Eventually, (Name) found him outside in the corner of the courtyard crying hunched over with his knees to his chest. Worried, (Name) comforted the young god while asking “What happened?”

(Name) tried to make out what he was saying as he sobbed between his sentences, piecing together that Ares had actually scraped his left knee and was bleeding a bit. Picking Ares up and carrying him in her arms, Ares asked (Name) not to tell his father as he didn’t want to seem weak.

Of course, (Name) promised Ares she wouldn’t tell but also told him that it was fine for boys to cry and that he wasn’t weak for crying. Comforted, Ares smiled while sniffling and told (Name) thank you. While carrying Zeus’ children in her arms, Zeus was nearby seeing the whole exchange finding it rather adorable as he had heart in his eyes.

His heart aflame.

“But it’s a great idea!”

“Absolutely not, (Name).”

While Zeus’ throne room (Name) had proposed the idea of having a little “play” of sorts, involving all Zeus’ brothers. Zeus immediately threw out the idea as he couldn’t see his brothers doing something so childish, even if it was for the kids.

“You should be more involved with your children, Zeus. It would make us both happy.”

Grumbling, Zeus knew (Name) was right and so he contacted his brothers.

“Well, I like it.”

A few days later all four brothers managed to make it Zeus’ palace, Hades found the idea cute, Poseidon had no comment, Adamas hated it and Zeus just wanted to see how this play out.

“So, you’ll do it?”

“Why do I have to be the troll? Tell your baby sitter I’m not doing this!”

“That’s what you’re upset about, Adamas?”

Hades asked as he found Adamas mad about his part and not the play in itself. Hades agreed to do it, which made the two brothers join in, Zeus was surprised they agreed to it but still he agreed to go along with it.

So, later that night just before all the children went to bed the four brothers agreed to do a play on a famous story that seemed to resonate with young gods. Hermes sat on (Name)’s lap with a smile on his face as Ares, Artemis,Apollo happily sat on the bottom in a chair of their own as their uncles performed their skit.

"Who's that tripping over my bridge?"

Adamas angrily asked as he was dressed in a troll costume, (Name) thought he played his part well and so did Hermes and Apollo as they made “ooo” noise with little smiles on their faces.

"Oh, it is only I, the tiniest Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat.”

Hades, while it was true he was the oldest of the brothers and should have went last there was a build up at the end and so Hades agreed to go first. Proceeding with the story with Hades telling Adamas to wait for the other goat to arrive while hiding behind the theatre curtain, then it was Poseidon’s turn.

“And just who's that tripping over my bridge?"

"… the second Billy Goat Gruff , and I'm going up to the hillside to make myself fat.”

Poseidon was perfect but not as energetic as Hades which the kids noticed but they still liked his performance anyways, Proceeding with the story Poseidon told Adamas to wait for the last goat to come by not caring that he was supposed to stay in place until Adamas finished his line as he too hide behind the curtain with Hades.

It didn’t matter, as Zeus appeared making the kids cheer for their father.

“And so where your big brother.”

“There isn’t any hooves bigger than me, and I’m going to eat that grass.”

(Name) was a bit taken back as the two lines weren’t in the skit that she wrote down, the two were definitely improvising.

“Not if I eat you first!”

“Well, come and get it bitch.”

The kids all “ooo” with Hermes adding in, “He called you a bitch.” Mortified (Name) really didn’t approve of the improvisation but it was too late as the two had already charged at each other. Only for things to get worse as Zeus landed the punch on Adamas’ face, unfortunately Zeus thought he had punched Adamas rather soft only for Adamas to go through the roof and into the night sky with a twinkle sound echoing.

“Ooops.”

Zeus whispered as he didn’t intend to send his brother flying, the kids however loved it as they clapped their hands and cheered. Which Zeus played up to as the children crowded around him, Hades wondered if Adamas was okay as Poseidon simply asked (Name) where she wanted the costumes to go. Shocked (Name) simply told Poseidon where to put the costume, and from that day forward she never asked the Zeus or his brothers to perform a skit again.

Adamas, was found and was unhurt. However, Adamas was angrier at Zeus for an entire decade but Zeus would always say it was for the kids and they needed some action. Zeus apologized to (Name) actually to (Name) rather than his brother, however (Name) didnt accept it and told him to apologize to his brother.

Which Zeus did.

As the years passed, the children grew into their own. Each with their different personalities and yet all seemed to always cherish their baby sitter. The time was coming for (Name) to retire, which was a problem for Zeus as he wanted (Name) to stick around.

Fate could be funny and cruel.

“She did what?!”

“Hera, has seemed to cast down her baby to earth.”

Hermes, now a fully grown adult informed Zeus on what happened. Zeus, was surprised she did that and was informed that she did so because the baby had a deformity. Thinking to himself, Zeus didn’t know what to do about the situation until Hermes suggested that (Name) could take care of the baby and raise the baby in secrecy.

As a matter of fact, that is what happened.

Zeus and (Name) traveled to earth together, finding the baby crying and alone (Name) happily agreed to raise the baby. Zeus found the timing perfect, as he was able to spend more time with (Name) as he took the two back to Valhalla and helped to raise the baby in secrecy.

Whenever, Zeus visited Hephaestus always had a new invention. Two self moving stones statues that guarded the entrance and several golden maidens that served (Name) and helped him sometimes. Again, Zeus checked on how everything was going and while he was there he would give (Name) compliments and money for anything they needed for taking care of Hephaestus.

Again, Hephaestus grew up and was eventually granted access to mount Olympus. Zeus, found the event of Hera being tied up to the golden throne entertaining by Hephaestus but he needed (Name) to stay and so he asked (Name) to stay on Mount Olympus as he used Hephaestus as an excuse for (Name) to stay as Hephaestus didn’t accept Hera as his mother and that told everyone, when they asked, that (Name) was his mother and that Zeus was his father.

Zeus added in that he didn’t want to separate the two, but in truth he didn’t want (Name) to part from him. (Name) agreed to stay, making Zeus happy as he hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead and to make things even sweeter Zeus’ children also considered (Name) their mother, Whether (Name) liked it or not and would defend her from any harm.

The unspoken queen of the heavens.

🎊Rukia-Writes🎊

#shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #Zeus x reader #ror x reader #snv x reader #record of ragnarok x reader

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